Procrastination by Numbers

[Garzini]

additions to last nights votes:
Favourite Model on your Blog: Prince Althran on Foot
Worst GW Model of 2011 : Daemons of Chaos Herald of Tzeentch on Disc

[cunningmatt]

additions to last nights votes:
Favourite Model on your Blog: Prince Althran on Foot
Worst GW Model of 2011 : Daemons of Chaos Herald of Tzeentch on Disc

Many thanks!

If you haven't voted yet, I've extended the deadline until the end of Friday 13th of January (un-oh), to let you get them in. Looking at the votes as they stand we have a number of very closely fought categories with surprising leaders so your votes really do count. Except that they don't as this is all meaningless, but gloss over that and get involved in the fun! 

[cunningmatt]

Update 32 – Monday 9th January 2012: If 2011 had been voted off The X Factor... Part 1

Welcome back to Procrastination by Numbers back after the Christmas break. Now first up I have a little announcement to make, could the person who got drunk last week at the club and decided to leave by bus please not do it again as Sainsbury's aren't very happy:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-16460272

All this we are gearing up for next week's glittering 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards Ceremony as we'll be looking back at the highs and lows of 2011. And as we do I remind you there's still time to vote for the awards. All you need to do is copy and paste this red bit of text into a PM to me, with your votes and send it over by midnight on Friday 13th of January (our extended closing date):

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011

Category 3: Best Games System of 201

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

So if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for a bribe from the Russian Football Association? All your votes are very gratefully appreciated and will make a big difference. Alternatively I will be along at the club tonight for you to hand your votes into in person. Now on with the 2011 look back.

As you've probably noticed by now its 2012, and as is customary I've written an exciting review of 2011 for us to reminisce over. Now traditionally reviews of the year are written before the end of the year, but by saving my review until 2012 I won't have missed out on any last minute events that occurred of those final days of 2011 – I mean if the world had ended on the 30th of December 2011 what a fool I'd have looked with this incomplete review of the year. Secondly and most importantly publishing in 2012 gives me an opportunity to look at everyone else's reviews of the year to save me having to rely on my increasingly erratic memory or doing any proper research.

2011 was a bumper year full of more events than you can think of, the months literally whizzed by with your calendar pages turning faster than Aleisha Dixon at the sight of Simon Cowell's cheque book. I've broken the year down into 12 nice convenient chunks which I've called months, sadly the real world has s**t all over this by spreading more complex news stories across many months so please bare with any chronological errors. And I challenge you to get through this list without at least once saying "oh I'd forgotten that".

2011 Review of the Year – Part 1

January

2011 began bright eyed and bushy-tailed with the UK buried under tonnes of white stuff, no not the explosion of Kerry Katona but a thick blanket of snow. And 2011's Award for "If only we'd had hindsight" was claimed early in the year when on the 1st of January Estonia became the 17th country to join the Euro. And in what would become known as the Arab Spring, the Tunisian government fell to a wave of upraising all started when a vegetable seller set fire to themselves in late 2010. Southern Sudan became the world's newest country annoying atlas makers by declaring peaceful independence from Sudan. England won the Ashes representing a token effort by me to include sport when I know nothing about it (apparently that was good?!). And in stupid news Andy Gray and Richard Keys got fired from Sky News after tapes of them accusing women of not being able to understand the outstandingly complex game of football were released. The primary mistake the duo made was in thinking that women don't follow football because they're too stupid, whereas in reality they don't follow it because their too busy getting incensed over EastEnders. The soap spent January in trouble for portraying a depressing story, even by it's standards, as Ronnie Mitchell swapped her dead baby for that of Kat Moon's, to an increasing chorus of angry viewers who'd completely forgotten that EastEnders wasn't a documentary.



In Hobbyland, January saw a raft of new Skaven models hit the shelves from the Hell Pit Abomination (which up until this point I'd presumed was some kind of pit as everyone called it a Hell Pit and I didn't have the Skaven book), to the Skaven Doom-Flayer accompanied by The Uniforms and Heraldry of the Skaven book and even some classic Space Marines. Back in the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves I'd been on holiday taking photos of funny Spanish signs, there was my first ever illustrated battle report and the Coalition Beastmen Army assembled to assault The Black Isle (unsuccessfully). My bid to spend 2011 painting more than I bought got off to a good start when I painted 40 Gors, 20 Bestigors, a Repeater Bolt Thrower, 20 High Elf Archers, 2 Great Eagles and a High Elf Monolith. I did end up buying a Beastlord, 20 Phoenix Guard and as a late Christmas present got 16 Marauders, Sigvald the Magnificant a Beastmen Chariot and a Razagor. Which took my 2011, painted:bought ratio to a good early start of 96:46*



*counted in terms of 7th edition unit strength (with a bit of imagination for some things).

February

Back in February the traditional Valentine's month saw the glittering Oscars ceremony where the King's Speech triumphed winning 4 Oscars and showing that people with speech impediments used to have proper jobs and didn't need to become chat show hosts. The Arab Spring continued (even though February is technically still winter), as the Egyptian government was overthrown. Up until then Egypt had been considered one of the most stable countries in the region, primarily as it's government was built on a pyramid scheme – oh come on give us a laugh, there isn't much funny about global uprising, except of course Colonel Gaddafi who continued to deny the existence of the Libyan rebellion, his fashion sense and sanity in a series of bizarre speeches that caused confused even Charlie Sheen. Back in the UK surprise TV hit of the year Big Fat Gypsy Weddings launched on Channel 4 regularly achieving a massive eight million viewers, just shy of the figures this blog gets.



In Hobbyland, February saw the Blood Angels get a raft of reinforcements from the mighty Stormraven Gunship to a brand new Battle Force, plus the first sneak peaks at the Warhammer Forge releases came along. In blogland we discussed what on earth a "plog" was, why you can't give a 110% unless you're a t**t and I made a few understated comments on Valentine's Day. In painting corner I bought no new models giving me a great opportunity to improve my painted:bought ratio except I didn't paint anything due to a busy work month keeping us at 96:46.



March

March's news was of course dominated by the tragic earthquake and subsequent tsunami which devastated the North East of Japan, which then became further overshadowed by the meltdown of the Fukushima reactor. Providing the disturbing revelation that I along with most people in the developed world seem more shocked by natural disasters that occur in other developed countries. At home large scale protests against the government's austerity measures were overshadowed when a small angry group attacked banks and shops in an anti-capitalist protest which it later turned out was just the qualifying heats to the August finals. Charlie Sheen was fired from his job as the world's most highly paid actor, after an increasing series of bizarre public statements and the revelation he was on the drug "Charlie Sheen". 13 year old Rebecca Black became the subject of an internet hate campaign after she recorded a pop video as part of one of those day-out experience events that was universally condemned as the worst music video ever after being shown on YouTube, causing bitter disappointment amongst The Cheeky Girls who had been assured of the award. And Midsommer Murders got in trouble after revealing to those fearsome interviewers at The Radio Times that they portray the universally white middle England with a cast whiter than a Persil advert.



In Hobbyland, March saw the first 8th Edition Army book hit the shelves as Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins arrived in hardback and everyone went "oooooo" over the new Arachnarok Spider model, plus the Dark Eldar got a host of new bits and pieces too. On the forum I visited Liverpool, launched the Spot the Painting Brush Top competition, discussed what would happened if a Polystyrene Herdstone fell over in Telford Town Centre (no really we did), the first and only edition of the Daily Tale was published, I shared my tips on Banner Painting and Ritchie declared I should become a Cult Leader – in completely unrelated circumstances he has now left the forum! In a special characters bumper painting edition I managed to complete Caradryan, 20 Phoenix Guard, some movement trays, Malagor and Ghorros and despite temptation to buy an Arachnarok Spider I managed to just buy parts for my Jabbersltyhe conversion taking our important painted:bought ratio to 124:51 – wooo!!



April

My research into April showed that according to the news not much happened, this was primarily due to some unseasonably hot weather – due to the disastrous project of outsourcing climate to Boris Johnson, which resulted in the hottest weather of the year falling in April and October. Additionally Easter and a bumper crop of Bank Holidays (three with a further one close behind in May) due to the Royal Wedding increased the incentive for a non-news worthy month. Although an estimated TV audience of 2 billion tuned into watch Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot, with 1 billion women ogling the dress and 1 billion men ogling Pippa Middleton's bottom, all of them distracted from the disturbing sight of the spontaneous growth of a forest in Westminster Cathedral. April Fool's Day erupted into a bumper edition when Nick Clegg launched a referendum on the Alternative Voting system (you'd forgotten about that hadn't you?!) the result was announced in May, but not much happened in April so I needed something to write about here.



In Hobbyland, April saw the Grey Knights step into the Warhammer 40,000 world some of which had a bigger stride than others in their Dreadknight kit. Meanwhile I fooled you all into thinking I'd got a job writing professionally for Games Workshop, Cheryl my plant died, my 21st birthday happened for the 9th time, I painted in the garden, we discussed how Easter is annoyingly unspoofable and some of you looked for Easter Eggs in my blog. Painting wise I only managed a High Elf Prince on Griffon, but I did purchase 2 Tuskgor Chariots, 3 Razagor and 2 Chaos Spawn upsetting the painted:bought ratio to a little less impressive 129:76.



May

May saw a flurry of US news stories makes the headlines when Cheryl Cole was shot by US Navy Seals and Osama Bin Laden was sacked from The X Factor USA – I think that's the right way round. While Osama's Geordie accent was blamed for his lack of likeability critics praised his judging of American talent, whereas Cheryl Cole was found holed up in Pakistan and buried at sea. In sports' news Manchester United and Manchester City won some things and the superinjunction story finally came to a head when the world's worst kept secret that footballers do stupid things emerged. As it became clear Ryan Giggs had slept with someone he shouldn't have. Obviously the most disturbing thing about the whole superinjunction saga was not the limiting of the freedom of the press, but the shock news that two people had slept with Andrew Marr – amazing, I thought one was pushing the limits of plausability. Portugal was rescued by the EU Monetary fund in what turned out to be a mini-cliff hanger on the road to 2011's season finale of Europe-wide financial collapse. And it was proved the public really shouldn't be allowed a say when The Only Way is Essex won a BAFTA Audience Award – thank god we don't let the public have a say on any important issues like who is running the country.



In Hobbyland, most hobbyists got sand in their toes with the arrival of the brand new Tomb Kings army book complete with Necrosphinx and Tomb Guard. On the blog I vowed never to build metal models again after using up all of 2011's supply of patience building some Razargor, we discussed the importanceof Procrastination, I bought an iPhone, I went on my balcony to varnish some models and enjoyed the dark art of water effects. Painting wise it was a bumper Beastmen month as I painted 2 Tuskgor Chariots, 2 Chaos Spawn, a Beastlord, Jabberslythe and 3 Razagors. And a belated birthday present of 16 High Elf Spearmen and 5 Dragon Princes took the all important painted:bought ratio to 160:102.



June

According to all the news websites nothing happened in June, nothing not a single thing. Every review of the year skims over June like a proud mother skims over her rapist son when introducing her family at Christmas. Broadly speaking there was a continuation of every event already running, the Arab Spring rumbled on (even though it's now summer), the Fukushima reactor continued to degrade, economic collapse continued in the Eurozone and protests at austerity measures hit many countries. Oh err... Glastonbury happened.



In Hobbyland, Citadel Finecast caused a storm of people going "this model isn't moulded properly" as Games Workshop dealt with my complaints about the metal Razagor models in quite an impressive manner (not that Finecast Razagor exist yet). In blogging news my full Beastmen Army assembled at Club OG (like Club Tropicana except you have to pay for drinks), I showed you how to make movement trays, got caught stealing content from BBC 6 Music. Plus it was the end of an era as the painting of the Dragon Princes of Caledor saw the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves come to a close after an impressive 43 pages and over 600 comments, not before I had a chance to go Behind the Scenes with a very special blog entry. In painting news not only did the Dragon Princes get completed but so did 17 Swordmasters and a High Elf Hero taking our painted:bought ratio to 188:134 due to the accidental purchase of 32 Chaos Marauders.



And that takes us to the halfway point of the year; make sure you check back into Procrastination by Numbers on Wednesday for Part 2 of our review of 2011 as we look back at July through to December. And if you haven't yet voted in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards yet, get fingers to keyboard and do it now!

[Dave]

Ohh, look at what you could have won.

Thankfully I didn't track my purchases in the year.  It basically consisted of 3-4 armies and I only really painted 2, so suspect I was well down on breakeven.  Maybe this year...

[cunningmatt]

Thankfully I didn't track my purchases in the year.  It basically consisted of 3-4 armies and I only really painted 2, so suspect I was well down on breakeven.  Maybe this year...

I think it comes from nature intending me to become an accountant and me fighting back, I now have a compulsive urge to audit my life.

[Dave]

Where as I am an accountant and I know that most accountants have only the loosest control of their money and generally are pretty rubbish at regulating their own lives!

Also having spent 4 years working as an auditer I can think of few things that are less fun than reconciling my spending.  I'll count the fun output at the end of it but not the scary 'you spent how much' part at the other end!

[Toast]

I am amazed how quickly you painted those spearmen.  Now be friendly, take shadow on your level 4 and MINDWAAZZOOOOOOOR!!   Please.

[cunningmatt]

I am amazed how quickly you painted those spearmen.  Now be friendly, take shadow on your level 4 and MINDWAAZZOOOOOOOR!!   Please.

Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, how could you suggest that I would ever do something so mean and devious? (In fairness I'd probably never think of it). As punishment I think you should vote in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards - come on you don't want to be the only person on the forum who hasn't voted?!

[cunningmatt]

Apologies in advance, it's another post about voting. We have had an amazing number of votes already cast in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards and the results as they currently stand look very interesting.

But we could do with a few more votes, there are four days to have your say. All you need to do is PM with your votes (simply write the category number and your choice - nothing else is needed, and feel free to live out any category you don't feel qualified to answer.

A couple of people have asked to see the full list of categories and suggested nominees again (remember you can suggest your own winner in any of the categories). So below follows a repost of the part of Update 28 that listed all the categories. In the meantime, if you haven't yet:

GET VOTING

Thanks!!

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011. Whether you're a painter, a gamer, a collector, or someone in between you've probably got excited about the release of a new model this year, and maybe even bought it. So what's the model that's excited you the most? It can be any model or kit that was released in 2011 (though we won't except Citadel Finecast re-releases of existing models, brand new Finecasts are fine). To get you in the mood, here are some of my favourites (purely in alphabetical order):

•   Arachanok Spider – Looking much like me in the morning, only slightly less angry. The first of many giant Warhammer plastic kit has been upsetting Orc & Goblin opponents since March.


•   Garden of Morr – Perhaps you want something you can use with your Hornby Model Railway display as well as your gaming table. Was August's graveyard excitement for you?


•   Imotekh the Stormlord – unable to get through a metal detector at Heathrow Airport, but maybe one of the smaller models from this November is your choice.


•   Mangler Squigs – Giant and orange, but less likely to squash you than Russel Brand. The Mangler Squigs hit the shelves in December.


•   Stormraven Gunship – It's big and it's read and it's not Thunderbird 3, it's impossible to move without making "woosh" and "pow, pow" noises. Out in time for Valentine's Day.


•   Thundertusk & Stonehorn – more hair than in my bathplug, September's Ogre monstrosity could be your model of 2011.


•   Or maybe it was none of these, remember you can nominate any model you like!

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011. A catch all category that contains everything that isn't a model that popped out of the GW forges this year. So games, rule books, accessories, tools... and anything else you can think of fit in here. Here's some suggestions that popped into my head:

•   Codex: Grey Knights – Easter saw everyone reaching for a pot of Mithril Silver as those Daemon hunting Marines got a brand new book (as did the Necrons this year).


•   Dreadfleet – Perhaps Pirate antics in the Warhammer world is exactly what you wanted this year? Perhaps you're the person who actually bought Dreadfleet? Either way October's main release might be for you.


•   Liquid Green Stuff – Are you addicted to a very simple, but highly effective pot of Green Goo with more charm than Jeremy Clarkson?


•   Uniforms & Heraldry of the Skaven – Way back at the beginning of the year the equivalent of the Ratman version of the Grattan Catalogue popped through every Skaven players door.


•   Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – If manipulating people through dodgy Pyramid schemes is your idea of fun, you probably bought yourself the brand new Tomb Kings book (Orcs & Goblins and Ogre Kingdoms also got a look in this year).


•   Warhammer Storm of Magic – Did casting cataclysmic spells, summoning fell beasts or simply spinning the pointy spinner lots get you going back in July? (Blood in the Badlands was another Warhammer supplement this year)


•   Or was it something else, remember you can nominate what you like!

Category 3: Best Games System of 2011. What was your favourite game system this year? I've listed the obvious Games Workshop choices here, but feel free to go outside the box, and outside the Games Workshop with your suggestions here:

•   Dreadfleet – Potentially this could win two awards, more awards than copies actually sold, which would be embarrassing.
•   Warhammer 8th Edition – Oft maligned, but maybe you love to hate it? Could the game of Fantasy battles be your choice for 2011?
•   Warhammer 40,000 current edition (don't know the number) – Have you been shooting with your tanks and attacking with your aliens? Do you care about the future?
•   Or is it something else Games Workshop or otherwise. Remember you can vote for any system you fancy.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011. As my ASBO prevents me attending the Tournament scene can't really advise here. I played two tournaments this year, one of which I was partnering Steven so I'll let you guess what my favourite one was  !!

•   Any Tournament you like can go here. Get voting.

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011. Obviously there's no choice here, I am clearly going to be your choice for Best Forum Contributor who else comes close (please read this with a healthy does of sarcasm, else I will sound like a turd). Seriously you can choose anyone from the forum you want, though the only rule is don't vote for yourself.

•   To avoid getting a slap from anyone I don't list here, I'm not listing anyone. So choose your favourite forum contributor here.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011. Who had the Best Painting Blog on the forum this year? Maybe they had the best models, the best painting advice or just some witty charm. In the interests of not wanting to be a knob, you can't vote for any blog I've penned. Sorry but I am that modest.

•   Again I don't want to list my favourites, but why not got to the Da Gallery board and choose your favourites here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011. Who posted up the best painted model this year? Which photograph of a scary monster, magic wizard or mighty tank made you go oooooooooooooo! Again you can vote for whomever you like, but not anything I've painted. That would be wrong (plus I have my own categories to come! He he!!):

•   Mum's the word on my favourites, but Da Gallery is the place to go: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011. Some people may say it's very vain to have my own category which only I can win. Well tough it's my awards ceremony! Besides I need you to tell me what you liked this year so I can make 2012 an even better blog. For this category any update from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or our very own Procrastination by Numbers that I have penned can win. Maybe it's for excellent writing style, brilliant painting advice, witty repertoire, bitter vengeance or a good cock joke – you decide. Here's some of my favourites:

•   The Adventures of Great Bray Shaman Cameron (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 3 onwards – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.240). Did the exploits and multiple deaths of Cameron, Clegg, Cable and others (sadly not in real life), make your 2011 perfect?


•   The Daily Tale News Report (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 12 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.405). Everything the News of the World no longer has, saucy page threes, breaking headlines and utter tosh.


•   Guess the Number of Chairs (Procrastination by Numbers Update 9 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.60). The worst competition since the GMTV phone-in scandal, but when the prize is Angel Delight how can you refuse?


•   High Elf vs Dark Elf Battle Report (Procrastination by Numbers Update 13 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.90). Were you impressed with months spent recreating the club's lava board in Microsoft Paint or did you just think get a life?


•   Shakeaway Guide (Procrastination by Numbers Update 11 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.75). The only step by step guide of how to order a milkshake on the internet, and they say this blog isn't educational.


•   Valentine's Hatred (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 7 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.300). Mutilated teddies, broken hearts, bitterness and days of therapy may have made February your favourite month for posting.


•   Or did you have something else in mind, go for your life? I can't lose! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011. I was worried that you might think I was vain to have one category that I was definitely going to win, so to make it sound better I've got two. You have missed it in amongst all the procrastination but I have done some painting this year, which was your favourite model? For this category any model or unit I've painted from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or this blog Procrastination by Numbers can win.]. Here's some of my favourites:

•   Caradryan – the High Elf character who is mute (most players on Saturday's tournament probably wish I had this talent), got painted back in April. Do you like the fiery cloak and blonde hair?


•   Dragon Princes – the final unit of the original Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves and certainly an amazing kit, personally I loved the golden helms – so much in fact I've bought another 10!


•   Jabberslythe – not just painted but converted, before Games Workshop made their own one – is this green blob going to get your vote?


•   Malagor, the Dark Omen – standing over a pit of lava is always dangerous, but maybe it will win you an award. Does this useless in battle special character warrant your vote.


•   Prince on Griffon – he's been shot more times than Colonel Gaddafi, and was casualty of the London Riots, but I think he looks great.


•   Tzeentch Sorcerer on Disc – don't touch him, the flying base could collapse at any moment!!


•   Or was it something else?

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011. 2011 may have had winners, but we need to remember the losers too, which was your Model Horriblus of 2011, did it look hideous, was it impossible to paint, or did you cut your finger open assembling it. As with Category 1 any Games Workshop model released this year is eligible, bar Finecast rereleases:

•   I'm going to leave this one wide open to your imagination, so get voting.

[cunningmatt]

Update 33 – Wednesday 11th January 2012: If 2011 had been voted off The X Factor... Part 2

Welcome back to our review of 2011 as part of the run up to next week's showbiz extravaganza – The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards Ceremony where there'll be more celebrities than on the Dancing on Ice line-up, so one will do.

It is of course time for my nearly daily reminder that there's still time to vote for the awards. All you need to do is copy and paste this red bit of text into a PM to me, with your votes and send it over by midnight on Friday 13th of January (our extended closing date):

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011

Category 3: Best Games System of 201

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

So if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for a bribe from the Russian Football Association? All your votes are very gratefully appreciated and will make a big difference. Alternatively I will be along at the club tonight for you to hand your votes into in person. Now on with the 2011 look back.

Now let's get back to the review...

2011 Review of the Year – Part 2

July

In July Norway was rocked by a shocking series of terror attacks. The Space Shuttle Atlantis completed the final mission of the fleet to deposit Piers Morgan into outer space for the good of all humanity, and the first artificial organ transplant was carried out, or so says Wikipedia I after all know nothing. The News of the World was closed down after 183 years, when it emerged it's journalists had hacked the voicemail of the missing schoolgirl Milly Dowler. Rupert Murdoch became one of many big names to visit the Levison inquiry where he was hit in the face by a custard pie, which contained no custard – even now the media lie, and the whole significance of his appearance was reduced to the level of a children's television programme – still at least I understood. In showbiz news the final Harry Potter film was released in cinemas, and Amy Winehouse defied medical science by living to the age of 27 despite the abuse her body had suffered.



In Hobbyland, a Storm of Magic hit the shelves with hundreds of gamers distracted by the spinning pointy arrow thing in the cover accompanied by a range of new flying models, monsters, wizards, limited edition dice and a Finecast Cold One! In blogging news I wasn't – a blogging holiday was existing. Though I did manage to paint up 40 Marauders and 5 Marauder Horsemen, though a few of the new Warriors of Chaos releases may have fallen into my shopping basket as I got a Chaos Lord on Manticore and a couple of Sorcerers taking the painted:bought ratio to an improving 238:141.



August

In August the season finale to the Arab Spring began with The Battle of Tripoli as rebel forces seized the capital from Colonel Gaddaffi's hands, in other news about tyrants The X Factor began it's eighth series. A raft of new judges couldn't distract the general public from the shock news that Louis Walsh is still on the show! Big Brother launched over on Channel 5 and some people won it. And the Iranian embassy condemned British authorities overuse of police force in a "hahaha" comment, as rioting and looting spread across London. Initial anger towards the police shooting of a suspect in Tottenham soon lead to looting in large areas of the capital later spreading to other parts of the country. A shocked nation found things only got worse with every political commentator in the country trying to come up with inventive reasons as to why the riots started, while the rest of us wondered how on earth anyone could be stupid enough to loot Tesco Value Basmati Rice and then post a picture of themselves doing it on the internet so the police could find them.



In Hobbyland, the Vampire Counts got some reinforcements in the shape of some made-up models like a giant Terrogheist, plus we got Morr terrain with the Garden of Morr (I know that joke wasn't funny in August let alone now but give me a break), a Daemons of Chaos battalion and a load of Fine Cast bits. In blogging news the very exciting Procrastination by Numbers launched to worldwide apathy, we discussed alternative Warhammer updates rather than Storm of Magic, the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition started. We reviewed a White Dwarf much to the general meh-ness of the reading public and discussed topics ranging from football to reality television to sh**ting yourself at home whilst the streets burnt. In painting news, I was too scared to leave the house so didn't buy anything, but I did paint 5 Ellyrian Reavers, a High Elf Noble, a Tzeentch Disc rider and 2 Chaos Sorcerers taking the painted:bought ratio to 253:141.



September

September like April and June saw another quiet month in the world, according to the news summaries anyway, again with more continuations of all the year's big stories. However other things popping up in the news were the news that Albert Enstein's Theory of Relativity might be wrong after some neutrinos managed a cheeky shortcut to overtake the speed of light in a tortoise and hare style race. While TV scientists desperately tried to explain neutrinos to a confused population shock spread the world, nothing to do with the science, Lindsay Lohan had unveiled her new haircut. Meanwhile ITV's brand new current affairs show Exposure exposed itself to ridicule and embarrassment after accidentally airing some computer game footage claiming it was shots of the IRA. Of course as a former employee of ITV who was made redundant by them I would never dream of enjoying revelling in ITV's embarrassments, so let's move onto Red or Black?. Oh dear. Ant, Dec & Simon Cowell's hyped up version of You Bet with all the charm sucked out. Contestants were whittled down by answering a question even simpler than Deal or No Deal? in order to whittle them down to one contestant who would get the chance to spin a prop left over from The Wheel of Fortune in order to win one million pounds. The programme didn't help itself when it turned out one of it's winners had spent five years in jail for attacking a former partner.



In Hobbyland, September saw the Ogre Kingdoms join the ranks of new army books with loads of new models from the Stonehorn and Thundertusk kit to the return of Golgfag Maneater causing shock amongst the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar community. Plus yet more bits and pieces for the Dark Eldar, a Saurus Oldblood and a Nurgle Chaos Lord. Over on this blog we had the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition Results, we talked weddings, Shakeaway and turning 30. Plus we discovered the Queen is made from cheese, opticians are horrible and drawing lava boards in Microsoft Paint is tedious. Over in painting land I managed to complete a Daemon Prince, Exalted Hero and Warriors of Chaos Battle Standard Bearer and bought nothing giving us totals of 259:141.



October

October saw the Eurozone lurch from crisis to crisis as combined talks lead by the French and Germans tried to prop up the economies of Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Ireland as a domino effect threatened to engulf Europe – in the sense that the only entertainment anyone in these countries could now afford would be dominos. The global population reached a massive 7 billion, all of which attempted to travel on the Northern Line with me on a daily basis. The government proposed raising the speed limit on the UK's motorways to 80mph in order so that people could leave Wolverhampton quicker, and broadcasting legend Sir Jimmy Saville died and then turned in his grave when he heard that Shane Richie was to present a tribute show. And the Arab Spring came to it's conclusion with the death of Colonel Gaddafi and the subsequent printing of his bloody corpse on the front of every newspaper which was only marginally more tasteful than the Sun's page three that day.



Hobbyland was gripped with piratey puns as Dreadfleet sailed the high seas in a strictly limited edition run – that's still available now, oops! Plus there was a selection of new Citadel tools including Liquid Green Stuff. Over on the blogosphere we were being all nautical ourselves cruising the Mediterranean, deciding what project to paint next, chatting The X Factor and leading Santa and his Elves across the battlefields. The painting table was unvisited in October and with Dreadfleet, 3 Citadel Woods and another 16 Spearmen being bought it wasn't a good month for the painted:bought ratio which stood at 253:257 (after randomly assigning 70 to Dreadfleet and 30 to the forests!).



November

November 2011 saw a host of goodbyes as Silvio Berlusconi reluctantly stepped down from his country's premiership in order to allow it to be guided through economic turmoil, depriving a number of good comedians of reams of material. Berlusconi himself is unlikely to be happy with the decision as he is now no longer immune to trial in a number of Italian cases – that should be fun. Daybreak's presenting team of Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakly were unceremoniously dumped amid poor ratings and reviews after a high profile poaching from the BBC resulting in replies of hahaha from former GMTV presenters and the BBC alike. Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray was found guilty of accidentally causing the singer's death after confusing painkillers with Pringles. Nick Hewer was announced as the new host of Countdown after completing a series of tasks where he had to sell as many letters to members of the general public as possible in two days, make an advert for the show itself and project a manage a team to clear out Jeff Stelling's dressing room. After a nervous final boardroom battle he beat The Chuckle Brothers to the role. Meanwhile the public sector went on a day of nationwide Christmas shopping in order to protest about reduced public service pensions and Jeremy Clarkson offended them all by suggesting they should be shot in a completely serious interview untouched by any hint of irony.



In Hobbyland, November saw the rise of the Necrons, with Doomsday Arks and Catacomb Command Barges hovering about. Plus there was a plethora of the usual Christmas stocking fillers from Skullvane Manse to Custom Army Cases. In the blog we were discussing Boris Johnson, WHSmith and socks. Matty's Top Tips and 50 Spearmen in 50 Days kicked off and Games Workshop rudely released things I wanted to buy. A little painting occurred with Korhil (who I spelt as Korhill all last year – apologies) and a White Lions Chariot making it to the completed shelf and after October's splurge of shopping nothing was bought taking the paitned:bought ratio just into positive at 259:257.



December

December not only was the close of 2011, but bought close to a lot of other things, the British ended all pretence of being popular in Europe after vetoing its latest mandate on economic harmony in order to protect its important financial mismanagement industry. The United States officially declared the end of the war in Iraq leaving the country in a completely stable unwarlike state. A plethora of reality TV shows came to an end with Strictly Come Dancing stealing the ratings crown as Harry Judd won the glitterball trophy, Little Mix won The X Factor and were forgotten in the space of a week, and I'm a Celebrity... was won by one of the other McFly people, I wasn't watching. Kim-Jong Il ended his grip on North Korea prompting a large number of jokes around his name and being "oh so lonely". Samoa and Tokealu said goodbye to the 30th of December, entirely skipping the day, to shoot across the International Dateline and be at GMT +14. And we all shed bucket loads of tears as a child gave a poorly wrapped present to his parents from John Lewis and the Military Housewives stole the Christmas Number One from Little Mix's clutches.



In winter Hobbyland, December was a veritable mishmash of releases with Beastmen monsters, Blood in the Badlands supplements, Mangler Squigs and giant army box sets destined for Christmas trees across hobbyland. In the Blogosphere we were enjoying a selection of low fat chocolate-less Advent Calendars, a spate of High Elf buying, "extreme" sports, Waaaghs and the Great Trials of Christmas. Plus the prize for the Guess the Number of Chairs competition was finally handed out. In painting corner we just crossed the finish line painting an impressive 50 Spearmen but his was more than balanced out with the purchase of a High Elf Army box set and some Christmas gifts of Silver Helms and Chaos Warriors taking the final ratio to 315:389.



And that ladies and gentlemen was 2011 in a slightly large nut shell. Of course no review of the year would be complete without some updates. On the subject of socks ADD PHOTO IN OTHER BLOG I decided to use the day specific socks in the end – you'll be pleased to know. And as regards WHSmith as you can see things have improved in their shops as this photo I took at Brixton store shows:



Not spotted the problem yet? How about now:



There you go!

On that bombshell, make sure you return to Procrastination by Numbers on Friday, when I'll be reviewing the inevitable car crash that was 2011's hobby New Year's resolutions and setting out a load for 2012. And I'll say it again, make sure you vote for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards or I'll smack ya!