Procrastination by Numbers

[Steve H]

Dam I've been ousted in the equivalent of a cabinet reshuffle!

You basically are Jack Straw...

Sad but true!

[cunningmatt]

You basically are Jack Straw...

Sad but true!

So I'm partially responsible for the collapse of the British economy? Probably from spending the national gold reserves on High Elf models!

[roland murat]

Which explains alot about defence policy

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 122 Triumph, Treachery and Being a Tit Wednesday 4th June 2014



122.1 More Rules To Learn

So the weekend before last I took to the battlefield in the multiplayer madness that is Triumph and Treachery. For those of you who don't know how it works you're in the same boat as me. Not a clue. But whatever was going on I did seem to enjoy it. Bit like sex really.



Now we weren't just playing for fun, oh no fun was the last thing on our minds. This was important research (though sadly we weren't paid) for our upcoming Lustria campaign penned by Pip the resident club campaign guru (try saying that after a full sized Ol-tab at the bar - awww his memory lives on).

For those of you who don't how it works basically you have five players on the board at once. Which essentially means that the table is cluttered with 150% more models, dice, army books, pints of beer, tape measures, cards, bags of sweets and templates. Finding a space to deploy in becomes like finding a car parking spot on Oxford Street on a Saturday morning before Christmas, when you are driving a stretch limo with a hen party hanging out the back.

If this wasn't enough clutter you get two more sets of cards and an extra set of tokens just to ensure that any flock-based green belt land is completely covered by your gameplay sprawl. One  set of cards determines the order of play. If your card is drawn it's your go, but rather than a massive bun fight, each phase you must nominate an enemy to face your wrath. So in the Movement phase who are you going to charge? In the Magic phase who are you going to blast to piece with spells? In the Shooting phase who are you going to miss with all your arrows? In the Combat phase who are you going to break from, in what I like to call a strategic retreat? And in the Drinking phase who are you going to plead longingly at in the hope they buy you a pint? It's an important tactical decision as you weigh up which targets are your priorities and who is least likely to require a reciprocal pint.

The second set of cards contain some nefarious cards that you can use to influence the battle at critical moments. Playing the Sabotage card allows you to prevent a war machine firing, playing the Ancient Alliance card allows you to force your opponent to select another target that phase and playing the Immigration card allows you to win the European Parliamentary elections despite all sense of reason. There's nothing that beats the excitement of watching your opponent line up all their units to open fire upon you in the Shooting Phase, only to play the card that forces your opponent to select a different target (sorry Pip). Although it is deeply infuriating when they play it back.



Lastly you are presented with a pile of counters, which are used to score up your victory points.
Scoring them as you go is important as you might need to spend them to bribe the enemy, pay to use some of the more useful trickster cards or pay for !@%$#%@ from behind the bar. Strangely the coins, all of different shapes, don't have their value printed on them. So you are forced to fondle through them, asking everyone how much each coin is worth, like your trying to buy lunch in a foreign country using exact change. Still on the plus side no values printed on the coins means you can assign them whatever value you wish. Perhaps unsurprisingly I didn't have much call for the 1,500 Victory Point token though we could have easily done with more 50 Victory Point ones.

122.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 0

As I mentioned our game was a prelude to the upcoming Lustria campaign, as they used to say on Dead Ringers "more on that story later", by later I mean another time. But it gave us an opportunity to try out our forces.

On my table was Pip and his Lizardmen army, Tom C's newly purchased Bretonnians, Tom U's Dark Elves and Sam's Warriors of Chaos. I used this opportunity to deploy some newly painted High Elves that hadn't yet seen battle (in fact many haven't seen this blog - sorry I will rectify this soon). My army consisted of a Loremaster of Hoeth, leading his Swordmaster breathren. A large unit of Lothern Sea Guard, accompanied by my newly painted Lothern Skycutter (with Eagle Claw Bolt Thrower of course), and a Flamespyre Phoenix to finish off. Well why not? Yes it's the flamey one. Yes I know the frosty one is better. But Phoenix should be flamey really, so my first one had to be! Plus I hired a group of mercenaries 11 Troll Slayers led by a Dragon Slayer.





I deployed with Lizardmen to my left and Dark Elves to my right, with the Bretonnians and Warriors of Chaos on the far board edge.



The Lizardmen immediately took a dislike to my Phoenix and Troll Slayers. The Cold One Knights attempting a long charge on the Phoenix, which they failed. And the Skinks and Stegadons lining up to pepper my army with missile fire. Fortunately I was able to play a Treachery card forcing the Lizardmen to choose another target.



My Loremaster and his Swordmasters headed immediately towards the centre of the board. There were bonus victory points available for whoever claimed the centre square at the end of each turn in this scenario. And I made an attempt to claim them.



My main other move was overflying a unit of Skinks with my Phoenix incinerating half of them.



Elsewhere the Warriors of Chaos got off to a bad start with a Khorne chariot being unable to restrain itself, attempting to charge through a wood and being utterly destroyed.

The Skinks managed to get their blow pipes to work this turn, felling a number of Slayers and taking a couple of wounds off the Phoenix. It's 4+ Ward Save preventing it from taking more punishment.



Elsewhere the Dark Elves and Bretonnians launch a coordinated attack on the Warriors destroying the majority of their army.





Spotting my opportunity my Loremaster used Searing Doom to crush the Bretonnian Lord on Pegasus who came near him. Overconfident he then tried to protect his unit with Earth Blood but miscast killing nearly half the Swordmasters!



The Bretonnians then got their revenge by using one of the Lustria based terrain to quicksand the Loremaster and a handful more Swordmasters. In the interest of brevity (something I'm sure you don't think I know about), I'll save a more detailed discussion on Lustrian terrain for another day – suffice us to say my initial thoughts are it is annoying!

Meanwhile in a desperate bid to try and reclaim some troops the Chaos Lord drinks from the Chalice of Chaos in the hopes of attaining Deamonhood – sadly for him he is just killed, with the death of the rest of the army, the Warriors are taken out of the game.

Making an uneasy alliance with the Dark Elves to my left, I concentrate my forces on the Lizardmen. The remaining Dragon Slayer and Giant Slayer throw themselves at the Stegadon in the hopes of finding a worthy opponent. But sadly couldn't score a single wound, and the Giant Slayer was stomped for his trouble. The Phoenix charges into the Cold One Knights, only for a really low Winds of Magic result to reduce his Strength to 4. It was at this point I discover a Flamespyre Phoneix only has 3 Attacks. 3 Attacks!!! For Flipping Nora's bloody sake, a Great Eagle has 2! Unsurprisingly the Phoenix is hacked to bits, though as the last act of the turn I manage to rebirth it immediately on its original set of wounds!! Whatever anyone says about Flamespyre Phoenix being worse than their frozen cousins, the look on Pip's face was definitely worth it!!

In my next turn the Skycutter got a sneaky flank shot off against the Knights Errant panicking them off the board for extra victory points.



The Dragon Slayer finally got squashed. And my Phoenix failed a charge against a unit of Skinks allowing it to be charged in the rear by another Stegadon.



The Cold Ones charge the Lothern Sea Guard in the rear, the majority are massacred but the rest flee. The Dark Elves then break the alliance, Dark Riders charging the fleeing Lothern Sea Guard forcing them to run to the centre of the board. Meanwhile the Warlocks charge the Skycutter in the flank culling it and overrunning into the Swordmasters flank.

The final turn sees the Swordmasters crushed by the Warlocks, the rallied Sea Guard stomped by a Stegadon and the second Stegadon crushing the Phoenix. My last roll of the game is to revive my Phoenix, but instead it dies for good.





After totting up the victory points the Dark Elves had done the best massacring the Warriors and letting the rest of us fight amongst ourselves before picking off stragglers. Typical Dark Elf strategy.

All in all an enjoyable game, thanks to my many opponents for putting up with me essentially. It's definitely tough knowing how to defend yourself against a number of players, but the Treachery cards do add some fun!! I look forward to getting embroiled in the campaign more.

122.3 Get In Touch

Hopefully more on that next time. Until then be sure to follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers, you can always unfollow me later as I'll never know!

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 123 Lustrian Summer Tuesday 10th June 2014



123.1 Return to Port Cadavo

As mentioned in the last update, Lustria beckons, well where else would you spend a hot summer other than in the humid foliage of a dense jungle? Beats a week in Benidorm anyhow.

Pip, our campaign host with the most, has put together another wonderful Lustira Campaign, more of which you can see here. http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3850.0

To give a little flavour to those who can't be bothered to read the whole thread, here's the introductory story, copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure (all rights rightfully attributed to Pip, please don't sue me – thank you very much).

Tales are still told in the Old World of the legendary El Cadavo - adventurer, pirate, gentleman. For the children of his native Estalia, the favourite stories by far are those of his three voyages to Lustria, and the lost cities full of fabulous treasures he found there. Few parents care to finish the story of the third voyage - how the mighty El Cadavo returned from the jungle a broken man, and poured his last pennies away drinking himself to death in a dockside hovel. How not one of the men who had gone with him returned from the steaming rainforest alive.

Now, however, the name of El Cadavo has gained a new cachet - for a cartographer in Marienburg claimed recently to have unearthed one of the pirate lord's maps. Naturally, within the week there were a hundred "copies" circulating through the port city's back streets. Within a month, the rumours have spread to Erengrad and L'Anguille, and men in those cities who have never been to Marienburg are selling "bonafide originals" for a schilling a go.

Spurred by greed and the glitter of gold, ships set sail from up and down the Old World for the Lustrian shore. They will find the lost gold of El Cadavo, and return as rich as kings - or they will die in the jungle and be forgotten to the world.

Probably the latter.

So to take part in the campaign, I needed two forces: a motley band of skirmishers known as my Regiment of Renown, and a general who would lead larger forces in battle. Feeling the lure of my Elven milkshake blood again, I plumped for this arrogant band of white robbed pointy ears:



Of course, me being me, I would need to write some clinically insane fluff, so here goes:

They are the Elves of the Citadel of Dusk, the guardians of the cape of Lustria. Protecting shipping as it passes below the great continent.

The Citadel of Dusk is one of the most remote outposts of the Elven territories. One of the few colonies remaining from a bygone age of the Elven Empire. Distance from Ulthuan has allowed the Citadel to develop its own culture, its own values and its own ways. Whilst these remain broadly in line with the traditions of all Elves, often new developments of Ulthuan are met with suspicion on the Citadel of Dusk. Just as few Elves of the Citadel had a profile on AsurBook, none of the Citadel's members had watched the new series of Game of Thrones on Phoenixflix. So when news from Ulthuan arrived that the courts of Lothern had ordered operation Yew Helm – the Citadel of Dusk was aghast.

The Swordmasters of Hoeth unending hunt for the hidden cult of pleasure and the followers of Slaanesh, would turn its attentions to some of the greatest children's entertainers of the empire days. Operation Yew Helm would leave no stone unturned as it strove to find out if these entertainment performances contained dark rites towards the heathen god of pleasure.

The Citadel of Dusk was known as a retirement home for the children's entertainers of the day, the palaces overlooking Jungle lands providing a colourful reminder of their past lives. The children's entertainers knew their innocence, but how could they prove it? Fearful of the ships that had been undoubtedly dispatched from Ulthuan, they knew they had to act. Forming a council they debated for many days, unsure of how to proceed until one of their number stood forward. Soot ridden, a member of the elite Phoenix Guard step forward. He could not speak due to his vow, but whispered in the ears of all the other members what they must do. They must journey to the Lustrian city of El Cadavo, there they would find the sacred plaques created by the Old Ones that depicted the comic works on which their routines were based. Here they could prove the truth of their innocence. And so a band of High Elves from many disciplines set forth into the Lustrian jungle determined to prove their history, their innocence and their place in Ulthuan culture.

Meanwhile on the churning seas of The Great Ocean a fleet of Elven Dragonships ploughed through their waves. A top the bridge Loremaster Dibble looked out across the rolling water. In the distance he could see a speck of land appear on the horizon, which he knew from experience all too soon would rise up to form the mighty jungle clad coastline of Lustria. He pondered his orders to bring to justic those entertainers who had settled in the Citadel of Dusk. But Loremaster Dibble was not a rash man; he wished to get to the truth behind those he pursued, and so knew the sacred plaques of those the lizard creatures worshipped would be the only way to know for certain. Though Loremaster Dibble found his focus drawn, a number of Troll Slayers were on deck vomiting up the vast quantities of beer they'd consumed over the side of the ship. Ever since they'd come across the wreck of that Ironclad, he'd been unsure whether it had been wise to rescue the Dwarfs or not. He could feel the unease amongst the crew even at the small number of their ancient adversary present on the ship. It wasn't even as if the Dwarfs had been that grateful for being rescued. Mainly complaining that the flimsy wooden ship wasn't up to Dwarf standards - apparently pointing out that it was the Dwarf vessel that had sunk and not Loremaster Dibble's Dragonship, hadn't made matters better. Still the Dwarfs had just about conceded that they hated the sea more than they hated the Elves, and it was just about better to have been rescued than to have drowned. Still Loremaster Dibble reasoned the Dwarfs would be good fighters, even if their manners left much to be desired.

And so it was two Elven commanders rivals due to the courts of Lothern, embarked on the same mission, neither sure of what they would do should they meet the other.

Followed that? No me neither. But in case you did here are the characters you will be forced to read about for the next few months. You must read this blog, you must, it is the law. To keep you in the loop three characters have a bonus special ability picked from a supplied list, and Soot ridden my General gets 20 points of free magic items and an extra wound.



Spearmen, with spear, light armour and shield. (bonus rule: Armour Piercing) – 9 points

Spearman Pat and her black and white feline pelt were famed for their delivery important messages around Avelorn Dale in the heart of Ulthuan. Spearmen Pat forced messages through the windows of the recipient on the end of her long spear. Whilst traditionally the spear is only good for regimental fighting Spearmen Pat's ability to post messages through the smallest of openings has given her the ability to penetrate through the slightest weakness in her opponent's armour, exploiting the weak spots in those who refuse to use the postcode system properly.



Silver Helm with lance, heavy armour, shield and ridding barded Elven steed. – 23 points

The White Knight as he was originally known became renown for using off-white fabrics a brave fashion statement for those on the island of Ulthuan. Forever known as the Whiteish Knight, or sometimes the Creamy-Beigey Knight, he delivered vengeance to his foes, stood up for the weak and generally missed with all his attacks on the charge - well he is a Silver Helm still.

Incidentally if you don't remember The Whitish Knight, you clearly didn't watch enough of the excellent Maid Marian and her Merry Men. Sadly the only part of the relevant episode I can find is in German, so this may not help:

Lothern Sea Guard with spear, light armour and shield. (but no bow – dropped due to limits on ranged weapons in campaign!) – 11 points

Captain Pugwash was an important member of the Lothern Sea Guard. He sailed the seven seas fighting in relatively low risk, cartoon raids in a family friendly way. Driven to retirement by the constant Seaman jokes made to him by others, he took up residency in the Citadel of Dusk.



White Lion with great weapon, heavy armour and lion pelt. (Bonus rule: Stomp) - 13 points

Pat Sharp Knee the White Lion was a ferocious fighter known for his skills with the axe, and appallingly  long hairstyle. His twin White Lions Melanie and Martina always liked coming round to his house because it was such fun. He was equipped with the all-important Spiky Kneepads which allowed him to survive the ridiculously high speed Fun House White Lion Chariot Grand Prix. Plus he could use them to give a swift knee to any misbehaving kids.



Shadow Warrior with light armour and longbow. (Bonus Rule: 5+ Regeneration) – 14 points

The Phoenix Flan Flinger - the black cloaked menace of Nagarthye fought an ongoing war against the Dark Elves even in times of relative peace. He would hunt them down ensuring they met a terrible fate. The bodies of the Dark Elves would be smothered in a vile foam, which angered the Druchii by staining their black robes the white colour of the High Elves. No one knows the true identity of the Phoenix Flan Flinger, though some whisper his name is Dave Benson-Phillips and that he is determined to Get Your Own Back on all the Dark Elves. His dashing black cloak is said to protect the Phoenix Flan Flinger from all kinds of wounds and from the thickest of gunges.



Phoenix Guard with halberd and heavy armour. Also carries a Potion of Strength. – 15 points

Having taken a vow of silence upon entering the Shrine of Asuryan, Soot ridden (known as Sooty to his friends), the Phoenix Guard communicates by whispering in the ears of his friends. He is rumoured to be able to walk with the Phoenix by using his magic water pistol to control them. Should he drink from the water pistol, he can temporarily boost his own Strength.



Sister of Avelorn with Bow of Avelorn and light armour. – 14 points

Yvette Field Ranger guarded the Avelorn woodlands from rampaging monsters with her magical bow made of sticky back plastic. After receiving her Blue Avelorn Badge from the Everqueen she started fighting the Undead. Accompanied by her ally Tyrion Acorah they found dead people wherever they looked, screaming all the way!

Total 99 Points

Lastly I had to select a general for my main army, within the rules that I could not go over 300 points and I couldn't have a magic user greater than Level 2.



Loremaster Dibble of Hoeth with Armour of Caledor and a Potion of Toughness. – 300 points

Loremaster Dibble has been an experienced hunter of children's entertainers since long before Operation Yew Helm begun. Famously chasing Top Elf and his gang through the rubbish tip of Lothern. He is determined to discover the truth behind Soot Ridden and his followers.

123.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 1 – Game 1

So there's my army, but what's an army without battles? Peaceful, used for defence purposes? Not it's boring that's what it is. So in the interests of fun I took on Sam's Warriors of Chaos in two skirmishes between our Regiments of Renown (hence no Loremaster).

First up we played the scenario entitled "Where Are We?", where both parties have got lost in the Lustrian jungle, when they stumble across each other on what they believe to be a jungle path. The two must fight each other and escape along their path. A point is scored for each kill, and for each model that leaves the opponent's board edge. Sam's Warriors consisted of a Chosen of Khorne along with a pack of 7 Chaos Hounds.

After days trudging through the jungle the band of warriors from the Citadel of Dusk were yet to find anything in the Lustria undergrowth. Then Soot-ridden whispering in the ear of his men, says he's discovered what he thinks is a path through to the ancient artefacts they had been searching for. Ahead of them they find their route blocked by a Chaos Champion and his pack of Hounds.



With the Hounds closing in Sister Yvette and Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger fire a volley of shots at the advancing Hounds, but through they are unable to get a clean shot through the dense foliage.



Before they know it, it's too late as the Hounds are upon them. Spearmen Pat flees the Hounds shouting something about bad memories from her days in the Post Office. Two Chaos Hounds reach White Lion Pat Sharp Knee, a further two hit Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden and one Hound with Impact Hits collides with Sea Guard Pugwash. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee easily dispatches one of the Hounds sending the other fleeing from the board, with Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden repeating the feat (although his second Hound doesn't reach the table edge. Sea Guard Pugwash and the remaining Hound fail to wound each other.





The Chosen drinks from his Chalice of Chaos, gaining a 5+ Ward Save until the beginning of the next turn. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee charges a third Chaos Hound and Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden charges the Hound who earlier fled from him, sending him scampering further away.
Sister Yvette and Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger open fire on the Chosen but are again unable to hit their targets. The two ongoing combats featuring White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Sea Guard Pugwash each fighting a Hound both ended with no wounds scored. In the Chaos turn the remaining Chaos Hound rallies, and both White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Sea Guard Pugwash kill their respective Chaos Hounds.



Phoenix Guard Soot ridden drank his Potion of Strength, him and The Whiteish Silver Helm charge the Chosen each doing a wound and killing the Chaos leader. In an effort to gain revenge, the last remaining Hound charges the Whiteish Silver Helm, the Knight fails to wound but the Elven Steed tramples the Hound. With the entire Chaos army dead or having fled the board, Soot-ridden was able to lead his band off the table.

Well that couldn't really have gone better Sam's entire army dead or routed for not a single loss. No you are not dreaming I have actually achieved that – something about monkeys and typewriters and if you play enough games of Warhammer springs to mind!

123.3 Return to Port Cadavo Round 1 – Game 2

Second game was entitled "Treasure Hunt", also against Sam's same list trying to get hold of three treasure tokens placed in the centre of the board.

After dusting themselves down Soot-ridden's Elves carried on trudging, they reached a spot on the map that indicated ancient relics would be present in the jungle. Perhaps the sacred plaques they required, they couldn't be sure. But then..., perhaps it was the jungle heat..., but the Elves saw another Chosen with a pack of Chaos Hounds opposing them.



The Chaos side advances with a Chaos Hound claiming the first treasure token. In response the White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Phoenix Guard Soot ridden claim the remaining treasure tokens. Sister Yvette takes a pot shot at one of the Chaos Hounds but misses.



The Chaos skirmishers charge in. One Hound rips apart Spearmen Pat frothing at the mouth it overruns into Sister Yvette. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee misses his Chaos Hound only for it to rip his throat out. Phoenix Guard Soot ridden and the Chosen each exchange a wound.



Phoenix Guard Soot ridden drinks from his Potion of Strength, while the Chosen drinks from his Chalice of Chaos – giving him a chance of Daemonhood. However the Chosen fails his leadership test and devolves into a hideous pile of Chaos Spawn. Sea Guard Pugwash charges a Chaos Hound, while a Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger shoots at a Chaos Hound but fails to Wound. Sister Yvette manages to kill the Chaos Hound threatening her, while Sea Guard Pugwash kills his Chaos Hound overrunning into another. Phoenix Guard Soot ridden with his mighty strength inflicts a wound on the Chaos Spawn, which due to poor rolling fails to score a wound in return. The remaining Chaos Hounds manage to wound Phoenix Guard Soot ridden, but his ward save protects him. Despite using the Spawn's leadership of 10 the two Chaos Hounds both flee the combat.



The fleeing Chaos Hounds now rally, but they are unable to come to the rescue of their now-Spawn master, as despite his now diminished Strength, Phoenix Guard Soot ridden manages to take the final wound of the Chaos Spawn. Sea Guard Pugwash kills a Chaos Hound forcing his fellow to flee. In response two Chaos Hounds charge Phoenix Guard Soot ridden, one is killed and the other flees the board. At this point the two remaining Chaos Hounds are fleeing and all the treasure tokens remain in Elven hands.



Phoenix Guard Soot ridden examined the artefacts, wiping the splattered remains of several Chaos Hounds from them. But it was quickly clear these weren't the treasure he needed. Splattering a custard pie over each of them, he continued his long journey deep into the Lustrian jungle.

Unbelievably I find myself in the position of having won two games out of two in this campaign, can I quit now? This means I am joint top of the leader board with the full 450 gold (200 for showing up, 200 for best result being a win, and 50 points for playing a new opponent). Additionally I gained myself +1 Movement for Soot-ridden, after rolling on the attributes table – I think I could have got more useful results but there we go!!

123.4 Get In Touch

On that winning streak I shall say goodbye. I definitely intend to return soon with some photos of newly painted models!! Remember Twitter you can find me @ProbyNumbers, say hello! And as always your comments and opinions are welcomed here. Even if you've not been on the forum before, sign up and say hi. We don't bite, well except Steve but we'll muzzle him first.

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 124 Glutton for Punishment Wednesday 18th June 2014



124.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 1

Lurking around the forum in unheard of places that we never like to go, a new seed has been sewn and from it tiny roots have sprung. Roots that must be nurtured and cared for if they are to grow and flourish into a beautiful flower.

What is this strange and twisted metaphor talking about? It is of course the return of The Tale of OG Gamers. Many years ago, when I was still bitter and single and using so much hair gel that Greenpeace kept protesting around my sink every time I washed my hair I completed a Tale of OG Gamers. In fact indirectly it was this Tale of OG Gamers that caused the birth of this very blog. Yet despite this clear and present warning from history the organisers of this forum have decided to organise another - the fools.

For those of you unaware what the Tale of OG Gamers is, basically where a group of gamers get together and over the coming months agree to paint an army and keep us updated on its progress. And then get bored and give up. No hopefully not, in fact I'd go as far as saying I urge to sign up if you haven't yet by heading to this very link: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3899.0

I completed my 2,000 point High Elf army back in June 2011 to much (well some) acclaim.



To rather less acclaim I failed to complete my second Tale of OG Gamers - Ultramarines last year (June 2013). It turns out that even I, lover of painting all things blue: Dwarfs, High Elves, Tzeentch Warriors got bored when it came to the Ultramarines, see Update 104



That said they are getting there and will be finished one day.

So what are the rules of Tale of OG Gamers? I hear you sigh. Well first up no one mentions Tale of OG Gamers, which I've clearly already broken. Second rule there are no rules to Tale of OG Gamers, you can paint whatever you want from whatever games system you want however you like. I've committed myself to painting one Dark Elf shoe between now and Christmas. It's going to be tough.

Obviously I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to finish my Ultramarines. That would be way too sensible. Instead I'm going to use this as an opportunity to finish off my Warriors of Chaos.



My one reader, hi mum, may indeed recall this is one of my Gaming New Year's resolutions. See there is method to my madness. Well so the countless psychiatric assessments have told me. So my mission over the remainder of 2014 is to finish off my Warriors of Chaos army and keep you updated every week/fortnight/month/when I feel like it* (delete as applicable). How will I manage to string out enough content to keep you updated every week? Well I managed to use nine paragraphs just to tell you I'm joining and completing a Warriors of Chaos army. Something you could have found out by reading the sign up page. See I'm a master of it!

124.2 High Elf Painting Corner

From one new project to an old one that just won't die. I've been promising you some pictures of my latest additions to the vast High Elf army of the Shakeaway clan! So here's what I've added over the last few months since last blogging.



124.3 Flamespyre Phoenix

First up taking centre stage is my much talked about Flamespyre Phoenix. Yes it's the flaming one, but really that's how a Phoenix should look.















I previously mentioned in Update 110 how I assembled the Phoenix. Magnetising the Anointed of Asuryan's chair and the non-chair option. Which for my first attempt at magnetising I thought went well.



I also mentioned that I removed some of the flames at the base of the rider's seat. The idea being he will be interchangeable with the Frostheart Phoenix I inevitably end up getting. Meaning I can use the parts in that kit to make up Caradryan on Phoenix and the Anointed of Asuryan on foot. If I'd left the flames there I'd obviously have to paint them the colour of the appropriate Phoenix betraying his original owner!



I also magnetised the Phoenix to his base. This method proved a bit controversial as I recommended it to someone on Twitter, who copied it. And then they later put out a Tweet for a different method!

I've essentially cut the Phoenix flying stand at the widest part of the ball on the stand. The Citadel Razor Saw (if they still make it) is good for this! Then I've filled the whole on the underside of the Phoenix with green stuff. And glued a magnet to each side.





The underside of the Phoenix shields the magnets from view, from all but the most fastidious of inspections - don't invite your hobby mother-in-law around. Because the Phoenix is intrinsically top heavy, I found two magnets wasn't enough to hold the Phoenix on its stand. However using my Physics knowledge I concluded that sandwiching extra magnets between the two will increase the magnetic field strength. Currently I've got four holding the Phoenix in place, and although it is a little bit wobbly it is usable for my display and occasionally playing purposes. I reckon adding a couple more magnets might help, but I ran out after heavily magnetising my Predator (more on that another time).

Obviously if you do fancy copying this method I should stress it is a little bit wobbly. But for me it is the least-worst option. It can be easily disassembled for transport to the club and whilst occasionally the Phoenix does plunge from his perch, no damage is done, and it's easily reattached. If the Phoenix fell over with a rigid base then I'm quite sure some part of it would break!

Below is of course the obligatory painting guide, if you want to know how I got those flames so orange - lots of layers basically (sorry lazy types). Obviously this is mainly for my benefit when I want to remember how I achieved a particular colour. But do keep scrolling if you're not interested, as there are more Elves to come!!

124.4 Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide

Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 1



Base: Steel Legion Drab
Ruins: Calthan Brown
Orange Feathers: Macharius Solar Orange
Yellow Feathers: Iyanden Dark Sun
Flames: Skull White
Claws: Chaos Black
Flesh: Iyanden Dark Sun
Beak: Tau Sept Ochre
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Seat Padding: Necron Abyss
Leather: Scorched Brown
Phoenix Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White

Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 2



Base: Recover Steel Legion Drab
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil
Orange Feathers: Wash Devlan Mud
Yellow Feathers: Wash Devlan Mud
Flames: Layer 1:1 Skull White/Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Bad Moon Yellow
Claws: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Phoenix Flesh: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then Gryphonne Sepia
Beak: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Seat Padding: Layer Regal Blue
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Yellow Trim: Layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/( 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White

Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 3



Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Orange Feathers: Layer Macharius Solar Orange, then highlight 1:1 Macharius Solar Orange/Fiery Orange
Yellow Feathers: Layer Iyanden Darksun, then highlight 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow
Flames: Layer 1:1 Bad Moon Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Phoenix Flesh: Layer Iyanden Darksun
Beak: Layer Tausept Ochre
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Seat Padding: Highlight Ultramarine Blue
Leather: Layer Scorched Brown, then highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Yellow Trim: Highlight Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White

Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 4



Base: NONE
Ruins: Drybrush Rakarth Flesh, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Orange Feathers: Highlight Fiery Orange
Yellow Feathers: Highlight Golden Yellow
Flames: Layer 2:1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow/Fiery Orange, then layer 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Fiery Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then layer 1:1 Fiery Orange/Blazing Orange, then layer Blazing Orange – then wash heavily watered down Mithril Silver
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone
Phoenix Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Beak: Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Tausept Ochre
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Seat Padding: Highlight Enchanted Blue
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Eye: Regal Blue, then layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Space Wolves Grey

124.5 Lothern Sky Cutter

Next in painting corner is the Lothern Sky Cutter. Given the first unit I painted for this army, way back when, was the Lothern Sea Guard it was really nice to be painting some of the familiar details again. I equipped mine with an Eagle Eye Bolt Thrower, as it seemed sensible.















Just as with the Phoenix I magnetised this to the flying bases. Fortunately consisting of much smaller bits this was significantly easier to magnetise and a whole lot more stable. If you were being picky you'd notice the harness for the Roc doesn't quite line up properly. But you're not being picky so I expect to hear nothing from you. The magnets are a bit more visible in this case, but seem to blend in as detail on the metal work. So I keep telling myself.



Another painting guide for you to ignore, but will you be able to live with yourself if you don't find out how I achieved the red on the Sea Guard's shield?

124.6 Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide

Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 1



Leather: Scorched Brown
Wood: Steel Legion Drab
Sails and White Fabric: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver: Chainmail
Gold: Tin Bitz
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hair: Rakarth Flesh
Seaweed: Dark Angels Green
Vine: Catachan Green
Dragon: Mechrite Red
Sea: 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Chaos Black/Enchanted Blue
Dark Feathers: Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Baneblade Brown
Beak and Claws: Chaos Black
Yellow Beak: Tausept Ochre
Feet: Iyanden Darksun
Ruins: Calthan Brown

Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 2



Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Baneblade Brown
Sails and White Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold: Shining Gold
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Seaweed: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue
Vine: Pick out leaves in Dark Angels Green
Dragon: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Sea: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue at top of Shield
Dark Feathers: Wash Nuln Oil, then drybrush 2:1 Graveyard Earth/ Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then drybrush 1:1 Baneblade Brown/ Bleached Bone
Beak and Claws: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Yellow Beak: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Feet: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil

Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 3



Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth
Sails and White Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/Skull White, then layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Bleached Bone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Dragon: Highlight Blazing Orange, then highlight Vomit Brown
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests
Dark Feathers: Drybrush 2:1 Graveyard Earth/ Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Beak and Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Yellow Beak: Layer Tausept Ochre
Feet: Layer Iyanden Dark Sun
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown, then drybrush Rakarth Flesh

Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 4



Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone, then layer watered down Bleached Bone
Sails and White Fabric: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Silver: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White, then lightly drybrush Skull White
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:3 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: DONE
Dragon: Wash Baal Red
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests
Dark Feathers: Drybrush Graveyard Earth
Light Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Beak and Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone
Yellow Beak: Highlight 1:1 Tausept Ochre/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Feet: Highlight Bleached Bone
Ruins: Drybrush Bleached Bone

124.7 Handmaiden of the Everqueen

I also painted up the Handmaiden of the Everqueen. A relatively simple resin model there's not too much to report. Though I did get to paint boobies! Snigger snigger.









To acknowledge her attachment to the realm of Avelorn I added some green detailing in the form of the ribbon on her spear, and the flights of her arrows. In addition to my usual blue and yellow accent colours. I really enjoyed painting the green, a colour that I rarely use - perhaps a Wood Elf army beckons?

The base detailing is just some slate, and brass ivy from the Warhammer Basing Kit.

124.8 Handmaiden of the Everqueen Painting Guide

Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 1



Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Outside of Cloak: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Leather: Scorched Brown
Hair: Snakebite Leather
Inside of Cloak: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Rocks: Charadon Granite
Vine: Catachan Green
Green Trim: Dark Angels Green
Wood: Steel Legion Drab

Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 2



Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Base: Baneblade Brown
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Outside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Layer Desert Yellow, then layer 1:1 Desert Yellow/Ushabti Bone
Inside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Vine: Pick out leaves in Dark Angels Green
Green Trim: 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green, then layer Snot Green
Wood: Baneblade Brown

Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 3



Flesh: Wash watered down Reikland Fleshshade
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Outside of Cloak: Layer watered down Skull White
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Hair: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then was Agrax Earthshade in recesses
Inside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Rocks: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Green Trim: Highlight 2:1 Snot Green/Skull White, then highlight 1:1 Snot Green/Skull White
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth

Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 4



Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Outside of Cloak: Highlight Skull White
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Hair: Highlight strands with Ushabti Bone, then tips with Skull White
Inside of Cloak: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Vine: DONE
Green Trim: Wash Thraka Green
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Ushabti Bone, then layer watered down Ushabti Bone

124.9 Alarielle, the Everqueen

Why paint one set of boobies when you can paint two? So the handmaiden has someone to attend to I painted up Alarielle. A nice Finecast model, although she does suffer from a bendy staff that just won't repose. Still I think she's come out alright.









I painted the shattered Chaos Armour to match that of my Tzeentch Warriors army, because it seemed a nice. Touch. As with the Handmaiden she has a piece of green trim to tie her to Averlorn. A subtle detail I added, which I think worked, though you may not notice, is for her dress I used a warmer base coat then for all my other High Elves. Usually I use Astronomacian Grey, but in this case I swapped it for Rakarth Flesh. It seems to make the dress look lighter and silkier and give her warmth. She still has the standard white I have use on everyone else on her pelt. Just to tie her into the High Elves.

124.10 Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide

Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 1



Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Chaos Armour: Chainmail
Chaos Armour Trim: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Robes: 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White
Leather: Scorched Brown
Hair: Rakarth Flesh
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
Vine: Catachan Green
Green Trim: Dark Angels Green
Roses: Scab Red
White Tabard: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skill White

Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 2



Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Base: Baneblade Brown
Chaos Armour: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Chaos Armour Trim: Aluric Armour Gold
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Robes: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White)/(1:2 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Vine: Highlight Dark Angels Green
Green Trim: 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green, then layer Snot Green
Roses: Highlight Red Gore
White Tabard: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White

Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 3



Flesh: Wash watered down Reikland Fleshshade
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Chaos Armour: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Chaos Armour Trim: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Robes: Layer watered down Skull White
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Hair: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Green Trim: Highlight 2:1 Snot Green/Skull White, then highlight 1:1 Snot Green/Skull White
Roses: Highlight Blood Red
White Tabard: Layer watered down Skull White

Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 4



Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Chaos Armour: Highlight Mithril Silver
Chaos Armour Trim: Highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Robes: Highlight Skull White
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Hair: Highlight strands with Ushabti Bone, then tips with Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Vine: DONE
Green Trim: Wash Thraka Green
Roses: Wash Baal Red, then highlight Blood Red
White Tabard: Highlight Skull White

124.11 Get in Touch

That's your lot! Good news is I managed my Elf pledge of 2014 to paint one of each of the new(ish) kits - Sisters of Averlorn, Sky Cutter, Phoenix, Loremaster, Handmaiden and Alarielle. Quite fancy adding some Shadow Warriors and a Frostheart Phoenix. But they will have to wait.

Remember as always I'd love your comments here, or on Twitter @ProbyNumbers see you next time!

[fatolaf]

Amazing birdies, the flames on the Phoenix are amazing

[cunningmatt]

Amazing birdies, the flames on the Phoenix are amazing

Thank you sir! Out of orange and yellow paint now!!

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 125 Blood, Sweat and Hobby Tears for the Blood God Monday 23rd June 2014



It's the return of the blog that's about as popular and enthusiastic as the voice of Phil Neville – I made a football joke, you should be so proud... I can use Google.

125.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 2

So Week 2 into the Tale of OG Gamers and I'm already four weeks behind. How is that even possible? I jest, but only because this is kind of a dummy month that doesn't count before we get into the painting round proper, as soon as we do I will be behind. Fate has determined it.

In fairness I've spent this week immersing myself into Warriors of Chaos goodness. As a large chunk of this project is focussing on finishing my Warriors army with the recent(ish) releases, I have kept myself entertained by going back over those White Dwarfs from the latest two Warriors of Chaos waves; hoping hobby lust will encourage feats of speed and dexterity.



And in fairness it's got me excited about constructing Foresaken and Chaos Chariots, we'll see how long that lasts. Probably not up until the point when I have a chance to build them.

Additionally I've carved a rune of the Chaos Gods into my arm using a sacred blade of the Dark Lords.



Remember children I am a trained expert and you really shouldn't try this as dabbling with the Dark Gods of Heinz is a dangerous thing – I have a terrible stain on my T-shirt that my regular washing powder just won't shift.

Whereas on my other hand I suffered a nasty paper cut on my index finger which I've dedicated to Slaanesh.



Any way given June is sort of a warm up month in preparation for the proper kick off next month, I've decided to set myself a target of finishing my part painted Manticore kit - as a sort of bonus model. In fairness my proposed army list (more on that next week) doesn't really have any characters in, as I'm pretty much covered for those with my existing army. So by awarding this Manticore rider an honorary place in my army it makes it more fun to field against the other people taking part in this Tale of OG Gamers – who are painting armies for other games' systems and giving up after Week 1.

Veteran readers with very, very grey beards might recognise this as the Manticore Kit I bought in Update 4 (yes you read that right Update 4 – 121 updates ago!) After vowing it mustn't be one of those kits that sits on the shelf for years. I started building it in Update 17, toyed with the idea of finishing it Update 93 and actually finished building it in Update 112 and started painting it a few months back. I clearly need help. Plus a boost with the Manticore would be useful too.



Here's where I am so far with the Manticore, it's pretty much there, there's just a few last highlights and then assemblies to do. Foolishly I've set myself the challenge of using some water effects on the base, so that will take about 6,000 months to set. So that'll be ready around Update 245.

That's pretty much all I have to say this week. Again I've not said much but I've drawn it out as I'm paid by the word. But unlike England's World Cup Team I will be returning for Week 3. Wow I am on fire with the football jokes, it's almost like I know what I am talking about.

125.2 Get In Touch

Remember encouragement or abuse or chocolate is always welcome. So feel free to either reply here or give me a virtual French kiss on Twitter @ProbyNumbers – you probably won't catch anything.

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 126 The Waiting Game Monday 30th June 2014



126.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 3

Yes it's Week 3 already, although technically next week is Week 1. As June doesn't really count and the Tale of OG Gamers begins in July. But I've started the branding now and I love a good numbering system so I'm not prepared to mess it up now.

What have I achieved? This week I'm referring to, not in my whole life that would be far too depressing to consider. Well avid reader you will remember that last week I showed off my nearly finished Manticore, which is my bonus June model designed to whet my appetite so that by next week I'm salivating all over frames of unassembled Foresaken like a rabid dog who hasn't seen any Pedigree Chum since 2009.

The good news I've finished said Manticore's painting:



Woooo! Bad news is I'm waiting for some Water Effects to dry on its base. I've slopped on my Water Effects, which looks worrying like Thrush Cream - don't ask how I know. HS2 is likely to be completed before the Water Effects has dried.

And now it's just waiting for it to dry...



Waiting...



And waiting...



And waiting...

In fact I was so bored I nearly considered watching England play Costa Rica. Nearly.

I even nearly considered assembling my Cockatrice in the intervening time.



Nah, no one is ever going to use that!

Then it finally dried yesterday...



So I could put the next coat on.



And wait some more...

However while waiting for my Manticore's base to dry, I did get a chance to head along to the award winning (should be if it isn't) OG Games club to play the award winning Lustria – Return to Port campaign, with my non-award winning High Elf army.

You may, or may not have realised that excitingly this blog is now being simulcast; you could be reading it on either the OG Games Forum or reading it on the OG Games Meet Up page, or most likely reading it on neither. Simulcasting is a TV word to try and capture the excitement of a single programme being shown on multiple channels at once. Even though in reality all it means is you are getting less choice than you usually get!

If you are reading on our Meet Up page (or possibly even our forum) you might not know all about our club. So let me introduce you. OG Games' nights take part in our Wandsworth based gaming room. Conveniently situated above a naturally occurring red wine spring - though other drinks can be purchased too if you prefer. Every Thursday and a lot of Saturdays (though I being stupid haven't quite figured out their pattern of occurrence) a nice bunch of people (I'm not there most weeks) turn up to play a variety of games in a civilised fashion. These games range from Games Workshop games to Magic to board games to Hide and Seek when it's time to collect the £2 fee. Of course the laws of statistics mean that a small percentage of any group of gamers must include a token number of weirdoes and our group is no exception. If you're not sure who I am referring to, I am also certainly referring to you. Still you quickly get used to the site of seeing so many electronic tagging devices in the same room, and eventually you'll feel confident enough to put down your spray can of mace and take part in the wide range of games we have on offer.

One of the most distinguishing features about the club is the mystical carpet we have, which manages the unnatural trick of being the exactly same colour as whatever dice is dropped upon it. It shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is, and no matter what colour of dice you use, it will be completely impossible to find on the carpet. On first arrival at the club you might think it odd that you need to step up a steep 14 inch step to enter the club room, but in actual fact that 14 inchstep is just a huge sea of lost dice that you have to step onto in order to enter the room.

You might think that it's all just games, but no there's a social aspect too – annoyingly for anti-social people like me that would like to avoid all human contact as much as is physically possible. Conversations on Thursday included one with Steve about whether I could become the OG Games equivalent of Luis Suarez and start biting my opponents. A story which when regaled to Giles (my opponent on Thursday) didn't so much provoke a response of laughter – more backing away like he'd just been spoken to by a predatory stalker. Still at least it's someone else I won't have to talk to next time I turn up.

In other news some women wandered into the club, I know, weird – someone had to explain to me what women were. They didn't seem to be too scared, and politely asked all about the games – perhaps their feet were caught in the undulating carpet of discarded dice and they were making small talk to mask their desperate struggle to reach the fire exit. We'll never know, their bodies have probably now been completely engulfed by the D6 flooring, and they'll never been seen again.

So there you go that's the club, if you want to know how my game went on you'll have to make sure you turn over to the OG Games Forum, as this is where the simulcast on the Meet up forum ends. Unless you're already here, in which case keep reading – it's confusing.

126.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 2

Back in Update 123 I introduced you to Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden as his motley band of High Elf Children's Entertainers. If that sounds bonkers you may need to flick back and have a read (it will still sound bonkers but at least you may have some context).

Anyway it's Round 2 now and the hunt for the sacred Lizardmen plaques continues as Soot-ridden forces his way through the dense undergrowth.

The scenario was called 'Claim the Ruins' and I faced Giles' Orc & Goblin army consisting of a handful of Goblins, some Savage Orcs, a Black Orc Boss and worryingly a Troll! The idea was simply to be in control of three ruins located in the centre of the table by the end of the game. What could possibly go wrong...



Soot-ridden pushed past another exotic plant, he and his team were hot, exhausted and covered in mud. It reminded him of an ill-fated visit to Glaston-Loren when he was a much younger Elf. The scent ahead changed, it was still damp, but the wind bought a different flavour of damp. It was the unmistakable smell of the vile Orcs and the smaller cousins, but this was where Soot-ridden's map indicated the plaques could be.

The Elves advanced towards the ruins, but they could hear the greenskins advancing too – unlike the Lizardmen, they weren't quiet in their advance.



Before they knew it a massive Troll thundered through the undergrowth. Shadow Warrior – Phoenix Flan Flinger fled the Troll.



But instead the rampaging beast turned his attention on Silver Helm – The Whiteish Knight vomiting all over the noble Elf dissolving him, his armour and his horse.



In response to this threat Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden downed his Potion of Strength and along with Spearman Pat and Lothern Sea Guard Pugwash charged into the Troll.



Sister of Avelorn Yvette loosed her magic bow against a Savage Orc, but couldn't penetrate the dense foliage. In combat the Elves combined attack failed as Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden couldn't hit the Troll, wasting his Potion of Strength. And neither the Spearmen nor Sea Guard could score a wound on the Troll. Meanwhile the Troll wounded Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden. It was all too much for Sea Guard Pugwash who fled the carnage.



In response the Savage Orc charges Sister of Avelorn Yvette who loosed her bow, but yet again couldn't hit. While the Black Orc Boss charges Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden to aid the Troll.



While innumerable Goblins swarm over the Lizardmen ruins claiming them. The Savage Orc kills Sister Yvette, the Troll and the Black Orc kill Soot-ridden and Spearmen Pat.



Sea Guard Pugwash rallies, whereas Shadow Warrior – Phoenix Flan Flinger's pot shot against the Troll misses. The Troll recharges Sea Guard Pugwash who decides to flee rather than face the beast again. The Goblins and Savage Orcs consolidate their hold on the ruins.

White Lion Pat Sharp Knee charges into the Savage Orc that took Sister Yvette's life killing him in vengeance. In response the Goblins open fire on White Lion Pat Sharp Knee remarkably a Goblin scores an impressive hit through the undergrowth that fails to score a wound. However another Goblin uses the Last Chance Arrow to kill the White Lion.

However with over half the army dead, the remaining Elves decide to flee the ruins leaving the Orcs in control.



Several hours later the Elves regrouped, they'd lost the ruins. But fortunately something Soot-ridden had picked up in the Glaston-Loren toilets had protected them from the carnage.

So despite my early victories in Round 1, I'd returned to my usual form in Round 2. I blame the Troll, and Giles, and the weather and the England football team.

Anyway I still scored the following points:

+200 Gold for showing up
+50 Gold for playing a new opponent – Giles
+1,000 Gold for having cool hair

So it wasn't all a loss.

126.3 Get In Touch

That's your lot for this week. Go away. But you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers if you are not offended by that last instruction.