Procrastination by Numbers

[roland murat]

I can have a look for a spare SM head if you want Matt

[cunningmatt]

I can have a look for a spare SM head if you want Matt

Cheers that's very kind - but in fairness I think I'm moaning for the sake of moaning and will paint his fleshy head! 

[roland murat]

No worries

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Update 91 – A Litany of Apologies Thursday 29th November 2012



Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

• 91.1 – Meet the Team
• 91.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 38 oops!
• 91.3 – The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord: Part 5
• 91.4 – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Coming Soon
• 91.5 – Get In Touch

91.1 – Meet the Team

Banned from the Santa's Grotto in Reading Town Centre for crimes against people with beards, it's the guys who make up the Procrastination by Numbers team:

Matty the Painter



Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been coming up with a series of excuses for not doing anything, however he's even managed to put that off. Hence he now needs a series of excuses for putting off making up a series of excuses.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist



For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been writing her Dear Santa letter, top of her wish list is "Freedom", closely followed by a new jumbo orange felt tip pen.

Mr Shakey Shakey



Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has been recovering from his Stag Do, organised by Matty the Painter. Ironically Mr Shakey Shakey's hands seem to be steadier under the influence of alchohol!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant



Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has already mastered The Hobbit Strategy Board Game three days before it's actually released. Her Goblin King is currently terrorising The Resident Six-Year Old Artist.

91.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 38 oops!

The title of this section probably says it all, but suffice us to say I haven't yet completed month one's Ultramarines. Here's a multiple choice style selection of potential excuses which I'll let you rank in order of importance.

A)   I've been organising Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do, planning various overly complicated scenarios which result in drinking, whereas actually everyone would be happy just drinking.
B)   I've been attending Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do partaking in various overly complicated scenarios which resulted in drinking, whereas actually everyone would have been happy just drinking.
C)   I've been recovering from Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do partaking in various overly complicated scenarios where the last thing I want to do is drink.
D)   I've been working on a top secret project, that you all probably know about which starts in December. More later. But it took a lot of work.
E)   I've been queuing in the Post Office.
F)   My bottom was itchy.
G)   There was something good on telly.
H)   I've been busy engaged in some low-medium level Facebook stalking.
I)   I desperately needed to alphabetise my CD collection.
J)   I needed a wee.

There you go, I hope one of those will do you. Incidentally the above reasons also cover me having not done any blogging last week. Apologies again.

Currently the situation is shown here:



A variety of blue things on a desk with lots of paints and the odd bit of Beastmen cluttering the table. I promise I will do better probably. Maybe. Terms and conditions of course apply.

91.3 – The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord, Part 5

Beastmen fans do not despair, I haven't forgotten about Rashnrak the Beastlord and his rampages across the Badlands. You probably have, but I haven't! In the unlikely event you want to find out how they've got on so far check out Updates 79, 80, 84 and 87 – you won't but as I've gone to the effort of listing the updates that's now become your laziness not mine. I hope you can sleep at night.

This week we fought Month 5, technically that's a lie, we fought Month 6, but I've fallen behind in my reporting duties. Feel free to pick one of the excuses from above to cover that!

In case you've forgotten we're using the Mighty Empires set to represent the Badlands. Shown artistically here:



My movement around the board this month was largely uneventful, though annoyingly my mine collapsed and JD invaded my territory with his Lizardmen. Scum!

An Ungor scampered across the clearing towards Rashnrak, if his beady red eyes could show emotion they'd show fear, knowing the news he'd have to impart. In an unintelligible roar, with the slightest hint of wimper, he communicated to Rashnrak the news that the Beastmen's mine had collapsed. A murderous rage glowed in Rashnrak's face before he ripped off the Ungor's head and tossed it aside, defecating on the remnants of the Ungor's shattered frame. The news was all Rashnrak needed, he cursed the stupid Ungor their appalling construction was almost certainly to blame. It didn't take much for Rashnrak to get annoyed at the Ungor. The mine would limit the Ungor's ability to construct chariots and weapons for the tribe and with the recent assault by the scaly ones, he would need all the weapons he could get. Rashnrak's lungs inflated before he let out a deep guttural roar that carried through the treetops. It was a message to Delithor the Great Bray-Shaman. He must not fail in his bid to banish the primeval ones.

The Ungor Raiders moved through the undergrowth tracking their pray, it wasn't hard the massive tracks of three Stegadons could hardly be disguised. They were grateful to be here, it was well known that Delithor was far more tolerant of the Ungor presence than the tribal lord. Soon they came upon the lizards; they'd already passed the herdstone covered in excrement. A clear violation of Beastmen territory. The Ungor knew the plan they would attack from the North while the main army would attack from the East, or was it that they would attack from the East while the main army would attack from the North? Ambushes were always tricky business. All the Ungor knew was that the tribe would have crocodile skin toilet paper for months to come.

So I was to fight the Lizardmen with Delithor's army who fought back in Month 4. Now I'd like to say I came up with a really cunning army list based upon my deep analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of the respective armies. But I was a bit pressed for time and so I just took the army I had packed from last time. See excuses above. Sorry. So here's what we had:

Great Bray-Shaman, Delithor (Lore of Beasts, Level 4) – armed with the Brass Cleaver (+1 Attack for each enemy in base-to-base contact taken as free magic item), the Talisman of Preservation (4+ Ward Save), Hagtree Fetish (nominate one enemy unit within 24" each magic phase, all failed rolls to wound may be rerolled in that phase), Crown of Command (stubborn), Chaos gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Armour Save). 350 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The War Banner (+1 Combat Resolution). 153 points
Bray Shaman, (Lore of Shadows, Level 2) – armed with extra hand weapon, Dispel Scroll, Other Trickster's Shard (all models in base-to-base reroll successful ward saves). 152 points

20 Ungor with spears, shields and full command. 135 points

16 Ungor with shields and full command. 95 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

3 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 240 points

17 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full command and the Banner of Outrage (unit always passes it's Primal Fury tests). 254 points

20 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full. 270 points

3 Razorgors. 165 points

6 Harpies, with scouting ability. 84 points

Chaos Spawn. 55 points

TOTAL: 2,100 points

The plan, which worked reasonably well against the Dwarfs, would remain the same use the large amount of chaff to divide the Beastmen army, and then pounce on it with my hard core units. What could possibly go wrong, I thought as JD deployed 3 Stegadons on the table.

Deployment

The Beastmen deployed with the two Bestigor units either side of the centre. Ungor on the far left and Spawn, Razorgor and Tuskgor Chariots to support them. One unit of Ungors and a unit of Raiders went into Ambush and the Harpies scouted ahead of the army.





The Lizardmen army consisted of three Stegadons, an Old Blood on Carnosaur, a large block of Saurses, three blocks of Skinks one with a mage and a cheeky Salamander. And with that battle commenced...

Turn 1

The Lizardmen began their advance heading towards the Beastmen lines, the Skink Shaman attempted to cast Urannion's Thunderbolt but Delithor easily ground the magic. All 3 Stegadons loosed their mighty bolts at the nearest Tuskgor Chariot but they all fell wide of target.





Both of the Ungor units arrived on opposite flanks and headed towards the Lizardmen flanks, the Harpies joined the Raiders to threaten the Salamander.





The rest of the Beastmen army advanced supporting one another. Delithor couldn't take advantage of his magical dominance unable to cast any spells.



Turn 2

The Lizardmen halt their advance, not willing to fall into the Beastmen trap. Though one unit of Skinks occupies the large tower. Delithor again stops Urannion's Thunderbolt, but one of the Tuskgor Chariots is engulfed by an Iceshard Blizzard. The shooting phase provides some action as the Stegadon's Bolt Throwers rip apart the Chaos Spawn providing the mutated beast some final peace. Between the three units of Skinks they take down 8 Ungor across the units. Meanwhile the Salamander turns on the Harpies engulfing them in flame, two of the beasts die and they flee.



Worried they will meet the same fate as the Harpies, the Ungor Raiders charge into the Salamander.



Otherwise the Harpies continue to flee and the Beastmen units move to set up their favourable charges. The Ungor units working to threaten the Saurses block.



The Winds of Magic drop to a poultry two dice, Delithor reinforces the Bestigor in case the Stegadons charge, rolling an 11. With only one dispel dice the Skink Shaman is powerless to stop it.

In combat neither the Salamander nor Ungor wound, but with the bonuses for flank charging the Salamander flees and is run down by the Ungor!!



Turn 3

Both the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen flee the Saruses hoping to leave them vulnerable to the Bestigor and Ungor next turn.



One of the Stegadon charges a Razorgor who flees in terror, the Stegadon redirects at another Razorgor who also flees.



The Carnosaur charges one of the Tuskgor Chariots. Meanwhile the Skinks move to block the Bestigor charge on the Saurses, though the Mage bails the unit!

In the magic phase the Mage finally cast Urannion's Thunderbolt with Irresistible Force zapping 5 Bestigor dead. The Stegadons again miss the Tuskgor Chariot with their Bolt Throwers. However the Skinks do better one block kills three Ungor Raiders who panic and flee the table, avenging the Salamander. Meanwhile the other two blocks unleash their volleys on the Bestigor felling an impressive 7. Leaving a much reduced Bestigor unit now unable to charge the Saurus.



The Old Blood does two wounds on the Tuskgor Chariot, in return the Tuskgors manage a single wound on the Carnosaur. Enraged it shatters the Chariot frame.



The Bestigor charge the Skinks who blocked them, who flee, but an impressive roll of 11 for the Bestigor means the Skinks are run down and the Bestigor move way out of the charge arc of the Saurus. One of the remaining Tuskgor Chariots charges the other Skinks who also flee, but another high charge roll of 12 sees them also run down. The remaining Ungor units charge the flank of the Saurus in the off chance they can have a lucky combat phase.



Meanwhile the second Bestigor block and the one Tuskgor who was not fleeing charge the Stegadon who moved out of position last turn.



In an impressive set of rolls the Harpies, both the Razorgor, the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen rally.

Delithor throws all his magic dice on to recast Wyssan's Wildform on his own unit now that it was toe-to-toe with a Stegadon!!

In combat the Ungor do as expected only killing 2 Saurus in return for 8 wounds, they both flee but the Saurus restrain. Delithor and the Razorgor both manage a wound on the Stegadon before the Bestigor finish him off. However the Razorgor's position blocks the Bestigor from overrunning out of the path of the remaining Stegadons, so they reform to face them.

Turn 4

The two Stegadons plough into the Bestigor, the Carnosaur unable to charge this turn moves up to threaten their flank.



Whilst the Tuskgor Chariot and Ungor Spearmen again flee the Saurus block.



Delithor again thwarts the Skink Shaman's casting attempts. The remaining Skinks shoot down five of the fleeing Ungor.

In combat five Bestigor are smashed down by the Stegadons charge, the Bestigor fail both the fear and primal fury tests. Whilst the Bestigor do inflict two wounds, the sheer number of casualties are too much and they flee escaping it.



The Ungor Raiders flee the table, but both Ungor units, the Tuskgor Chariot and the Bestigor unit rally. With the remaining Beastmen moving out of the Lizardmen charge arcs. In the magic phase Delithor miscasts Amber Spear wounding one of the remaining Stegadons, though a Bestigor is killed in the resultant explosion.

Turn 5

The Stegadons charge Delithor and the recent rallied Bestigor who flee again.



The Razorgor flees the Carnosaur, and for the third time the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen flee the Saruses.

In the magic phase the Skink Mage wounds itself casting Ice Shard Blizzard with Irresistible Force, it then miscasts again as Urannion's Thunderbolt strikes down two Bestigor the Skink forgets all of his spells.

The Skinks shoot down three remaining Ungor.

The Razorgors try to charge the Carnosaur on mass but they all fail their Terror test. Again the Ungor Spearmen, Tuskgor Chariot and Bestigor rally.

Delithor's apprentice casts Pit of Shades on the Stegadons who are positioned very close together.



One of the Stegadon's athletically jumps clear, the other plunges down the pit.

Turn 6

In the final turn the Tuskgor Chariot flees the Carnosaur, as does the Razorgor. The other long charges by the Lizardmen fail. The Skinks opening fire on the remaining six Ungor, killing five, but the Champion stubbornly refuses to panic denying the Lizardmen the victory points.



In the final turn all the Beastmen units rally bar the Tuskgor Chariot which finally flees the board. In the magic phase the Lizardmen successfully dispel the attempt to cast Pit of Shades on the remaining Stegadon. With no combat the game ends.

Conclusion

All that remained was to total up the victory points, the Lizardmen scored 403, whereas the Beastmen scored 685! YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I obviously took my first victory with the Beastmen calmly and in a professional manner.

In fairness I felt a bit bad, as for a large part of the battle I avoided JD's Lizardmen, but with most of their chaff destroyed, and my Bestigor units depleted there just weren't any battles I stood even a vague chance of winning. So discretion proved the better part of valour. In fairness I was very lucky as my Beastmen managed to make an inordinate large number of successfully rallies and I was lucky to lose so few off the table edge.

Rashnrak waited impatiently in the camp for news, the Ungor were nowhere to be seen, wary off the fate of the last messenger. His body was currently being devoured by a ravenous Minotaur. After what seemed like an eternity Delithor strode into the camp surrounded by his Ungor. Rashnrak barked a warning at them and they scattered, expecting bad news. "What are you doing?" roared Delithor, Rashnrak knew better than to confront one of the sacred Shamans, "these are the victors of Lizard Gorge.". "What?!" replied Rashnrak. "The Lizardmen are gone, they will not threaten us again. We won." Hissed Delithor. Rashnrak was confused, it sounded like the Beastmen had been victorious, but it had been so very long since he'd heard this words he couldn't be sure. Whatever this feeling was it felt deeply unfamiliar, in fact it was making him uncomfortable. All he knew was he had an urge to mark some territory and for some reason there seemed to be lots of scaly loo roll around.

As I said Month 6 is still to be written up (see excuses, Section 91.2), but I promise(ish) to get it written up for next week, probably. Actually I tell you what I promise to get it written up for Update 92, that's better. They'll never suspect that I simply won't write Update 92 if I haven't written the battle up. Bugger I wasn't supposed to write down that last sentence.

91.4  – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Coming Soon

I had tried to keep it a secret, but as all of you already suspect many know and only newbies aren't aware of. I can excitingly confirm that Saturday will see the start of the 3rd (yes third!!! Seriously have I not tired yet?) annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Everyday across the Advent Calendar I'll be delving into the archive to find a Warhammer Special Character that has either drifted out of the Army Books over time, is without model or appeared someone very strange.

Here's the level of research that went into it:



In case that's just not enough, I've updated last year's Advent Calendar and given it a shuffle, so you'll also get to see all last year's characters again with a note on how they fared over the last 12 months!!

Make sure you're back here on Saturday!! And make sure you tweet it #warhammeradvent global trending and world domination could be within our grasp!

91.5  – Get In Touch

That's it for this week, but hopefully you've enjoyed this truncated blog and aren't too annoyed with my lack of Ultramarine painting. I would be very much grateful if you could join us on Saturday for the first day of the Advent Calendar, remember #warhammeradvent – we could do with more Twitter followers/some Twitter followers!

I'd very much love your thoughts on all, some or none of the below topics:

• Which of my listed excuses most reassured you of my sincerity
• Motivational tips, or everyday tasks I can give up in order to find time to catch up with my Ultramarines
• Just how dam excited you are about Saturday's Advent Calendar fun!!!
• Or just nice compliments please!

Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where I've been tweeting more pictures of my bedroom floor, how can you resist?!

[roland murat]

Ooooooh advent calendar. Does the excitiment never end - apparently not.

On a more sensible note - I am actually looking forward to it.

[cunningmatt]

Ooooooh advent calendar. Does the excitiment never end - apparently not.

On a more sensible note - I am actually looking forward to it.

There literally is no end to the excitement I can generate... literally none.................

Glad you are looking forward to it, some real obscure guys this year alongside some classics!

[cunningmatt]

Starts tomorrow...

[Steve H]

I literally can't wait to receive my copy in the post! :)

[cunningmatt]

I literally can't wait to receive my copy in the post! :)

If you sign up to the £10 month Direct Debit subscription scheme, you'll get a free limited edition drawing from the Resident Six-Year Old Artist sent to.

[cunningmatt]

Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 1st December 2012



Yes it's back!! It's the run up to Christmas which can only mean one thing, well actually it means lots, but surely the most exciting of these is the return of the Procrastination by Numbers – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Yes I've managed to eek this feature out for a third year!!

For virgin readers here's how it works, every day between now and the big family bust up, there'll be a brand new forgotten special character concealed in the spoiler on this very blog for you to reminisce over. A forgotten special character is a named character (with their own special rules) that either no longer has a current set of rules, or has rules but no models. So across the next 24 days you'll see a range of classic special characters from years gone by, modern characters missing a model, all the way through to odd characters from White Dwarfs you never knew you never knew.

So without further ado here's today's Special Character:

[spoiler]
1st December: Durthu, the Treeman



Name: Durthu, the Treeman

Original Points Cost: 360 points – 4th Edition, 450 points – 6th Edition

Background: Durthu the Treeman literally has no background! He is described as a Treeman who wanders Athel Loren roused to action when invaders arrive. In other words a Treeman.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 197 (May 1996).





Last Appearance: White Dwarf 310 (October 2005), Durthu is given as a special character in a three part scenario entitled "Return of the Lichemaster".





Special Rules: Durthu is surrounded by a Swarm of Sprites they inflict D6 S3 hits and can be used in the shooting phase (12" range) or close combat phase. In addition he has the Treeman special rules, causes Fear, 4+ armour save, flammable, hates Orcs, Goblins and Dwarfs, can move in Woods without penalty and will fall over if killed.



In the White Dwarf update his special rules grew incorporating all the current Treeman rules plus a 3+ armour save (that reduces enemy armour modifier by 1), his Sprites now steal magic items as well as their missile and combat attacks and he can swap all his attacks for a single Strength 10 attack doing D6 wounds.



My Memories of the Character: I do remember this character, but only just I didn't really know any Wood Elf players at the time.

Person most Reminds me of: Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot, she hopes to become a Treeman when she grows up.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Given the Wood Elf army book hasn't been updated since the rules for Durthu were published in White Dwarf 311 the rules translate across perfectly, though good luck remembering them all in the heat of battle! Model wise you could use the standard Treeman, and as Games Workshop seem to have done stick a chopped up scouring pad to him!



[/spoiler]

Make sure you head back tomorrow for another special character, and if you just can't wait until then the exciting news is that I have compiled a classic calendar from some of the previous entrants you can check out right now!!:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49563;topicseen#msg49563