Procrastination by Numbers

[roland murat]

bah the reason i collect warriors is revealed. Damn you eyes.

[cunningmatt]

Update 64 – Wednesday 16th May 2012: Is a Fascist Dictatorship really that Bad?

This week's blog is entirely about the thorny subject of voting and democracy, I tried to write this in time for the London mayoral elections a fortnight ago, but failed. Voter apathy there, in action.

Two weeks ago many of you across the country will have been lucky enough to vote in one or more elections to choose councillors for your local area. Those of us in London were lucky enough to have three votes we didn't care about – London Mayor, London Mayoral Assembly Members and our own local councillors. In fact in London there was more box ticking than in a United Colours of Benetton advert, well there would have been if we hadn't been crossing boxes – but the gag about more box crossing than at a Noughts and Crosses convention didn't seem as funny.



Fortunately for the BBC, exactly the same three main candidates ran for London Mayor, as in 2008. And the voters were kind enough to generate exactly the same result, so the Beeb were able to just put on a repeat of the election coverage from four years ago. While someone explained to Boris Johnson what "second term" meant, Ken Livingstone vowed never to return to politics (whilst plotting his 2016 election campaign) and Brian Paddick sweetly presumed his electoral demise was down to the unpopularity of Liberal Democrat coalition policies – no Brian, we've haven't forgotten I'm A Celebrity... an appearance that puts you in a category alongside just George Galloway, though at least you weren't meowing in a Lycra cat suit.

One of the big comments on modern elections is the poor voter turnout – according to some statistics I just googled now in a highly checked piece of research voter turnout was 31.8%, meaning just under seven in ten people didn't vote. Commentators say this is a bad thing, but is it?

You see in my opinion, what is held up as the guiding principal of democracy is its biggest weakness – the fact everyone can vote. I'll let that earth-shattering statement sink in as you judge me entirely. I should point out I don't have a problem with allowing everyone to vote in principal, in a perfect world everyone casts a well-thought out vote for the party whose principals they truly believe in. However in the real world you allow people who have no idea what they are voting for a vote and you allow people to vote on spurious reasons. No one has to justify to anyone why they vote, so you can based your opinion on who has the best haircut, who seems like a nice person, or whose face doesn't clash with your curtains.

I consider myself the perfect example, whilst I had a vague idea of the effect my box crossing would have in the London Mayoral vote (based largely on a significant proportion of the main candidates having already had a go), I had no idea what the other two ballot papers do. I couldn't tell you what the position I was electing actually did, I knew nothing about the candidates, other than the party name scrawled next to them. Though as anyone with a passing familiarity with politics will know, a group of people representing one party is less unified mass with one vision, more bickering crowd of infighters who resemble a group of friends trying to decide which take-out menu to order. Despite all of this and my lack of background knowledge, I still diligently filled out each ballot paper, following the dictatorial anti-origami ruling and posting them in the voting box. I didn't really know who or what I was voting for, but I did anyway, I voted on what felt right.



And that's the problem with democracy anyone can vote without really thinking about it just based on image. It might sound draconian, but wouldn't it arguably be a lot better to let the 10% of people who can be bothered to engage in politics to vote on our behalf and choose the best outcome. Why let the ignorant masses, who let's be honest don't really understand the minutia of fiscal policy, have an uneducated say? We certainly should react to the claims that the only way to counter poor voter turnout is to force everyone to vote. Forcing those who know nothing to choose a box at random in some kind of political lottery would be awful and inefficient. Surely best to have people pass a small politics quiz before they were allowed to enter the ballot box and have a say in who runs the country – it is after all an important decision.

Politics nowadays has reacted to the fact that most people aren't properly scrutinising their actions, the main parties fighting not to give you any substance or policy but to just leave that instinctive feeling that you should vote for them. So that when average Matt public (i.e. me) heads to the polling station he feels the need to put the cross in the right box because it feels right. Not because he's examined in depth the range of party lines and policies and knows it's the right decision.

Image now for politicians is everything; take the last general election in 2010. Now while I'm not saying you couldn't find potential fault in the previous Labour government's policy, a lot of fault finding was taking place with the image of Gordon Brown. Admittedly the man's smile looked like it had been generated via the use of strategically placed electrodes, but is this reason he shouldn't be Prime Minister? I know I look awful when I pose for a smile in any photo – my Facebook album looks like a collection of Barbara Cartland's death masks, but is that reason enough for me to lose my job? Shouldn't we should be judging our politicians on slightly tougher criteria than facial expressions?

And then there's the inevitable gaffs. Remember when Gordon Brown infamously left his microphone on as he left an interview and describing voter Gillian Duffy as a "bigoted woman"? OK a P.R. disaster, but there was something about the incident that made him ultimately more human. We saw fully through the (admittedly cracked) politician's veneer and saw someone who ultimately makes the same mistakes we do. I know I say awful things when I think people have left the room, or when I'm reading something someone's written. You're probably reading this thinking "What an absolute t**t@? Why do I give a toss what this needy spiky haired pillock is thinking about politics?" And that's ok, you're allowed to think this, because I guarantee I am thinking far worse about you dear reader as I type 



My point, and there is one in case you're thinking that this is the literary equivalent of Where's Wally?, is that surely for politicians ability is more important than both image, and even their own moral standards. If it's a choice between, for example, a chancellor who is rubbish at running at the economy but who lives a squeaky clean life, or a chancellor who is excellent at the numbers stuff but routinely cheats on his wife with animals, then I know who I'm voting for. It's Mr Goat-Shagger for office here. What?! Really you have a problem with that? Why would I be bothered? After all I'm neither his wife, nor a goat, just a citizen looking for a well-run economy.

So there we go let's make a stand here, politicians should be elected on substance not style, by the 10% of people who have done their homework and know what they're voting about. Not by people who know nothing like me. And certainly not by the same tedious people who consider "engaging with politics" to be e-mailing into BBC Breakfast. Outlining their pointless opinions on matters which are of no concern to them, like should NASA be dumping sofas on the Moon? Because stupid people always have an opinion, a stupid opinion. Stop asking for it, and certainly don't let them choose the leader of the country.

Failing that we could always go for a fascist dictatorship. Don't get me wrong the invasion of Poland was awful, but at least Hitler was able to get on do things. Under a democracy he'd be too busy worrying about which side to part his hair for his appearance on the Nazi equivalent of The One Show to get any conquering done. And that surely is a bad thing? I think.

Although all of this could just be a preamble to reintroduce Great Bray Shaman Cameron and Beastlord Clegg to this summer's Warhammer campaign... could be!

[DarkStalker]

but at least Hitler was able to get on do things. Under a democracy he'd be too busy worrying about which side to part his hair for his appearance on the Nazi equivalent of The One Show to get any conquering done. And that surely is a bad thing? I think.

Why do I get a nagging feeling this reads like the opening chapter of one of those 'something I posted on the internet was taken horrifically out of context and came back to haunt me' stories..... 

[fatolaf]

Bit high brow for this forum surely.....

[cunningmatt]

Why do I get a nagging feeling this reads like the opening chapter of one of those 'something I posted on the internet was taken horrifically out of context and came back to haunt me' stories..... 

Let's quash that rumour now shall we?!

Bit high brow for this forum surely.....

Not enough poo jokes for you, Ol?

[roland murat]

Update 64 – Wednesday 16th 2012: Is a Fascist Dictatorship really that Bad?


Failing that we could always go for a fascist dictatorship.

I seem to recall the leaflet about the candidates said the BNP guy's father was an immigrant. Made me chuckle did that.

[noahtonkin]

I was just thinking it sounds like your making a case for Heinlans method of voting in starship troopers... Always said it was a good idea!

Funniest thing about modern politics is that the 3 main parties are just completely interchangeable these days. There isn't a more left or right wing party, and they all want to screw with my job to some degree.

Currently it's pensions, but labour took away accommodation for juniors and introduced EWTD, big screw up there.
Personally I only vote for 1 political party. Screaming Lord Sutch was a visionary!


(actually, a lot of his policies made a lot of sense... 99p coin, genius!)

[cunningmatt]

Update 65 – Thursday 17th May 2012: The Story So Far...

The beauty of modern technology means I'm currently typing this blog entry on the move. I'm sat on the floor of a packed commuter train, with a holdall full of paints and Elves as I head down to visit Mr Shakey Shakey – my Wood Elf painting friend for a couple of days of painting. Sadly no matter how amazing my new laptop is, it doesn't make the fact that I am sat on a cold floor, with my heading resting on a wastepaper bin any more bearable. Nor does it magically "disappear" the obese people all around me guzzling their fat faces on bags of cheese & onion crisps. The speed at which their eating them you'd think they hadn't had food for months. The size of their bellies dispels any suggestion this could be true. And why is it always cheese & onion in a public space? It would be less anti-social to open a can of mustard gas and liberally spray the contents around the carriage.

I'm just tilting the laptop round now, the fatty is looking, he's reading the screen. Quick close it before they see. Phew. I'm alright, they've gone back to more crisps, looking at their speed it looks like they have a 24 multi-pack to get through in five minutes flat or they'll be killed. Like a really s**t version of Mission Impossible starring Mr Blobby.

Enough waffle, time for stuff. If ever you watch, mainly American, TV dramas often there's a point in the series where the budget is stretched. Too much money was spent on last week's explosions or getting that amazing guest star, so this week we're forced to have the dreaded "clips" show. Friends did this at least once, and fans of Star Trek: The Next Generation, (if there are none of these on this forum then I have sorely misjudged my audience) will remember the infamous episode "Shades of Gray" This was the one where Riker was forced to relive his past experiences (i.e. clips of old episodes) in order to combat the terrible we've-run-out-of-budget-virus pervading his system. It was so terrible an episode that it caused Picard to pull all his hair out, and Worf to smash his head against a wall so many times that a terrible rash appeared on his forehead that never healed over the remaining five series.

Anyway don't worry this blog, isn't a "clips" blog, it's all new stuff. But in any long term project it's always good to have a look back at where we've come from, how well we're doing, and where we intend to go. This also seems like an opportune moment as the club seems to have a large number of new faces at present – almost exclusively all called Tom. Who are asking me awkward questions, like why is your army Shakeaway themed? Which admittedly even with the back story is odd, so without...,  well god only knows what they must think!

So here's a brief, recap of how this all started. Back in November 2007 I had just got back into Warhammer, after a six or seven year break, and had been painting a Dwarf army. Ready for a new challenge, and seeing a brand new High Elf army book out (the current 7th edition volume), I decided now was the time to collect the High Elves. Something I'd always wanted to do as a teenager but never got round to. Having just painted my Dwarfs with a dark blue colour scheme I didn't want to go for the classic white with deep blue trim for my High Elves. I knew I wanted the white, but what accent colour to use? I toyed with red, but that seemed too aggressive for the High Elves, green maybe (and though I've since seen some amazing green High Elves) but it didn't quite seem right. Yellow then hit me, a nice bright primary colour that wasn't too aggressive for the tone of the High Elves. However yellow and white didn't seem to sit right together, not enough contrast. And that's when I added a blue into the mix, not the dark blue of the Dwarfs but a bright sky blue – both bright and non-aggressive the traits I associated with the High Elves, and sufficiently different from my Dwarfs.

At some point I then realised this colour scheme matched that of my favourite milkshake shop Shakeaway:



Whether this was coincidence or subconscious influence by those cheeky little Shakettes (people who serve Shakeaway milkshakes – I'm not even making that up!) we may never know. But the Shakeaway High Elves were born.

Fast forward to September 2010, my High Elves were sitting unloved in a box under my bed, a reasonably sized army but mainly consisting of core troops with a few Silver Helms and Swordmasters – not really a viable fighting force. My attention had been taken firstly by the Warriors of Chaos and then by the Beastmen. But then two things happened, firstly OG Games organised a the "Tale of OG Gamers",  a group event where people "committed" to painting up 200 points chunks of an army every month (as far as I can recall everyone was very good and stayed with it all the way to the end). And secondly Warhammer 8th edition: Isle of Blood, with the brand new amazing High Elves, hit the shop. And so it was decided I would expand my existing High Elf force 200 points at a time. This started here with the first month's painting:



The exploits of all this can of course be found here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.615

And finally ended with the following 2,000 points:


Problem was, now I was a lot better at painting High Elves than last time (in my opinion at least) adding a few washes for my yellows and flesh colours, and better white technique made the finished results cleaner, crispier and just better. So as time passed I became more and more reluctant to use my original Elves, soon this new army surpassed the original army no longer supplementing, but replacing. And soon the 200 point cap vanished, not only were my new High Elves looking better, but they were becoming quicker to paint (lessons learnt in the Beastmen years) and I was really enjoying both painting them and the amazing new models – Dragon Princes, Phoenix Guard etc.

I interrupt this look back to inform you the fat person with the crisps on the train has now got off, and I've got a seat – even if it is covered in crumbs and as an arse groove the size of Lake Windermere pressed it into it. Probably won't notice though my bum is now very numb from the cold floor!

Fast forward to the present day, May 2012, and my army currently stands at a mighty 7,189 points. Sounds like a good excuse for an army snap, we last did this back in Update 44 But a few more units have popped in since then:











Looks good, even if I do say so myself, it's not quite a legal army if I take everything. But maxed out with magic items, and not worrying about percentage restrictions it breaks down thusly:



Lords: 2,111 points – 29.36%
A - Tyrion (400 points)
B - Alith Anar (245 points)
C - Prince on Star Dragon (638 points)
D - Prince on Griffon (468 points)
E - Archmage (360 points)

Heroes: 979 points – 13.62%
F - Caradryan (175 points)
G - Korhil (140 points)
H - Noble (151 points)
I - Noble (143 points)
J - Mage (185 points)
K - Mage (185 points)

Core: 1,249 points – 17.37%
L - 20 Archers (245 points)
M - 20 Archers (245 points)
N - 50 Spearmen (500 points)
O - 18 Lothern Sea Guard (259 points)

Special: 2,650 points – 36.86%
P - 17 Swordmasters of Hoeth (360 points)
Q - 20 Phoenix Guard (405 points)
R - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
S - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
T - 10 Dragon Princes of Caledor (425 points)
U - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
V - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
W - 6 Shadow Warriors (108 points)
X - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
Y - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)
Z - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)

Rare: 200 points – 2.78%
AA - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AB - Great Eagle (50 points)
AC - Great Eagle (50 points)

Of course, I could always add all the old High Elves I painted, and now it looks like this!!!













I may have had to break the 1" between units rule. And one thing is for certain I am going to need a bigger chest of drawers!

That makes the army a whopping 10,210 points – and breaking that down (with the old units, now added, in red):



Lords: 2,403 points – 23.54%
A - Tyrion (400 points)
B - Alith Anar (245 points)
C - Prince on Star Dragon (638 points)
D - Prince on Griffon (468 points)
E - Prince on Barded Elven Steed (292 points)
F - Archmage (360 points)

Heroes: 1,571 points – 15.39%
G - Caradryan (175 points)
H - Korhil (140 points)
I - Noble, Battle Standard Bearer (206 points)
J - Noble (151 points)
K - Noble (143 points)
L - Mage on Barded Elven Steed (201 points)
M - Mage (185 points)
N - Mage (185 points)
O - Mage (185 points)

Core: 1,883 points – 18.44%
P - 12 Archers (157 points)
Q - 12 Archers (157 points)
R - 20 Archers (245 points)
S - 20 Archers (245 points)
T - 15 Spearmen (160 points)
U - 15 Spearmen (160 points)
V - 50 Spearmen (500 points)
W - 18 Lothern Sea Guard (259 points)

Special: 3,953 points – 38.72%
X - 20 Swordmasters of Hoeth (405 points)
Y - 17 Swordmasters of Hoeth (360 points)
Z - 20 Phoenix Guard (405 points)
AA - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
AB - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
AC - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
AD - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
AE - 10 Dragon Princes of Caledor (425 points)
AF - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
AG - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
AH - 5 Shadow Warriors (85 points)
AI - 6 Shadow Warriors (108 points)
AJ - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
AK - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
AL - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)
AM - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)

Rare: 400 points – 3.92%
AN - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AO - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AP - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AQ - Great Eagle (50 points)
AR - Great Eagle (50 points)

At this point, you'd think I'd be done. There can no more Elves I could possibly want to paint! Well... nearly. Like Peter Stringfellow on a night out, I just can't say no to one more model (or 60!). I would like to point out I don't really expect to field all this in one go, it's now more of a collection, and more of panting project than a viable tabletop army. And to be honest I still really enjoying painting the High Elves.

So what more is there to add, well my mega army box before Christmas, isn't quite empty yet:



There's the Dragon still to do, which I'm doing primarily as a Dragon Mage, though as you saw in Update 59 I have built the Archmage to use on it too. There's also five more Dragon Princes and thirty-two Spearmen left over, now if they hadn't been in the box I wouldn't have bought these, but as I have them it seems a shame not to paint them.

Then I was lucky enough to purchase, off one of the many Tom's (thanks Tom K!!), seven more Swordmasters and Sea Guard. The Sea Guard I've always wanted to add to as eighteen isn't enough to benefit from all those spears, so with those and five I picked up from the new Warhammer Paint Kit that will give me a total of thirty Sea Guard, much more respectable.



The Swormasters will add to my unit of seventeen, I don't know about you but I hate not having square units. Seventeen is horribly prime for my liking so the extra seven will make a much nicer twenty-four, and to be honest I can't miss the opportunity to paint any more of those beautiful Swordmaster models.

Then I wouldn't mind adding a Bolt Thrower, one seems rather poor for a 7,000 point + army, a second Tiranoc Chariot because they look good operating in pairs and then some characters. The two plastic kits that make two heroes and two mages were great fun to paint back when I started the first High Elves so I'm going to have another go – at least this way I'll have a brand new Battle Standard Bearer I'm not ashamed to bring to the fight.

Oh, and then there's a few special characters Teclis, Eltharion and Imrik*. Problem is none of them are in Finecast and I hate metal so not sure what I do. I'm sure Teclis would be ok, simple metal character straight in base, but I'm not sure about assembling Eltharion and Imrik in metal, though that classic Eltharion model from my childhood would be a joy to paint.

* - Imrik technically isn't in the book now but he is fondly remembered, and I do like that model!

Right so that sounds like a lot:
Dragon Mage
32 Spearmen
7 Swordmasters
12 Lothern Sea Guard
5 Dragon Princes
Tiranoc Chariot
Repeater Bolt Thrower
5+ Characters

But a) it's a lot less than I have already painted, and b) The Dragon Mage, Spearmen, Sea Guard, Swordmasters and Dragon Princes are all assembled, undercoated and well on their way to being basecoated. So I reckon we are in the last couple of months of project Shakeaway High Elf. Barring new army book, of course! That would ruin everything, and be fun at the same time – like an extra marital affair I guess.

So there we are, hope that trip wasn't too boring, but as I say nice to see how much is done – and it's giving me a real push for the last batch of 50 or so infantry, nearly, nearly there. Maybe I should arrange sponsorship, it certainly feels like a marathon!

Oh and on the plus side the train has arrived, and no one has stolen my laptop, nor have I had to use a rail replacement bus. Things are looking up indeed!

[Annie]

F*ck me thats big.

[maelzch]

Well, you know what they say about people with big armies...