Tale of OG Gamers - High Elves

[fatolaf]

My Top 5 O&G units from the new book

5) Snotling Pump Wagons - They can now fly, nuff said....

4) Snotlings - They can now stand & shoot, nuff said....

3) Night Goblin Shaman - Now a mushroom eating mini slann, nuff said...

2) Mangler Squigs - Scares the shit out of your opponents, until you tell them to simply park a unit of dogs on top of them...

1) Nasty Skulkers - Killing Blow and WS 2, what more do you need, Nuff said....

[cunningmatt]

Nice work on the flames - often difficult to do well, and particularly on the banner. Awesome models that you're doing a great job on. Looking forward to seeing more.

Cheers mate, nearly finished the flames and reasonably pleased with them myself! Hopefully more will come soon!

My Top 5 O&G units from the new book

5) Snotling Pump Wagons - They can now fly, nuff said....

4) Snotlings - They can now stand & shoot, nuff said....

3) Night Goblin Shaman - Now a mushroom eating mini slann, nuff said...

2) Mangler Squigs - Scares the shit out of your opponents, until you tell them to simply park a unit of dogs on top of them...

1) Nasty Skulkers - Killing Blow and WS 2, what more do you need, Nuff said....

Good choices, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the Mangler Squig model as I reckon they could do nice things with it. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.

Sorry for lack of update this week, nothing's really happened so far... will have to make something up!!

[EvilFuzzyDoom]

My Top 5 O&G units from the new book

5) Snotling Pump Wagons - They can now fly, nuff said....

... WHAT?! 

[cunningmatt]

Thursday 17th March - WEEK 11

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Yes it's everyone's favourite patron saint, plainly and simply because it's an opportunity to have a drink. You're not Irish and you have no idea what Saint Patrick did, but you fancy a drink and it's good excuse that makes you feel like less of an alcoholic!

In fact Saint Patrick was born in Britain, and is probably most famous for bringing Christianity to Ireland and teaching it with aid of a Shamrock – I think it was a prop, rather than some kind of CBBC-style puppet.

Do you feel the need to celebrate Saint George, the Roman solider who went on to slay a dragon? No because there's no drinking involved. How about Saint Andrew who apparently founded the city of Saint Andrew's (slightly narcissistic if you ask me)? No again no drink. Saint David? The Bishop who preached in Wales, who apparently is best known for the miracle that occurred when preaching to a crowd, and those at the back couldn't hear him. So the ground rose up beneath him to give everyone a better view. Also known as the miracle of the O2. Again no, as there's no drink involved. In fact you're more likely to celebrate Saint Nicholas dumping a sack full of presents in your living room than any of the British saints, and only St. Paddy because he let's you have a drink, and presents the ITV1 show Take Me Out. The miracle being it got commissioned! If you agree with this, you're a drunkard and we all like a drunkard.

I on the other hand have more sophisticated drinking tastes, and prefer the refined nature of a Shakeaway, which brings us neatly onto the topic of our Spot the Paint Cap Competition where you could win the highly exciting Shakeaway voucher:



I say could win, it's now closed so you can't win if you haven't entered. All you had to do was guess in which square, from the picture below you thought the Paint Cap was "digitally removed" from:



Well we had a host of entries (well four), so thank you very much, but I can reveal the square that the Paint Cap was mostly in (see the small print before you nitpick!), was square C2:



Where you can see it resting on the base of my daylight lamp, the little difficult to catch rascal!

Plotting all your answers on the grid, like Peter Snow, we can see that whilst no one was bang on the money, Ol was clearly the closest.



So I hereby declare Ol the winner! You'll soon be the envy of all your friends with this Shakeaway voucher, to the losers I'm afraid you leave with nothing – not even your dignity, as you lost that by getting involved in this utter madness!

Last week I promised you I would have finished February's (cough, cough) task of the Phoenix Guard... well... errr... they're really, nearly finished, basically I need to flock them and tidy up the banner. But I haven't had time, shockingly I've actually had other things going on in my life – I know it's deeply unexpected and no one is more surprised than myself!

Next week I promise that there'll be a flurry of freshly painted models, and if you believe that you're a fool as I've just admitted to breaking a previous promise to you.

Warning tangential change of topic approaching:

Charity begins at home, or so they say - hence I've nearly bought myself a nice new computer to sit in my home and look lovely. Why do I mention this? Well tomorrow is of course the biennial (meaning occurring every two years as opposed to biannual which means occurring twice yearly - I had to look this up and thought you might enjoy the factoid) fund-raising extravaganza that is Red Nose Day (that's the name of the day, Comic Relief is the organisation responsible for it - again another factoid you might like).

Now you probably think I'm going to moan about Red Nose Day, but I'm not, instead I'm going to moan about the people who moan about Red Nose Day. You see there's a selection of divides on opinions towards Red Nose Day (and similar charity telethons), and they broadly breakdown as follows:

The people who love it! These people fully get behind having sponsored leg waxings (generally it's hard for women to get sponsorship for this, it's a bit like men having sponsored use deodorant days), sponsored silences, cake sales and all kinds of activities every year and then present the raised money in an excessively large cheque* for no real reason. I myself have once been in this category having been "custard pied" for Sport Relief – my life is surprisingly odd.

*Perhaps the cheque represents the scale your bank statements would be sent to you in if you followed up their offer to have a large print service. Though given this offer is almost always written in the small print I can't imagine anyone ever takes it up.

The people who are reasonably supportive. You'll pop a pound in a box, wear a Red Nose – for five minutes, and probably watch and enjoy at least some of the surrounding televisual events. Speaking of which can I recommend 24 Hour Panel People on BBC Three? (check it out on iPlayer) where David Walliams (who can't spell William) competed in a non-stop(ish) 24-hour marathon of well loved panel shows, and Celebrity Juice. This is the typical category I would fall in, I'll donate some money – mainly so I don't feel guilty about going to make a sandwich during all the depressing VTs about famine. And I may even buy some Red Nose Day products such as these Muller Crunch Corners I purchased this year:



By spending £2.50 on this pack 10 pence went to Comic Relief, obviously I could have donated the full £2.50 but then I wouldn't have got any yoghurts. And I would have missed out on the cool one with red balls in, in honour of Red Nose Day – which actually tastes disgusting.

The people who enjoy but don't donate. You know who you are, you're like the people who have a drink on Saint Patrick's Day but don't know anything about Saint Patrick. You are enjoying the show, which people are appearing on for free (much like I am writing this Comic Relief blog without accepting a fee, more because no one's offering one though, rather than for any charitable reasons!), when you don't really deserve to. It's a bit like watching the Signing Zone when you're not deaf, you're kind of cheating. You shouldn't go and make a cheese sandwich during the VTs you should sit there and be shamed by the starving children! Look at those sad lonely eyes, you are cheating them of at least 50 pence.

The people who don't care and don't get involved. You have no time for Comic Relief, you're not interested, you do you're best to avoid it and probably donate to other charities. I have no problem with you, the people I have a problem with are...

The people who actively hate the thing. These are the people who won't donate, which is fine, but who actively moan about it's existence. Judging the whole event as a TV show that's rubbish, Children in Need always tends to be a victim of this as people moan about things like the fact "that the newsreaders did stupid things". Well, yes they did, but they did it knowing it was stupid in the hope some people might donate some money because they've done it. And actually a lot of people who watch these things do donate money. And I think whichever of the above groups you fall into, you have to agree that the raising of money for these causes is a good thing (though one of my friends does think that the TV show is good, but the charity isn't – but I suspect he's missing the point). If you don't like it don't watch, but don't moan about other people trying to do something to make the world a little bit better. The Red Nose Day event is hardly enforced upon you, the same can be said of all TV, as TV is the easiest media to escape – you simply push the "Off" button, or change channel. Unlike all other types of media: computer games, DVDs, books, magazines etc. you've not paid for that programme specifically so you've not wasted any money. All you had to do was push one button the remote.

So if you don't like Comic Relief that's fine, I don't mind, if you don't donate fine, I don't mind. But don't criticise the thing for actually raising millions of pounds to help people, because you've missed the point. It's like the NHS you can maybe moan about the standard of care and waiting lists, but you wouldn't moan about it's actual functioning of saving lives. Would you?

Having had a little rant about people who hate Red Nose Day it would be remiss of me to point out that if you'd like to donate some money and have a few pennies to spare you can do at www.rednoseday.com. You don't have to, and I won't judge you if you don't, but don't judge me if I do.

Oh dear I've gone all serious, and made an intellectual point – quick think of something daft to say. Oh I know, maybe I should hold a charity telethon for my Black Isle campaign army. I'm still languishing second from bottom despite stealing a fistful of gold. Go on if you donate some money Beastlord Clegg might shave his legs or Bray Shaman Cameron will wear a red nose. Ok fair enough this is the kind of telethon you can hate, it's clearly isn't the good cause Comic Relief is.

I think that's a good place to leave it, apologies that this is slightly shorter blog than normal (you're probably relieved), but I'm off to sit in a bath tub full of baked beans whilst reading next month's White Dwarf which has arrived today...

Which seems early, controversially early some might say, but then February was a long month it must have confused things. And it's all about Warhammer 40,000 anyway so I have no idea what's happening!



Next week will definitely see some painting... probably.

[cunningmatt]

... WHAT?! 

Pump Wagons can be fitted with "Flappas" as upgrades which are crude wings allowing the Pump Wagon to make short bursts of flight and bounces - meaning they don't take Dangerous Terrain test unless they end their move in the terrain.

[Veldemere]

By almost completely managing to avoid almost any mention of warhammer or painting (showing the cover of WD hardly counts) I feel this plog is transcending itself and almost becoming Matts Mein Kampf (without him being a nasty little man) or Red Book (without him being a nasty little man) this is a secular treatiste on life and as such I urge you all to fill in the religion section of your census with the term Secular Cunningmattist, I shall be setting up a church which you can all be members of, all I require is 10% of all monies you earn, that is cheaper than some Messirs Cruise and Travolta!!

Good efforts matt, even though I feel cheated out of a shakeaway.

[cunningmatt]

By almost completely managing to avoid almost any mention of warhammer or painting (showing the cover of WD hardly counts)

I think you'll find I showed a picture of my painting table, and mentioned a charity collection for my Black Isle armies, how much Warhammer do you want?!

I shall be setting up a church which you can all be members of, all I require is 10% of all monies you earn, that is cheaper than some Messirs Cruise and Travolta!!

I'm not sure whether to be flattered or concerned, probably concerned, though for reference I am a "nasty little man"!

Good efforts matt, even though I feel cheated out of a shakeaway.

How exactly do you feel cheated? You lost! 

[Veldemere]

I think you'll find I showed a picture of my painting table, and mentioned a charity collection for my Black Isle armies, how much Warhammer do you want?!

I wasn't complaining, more commenting

I'm not sure whether to be flattered or concerned, probably concerned, though for reference I am a "nasty little man"!

I am sure L Ron Hubbard said much the same things

How exactly do you feel cheated? You lost! 

But the winner didn't win  I am a very bitter person 

[cunningmatt]

I wasn't complaining, more commenting

Fair point! But there's always next week for some Warhammer action!

I am sure L Ron Hubbard said much the same things

I've modellend my life on him... no I haven't that is in fact a lie.

But the winner didn't win  I am a very bitter person 

He won more than you! 

[noahtonkin]

St Patrick- Romano-british monk who got kidnapped by irish raiders, brought back as a slave to ireland, and then somehow managed to convert the entire ireland to his religion.

The reason for the stupid amount of drinking is actually very simple. St patricks day falls in lent, during lent you're supposed to give up rich food, booze and all maner of other worldly comforts. Have you ever seen what happens to an irish man when he goes a month without beer? (see family guy http://www.whoomp.com/funny-videos/family-guy-museum-of-irish-roots.html)

I do find the wanton gluttony of st patrick's day especially amusing.
He was himself a bit of an apocolyptic- he believed the world was about to end, not in the least due to mankinds exesses of drinking and debauchery. That his saint's day is now used as an excuse for everyone to claim some slim irish heritage, get paralytically drunk on guiness (which they wouldn't touch most of the year because it tastes like burning) and generally make a nuicence of them selves gives me satisfaction that he must be squirming in his grave!
How I love organised religion for so often becoming distracted from the point at hand.
On that note I think secular cunningmattists have a perfectly legitamite reason to be considered not only a recognised religion, but in fact, the most appropriate religion, as their founder's doctrines are based solely on going off topic!

Right, yearly religious rant over, must stop before I end up getting into philosophical arguments about the nature of the christian pantheon, its connections with other religions, perversion of previous sacred deity iconography etc.

(can you tell I did religions studies at a level?)