Tale of OG Gamers - High Elves

[cunningmatt]

V impressive, what did you draw it on, paint?
And yes the ruins, looked very good, it's why I did not recognise the 'programme'

Mainly drew it on Paint Shop Pro, with a bit of Paint fun as there's somethings I can't do on Paint Shop Pro (primiarily as I don't know how!). Have done a website and some diagrams at Uni on it before so becoming a Paint Artists if only it was the 1970s it might be a useful skill for a career!

[cunningmatt]

Wednesday 26th January – WEEK 4

Last week we focussed solely on hobby related activities namely Great Eagle painting, a full on exciting battle report and background for my Beastmen army in The Black Isle campaign, scroll up if you missed it! This has resulted in a number of complaints that this blog was disturbingly on topic, apologies I'll aim to correct that this week.

Incidentally (first aside of the post) I've noticed a lot of people refer to this thread as a "plog", whatever a "plog" may be. I have heard of the term "blog" and am familiar with that, as the Oxford English Dictionary defines it as a personal website or web page on which an individual records opinions, links to other sites, etc. on a regular basis and I get that this thread could be described as a blog, if the blog of a deranged man. However the Oxford English Dictionary is less informative with "plog", "did you mean plug?" being the only response it gives. Not so helpful. So I try everyone's lying friend Wikipedia which tells me that amongst mean plog could be:
•   Jobst Plog, director (1991-2008) of the broadcaster Norddeutscher Rundfunk – probably not what was meant in this case.
•   Plog, a Unix command related to the Point-to-Point Protocol daemon - again probably not, and I've undoubtedly lost the militant half of the hobby audience by mentioning Daemons in the post. Sorry.

So failing that I decided to try a website called Webopedia which claims to be a free (and that's critical as no one would pay for this s**t) dictionary of computing and internet terms, obviously not for beginners as you can only access it via the internet, so you need to have mastered basic computing (as in turning it on and finding the internet) in order to use it. Webopedia says that a "plog" is A slang term used to mean a political blog, or a  blog about politics – presumably Webopedia is unaware that political blog and a blog about politics mean the same thing. A blog about politics, really? Are people really getting informed about politics from this blog? I know I wrote a little spoof about politics in last weeks Black Isle fluff, but really a blog about politics? I think I mentioned Ann Widdicombe once, but I was talking about the job in which she's been taken more seriously – a "dancer" on Strictly. I fail to see what else this has to do with politics, yet it's called a plog. Hmmm. Still people call The Daily Mail a newspaper.

But given that plog is what some of my readers have called this post, it stands to reason that's what you want, so I'll try and talk about politics – don't worry dear reader I'll abandon if it gets too boring.

So what's happened this week in politics for me to comment on? GDP's down and there's a chance the UK could be plunged into another recession – laugh a minute. Maybe I'll gloss over that story. Also Andy Coulson resigned from his role as the Prime Ministers' Communication's Chief, blaming coverage of the News of the World phone-hacking scandal. Andy Coulson said coverage had "made it difficult for me to give the 110% needed in this role". Now there's lots to find disgusting in those last two sentences, lots I could pick on to be disgusted by – such as the fact that a valuable member of the government has been forced to resign despite no court proving him guilty of any crime, or the fact that it is alleged that The News of the World has systematically been tapping into the phone accounts of people illegally – probably not mine in fairness, or depending on your political view point that this is a man that helped get the Conservative party into a sort of half-power leadership thing. However the thing that has disgusted me the most is this part "made it difficult for me to give the 110% needed in this role".

This is because of the use of the term 110%, which is utterly annoying business type rubbish, obviously 110% can be used in correct terms, such as this post is 110% more off topic than last week – though in fairness I think it needs to be more like 500% off topic to be factually correct. But he surely can't be giving 110% of anything, he cannot give more than the whole to any cause. Firstly he's not defined what this 110% he's giving is of, is it focus? In which case he may die, as I think some effort needs to be spent not walking into walls and breathing and stuff. 110% of his shoe collection? Again not possible, unless some third party his matching his donations of shoes with one shoe for every ten? Or was he intending to give 110% of his love, meaning he's entered a love deficit in which he has given away more love than he actually has in his person, thus meaning he has to draw love in from those surrounding him like some emotional black hole? Come to think of it, I think I may be in love deficit – something to do with Valentine's Day coming up ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Where's a good vomiting smilie when you need one? The diarrhoea one doesn't quite do it justice.

Anyhow I suspect he means something along the lines of effort or passion or concentration, or something like that, which I believe is impossible. Because not only do you only have 100% concentration to give, you can never achieve that maximum level because your body has to do other things at the same time. I'm not scientist (well technically I am) but I'd argue that your brain concentration is broken up like this:

•   10% - Basic bodily functions. This is the part of the brain that keeps you breathing, keeps your eyes open and stops you urinating in your pants.
•   5% - Stopping stupid impulses. This is the part of the brain that stops you doing rash stupid things, like slapping your boss, sticking your hand in the paper shredder, falling off your chair, watching Countryfile or booking a holiday to Tunisia. This percentage tends to fall with alcoholic consumption.
•   25% - Thinking of things begin with S. This part of the brain varies between the genders but for men this consists of thinking about shagging and supporting your football team, for women this consists of thinking about slagging off men, slagging off women, shoe shopping and shooting Andy Gray.
•   15% - Better Things to Do. This part of the brain is always thinking of better things you can do, and generally it expands with boredom. This is part of the brain that wants to go home and paint models when you're supposed to be at work, or sometimes it works in partnership with "The thinking of things beginning with S" part of your brain to google porn when you're supposed to be making an online bank transfer.

See as you can see from my deeply in depth scientific stuffy that leaves a maximum of 45% of your brain left to focus on other tasks. So technically the most I can give is 45%, certainly not 110%, though I probably wouldn't advise saying this in a job interview.

Incidentally this figure of 110% has been subject to the worrying trend of cliché-inflation, back in 1997 Gordon Brown famously said he was 101% behind the then Prime Minister Tony Blair. Since then 101% is simply not enough and we're now at the bullshit figure of 110%. I imagine by next year this will be 115% and by the end of the decade it will have reached 500% unless the Bank of England keeps a hold of cliché-interest rates to keep it in check. Either way next job interview I'm going in and declaring that I'll give a squizillion-billion-gazillion percent, just to get the job, it's no more inaccurate than 110%. It's just part of a multitude of management jargon we're bombarded with, mindless words that mean nothing, here's some good ones I heard "waterfall information" – that apparently is when the head of a company tells his managers some information and they waterfall it down telling the people below them and so on and so on – couldn't they just call it "telling people" and then we'd all need. Another good word I heard this week is "gllocal" pronounced gleh (as in the first syllable of glue)- local, which means global and local, thus incorporating all possibilities and making the word entirely meaningless.

However they say you shouldn't mock until you've tried. So in an effort to test out using management speak, I have written the details of this week's painting in management speak to give it a try. See what you think.

From the "get-go" and the "pre-planning" stages of the project "I had in my radar" than I needed to "completeicate" the Bolt Thrower and the "diverse team" of Archers. After an "ideas shower" I decided that "you can't turn a tanker round with a speedboat" and that I needed some "360 degree thinking" and to "conversate" (meaning talk to) with the "heart and sole" of the team. So after a "painting 2.0" meeting ideas were "cascaded down", and despite "touching base offline" about next week's painting, I decided to continue with the "standard painting practice" as "I've got my fingers down the throat of the organisation of that nodule", however "my door is open on this issue". So after painting at the end of the day I palocked (combining painted and flocked) the bases meaning that there was "cross-party unity".

What a load of bollhit (combining boll... well I think you get the idea).

Painting

In English, I painted the Archers and Bolt Throwers as the other models and based them, here's the pictures and details:




Stage 3 – High Elf Archers







Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Highlighted Beastial Brown
Robes: Layered with watered down Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlighted with Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Washed Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh: Washed with Ogryn Flesh
Sleeves and Trousers: Layered with Sunburst Yellow
Sash and Quivers: Highlighted (Sash) / Drybrushed  (Quiver) with 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Hair: Drybrushed with Vomit Brown (Vomit Brown base) or Drybrushed with Bleached Bone (Dheneb Stone base) or Drybrushed with Snakebite Leather (Calthan Brown base) or Drybrushed with Beastial Brown (Scorched Brown base)
Wood: Layered with slightly watered down Bleached Bone

Stage 4 – High Elf Archers









Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone and Flocked with Grass
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Robes: Layered with Skull White
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlighted with 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlighted with Bleached Bone
Sleeves and Trousers: Washed with Ogryn Flesh, highlighted with Bad Moon Yellow
Sash and Quivers: *NO CHANGE*
Hair: Drybrushed with Bleached Bone (Vomit Brown base) or Drybrushed with Skull White (Dheneb Stone base) or Drybrushed with Bubonic Brown (Calthan Brown base) or Drybrushed with Snakebite Leather (Scorched Brown base)
Wood: *NO CHANGE*

Stage 3 – Repeater Bolt Thrower





Base (crew): *NO CHANGE*
Leather (crew): Highlighted Beastial Brown
Robes (crew): Layered with watered down Skull White
Silver Metal (crew): Highlighted with Mithril Silver
Gold Metal (crew): Washed with Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh (crew): Washed with Ogryn Flesh
Yellow Details (crew): Layered with Sunburst Yellow
Blue Details (crew): Layered with 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Hair (crew): Highlighted with Vomit Brown
Wood (bolt thrower): Layered with slightly watered down Bleached Bone
Silver Metal (bolt thrower): Highlighted with Mithril Silver
Gold Metal (bolt thrower): Washed with Gryphonne Sepia
Bolt Quivers (bolt thrower): Drybrushed with 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White

Stage 4 – Repeater Bolt Thrower





Base (crew): Drybrushed Bleached Bone and Flocked with Grass
Leather (crew): *NO CHANGE*
Robes (crew): Layered with Skull White
Silver Metal (crew): *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal (crew): Highlighted with 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Flesh (crew): Highlighted with Bleached Bone
Yellow Details (crew): Washed with Ogryn Flesh and Highlighted with Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Details (crew): *NO CHANGE*
Hair (crew): Highlighted with Bleached Bone
Wood (bolt thrower): Edges highlighted with 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Silver Metal (bolt thrower): *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal (bolt thrower): Highlighted with 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Bolt Quivers (bolt thrower): *NO CHANGE*

You'll notice that I painted up the Bolt Thrower's bolt rack and spear and shield for some decoration. However I mounted them both together on a piece of green stuff so they don't keep bloody falling over, which I based as before.



The command of the Archers have got heads from the other plastic sets to differentiate the unit. And for the models not holding bows I've used a quiver from the Spearmen set (for the Lothern Sea Guard variant) that has a bow in the quiver, so it doesn't look like it vanished. Doesn't explain where the rest of the bowmen keep their hand weapons, but there we go.



And I painted a plan view of the Bolt Thrower with some assembly instructions, ala Ikea, on the crew member's scroll:



So as of December the army looks like this:






You'll notice I haven't thought of any names for the new units yet, this is because I haven't thought of any name for the new units yet, but I'm sure it will happen!

Slight error occurred with January as I painted 20 High Elf Archers, but that comes to 245 points. Oops. So I'll roll over the Hawk Eye and Standard to next month, which is good as it means I don't have to do the bloody banner yet. Which means that 18 Archers including a musician is 203 points. And the army looks like this:






And so January is done a week in advance – shocking I know. Rather disturbingly I notice I'm in sink with Mike and his superb Wood Elves now. Last week we both painted Eagles and this week we both painted Archers see...

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1688.0

I'm slightly concerned that if we get any more in sink we'll both need to go to the loo in the pub at the same time, and we'll start getting deeply unreasonable for the same week each month. BECAUSE WE WILL OK!!!! Sorry just had a moment.

Talking off people I don't like (only joking Mike, it just made a good segway, and I don't want people to think this is a random selection of thoughts, love you really Mike – I'm so fickle), I had a rather unfortunate encounter on the tube, before I get there I'll need to give you some back story. Once upon a time... no let's not get that silly. Christmas just gone I was lucky enough to get a DS, you know about 5 years after they were first new and just before a better model comes out (this is how I am with technology, my mobile phone is the size of house brick and the laughing stock of the office).



Anyway the DS is very good for making Northern line journeys vaguely bearable. That isn't all I got for Christmas, somehow I ended up with this much chocolate...



I think people think I like chocolate, either way it's not helping with the diet. Incidentally the lethal dose of chocolate for humans is 22kg which I think is what I have here – maybe my family are trying to tell me something.

Anyway one morning this week a new game arrived in the post, perfect for the journey in, I thought. So I boarded the Northern Line torture device, I mean train, and as I reached into my pocket to pull out game and new DS a voice went "Hello Matt". I looked up to be confronted by a woman who I barely recognised, desperately I wracked my brain thinking of who they were, but much like when you put my career into Google no results came back. Then it struck me, it was someone who I sort of used to work with at my previous job, someone who didn't work in my office and the sole total of our conversations over the four years I'd been there were "Hi" as we passed in the corridor. Often I feel that if the sum total of your conversations is this, then there's a very good reason. Unfortunately she looked hell bent on conversation, and I knew she was going to travel the majority of my journey with me. Oh god. I don't know about you but the part of my brain that holds reasonable conversation and appears interested in what people has to say only wakes up about 2 minutes before I get into work. As my flatmate leaves the house before I get up, it's worked out that it can stay switched off until I turn the corner into the office. So 45 minutes earlier it certainly isn't configured for a 30 minute conversation with someone you've barely spoken to. Maybe I'm just a grump!

So she spent part of the journey telling me how wonderful her job was, I spent the journey wondering at what point it would be rude to get my DS out and ignore. She then told me what she was doing at the weekend, I didn't care. And then she told me how she was deeply hungover and today was going to be a struggle, I was thinking this tube journey was a struggle. As she got off the tube she told me how it was funny that we took the same journey into work and maybe we'd bump into each other again. No we won't because I shall now be boarding the Northern line in disguise lest we ever meet again, of course I didn't say this, I just said "Yeh, bye". Do these thoughts make me a bad person? Actually frankly I don't care, she ruined my day by being nice, if you see me before 11am on public transport don't be pleasant I don't want to talk to you.

I should just clarify that Ritchie if you're reading this story, this isn't a reflection on the fact that we got the same bus together on Thursday after gaming, I wasn't chatting to you wishing I could be playing my DS!

The Black Isle

Talking of Thursday night, how did the Great Bray Shaman Cameron get on, on Thursday night? (Another brilliant segway, I thank you!). Last week you'll remember that Great Bray Shaman Cameron landed on The Black Isle and whilst Beastlord Clegg successfully defended the garrison from the raiding Bretonnians (earning us 50 gold out of 180 – great) Great Bray Shaman Cameron went to raid The Empire. For a full rundown of that battle and all the units in both forces, check out last week's blog/plog.

The Beastherd charged out of the forest heading towards the Empire defences. A selection of artillery, crossbowmen and outriders awaited them, whilst a large unit of Spearmen defended the tower.

Cameron and Ed (Battle Standard Bearer) led the Deficit Reducers (Gors) in support of the Banking Bonus Bouncers (Minotaurs) heading straight towards the tower. On the flanks Hammersmith & City (Tuskgor Chariots) headed towards the cannon, whilst The Benefits Vultures (Harpies) scouting close to the Minotaur. On the closer flanks The Out of Hours GPs (Centigors) hoped to get some flank charges off against the Empire infantry and The Common Scum (Ungor Raiders) took advantage of the forest cover to support the line.

As Great Bray Shaman charged forward the Banking Bonus Bouncers assaulted the tower on the first turn, easily crushing the Spearmen but unable to drive them from the tower, however with the smell of blood on their first they became frenzied. Cameron also used Curse of Anraheir to limit the Outriders fire, and The Amber Spear to whittle down the Greatswords.

The Empire army responded by advancing it's infantry toward the tower, the Outriders bore down on Hammersmith & City. The Bright Mage summoned the winds of magic to unleash a Fireball with Irresistible Force frying 5 of The Benefits Vultures, the mage was unharmed by the magical backlash, but the remaining Harpy would not flee. As the great guns of the Empire fired a cannonball roared overhead missing Hammersmith & City, the Mortar, despite the presence of an Engineer exploded and the Outriders were unable to wound the chariots – Hammersmith & City smelt blood.

The Benefits Vulture headed toward the Wizard, its primary target of the Mortar destroying itself, whilst Banking Bonus Bouncers assaulted the tower again failing to rout the Spearmen but becoming more angered. City charged the Outriders who fled and just escaped the crazed driver, whilst Hammersmith closed on the cannon, the Out of Hours GPs positioned themselves so as to charge the Swordsmen.

The Outriders regained their confidence and swung round behind City without the Curse of Anraheir they easily destroyed City, whilst a cannonball spelt the end for Hammersmith. The Engineer unsure what to do charged the lone Benefits Vulture in the flank apparently individual models have a "flank" hmmm unable to wound he still won the combat but the Harpy didn't flee and instead turned to face the Engineer The combat reform test was the third leadership test the Harpy had rolled less than 4 for! The Swordsmen charged the Out of Hours GP easily overwhelming them with the remaining two scampering away, whilst the Greatswords charge against the Deficit Reducers was too long and the heavily armoured men tired.

The Banking Bonus Bouncers failed to destroy the Spearmen on the third attempt despite getting nine hits and wounding on a 2+ they rolled five 1s! the Benefits Vulture failed to hit the Engineer who failed to hit him back in a comedy slapping contest.

The Greatswords finally made the distance to the Deficit Reducers, as did the Swordsmen who hit them in the flank, whilst the rest of the Empire's units positioned themselves to fire on the tower should the Spearmen finally die. The remaining Harpy and Engineer continued to miss each other. Despite a flurry of attacks from Ed, the Deficit Reducers were soundly beaten by the Empire's swords but Cameron held the unit's nerve with a well timed double 1! .

Finally the Banking Bonus Bouncers killed the last Spearmen and claimed the tower now with 4 extra attacks in combat! The Common Scum charged into the flank of The Outriders and killed an impressive two, maybe they weren't so common thought Cameron, the objective simply being to stop them firing. Ed did a sterling job with the Beastmen felling many Greatswords, the Empire still won the combat with their weight of numbers but Cameron easily reassured the Deficit Reducers to carry on fighting. The Benefits Vultures and Engineer again missed each other.

The cannon fell short of the tower so the Banking Bonus Bouncers were safe, as crossbowmen were unable to penetrate the tower. The Common Scum killed two more Outriders breaking them but again they fled too fast to be caught. Benefits Vulture and Engineer again failed to hit! Again thanks to Ed's vicious work the Gors held with Cameron's leadership – though there weren't many left oh for 4th edition when Beastmen had 2 wounds! . However finally the Empire swords' weight of numbers told and the Deficit Reducers broke and fled with them, Cameron and Ed killed.

The cannon roared overhead with a shot striking the tower, what then followed was a heated discussion by everyone in the room as to whether the cannon did D6 hits on the unit, or D6 hits each causing D6 wounds – I knowing nothing of the rules read Woman's Own whilst the result was decided. the cannonball struck the tower and a shower of masonry buried the Minotaurs alive. All that was left on the Beastmen army was two Centigors who fled leaving the Harpy and engineer slapping each other as the sunset.

Another good game, Steve was a fun opponent despite shouting "filth" at every unit I deployed on the table, I swear if I'd opened a gingham table cloth on the battlefield and set out a picnic he'd still have shouted "filth". And I was so close to a victory, if it weren't for that dammed cannon – with the Outriders broken (more than I ever expected from the Ungor Raiders who cost 30 points and were just there to fill up the core allowance), the Crossbowmen only hitting on 7s and both the Greatswords and Swordsmen heavily depleted those Minotaurs could have held the remaining turn especially with 4 extra attacks. If only those dammed Outriders had run a little slower when the chariot charged them, then both would have been free to charge the cannon next turn – no way both could be shot, or if the Harpies deployed by the cannon (well I didn't know the Mortar was going to explode), though the comedy of the lone Harpy versus Engineer lasting 8 rounds of combat was worth it. I thought the Gors held up reasonably well and if I hadn't cocked up the position of the Centigors allowing them to be charged, they may have got off a supporting charge and turned the tide.

Good news was neither Cameron or Ed suffered a lasting injury, though when rolling a D6 for my gold I got a 1 – 10 gold. So despite winning one game, across 4D6 I'd only rolled a 6 – 60 gold, putting me second bottom. Will the Beastmen never win anything? Slightly worried that the next turns battles will actually be about wiping out the other army (given in the last two my army was left with only a handful of models), I think I do better capturing towers and sacrificing everyone else! Oh well I've opted to raid the Goblins, seriously they're Goblins how hard can it be?! So join me next week when I roll a 1 for my gold after a goblin-based thrashing!

On that note, that's your lot for another week, I would pop down for a game tomorrow but I've got tickets for the audience of Channel 4's 10 o'Clock Live, which means that in my spare time I'm going to watch people doing my job for entertainment. Hmmm. That's a bit like a secretary going to watch someone photocopy for fun. Oh well. See you next time.

[maelzch]

Another good update matt.

Fyi, 'plog' is a shortened colloquialism for painting log. Yeah, late night long words!

[Veldemere]

Well done mate, another great installment, I can't wait till this plog comes out in book form, I hope we all get mentioned in the acknowledgements!

I thought you looked twitchy on the bus, if it's any consolation I would rather have been playing your DS than talking to me!!!   

I would especially like to thank you for putting 110% into this plog, or at least 45%

[cunningmatt]

Fyi, 'plog' is a shortened colloquialism for painting log. Yeah, late night long words!

Ahhh that makes sense. I know too late, I should have gone to bed a lot earlier.

I can't wait till this plog comes out in book form, I hope we all get mentioned in the acknowledgements!

I'd say I'll send you a copy, but you'd probably be the only person who bought it so I don't want to cut into my sales by 100%.

I thought you looked twitchy on the bus, if it's any consolation I would rather have been playing your DS than talking to me!!!   

I didn't want to say anything.

I would especially like to thank you for putting 110% into this plog, or at least 45%

Only 15% was on MSN and watching TV at the same time. Loving Charlie Brooker's new show "How TV Ruined My Life" - it has!

[Veldemere]

Loving Charlie Brooker's new show "How TV Ruined My Life" - it has!

You and me both fingers crossed for the awards tonight!!

[cunningmatt]

You and me both fingers crossed for the awards tonight!!

Oh yes, good luck, again best children's programme creuly overlooked by the National Television Awards 

[Dave]

oh I thought plogging was porn log, where you record all the porn you've watched.  No wonder I'm typically disappointed by peoples plogs...

[Undead Dan]

1001 points, legal? I DENY YOU GOOD SIR

[cunningmatt]

You and me both fingers crossed for the awards tonight!!

Congratulations mate. well done on your win - didn't see you on stage, but then the whole production team could have been behind Eamonn Holmes, always possible.

oh I thought plogging was porn log, where you record all the porn you've watched.  No wonder I'm typically disappointed by people's plogs...

It is porn log, even my porn life is disappointing

1001 points, legal? I DENY YOU GOOD SIR

I am using "legal" to mean having a legal number of units, all units being legal and percentages within their appropriate limits. Technically if you consult the rules  The Tale of OG Gamers armies only need to be legal at 600, 1,400 and 2,000 points, other than that I'm painting as close to 200 points a month as I can. So there Mr Smartypants!  He he he