Tale of OG Gamers - High Elves

[cunningmatt]

Rumours are that after O&G this year, will be Tk and then Brett (more than 1 -2 armies in 8th Ed have to be released this year)

Oh dear, who'd have thought my New Year's Resolutions would collapse on the 2nd of January. Oh well!

Fantastic round up of the year buddy, and the blog has been a constant source of amusement, keep it up in 2011 sir! 

Many thanks! Happy 2011 to you too

[cunningmatt]

Tuesday 4th January - WEEK 1

So can I officially be the last person to wish you a Happy New Year, and can I also be probably the only person to welcome you back to your tedious life. Yes I'm afraid Christmas is over, the New Year is gone, there are no more Bank Holidays left and it's back to the hum drum tedium that is your life. Except you're a bit fatter, a lot poorer and you have a selection of jumpers you didn't want. Sorry. Unless of course you've taken a couple of extra days off, in which case you've simply prolonged the inevitable and essentially made the fall all the worse. All you have now is months of poor weather, higher VAT (from today) and no bank holidays to look forward – the next one is not until April 22nd, really that long away. Oh well, on the plus side at least New Year's is gone and done, perhaps it's me but isn't the worst celebration ever? Perhaps that's why they have it at the beginning of the year to get it out of the way? I mean talk about anti-climax, everyone waits excitingly for the clock to change to midnight, and then what? What changes? Nothing. Other than the physical number of the year, your calendar and the fact that you'll spend the next two years mucking up filling in forms, sometimes inexplicably writing the year as 2012 (why does that happen?), nothing has changed. I've had a series of New Year's horrors, dealing with drunken/hysterical friends, being rammed into pub/clubs/parties with loads of happy couples kissing over the New Year – my favourite thing as I'm sure regular readers will have guessed. Particularly highlights include a party where the DJ missing the New Year and announced 10 minutes late that we'd missed New Year, and being in bed with food poisoning over the Millennium New Year's celebrations after eating a dodgy prawn sandwich. I've even done the banks of the Thames, standing in conditions so cold that my reproductive organs have retracted so far into my body that I've become an Action Man, however to make it up my nipples have become so erect that if I turn round quickly I run the risk of knocking five people into the Thames. You stand there for hours, if you want a good position, just to see a clock strike 12am – at no other time of the year is this considered entertainment for good reason. Then you seem some admittedly nice fireworks, but you'd have a better view on telly. And then you have to get home, yes the Tube runs all night and is free – but all the useful stations have been closed to avoid overcrowding, so you have to walk to Zone 2 before you can even board. So this year none of that, I stayed at home like a miserable git with my parents, we watched Graham Norton, the Lottery Draws and Jake Humphrey – the Formula 1 presenter, who'd lost the BBC's annual sweepstake and was forced to endure the banks of the Thames so I didn't have to. We all had one drink, then played Wii until 2am. Perfect, and much like the rest of the year, miserable. Still I'm happy.

Well I say I'm happy, the Christmas period brings with it, its own ills – and I'm not talking about Christmas dinner washing up and pretending that you liked those Christmas presents that you really didn't. This Christmas I ended up feeling very old, there's many reasons for this. Firstly spending time with your parents, which I've come to realise is liking looking into a mirror of the future, you see yourself in thirty years time an inescapable fate, your destiny is to turn into this people no matter what you do, you cannot avoid it. It's like a science fiction movie where the characters see their own future and no matter how they try to avoid the future unravels as is written. Those of you under the age of 25 will be reading this puzzled, I spent all my late teenage years and early twenties convinced that I would be nothing like my parents, determined in fact I wouldn't copy their annoying habits, I'd be "cool" at the age of 60. Then somewhere around the mid-twenties the awful truth hits you, you are turning into them, well a hideous hybrid – almost like you're 50% your mother and 50% your father. You've started seeing their traits in you. I know I've started shouting at inanimate objects like my mother, sighing loudly for no reason like my father, generally being baffled by new technology and moaning that the buttons on new gadgets are too small, turning down the TV and wandering round the shops rejecting the arrays of clothing presented to me because "it wouldn't be practical". It's only a matter of time before I start going upstairs and by the time I get there forgetting what I came up for – though I've come up with a cunning plan to avoid this by only every living in single story buildings, clever eh? Then I'll be off to buy a beige cardigan and start a 1,000 piece jigsaw just for fun. Why on earth they need to do DNA testing on Jeremy Kyle, just wait until the child is 30 you'll be able to tell the parents – "yeah you do that annoying moaning noise when you're not really ill, just like him, he must be your father".

However that's not the only reason I'm feeling particularly old, whilst at home this Christmas my sister said "Is that a grey hair on your head", following up with "only joking!". How we laughed... until I throttled the bitch with a string of tinsel and shoved her face in a Sainsbury's Yule Log – the cow! Not that I'm overly sensitive, you understand. But worse than that, I got the news that everyone dreads, the awful news that you lay awake at night hoping will never come. The first of my university friends is expecting a baby. Yeah some of my school "friends" have been pregnant before, several times, but they were slags they don't count, these people are like you, they are your peers. I mean it was bad enough when they got into long term relationships, and increasingly you realised that you were in a minority and that single didn't just describe your relationship status, but how many of your friends have time for you any more. Then a year or two after you last spoke to them a card drops through your door inviting you to their wedding, laughably asking if you'd like to bring a +1 with you, if they'd actually spoken to you in the last year they'd know still terminally single, still sitting on the shelf as wanted as a Jedward Album, where even a 99p sticker hasn't done anything to shift you. I've just been through that face, there are two of us left unattached, bitterly meeting for coffee to bitch about all the friends that we haven't seen in years. Now the next phase has begun, the one that makes you feel even more alone, the baby phase – there all going to start popping them out soon. I'll be invited to baby showers, your last chance to see these people before they become internally tired, where undoubtedly well meaning but essentially moronically patronising friends will declare "don't worry I'm sure it'll be your turn soon", I have news for you the evidence suggests that it won't be. Who knows maybe even asked to be a Godparent – though if any of them have read this blog they'll surely be questioning my suitability in that role. It's all so deeply depressing and cementing two things, one I'm no longer young – if people my age are grown ups, and two I'm living my life through moaning about their lives. Oh dear. Still I'm looking forward to the next phase, the awkward and bitter divorce phase, at least I'll feel less single this time round. Perhaps we can have divorce parties, where I can cheerfully announce to the remaining couples don't worry I'm sure it'll be your turn soon". And some people say I have issues.

To prove that I'm getting old, two final "old people" things to address. Firstly, when did it become acceptable for shops to start displaying Easter Eggs so bloody early, I was confronted by the awful sight of Mini Eggs and Cream Eggs in WHSmith on New Year's Eve – it's not even the same year as Easter (at that point). This is entirely unacceptable, and I did the only thing I could, what any sane and reasonable person would do, I burnt the store to the ground. It was for everyone's good. On the plus side at least it wasn't Valentine's Day merchandise, you can imagine how I feel about that. And lastly here's a photo of the recipe for the starter I made for Christmas dinner.



Why do I have a photo of it? Well, the recipe book was very heavy and it was easier to take a photo of it and bring it to my parents than the book, I viewed the recipe off the camera screen – clever, eh? Why is the photo in this blog? Anyone's guess, I just found it here whilst I was uploading painting photos so thought I should bung it here. Essentially it's madness.

Right it may be the most depressing month of the year, I may be getting old and I may be more undateable than the Hunchback of Notre Dame but my life still has purpose – painting toy soldiers. Oh dear that sounded better in my head, than in print. Any how what's happening, it's all gone to pot hasn't it? Well... yes, sadly I missed December's painting deadline, though judging by the notable absence of a Month 4 results blog, I'm not the only one. However as you may have seen in last week's, well last month's, well last year's in fact last decade's entry, if you managed to wade through the Review of the Year that I've pledged to catch up this month. And catch up I will, not only will December's painting tasks be finished but so will January's. There I've written it in print, I've staked my reputation (technically I don't have a reputation, but who knows if I live up this promise I may gain one!).

So what's the situation? December's task was a Repeater Bolt Thrower and 2 Great Eagles in "Rare month". The yet to be named Repeater Bolt Thrower is at Stage 1, and here's how we got there:

Stage 1 – Repeater Bolt Thrower





Base (crew): Khemri Brown
Leather (crew): Scorched Brown
Robes (crew): 1:1 Astronomacian Grey: Skull White
Silver Metal (crew): Chainmail
Gold Metal (crew): Tin Bitz
Flesh (crew): Dwarf Flesh
Yellow Details (crew): Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Details (crew): 1:1 Enchanted Blue: Ice Blue
Hair (crew): Vomit Brown
Wood (bolt thrower): Khemri Brown
Silver Metal (bolt thrower): Chainmail
Gold Metal (bolt thrower): Tin Bitz
Bolt Quivers (bolt thrower): 1:1 Enchanted Blue: Ice Blue

Oh and if you're wondering why the table has changed colour, don't worry this is my parents house – the nice pine photography area will reappear soon, as if you cared!

It shouldn't take too long to finish this off, as for the Great Eagles. Well I took them to my parents with every intention to assemble and paint them over Christmas sadly, whilst I remember the Plastic Glue for the Bolt Thrower I forgot the Super Glue and Green Stuff so they're a little behind.

And for January, well whilst I'd like to add more killer units to my army, I'd like to keep it legal and I'm now out of core. The 208 points of Sea Guard will only sustain 800 points of army. So I've delved into last month's Battalion box and pulled out the 20 Archers for a bit more missile support, don't worry I'm not going for an all shooty High Elf army in the next few months so hard core fighting troops will be appearing. But I needed the core and I have other ideas for the Spearmen. They're all assembled, undercoated and packed. Packed? Why? All will become clear later.

But because I'm mad fool, it's not just High Elves I've been painting this Christmas, oh no, and no it's not any of they myriad of other projects I've started. Instead I've set myself a Beastmen challenge – 60 Beastmen to paint between now and the end of January. Why? Well part of my New Year's Resolution is to paint up some of the forgotten about projects on the painting table, after buying a Beastmen battalion back in March last year most of the contents lay unassembled, as I'd already bought some core units (the battalion came out a month late for some reason). To be honest I like getting a battalion more to have a nice box for all that army's bits to go in, more than the models – expensive madness I know. Anyway I decided this had to be painted, so I bought myself a second battalion (I realise this sounds like I've gone crazy) to combine the contents for two extra units. 40 Gors and 20 Beastigors.

I've already got 20 Beastigors, of the 5th edition models, but the new ones are good, so they needed to be assembled. Why 40 Gors? Well I thought it would be fun, and it would be my first hoard unit, yes it will probably die, but if I was playing to win I wouldn't be playing Beastmen. To be honest if I was playing to win I wouldn't playing Warhammer, Hungry Hippos suits my skill level better. I decided to arm them with hand weapons and shields, simply because I'd already built some of the new plastic Beastmen into a unit with extra hand weapons so I fancied being different. Normally I'd paint the shields separately and attach them at the end, but these Beastmen have a good chunk of their arms attached to the shields, and in many cases are holding them away from their body (where they are least useful, but let's be honest Beastmen are thick), so in most cases it wasn't too much of a hindrance to assemble them fully before painting. For the command models of the Gors I added in a few parts from the Beastigor set (didn't want my champion looking like the one I'd already assembled) and added a few arrow from the Ungor set to make them look like they'd be under fire – for my Beastmen army I'd decided to detail all of the command groups bases. Incidentally revenge was served on my sister, as a brief look at my models made her realise that Beastmen are better able to plat their hair than her, who'd have thought bad hair day means you've got less stylish locks than a half goat-half man mutant. Ha ha ha!

I've promised to give you a Beastmen painting guide before, so here goes, to be honest I find it writing in this blog is more useful for giving me a record of what I've done – getting old, I forget. Also it means when I check back at what I've painted I bump up the visitor's count making my blog look far more popular than it actually is, but don't tell anyone. So here's the guide, I should point out I paint my Beastmen in a different set of stages to my High Elves as I find it easier.

Stage 1 – Beastmen Gors

For the Beastmen there's a lot of messy drybrushing so that all gets done early on.







Over a Chaos Black undercoat:

Wood: Drybrushed Codex Grey, then Drybrushed Fortress Grey
Fur: Each model is brushed in one of the following three ways to give the unit some variation: A) Drybrushed Scorched Brown, then Bestial Brown and finally Snakebite Leather, OR B) Drybrushed Chardonite Granite, then Adeptus Battlegrey and finally Codex Grey; OR C) Drybrushed Codex Grey and then Fortress Grey.
Chainmail, where present: Drybrushed Boltgun Metal, washed Devlan Mud, then lightly Drybrushed Chainmail.

Stage 1 – Beastigors

Exactly the same as above, though I've repeated it purely for me as it will help me when I look back at what I did! Again command models have detailed bases.





Over a Chaos Black undercoat:

Wood: Drybrushed Codex Grey, then Drybrushed Fortress Grey
Fur: Each model is brushed in one of the following three ways to give the unit some variation: A) Drybrushed Scorched Brown, then Bestial Brown and finally Snakebite Leather, OR B) Drybrushed Chardonite Granite, then Adeptus Battlegrey and finally Codex Grey; OR C) Drybrushed Codex Grey and then Fortress Grey.
Chainmail: Drybrushed Boltgun Metal, washed Devlan Mud, then lightly Drybrushed Chainmail.

Stage 2 is then the basecoating, which I managed to get all done, as well:

Stage 2 – Beastmen Gors











Looks quite an impressive sight, if I do say so myself.

Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red: Dark Flesh
Horns and Bone: Khemri Brown
Base: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz then overcoated (is that a word?) with Shining Gold
Tin/Brass Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Cream Robes: Khemri Brown
Red Robes: 1:1 Mercherite Red: Blood Red
Stone: Adeptus Battlegrey
Human Flesh: Tallarn Flesh

Stage 2 – Beastigors





Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red: Dark Flesh
Horns and Bone: Khemri Brown
Base: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz then overcoated with Shining Gold
Tin/Brass Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Cream Robes: Khemri Brown
Red Robes: 1:1 Mercherite Red: Blood Red
Stone: Adeptus Battlegrey
Human Flesh: Tallarn Flesh

A quick word on metals with Beastmen. For my Silver metals, I obviously want them darker than my High Elves so start with Boltgun Metal. I find Devlan Mud wash gives a pleasing grubby, worn look without painting rust or blood on which can look a bit cartoonesque. I leave some of my Tin Bitz as Tin Bitz to give another dull non-precious metal to the Beastmen army. My gold is done in exactly the same way as for the High Elves. However to represent the Beastmen hierarchy the lowest Beastmen in the pecking order have the least gold – Ungors have none, the odd Gor might have a little (usually the Champion, in fact only 7 of the 40 Gors have any gold), most Beastigor have some gold and all Minotaurs have some. I imagine in Beastmen society you've got to be big to hold onto your gold for any length of time.

And that is where I am, all the highlighting is done in one final stage, Stage 3 (funnily enough), as I generally find it easier to complete each colour and move on, rather than updating each colour with one highlight then moving on as I do with the High Elves.

So that's it for this week, I did promise a Battle Report didn't I? Hmmm... it will come I'm sure. Tomorrow I'm off on holiday, to Gran Canira – the most southerly point of the European Union I'm reliably informed. So next week's blog will have an international feel, as I blog from the Spanish colony – well I'll be blogging when I get back but there might be some sunny pictures, particularly as the Archers and Bolt Thrower are coming to Gran Canira – some painting in the winter sun, what could be more relaxing? On that note I bid you Bon Voyage until next week, who knows maybe I'll have tales of holiday romance – doubt it though. Oh and apologies for any dodgy spelling/grammar haven't had time for a proof read this week (it may surprise you to know I usually do this).

[Draig]

It's funny, I had a similar thing recently. A rash of friends beginning to 'settle down'. Buying houses, having babies, getting married. It made me feel quite rubbish to still be studying at 28, despite the absurd number of degrees I need to teach First Year University students how to read Poetry.

Thumbs up for the Gors, they look very impressive indeed all together.

[Undead Dan]

'ave a good time Matt! Don't blog too much on holiday!

[shakyrup]

I started reading the blog with two words in my mind - Charlie Brooker

Unfortunately Matt, these two words have changed to Glen Cunningham ;)

Happy New Year - superb entertainment as always!!!

My New Years Resolution is to actually have a working army ! - There is hope yet, although being homeless is a greater probability at this moment in time!

[cunningmatt]

It's funny, I had a similar thing recently. A rash of friends beginning to 'settle down'. Buying houses, having babies, getting married. It made me feel quite rubbish to still be studying at 28, despite the absurd number of degrees I need to teach First Year University students how to read Poetry.

I know, doesn't it make you hate your friends? Or have I taken it too far again!

Thumbs up for the Gors, they look very impressive indeed all together.

Cheers mate.

'ave a good time Matt! Don't blog too much on holiday!

Many thanks, don't worry I won't blog until I get back. By the way what are you all doing up at 2am in the morning - go to bed 

I started reading the blog with two words in my mind - Charlie Brooker

This is not the first time this comparison has been made, at work I've been likened to him too. I was probably moaning about fluffy kittens at the time, or something equally inoffensive.

Unfortunately Matt, these two words have changed to Glen Cunningham ;)

Don't mention my father, it's too disturbing to think about. Last time I went round he managed to get broccoli in his ear. How is that even possible?

Happy New Year - superb entertainment as always!!!

My New Years Resolution is to actually have a working army ! - There is hope yet, although being homeless is a greater probability at this moment in time!

There is the worry about being homeless, but I'd still rather you come round tonight for a pre-holiday painting session rather than house viewing!

[fatolaf]

try being 36 mate with the mind of an 18 year old, depressing...

Have a good hol mate, and I look fwd to a great Hol rundown post...

[Draig]

I know, doesn't it make you hate your friends? Or have I taken it too far again!

I think hatred and pity in equal measures. Especially when they are moaning about the Mortgage or being kept up all night by a howling ball of poo and tears.

[cunningmatt]

try being 36 mate with the mind of an 18 year old, depressing...

Have a good hol mate, and I look fwd to a great Hol rundown post...

Glad to know the situation only improves as I get older!! Cheers mate, hopefully it will be a more tanned body writing here in a week's time!

being kept up all night by a howling ball of poo and tears.

We've all had dates that have ended like that, haven't we?... Just me?

[Dave]

I'm 31, seems the majority of the weddings are behind me but the babies are starting to stack up at some ridiculous rate (not mine I'll hasten to add).  I've also shot myself in the foot by having a 27 year old girlfriend, that means that she is just hitting the prime 'friends getting married stage' so I've got to go through a whole new round of weddings of people I know even less well.  The joy...

I discovered between christmas and new year that apparently I've got a knack with <6 month old children, when handed to me they instantly fall asleep and stay that way, it seems to be considered a spectacular trait by the women who insist I take them.  I have realised what this wonderful trick is, I leave them alone.  Women don't seem to be able to do this and keep bouncing, touching, faffing with them so they never fall asleep.  My strategy of ignoring them as much as possible seems to work rather well.  Who knew...

Anyway off those horrible depressing topics (I do wonder how I'm not terminally single, it remains a mystery to me) and onto more inspirational stuff.  The beasts are looking really nice, now ignore them and focus on the high elves like you were meant to!