Procrastination by Numbers

[cunningmatt]

I wonder how many people in the queue were grumbling and giving Matt evil stares for standing there and taking pictures of the till rather than actually paying for goods speedily and moving on. Perhaps that is why the queues are so big as everyone is tweeting pics about it and rage quitting the store.

Actually I was very subtle and took the pictures on my iPhone (other brands of smart phone are available) whilst making it appear to passersby that I was reading a text. Seriously I could work for MI5 I am that good, if Spooks ever comes back I'll be the next lead.

[cunningmatt]

Update 21 – Wednesday 9th November 2011: In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

Yep it's another update from the blog with more words on it than are tattooed on Frankie Cocozza's arse although at least it's 191% less twatish. Although much like Frankie I have been kicked out by Gary Barlow – who knew Take That Concerts had such good security?

Anyway unless you've been swanning around Australia for the last three weeks having a really good time, whilst us lot have been living in damp miserable Britain, you'll know that I have been painting a White Lion Chariot up for the campaign that started a few weeks ago.

I've now reached the annoying stage of all chariot painting... the assembly, yep once you painted all your separate bits and pieces it's time to assemble and mount your chariot on a base. A task even the most patient person will find about as trying, as going on a fortnight long holiday with Jedward. I always find it easier to paint and detail your base before attaching the chariot, as otherwise you're left with copious amounts of trying to sand, flock and paint under the chassis of your chariot. Never fun.

First up I assembled the basic chariot (i.e. all parts that will touch the base) holding everything in place with white-tac (before you accuse me of racism, I should point out black-tac is way to strong and will rip the base apart before coming lose, and blue-tac tends not to peel off surfaces as nicely as the white stuff):



Next paint a line around the area of the model touching the base, as these out of focus photos nearly clearly show:





Incidentally it's worth at this stage, noting on the bottom of the base which piece goes where, particularly in the case of steeds. As you can see here I've indicated which side is the lion with the open mouth and similarly which side has the closed mouth to make things easier in the end:



At the end you should have a base that looks like this, only less blurry – unless you've been on the Bacardi Breezers again:



Then decorate your base as normal, but leaving your marked areas clear:



After that it's assembly time, and here's my super top tip I learnt putting together this chariot, in fact it's so super a top tip I'm going to give it an exciting text format and box of it's own:


Matty's Top TipAlways assemble painted sub-assemblies with super glue


Yeah even if you're assembling a plastic model, if you've painted your sub-assemblies use super glue. Plastic glue is designed to dissolve the top layer of plastic of both surfaces and bond them together. However if you've painted those surfaces, the glue will simply dissolve the paint and they won't stick well at all, plus any excess spilling out the join will take away the paint of other surfaces. Super glue I found worked much better in this case, and is a lot kinder on the paint work and stronger overall.

There you go, take note, or be disappointed.

With that trusty advice under my belt, here's the finished chariot:

Stage 4 – White Lions Chariot









Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Light wash of Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Detail: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Detail: *NO CHANGE*

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Lion Skin: Highlight Kommando Khaki
Hair: (Vomit Brown) highlight Bubonic Brown OR (Dheneb Stone) highlight Skull White
Elf and Lion Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone

Lions

Rock: Drybrush Fortress Grey then Wash Badab Black
Grass: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Armour Trim: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Mouth: *NO CHANGE*
Teeth: Highlight Bleached Bone
Lion Body: Layer 1:1 Kommando Khaki : Skull White
Lion Fur: Layer Desert Yellow
Lion Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone

The banner was copied from the High Elf book, annoyingly it's not shown at 1:1 scale which makes copying it much harder.

And is it me or does one of the lions on the banner look good and the other look a bit evil?



Good Lion



Evil Lion

The same bizarrely happened when I painted the banner for my old White Lions unit (in a past High Elf army).



Good Lion on the left, with paint splodge on chin (must clean that up) and Bad Lion on the right.

Is it me? Hmmm. Moving on.

I know what you what you're thinking, "now Silvio Berlusconi has resigned will any of those hot Italian women be available for me?", I don't know. But you may also be thinking (though probably less likely), "how is Matt getting on in the Tale of Two OG's Campaign?" well dear reader it's time to tell you:

Santa and his Elves

Army Selection

After last week's (ok last fortnight's - I was busy) revealing of the army selection, the comments seem to have been all positive. Even Lee said "I expected to see you'd taken something s**t, but I couldn't find it in your list". Ha ha! It's true what they say with monkeys and typewriters, give me long enough and I will eventually stumble across a decent list.

Battle 1 – versus Tom's Vampire Counts

I went into this battle with the reassuring advice from my team captain of "sorry", it's fair to say expectations for my survival weren't that high. However it seemed that even Team Evil were ready to cheer me on in hope of victory. Not sure why that was? What can I say evil is unpredictable.

I decided to rush forward all my infantry units as fast as possible to get grips with the Undead, a tactic which seemed to surprise all onlookers and put Tom firmly on the backfoot – apparently they'd expected me to flap around with Eagles and the like, but no I'll show them. By turn 2 I was able to unleash a host of charges though sadly, my Swordmasters failed their admittedly long charge by 1". Had the succeeded they'd have smashed into a unit of Ghouls which they stood a good chance of mangling and overrunning into the Vampire Lord's unit. As it was Tom was able to react to these charges and the grind began with High Elves killing left right and centre, but never quite doing enough to destroy the units. The Phoenix Guard's ward save came into their own as they shrugged off wound after wound, that should have killed them. The same could not be said for Tom's Black Knights who stubbornly failed to roll anything higher than a 1 for their armour save allowing the Archers to take a decent number of them down.

In the end after both army's generals sucked themselves into the warp with miscasts (bye Santa), all my combat units were dead and only Tom's characters remained. Which points-wise converted into a 10-10 draw. I know, I'll say that again "a ten – ten draw" yes I got a ten-all draw. I know, you can't believe it, but it happened. It was an exciting battle actually, as at points I looked poised to snatch a win, but then at other times it started to look bleak.


The Phoenix Guard and Lothern Sea Guard get stuck into the Ghouls and Skeletons in a combat so large Carol Vorderman is required to work out the combat result.


The Dragon Princes march down the hill to join the battle, while a Black Knight actually faints at how well Matt did.


The battered Swordmasters prepare to throw themselves into combat once more, well it's that or be served up with some chips in a greasy café.


The Archers claim squatters rights in the tower and refuse to budge even to answer questions on Greek economic debt.

Battle 2 – Versus Gareth's Beastmen

Could lightning strike twice? Probably not. Sadly I was out deployed (forward slash stupid) as Gareth had so many throwaway units in his army I was forced to deploy all my key units before Gareth deployed any of his. So my Swordmasters ended up out on a flank (yes I should have put them in the centre I know).

This time I took a more cautious approach, moving forward on the flanks only, to encircle the enemy. For once both magic and missile worked, I knew this might happen one day, with bows and a barrage of magic spells doing heavy damage to the advancing Gor horde and some advancing Minotaurs.

This was the first time the brand new White Lion Chariot took to the field (in the battle against Tom it was played by an old Tiranoic Chariot) and on Turn 1 it was smashed to pieces by The Amber Spear – typical.

The Dragon Princes received a Tuskgor Chariot in the face, but ineptitude on both parts meant neither side ever managed to kill each other. Gareth's poor luck continued as his Minotaurs failed a crucial charge. The Gors redirected by an Eagle overran into the Phoenix Guard, but critically giving a chance for the Lothern Sea Guard to charge in and lend support. With the Gors already down to 50% of their starting strength they were beaten and run down by the combined units. And with the Lothern Sea Guard pursuing into the Minotaur unit and killing them it wasn't looking good for the Beastmen. Though they had successfully kept the Swordmasters at bay by feeding them units of Harpies.

In the end it was utter defeat for the Beasts, with me winning 20-0, I'll say that again "a twenty-nil win" yes I got a twenty-nil win. I know, you can't believe it, but it happened. In fairness poor Gareth had, had appalling luck and the result was probably far more down to that than any skill on my part. So Gareth decided to call it quits and head to the bar, who can blame him? Sadly his luck didn't improve when the barmaid rolled a misfire for her pint pulling dice roll and accidentally chucked a whole glass of Guiness over him! I may have made that up.

So two battles in and a good set of results from my High Elves, hopefully sanity will restore itself soon or the Universe may just collapse in on itself.

Up next time I'm facing Giles' Orcs & Goblins, will they crush Santa and his Elves? Only time will tell.

And finally with the White Lion Chariot done, it's time to unveil my new painting project. A project so exciting that I think I'm going to use some ridiculously large text again:

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 1

If your eyes managed to keep up with the scrolling text, you read 50 Spearmen in 50 Days (- Day 1). Why? I hear you cry. Well, my High Elf army is really short of core units, and to be honest the thought of a unit that can dish out 51 attacks in a round of combat filled me with excitement. Mooo Ha Ha Ha Mooo Ha Ha Ha. At 475 points for the unit, with a possible 25 point banner, it actually fits perfectly into a 2,000 point army as the entire core slot, so it's not as unfieldable as it may seem. Though the astute amongst you may have realised it does indeed break OG Comp. Well I laugh in the face of OG Comp Mooo Ha Ha Ha Mooo Ha Ha Ha – see? As the army that already fields special characters, what's wrong with a massive unit of Elves? Comp that!!

I am perfectly aware that painting 50 Spearmen, the largest unit I've ever done for any army, is an ambitious task, so I am hoping that 50 days seems reasonable for the job. It should be easy. I mean I've already gathered together all the models I need:



The leftovers from my High Elf Battalion here, and a couple of boxes of Spearmen thrown in for good measure. Time to get all the sprues out, and get snipping:



Oh dear... that's a lot of sprues. I feel a bit sick.

50 days you say. Really? Wouldn't a year be better?

By my reckoning 50 Days works out as a deadline on the 28th of December. Brilliant, because there's nothing going on at that time of year that's going to keep me busy.

Looks like there isn't going to be time for an official OG Gamers Advent Calendar this year then. Oh well.

[Meals]

Yeah even if you're assembling a plastic model, if you've painted your sub-assemblies use super glue. Plastic glue is designed to dissolve the top layer of plastic of both surfaces and bond them together. However if you've painted those surfaces, the glue will simply dissolve the paint and they won't stick well at all, plus any excess spilling out the join will take away the paint of other surfaces. Super glue I found worked much better in this case, and is a lot kinder on the paint work and stronger overall.

You know, you could always scrape back the paint a little bit on both parts and then touch it up afterwards...

I personally have found that Superglue over paint is just frankly awful and breaks in a stiff breeze since the only bond is paint to paint and then when it breaks, you have to repair the paint work anyway, so you may as well do it right in the first place.

Anyway, since you've gone 10, and then 20 pts I expect you to find a way to get 30pts off Giles. No pressure or anything! 

[Dave]

Update 21 – Wednesday 9th November 2011: In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

If your eyes managed to keep up with the scrolling text, you read 50 Spearmen in 50 Days (- Day 1). Why? I hear you cry.

I am perfectly aware that painting 50 Spearmen, the largest unit I've ever done for any army, is an ambitious task, so I am hoping that 50 days seems reasonable for the job. It should be easy. I mean I've already gathered together all the models I need:

50 days you say. Really? Wouldn't a year be better?

By my reckoning 50 Days works out as a deadline on the 28th of December. Brilliant, because there's nothing going on at that time of year that's going to keep me busy.

50 days... what are you going to paint in the other 47 days?

1 day = assembly
2nd day = basecoat & dip
3rd day = matt varnish and highlight/glaze then finish the basing.

I don't see the issue!

Or do you really mean 50 calender days rather than 50 days of working on them in which case possibly a slightly more difficult task due to the lack of spare days available.

[cunningmatt]

You know, you could always scrape back the paint a little bit on both parts and then touch it up afterwards...

I personally have found that Superglue over paint is just frankly awful and breaks in a stiff breeze since the only bond is paint to paint and then when it breaks, you have to repair the paint work anyway, so you may as well do it right in the first place.

Goodness the first Matty's Top Tip, or should that be...

Matty's Top Tip
...has already caused controversy. I see your point, but I have found the Superglue really strong in this case, the banner's a little wobbly - but then look at the tiny joint it's always going to be a bit wobbly!! I wouldn't usually paint the joins, but it's just bits where you don't know where the join is going to be until assembly - such as excatly where the crew will stand in the chariot.

50 days... what are you going to paint in the other 47 days?

1 day = assembly
2nd day = basecoat & dip
3rd day = matt varnish and highlight/glaze then finish the basing.

I don't see the issue!

Or do you really mean 50 calender days rather than 50 days of working on them in which case possibly a slightly more difficult task due to the lack of spare days available.

I mean 50 calendar days, and I'm planning my normal full four stage painting - none of this basecoat and dipping malarky (though I'm sure that would take me a long time!)!!!

[jackhoneysett]

Anyway unless you've been swanning around Australia for the last three weeks having a really good time, whilst us lot have been living in damp miserable Britain

It was five weeks I'm afraid Matt :-D

That White lion chariot banner really reminds me of Thundercats.

[cunningmatt]

It was five weeks I'm afraid Matt :-D

I was hoping at least two weeks had been awful so I didn't get too jealous.

That White lion chariot banner really reminds me of Thundercats.

Maybe you should theme your Tomb Kings around Mumm-Ra and then we can have an epic battle?

[fatolaf]

Looks like there isn't going to be time for an official OG Gamers Advent Calendar this year then. Oh well.

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! 

[cunningmatt]

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! 

I could always just shuffle up all last years entrants and put them behind an advent calednar, as opposed to making a new one up. Or are you expecting both?!! 

[fatolaf]

New one please......