Procrastination by Numbers

[fatolaf]

Well done Matt and Seb, well deserved victories.....

[cunningmatt]

Many thanks for the congrats, slightly unfortunate I have to organise my own competition to win anything, but I'll take what I can get?! 

Its true, aimless ranting appears to be key to upping your forum cred. However, first you'd have to leave your significant other, fall into a deep pit of despair, and start hacking up Teddy bears on Valentine's day, just to give yourself something to rant about. Do you really want to do this just to gain Internet fame?

On a another note, I think I could do a "It's All Shades of... Red?" sequel for my High Elves. But that will be in about the year 2051, when I finally finish the first one...

Sadly yes the above is required, it's a small price to pay for the infamy I now have. I can walk in any shop anywhere and say "Don't you know who I am?". They don't, but I feel I can now say it at least.

Looking forward to the Red sequel, I'll put a note in my calendar as to when to look out for it.

Congrats to all the other nominees, remember Dave it's the being nominated that counts. Though it is easy for me to say that as I won! 

[Dave]

I'm off to into my giant oversized pillow.

[cunningmatt]

I'm off to into my giant oversized pillow.

Something all us lonely bloggers are tired of doing.

[cunningmatt]

Update 38 – Thursday 19th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 4



Welcome back to the Awards Ceremony that has more interesting content than Wikipedia... if you just count yesterday. Yesterday we ruffled feathers, caused showbiz strops as the awards got personal and presumably the alcohol took hold.

Let's hope for more of that as it keeps the ratings up, so without further ado, here's today's categories:

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011



This clunkly named award celebrates individual models, rather than blogs. Who painted the best individual model (or unit/squad)? That's what we aim to find out. As with yesterday's Best Painting Blog category I am exempt from nominations (I know and I was hoping my movement trays would win). Remember everyone (Dave) it's being nominated that counts. On that note, with some trepidation, we look at the nominations...

Lylyth, Herald of Everblight – painted by CraigM

This model has become colloquially known as Craig's Purple Cloak model, well by some of the voters at least, hopefully the reasons for naming are obvious (or I've picked the wrong model). This model is presumably for the game Hordes, what I do know is she has a lovely purple cloak and excellent snowy base, well I presume it's snow she may have a terrible coke habit.



Photos used with kind permission of Craig M, from "Craig goes Hordes" blog

Malifaux Models – painted by Dave

Dave secured this highly commendable, very important and much regaled nomination for his Malifaux models. Voters hadn't selected a particular model, so I've chosen a few from his blog. I've chosen these because A) I like them and B) The pictures didn't say "This image or video has been moved or deleted. Photobucket." Which would have been a less exciting picture. Obviously I have no idea what these models are, but they look good, unless they are supposed to be giraffes in which case they are awful.



Photos used with kind permission of Dave from "Dave's OG Purchases" Blog

Alice the Hive Tyrant – painted by Maelzch

Not quite sure why this beastie is called Alice, perhaps it reminds Lee of an unfortunate looking ex-girlfriend, who can say? Tallest of the Tyranid beasties, this monster generates terror in all who see her, no wonder she's grumpy looking like that. Yellow and black armour plating are the trademark colour scheme for this army.



Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Tale of 6 Gamers – 40K" and "Maelzch's Mad Medley" Blog

Bloodbowl Ogre – painted by Maelzch

It's yellow and black, I wondered who painted it?! This massive ogre dominates any Blood Bowl field, and I think may have been my PE teacher back during my troubled childhood. Armed with the latest merchandise from JD Sports – an anchor and a parrot this model is sure to be getting a super injunction soon.



Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Maelzch's Mad Medley" Blog

Chaos Dwarf Bull Taurus and Lammasu – painted by Maelzch

You'd think 15 active Warhammer armies would be enough to find one you wanted to paint, but some people like to be difficult! These models date back to a time when my haircut was fashionable, and feature the trademark lava basing. Last seen on the battlefield representing Gyrocopters... no really they were. This is our only Chaos Dwarf nomination... unsurprisingly!



Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Maelzch's Dawi Zharr" Blog

Eiryss, Angel of Retribution – painted by Meals

This is some model from some game (I don't actually know which, but I don't think anyone noticed), what I can tell you is that it's posed on a big piece of stonework, due to trade descriptions it must heavily be painted blue. I can also reveal it's painted using the Non-Metallic Metal technique, whereby normal colours are blended to appear metallic. Don't tell Jim, but they actually make metallic paints, he could have saved himself loads of time.

Please note I've only included one photo of this model, as only one angle has been photographed (no bias here), in fairness for all we know the back could be s**t!


Photo used with kind permission of Meals from "It's All Shades of... Blue?" Blog

Brother Harkon – painted by Angelus Mortifer

Brother Harkon is one of many models painted by Angelus Mortifer, on his award winning blog, using his standing order of Blood Red. Excellent basing, a detailed shield and clear photography help this model look amazing – anyone else feeling slightly inadequate?



Photos used with kind permission of Angelus Mortifer from "The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint..." Blog

Dark Eldar Wyches – painted by Angelus Mortifer

Hang on a minute, where's the Blood Red gone? It's all gone wrong! Other painters may feel a little concerned that models which haven't even been finished have been nominated in this category – this girls requiring some basing, but that's a testament to the painting, or the fact that many of the people voting on this forum go a little bit week at the knees when they see Boobs, I'll let you decide which!



Photos used with kind permission of Angelus Mortifer from "The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint..." Blog

Queek on Bonebreaker – painted by Shadownova24

Much like the Power Rangers' Zords, Skaven characters can combine together to make super Skaven characters. Here's what happened when Queek and Bonebreaker joined forces. Covered in mangy fur, and smelling really bad the painter of these models has also gone onto paint some impressive Warriors of Chaos and Space Wolves models (sorry Steve couldn't resist!).



Photos used with kind permission of Shadownova24 from "Corruption (WOC/SK) and Retribution (SW 13th company)" Blog

And with the nominees all appropriately insulted, it's time to open that golden envelope and discover who the winner is...

[spoiler]

Eiryss, Angel of Retribution – painted by Meals



Congratulations to Meals on an excellent win. I am sure he has something far more eloquent to say than me – to be honest I'm sure Colin Firth's character in The King's Speech has something more eloquent to say than me but that's what makes me, me.

Category Notes: Congratulations to all the nominees in this category, especially Lee who managed an impressive three models nominated in this category, and well done to Seb who's Blood Angels came a close second, nearly securing him a clean sweep in the painting categories.

[/spoiler]

Time to move onto the next category, the final one for today.

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011



Okay, okay, so I admit it, I was worried I wouldn't win anything so set up my own category to make sure I won something. Can you really blame me? I wouldn't object if you did the same in your own Awards Ceremony.

The Procrastinator is me, in case you hadn't guessed, and here we were looking for the best post (or series of linked posts) that I've produced in 2011 primarily across my blogs Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves and Procrastination by Numbers. Here are the nominees...

Forgotten Special Advent Calendars

A treat for every day in the run up to the big family row, this year presented in stereo format (ok so one of the threads was a repeat). Ingenious use of the spoiler facility, i.e. use of the spoiler facility, created all the thrill of an advent calendar without the chocolate – hence no excitement. Everyday we looked back at a special character that's been removed from the Games Workshop annals. Sadly Games Workshop refuse to remove enough special characters from their books so there probably won't be one next year.



Daily Tale

The primary reason why Matt isn't allowed to become a journalist was revealed back in March when the Tale of OG Gamers ran a spoof tabloid newspaper entitled the Daily Tale – see what we did there? Featuring obituaries (mainly of Matt's love life), obscene Page 3s, headlines, chatter and shockingly some painted models the blog entry was tedium taken to a new level.



Extreme Sports

Interestingly this didn't feature a single reference to Games Workshop as Matt (yes I am writing about myself in the third person, it is odd I know) detailed the utter catastrophe that was his attempt at extreme sports, and when we say extreme sports what we actually mean is Go-Karting. The only blog entry to feature to be referred to the health & safety board featured injuries, crashes, inability to overtake, enormous helmets (don't be rude) and more stress than a European financial meeting.



Guess the Number of Chairs Competition

When holidays aren't exciting what do you do? You take a photo of every chair in your villa and then ask people to guess how many they are in return for packets of Angel Delight – such a common occurrence that the internet is practically clogged up with these things. Similar competitions with similar budgets may or may not be appearing in 2012, you have been warned.



High Elf vs Dark Elf Battle Report

What do you do when you've got a weekend alone, no partner, no friends and no prospect of any of these things? Well Matt likes to recreate the clubs' lava board in Microsoft Paint for no discernable reason and then map out an incomplete battle as the most bittered and twisted rivals who have hated each for generations fought tooth and nail, but enough about Matt and Jack. The game was an opportunity for Matt's ridiculously fluffy High Elf army to fight against a similarly chosen list by Jack and the result defied all probability.



Shakeaway Purchasing Guide

In case you weren't sure how to go into a shop and purchase a drink Matt helpfully provided a guide of how to order a milkshake. Despite numerous mentions of the Shakeaway brand the company refuses to offer Matt any free milkshakes and many of the staff have taken out a restraining order against him.



Valentine's Rage

Some call it the funniest blog they've ever read, some call it a cry for help and a reason for social services to step in with an elephant-dosage size shot of tranquilisers. I'd like to say that no teddy bears were hurt in the making of this blog entry, but that would be a lie. With February looming and no real prospects for Matt, the Valentine's teddy bears of the world prepare their defences and hide under the counter – the raging hour is coming.


And the winner is...

[spoiler]

Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar



I won, what a surprise, it really wasn't expected?! Ok it's not really fair creating a category where only I can win, but ha, ha, ha my blog, my rules (unless I upset one of the moderators).

What was a surprise was that the Valentine's Rage blog didn't win, particularly as it shot out into the lead at the beginning of the voting for this category. But eventually it was overtaken by a strong performance from the Advent Calendar – admittedly this was 24 posts (48 if you count all the ones I repeated from last year) but I really thought the burnt out teddies would win it. If you haven't read the Valentine's Rage blog best you don't, I'd like to remain with some dignity on this forum, besides with 2012's Valentine's Day looming and me now happily settled with a gorgeous and loving partner I will have nothing angry to write about this year (cough, cough!). Also good to see a fair few Procrastination by Numbers' posts make the nominations, at one point it was only The Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves' posts listed and I was worrying I'd stop being funny!! Good to know I've still got it, if I may be so bold as to suggest I ever had it.


[/spoiler]

As Katherine Jenkins said to Gethin Jones, it's time for a break. Make sure you pop back tomorrow to join us for the final day of The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards ceremony. Ahhhhhhhhh I know, but seriously I couldn't drag this out any longer. Tomorrow we'll be wondering who won Best Painted Model by the Procrastinator, I wonder who will win. And which model will take away the infamous title of Worst Games Workshop Model of 2011? There's certainly some interesting nominations.

On that note, see you tomorrow.

[shadownova24]

WHOOT

[maelzch]

If only I could combine my nominations into one super nomination. "Nominations assemble!"

Good job to the winners, especially matt's shock award!

(The reason behind Alice's name is on my plog HERE)

[cunningmatt]

If only I could combine my nominations into one super nomination. "Nominations assemble!"...

...you still wouldn't have won! But you are the only person to have got three nominations in the same category (bar my rigged categories), which I think is an excellent achievement!!

Good job to the winners, especially matt's shock award!

Many thanks, many thanks, I'm still getting over the shock myself.

(The reason behind Alice's name is on my plog HERE)

In fairness I did write the blurb for your entry at the point when I couldn't find your entry on your blog, so I had to make it all up without even a reference picture (unlike the other entirely factually correct blurbs). Though I think my reason for calling her Alice is better than yours! 

[Meals]

Um... Wow this is so unexpected! Well, I'd just like to thank my mum and dad, where would I be without you guys? Um I have to thank my amazing publicist who got me this gig in the first place. Ahh... my fellow cast members who were just fantastic to work with and made it all so much fun. Um privateer press for giving such a beautiful model to work with.
*music starts* I should also congratulate my quality competition who all painted some lovely models
*grabbed by ushers* oh and any else I've forgotten, i love you all! Woo, free Tibet!
*shoved off stage*

But seriously, when do I get my trophy?

[cunningmatt]

Lovely acceptance speech there, well done!

But seriously, when do I get my trophy?

Sadly the budget for this blog is approximately £0, however I'd be happy to send you a pitcure of the Awards Logo Star with the word "Winner" on it (as attached to your picture in the golden envelope) for you to do with as you see fit?! I appreciate this has no cash value and so therefore won't be what you wanted.