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General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: cunningmatt on August 09, 2011, 10:42:14 pm

Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 09, 2011, 10:42:14 pm
Update 1 – Tuesday 9th August 2011: What's In A Name?

Welcome to this, long-awaited (by fools at least), brand new shiny blog, called Procrastination by Numbers, it's so brand new and shiny I even have a new avatar photo for it – look it actually features my ugly mug, thankfully out of focus and obscured by sunglasses that make me look like a prick.

This blog in sorts is the sequel to Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves. For those of you unaware of Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves, it was a half-arsed rambling attempt of epic proportions to paint 2,000 points of High Elves in 10 months – which for some inexplicable reason many of you enjoyed (I suspect Class A drugs had a role). If you missed it you can find all 42 pages, consisting of 600+ replies here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.0)

I warn you, that you may need to take a week off work to get through it all – and you'll probably find it about as long and unfulfilling as reading a Jeffery Archer novel (though without the niggling feeling you've given royalties to an ex-convict by purchasing his book – it's not that I'm not an ex-convict, it's just that I'm not charging). But if you can't be bothered with all that, and to be honest I can't blame you, I'll try and give you a flavour of what to expect. Procrastination by Numbers will essentially be a combination of painting blog, collection of bizarre competitions, retro battle reports and general ranting forum. Over the course of the coming weeks, months and maybe even years (don't push it), I'm as likely to discuss painting my new army as I am moaning about the tediousness of life, and as likely to discuss the latest Games Workshop products as I am to discuss how the Libyan revolution has personally inconvenienced me. So hopefully there'll be something for everyone or more likely nothing for no one, but we won't dwell on that. At this point you're probably getting a whiff of my writing style, essentially a ranting diatribe between myself and my ever critical subconscious, splattered across the page like a cross between a Jackson Pollock and an unsightly patch of diarrhoea – sorry it won't get any better.

For those of you familiar with Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves you're probably wondering why the change and what the difference is? Well to be honest I found the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves a rather restricting title, it was very frustrating to be forced to talk about High Elves week in and week out without talking about anything else, so hopefully here I can go a little more off tangent here! Secondly, now and again my rambling became a little out of control, in fact some of my posts were so long you could have only possibly read them if you had a full time job and the monitor at your desk faced away from all your colleagues – everyone else would simply be too busy to read them. So I am hoping for slightly more succinct, but hopefully just as entertaining (and maybe even a bit more often) postings, which are laid out a little easier so you can follow them – as you may have noticed in the excessive formatting at the top of this post. Broadly speaking content-wise you can expect more of what you are used to, we'll be following the growth of the OG Gamers – High Elves army as it approaches tournament size and beyond, plus there's my Beastmen and Warriors of Chaos who will be getting reinforcements including Storm of Magic-ifying them. Plus I'll be grappling with Citadel Finecast, giving you more battle reports, "What's In the Box?" is back, in fact all your favourites will return including loads more bonkers things you really didn't think anyone would ever do. The one thing not returning is our Resident Four Year Old Artist,... but only because she had her fifth birthday over the summer.

As always I strongly welcome your comments, criticisms and abuse, feel free to post whatever you fancy no matter how random. And do bare in mind, the more you post the easier it is for me to work out what you like and steer this blog in the right direction, as best as this blog can ever be steered anyway. It often feels much like Captain Janeway trying in vein to gain control of Voyager as it tumbles through a black hole with consoles exploding all around her. The one caveat is that I'm not going to moan about Games Workshop, why? Well firstly I think they don't do bad a job, it's always difficult trying to turn someone's creative pastime into a profit making organisation. It's difficult riding the tricky road of appropriate pricing versus profit versus creativity, but when you compare it to the cost of say supporting a Premiership football team it suddenly all comes into perspective. Secondly Games Workshop is the thing that binds us all together, without them we wouldn't be here together reading this mess (so feel free to address any letters of complaint about this blog to them), so it feels rather churlish to attack that which feeds us, besides if you want to do that there's countless threads on countless forums that will actively encourage you to do that. I'd like this thread to be a little bit different, besides with the rest of the world to moan about we'd never get round to Games Workshop any way!

With all that introductory spiel out the way, the one thing I do need to talk about is the name "Procrastination by Numbers", if you haven't got it yet (and I'm looking at you here Steven – though I hear you're a moderator now, so this will almost certainly be removed), then it's a play on the phrase "Painting by Numbers" – as that's primarily how I paint, and as you'll soon learn Procrastination often replaces Painting. It's clever,... ok?! And to be honest when you see the suggestions I had a few months ago for a new name, you'll see why I went with my own choice. Besides this isn't a f**king democracy, I'll do what I like.

Names are clearly important if you were to call your new family friendly theme park "Kiddy Fiddler Land" you'd probably find ticket sales would be hampered. For similar reasons I didn't go for Ol's suggestion for naming this blog – "Paintaway with Uncle Matt" which would have made me sound like a Jonathan King tribute act. Sadly not everyone in the business of naming important things has similar self-restraint, consider the PR genius who renamed Coco Pops to Choco Krispies, or the poor recent child of David and Victoria Beckham who has to endure sounding like a seventh generation lavatory disinfectant until they're old enough to discover Deed Poll. In fact celebrities have a lot to answer for in today's stupid modern world where children are no longer called Alice, Carol, David and Ben but instead Charmaine, Trixie-Bell, Blane and Jermajesty. No wonder children are badly behaved, I'd run off and loot London if you called me Fifi-Po Bell. Anyone who at this point feels the need to point out my erratic unit naming in my last blog needs to have their face rubbed up and down against a pebble-dashed wall – it was ironic sillyness, ok?!

So there you go – Procrastination by Numbers it's begun, you may never get your life back, I certainly won't, but then the resale value of it was so low as not to be a great concern.

In a bid to whet your appetite (yes, it's spelt "whet" not "wet" – the phrase actually means to sharpen one's appetite rather to drool all over the table - see you learn stuff here), I'm hoping to provide a barrage of posts this week to get the ball rolling. But don't whatever you do expect this every week, I've got things on, despite popular opinion to the contrary. Besides what else can I do when I'm barricaded in my flat to keep me away from the revolting masses? And I do mean revolting.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 09, 2011, 11:15:17 pm
so are you actually going to paint anything or just blog rambly stuff?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 09, 2011, 11:18:52 pm
Quote from: Dave on August 09, 2011, 11:15:17 pm
so are you actually going to paint anything or just blog rambly stuff?

Maybe... I'm busy procrastinating at present.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 09, 2011, 11:31:46 pm
Actually I am painting in the picture on the left - does that count?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Draig on August 10, 2011, 12:33:53 am
Us procrastinators need to unite, get a union and a secret handshake or something. Maybe tomorrow.

That said, I painted a Man O War ship today, well, part of one, so I'm probably out of the club.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 10, 2011, 08:10:46 am
Update 2 – Wednesday 10th August 2011: There's Nothing to Fear, except Fear itself - oh and Angry Rioting Mobs.

Ever sat at home watching a really good disaster movie, a very realistic one in which familiar places are being destroyed. Then it dawns on you that this isn't a disaster movie, it's the news, it's real - at which point your anal sphincter opens wider than Davina McCall's mouth and you need to reupholster your settee. Which is exceedingly hard when every sofa store within fifty miles is ablaze.

In case you've locked yourself in a secure vault, possibly not the worst idea I've heard all week, you won't know that over the last few days a number of places in London, and across the country, have decided to twin themselves with Tottenham. As civil disturbances, which are generally as welcome as a Jim Davidson comeback tour, spread the land. Rioting is generally better, I find, when it is happening somewhere else, Libya, Athens or Bradford. When it's happening down the road it's particularly scary.

The rioting has sparked a number of questions, such as what was the initial trigger for such acts? What are the socio-economic conditions that have caused such violence? Have the police been using the right tactics? And how is it possible to loot a Vision Express? I mean seriously, what was there to take from Tottenham's Vision Express? Ok, so there's the till, but that's just simple burglary, to loot you've got to do more than that. What did they do come away with hundreds of pairs of dummy glasses and a lifetime's supply of contact lens solution? Perhaps they turned up late and there were no shops left to loot, either the opticians or an estate agent and they realised that hundreds of pairs of glasses were better than a load of pictures of houses they don't own.

Ok, so I'm making light of a very serious situation with some very sad consequences. To some extent I have to, simply in order to keep myself sane – if I actually thought about this seriously all day and night my brain would have a fit, then explode and dribble out my ears, and we've already had far too much stray bodily fluid in this post.

The truth is I am supreme worrier, I can worry about anything and everything and frequently do. If worrying were an Olympic sport I wouldn't compete because I'd be worried the starting official might accidentally fire the gun when pointed in the wrong direction – seriously has that ever happened? Should I be worried? Thank god I didn't get those Olympic tickets. I'm the kind of person who walks past some broken glass on the street and worries that someone could fall over on it and DIE! Or that at any moment standing on a balcony the railing could rust and we'd all plunge to our deaths. It may seem overly paranoid here in text, but in my mind these are just the tip of the iceberg of the very real threats that plague my every waking moment.

As you can imagine this situation hasn't been improved by the fact that I passed through the corner of Clapham Junction, by Debenhams, just an hour or so before it descended into full scale anarchy on Monday on the way to the club, nor the fact I've been watching the BBC News Channel non-stop all day (thankfully I didn't watch Sky News or I'd have died in a fatal stress attack at about 11am). Television and film tend to have a very worrying effect on my psyche, far more that mere newspaper reports, radio or idle conversation can achieve. I'm not quite sure why that is, it must be something in the moving pictures convincing me that terrifying situations are indeed real – even when they're not. After seeing Jurassic Park 3, I remember being extra anxious walking the streets of my hometown for fear that a velociraptor might leap from a dark corner and rip my body limb from limb at any moment, this of course didn't happen, but it didn't stop my brain from cycling through the potential consequences in alarming detail.

I'm particularly "good", at imagining myself within films – not in an egotistical, "starring myself as the lead hunk" kind of way. But in "I wonder what would happen to me, if I was the character in the story", invariably these unstable psychosis based simulations don't end well for my imaginary self. I'm never the hero of any situation, simply the shrivelling wreck who lives a highly implausible but unfortunate life. Few of you may remember the 2000 film The 6th Day starring Arnold Schwarzenegger (you probably blocked it from your mind), but our good friend Arnie wakes up to discover that has been replaced by a clone who is currently living out his life and must battle to uncover the highly unbelievable, sinister multinational company plot that has given him two roles in this film. You probably remember it for the dodgy acting, two hours of your life you'll never get back, and the creepy dots the clones had on their eyeballs. All I remember is the fact that I spent most of the next week worrying about what would happen if I were replaced by a clone, and concluded that even though my clone would also be a pathetically weak individual I would lose out to him, and he would end up sitting all my university lectures. Obviously a pointless waste of my worrying energy which could have only been more misused, had I spent my time worrying about the prospects of entering a long term relationship.

So bad has this odd psychosis become that I can no longer watch end-of-civilization-epoch-shattering-apocalypse-disaster movies any more, as my chances of survival in the resultant imaginary sequel featuring myself are so remote that I end up deeply depressed. I don't know when this happened, as a child this didn't bother me. I remember going to see Independence Day at the age of about 12, and practically bursting with joy as aliens, who really should have renewed their Norton Anti-Virus subscription, blew city sized chunks out of humanity. I suspect that I'd been spoilt by a diet of sanitised children's television in which no matter the number of explosions or bullets everyone survived (except Bambi's mum) and no one had to rebuild their destroyed lives, as a quick swish of a broom tidied up even the worst of explosions. Perhaps if I'd grown up with the high body count of the current Doctor Who, or watching the surprisingly dark Captain Scarlett, I'd have had a more realistic appreciation of the consequences of alien invasion. Because it actually turns out having a sizeable chunk of the White House smack into your face at high velocity can really put a dampener on your career prospects. Certainly by the time I caught my last disaster story - when I accidentally watched the BBC's reimagining of Day of the Triffids last year, my priorities had changed. Rather than marvelling at the special effects, and odd casting of Eddie Izzard, I instead spent the entire programme worrying about the poor sods who'd been blinded by a solar flare and then eaten by a geranium. And then the rest of the week going to bed with a bottle of weed killer under my pillow.

Given that in the real world I'd lose out in a bare knuckle boxing match to any one of the Cheltenham Under 8s Ballet Class members, in my fictitious simulations of any of Hollywood's civilization destroying scenarios I meet the same fate. I end up surviving the initial mass destruction meted out to mankind, but in the process have my sanity utterly mauled by the horrific scenes I've witnessed, only to then die straight away in the "new world", as the "character that dies pointlessly, just to prove that even though the volcano/rampant virus/alien invasion is over, the world is a dangerous place". If I'd been in Lost I'd have been the guy who, after living through the trauma of a plane crash and emerging on the deserted island, promptly gets sucked through the plane's jet engine and chopped into a rather messy fifty billion piece jigsaw puzzle in episode one - just to prove to dear viewer how dangerous the island is. Still at least I wouldn't have had to live through trying to work out the remaining six seasons.

And in real life that's probably a good thing, I mean if civilization really does come to an end, what use am I going to be? How long after the Domestos style destruction of 99.99% of mankind, and the subsequent collapse of all society, will someone with the skills of a children's television producer actually be useful? I reckon it's going to be quite a while, in the meantime there's going to be lots of cold winters and my rotisseried buttock flesh will probably end up keeping those doctors and civil engineers from going hungry. Oh well, it's for the good of civilization I suppose.

So as not to end on a sour note, I'd like to go off on a complete tangent and recommend one of my favourite shows of the moment Only Connect which returns next week for a new series. The show's everything that ITV2 isn't, surely that should be sufficient encouragement to view? But it's essentially a logic based quiz-show which is unashamedly high brow, full of questions so fiendish that if you've scored zero by the end of the programme, you'll be quite proud. So make sure you tune in to BBC Four at 8.30pm this coming Monday, provided you haven't been vaporised by Lord Voldemort in the meantime. I mean it could happen... I knew I shouldn't have gone to see Harry Potter.

Oh and in case your looking for some painting here, there isn't any yet. But I do have a Warhammer based picture as I can exclusively reveal the first Warhammer casualty of riots:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers008.jpg)

Yes sadly due to my extreme cowardice turns out I clutched the box containing my Griffon a bit to hard on the way home from Monday's gaming session and so Althran and friend are currently grounded. Hoping that a bit of metal pinning should repair him, else I will cry.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on August 10, 2011, 08:21:26 am
Haha what a rather enjoyable blog!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on August 10, 2011, 08:29:44 am
Matt, If I were you, i'd steer clear of reading any Cthulhu related material.

(you may sleep better!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 10, 2011, 10:25:15 am
Oh my god! - They killed Althran! - You bastards!
Did you use your warhammer case as a riot shield Matt?

Only Connect is great. Worth watching just to see Victoria Coren give withering looks when contestants score no points, she is like some kind of TV gorgon (or female Paxman). I approach it like university challenge, if I know even one of the answers I count that as success!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on August 10, 2011, 11:33:08 am
I'm the same as you Jack. I sort of sit there waiting for the round without vowels and hop[ing I manage to get 12 points to win the show by myself...it actually happened in 1 episode.

Enjoyable blog Matt. Personally I always think people in disaster movies are very stupid and I'd be great in that sort of an environment even though I have no idea how to make fire or put up a tent or anything.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 10, 2011, 11:57:44 am
Have I won a prize yet?   :wink;m::

Great to see the blog back sir, prepare to be stickied.... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on August 10, 2011, 12:04:07 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on August 10, 2011, 10:25:15 am

Did you use your warhammer case as a riot shield Matt?


One of those kevlar battle foam cases could do both I think!

Good to have the ramblings back, i was starting to think about painting stuff myself!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 10, 2011, 06:26:16 pm
Wow! Thanks for all the nice comments, and I didn't have to talk about Warhammer!! For painting fans I promise they'll be some by the end of the week. To answer some of the more amusing replies (or more to the point, to answer things I can think of vaguely amusing things to reply with):

Quote from: Garzini on August 10, 2011, 08:29:44 am
Matt, If I were you, i'd steer clear of reading any Cthulhu related material.

(you may sleep better!)

I think it's best, it took me a month to regain normal sleep pattern after reading Animals of Farthing Wood.

Quote from: jackhoneysett on August 10, 2011, 10:25:15 am
Oh my god! - They killed Althran! - You bastards!

Yes, and to think the people of Manchester are moaning about Miss Selfridge - some perspective is required please!!

Quote from: fatolaf on August 10, 2011, 11:57:44 am
Have I won a prize yet?   :wink;m::

Great to see the blog back sir, prepare to be stickied.... :cool3:

No but we have a new rather pointless, prize free competition coming soon. Thanks for the stickying (is that a word, that doesn't sound dodgy), took me months to get that with OG Gamers!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 11, 2011, 08:17:51 am
Update 3 – Thursday 11th August 2011: Storm of Bullshit

Given my discussion of current events yesterday, it would be remiss of me to not at some point make mention to what has happened in the last month or two since I regularly contributed to the blog-o-sphere. Of course the biggest development in the World of Warhammer has to be Storm of Magic.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers010.jpg)

Warhammer: Storm of Magic is conspicuously titled "the first expansion to Warhammer" – which has sequel written all over it about as subtly as a programme ended with the phrase "to be continued". Given the impending course we've set ourselves down I would like to suggest a few potential expansions for everyone's (except Steve of Rage Quit fame) favourite tabletop game:

Light Gust of Cheap Card Tricks - New expansion in which all wizards have the same level of skill and likeability as Paul Daniels. Low level wizards would be able to master card tricks (such as going round Clinton Cards without the need to vomit uncontrollably in the general direction of all the Forever Friends crap), whereas Wizard Lords would be able to saw enemy characters in half, though they'd have to put them together again in the subsequent magic phase.

Isle of Death by Chocolate - Broadly speaking the same as the original Warhammer, except that all the models are replaced by various types of chocolate – proportional to the points cost of the model. So a lowly Empire Spearmen would be represented by a Cadbury's Chocolate Button, an Ogre by a profiterole and a Dark Elf Dreadlord on Black Dragon by one of those giant bars of chocolate that WHSmith seem to determined to force upon you with every purchase. When one of your models is removed as a casualty your opponent gets to eat it. On the plus side the models would be a lot easier to transport to games, though you might need a travel fridge, on the downside if you were to break and rundown a unit of Chaos Knights you'd probably develop Type 2 Diabetes.

Warhammer: T.O.W.I.E. Version - Rather than destroying the enemy army in Warhammer: The Only Way is Essex (yes I'm disgusted with myself for knowing T.O.W.I.E. refers to The Only Way is Essex) each army has to race to massacre as many members of the cast of The Only Way is Essex and Keeping up with the Kardashians as possible. Ideally played with the real members of the cast and a live tiger. It would be Games Workshop's first range where the models are 90% less plastic than the objects they are trying to represent.

To the Death - Much like standard Warhammer with the one important rule that if anyone turns into an anal rules knob, by asking stupid questions or taking ridiculously annoying combinations of units you are fully allowed to beat them round the face with a second hand flip flop, or the Warhammer Rule Book whichever was closest to hand. I'd buy several copies.

Storm of Magic is of course nothing like any of those supplements, instead it combines monsters and cataclysmic spells in a deadly mix designed to cut great swathes through your army. I haven't managed to have a game yet, but to be honest it sounds like great fun, provided of course you don't take the game too seriously – in which case you should probably be playing something more serious anyway like Russian Roulette or Connect 4.

Having had a good read of the book, I have to say I'm quite looking forward to adding some monsters to my armies, maybe a Great Taurus and a Lammasu, or a pack of Sabertusks. Although the whole thing has made me annoyed that I gave away my spare White Lions from my Tiranoic Chariot sets, to be honest I'm usually quite restrained at holding onto my spare parts, but the person asking was actually quite cute and I only agreed in a pathetic way to curry favour with them – god dam having a penis for a brain. Also I think my Tzeentch Warriors of Chaos army would benefit from having a hoard of Pink Horrors and Flammers marching alongside it – as everyone loves a pink horror fun bus (no I'm not still talking about my penis). So there we go I'm looking forward to playing Storm of Magic.

In other Warhammer based news Ritchie has returned to the OG Forum after noticeable absence, for those of you unfamiliar with Ritchie he's a bit like one of those legends of disappearing villages that you hear about. In that he will spend one week on the forum, but then disappear only to return twenty years later, and start posting again for one week. Or something like that anyway. I'm probably being rude, but he must be due to leave the forum any day now, so he'll probably never read this!

Of course there isn't just the Warhammer world, there's the real world too, and stuff's been happening there in the last month or so using my specially adapted Wheel of Bullshit it's time to have a quick review of the world at large:

Wind of Controversy

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers015.jpg)

Over the last few months the world has been aghast at the news that tabloid journalists are sometimes a bit naughty, which is similar reaction to getting shocked at the news that serial rapists don't send flowers on anniversaries. I personally was very angry at the news of all the phone hacking and decided to tell the News of the World personally, so I left them a message on Sienna Miller's answer phone – thanks Charlie Brooker for that gem! As the story rumbled on Rupert Murdoch got a pie in the face, in the most pathetic act of civil disobedience ever, particularly compared to recent events, it was  about as effective as protesting about the Conservative Party by farting in a lift in Milbank House. The upshot of this is that Mick Hucknull look-a-like Rebekah Brooks (who needs to look up how to spell Rebecca) has resigned, and the News of the World has closed – an act which will single-handedly create a 15% rise in weekly toilet paper sales. Obviously my phone hasn't been hacked, I can confirm this as no journalists have been reported to have died of unmitigated boredom.

Wind of False Compassion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers025.jpg)

Back in July, Amy Winehouse sadly died, despite my complete lack of cultural knowledge, I am aware of whom this person is. Now before I start, don't get me wrong, of course Amy Winehouse's death is a sad thing, I'm not saying it isn't. But I found it hard to empathise with the public outpouring of grief at the, for want of a better word, "importance" of this news. I was out of the country when news broke, but I was informed of this by a barrage of Facebook messages, e-mails and tweets all trying to tell me the sad news as soon as possible. Yet less than a week earlier scores of people died in a terrible terrorist attack in Norway, and no one found it necessary to communicate this to me at all. Surely no matter how talented Amy Winehouse is, the death of someone who essentially inflicted it upon themselves through abusing their body, isn't as sad as random people mown down by a madman. The very nature of humanity is that we can't deeply care for people we don't really know, maybe if we did the world would be a better place – though you'd be unable to sit through the 10 o'Clock News without sobbing your way through an entire box of tissues. All I'm saying is my limited amount of grief that I have for people I don't know is surely more deservingly spent on people other than Amy Winehouse. I found I had similar confusion at the nation's outpourings to Princess Diana, Michael Jackson and Jade Goody (who I suspect may come back to life in some outrageous publicity stunt organised by Heat magazine – but that's probably mean of me to say). And if you think that comment is in poor taste then take a look at this spectacularly misjudged report from ITV News scoring Michael Jackson's funeral against Princess Diana's! Apologies for the random Japanese voiceover in this post, but you get the general drift:



Wind of Foreigners

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers022.jpg)

Since I last blogged at you, I've managed to go abroad twice. One was a holiday to France – which was amazing, thank you for asking. And the other was a work trip to film on a cruise ship around the Mediterranean. It's customary for people who work on programmes filming abroad to tell you that it's all hard work and you don't get to relax and enjoy the places. Sadly I can't do that, because it wasn't hard work at all, in fact it was amazing and I got to see Naples and La Palma – and it was all paid for by my employer. You obviously now hate me, but if it's any conciliation my karma is balanced out by the fact that I have all the social and romantic skills of an undercooked Ginster's Pasty. So if you're jealous of my "holiday", then spare a thought for me wandering the streets lonely and unloved... like the personification of a Monday morning. More on my travels in the future.

Wind of Oops I Spent too Much Money

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers018.jpg)

It would be remiss of me not to mention the flurry of new Warhammer models that have come with Storm of Magic, I would talk about the Vampire Counts models but at the time of writing I've seen very little of them. The same cannot be said for all the Warriors models which I have already bought, assembled and started painting, like a feverish imp.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers014.jpg)

Obviously being a mere mortal, unlike the various automatons who e-mail in a picture of the newest model fully painting to the Games Workshop website within seventeen nanoseconds of its release, I haven't finished painting them yet. I'll be sure to add some piccies in the near future.

Talking of painting I probably should talk about that at some point..., errr..., yes,... maybe next update.

I should have course take this opportunity to thank our resident five year old artist, if you're new to my blogging, well... oh I can't explain it, it's frankly inexplicable.

And I should definitely thank Mr Shakey Shakey, again inexplicable, a.k.a. Shakey Rup, a.k.a. his real name, for my brand new avatar photo, which I rudely forgot to thank him for upon mentioning it on my first update. Primarily because I am a git. To make it up to him, I thought I'd show his handy photography off first hand, by showing you the full uncompressed image:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers026.jpg)

As you can see it's a very artistic photo of a model I've been working on, and me working on more models in the background. But out of focus, which is how I appear best in photos and incidentally how I appear best in bed – never underestimate the power of rohypnol, it's really given new life to the ugly.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 11, 2011, 01:58:58 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on August 11, 2011, 08:17:51 am
on the downside if you were to break and rundown a unit of Chaos Knights you'd probably develop Type 2 Diabetes.

Consider that sigged... On a very cold and wet day in Sweden, that made me chuckle, fortunately for my Mother´s laptop, I had finished eating before i read it.... :cool3:

Quote
Surely no matter how talented Amy Winehouse is, the death of someone who essentially inflicted it upon themselves through abusing their body

The tabloids have stalked her and Docherty for years, waiting for this too happen, some of the "tributes" that they had for her almst made me sick.
She was a okay singer who had one good album, who I doubt will be remembered in 50 years as some of the other singers who all dies at the same age (27) that the tabloids were tryig to lump her in with, Joplin, Hendrix, Morrison, Curbain......Mind blowing  :bash;m:

Quote
The very nature of humanity is that we can't deeply care for people we don't really know, maybe if we did the world would be a better place

Getting a bit profund in your old age there Matt.... :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 11, 2011, 02:06:29 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on August 11, 2011, 01:58:58 pm
Getting a bit profund in your old age there Matt.... :wink;m::

I felt I needed to balance out yesterday's reference to my anal sphincter.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 11, 2011, 04:12:11 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on August 11, 2011, 02:06:29 pm
I felt I needed to balance out yesterday's reference to my anal sphincter.

Karma........... :devilangel:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Cyberactivity on August 12, 2011, 08:24:13 am
Ol, did you just post "cobain...mind blowing"?? lol. Bit bad taste, at least not the best phrase to be using. lol.

This is the best kind of blog. Much like the black sun podcast it contains a little warhammer content and a lot of funny non related stuff. Gold.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 12, 2011, 02:37:27 pm
Quote from: Cyberactivity on August 12, 2011, 08:24:13 am
Ol, did you just post "cobain...mind blowing"?? lol. Bit bad taste, at least not the best phrase to be using.

Meh...I loved Nirvana but I thought he was an idiot for doing what he did..

However the pun was not intended, my bad... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 12, 2011, 02:52:56 pm
Quote from: Cyberactivity on August 12, 2011, 08:24:13 am
Ol, did you just post "cobain...mind blowing"?? lol. Bit bad taste, at least not the best phrase to be using. lol.
Awesome, I didn't even spot that.  I believe everyone should have the right to euthanasia but should be in a slightly more tasteful method than blowing ones own head off.  Current circumstances make me thing it should be taken out of certain peoples control and enforced upon them, though that's a slightly different matter.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 12, 2011, 02:56:30 pm
Quote from: Dave on August 12, 2011, 02:52:56 pm
Awesome, I didn't even spot that.  I believe everyone should have the right to euthanasia but should be in a slightly more tasteful method than blowing ones own head off.  Current circumstances make me thing it should be taken out of certain peoples control and enforced upon them, though that's a slightly different matter.

You didn't watch "T.O.W.I.E." as well did you?

Quote from: Cyberactivity on August 12, 2011, 08:24:13 am
Bit bad taste, at least not the best phrase to be using. lol.

A bit of bad taste is what I've come to expect (and love) about this forum  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Cyberactivity on August 13, 2011, 09:30:46 pm
lol. Sorry, it was just my twisted mind putting the pieces together.

Think its because I've been following BadTasteJokes too much recently. lol.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 14, 2011, 08:55:40 am
I'm afraid Amy Winehouse is at the farthest reach of my popular culture knowledge, so I have no idea who were talking about! Still as long as we're having fun...!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 14, 2011, 12:21:22 pm
Update 4 – Sunday 14th August 2011: Bring on the Brushes!

Ahhhhhhhhhh, my week's been s**t! I am not well, I feel exhausted, my stomach aches, I've been working long hours and my boiler's broken so I've been getting washed in a sink with a kettle for the last seven days. Selfishly everyone at work has decided to have an even worse, busier week so I can't even moan at them – how bloody rude! So instead dear reader I am moaning at you about it. It's crap, and I don't care if your life's worse than mine, because I am a lonely selfish bastard living a loveless life without even the companionship of a cat.

Now that's off my chest we can talk painting. You may have realised that so far I haven't mentioned or done any painting. Oops. Ho hum. Get used to it, to be frank. Alright, we need painting, there needs to be something to tie this blog together or it would just be a random collection of bollocks spewed haphazardly across the internet – which there's probably already some fetish website for anyway. And without painting there would be no objective for me to blindly stumble my way towards, like a mole lost in Ann Summers – sorry that's an odd analogy, I know.

For those of new to my blog, back in the old days I was painting 200 points of High Elves a month to get myself up to 2,000 points over 10 months, blah, blah, bollocks, bollocks, yawn, blah, I've written that so many times even I want to spew in my own face. Anyway I'd like to continue the High Elf army, there's a few bits and pieces (also known as lots of things) I want to add to finish it off – plus I'd like to try it out in a Storm of Magic game someday and could probably do with a mage or six to expand the force. I'd like to make some rules about how much I'm going to paint and how often, but I suspect that any attempt at such a plan will ultimately be more doomed than an appearance on Dragon's Den to try and get investment for an inflatable dartboard. So let's leave at I'll try to paint something every now and again – good enough? Oh you want me to be more specific... hmmm. Ok I will try, with emphasis on the try, to add something every month to the High Elves – I can't promise it will be 200 points though, it might just be one Spearmen, but even so I'll do my best to sell it like a demented shopping channel presenter even if it is nothing.

And if that wasn't enough of an in-depth painting plan, the recent spate of Warriors of Chaos releases as perked my interest in my slightly unloved Warriors army, that and the fact I am a bit knackered of Beastmen – I've really enjoyed it, but five and half thousand points of Beastmen, and only one win with them, may have been a bit much! So for a change I'm heading over to the other branch of the dark side, the Currys to my Dixons full of Beastmen, my Warriors. My current Warriors of Chaos army sits at around 3,000 points, and is themed around the god of Tzeentch – primarily because I like the fact that I can't pronounce that word, and because I like the colour blue – though I should point it's nothing to with stackable ward saves, or Gateway (the spell, not the supermarket chain that rebranded to Safeway in the 1990s). I simply don't have the tactical genius to have worked out, that these things would be useful in battle before I stated painting the force. The current army is a reasonable selection of troops, though it only just has enough Core to scrape through the 3,000 points and lacks any range of characters just a Hero and Sorcerer both on foot. So hopefully I'll be able to add a unit(ish) to this army every month or so, as well.

And just when you thought I'd bitten off far more than even John Prescott can chew, I made a pledge with my painting buddy Mr Shakey Shakey – a Wood Elf player from my last blog, who many suspect is a figment of my own imagination. Despite painting and collecting for about 5 years now, myself and Mr Shakey Shakey have failed to have a battle. So we've agreed a deadline for us to have a 2,000 point battle by the end of October, the catch being Mr Shakey Shakey has to finish (well at least assemble) his Wood Elves by then. I already have a handful of painted armies, so in order to give me a similar challenge – I've agreed to provide a battlefield and terrain to play on, by October – gulp. In fairness it's a good excuse to get round to painting up some terrain for my personal collection, I keep meaning to, but get distracted by units for my armies. But with all my current armies in a reasonably good place, and I have no interest in starting a new army until the new Bretonnian book heads our way (ok I do have an interest in starting many new armies, but I'm talking realistic interest that I could justify), now is a good as time as any. I'll endeavour to keep you up to date with both our efforts over the next few months.

"Good luck with all that painting" I hear you cry. "Thanks" I cry back. "Enough, get on with the painting", I hear you now cry. Alright, sheessh keep your hair on. Well I'll let you into a little secret, I got up to some painting over the last few months, whilst I've been absent from blogland. Back in June myself, Mr Shakey Shakey and some mutual friends (who tolerate us painting) went away to the south of France to spend some time in a villa and bake in the sunshine. Myself and Mr Shakey Shakey planned to use this opportunity to do some holiday painting. If painting is relaxing, painting whilst immersed in golden sunshine is the highest level of relaxation you can achieve without having to change your pants. I decided in order to get ready for this I'd base coat a load of models, as I find basecoating the most boring part of painting – at this point the model looks crap, my painting is always messy and you're nowhere near finishing the model. In typical me style I decided to pack far too many models and therefore set about basecoating far too many things.

The Scions of Tzeentch

For the forces of Chaos, I decided to attack my lack of core problem head on in a ridiculous fashion. Assembling a unit of 5 Marauder Horsemen, from a box I got ages ago that I never got round to opening, and a unit of 40 (yes forty) Marauders (on foot), there that should sort out my Core problem – when I say core problem I mean lack of core troops problem not the problem at the core of my very being, that's along way away of from being fixed.

Already having a unit of Horsemen with spears, I decided to go for the flails option, as nice as the hand weapon and shield option looks on the model - I cannot for the life of me see a point for fielding this selection of weaponry. For the Marauders I went for hand weapons and shields – some may think building a horde unit with a 5+ ward save makes me a git, but quite frankly I'm sick of people moaning my armies are fluffy so here goes. The Marauder Horsemen kit has a vast wealth of spare heads (I had 22 spare heads from two sets!) and shields, so I mixed these in with the smaller range on the Marauder frame to vary the unit a bit more. I also added some of the chains from the Marauder kit to the command group for even more variation – call me crazy!! I know!!

Because I'm a nice guy, I've even written up a little painting guide for you, should you wish to copy my work – and why wouldn't you want to:

Stage 1 – Marauders of Tzeentch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4008.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4013.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4021.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Shoes: Chaos Black*
Trousers: 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey*
Belt and Straps: Scorched Brown*
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Wood: Drybrushed Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey**
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Horns: Khemri Brown***
Hair: Either Astronomacian Grey OR Codex Black OR Scorched Brown****

*Across the unit the cloths were painted in various combinations of these three colours.
**To avoid mess all the drybrushing for the wood was done at this early stage.
***The astute amongst you will notice I forget to paint the horns at this point, yes I didn't realise until after I'd taken the photo.
****This model has no hair, but some of them do, so I included for completeness, because I'm nice!


Stage 1 – Marauder Horsemen of Tzeentch

The Horseman, which currently look like a pile of bits, were painted in a similar fashion:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4020.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4001.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4005.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4015.jpg)

Marauder
Shoes: Scorched Brown*
Trousers: Chaos Black*
Jerkin: 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey*
Belt and Straps: Scorched Brown*
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Wood: Drybrushed Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey**
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Horns: Khemri Brown***
Hair: Either Astronomacian Grey OR Codex Black OR Scorched Brown***

Horse
Base: Khemri Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
Flesh: Scorched Brown****
Mane / Tail: Scorched Brown****
Saddle: Scorched Brown
Cloth: Chaos Black
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz

*Across the unit the cloths were painted in various combinations of these three colours.
**To avoid mess all the drybrushing for the wood was done at this early stage.
***This model has no hair or horns, but some do!
****The horses were painted using the excellent
How to Paint Horses Painting Guide from the Games Workshop website http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?catId=cat210002&categoryId=500002&section=&aId=14700022 (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?catId=cat210002&categoryId=500002&section=&aId=14700022). To give the unit the rag tag feel that a Marauder unit should have the horses were all painted differently, the one above is a Roan, but there's also a Dark Bay Horse (Flesh: Scorched Brown; Mane / Tail: Chaos Black), Dark Grey Horse (Flesh: 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey; Mane / Tail: 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey) and two Black Horses (Flesh: Chaos Black; Mane / Tail: Chaos Black)

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

Look, I've called the High Elf part Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves, come on classic readers you know that's giving you a hard on!

Moving on.

For my High Elf army I decided I really needed to try and finish up the left over models from my two Island of Blood sets. So I decided to paint up a second unit of Ellyrian Reavers (the Swordmasters will come later). Don't scoff, but I've actually found the Reavers quite useful in my games swiftly scampering around the battlefield, march blocking, harassing smaller units with their bows and performing decisive/flawed charges into the enemies' rear (oh-errr)! Admittedly they're probably a little over priced, but I can see me deploying two units in one game, so here goes.

Much like the original unit, I've converted a standard bearer and musician (as I like my units to have full command) – though in fairness you'd have to go all the way back to Page 3 of the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves blog to remember this!

The standard bearer has had the icon hanging to his spear removed, and I've added a banner from the Silver Helms kit (yes I do own some Silver Helms, don't mock).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3822.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3825.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3826.jpg)

And the musician has a horn from the Archers kit added, with some green stuff modelled as a strap cunningly covering the place where the hand was removed – see not just cunning by name.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3830.jpg)

These were then undercoated in a very similar fashion to the original Reavers unit, however for distinction I swapped the positioning of the yellow and blue round – this is the nice thing about using two signature colours in a militaristic (as opposed to rabble) army, the fact that you can swap them to differentiate units.

Stage 1 – Ellyrian Reavers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3990.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3992.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3994.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Skulls (on base): Khemri Brown
Rocks (on base): Charadon Granite
Hooves: Chaos Black
Mane / Tail: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Horse Skin: Adeptus Battlegrey
Barding Cloak Outside / Rider Cloth: 1:1 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Barding Cloak Inside / Feathers: Iyanden Darksun
Barding Metal Trim / Arrow Flights/Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Wood: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown or Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown

And because I was clearly feeling ridiculously ambitious I decided to paint up the "on foot" model of Prince Althran, that I rushed out to buy from Games Workshop on day of release thinking it was a limited edition release – it wasn't, it's still available. Still I don't have a High Elf Noble on foot model painted up, so here's a chance to add that to the army. First of all, like all character models, I like to add a little detailing to the base if possible, so I've added a discarded belt strap with potions and dagger to the base (taken from the High Elf Prince and Noble kit).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3831.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3836.jpg)

And then painted up as follows:

Stage 1 – Prince Althran on Foot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3980.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3986.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Skulls (on base): Khemri Brown
Rocks (on base): Charadon Granite
Inside of Cloak / Sleeves / Shield Design: 1:1 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Ribbons: Iyanden Darksun
Shield / Outside of Cloak: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Wood: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair: Snakebite Leather

So with all the basecoating done we were ready to head to France, for painting and sunshine. Now it would be exceptionally mean of me to show you some pictures of the wonderful scenery and the clear blue swimming pool to flaunt my holiday in your face, but hey I've had a bad work and it's made me bitter so here goes:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011128.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011132.jpg)

Earlier in the week I promised Ol a little competition, and here it is, all I want you to do is try and answer this question to win a fabulous as yet undetermined prize (that probably won't be fabulous):

In the French villa that I went to stay in, how many chairs were available for people to sit on?

As a clue I will tell you that villa that sleeps a maximum of ten people, we're counting all outdoor seating, including that around our private pool, and for things like sofas and benches I've counted the maximum number of people who could comfortably sit on them. All I'll say is it's more chairs than I expected.

As a further clue here's a picture of a chair, in case you've forgotten what one looks like:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011246.jpg)

Post your answer here, closest answer wins. And when I've decided that enough of you have bothered to answer, I may allow you to see the second part of my holiday blog and how the painting got on – but not until then (though if you look at my avatar pic, you might see how the Elven Prince got on – dam didn't think about that).

Remember, in the words of Paddy McGuiness from Take Me Out "No Responsey, No Posty" – or something like that!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 14, 2011, 01:17:41 pm
Number of chairs available outside = 39

I thank you...... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 14, 2011, 03:31:38 pm
For clarification I'm looking for the total of all the chairs (including indoors and outdoors).

Ps thanks for the quote in your footer, I'm flattered!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Cyberactivity on August 14, 2011, 08:03:28 pm
28?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Marauder Mitch on August 14, 2011, 10:23:08 pm
1, lol julian nicked them all
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on August 14, 2011, 10:41:41 pm
I reckon 42 chairs, it is the answer to everything!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on August 15, 2011, 01:55:00 pm
always a pleasure to read matt, do keep it up etc  :cool3:

re the number of chairs i guess ooooooooooooooooooonehundred and eeeeeeeeeighty. (got to love darts  :thumbsup:)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 15, 2011, 03:04:04 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on August 14, 2011, 03:31:38 pm
For clarification I'm looking for the total of all the chairs (including indoors and outdoors).

Then I shall up my guess to 56 chairs.... :1st:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on August 15, 2011, 03:10:31 pm
61... I like a good chair!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 15, 2011, 03:38:02 pm
I'm a big fan of not tying yourself to a definite painting/blogging schedule (as you've probably guessed from the haphazard nature of my own plog!).

I'm going to guess that your villa had 70 chairs in it, on the basis that 10 people on a 1 week holiday would be able to sit in a different chair each day. Makes perfect sense.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 16, 2011, 11:40:25 pm
Update 5 – Wednesday 17th August 2011: It's just easier to hate Football.

Well done, I'm genuinely impressed at the number of competition entries we've had so far... however I've become demanding and it's not quite enough. So if you want to see any more painting I need more answers to the question:

In the French villa that I went to stay in, how many chairs were available for people to sit on?

Rules, terms and conditions and all that jazz in Update 4 – above, instead I have a confession to make, a big one, yes I am crushing on your sister – she's hot. I am of course joking. No, not about your sister being hot, about me crushing on her. I'm sure she's very hot, at least 500 degrees Celsius, but in fairness I've never met her. If I had met her I most certainly would crush on her, but respectively from afar so as not to upset you, but not like a stalker. Confused yet? Good I need you distracted so I can reveal my real confession without you flipping out, I don't hate football. There I've said it. I repeat, I don't hate football.

Shocking as this may seem I am however guilty of high level apathy, the fact that the English Premiership kicked off this weekend (except in Tottenham where everything literally kicked off last weekend) provided me with no stimuli other than as a source of topic for this here blog. To me football IS only a game, and much like Cluedo I neither love nor detest it. I don't even mind the World Cup, yes during the tournament there's a lot of mentions of football as people try to be topical. In fact all the commercials in the whole country are annoyingly about football, but let's be honest adverts are always annoying. The fact they now have a theme makes no difference. It's like swapping from one type of genital warts to another, nothing's really changed it's still very irritating.

Generally I've found though, that being someone with a non-descript ambivalence to football is harder for football fans to accept than someone who actually actively announces their utter disgust for it. For some reason it's easier for supporters to comprehend people who tell them that football should be banned, than to understand people who find England losing the World Cup disappointing - but disappointment on a par with going to the fridge and finding someone's drunk the last of the orange juice. Confusingly me sitting watching a football game coming up with comments such as "isn't their kit an odd colour", "oh well, it doesn't really matter" and "at least the best team won" is more infuriating to supporters than me simply not watching the game at all.

I'm not quite sure why this is, perhaps football fans find it easier to simply categorise those who hate footballers as the enemy and dismiss them as cretins, whereas those of us simply not bothered by football are harder to fathom. "They understand football and yet they do not convert – this makes no sense". This theory would at least explain the bizarre opinion the offside rule is held in. Stereotypically women are said to be football haters, and so it "therefore follows" that it must be because they don't understand the offside rule – so secure is this belief that Andy Gray and Richard Keys even presumed a woman who had studied football in order to become a lineswoman couldn't understand the offside rule. This all sounds perfectly reasonable until you realise the offside rule isn't that complicated, to prove it I'll have a go at explaining it "a player is offside if they are affecting play and there are less than two opposition players closer to their own goal", a quick look at Wikipedia shows that I missed two mini caveats (one that they must be in front of the ball, and secondly that you can only be offside in the opposition's half of the pitch), but broadly speaking I was along the right lines, and even with those caveats it's pretty easy to understand. Admittedly it is one of the more complicated rules of football, but that doesn't make it beyond comprehension. It's still after all far easier to understand than the rules to the National Lottery: In It To Win It – an horrendously complicated game that would be difficult for even Professor Stephen Hawking to play. Though that might be more to do with the fact he'd find it difficult to constantly wheel himself in and out of Dale Winton's red area (no smut intended... on my part at least, I can't speak for Dale). Secondly, even if I didn't understand the offside rule, I don't believe that makes football inaccessible. It seems a tad unlikely to presume that if a football hater was explained the offside rule, that they'd jump up screaming "Oh my god, how could I have missed this amazing game for such a long time? It now all makes sense."

In my university days I did used to try and get involved during the World Cup, but it is hard work, having to pretend to care more than you actually do, so as not to annoy your friends. Sitting there watching them turn into w***ers in front of the game – why do most football fans do this? Why do they feel it's useful to heckle people who are clearly far more talented than they are, through a television screen, whilst their obese frames fill up the sofa? I mean how would they like it if a group of professional footballers turned up at their office to shout abuse at them, as they mucked up using the photocopier, which is the effective equivalent of what they're doing. And whilst I do sort of care if England win, I've found that much like the Lottery, you don't have to actually watch the show to find out the result – it usually crops up in the news, and saves you ninety minutes of your life.

But whatever my feelings about national football, I can't even begin to force an interest in league football – well other than lying about supporting a football team to impress people cooler than myself (i.e. everyone) and trying to become part of their cool gang. If you answer any football comment without the phrase "I absolutely detest football" then instantly the next question will be "What team do you support?". This I've come to find is a hidden minefield of a question, it's too hard to give the honest answer of "whilst I don't really hate football, I don't have a favourite team" because instantly you become that confused group football fans don't understand. So instead you're forced to pick a team, to lie. But which one to pick? Unlike national football there isn't an obvious answer (local geography seems irrelevant in this matter), and this answer matters. In any group of people announcing your footballing allegiance (faux or otherwise) will at best end with you receiving a mixture of cheers and boos, like you're being watched by a confused pantomime audience. At worst you'll end up with a bottle-shaped extension to your face, so you need to pick carefully. At this point you can be clever by saying something generic like "the reds" in the hope that the questioner will assume you mean one of the "red" teams they don't utterly despise. Though a word to the wise here whilst there are enough teams that you might get away with "the reds" or "the blues", for some inexplicable reason this doesn't work with "the yellows" or "the greens", you'll look like a fool – don't ask me I have no idea what's going on.

In short you can save yourself a lot of time, anguish, and awkward hours spent watching the "beautiful game" with people who care far too much to be healthy, simply by saying you absolutely detest the game, even when really you're not that fussed.

Although there is one thing about football I do hate, and that's its privileged place in the world of hobbies and interests. It, along with other popular sports and media (by that I mean music, cinema and television) form a unique group of interests where you can know as much as you like about them – and not be classed as a geek. It's perfectly ok to know the results of QPR's last one hundred games and not be considered a weirdo, but express even a passing curiosity in anything from steam locomotives to crochet or from papyrology to ancient Greece and you'll be consider a nerdy freak for all of humanity to pour scorn upon. And god forbid you try to compare the importance of your interest in exotic horses, for example, to their interest in football. Once a friend of mine was upset that their precious football team failed to qualify from one pointless lower league to the next marginally less pointless league up, and was deeply upset. While their other friends mocked them, I explained that I could understand their feelings as I had interest very important to me, at which point they replied "You can't possibly understand my pain, this is worse than anything you've ever gone through" – what an unmitigated prick! How dare you presume my hobby to be less important to me than yours is to you, just because yours is bloody soccer (and yes I said soccer just to annoy you). And honestly "worse than anything I've ever gone through" – really? I was forced to play Rugby at school, despite being a pathetic feeling wreck of a teenager – seriously until you've been a wretched wreck forced to be the prop in a rugby scrum, you know no pain.

So in summary, I don't hate football, I have no problem with its existence and now and again I might even pass a casual glance of interest in its general direction – but it's a hell of a lot easier to just say I hate it.

And by the way football fans, if you are reading this, may I be so bold as to suggest a minor improvement to the game? Surely the random adding on of an undefined number of minutes at the end of the game, and then stopping the action at simply a mutually convenient point is a very unsatisfying way of ending a football match. Wouldn't it be better to do what they do in ice hockey, stop the clock for every disruption to play and simply countdown the last few seconds of play in an exciting, tense way much like the way they end the cooking time in Ready, Steady, Cook. Admittedly by mentioning Ready, Steady, Cook in my exciting idea, I haven't really helped sell it – but I hope you get the point.

"Come on the greens". Or maybe just "come on the green peppers."
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 17, 2011, 10:21:34 am
I have a staple response to football chat, "I'm scottish, I'm not sure it counts as football".  To which most people laugh and leave me alone happy in that their brand of football is superior to mine not bothering to question what team I'd follow in such an insiginifcant league.  There are a few exceptions to this those 'knowledgable' supporters who have heard of scotland and ask me Rangers or Celtic, unfortunatly this only highlights their failure to understand the intricacies of Scottish football as 1. those are both glasgow teams and I live in Edinburgh and 2. I don't care, scottish football has less appeal to me than english football.

If really pushed I'll say West Brom and if asked why it's because it's the team that my girlfriend supports.  That ususally does the trick of ending the conversation as choosing your team based upon a womans preference is even more baffling, I mean come on, she doesn't even understand the offside rule surely...

Back to more important matters and the question of chairs, being the systematic type that I am we have...
10 round a dining table
10 round an outdoor dining table
10 round the pool
10 in a lounge area
10 spread across all the rooms
and another 8 or so spread around the place for aesthetics, plus 4 at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, or should that be 6... Hmm.
(i'm discounting toilet seats assuming your count excludes them)


gives me 62-64 chairs.  Is this an 'on the money' guess or a closest wins?  closest wins I'd split the difference, but I'd not expect an odd number so I'll go with 62.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on August 17, 2011, 10:36:18 am
Last time someone at work asked me if I'd be watching 'the game' at the weekend, I believe my reply was "I'd rather sandpaper my own balls"

Suffice to say, I think I fall in the extreme dislike of football group!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on August 17, 2011, 10:44:10 am
Stop talking about football... It's still cricket season. Football starts in October...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on August 17, 2011, 01:00:19 pm
My chair answer is 52 as I did a rough count in my head about how many chairs I think were in a villa in france when I was there last year. I considered cheating and phoning up the villa and seeing if they would tell me, but then realised that it was prob a different villa that you stayed in so may not help.

As to the football question, I'm an Arsenal fan (one of the red teams Matt), I even go to quite a lot of the games. I totally understand people who are ambivalent towards it. As to be honest not a lot happens most of the game with the occasional bit of good or bad play that makes people happy or angry. I've often been sat in the game thinking it would be much better just to watch a 3 minute highlight reel of it all...yet I still turn up the next week. :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 17, 2011, 01:06:35 pm
Quote from: Steve H on August 17, 2011, 10:44:10 am
Stop talking about football... It's still cricket season. Football starts in October...

A Game that has become my number one sport as my love of football diminishes with every year seeing little thugs who can kick a ball (or a few heads) get paid increasingly sickening wages for doing very little
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 17, 2011, 03:01:34 pm
I leave my blog for one morning, and it degenerates into cricket talk. Any game that after 5 DAYS can end in a draw, surely isn't designed that well.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on August 17, 2011, 06:13:23 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on August 17, 2011, 03:01:34 pm
I leave my blog for one morning, and it degenerates into cricket talk. Any game that after 5 DAYS can end in a draw, surely isn't designed that well.

Yet the draws can be some of the most exciting games watching bottom order batsmen try and block out a bunch of overs to save a series. England at Cardiff vs the Aussies anyone?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on August 17, 2011, 06:16:01 pm
I almost forgot - 83 chairs
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 18, 2011, 12:09:30 pm
It's quite rare for Test matches to end in a draw after 5 days of play - but I think the fact it can still happen shows that the game is well balanced and the winner is usually the better side.

I used to be a cricket hater (probably due to being subjected to endless Radio 5 coverage in the car as a child - I thought making a kid listen to that much Geoffrey Boycott was tantamount to abuse), but now I've realised how tactical Tests can be I love it. I think more than anything it's a game for geeks who love stats (mainly because not much happens for long periods of time, and commentators have to talk about something).

I still hate football though.

Quote
I leave my blog for one morning, and it degenerates into cricket talk. Any game that after 5 DAYS can end in a draw, surely isn't designed that well.

Sorry, I'll get off my cricket-loving high horse now!

At least people aren't sharing tips on lube (yet...), as happened to my last blog post  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 18, 2011, 01:18:29 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on August 18, 2011, 12:09:30 pm
Sorry, I'll get off my cricket-loving high horse now!

At least people aren't sharing tips on lube (yet...), as happened to my last blog post  :wink;m::

I'm not sure which is actually worse. Speaking of your blog... is it -p?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on August 18, 2011, 03:13:36 pm
quite interested in your football comments matt. I quite like watching a GOOD game of football, but the problem is the amount of sheer dull week to week grind stuff where little happens turns me off from being a fanatical supporter.

One point that does resonate with me is the seeming obsetional need for trivia and statistical knowlage of the game to have a conversation with a big football fan, something i lack and have no interest in filling my mind with. Your point at the acceptability for football 'geekness' compared to many many other areas of interest was a good point.

As regards to teams i comit the heresy of following two teams, not just two but two from the same city! on opossite sides of the river! most football fans seem to consider this a hanging offence irrelevent of the teams in question
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 18, 2011, 08:50:14 pm
Quote from: sainthale1988 on August 18, 2011, 03:13:36 pm
quite interested in your football comments matt.

Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed, my flatmate's starting reading my less Warhammer related blog entries as he got curious. And he said the football one was "less funny than the rioting one", because "you didn't make any poo jokes, or talk about how your life was a train wreck" - always nice to know someone's enjoying my misery.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 18, 2011, 10:34:25 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on August 18, 2011, 12:09:30 pm
At least people aren't sharing tips on lube (yet...), as happened to my last blog post  :wink;m::
I've got my Vaseline packed for the ETC.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 18, 2011, 11:45:44 pm
Quote from: Dave on August 18, 2011, 10:34:25 pm
I've got my Vaseline packed for the ETC.

I've always suspected the ETC is actually a massive international orgy. Why else would everyone get so excited about it?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 19, 2011, 08:12:35 am
Update 6 – Friday 19th August 2011: Newsnight Review meets War Gaming.

In a desperate bid to actually put off doing any painting (and to move us on from cricket and lube), I thought it might be fun to do a review of this month's White Dwarf, in my usually random, pointless style. Provided this is even vaguely funny, and doesn't get me sued by Games Workshop, then it might become a regular feature. On that note I should point it's not my intention to simply transcribe this month's White Dwarf onto the web so you don't have to buy it, that would be illegal, and tedious. My aim is simply to poke fun in a respectful way, and maybe get you a little bit excited about Games Workshop, but not in a sexual way, that should be illegal. So start the fanfare of trumpets and be upstanding as we exclusively unveil this month's White Dwarf Review:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers033.jpg)

For those of you who like such things, the quote on the spine of the magazine is by Vlad Von Carstein and reads "Surrender and serve me in life, or die and slave for me in death.", which coincidentally is the exact translation of the Inland Revenue's Latin motto.

We start with the editorial, which as always seems to solely consist of the editor simply talking about how he's just rushed out and got the latest releases – implying he's either very well paid, or gets a hefty staff discount. Mind you how expensive can property prices be in Nottingham? Who'd want to live there. I mean seriously. £20 a week for rent and bills I should imagine! Lots of money left over for toys.

Obviously the Undead dominate the new releases with their exiting monster kit, full credit to Games Workshop who are getting exceptionally good at making these. And making them multi purpose, the Zombie Dragon/Terrogheist is no exception. I particularly like the fact the two models seem to have entirely different positioning – which is usually the drawback of multi-purpose plastic kits like this. But equal mention has to go to the new plastic clamp packs, allowing character models to be sculpted in all kinds of positions never before possible – such as the Cairn Wraith and Tomb Banshee touching the base simply by a tiny wisp of cloth, able to fully support themselves as each model weighs about as much as Kerry Katona's brain.

Anyone who wanted Morr terrain, will be very excited by the Garden of Morr – see what I've done there, I am just so funny! It is a lovely graveyard kit though, it would be perfect for my battlefield I'm supposed to be making by the end of October – but it does look like it would take me until at least July to actually paint. Oh well.

Then there's the Daemons of Chaos, I wondered when the notably absent Daemons of Chaos Battalion would be arriving on our shelves. And here it is, and can I say like all these box sets it is a dam site more interesting than the Beastmen Battalion – seriously three sets of basic infantry how dull could it be? Why they didn't throw any Minotaurs in, instead of the Bestigors I'll never understand.

Whilst I would have got excited when I turned the page to see the Herald of Tzeentch, I actually let out a little camp screech of joy at this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers034.jpg)

As I'm currently building my Tzeentch Warriors of Chaos army these are perfect, and I don't know about you but I hate it when you have multiple units with the same banner (you know if you build a couple of the same core unit and there's only one banner top available). With the banner being the most eye-catching part of most units, having a range of different ones I think is really important, and whilst these are £4 each, I think it's worth paying for some variation. Also being Finecast they won't collapse to buggery when assembled, hopefully.

Over on Page 15 stuck away in a corner is a rather important amendment to the Power Scroll:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers037.jpg)

With a solicit for people to e-mail if they think any of the rules are wrong, that's rather brave of Games Workshop isn't it. Wait a minute, is that the sound of an inbox exploding, somewhere in Nottinghamshire?

Then we get all excited about the Terrogheist – no I'm not going to tell you the new rules, buy your own copy! Though I don't think I want to face a Death Shriek, it sounds like the horrendous wailing girlie screaming soundtrack used on most ITV2 shows.

On that note, I think I quite like the addition of new rules to the White Dwarf, much like the old days. Warhammer really needs a constant stream of new rules and models to keep it fresh and exciting, and given that even if it were practical to release an army book every month you'd still have to wait 14 months before anything happened to your favourite army – this way it's quite nice that all the armies can have a little tweak a little more often.

We then get a token Lord of the Rings article, yawn! Poor Lord of the Rings players they don't seem to have had much of anything for a while.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers039.jpg)

Next we talk Sorcerous Pacts, as we try and come up with spurious reasons why our army would summon a pack of Undead to fight alongside it. I think my Dwarf army would summon a Daemonic hoard simply for the pleasing alphabetical reasons of having an all "D" based army. And to be honest I'm still to hear a better reason.

Then it's Battle Report time, and as a complete shocker both players have chosen to field the full range of new models available this month – who'd have thought. And I don't know about you, but I need more maps in the battle reports – my brain simply isn't as agile as it was at 12 and cannot keep track of all the units otherwise!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers041.jpg)

For the second month in a row there's a double page spread promoting Forge World's Warhammer and telling us all about the first Warhammer Forge World book, Tamurkhan: the Throne of Chaos "out now" – a quick check of the Forge World website reveals it still isn't "out now", just like last month when they said this!!

Next we're forced to vomit as some annoyingly good people paint some Warhammer monster models annoyingly well. It's all enough to make you feel about as inadequate as standing in a changing room of improbably fit people, waiving their freakishly large tackles around and fondling their six packs. Sigh.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers043.jpg)

Then there's a painting guide for the Dark Elf Black Dragon kit, which bizarrely mixes a patronisingly simple guide to assembling the kit mixed with a quite detailed painting guide for said model. Interestingly the Games Workshop website doesn't seem to have released a new painting guide for a while, which is a crying shame as I thought these were excellent and usually covered a good selection of the new units – which can be very helpful when you have no idea where to begin with a new model.

Finally we end with some article about something called Warhammer 40,000 – not a clue. This is followed by the usual boring bit at the back that no one reads. And then the news that Ogres are coming next month – excitement personified!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers045.jpg)

So there we go, my first ever review of the White Dwarf, crap wasn't it (the review that is, no the issue)? Oh well, it was worth a go, and put off me doing any painting for another week! Let us know what you think, answers on a postcard to the usual address. And maybe I'll do some more.

Oh and in exciting news, before I go. Prince Althran and Griffon are airborne once more:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers028.jpg)

Pinning your flying bases is definitely the way forward, whole thing is more stable than it ever was before. If only the stock market could be pinned in a similar fashion...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 19, 2011, 11:31:16 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on August 18, 2011, 01:18:29 pm
Oh and in exciting news, before I go. Prince Althran and Griffon are airborne once more:

Woohoo! Rioters 0 - Matt 1

Quote from: cunningmatt on August 18, 2011, 01:18:29 pm
I'm not sure which is actually worse. Speaking of your blog... is it -p?

I couldn't see that emoticon when reading this on my iphone, it just displayed a 'p' instead - I was trying to work out if that was supposed to stand for 'perished', 'postponed' (...'pants'?!)
It's not quite -p, just a bit haphazard. Expect a bit of Mumak action soon! I bet you can't wait!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on August 24, 2011, 10:51:06 pm
Loving this blog.  I'm about to start an army of undead tax collectors.  And how about Maggie Thatcher as the Banshee, Michael Howard for the Necromancer and Colonel Gaddaffi as the Vampire Lord in the Bunker?  Oh, and Anne Widdecombe for the corpse cart.

Would be good to give you a game with my new wood elf army sometime - 2200 points I can do.  Only 40 archers :thumbsup:

Althran is looking rather fine.  Any advice from you would be welcome on my Games Day entry (aka most ridiculous vanity project EVER) which you will find in Dagallery.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 25, 2011, 07:10:55 am
Thanks for the compliment.

Quote from: Toast on August 24, 2011, 10:51:06 pm
I'm about to start an army of undead tax collectors.  And how about Maggie Thatcher as the Banshee, Michael Howard for the Necromancer and Colonel Gaddaffi as the Vampire Lord in the Bunker?  Oh, and Anne Widdecombe for the corpse cart.

All I'll say along these lines is remember the time I did a coalition themed Beastmen army, all it did was give people extra vigour to trounce my army in battle. Are you sure you want that?

Quote from: Toast on August 24, 2011, 10:51:06 pm
Would be good to give you a game with my new wood elf army sometime - 2200 points I can do.  Only 40 archers :thumbsup:

That sounds like a fun exercise in taking all the models out of my case only to put them back 5 minutes later - you're on.

Quote from: Toast on August 24, 2011, 10:51:06 pm
Althran is looking rather fine.  Any advice from you would be welcome on my Games Day entry (aka most ridiculous vanity project EVER) which you will find in Dagallery.

Oh I hadn't seen this, will look now.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 25, 2011, 07:17:32 am
Update 7 – Thursday 25th August 2011: The Apocalypse – as told through the medium of Reality TV.

Judging by the deluge of comments I didn't receive on the White Dwarf review, I'm taking it your not fans. Ssshhhh, tough crowd. Now I know I promised you painting and chairs, but this wouldn't be Procrastination by Numbers if we didn't deviate totally. So here goes...

If I want to stare mindlessly at hundreds of pathetic individuals with meaningless lives and next to no social prospects I simply go and stand alone in a hall of mirrors and sob until my tear ducts run dry. Some people, who we shall from now on call the "crazies", instead decide to believe in their own social worth (the fools). In order to prove to themselves they aren't the lowest piece of scum in the universe, the crazies watch reality television. And who can blame them? In a world full of airbrushed reminders of your own fat imperfections, it can be reassuring to see other people failing at things and leading miserable lives – and annoyingly my friends won't do that (I've become the loser one). In the old days we had to make do with EastEnders and Chucklevision  but over the last decade we've "enjoyed" the rise of the reality show, watching people attempt (and usually fail) at singing, dancing, business, conducting an orchestra, masturbating a pig and feeding children to wolves – ok I made the last one up, but worryingly I didn't make the penultimate one up (The Farm – anyone?).

Reality TV now forms such a tightly run year round schedule, you could (if you were mad), not use a calendar and simply work out the time of year from which reality show was on at the time. January – March you'd be seeing celebrities injuring themselves in the campest show ever created for television Dancing on Ice, then Graham Norton would take over to find some member of staff for Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, then it's the Apprentice  and Big Brother  taking over for the summer, before passing the baton over to The X Factor  to run a marathon through until Christmas with Strictly Come Dancing and I'm A Celebrity...  joining the party and in a warning that if all three of us are on, you really should go Christmas shopping. However this year that meticulous plan has been ruined by the late start of Big Brother  this week (The X Factor  hasn't actually started any earlier this year, it just feels like that!).

Yep this week saw the double whammy with both The X Factor  and Big Brother kicking off. At this point I should declare a small conflict of interest that I have, in that I know someone currently working on Big Brother. Incidentally, whilst I'm on the subject of people I know, I should apologise for last week describing and old uni friend as a "prick" (particularly as they read it and worked out I was referring to them - dam) they're not a "prick" I just got carried away in my rant. Sorry, I've slapped myself round the face with a used tampon as punishment. Any way the new Big Brother  kicked of this week on Channel 5 (not to be confused with Channel 4 + 1, a common pitfall for the mathematically gifted person in charge of the remote control), and Brian Dowling has taken over the reins (in a jacket ever so slightly too small for him). Admittedly he is less enthusiastic than Davina McCall, but in fairness I don't believe it's possible for anyone to be more enthusiastic than Davina McCall without being declared a public health threat by the UN. He's welcomed a pack full of "celebrities", and I use the term exceedingly loosely, into the all new house. In a risky twist Channel 5 are running Celebrity Big Brother  back to back with the standard format, leading to the worryingly possibility that those of us not paying attention won't notice when the switch over has occurred. In fairness the line-up is a bit dodgy but there never was a mythical golden era when we'd heard of all the contestants in Celebrity Big Brother  so it's probably unfair to expect any better from Channel 5. As we met the contestants on launch night it became clear that never had the phrase "You'll probably know me from..." been so misused. For those of you unaware I'll give you a quick rundown of the "celebs" (that I've heard of):

Amy Childs – represents the rather disturbing trend of reality TV for inbreeding, where by someone gets on a reality show simply for having been on a previous reality show. In this case The Only Way is Essex, which I saw once and mistook for a government propaganda film promoting birth control.

Bobby Sabel – is someone... probably.

Darren Lyons – I have actually heard of before, but I'm not sure how or why? He looks like a genetic splicing of everything in the world that is poor taste, like a twat version of Mr Potato Head. His sole purpose seems to be to make Jedward's hair look normal.

Jedward – I find it hard to slag off Jedward, primarily because I accidentally caught myself in the mirror the other day (something I try and avoid so I don't vomit) and due to a combination of bad highlighting and lack of haircut, for a brief moment I thought I saw Jedward's aging father.

Kerry Katona – I find her much easy to slag off, there's something I find deeply irritating  about her, like rabies. Annoyingly she refuses to go away or fall under a train – too harsh? No I didn't think you'd mind. I remember her preaching to the CD:UK  audience about how great it was to divorce Brian McFadden (nice content for a children's programme), which I believe was the first time I wanted to slap her – since then my hands have become red raw just considering the mental imagery.

Lucien Laviscount – A successful young person, reason for us all to intensely dislike him.

Paddy Doherty – Another "star" from another "show" I've not seen, though apparently he's a former bare-knuckle fighter, so we can only hope he gets drunk and decides to reprise his role.

Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff – A woman who has a selection of names from popular Baywatch  stars, and that's about it.

Sally Bercow – Wife of the House of Commons Speaker, who seems to have simply gone in their specifically to annoy the Daily Mail, something she should surely be commended for. And how can she do any worse for politics than George Galloway did?

And finally Tara Reid – Famous for being in American Pie  and American Pie 2, though I watched both films and don't remember her. I suspect it could be a lie, and she isn't really famous at all. I mean does anyone check these things?

So with that line up, is it too much to hope for a biblical plague to sweep through the house? Please Channel 5, pretty please, it's not like it would be the least tasteful thing you have ever done, don't you remember that show that featured Keith Chegwin naked?

Meanwhile over on ITV The X Factor  arrived back on our screens in its usual demure and understated fashion as approximately one billion tonnes of pyrotechinques are detonated to a voiceover recorded by God himself (or voiceover artist Peter Dixon, but I imagine God sounds a lot like him, though hopefully he says more worthwhile things than "THE BIGGEST ARTIST IN THE WORLD" – note Peter Dixon can only ever be quoted in capital letters). The main attraction of the show this year is the new judges, who begin the show by being flown in, in four separate helicopters – not because they don't like each other, but because much like the Royal Family they can't risk flying together in case of a crash. And who can blame the producers for being cautious given the number of judges they've lost recently? Talk about careless it's like ITV accidentally organised a massacre at last year's rap party, and much like a cockroach nothing can finish off Louis Walsh. As a result this year it's The X Factor: The Next Generation, with a whole host of new judges – in fact when I saw the first wave of publicity featuring the judges I thought it was one of those dodgy spoof comedy shows, who really struggled to find actors to play the panel, bar a remarkably good likeness for Louis Walsh. Speaking of Louis Walsh, whoever thought watching back in Series 1 that of all the "talent" (talent by the way is media !@%$#%@ speak for people who appear in front of the camera, instantly implying that everyone else on the production doesn't have talent – which in my case is true), on the show at the time Louis Walsh would be the only one still standing by Series 8? I mean really, Louis? Back during Series 1 you could have got 10-1 on for Louis being sectioned by Series 3. Of course Louis did briefly leave the show in 2007 in a completely "unstaged publicity stunt" where conveniently despite being fired he hadn't booked any other commitments in his busy schedule, so was free to come back to the show on Week 2. Incidentally did anyone think in Louis introductory VT, that given they credited him with "finding amazing pop talent over the last 30 years" that showing Girls Aloud was a bit much – I mean we (and when I say we, I don't mean me) picked the final line-up for Girls Aloud, so who can he claim full credit for that.

The new judges are of course Kelly "Destiny's Child" Rowland who claimed "she's really excited by all the talent in the UK" proving she's clearly never watched The X Factor  before. Second Tulisa "I don't have a surname", who appears to have completed her community service looking after the other members of N-Dubz. And finally we have Gary "I'm not the new Simon Cowell, but I'm going to try" Barlow who, as explained by means of a VT montage. is as mean as Simon Cowell, except he's not, he just says "no" a lot like an evil doppelganger version of the Churchill nodding dog.

Other shocks are of course the inclusion of a new audition in Liverpool, because it's well known that talented people in Liverpool are unable to travel, so good news for them. And of course the bombshell hidden in the credits, that Dermot O'Leary has a stylist. A stylist who presumably was off the day they went to Birmingham and Dermot put on those beige chinos.

My favourite part of the whole show was seeing a woman being sick in a Morrisons bag, something that we should see more of on television, though I was disappointed that she didn't throw up on the judges which would have been "the new and refreshing thing" the British pop industry is looking for. This along with pointless statements, (such as Gary Barlow saying "this isn't just an audition, it's an X-Factor audition" – well durrrhh, what did you think all the X's emblazoned over the place were for – not bloody buried treasure), appeared to be one of the many things making up the show rather than actual auditions, I counted only five full auditions (other than the montage of people Gary said no to). Still that's only five people to hate. First up we got to meet Frankie who has the name of seven girls tattooed on his bottom (coincidentally I've got a copy of the Daily Mail tattooed on my bottom, so I can enjoy defecating through it on a daily basis), this provoked much cheering from the stupid women in the audience – proving that it's ok to sleep about so long as your pretty. He then went onto say "a night out with me would be mental", where I suspect what he actually means by "mental" is "not fun to any sane person". Annoyingly he was actually a half decent singer, and the judges let him through because of his "cheeky demeanour" or "being a twat" as I call it. There was then a boring collection of vaguely talent girls followed by Goldie, a mad women, (the one who was sick in the Morrisons bag). She sung a song no one could understand (not even her friends and family) then mounted Gary Barlow, this lead to Louis Walsh asking her to sing another song – I suspect he's getting the hint of Wagner already, fifty quid says she'll be one of his finalists. And then finally we had a previous auditionee who threw a foul-mouthed tantrum two years ago, he reassured us he had changed before having another foul-mouthed tantrum in which he called Tulisa every name under the sun, and then said she wasn't Cheryl Cole, so at least he ended on a nice comment.

So that's what we've got to look forward to in the way of reality television for the next few months. Still if that doesn't float your boat you could always while away the time like I do, making a likeness of yourself from Angel Delight.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers046.jpg)

And they say I don't know how to have fun.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 25, 2011, 09:36:02 am
I think the greatest tragedy of the London riots is that the Big Brother house was not burned down. Were we not promised that the last series would be the last, and this garbage would end!? At least it's on channel 5, and no one watches that.

I find it difficult to articulate how much I hate reality TV, you've definitely picked the worst two offenders there Matt. BB is just trash with no social or intellectual merits whatsoever and promotes this warped idea of celebrity which the UK seems to have, where people with no talent are praised up and down the country. People with real talent get no where near that attention (your point about the production crew being far more talented than any of the 'stars' was a good example!).

As for X factor, you only have to listen to BBC 6 to hear how much good new music the UK produces, but this never gets any airtime on TV since Top of the Pops sadly died. Instead we get manufactured unoriginal pop artists singing the same songs and simply making money for the 'box-headed TV childcatcher' Simon Cowell, rather than for struggling new bands. This has basically made the whole idea of a music chart or Christmas no. 1 defunct, because it's flooded with Cowell's clone army. In case I haven't got my point across, I really, really detest it.

Phew. I'm sorry, that was a bit of a rant. But it had to be said.  :blush:
I liked your angel delight, anyway!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 25, 2011, 01:12:56 pm
Not a fan then?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on August 25, 2011, 01:49:26 pm
Haha, of your blog I am
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on August 25, 2011, 03:58:14 pm
Oh the return of X factor and BB390 (or whatever) - several months of rubbish telly - roll on the world cup I say.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on August 25, 2011, 04:28:47 pm
I prefer it when the sh1te reality tv is on over the World Cup, at least non-entities and their inane bollock are easy to avoid watching or being aware of, whereas the bloody world cup will be all anyone talks about for the duration!

Seems like as good a time as any to become a recluse and get lots of painting done!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on August 25, 2011, 04:40:21 pm
Matt, is the prize for the chair guessing game a portrait of the winner in Angel Delight? As I think you have a real talent for it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on August 25, 2011, 05:20:29 pm
Quote from: maelzch on August 25, 2011, 04:28:47 pm
I prefer it when the sh1te reality tv is on over the World Cup, at least non-entities and their inane bollock are easy to avoid watching or being aware of, whereas the bloody world cup will be all anyone talks about for the duration!

Seems like as good a time as any to become a recluse and get lots of painting done!

Cool, I get to torture Lee for a month and a half. Win!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 29, 2011, 01:31:40 pm
Update 8 – Monday 29th August 2011: It's a Bank Holiday and I'm stuck indoors typing this s**t.

Had you noticed my cunning ruse? About two weeks ago I set a chair-based competition and refused to show you any more painting until I got enough entries. Well cunningly this bought me just enough time to finish painting up some models! Not just cunning by name!

Back in Update 4 (sorry I procrastinated!), I'd just got to the South of France, to be more precise it was a town called Castelnaudry, nearish to Carcassone and vaguely nearish Toulouse, should have got the resident five-year old artist to draw a map really. First order of the day was to set up a painting corner for painting to progress in:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011139.jpg)

Can I say I think regardless of the sun this is the most comfortable chair I've EVER sat in, god it was amazing. Then to be relaxing and painting at the same time I nearly drifted into such a deep sleep, that I'd have required a defibrillator to bring me back – Noah I know that's technically not medically true, but please go with!

And if you're wondering what sitting in that chair was like, here's my point of view:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011146.jpg)

Please try and contain yourselves at the sight of my legs, I know it is hard, they are sexy.

Should the sun get a bit much, there was also the shaded painting area:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011129.jpg)

With large table:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011136.jpg)

And outdoor sink, for washing brushes and topping up water pots:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011137.jpg)

Yes, this was luxury of the highest order!! I even made a friend:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011134.jpg)

Fred the pool cleaner. To be honest I've given up on human friends, I've found them harder to obtain and less reliable than inanimate (or in this case animate, yes his wheels spin and everything) friends.

And in a pathetic bid to show off some more of my holiday snaps and fill for time, here's some other things:

Here's the local gypsy caravan. And even travellers look nice baked in the French sunshine looks nice:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011161.jpg)

Here's the view, squint closely and you'll see the Pyrenees (they're mountains – thickos!):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011160.jpg)

And here's the secret door:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011143.jpg)

No one knows what's behind it, maybe it's a paedophile? Good, children are noisy and need to be punished.

Anyway that's enough procrastination, onto the important things, yes I'm going to bore you with some painting instead, because apparently that's what I'm supposed to be talking about. Who makes these rules?

The Scions of Tzeentch

Last time (back in Update 4), I called this painting topic "The Scions of Tzeentch" because scion sounded like a cool word, I had no idea what it meant so thought I should check.

Scion means: "a descendant"

That works.

It also means: "a shoot or twig, especially one cut for grafting or planting; a cutting"

Who says this blog isn't educational? Any way I prefer the second meaning, so here goes:

The Shoot or Twigs, especially ones cut for grafting or planting, of Tzeentch

So here's how we're getting on with the Marauders (technically it should be got on, because as these pictures from France proving it's clearly in the past – but seriously get a grip it's not important!)

Stage 2 – Marauders of Tzeentch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011074.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011076.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011083.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011087.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011090.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Shoes: Wash Badab Black*
Trousers: Wash Badab Black
Belt and Straps: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Layer with Dwarf Flesh
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold
Horns: Wash Badab Black
Hair: Drybrush Codex Grey (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Drybrush Beastial Brown (Scorched Brown Base)

*Admittedly there's limited point in washing Chaos Black with Badab Black, but I was just throwing the wash on over all the fabrics!

Stage 3 – Marauders of Tzeentch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011163.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011169.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011173.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011175.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Shoes: Highlight Scorched Brown
Trousers: Highlight Codex Grey
Belt and Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Flesh: Highlight with Elf Flesh
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight with Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver*
Light Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE* *
Horns: Layer, in triangular fashion**, Khemri Brown then Dheneb Stone.
Hair: Drybrush Fortress Grey (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Drybrush Snakebite Leather (Scorched Brown Base)

*For my Tzeentch Warriors I like to use the two different golds – Shining and Burnished, however under Gryphonne Sepia they can be a little difficult to distinguish, so I tend to complete Shining Gold and this stage and then do the Burnished Gold in the next stage – it's far simpler!
**There probably should be a word for triangular layering, I have referred to it as feathering before, but have been told this is wrong! Basically I paint smaller and smaller triangle to the tip of the horn to give the gradient shown.


Stage 4 – Marauders of Tzeentch

Ok, so I didn't quite get this bit done in France, but at least something's been achieved – stop having a go, you're like my mum!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers195.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers197.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers180.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers183.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers189.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers192.jpg)

Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone, then flocked with Scorched Grass and then Snow.
Shoes: *NO CHANGE*
Trousers: *NO CHANGE*
Belt and Straps: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Wash with Ogryn Flesh, then layer with Elf Flesh.*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Dark Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Light Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold : Mithril Silver*
Horns: Layer with Bleached Bone
Hair: Wash with Badab Black (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Wash with Devlan Mud (Scorched Brown Base)

*With the benefit of hindsight, I'd have not bothered with the Elf Flesh in Stage 3, but after I'd used the Ogryn Flesh they appeared a bit too tanned, so I re-highlighted to toned down, it's been a little while since I last did Marauders, so I forgot the exact order I used.

Stage 2 – Marauder Horsemen of Tzeentch

And here's the Horsemen, (the guide for the riders will look a little familiar), apologies for the exceptionally poor picture of the riders:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011098.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011105.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011116.jpg)

Marauder
Shoes: Wash Badab Black
Trousers: Wash Badab Black
Jerkin: Wash Badab Black
Belt and Straps: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Light Gold Metal: Khemri Brown
Horns: Wash Badab Black
Hair: Drybrush Codex Grey (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Drybrush Beastial Brown (Scorched Brown Base)

Horse
Base: *NO CHANGE*
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown : Graveyard Earth*
Mane / Tail: Drybrush 1:1 Scorched Brown : Graveyard Earth*
Saddle: Wash Badab Black
Cloth: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold

*As for Stage 1 the horses were painted using the How to Paint Horses Painting Guide from the Games Workshop website http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?catId=cat210002&categoryId=500002&section=&aId=14700022 (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/content/article.jsp?catId=cat210002&categoryId=500002&section=&aId=14700022). The one above is a Roan, but for the others:
Dark Bay Horse (Flesh: 1:1 Scorched Brown : Scab Red; Mane / Tail: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey)
Dark Grey Horse (Flesh: Codex Grey; Mane / Tail: Drybrush Codex Grey)
Black Horses (Flesh: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey : Chaos Black; Mane / Tail: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey : Chaos Black)


Stage 3 – Marauder Horsemen of Tzeentch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011178.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011180.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011183.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011199.jpg)

Marauder
Shoes: Highlight Beastial Brown
Trousers: Highlight Scorched Brown
Jerkin: Highlight Codex Grey
Belt and Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dark Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver*
Light Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE* *
Horns: Layer, in triangular fashion**, Khemri Brown then Dheneb Stone.
Hair: Drybrush Fortress Grey (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Drybrush Snakebite Leather (Scorched Brown Base)

Horse
Base: *NO CHANGE*
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight watered down Graveyard Earth**
Mane / Tail: Light drybrush Graveyard Earth**
Saddle: Highlight Beastial Brown
Cloth: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dark Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver*
Light Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE* *


*See Marauder guide for notes on painting gold.
* For the other horses:
Dark Bay Horse (Flesh: 1:1:1 Scorched Brown : Scab Red : Dark Flesh; Mane / Tail: Drybrush Fortress Grey)
Dark Grey Horse (Flesh: 1:1 Codex Grey : Kommando Khaki; Mane / Tail: 1:1 Codex Grey : Kommando Khaki)
Black Horses (Flesh: Drybrush Codex Grey; Mane / Tail: Drybrush Codex Grey)


Stage 4 – Marauder Horsemen of Tzeentch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers211.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers215.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers219.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers202.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers207.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers209.jpg)

Marauder
Shoes: *NO CHANGE*
Trousers: *NO CHANGE*
Jerkin: *NO CHANGE*
Belt and Straps: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Wash with Ogryn Flesh, then layer with Elf Flesh.*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Dark Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Light Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold : Mithril Silver
Horns: Layer with Bleached Bone
Hair: Wash with Badab Black (Astronomacian Grey OR Chaos Black Base) OR Wash with Devlan Mud (Scorched Brown Base)

Horse
Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone, then flocked with Scorched Grass and then Snow.
Hooves: Highlight Codex Grey
Flesh: Wash watered down Badab Black**
Mane / Tail: Wash watered down Badab Black**
Saddle: *NO CHANGE*
Cloth: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Dark Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Light Gold Metal: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold : Mithril Silver


*See Marauder guide for notes on painting flesh.
* For the other horses:
Dark Bay Horse (Flesh: *NO CHANGE*; Mane / Tail: *NO CHANGE*)
Dark Grey Horse (Flesh: Wash watered down Badab Black; Mane / Tail: Wash watered down Badab Black)
Black Horses (Flesh: Wash watered down Badab Black; Mane / Tail: Wash watered down Badab Black)


Guess the Number of Chairs Competition

It has been commented there is little blue on my Tzeentch colour scheme, however I find the Asurmen Blue adds blue in a nice mystic way on the armour (befitting for Tzeentch), and then allows me to add blue cloth to my more expensive units and characters and make them feel special. So there, stop moaning!

Phew and there you go forty-five core models all done! Time for a lie down. The finished High Elves and the results to the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition will follow on Thursday morning, if you haven't already done so this is your final chance to enter!

As a reminder I was asking you to guess the number of chairs in my French villa, the rules, are that you have to guess the total number of chairs (both inside and outside the villa). The villa sleeps 10 at maximum, and benches and sofas are being counted as the maximum they'd comfortably sit.

Here are the current entrants in numerical order, obviously you can't chose the numbers they've chosen:

Marauder Mitch – 1
Cyberactivity – 28
Maelzch – 42
Crompton – 52
Fatolaf – 56
Steve H – 61
Dave – 62
Jackhoneysett – 70
Roland Murat – 83
Sainthale 1988 – 180

There is a fabulous prize to be won, I've actually thought of one! And it's even a little bit racist, what more could you want (I joke, sort of!).

So keep those entrants coming in, more painting/moaning/chairs/France later in the week!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 29, 2011, 02:15:44 pm
having seen some more pictures I'm feeling my estimate may be a little on the high side given there appears to be a total of 1 chair beside the pool!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Rob Maley on August 29, 2011, 06:58:41 pm
64 Chairs
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on August 30, 2011, 05:46:36 pm
13 chairs...it's got to be something obscure, either 13 or 300!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 01, 2011, 07:41:57 am
Update 9 – Thursday 1st September 2011: Guess the Number of Chairs – THE RESULTS.

Earlier in the week I showed you my French painted Warriors of Chaos, now comes the turn of the High Elves that I took out to sunny français. You may remember, you may even care, that I'm painting a second unit of Ellyrian Reavers (I know – shut up), and the on foot model of Prince Althran. Well the good news is I've finished them, and I've put together this really exciting painting guide for you to skip through.

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

Stage 2 – Ellyrian Reavers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011050.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011053.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011061.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Layer Dheneb Stone
Rocks (on base): Wash Badab Black
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Mane/Tail: Drybrush Codex Grey
Horse Skin: Layer 1:1 Adeptus Battlegrey : Codex Grey
Barding Cloak Outside/Rider Cloth: Layer Golden Yellow
Barding Metal Trim/Arrow Flights/Trim: Layer 1:2 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Barding Cloak Inside/Feathers: Layer Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown – washed with Ogryn Flesh. Dheneb Stone – washed with Badab Black. Calthan Brown – washed with Badab Black

Stage 3 – Ellyrian Reavers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011211.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011214.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011216.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Layer Bleached Bone
Rocks (on base): Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Mane/Tail: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Horse Skin: Highlight Fotress Grey
Barding Cloak Outside/Rider Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Barding Cloak Inside/Feathers: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Barding Metal Trim/Arrow Flights/Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Wood: Layer watered down Bleached Bown
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown – highlighted with Vomit Brown. Dheneb Stone – highlighted with Bleached Bone. Calthan Brown – highlighted with Snakebite Leather


Stage 4 – Ellyrian Reavers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers243.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers249.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers252.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers253.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers257.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers260.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, add Static Grass
Skulls (on base): Layer 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Rocks (on base): Drybrush Fortress Grey
Hooves: Highlight Codex Gray
Mane/Tail: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Skin: Stippled 1:1 Adeptus Battlegrey : Fortress Grey, restippled with increasing amounts of Fortress Grey until one final layer of Fortress Grey
Barding Cloak Outside/Rider Cloth: Skull White on centremost parts
Barding Cloak Inside/Feathers: *NO CHANGE*
Barding Metal Trim/Arrow Flights/Trim: Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Vomit Brown – highlighted with Bleached Bone. Dheneb Stone – highlighted with Skull White. Calthan Brown – highlighted with Bubonic Brown

And I'm reasonably pleased with the standard and musician shown above, who were conversions, albeit very basic, it's still fun when they come out well!

And for our hero:

Stage 2 – Prince Althran on Foot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011035.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011037.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011039.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011042.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Wash Badab Black
Rocks (on base): Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Inside of Cloak / Sleeves / Shield Design: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomican Grey : Skull White) : (1:2 Astronomican Grey : Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Ribbons: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun : Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Shield / Outside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Paint Shining Gold
Wood: Grain of Snakebite Leather painted
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Layer Desert Yellow, then layer 1:1 Desert Yellow : Bleached Bone

Stage 3 – Prince Althran on Foot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011208.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011204.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011209.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Layer Khemri Brown, then Dheneb Stone
Rocks (on base): Drybrush Codex Grey
Inside of Cloak / Sleeves / Shield Design: Layer 1:1 (1:2 Astronomican Grey : Skull White) : Skull White, then layer watered down Skull White
Ribbons: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Shield / Outside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue, then layer 1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Wood: Grain highlight Bubonic Brown
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Devlan Mud in recesses

Stage 4 – Prince Althran on Foot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers224.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers227.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers229.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers231.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers235.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers238.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, add Static Grass
Skulls (on base): Layer Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Rocks (on base): Drybrush Fortress Grey, then wash Badab Black
Inside of Cloak / Sleeves / Shield Design: Highlight Skull White
Ribbons: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then layer 1:1 Sunburst Yellow: Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Bad Moon Yellow
Shield / Outside of Cloak: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Wood: Grain highlight Bleached Bone
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh : Bleached Bone, then highlight Elf Flesh
Hair: Highlight Bleached Bone, then highlight Skull White at tips.

He's even got a vial of liquid and dagger at his feet, well something had to go there!

Guess the Number of Chairs Competition – The Results

Now it's the moment you've all been waiting for it's the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition – The Results.

In case you've forgotten I, for no reason at all, asked you to guess the number of chairs in my French villa, (inside and out, counting benches/sofas as the maximum they'd comfortably sit)

With a few last minute entries, here's what you guessed:

Marauder Mitch – 1
Noahtonkin – 13
Cyberactivity – 28
Maelzch – 42
Crompton – 52
Fatolaf – 56
Steve H – 61
Dave – 62
Rob Maley – 64
Jackhoneysett – 70
Roland Murat – 83
Sainthale 1988 – 180

For those that care, this gives an average answer of 59.33 or 5.93 chairs per inhabitant (actually 11.87 chairs per inhabitant – there were only five of us). Given that we've already seen about a dozen chairs in Monday's post we can already conclude Marauder Mitch has not won.

So with the answers in let's count the chairs, for the sake of brevity and so as not to overload your browser/smart phone I have shrunk some of the pictures. Please however take my word this is a genuine count, so even it doesn't appear clear I can assure you it is right (some people care too much about this).

Let's start in the bedrooms:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers047.jpg)

That's are first 10 chairs, but that's not all of upstairs:
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers048.jpg)

Chairs 12-14 are actually in the bathrooms, should you wish to watch other people having a poo - I guess.

Moving onto downstairs:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers049.jpg)

Yes I am counting the high chair, and the cinema style chairs outside the utility room (your guess is as good as mine).

Oh and of course there's the living room and dining room:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers050.jpg)

Then there's by the pool:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers081.jpg)

The outdoor eating area(s), which we didn't sit at as they were infested with flies:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers082.jpg)

Oh and the sheltered outdoor eating area, by the pool.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers083.jpg)

Chairs 112 & 113 are actually another seat like 108 & 109 which I forgot to take a picture of, but it is just out of shot.

Oh and I nearly forgot the balcony:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers084.jpg)

Yes I did take a photo of every chair in my villa on holiday. Well you've probably got a girlfriend or something to fill your cold and lonely nights.

Anyway that makes a grand total of 119 chairs, or 23.8 chairs per guest, I don't know about you but I thought that was a little excessive. Bare in mind if you were to spend just 5 minutes sitting in each chair, it would take you 10 hours to sit everywhere in the villa!!

So to our winner. And the closest answer is Roland Murat with 83 chairs just 36 chairs short of the final total (though in fairness Tom's answer looks less stupid now!). Congratulations Roland you win the fabulous prize, and thanks to Crompton for the inspiration for this, because you have won yourself your very own Make Your Face Out of Angel Delight Kit

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers261.jpg)

The kit includes Strawberry, Butterscotch and Chocolate Angel Delight so you can match any skin tone (we don't want to be discriminatory). And in addition to the chocolate buttons, you get the exclusive Teeth and Lips accessory pack. Milk not included.

I think this is the best prize we've ever given away on this forum, Roland I hope you have fun with the kit, we look forward to seeing pictures of your attempts – the other entrants will EXPECT it!

Thanks to all who entered.

What's In The Box?

It's the turn of a new month, so that can mean only one thing it's the return of the game that everyone with a packet of Nurofen Plus has been playing that's right it's the Tale of OG Gamers classic game What's In The Box?

For new players, there are no prizes, it's largely a pointless game. Under my bed are thirty six boxes labelled one to thirty six each containing some random miniatures (some broken, some classic, some painted, some crap). All you need to do is pick a box between one and thirty six, one entrant will be picked at random to see the contents of that box on this very forum.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog240.jpg)

Veteran players should be aware, since Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves I've had a tidy up and have had to rearrange the boxes to include new models. So the board has been reset, all numbers are up for grab, in the unlikely event you pick a box whose contents have already been seen I'll save myself having to get the camera out, so everyone wins!

You've got two weeks to get your entrants in so get picking, this is important! Sort of.

That's it for today, make sure you head back soon, as I'll be giving you my thoughts on weddings (I have to go to one this weekend, not mine I hasten to add) and we'll be finding out what the hell this is...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog719.jpg)

Until then...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on September 01, 2011, 08:31:17 am
I'm gonna pick up where I left off and pick box 13
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on September 01, 2011, 09:37:49 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 01, 2011, 07:41:57 am

That's it for today, make sure you head back soon, as I'll be giving you my thoughts on weddings (I have to go to one this weekend, not mine I hasten to add) and we'll be finding out what the hell this is...

Until then...

There had better be pictures of hot Bridesmaids this time! The last Oggers trip to a wedding (Stevo's effort) was seriously underwhelming on the photos front...

Also is it bad that I kinda really want to do an army with a horde of Elyrian Reavers? I love those models, but I'm not sure even Mindrazor is enough to make them worthwhile...

Oh and I choose box 3!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 01, 2011, 10:14:28 am
Quote from: Meals on September 01, 2011, 09:37:49 am
There had better be pictures of hot Bridesmaids this time! The last Oggers trip to a wedding (Stevo's effort) was seriously underwhelming on the photos front...

I wouldn't hold your breath.

Quote from: Meals on September 01, 2011, 09:37:49 am
Also is it bad that I kinda really want to do an army with a horde of Elyrian Reavers? I love those models, but I'm not sure even Mindrazor is enough to make them worthwhile...

I think 10 is enough for me, any more might be odd!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on September 01, 2011, 11:58:11 am
Wow, I don't think I've ever been an inspiration before!

I am also going to a wedding this weekend. As I assume only 1 wedding happens per weekend in Britain I expect to see you in North Yorkshire as well Matt.

I choose box number 16.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 01, 2011, 04:51:44 pm
Quote from: Crompton on September 01, 2011, 11:58:11 am
Wow, I don't think I've ever been an inspiration before!

Enjoy it!!

Quote from: Crompton on September 01, 2011, 11:58:11 am
...I expect to see you in North Yorkshire as well Matt.

Manchester for me!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 01, 2011, 09:14:07 pm
Victory is mine bwahahahahahahahaha. Cough

errlove what your doing with the Chaos Marauders - seems far more work going into them than I put in to mine but that really isnt much of a shock.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 01, 2011, 10:45:48 pm
Cheers, I tend to find if I don't put a lot of effort in to all my units, then I paint them too quick and just buy more. It's really a cunning rouse to save myself cash!!

I'll bring down the prize next time I'm around! I know you're excited.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 02, 2011, 09:13:20 am
Update 10 – Friday 2nd September 2011: The Happiest Day of Someone Else's Bloody Life

Obviously I would talk about the new Ogre models, but being on what Games Workshop call the Subscription service to White Dwarf which is what I call the Back Issue service – my copy hasn't arrive yet. Instead here's something else I wish to vent my spleen about...

Love, l-o-v-e, pah! Even hearing the word out loud is enough to make me want to vomit so hard that my entire insides are sprayed out all over the floor like an elaborate Persian rug. Incidentally this is the reason why I'm banned from tennis matches, puts people off their strawberries and cream.

Being a terminally single man, who was last dating sometime around the fall of Hadrin's wall, you can imagine how I feel about weddings. Weddings are the ultimate symbol of happiness, joy and togetherness and thus completely alien to me. Like deodorant is completely alien to twelve year old boys, only unlike Lynx I suspect I'll never grow into them.

Unfortunately I am now at the age where weddings are inescapable, at the age of three you're not expected to go because you're too young, lucky sods. Approaching thirty and you find all your friends are popping off to get married, whilst you spend longer on the shelf than the average Korean language-edition Jeffery Archer novel. And being such a good friend you're expected to go to each and every one of the love-based rituals to be joyous as the happy couple embark on their new wonderful life, whilst every step of the ceremony is designed to remind you that their life will be much better than yours. As tasteless acts of suffering go it is akin to inviting a group of starving Ethopian people to come and watch the opening of an All-You-Can-Eat-Buffet, without letting them tuck in. With all this said, you can imagine how excited I am by the fact that I am not only going to a wedding this weekend, but have also have had to toast another happy couple getting married on the same day!

Don't get me wrong I am off course happy for both couples, as I was at the hundred odd other weddings I've been to in the last few years, in fact I'm overjoyed. Ok that's taking it too far, we'll stick at happy. In fairness all the weddings I've been to have been lovely affairs, all different but each one perfectly suited to the couple getting married. As I am sure this weekend's wedding will also be. And whilst I'm not quite at the level of turning up with "It Should Have Been Me" placard, my hatred of weddings is firmly based in selfishness, the "always the page boy never the groom" bitterness is fully in charge here. It's like university graduation, I'm happy to celebrate other people's graduations knowing that I'm graduating too. But if you were forced to go to graduation after your 58th resit of the first year, it would all start to feel a bit like a sick joke.

And this is weddingdom for me, currently I'm just an anomaly on a seating plan that makes the whole thing uneven "well if you could bring a plus one, table allocation would be easier". A plus one! Thanks, who do you expect me to bring a bloody teddy bear, Norman Lamont or perhaps one of the Sugababes? With the option to bring a minus one sadly frowned upon, I resort to being the person standing awkwardly at the edge of the dance floor whilst the bride, groom and all the other couples in attendance go for a romantic dance. I'm there looking interested in a plant pot, until the plant pot gets ashamed by association and wanders off, then I'm just there alone in a sea of happiness, trying desperately to look cheerful but ending up looking about as natural as Gordon Brown's smile.

It wouldn't be so bad if I felt there was a decent chance of me being able to return the favour and invite everyone round for my wedding sometime, but even in an infinite universe with infinite time for all events to play out at multiple times, it still seems an extremely remote possibility. I've probably got more chance of winning Euromillions. Which would at least give me a vague chance of funding the wedding, yes as gratuitous displays of affection go; a wedding seems the most carefree way of pissing a load of cash up the wall. A wall which incidentally has been gold plated, and accessorised by the bride and her mother for approximately 400 working hours to ensure it doesn't clash with the flowers and compliments the shade of the groom's tongue perfectly, lest he open his mouth whilst walking past at some point during the ceremony.

If you're the organisers of the ceremony, you'll run up a debt as large as a medium-sized African nation as you spend money on a church or registry office, reception venue, suit hire, wedding dresses, transport, horses, more finger nibbles than have ever been eaten in the history of the world and enough wine so that everyone gets so pissed they can't remember the event. For all anyone will be able to recall you could have hosted it in a burnt out garage in a back street of Wolverhampton. But wedding's are also expensive if you're a guest, an expense that leaves an extra stain on your debit sheet if you're still single, as you have to pay for accommodation (which is more expensive per person if you're single!) and transportation. It's bad enough if it's in the UK, but there seems to be a trend for getting married aboard. "Not only are we the happiest couple who have ever lived, but we're going to celebrate it on a holiday" - a holiday that has all the disadvantages of being a holiday (e.g. expensive, long journeys, arguments, lost baggage, food poisoning) without any of the advantages, such as relaxing and having fun. I mean seriously how happy do you want me to think your life is, because there's a danger you'll become so happy I might punch you in the face - and blood is very tricky to get out of a wedding dress and tends to dampen down the happiness factor.

And of course there's the gifts, this is the happiest day of our life, but we'd be even happier if you could bring us something of monetary value. Oh and we've seen your usual gift buying skills, you're crap, please only buy us something form this pre-approved list, because asking for the receipt is always awkward. Of course the bride, groom and family have spent a lot of money on the event, so it seems only fair you should buy them a gift - except when you realise the whole event is to make them feel happy anyway, my happiness has certainly not been factored in. In this context the gift buying tradition just feels greedy. Still I intend to milk it for all it's worth if I ever get married, an event pencilled for the year 2080 at the earliest. I should imagine by then the iPhone 73 will be out, so that's going on my wedding list (I don't want pots and bloody pans), and the ceremony - that'll be held on the Moon. Sod Europe, now you've got to pay for interstellar return tickets, serves you right for inviting me to f**king Venice way back in 2009.

You'd think given my resolute bitterness towards marriage that I'd revel in break ups and misery, but no, even they are depressing. For starters it's considered rude to point and laugh at the recently separated, you're not even allowed a big piss-up based celebration, like with a wedding. Instead they expect a shoulder to cry on, they want to wallow to you about how shit it is that their life has become just like yours. Except unlike you, they recently had "happiness" and should be grateful for that. Someone once said "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all", try telling that to someone who's just broken up and they'll slap you. And then people worry about inviting them to weddings, because they worry it will be "insensitive", surely it's insensitive to invite the long-term single, at least the recently single have the perspective that it could happen to them. Instead we just watch on, spectators at the initiation to an exclusive club to which we've been barred entry from for no discernable reason other than having a face like the rear end of a water buffalo and being about as socially aware as a bowl of salmonella. And worse of all you have to listen to reassuring people saying "don't worry it'll be your turn soon", or "it will happen, you've just got to not worry about it" – can we please have a ban on these phrases, we're not living in a f***ing Disney movie, it's perfectly possible and extremely likely that I will be miserable for all my life. And refusing to accept this is plain stupid.

If you'll excuse me, I'm now off to get a new shirt. It turns out that binge eating on chocolate not only fails to take the pain away but also causes your collar size to expand exponentially.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on September 02, 2011, 10:04:51 am
Thanks Matt, your inane ranting has cheered me up after learning that George Lucas has released yet another !@%$#%@ digitally altered Star Wars. !@%$#%@ OFF, YOU MONEY GRUBBING TWAT!!!  :bash;m:  oh well, it was at least a nice distraction for a few minutes...

I hope people quote these posts at your Wedding, Matt, whenever it should occur   :thumbsup:

Also, if you can find them, single chicks at weddings are desperate as... I suggest less discussion about the number of chairs present may help  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on September 02, 2011, 11:06:01 am
When you said you were going to give us a wedding-themed update soon, I suspected there might be a bit of a rant brewing!

I've had a few bad wedding experiences too (not my own, I should point out). Then I watched Gavin and Stacey, and all the bitterness disappeared - turns out it's very difficult to hate people with welsh accents. I recommend it, it's cheaper than therapy!

(I have the box set if you want to borrow it!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 04, 2011, 08:13:14 pm
Quote from: Meals on September 02, 2011, 10:04:51 am
I hope people quote these posts at your Wedding, Matt, whenever it should occur   :thumbsup:

I wouldn't wait around if I were you, at present the death of the Universe is scheduled to happen first.

Quote from: Meals on September 02, 2011, 10:04:51 am
Also, if you can find them, single chicks at weddings are desperate as... I suggest less discussion about the number of chairs present may help  :wink;m::

I don't know what you mean, everyone surely loves counting chairs?

Quote from: jackhoneysett on September 02, 2011, 11:06:01 am
I suspected there might be a bit of a rant brewing!

Me? Rant? Never.

Quote from: jackhoneysett on September 02, 2011, 11:06:01 am
Then I watched Gavin and Stacey... (I have the box set if you want to borrow it!)

That's very kind but I think it is all too little, too late now. Blood pressure blown!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 08, 2011, 09:13:06 am
Update 11 – Thursday 8th September 2011: His Milkshake Brings all the High Elves to the Yard.

Looking back at this blog, I'm disgusted to see how wayward it's become. How much it has deviated from its original purpose and one true cause. We've had guess the number of chair competitions, moans about weddings, White Dwarf reviews (still no one like that?) and Angel Delight. None of this is what this blog is supposed to be about, let's get back to our core values and our routes.

No I'm not talking about painting. I'm talking Shakeaway of course!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers053.jpg)

Yes I may have had to go up to Manchester to attend a wedding and watch people embark on their happy bloody life, but the good news is Manchester has a Shakeaway. What do you mean you don't know what Shakeaway is?

Well it's only the theme behind my entire High Elf army:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3019.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog129.jpg)

Which you can read all about in the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves now available in paperback – it's not actually.

For those of you who <insert hushed breath> haven't been to a Shakeaway <cease of hushing of breath> I shall explain how it works through the aid of my photo case study:

Up first you walk into your chosen Shakeaway branch:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers053.jpg)

I know you've seen this photo before, but the photo case study wouldn't work otherwise (incidentally there are no Shakeaway branches in London, sadly, though if there were I would be obese).

Next you choose what you would like in your milkshake there are over 150 different flavours and millions of different combinations:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers055.jpg)

See I told you.

I was in a bit of a rush, apparently it's rude to turn up late to a wedding because you've been drinking milkshakes! I know who makes up the rules of social etiquette! So I went for a tried and tested favourite combination the "Jack" which is caramel biscuits and chocolate and stuff with whipped cream (I can't remember the exact contents, but it's nice).

After placing your order you wait whilst the lovely vendor makes up your milkshake:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers054.jpg)

Perfection cannot be rushed, so whilst you wait there are lovely activities to pass the time (and a "I Heart Manchester" sign – everywhere in Manchester post rioting):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers056.jpg)

As you may have noticed I can't use the table football set, as I am alone in the shop, apparently not many people want a milkshake at 10am in the morning on a way to a wedding. Weird.

Sooner or later your vendor will have finished your milkshake...:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers057.jpg)

...or think you're stalking him because you've taken an inordinate number of photos of him at work. It's fine it all got explained away, down at the police station, just a silly misunderstanding really.

And then you have your yummy milkshake to sit back and enjoy:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers058.jpg)

Yum, yum, yum!

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

Anyway all this milkshake based excitement made me think I probably should talk about how the High Elves are getting on since we last saw them. Well the original 2,000 point force took part in two battles on Monday, in the first time I've been down to the club in ages (I'm so busy!! Ok, I'm so lazy!!).

By the way Jack I know you fought the 2,000 point army a while back for a battle report, may have not got round to writing that up yet – sorry! It's the lazy thing!

I added 200 points of magic items to the original 2,000 point list, giving this full list (as a refresher to those who can't remember):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3975.jpg)

Lords:

Prince mounted on Griffon with Star Lance (+3S, no enemy Armour Save on charge), Armour of Caledor (2+ Armour Save) and Guardian Phoenix (5+ Ward Save).

Heroes:

Mage with Level 2 upgrade, Silver Wand (Bearer knows one extra spell) and the Ring of Fury (Bound Spell: Fury of Khaine, Power Level 3).

Caradryan with The Phoenix Blade (Flaming Attacks, D3 wounds on targets of Unit Strength 2 or greater) and Heavy Armour.

Core:

18 Lothern Sea Guard with shields, spears and bows. Lead by full command and bearing the Lion Banner (immune to Fear and Terror).

20 Archers with longbows. Lead by full command.

Special:

6 Shadow Warriors with longbows and light armour. Lead by Shadow-Walker.

5 Ellyrian Reavers with spears, light armour and bows, mounted on elven steeds. Lead by full command.

10 Phoenix Guard with halberds and heavy armour. Lead by full command.

5 Dragon Princes with lances, dragon armour and shields, riding barded elven steeds. Lead by full command and bearing the War Banner (+1 Combat Resolution)

Rare:

Repeater Bolt Thrower with two crew wearing light armour.

2 Great Eagles with nothing except feathers.

I leave it to you to mock my magic item choices in your replies below.

First up I took on Lee's Khornate Chaos Warriors, consisting of Lord on Juggernaut, Hero on Juggernaut, Battle Standard Bearer on Juggernaut, 3 units of Chaos Warriors and 2 units of Chaos Knights, all with Mark of Khorne.

The game was pretty much decided in the first turn, as Lee's army advanced I saw a chance to attack. As someone famous once said "Fortune Favours the Bold", I think it was Captain Sisko in the Battle of Deep Space Nine actually. So I charged Prince on Griffon and the Dragon Princes into a Chaos Knight unit accompanied by the Lord. However it turns out Captain Sisko was wrong, the Dragon Prince inflicted 9 wounds on the Chaos Knights, which given Lee's usual standard of dice rolling for armour saves should have meant 12 dead Chaos Knights. Unfortunately all the knights passed their armour saves. The Prince locked in a challenge with the Lord scored 3 hits on the Chaos General with the Star Lance this meant 2+ to wound and no armour save, so I promptly rolled three one's (apologies to anyone in earshot at this point on Monday, fortunately Lee knows it's only a comedy strop that I ever have!! I think he knows anyway, the laughter didn't seem that nervous.). The Lord killed my Prince and the Chaos Knights killed three Dragon Princes, all the survivors ran. The Dragon Princes were rundown and the Griffon fled off the board along with the Archers who it panicked on its way there. After that it was pretty much curtains, with even the Bolt Thrower crew cowering under their machine. My Level 2 Mage managed to do some damage to the Chaos Warriors, but most of his spells were hexes so he wasn't able to do much and what limited archery I had left was hampered by Toughness 4 and 3+ Armour Saves. So my army was quickly munched up.

In fairness I actually threw this game, I heard Lee lost all his battles at the Milton Keynes Massacre, in fact he lived up to the massacre part of the name. So being the nice person I am, I let him win. It wasn't that I'm s**t or anything.

Next up I faced Julien and his High Elves, he'd gone for a Level 4 Archmage, a Level 1 Mage, a Battle Standard Bearer, a unit of Archers, and big blocks of Dragon Princes, Phoenix Guard, White Lions and Spearmen. What initially struck me was how many scary looking big units Julien had managed to get in his army, for the same points, which I didn't seem to have. Though I had the Ellyrian Reavers, so who is the real loser? Julien's Dragon Princes charged my Reavers, who fled and were caught by the Dragon Princes, but this allowed my Phoenix Guard (who rather ironically survived the spell Flames of the Phoenix) a sneaky flank attack that eventually lead to the Dragon Princes breaking and being caught. My Prince was unceremoniously dismounted when his Griffon was shot down by the Fury of Khaine, rendering the Star Lance useless (again). However he and the Dragon Princes charged Julien's Phoenix Guard, the Prince got in base to base with the Archmage who unseated him and managed to get vengeance. Other than that the battle was a bit of a stalemate with the Phoenix Guard's ward save and the Dragon Princes' high armour save limiting casualties, that was until the White Lions charged. Meanwhile my Archers and Bolt Thrower scythed their way through Julien's spearmen, by the time they finally charged the Archers, their ranks were too few to overcome the Archers who eventually killed them all and the Mage in their ranks. I charged my Shadow Warriors into the front of Julien's Archers (who wheeled to face them), whilst and Eagle charged the flank. While the Shadow Warriors survived the volley of arrows, they were cut down in combat causing the Eagle to break. With hindsight I should have hit with the Eagle pinning the Archers in place, then positioned the Shadow Warriors to get the other flank next turn. By now the White Lions had dealt with my Lothern Sea Guard and Mage, and Julien's Phoenix Guard killed my Phoenix Guard. With only a few smatterings of troops left, and about to be chopped up by the White Lions it was another loss for the Shakeaway Elves.

So what did I learn? Sometimes luck screws you over, ala Star Lance. Also White Lions are hard, I didn't really know what to do about them as their 3+ Armour Save against shooting and magic makes missile attacks futile and they are dam good in combat too. Secondly I've a lot of fun redirection units, which I think are essential for High Elves, to pick and choose their fights, but my Prince and Dragon Princes represent my only real punch to the army. Once they were gone I had little to throw at the enemy, Phoenix Guard are much better defence than offence (particularly now I've got their 4+ Ward Saves working, initially I was going to have to take them back to Ol because they just weren't working – all these 1s, 2s and 3s!). Thirdly I maybe need a Battle Standard Bearer, I was loathed to paint one up, as my old High Elf army that this newer army was supposed to combine with already has one. But he's not as pretty looking as my new High Elves, hmmmm.

Oh and I also learnt that at 2,200 points my army is illegal. As I only had 504 points of core to start with and all I could do was add a 25 point banner to one unit. Oops, sorry, didn't make much of a difference really did it boys?!!

Whilst my recent additions of Noble on foot and another unit of Ellyrian Reavers were fun to paint, they don't really address my current problems. What I need is more core, and some extra punch. As everyone knows painting core is boring, so I thought I'd go for the punch, and it turns out I have something lurking in the bottom of my Island of Blood box set that I haven't got round to painting yet (I can't believe how long I left them untouched for) – oh yes it's the Swordmasters. Now there's some punch. White Lions would have to wait... for now!

So taking some snaps in a surprisingly sunny afternoon in my parents' garden this week, the pictures I assure you look warmer than the temperature actually was, I've started work:

Stage 1 – Swordmasters of Hoeth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3264.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3268.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3269.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3271.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Skulls (on base): Khemri Brown
Cloth: 1:1 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Plumage: Iyanden Darksun
Armour Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown or Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown
Banner Field: Necron Abyss

I'll keep you updated with those, as and when they progress. And I really need to stop promising things, last week I promised I'd tell you all about this...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog719.jpg)

Well I've run out of time (it is 43 minutes past midnight, at the time of writing)! Sorry, I'd say I'll try next week but I'm not promising.

Oh and before I go do you think I really stopped at one Shakeaway? Oh no Sunday the day after the wedding I was on a train to London armed with my blue and yellow carton.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers059.jpg)

It was the same guy serving on Sunday, and it was 11am in the morning (I think he thought I was mad). But what was in the Shakeaway I hear you cry? Well those of you with a ridiculously good memory may remember that in a past blog back on Monday 29th November 2010 I said:

"I wonder what would happen if Shakeaway did a Lindor flavoured milkshake, mmmmmm, really probably best not think about such things in public – might get arrested again." (Check Page 6 if you don't believe me)

In reference to these chocolates:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog777.jpg)

Well Shakeaway have only bloody well gone and done it!! Shakeaway I love you!!! Can I marry you? You'd be better than a real person!

And on that uncharacteristically upbeat note I sign off!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on September 08, 2011, 10:00:57 am
Is this all some sort of elaborate Lonelygirl15-esque internet advertising ploy? Are you just secretly pretending to be a wargamer to sell us milkshakes?

Man, I haven't had a decent shake since I arrived in this country and I have to sit here reading this, when there aren't any in London  ... ITS NOT FAIR, DAMMIT!!!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 08, 2011, 10:28:59 am
Quote from: Meals on September 08, 2011, 10:00:57 am
Is this all some sort of elaborate Lonelygirl15-esque internet advertising ploy? Are you just secretly pretending to be a wargamer to sell us milkshakes?

It would explain my poor performance at Warhammer wouldn't it. No I'm not "Lonelygirl15" just lonely, but I have milkshakes as friends!

Quote from: Meals on September 08, 2011, 10:00:57 am
Man, I haven't had a decent shake since I arrived in this country and I have to sit here reading this, when there aren't any in London  ... ITS NOT FAIR, DAMMIT!!!

There's one in Croydon and one in Kingston - it would definitely be worth the trip, hell it would be worth the trip to Manchester!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on September 08, 2011, 10:56:43 am
Nothing's worth a trip to manchester!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 08, 2011, 11:03:02 am
Quote from: maelzch on September 08, 2011, 10:56:43 am
Nothing's worth a trip to manchester!

There's nothing wrong with Manchester, you may be confusing it with Wolverhampton - one of the few places on Earth that would benefit from cometry impact.

Plus now Manchester has a Shakeaway maybe I should join CBBC -  a little joke there for all you children's television types - hilarous I know, thank you!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on September 08, 2011, 12:18:38 pm
Considering this blog is called Procrastination by Numbers, you aren't really deviating that far by having a guess the number of chairs competition.

However, with all your talk about Shakeaway I may have to investigate the one in Kingston.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on September 08, 2011, 03:02:46 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 08, 2011, 09:13:06 am
So I went for a tried and tested favourite combination the "Jack" which is caramel biscuits and chocolate and stuff with whipped cream (I can't remember the exact contents, but it's nice).

I'm surprised and touched that Shakeaway decided to name a milkshake in my honour. I have no doubt it's the most delicious one there.

Quote
By the way Jack I know you fought the 2,000 point army a while back for a battle report, may have not got round to writing that up yet – sorry! It's the lazy thing!

Yes, what happened to that? You did spent an inordinate amount of time typing up notes on your iphone (you have far more patience with that awful device than I do!). If I remember correctly you smashed me as well, so you definitely want to tell people about that one  :wink;m::

Quote
Also White Lions are hard, I didn't really know what to do about them as their 3+ Armour Save against shooting and magic makes missile attacks futile and they are dam good in combat too.

Sorry, the pedant in me needs to say something now: White Lion cloaks don't work against magic missiles, just shooting. I blame Julien, he was probably trying to diddle you!

Quote
Thirdly I maybe need a Battle Standard Bearer

Yes, definitely. You could paint this banner with a Lindor icon, to go with the shakeaway banner!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 09, 2011, 02:58:06 pm
Seriously a lot of chairs, can't believe you took piccies of all of them......Outstanding!  :cool3:

I choose box 2 please
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Draig on September 09, 2011, 03:38:15 pm
Quote from: Crompton on September 08, 2011, 12:18:38 pmHowever, with all your talk about Shakeaway I may have to investigate the one in Kingston.

Despite being there a lot, I somehow missed it too. Awesome!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 12, 2011, 09:33:50 am
Quote from: Crompton on September 08, 2011, 12:18:38 pm
Considering this blog is called Procrastination by Numbers, you aren't really deviating that far by having a guess the number of chairs competition.

A good point, I'm talking 50% less rubbish than I expected!

Quote from: Crompton on September 08, 2011, 12:18:38 pm
However, with all your talk about Shakeaway I may have to investigate the one in Kingston.

I should point out I've never been to the Kingston one, I'm basing this all on the Shakeaway website. However having just checked with TfL Kingston is only 43 minutes from my house - may well be worth it for some Shakeaway fun!!

Quote from: jackhoneysett on September 08, 2011, 03:02:46 pm
Yes, what happened to that? You did spent an inordinate amount of time typing up notes on your iphone (you have far more patience with that awful device than I do!). If I remember correctly you smashed me as well, so you definitely want to tell people about that one  :wink;m::

You've given the result away now, not worth doing!!

Quote from: jackhoneysett on September 08, 2011, 03:02:46 pm
Sorry, the pedant in me needs to say something now: White Lion cloaks don't work against magic missiles, just shooting. I blame Julien, he was probably trying to diddle you!

Actually I can't blame Julien, I was just typing rubbish, I knew that! It's the Shakeaway withdrawal symptoms kicking in.

Quote from: jackhoneysett on September 08, 2011, 03:02:46 pm
Yes, definitely. You could paint this banner with a Lindor icon, to go with the shakeaway banner!

There's an idea. Hmmm.

Quote from: fatolaf on September 09, 2011, 02:58:06 pm
Seriously a lot of chairs, can't believe you took piccies of all of them......Outstanding!  :cool3:

The sign of an empty life!

Now if you'll excuse me, I can feel a rant brewing...

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 12, 2011, 09:50:38 am
Update 12 – Monday 12th September 2011: 30 Reasons to take Cyanide.

The number thirty is currently rushing towards me like a judge asked to pin a rosette on the winner of the Ugliest Face competition. Yeah sadly I am significantly closer to thirty than twenty, about nine years five months if I'm being honest. No matter what age you are, you always poor scorn on people younger than you moaning about their age. I truly understand that if you're reading this on the cusp of turning forty, fifty or sixty plus, you'll find my annoyances at turning thirty tiresome. But I think the point of what I am saying will strike a chord with whatever age you are, unless of course you're not bothered about your age – in which case you must be young, and on behalf of everyone else reading this let me just say "We hate you, with a passion you can't even imagine!".

As a complete aside, what does one do to celebrate their 30th birthday? A drink down the pub seems a bit under ambitious, but then a trip to Centre Parks seems like the kind of thing that would mean you end up spending your birthday alone. Perhaps I should go on my last (and coincidentally first) 18-30 holiday, or then again perhaps not?

What bothers me about turning thirty is not the number per se, but the fact that at thirty you are supposed to look back at your life and take stock at your wonderful accomplishments. Oh dear..., it's a bit like looking at a mantelpiece covered in all of the music industry's awards to Chico, it feels rather bare shall we say. So I've completely tried to avoid thinking about it. This plan would have worked until my flatmate decided to shove a copy of the Evening Standard under my nose, the Evening Standard is a good newspaper if you ignore the fact that it's hideously overpriced and deeply depressing. This is without the fact that this particular edition contained an article entitled "30 things to do before you're 30". Suffice us to say my flatmate's actions provoked the kind of response you'd expect to get if you repeatedly poke a lion in the eye with a stick.

For those of you who fancy a look, you must either be nowhere near thirty or have a death wish, here's a link to the article:

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifestyle/article-23982579-30-things-to-do-before-youre-30.do (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/lifestyle/article-23982579-30-things-to-do-before-youre-30.do)

In case you do look at the online version, I should point out that in the actual print version it's laid out in such a way that on seeing the headline you go straight to the numbered list rather than reading the introductory paragraphs in which the author explains that your thirties are much better than your twenties and that you shouldn't worry about completing the list or not. By the time I read this disclaimer it was too late, the damage was done.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers348.jpg)

So let's have a look at this long list (I didn't decide there should be 30 things in it, don't blame me) and see what I've accomplished:

1. Buy a Property – If by "property" you mean packet of crisps and a 15 tog duvet (things that arguably are your "property") then I have achieved this. Otherwise have you seen the prices of houses?! I've got more chance of owning a Nobel Peace Prize.

2. Have a Baby (if you're a woman) & 3. Avoid having a Baby (if you're a man) – First of all this is cheating, as by putting these as two separate things you cannot possibly achieve all thirty. Unless of course you've had a sex change from a woman after having a still birth, and to be honest that doesn't feel like an achievement you should be celebrating. In fairness I have achieved number 3, but given Update 10 on this blog this doesn't really feel like an "achievement", more an outcome of being hideous.

4. Live Abroad – No. Why would you want to live abroad? It's hard enough making friends without going somewhere where you neither know anyone nor know the language. This is not for the social recluse that I am.

5. Build Your Brand – Essentially this is the new wankerish trend to be top of Google when you search for yourself, have over 1,000 Twitter followers and get regular comments on your blog. I think you'll find by scouring these pages the later only barely scrapes achievement. You can also tell by reading this blog I have nothing worth tweeting. And also there's an Irish folk singer with the name "Matt Cunningham" who rudely keeps topping Google over me.

6. Leave Home – Ok, so I've achieved this one. But beyond your early twenties you have to stop living with your parents, as it becomes too depressing. It's like looking into a mirror that shows the future. It slowly dawns on you that your inescapable fate is to become your parents as you see their traits develop in you, but worse still (and this is the terrifying part) you realise you're going to have all the annoying habits of both your mother and your father – yay for genetics. Leaving home and not thinking about this is the only way to stay sane.

7. Look After the Pennies – This one's all about savings, but unfortunately there's no criteria on how much you should have saved (how you can have any money saved if you've achieved item #1 on the list is another matter). I'm going to say tick, as I have at least £100 in the bank, and that's a lot more than the UK Government.

8. Drop Out – Meaning leave your boring 9-5 job. Are you mad? It may be boring, but how can I have all these savings, leave home, move abroad, buy a house and support or not support a baby, if I've decided to give up my job and live of the profits of Bring & Buy sales like some tedious Blue Peter appeal?

9. Co-Habit – Yes I have managed to achieve this, but the person I'm co-habiting with gave me this damned article in the first place, so I don't think that worked out!

10. Have a Threesome or Moresome – Some of us are still struggling with Twosomes thank you very much.

11. Own a Designer Handbag – This is random, I have no idea why this is in the article. The closest I come to this is that I own designer clothes, if by designer you include Burtons Menswear. Guess that's a no then.

12. Grow a Pair – Balls not breasts here, and no we're not talking about sex changes again, but sticking up for yourself. Given I spend most of my day, hiding in the corner trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone (regardless of whether I know them or not – especially if I know them), I suspect this is a no.

13. Always wear Sunscreen – Technically no, as I'm not wearing it now. But have you seen outside? It looks like deepest winter... on Pluto, when did summer happen? But having managed to achieve some rather unpleasant comedy sunburns over my life, I suspect this is still a no.

14. Dump the Debt – Pay off your student debt. Sadly I don't happen to have a five-figure cash sum cluttering up my bedroom, so sadly this is impossible. Though maybe I'll pop it on my credit card, no mention of clearing credit card debts in this article so clearly that's a far more sensible thing to do. I don't think so.

15. Build Up Your Black Book – Have a good list of contacts. "Networking" is one of the most disturbing terms in the English language, just behind "floating shelves" (which are not natural and should be burnt). The idea of meeting people and convincing them I'm worth knowing is making me feel quite, quite ill.

16. Drop Your Last E – Nothing to do with spelling your name this one, all to do with giving up drugs. Sadly I haven't even got round to starting yet (I'm that much of a failure), so I can't tick this one off. Instead I'm planning to work my way up from soft drugs to harder substances so I can then give up. I'm currently working on caffeine – I know call me crazy.

17. Be a Fashion Victim – Now I am the master of unfashionable, what's wrong with slippers? But fashion victim is all about being too fashionable and that has never happened, and has no danger of happening now I've caught myself looking at clothes in shops and going "it's nice, but it's just not practical". Depressing isn't it.

18. Heal a Broken Heart – Have a fully functioning, sanity-restoring relationship. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I'd take that as a "no".

19. Get Married – Seriously? You're even asking?

20. Take it to the Extreme – Take up some kind of extreme sport. Problem with being me is that I have an acute fear of everything (see Update 2 about the London Riots), which makes crossing the road away from a designated crossing an extreme sport. The thought of bungee jumping off a mountain, is about as appealing as becoming Ann Widdicombe's sexual partner, and no she is certainly not going to be involved in item #10.

21. Write A Book – Who on earth would publish what I've written? Few enough read what I've written. It's only due to the true marvel of the internet than anyone can write any old tosh online, that I get away with any writing at all.

22. Know Who Your Friends Are – This is a hard one to tick off, it's all about finding your true friends. But friendship is ever evolving, in my case my current acquaintances are gradually working out what I'm really like so I having to trick new people into liking me without realising what I'm really like at the same rate to maintain the status quo.

23. Learn to Cook – Ok so I can do this one. But it doesn't really feel like the coolest thing on the list. When you're weighing up whipping up a cottage pie against having a threesome, I can't help but feel that I've fallen in the tragic group..., again.

24. Learn a Language – My bumbling attempts at French and Latin (yes I had to learn Latin at school), probably don't count. I can ask "where is the cat?" in French, over the years I can't honestly say this has proved that useful.

25. Make a Million Pounds – Whilst arguably more obtainable for me than item #19, I can safely say I have not achieved this. If I had, do you think my blog would be this miserable?

26. Find Yourself – I'm desperately trying not to find myself, all the evidence seems to suggest I'd hate myself if I did, so best keep to avoiding myself at all costs.

27. Have a Summer of Love – There's an uncomfortable theme running through some of these entries, and one I'm not enjoying. The closest I've come is a Summer of Chicken Pox, on the plus side it's less vomit worthy than a Summer of Love.

28. Get a Second Life – Basically find a hobby to occupy yourself with. You know for all the time you've got when you're not making friends, whipping up a meringue, spending your millions, applying sunscreen, moving out of home and f**king two or more people at once, preferably during the summer. Funnily enough given all that, I have found time for a hobby, fortunately the Evening Standard hasn't dictated any standards for "coolness" of this hobby else I'd lose out again.

29. Sleep When You're Dead – All about partying through the night and not worrying about sleep because it's cool. This is a lie, perpetrated by young people, sleeping is fun, and if starts at 10pm after a cup of Ovaltine all the better.

30. Start Your Own Business – No, just no. I've watching Dragon's Den, all the people who've started their own businesses, come in begging for money looking like they last slept around the time Eldorado was on the telly.

So out of those 30 things I have to have achieved, by the end of the next seven months, to be considered a person worthy of the flesh I was born in, how many I have achieved? Six (items #3, #6, #7, #9, #23 & #28). Six!!! Just six! And one of those was not to have a baby. In other words I'm 80% failure. Terrific. Thanks Evening Standard, and they wonder why people throw themselves under trains on the way home.

Personally I think the list is flawed, because most of the things on it I don't want to do. And any sane person wouldn't want to do either. So instead I present my alternate 30 things to do before you turn 30, except there's only 15 because 30's a lot to get round to. Who has the time? So here are 15 exciting, wacky things that you'd actually want to do:

1. Tell all your younger friends, that like to buy you birthday cards joking about how old you are, to F**K OFF AND DIE! – Trust me you'll be grateful they're not your friends and no longer sending those cards on your 30th.

2. Have a Onesome – Go to bed on your own, for a change (if you're luckier than me). Less likely to need to change the sheets, and no one to steal the duvet off you. Bliss.

3. Go and buy a new bin for the bathroom – I only put this, because I did it yesterday. Easy to tick off.

4. Go to McDonalds and don't order Fries – Sometimes you've got to let your hair down and do something crazy, like not ordering fries at McDonalds no one does that. Top tip go at breakfast, they don't even serve them then.

5. Leave a party early to get the penultimate Tube – This way you can party and get to sleep in your own bed at a not unreasonable time. And the penultimate tube is a bit less drunk filled than the final one.

6. Eat an entire Double Chocolate Cheesecake on your own, because you have no one to share it with – meals for one, always represent worse value than shopping for two, so get your own back by eating the whole cheesecake. It may not work mathematically but you'll feel better for it.

7. Stalk an ex/"never was" through social media (or even in real life) – Go on you know there's someone who either dumped you, spurned you or was rude enough to already be in a couple when you wanted them. Stalk their every move, sift through all their photos (or their bins), and imagine your happy life together that will never happen ever. It'll help you move on, honest.

8. Go into a toy shop, even though you have no kids to buy toys for – This doesn't count if you're under 12. Just go and look at all the toys you'd have bought as a kid, it's fun!

9. Spend an entire day at home in your pyjamas – Sod what your flat mates/relatives think, relax a little and enjoy being casual, even if you really do start to smell at 3pm.

10. Attempt to get two Weetabix from the packet into the bowl, without dropping a single crumb – Harder to do than it sounds this one, but it's a challenge and the rush of excitement when you do it is better than that provided by any hard core drug... probably.

11. Delete someone off Facebook you don't really like – Sod friend numbers, it's the quality that counts (though I've found if you have less than two friends people start to judge) get rid of the annoying tit. Oh that's me you've deleted, didn't think this one through.

12. Run up a flight of stairs on all fours – Surprisingly liberating this one, though best do it at home - might annoy people on the Piccadilly line otherwise.

13. Eat a chocolate from your Advent Calendar on the day before you're supposed to – Bit of a naughty one here, but if you can't break the rules before you're thirty when can you?

14. Go Commando! – Just for fun, one day, when you're at home, probably in your pyjamas because it would be weird if it was proper "going out" clothes.

15. Leave a comment on my blog – Only the coolest of the cool would do this before they hit thirty. So here's your chance to be a trend setter, do it now.

There, and as luck would have it I've done all 15 - I'm a success. And don't worry if you haven't yet, because you'll have a lot more fun doing it than the 30 listed in the Evening Standard.

Oh and before I go, for those of you wondering how the wedding I went to last week (see Update 10) turned out. Well you'll be pleased to know, as expected, I got on well with the pot plant:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers051.jpg)

In fact it was a great joke teller:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers052.jpg)

That was of course until it wandered off in shame leaving me all alone at the edge of the dance floor, still social interaction can't all be fun now can it?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 12, 2011, 02:58:22 pm
That article is over 10 days old... I happen to know this because in my brief few hours travelling through London a week before last Wednesday I picked it up, and I picked it up in some free newspaper whilst passing through some tube station, on my way to another tube station on my way to an overland railway on my way to a friends house (transport in london seems overly convoluted).

linking in nicely to your general blog posts my trip to London was in fact from Manchester (rather than the somewhat more obvious Edinburgh) and was on route to my aforementioned friends house (some posh area that I don't remember the name of, it had a overland railway station of which there was two with the same name but one of them had bridge after it, I nearly got confused).  From their house I then took a brief trip to Gatwick, then Malta, a ferry to Gozo and then the return journey culminating in a flight from gatwick to Edinburgh.  Admittedly a 10 day holiday may have been squeezed into the middle of that travel time.

Is that really you in the pictures talking to the rather lovely looking plant?  Whilst on Holiday I lost one of mine. The ever so slightly inaccurately named October snuffed it (I name them based on when I expect them to die) if I'm honest I blame the gf, she was still here and clearly neglected poor October, probably calling it by the wrong name eg September.  I just hope that November can cling onto life without it's brave companion. Anyways as I was saying, is that really you?  I'd not have placed you as a man to wear a white collar and blue shirt combo, such a thing reeks of 'fashion', I'd expected a man familiar with comfortable slippers to be far more at home in a classic 'one colour' shirt.  Did the plant also steal your drink as I can't help it has gone missing between photos 1 and 2!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2011, 05:33:26 pm
Quote from: Dave on September 12, 2011, 02:58:22 pm
That article is over 10 days old...

Ok you're onto me! Sometimes I stockpile rants. My flatmate handed this to me as I was writing last week's wedding article, so rather than have an uber-super-epic rant last week (doctors advise me not to) I waited until this week to let rip again - and then there was another delay as I wrote the article and then forgot to post it!!

Quote from: Dave on September 12, 2011, 02:58:22 pm
(transport in london seems overly convoluted).

This is due to the annoying tendancy for other people to live in London. If it was just me here, we'd only need one station. Though you're holiday trip sounds overly convoluted, if not a lot of effort!

Quote from: Dave on September 12, 2011, 02:58:22 pm
Is that really you in the pictures talking to the rather lovely looking plant?  Whilst on Holiday I lost one of mine. The ever so slightly inaccurately named October snuffed it ....  I'd not have placed you as a man to wear a white collar and blue shirt combo, such a thing reeks of 'fashion', I'd expected a man familiar with comfortable slippers to be far more at home in a classic 'one colour' shirt.  Did the plant also steal your drink as I can't help it has gone missing between photos 1 and 2!

No it's not me, but my evil doppleganger who I send out on social missions, he's much better at it than I am, hence the reason for the "fashionable" shirt, only the "good" me wears slippers and a smoking jacket (but "evil" me does the smoking of course).

The plant did not steal my evil doppleganger's drink, but I'm told it was the plant's round and he was unwillingly to go to the bar. In fact you might say he was rooted to the spot. Rooted, get it? Oh sometimes I really do supass myself.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:23:51 pm
As I approach the big Four Zero (shudders) I will answer the first 30 and I can tick off 18 of them..

Do I win a prize?  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2011, 06:25:51 pm
But how many of the second 15 can you answer yes to? Because that is what I shall judge you on, unless of course you own a designer handbag in which case THAT is what I shall judge you on!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:26:21 pm
Quote"Networking" is one of the most disturbing terms in the English language, just behind "floating shelves"

Oh consider this sigged..... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 13, 2011, 06:25:51 pm
But how many of the second 15 can you answer yes to? Because that is what I shall judge you on

Quote1. Tell all your younger friends, that like to buy you birthday cards joking about how old you are, to F**K OFF AND DIE!

I take it my stride, because I know that when they hit that certain age, I can take comfort in their total panic

Quote2. Have a Onesome

This could be taken so badly..... :wink;m::

Quote3. Go and buy a new bin for the bathroom

You know when you are getting old when a trip to Ikea becomes a good thing to do

Quote4. Go to McDonalds and don't order Fries

Or be asked by a concerned manager why you and your friend have been standing in the 'Queue' for hours whilst everyone simply walks round you (reason for this can not be put in writing  :wink;m::)
Quote
5. Leave a party early to get the penultimate Tube

Or simply dont go at all, much simpler

Quote
6. Eat an entire Double Chocolate Cheesecake on your own

Does lemon count?

Quote7. Stalk an ex/"never was" through social media (or even in real life)

Looked a few up on facebook, depressing, wont do that again

Quote8. Go into a toy shop, even though you have no kids to buy toys for

Was a manager of one for a while, put me off going into them again for life

Quote9. Spend an entire day at home in your pyjamas

Do Primark £3 tracky bottoms count? If so, doing it now and it's 6pm....
Quote
10. Attempt to get two Weetabix from the packet into the bowl, without dropping a single crumb.

Have not had one let alone 2 in over 2 decades...

Quote11. Delete someone off Facebook you don't really like

Old work mates, do it constantly
Quote
12. Run up a flight of stairs on all fours

Wish I had stairs, must try it at the club.... :))

Quote13. Eat a chocolate from your Advent Calendar on the day before you're supposed to

Ba humbug....

Quote14. Go Commando!

Not sure about this one....

Quote15. Leave a comment on my blog

Never stand and shoot against a 2 ton Beastman chariot with 5 reavers..... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2011, 06:47:06 pm
Good answers, in response to some of them:

RE: Onesomes!

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
This could be taken so badly..... :wink;m::

I don't know what you mean!  :angel:

RE: Shopping for bins

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
You know when you are getting old when a trip to Ikea becomes a good thing to do

It was Homebase, therefore I am not old.

RE: McDonalds

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Or be asked by a concerned manager why you and your friend have been standing in the 'Queue' for hours whilst everyone simply walks round you (reason for this can not be put in writing  :wink;m::)

Presumably you're spending a long time on deciding what to order, I find that as I'm getting older.

RE: On Chocolate Cheesecake

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Does lemon count?

No, chocolate should never be replaced with fruit, especially lemon - what kind of fruit is that, one you can't even eat as it tastes so horrid?!

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Do Primark £3 tracky bottoms count? If so, doing it now and it's 6pm....

Yes, I applaud you for wearing them now.

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Wish I had stairs, must try it at the club.... :))

Do it, it's great fun!

RE: Matt being a fool

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm
Never stand and shoot against a 2 ton Beastman chariot with 5 reavers..... :cool3:

There were very good reasons to stand and shoot, possibly, had the chariot been 10 inches further away than I thought.

Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:26:21 pm
Oh consider this sigged..... :cool3:

Cheers! Floating shelves are evil, I mean seriously shelves should not float! This is the work of the devil.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on September 13, 2011, 06:48:24 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on September 13, 2011, 06:34:32 pm

You know when you are getting old when a trip to Ikea becomes a good thing to do


I quite enjoy trips to ikea. it's fun to look at people wishing they had the same flat pack crap as everyone else!(and then of course going and buying some of aforementioned flat pack crap)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2011, 06:51:24 pm
Flat pack has become my life this week. I assembled a 50+ piece (NOT including bolts, dowel and joints) from memory and a tiny JPEG as I lost the instructions. So far I am sat here writing and it hasn't collapsed yet....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 15, 2011, 09:13:16 am
Update 13 – Thursday 15th September 2011: Let Battle be Drawn.

Hello Procrastination fans, I have something exciting for you this week. Yes, more exciting than the usual garbage that emanates from my mouth at two billion miles per hour anyway. It's time for a battle report, back in July (sorry I've been busy), I took my completed Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves army out on it's very first battle, against Jack and an allegedly fluffy (you can be the judge of that yourselves) Dark Elf army.

We agreed a 2,200 point battle, which gave me 200 points to spend on magic items to top up my existing army (which also saved me the bother of coming up with an army list – genius!).

High Elf Selection

Here's what I took you may wish to click on the pictures to enlarge them:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfArmy.jpg)

I used my 200 points to buff up my Lord with the Star Lance (which never works for me!), some armour and a ward save to keep him alive when he engaged those evil Dark Elf characters. Wizbit, the Mage, got the Ring of Fury and the Silver Wand to give him two extra spells, I felt a Level 2 in a 2,200 point might leave me magically light so to speak. With the remaining points I gave the requisite Banner of Sorcery to the Phoenix Guard (I had to have something filthy in the list) and with the final 10 points left I gave the Dragon Prince champion the Gem of Courage just for that break test they're sure to take when it all goes wrong.

My plan was to have all my infantry deployed in the centre to rain missiles down on the advancing Dark Elves, meanwhile the faster moving units would hopefully sweep up the flanks allowing me to get behind the Dark Elf lines. Oh and my Prince on Griffon, his target is not to die, we'll see how that goes.

Wizbit drew from the High Magic deck getting Drain Magic, Shield of Saphery, Flames of the Phoenix and Vaul's Unmaking.

Dark Elf Selection

Here's Jack's army for the Dark Elves:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfArmy.jpg)

The Dark Elf Sorceress drew from the Dark Magic deck getting Chill Wind, Blade Wind and Word of Pain.

Battlefield

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/BasicMap.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4029.jpg)

The battle was played on the club's new lava board. Terrain consisted of a smattering of hills, a burnt out forest and some buildings – presumably built by people who had not watched the Warhammer version of Location, Location, Location (who in their right mind builds on a lava field?).

For the sake of laziness all terrain was mundane (must stop doing this, it's boring), for the sake of sanity all the lava pits were treated as open terrain!

Deployment

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/Deployment-1.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4032.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4031.jpg)
The Elves line up ready for battle.

The High Elves deployed the bulk of their infantry in the centre of the battlefield, with their Archers most centrally positioned. Prince Althran bravely hid behind the forest, with the Dragon Princes, Eagles and Ellyrain Reavers taking up the flanks. The Dark Elves deployed their Black Guard behind the hill to protect them from early attacks by the High Elf archery. The fast moving cavalry deployed on the western flank whereas the slower moving infantry deployed in the centre with the Warriors deploying at the eastern end. Both armies deployed their scouts with the Shadow Warriors taking up the far north-eastern corner behind the Dark Elf Warriors and the Shades hiding behind the building near the High Elf deployment zone. Lastly both the Ellyrian Reavers and the Dark Riders made vanguard manoeuvres pleasingly performing a symmetrical set of moves across the table. Is this the beginning of synchronised Warhammer?

High Elf Turn 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn1.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4034.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4035.jpg)
Turn 1 and the Prince bravely pops his head out from behind the forest.

Eager to get to grips with their hated kin, the High Elves declared a wrath of charges with both Eagles diving toward the Dark Riders – though one of them failed to cover the distance, and the Ellyrian Reavers ploughed into the Shades*. Foolishly I placed them just far enough away to allow Jack to stand and shoot resulting in two of the horsemen being shot down.

The rest of the High Elf flanks advanced leaving a core shooting base behind (which as it turned out was a flawed plan as the Lothern Sea Guard and Mage were out of range for shooting and most of the magic!)

In the magic phase the winds blew an average strength, as I rolled 7 for the Power pool, however with most of Wizbit's spells out of range all he could do was attempt Shield of Saphery on the Dragon Princes, which was dispelled with a confident roll of three 6s by Jack. Wizbit then attempted Drain Magic to hinder the subsequent Dark Elf magic phase but that was also dispelled.

With the Lothern Sea Guard out of range the shooting phase was rather poor with the Archers only managing to kill two Crossbowmen, the Bolt Thrower missing the Manticore and the Shadow Warriors failing to wound the Dark Elf Warriors.

In combat, despite the advantage of charging the Reavers could only claim the scalp of one Shade. The Shades struck back inflicting two wounds, one of which was deflected by the armour of the High Elves. With bonuses for charging and standards the Reavers won the combat by two but the Shades refused to give an inch. On the other flank the clearly enraged Great Eagle managed to kill a Dark Rider with both of it's attacks, the Dark Riders despite their hatred only managed one wound in return. Cowering under the savagery of the beast, the Dark Riders fled only to be ripped to pieces by the pursuing Eagle. Who says Great Eagles aren't any good in combat?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4037.jpg)
The Sorceress stares down the beak of a rampaging Great Eagle.

*Ok, so you spotted the illegal move here. You can't charge on the first turn with troops that have made a vanguard move. We both missed this. But Warhammer I feel should be more like Scrabble as in you can make any move you like, but it is only found out if your opponent challenges it.

Victory Points - end of High Elf Turn 1:

Dark Elves: 0
High Elves: 92

Dark Elf Turn 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfTurn1.jpg)

The Dark Elves begun their turn with an ambitious charge from the Dark Elf Warriors on the Reavers to help out the Shades. However the spear armed elves were too far away to join the fray. Meanwhile the centre of the Dark Elf line repositioned to counter the threat posed by the Great Eagle that had broken through their lines and the Dragon Princes thundering towards them. Similarly the Sorceress bravely abandoned the Crossbowmen and headed for the relative safety of the Corsairs. Elsewhere the Dark Elves advanced towards the High Elven line with the Black Guard emerging from the cover of the hill and the Dreadlord landed his Manticore on the hill goading Prince Althran for an epic battle on the hilltop.

Wizbit attempted his best to counter the Dark Elf Sorceress but was clearly outclassed, just dispelling Chillwind cast on the Archers, despite rolling a 4 on 2D6. However he was unable to stop Bladewind killing two more Archers and then Word of Pain reducing their Ballistic Skill to a paltry 1.

In the shooting phase the Crossbowmen desperately tried to bring down the approaching Eagle, but despite five hits they could only do a single wound, leaving the beast alive on one remaining wound. The Cold One Chariot crew faired even worse as they missed the now handicapped High Elf Archers. However the Dark Elves ruled the combat phase as although the Ellyrian Reavers killed another Shade, the Shades slaughtered the remaining horsemen, before reforming, their eyes firmly fixed on their Nagarthye brothers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4038.jpg)
The Shades give the Ellyrian Reavers a bloody nose.

Victory Points - end of Dark Elf Turn 1:

Dark Elves: 158
High Elves: 92

High Elf Turn 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn2.jpg)

The Dragon Princes and Great Eagle declared a charge against the Crossbowmen, unwilling to face the Corsairs without some extra support. I ummed and ahhhed about sending Prince Althran and his Griffon against the Dreadlord and his Manticore, it was a long charge. But much heckling from Jack about it being an epic battle to fight on a hill, plus the option to use my Star Lance convinced me to go for it. Prince Althran digged his spurs into his mount, the Griffon nobly rose from the ground and hurried towards the Manticore, but then rolled too low for its charge and came to an abrupt halt a short distance from it's start point. I'd have probably heard the Dreadlord laughing, had it not been drowned out by Jack's laughing. Elsewhere the Lothern Sea Guard advanced so they could actually shoot, and the Phoenix Guard inched forwards, not wanting to get too far from the support of the other units. The second Eagle landed in front of the Cold Ones hoping to offer Jack a tempting target to draw them away from the action, but not landing so close as not to have a chance of getting away.

In the magic phase the winds again blew average for the High Elves providing Wizbit with eight dice. He attempted to cast Vaul's Unmaking on the Dreadlord to help out Prince Althran but this was dispelled by the Sorceress throwing in most of her dice to stop it. This left the Mage free to cast Shield of Saphery on the Archers, to protect them from the barrage they suffered in previous turns, and Flames of the Phoenix on the Corsairs killing five of them.

In the shooting phase the Bolt Thrower attempted to shoot the Cold One Knights, but despite five hits all were stopped by the tough armour of the lizard riders. The Archers faired no better with Chillwind meaning they needed 7s to hit the Corsairs, resulting in no wounds. However the Shadow Warriors managed to kill four Dark Elf Warriors with their bows.

The Dragon Princes unleashed their full fury on the Crossbowmen, hitting nine times and causing eight wounds. However one Crossbowmen survived after a cheeky parry save, but he was promptly ripped in half by the Great Eagle. The Dragon Princes overran, as they couldn't reform out of the Corsairs charge arc, whilst the Great Eagle reformed to face the flank of the Corsairs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4039.jpg)
The Phoenix Guard head across the lava strewn wasteland.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4045.jpg)
Prince Althran fails his charge as the Dreadlord looks down on him from the hilltop.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4046.jpg)
The Dragon Princes nearly clear the table edge.

Victory Points - end of High Elf Turn 2:

Dark Elves: 158
High Elves: 202

Dark Elf Turn 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfTurn2.jpg)

Jack kicked off his second turn with a raft of charges; unsurprisingly the Manticore flew headlong into Prince Althran and his Griffon. The Cold One Knights decided to ignore the Great Eagle to their right and attempt a long charge on the Bolt Thrower but they failed to reach it. The Shades also attempted a long charge, this one on the Shadow Warriors but in a recurring theme of this game they failed the charge too. Elsewhere the Cold One Chariot turned to face the Great Eagle in the hope of finally shooting the beast. The Dark Elf Warriors reformed to face the Shadow Warriors, spears at the ready, whilst the rest of the Dark Elven infantry advanced on the High Elf lines.

The winds of magic waned only providing four dice for the Sorceress, though it did allow her to dispel Flames of the Phoenix from the Corsairs. Without the Crossbowmen the Dark Elf shooting phase was limited, but it still provided a chance for Jack to finish of the cursed Great Eagle that had been responsible for the death of two units, sadly it wasn't to be as only one of the Cold One Chariot crew hit the Eagle and that shot failed to wound.

The important combat took place, Prince Althran's martial training allowed him to strike first but without his Star Lance he could only manage two wounds on the Dreadlord one of which was regenerated by the Armour of Eternal Servitude. The Dreadlord did three wounds, one of which was a killing blow, but fortunately this was saved by the ward save of the Guardian Phoenix. The Griffon's attempts to further wound the Dreadlord failed whereas the Manticore successfully did the final wound on Althran who toppled from his steed's saddle. This was too much for the Griffon who broke from combat only to be rundown by the Manticore. Suddenly things were not looking so good for the High Elves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4048.jpg)
The Dreadlord slaughters Prince Althran and his Griffon.

Victory Points - end of Dark Elf Turn 2:

Dark Elves: 713
High Elves: 202

High Elf Turn 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn3.jpg)

The Phoenix Guard began the turn by charging the Corsairs, whilst the rest of the High Elf army repositioned itself for the next turn. The Eagles and Dragon Princes both moving to face the centre of the battlefield and the Cold One Chariot. The Shadow Warriors, passing their leadership test to see if they were march blocked, ran round the back of the Dark Elf Warriors moving them out of the charge arc of either the Warriors or the waiting Shades.

In the Magic Phase Wizbit used his five power dice to cast Vaul's Unmaking which Jack was unable to dispel removing the Tome of Furion reducing the Sorceress repertoire of spells. The shooting phase saw the Lothern Sea Guard and Archers unleash a volley of arrows in the direction of the Black Guard, five of them dropped down dead. However the Bolt Thrower's attempt to skewer the Manticore missed.

In combat an Assassin leapt out from the Corsairs unit striking down a Phoenix Guard, but the Phoenix Guard did well killing the Sorceress and five Corsairs. The Corsairs themselves rolled badly only doing four wounds, despite the presence of a Master, all of which were promptly saved by the Phoenix Guard's ward. Losing the combat by eight, the Corsairs broke only to be rundown by the Phoenix Guard.

Victory Points - end of High Elf Turn 3:

Dark Elves: 713
High Elves: 864

Dark Elf Turn 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfTurn3.jpg)

With the demise of three characters in the Corsairs unit Jack was desperate to claw some victory points and so swung the Cold One Knights into the flank of the Lothern Sea Guard. Meanwhile the Dark Elf Warriors and Shades again manoeuvred to try and get the Shadow Warriors in their charge arc. The Manticore swept along the south edge of the board to threaten the High Elf missile troops. Whereas the Black Guard out for vengeance spun round to face the Phoenix Guard.

With the Sorceress dead the magic phase was non existent, so it was onto the shooting phase. The Shades shot down one of the Shadow Warriors, while the Cold One Chariot finally got its prize and shot the Great Eagle that had claimed so many Dark Elf scalps.

In combat the Lothern Sea Guard did manage to cause a wound on the Cold One Knights, but it was deflected by their black armour. The Cold One Knights managed to kill a surprisingly low four of the Sea Guard. Fortunately for the Sea Guard, they passed their break test and managed to reform to face the Cold One Knights head on.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog4051.jpg)
The Manticore bares down on the Archers.

Victory Points - end of Dark Elf Turn 3:

Dark Elves: 763
High Elves: 864

High Elf Turn 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn4.jpg)

The Dragon Princes swept down into the Cold One Chariot in an effort to rack up more victory points, the Shadow Warriors again moved to avoid the Dark Elf Warriors and Shades. The Phoenix Guard and remaining Great Eagle turned to face the approaching Black Guard. Whilst the Archers swift reformed in a desperate bid to shot down the approaching Manticore.

The Winds of Magic again blew weakly, but Wizbit is able to cast Shield of Saphery on his own unit to help them withstand another round with the Cold One Knights. Meanwhile in the shooting phase the Bolt Thrower and Archers lose a volley at the Manticore but it emerges completely unscathed.

In combat the tide turned for the Cold Ones now they didn't have their lances and had to face the full ranks of the Sea Guard. The Sea Guard themselves cut down two Cold One Knights, and then Wizbit, the Mage, managed to strike down a third with his staff (go Wizbit!!!). Shocked the Cold Ones only managed one wound in return which was saved by the Shield of Saphery. The Cold One Knights broke from combat, only to be pursued by the Lothern Sea Guard but they failed to catch them. The Dragon Princes inflicted five wounds on the chariot with their lances, but three of those wounds were saved by the chariots hefty armour save. In return the Cold Ones inflicted two wounds, and with two rolls of 1 for the armour save two Dragon Princes tumbled from their steeds. With the success of the Cold Ones the chariot refused to flee leaving the Dragon Princes locked in combat.

Victory Points - end of High Elf Turn 4:

Dark Elves: 763
High Elves: 889

Dark Elf Turn 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfTurn4.jpg)

The Dreadlord's Manticore bellowed a loud roar as it ploughed into the Archers, too close to stand and shoot the best they could do was pass their terror test so as not to flee. The Black Guard led by the Master with Battle Standard charged into Caradryan and his Phoenix Guard eager to avenge the loss of the Corsairs. Meanwhile the Cold One Knights rallied and the Shades and Warriors continued their dance with the Shadow Warriors, the Shades managed to pick off another High Elf with their crossbows.

With the points so close all the combats were important as they could potentially swing the game. In combat the Dragon Princes did another wound to the Cold One Chariot for no wounds in return, leaving the Chariot on one wound but unwilling to flee. The Manticore and Dreadlord ripped into the Archers but were unable to kill enough to stop them being steadfast, and buoyed by the fact they managed to wound the Manticore once, the Archers refused to break. Caradryan lead the Phoenix Guard by example, killing two Black Guard and the Phoenix Guard went onto kill a further three. In return the Black Guard inflict five wounds, but three were saved by the Phoenix Guard's armour and the other two were saved by their ward. The Battle Standard Bearer did bring down one of the Phoenix Guard, but it wasn't enough to win them the combat. However they easily passed their break test and carried on fighting.

At this point the pub had shut (about five hours ago), so we were forced to call the game and with no extra victory points scored this turn, the scores remained:

Victory Points - end of Dark Elf Turn 4:

Dark Elves: 763
High Elves: 889

Meaning a narrow victory for the High Elves, just scraping a win (over a draw) by 26 points (pretty much the bonus for getting the Cold One's standard).

Conclusion

So a win, just, though would I have won if it lasted until Turn 6? Maybe, the Cold One Chariot was doomed (as were my Archers), hopefully I could have got to grips with those Cold One Knights and then the Black Guard were suffering at the hands of Caradryan and co. But I did have a Manticore on the loose, and I think my Shadow Warriors only had a few more turns of running left. So perhaps.

All in all, the plan went reasonably well, the left flank certainly broke through the Dark Elf lines, the right flank went a bit off the boil. And the centre infantry broadly did what it was supposed to do. So which units did I think performed well, the Phoenix Guard proved they're not just defensive infantry dealing with the Corsairs and keeping the Black Guard in check (in fairness I had some jammy ward save roles, but having played against Phoenix Guard many times, I think it's my turn!). Special mention to the lone Great Eagle who took out the Dark Riders, helped with the Crossbowmen, and annoyed the Chariot for two turns before finally being brought down. And then there's Wizbit who not only didn't blow up all game, but held his own in a rather lack lustre magic phase (without the Banner of Sorcery we'd have been lost) and then he also clobbered a Cold One Knight dead.

But on the bad side, the Ellyrian Reavers died straight away, in fairness they'd made an illegal move so probably deserved. One day I'll use them correctly, one day, you'll see. Prince Althran really should have declined his charge, as it lead to him being fodder for his alter ego, Manticore riding Dreadlord, instead once I failed the long charge he was as good as dead and then I had a Manticore flying around to deal with. However worst performer has to go to the Bolt Thrower who must have been loaded with rubber bolts, the few that did hit failed to wound – not a single kill to the deadliest piece of Elf weaponry. Shocking.

All in all a good game, many thanks to Jack for playing with me/putting up with my note taking. Next time my Prince is getting the charge in, next time...

That's it for this now. Who knows next time I may have even finished the Swordmasters by then (or alternatively I have already finished them, but have twittered on enough about battles so am saving them for next week - who can say?)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 15, 2011, 01:21:59 pm
nice report, sounds like a right good fun game.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 15, 2011, 04:05:30 pm
Cheers mate was a fun game, fluffy lists are the way forward. Glad you liked the report, probably shouldn't have spent so long drawing in the lava fields. Dam Lee for making such a complicated board  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 15, 2011, 05:23:09 pm
I was amazed by just how accurate your map was, and in no way at all obsessive compulsive...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on September 16, 2011, 08:08:24 am
I love the maps, they are super cool! You didn't really draw all of those in Paint did you? I'm surprised it didn't drive you totally mental. Perhaps for the sake of your sanity I shouldn't have picked the lava board to play on!

It was exciting reading about my armies exploits in full colour battle report glory, it feels like a proper White Dwarf report (except that we actually know the rules and didn't fix it so the latest shiny toys won - oh wait, there was that vanguard thing... oops). The little unit markers are cool as well, did you draw the icons too? I may have to steal those at some point  :wink;m::

I enjoyed using the toys I don't normally bring out like Mandy the Manticore (now famous with a mini-blog of her own!). The Prince vs Dreadlord showdown was very exciting, it was unfortunate that your griffon stalled and had to be put back into 1st gear at the crucial moment!

We'll have to continue the shakeaway saga with a game against my Tomb Kings when they're finished - I'll pencil you in for 2013 then!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 16, 2011, 09:22:58 am
There may have been some obsessive compulsive Paint Shop Pro action going on here  :blush:.

You get your hands off my unit markers Jack!!  :starwars:

Don't get the Tomb Kings invovled that'll be another set of bloody icons I have to draw, how about a rematch with exactly the same armies on the same board making all the same moves, but this time maybe we go on until Turn 6?!

Anyway on a completely unrelated note...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 16, 2011, 09:26:44 am
Update 14 – Friday 16th September 2011: I told you there was something cheesy about the Queen.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I lead a lonely and tedious life, with all the joy of a lifetime subscription to What Misery! magazine. Even Facebook e-mailed me this week to tell me it was giving up on our relationship and was going to stop e-mailing me in the future. Nice. So as I sit here in my bedroom relentless tapping at the keyboard like a woodpecker, only with 85% less purpose in their life, I'm alone. My flatmate's down the gym, which is depressing, not just because I'm alone, but also because he's put me to shame. All I've done today is waddle to the kitchen to get a cake. I didn't even waddle back with the empty plate.

Anyway no longer, I've come up with a plan to turnaround my social fortunes and develop myself as an "internet celebrity". It's a plan so genius that even Professor Stephen Hawking would sit up and say "that's genius" albeit in a robotic voice. Turns out the one of the most popular things on the internet at present are conspiracy theories, there's a constant internet buzz around anything to do with conspiracy theories like flies swarming around a steaming turd or turds swarming around the News of the World phone hacking case. People are desperate to know any and all goings on to do with conspiracy, it's like Heat Magazine but with all the pages covered with a scratch and sniff section made with crack cocaine. The plans is if I become the central authority on a conspiracy theory I'll become an internet sensation and give my life some meaning.

Now I could simply join in with the existing conspiracy theories, but if I'm going to go with this plan, then I'm go for it 100%. And rather than competing to be a minor informant on an existing conspiracy theory I'm going to need to develop my own new exciting conspiracy theory, one which I can be the centre of all authority on. Sadly Delia Smith is yet to write her book on how to cook up a conspiracy theory, however having studied a number of the more popular theories I've worked out they all  follow a similar pattern which hopefully I can replicate. As they said on the Hindenburg "What could go wrong?".

Up first we need our central conspiracy, it needs to be easily expressed as a concise sentence, because let's face it we need to lure in the simple gullible people first. Generally these conspiracy theories consist of saying something that we all think did happen, actually didn't or that someone who we thought didn't do something actually did. They're bite-size statements that on the face of first glance seem ludicrous, but represent such epoch-shattering consequences if they turn out to be true that even people who don't care, can't help but take notice. Much like if you saw a newspaper report that Bobby Davro had died in a tragic blancmange making accident, you don't really care, but you'd have to look just in case it contained a picture of his nose squished in a food blender or such like. So we need a central conspiracy theory hmmm..., I know:

The entire Royal Family is actually made from Dairylea.

It fits our plan; it's both ludicrous sounding but potentially has far reaching consequence if it's true. I mean imagine if it were true, would the entire United Kingdom constituency collapse? Would we have to replace our coins with Ritz crackers? And would lactose intolerant people demand we become a republic?

Of course there will be people who claim our theory is wrong, people say who've met the Queen or know a little bit about the science of creating artificial live from Dairylea Triangles. The beauty of a conspiracy theory is that we can just claim that they're in on it. It doesn't matter if these people have no rhyme nor reason to be involved in our conspiracy theory, the simple fact that they claim we're wrong gives the whole theory gravitas.

Now we don't need to prove that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is actually constructed from processed cheese, no bizarrely the thing with conspiracy theories is that the onus of proof lies with the doubters to prove that our conspiracy theory is wrong. However it helps if we can find some statements to back up our original accusation. Generally these statements aren't evidence; they simply represent gaps where the evidence supporting the counter opinion (to the conspiracy theory) doesn't quite meet. Gaps which in the real world would be covered by common sense. But we all know just like Danni Minogue there's no room for common sense in our world any more. So for example if your partner (ewww I said partner in a non bitter sense, I feel quite queasy) wanders in with a cup of tea for you, common sense dictates they've made you a cup of tea. But did you see them make the tea? No! For all you know they boiled the water poured it down the sink and then pissed in a mug. You can't be sure, and that's what conspiracy theories rely on that element of doubt in the obvious. So here are my supporting statements to the theory that the Royal Family is in fact made from Dairylea, I'll think you'll find it hard to disagree:

1. The Queen always wears gloves; this is so she doesn't leave a cheesy residue on any person she shakes hands with.

2. The Royal Family never travel together on the same aircraft; this is because there's not enough space to keep them all in the fridge and stop them going off.

3. Licking a stamp tastes disgusting; much like licking Dairylea tastes disgusting.

4. The Queen wears a lot of silver in her crowns and robes; this is to keep her foil fresh, so she doesn't start to whiff at state occasions.

There. Irrefutable facts in the fight to prove the truth about the Royal family.

Next up we need someone with some scientific kudos to support our cause. It doesn't matter if the vast majority of scientists agree on the counter argument; just one crack point scientists opinion can cause a storm of controversy. Take global warming, all scientists agree it's happening except one deranged man in his garden shed who is currently growing potatoes in the shape of Jedward. This one man's opinion leads to worldwide doubt on whether the destruction of mankind is happening or not. Fortunately I have a scientific background, the fact that it is in physics and not in biology or cheese studies is not important (no one will check), so I'll release a paper claiming I have proof the Royal Family is made from Dairylea. It doesn't matter that it's not scientifically accurate, as no scientist worth their salt will bother reading it, let alone refuting my claims.

The final thing we need is a reason for this conspiracy, a perpetrator if you will. Like all good pantomimes we need a villain, Cinderella has the Ugly Sisters, the X Factor has Tulisa's stylist. And this conspiracy needs a villain too, politicians are an easy choice as people find it completely believable that they're actually the devil incarnate – well have you seen the way Peter Mandelson looks? So we'll say that Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg stuffed the real Royal Family into an airing cupboard in Wolverhampton, and had them all replaced with Dairylea clones – except the Duke of Edinburgh who he had recreated in feta cheese. This way he could divert all the money spent on the Royal Family to buy a giant teddy bear so he could hug away the pain.

There a fully crafted conspiracy theory, that everyone will be contacting me about to find out the latest developments. It doesn't matter that I've ruined the memories or the achievements of other people, or that I've distracted from the real and important issues that actually matter in our world. Because in the end all that's important is creating a hubbub of activity about nothing to feel my and others boring and meaningless lives.

So go on spread the news, the Royal Family is made from Dairylea (or spread the Royal Family on your crackers). The authorities will of course deny it, but that's what they would say.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 16, 2011, 11:15:10 am
Wow, I never realised!  I'm pretty sure this will have far reaching impacts upon my life...

p.s. Painted anything recently?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on September 16, 2011, 11:53:27 am
Wait til the Daily Mail get hold of this: "Diana was made of cheddar" - there'll be a public outcry!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 16, 2011, 03:58:52 pm
Quote from: Dave on September 16, 2011, 11:15:10 am
p.s. Painted anything recently?

Perhaps not.  :blush: Not that I'm filling or anything!

Quote from: maelzch on September 16, 2011, 11:53:27 am
Wait til the Daily Mail get hold of this: "Diana was made of cheddar" - there'll be a public outcry!

That's the spirit Lee getting spreading the theory!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 18, 2011, 10:48:07 pm
Cheesey Royalty...Hmmm
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on September 19, 2011, 09:32:55 am
Oh, I have to share that one of the highlights of my weekend was a visit to Shakeaway, Kingston!

Fresh Strawberry and Creme Egg Shake ftw!!! It was so good I actually forgot to buy the Space Marine game, which was most of the reason for the trip  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 21, 2011, 10:01:46 pm
Quote from: Meals on September 19, 2011, 09:32:55 am
Oh, I have to share that one of the highlights of my weekend was a visit to Shakeaway, Kingston!

Fresh Strawberry and Creme Egg Shake ftw!!! It was so good I actually forgot to buy the Space Marine game, which was most of the reason for the trip  :thumbsup:

Horray another convert to the cult!! Hope you'll be donning the light blue and yellow robes soon!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on September 22, 2011, 12:18:44 am
My mate used to be the manager there. The secret Baileys Shakeaway was yummy.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 12:24:57 am
Mmmmmmmmmmm, that is a secret I want to know, though it will have to try hard to beat the Lindor Shakeaway. Mmmmmmmmmmm x 1000
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 08:28:54 am
Update 15 – Thursday 22nd September 2011: Disc you'd believe he'd done any painting?!

Welcome back to planet Procrastination, and well done to Dave who's noticed that I haven't actually done any painting for a while. He can't be fooled by battle reports, Shakeaways and conspiracy theories, damn him.

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

But he needn't despair (presuming this blog is all he cares about in his life), because I've actually done some painting. Yep those deliciously vicious Swordmasters finally got finished. So in all their glory here they are, for those of you uncomfortable with changes of photographic background, be warned there's lots of different tables here!

Stage 2 – Swordmasters of Hoeth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3330.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3337.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3341.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3343.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Wash Badab Black
Cloth: Layer 1:2 Astronomican Grey : Skull White
Plumage: Layer Golden Yellow
Armour Trim: Layer Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown – washed with Ogryn Flesh. Dheneb Stone – washed with Badab Black. Calthan Brown – washed with Badab Black
Banner Field: Layered with Regal Blue

Stage 3 – Swordmasters of Hoeth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3852.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3853.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3855.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3846.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3850.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Skulls (on base): Layer Khemri Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Plumage: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Armour Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown – washed with Ogryn Flesh. Dheneb Stone – washed with Badab Black. Calthan Brown – washed with Badab Black
Banner Field: Layered with Ultramarines Blue

Stage 4 – Swordmasters of Hoeth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers448.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers453.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers458.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers461.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers472.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, flock with Static Grass
Skulls (on base): Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Plumage: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Armour Trim: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh, then Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Hair: Vomit Brown – highlighted with Bleached Bone. Dheneb Stone – highlighted with Skull White. Calthan Brown – highlighted with Bubonic Brown
Banner Field: Layered with 1:1 Ultramarines Blue : Enchanted Blue*

The blue and yellow details on the banner were painted as the normal trim, the sword was painted Adeptus Battlegrey, then layered Codex Grey and Fortress Grey on alternate panels to give shading to the sword).

Those of you with obsessive compulsive completion disorder, like myself, will be excited to know that (bar the spare command models/characters) I've now painted up the entire contents of two Isle of Blood sets and this is what that looks like:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers478.jpg)

Fun isn't it?! It amused me anyway.

The Swordmasters have already been out on the field of battle, after taking on a horde of stinky Beastmen. I was impressed at their choppy up ability (technical term) successfully slicing through lots of Gors – and yes Ol I should have deployed them with a wider frontage! I was playing a 2,400 point battle which my new Elves haven't done before as I don't have enough. This allowed the Swordmasters to come, but I had to expand the Lothern Sea Guard with 6 proxied Spearmen. I hate proxying (doing it myself not other people doing it – I find only playing with painted models being what they actually are, keeps my buying in check, if I played with unpainted models I'd have nothing stopping me buying everything in Games Workshop). Anyway I found 24 Lothern Sea Guard, 4 ranks of 6, a tasty proposition as they were able to bring a lot of spears to bear, so maybe an extra rank for them to come. Sadly it wasn't meant to be, my Ellyrian Reavers got rolled over by a runaway chariot, and my shooting couldn't whittle down the mass of Gors heading my way in time. The Swordmasters were the last to fall hexed to buggery by the 4! (that's "I'm shocked it was 4", not 4 factorial – mathematicians may have been confused) Beastmen Shamans. Still it's always nice to see the Beastmen win and I'm not bitter given the number of times they've lost pathetically for me. It's really bloody good to see the Beastmen win. No not bitter at all.

The Scions of Tzeentch

In other painting news, yes people there is other painting news, haven't I been a good boy?! I've been assembling lots of characters for my Warriors of Chaos army, you could say I've been character building. Character building get it? Character building? Oh piss off, you try and write something funny about assembling some plastic and metal models.

Having beefed up the core with lots of lovely Marauders last month, I felt it was time to build up the characters, sadly all I currently have is an Exhalted Hero and Sorcerer on foot (just on foot no one mounted on anything – I know, oh dear).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers486.jpg)

You may notice one of them is the old Aekold Helbrass model, well done bonus points to you.

I'm currently constructing a number of characters, primarily as I had a load of models I hadn't got round to painting which hopefully should give me a bit more choice. I'll show off some more next week, but for now here's my new Lord on Disc of Tzeentch (who will be a Chaos Lord/Exalted Hero/Sorcerer Lord/Sorcerer as I see fit).

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this random photo to get you all excited about something (that I then forgot to write about):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog719.jpg)

Well this is the base for my Disc rider, I was reading the various Chaos Army books and was intrigued by the description of Tzeentch's crystal garden so I thought it would be cool to have crystals sprouting from the ground at the Disc's feet (if the disc had feet).

The crystals are large pieces of slate from the Warhammer Basing Kit. To make them look more like they'd burst through the ground, I moulded green stuff around the base of each crystal to represent displaced soil before covering in sand as per usual.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3038.jpg)

Hopefully by the end of it you'll be convinced?! We'll see. Oh and apologies, it's quite difficult to photograph models well, when they're still in bits!!

Stage 1 – Tzeentch Lord on Disc

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers100.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers104.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers107.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers112.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Crystals: RED: Mercherite Red; GREEN: Dark Angels Green; BLUE: Necron Abyss; PURPLE: Warlock Purple
Disc: Hormagaunt Purple
Flame: Skull White
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Horns: Khemri Brown
Pale Blue Robes: Shadow Grey
Dark Blue Robes: Necron Abyss
Leather: Scorched Brown

Stage 2 – Tzeentch Lord on Disc

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers124.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers128.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers121.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers130.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Crystals: RED: Drybrush Blood Red; GREEN: Drybrush Snot Green; BLUE: Drybrush Regal Blue; PURPLE: Drybrush Liche Purple
Disc: Layer 1:1 Hormagunt Purple : Warlock Purple, then layer Warlock Purple
Flame: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh : Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Horns: Wash Badab Black
Pale Blue Robes: Layer 1:2 Space Wolves Grey : Shadow Grey
Dark Blue Robes: Layer 1:2 Enchanted Blue : Regal Blue
Leather: Wash Badab Black

Stage 3 – Tzeentch Lord on Disc

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers169.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers172.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers162.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers156.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Crystals: RED: Drybrush Fiery Orange; GREEN: Drybrush Scorpion Green; BLUE: Drybrush Enchanted Blue; PURPLE: Drybrush Tentacle Pink
Disc: Layer 1:1 Warlock Purple : Liche Purple, then layer Liche Purple
Flame: Layer Blazing Orange, then layer Fiery Orange
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Horns: Layer Khemri Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Pale Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 Space Wolves Grey : Shadow Grey
Dark Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Regal Blue
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Stage 4 – Tzeentch Lord on Disc

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers265.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers273.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers267.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers268.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers276.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers280.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock*
Crystals: RED: Wash Baal Red, then drybrush Blazing Orange; GREEN: Wash Thraka Green, then drybrush Scorpion Green; BLUE: Wash Asurmen Blue, then drybrush Ice Blue; PURPLE: Wash Leviathan Purple, then drybrush Tentacle Pink
Disc: Layer Wash Leviathan Purple, then highlight edge Liche Purple
Flame: Layer 1:1 Fiery Orange : Blood Red
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold : Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Horns: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Pale Blue Robes: Layer 2:1 Space Wolves Grey : Shadow Grey, then wash Asurmen Blue, then highlight Space Wolves Grey
Dark Blue Robes: Layer 2:1 Enchanted Blue : Regal Blue, then highlight Enchanted Blue
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown.

With regards to basing I used burnt grass near to the crystal eruptions to make it look like the crystals have seared their way through the ground, using normal scorched grass further away, the snow was then flocked, but keeping it away from the crystals to give the impression it had melted as they erupted.

And hopefully it looks alright? Thoughts people I need constant attention!

A couple of announcements now, first up I'd completely forgotten that back in Update 9 (oops) I reopened the What's In The Box? competition, as I've forgotten, you may well have two! So if you'd still like to select a box between 1 and 36 then you've got a week to do so. Full rules/point to the whole endeavour in Update 9.

And a quick note that on Saturday I will be taking part in the doubles tournament in Waaagh X at our very own OG Club. My Tzeentch Warriors of Chaos, led by their new Lord on Disc, are pairing up with Steven's Skaven – what could possibly go wrong, bar spelling, punctuation and grammar. If you can't make it, shame on you, but technology willing (and that's a big statement) you can follow my day at my new Twitter page linked to this blog. Just got to www.twitter.com/ProByNumbers (http://www.twitter.com/ProByNumbers) (as Procrastination by Numbers is too long for a Twitter name) to see live (yes live) battle updates from the tournament of how we're getting on! What's the betting the first update will be my Chaos Lord's flying base has snapped?!

And of course I'll give you a full update on here next week. See you on the Twittersphere. Go on follow me, like a psychotic stalker, you know you want to!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 22, 2011, 09:24:56 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 08:28:54 am

But he needn't despair (presuming this blog is all he cares about in his life), because I've actually done some painting. Yep those deliciously vicious Swordmasters finally got finished. So in all their glory here they are, for those of you uncomfortable with changes of photographic background, be warned there's lots of different tables here!
Phew, I can relax again.

Quote from: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 08:28:54 am
I've now painted up the entire contents of two Isle of Blood sets and this is what that looks like:
Where's the skaven  :wink;m:: (and the second griffon and mage... Pedantry for the win!)

Really like the disk rider, I'll need to try and work on fire at some point as I'll be needing it for some malifaux figs I'll be picking up shortly.

and if I'd not said it before, box number 1.


Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 11:19:31 am
Quote from: Dave on September 22, 2011, 09:24:56 am
Where's the skaven  :wink;m:: (and the second griffon and mage... Pedantry for the win!)

Ok you got me on the Skaven, but I noticed you ignored the line before what you quoted for me that said: (bar the spare command models/characters) which I took to mean the Griffon and Mage!!

Quote from: Dave on September 22, 2011, 09:24:56 am
Really like the disk rider, I'll need to try and work on fire at some point as I'll be needing it for some malifaux figs I'll be picking up shortly.

Cheers mate, the trick is just layering every shade of yellow and orange you can find, only use a hint of red else it looks too cartoony!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 22, 2011, 02:03:50 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 11:19:31 am
Ok you got me on the Skaven, but I noticed you ignored the line before what you quoted for me that said: (bar the spare command models/characters) which I took to mean the Griffon and Mage!!
Ok you got me, I only skimmed it  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 22, 2011, 02:06:00 pm
Quote from: Dave on September 22, 2011, 02:03:50 pm
Ok you got me, I only skimmed it  :blush:

Well get back to reading, I didn't skim write it!  :wink;m:: :wink;m:: :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 23, 2011, 08:17:41 am
Update 16 – Friday 23rd September 2011: Terror available freely for NHS patients on the High Street

Think your life is bad, spare a thought for people like me and Cinderella in fact for Cinders it all got a bit too much...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers349.jpg)

...as I discovered on a walk near my house this week. Sorry children if you're reading, it probably wasn't a painful death!

What Cinderella clearly needed was a stay-cation, for those of you not wanky enough to know what a stay-cation is, it's basically where you take a vacation but stay at home. Stay-cations are excellent for those people without any friends or loved ones to go on holiday with, step forward me. One advantage of the stay-cation is that you can get all manner of things done. You know all the things that you really should get done in the weekend, but can always far more frivolous things to do and thus put them off. Leaving tasks like sorting out your house, cleaning the bathroom and finding a purpose to your life all undone for weeks on end. A stay-cation can be perfect because it gives you an opportunity to get these done, primarily because you run out of things to put them off with after seven days. Obviously I didn't get any of these things done, what with having the attention span of an attention-deficient child who has just been fed a skip filled entirely with sherbet dip.

Rather than doing any of those important tasks I decided instead to go and give my body a full MOT. I managed to go to the doctors, dentists and opticians all in the same day. A list of activities that can feel even the bravest man with fear. Often it depends what you are going in for, as to which of these is going to be the most scary. Obviously if you've got an entire volume of Encyclopaedia Britannica wedged firmly up your arse then I'm guessing that the doctors will top the fear list, that and you've probably recently been banned from the popular reference section of your local library.

However typically the dentist tops people's list of terror, for some unknown reason the thought of someone boring into your mouth with Channel Tunnel drilling equipment whilst charging you an amount somewhere in the region of Greece's national debt for the privilege, isn't top on people's to-do list. I have to say I never really had a big problem with the dentist; my top reason for not going is laziness. Despite this I finally made it in, during my stay-cation allowing someone to poke around in my mouth like a squirrel searching for where it buried it's nuts made of plaque. Turned out I needed a filling, now don't judge (I know I do when I hear someone's had to have fifteen teeth removed, invariably telling you as the down a six-pack of Coca-Cola), but I didn't need a new filling, an old one had broken. In fact my teeth are doing better than the fillings, I've got enough dental floss coming out my mouth to string up the Blackpool Illuminations. So there Mr or Mrs Judgmental.
I've never been that bothered by the drilling part of the dentist, largely because the provision of anaesthetic generally counters my primary objection to a fully operational dolls' house scale set of power tools being operated in my mouth. Though I must admit the angle grinder attachment that comes out to sand down the finished teeth is a little disconcerting and if anything feels like a little too much craftsmanship. My main objection to the dentist is the vacuum cleaner like hose that is inserted into your mouth to presumably suck up flying bits of tooth, gum or tongue that occurs during the construction work. The sensation of a high powered suction pump pull air at force ten gale speeds through your teeth is probably one of the most unpleasant things I've ever experienced. It's like having your tongue extracted by a Henry Hoover without the reassurance that at least it can offer you a dam good blow job when it's finished.

Bit much? Sorry.

On this particular visit, the experience was not helped by the fact that the operator of said "Suction Tube of DeathTM" was a ruthlessly efficient German woman, who never once raised her surgical face mask and only ever replied to any statement with the word "Yah". She showed approximately 5% more personality than the Cylons from Battlestar Galactica or about 150% more personality than Piers Morgan for those requiring a reference other than Battlestar Galactica.

However for me, it's not the dentist that evokes the greatest sense of dread as I walk down the High Street, no it's the opticians. Don't agree? Well I ask you this, which of these sounds most like the goings on in an underground government torture facility, having your teeth drilled into whilst under anaesthetic, OR having metal frames strapped to your head whilst an array of powerful lights is shinned into the deepest recesses of your eyes and you're ordered to recite a jumbled list of pointless letters off the wall. See. On the gates of Guantanamo Bay there's a sign that reads "twinned with Dollond & Aitchison, Swansea Branch".

My regular opticians is Boots the Opticians whose tagline, coincidentally, is Should Have Gone to Specsavers, this has been earned to the general haphazard nature of the service provided. It's not that any, ok not that many, of the front line staff I've met haven't been anything other than pleasant and competent. It's just that they're invariably always reporting on some calamitous disaster that has happened behind the scenes, like the inadvertent fitting of the lenses of the Hubble Space Telescope into my new glasses during the manufacture or accidentally placing of next month's contact lenses in the eyes of a passing badger. It's almost like the head office is being run by the Chuckle Brothers, ably assisted by Jedward as their PAs. In fairness they clearly employ clever mind-reading staff though, as every time they detect me wavering and considering moving to another optician, they offer me a discount and suddenly it all becomes right again. It turns out I am happy to trust my eye care to a bunch of cretins who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery, even if the instructions were written in a chart of decreasing font size on the wall, so long as they offer me a hefty discount.

For those of you who, unlike me, weren't blessed with the optical strength of a rusty teaspoon at birth, and therefore would have at least a decent chance of reproducing were the government to reintroduce survival of the fittest as a policy again, you might not be familiar with the journey to hell (on a rail replacement bus service) that a typical visit to the opticians represents. First up you're seen by assistant, rather than an optician, it's their job to operate on you with the shop's latest torture devices. Previous examples include the device which blasts a jet of high pressure air directly into your eyeball to see what reaction this produces. Invariably it causes me to flail around uncontrollably until I punch the assistant in the face, at which point they usually stop. This time the latest device of mass destruction was a piece of equipment designed to provide an exceptionally detailed photograph of the back of the eye. Which it captures, apparently, by detonating a naval grade distress flare approximately two nanometres from the surface of your eyeball, the resulting flash of light being enough to stun a fully grown African Elephant. Still all these escapades pail in comparison to the time when I was given drops to open the pupils of my eyes for an in depth examination. I was told the drops took about thirty minutes to kick in, but it was an exceptionally hot day, and the air conditioning in the waiting room had broken so the helpful optometrist suggested I go for a browse down the High Street. Approximately twenty minutes later at the height of the midday sun, my pupils opened to their maximum aperture on a permanent basis. Thus causing me to have walk back to the opticians in absolute agony, shielding my face as best from the sun as possible, whilst forcing my eyelids to go against their every natural desire and stay open in the blinding sunlight. I had so many tears streaming down my face I looked like a pre-pubescent teenage girl who'd just heard that Take That had broken up.

Those who survive the first round of pain, which feels like it's been closely modelled on the first round of Total Wipeout, are then allowed into the optician's examination room, a Santa's grotto of torture equipment decorated with cross-sections of the human eye. Although worryingly my opticians has now started doubling up doing hearing tests, so this time round I had to sit next to a fully annotated diagram of the ear. Which given the usual competence of Boots the Opticians lead me to worry that someone might try and fit a hearing aid under my right eyelid. However there's no time to panic, as instead a giant metal arm swings round to pin you into the Mastermind style chair. The opticians then proceeds to shine a blinding light into your eyes whilst commanding you to look left, look up, look down and blink on command as they invade your personal space. After five minutes of this they ask if you ever experience sore eyes or see flashing lights, "YES" straight after you decided to blind me for a laugh. Next up they proceed to cover one of your eyes whilst showing you the traditional optometrist chart depicting the letters of various sizing. Unfortunately despite having the modern technology required to actually project the chart on the wall, most opticians appear to have only one set of letters, meaning the examination of the second eye simply becomes a memory puzzle to see how much you remember from the previous eye.

After all these you are presented with your prescription, which unlike an NHS prescription costs a dam sight more than £7.40 when they utter the immortal line "you need new glasses". Yes, because if it wasn't enough to be born blind enough to mistake a hat stand for your parents, over the next twenty years of your life your eyesight will deteriorate faster than the Liberal Democrats opinion poll.

Choosing glasses is always a horrid affair fraught with danger, even if you have contact lenses you're probably going to need to spend a good proportion of the next few years of your life with these glasses proudly displayed on your nose for all to see. There aren't many facial features you get to choose, and the process of choosing glasses proves that in most cases you're better off sticking with nature's lottery – unless of course you're me and you look like you were constructed by a deprived child using the Halloween Edition of Mr Potato Head. Unlike a t-shirt which can be subtly placed at the bottom of a drawer after a few wears once the realisation sets in that you've made a bad choice, glasses that turn out to be a rash purchase remind you of their existence for a long time to come, unless you're prepared to shell out a three figure sum for another set. This can be where it's a good idea to take a friend with your for honest advice, though don't take a wise guy joker as you'll probably end up looking like Deidre from Coronation Street's less fashionable cousin.

Of course if you don't want to pay a fortune you can always ask for NHS glasses, provided of course you can convince them you're a small child. At this point a secret drawer will be opened up beneath the lush display cabinets of glasses, the inside will be filthy and its contents will look like a lost property cupboard in a school populated by only those with no taste. I don't see how it's any cheaper to make glasses that look as bad as these glasses actually do; in fact I suspect extra money has been spent to make them look hideous. I think the deal is that if you want the rest of the tax paying community to pay for your eyesight that's fine, so long as you're prepared to go around with pieces of plastic strapped to your face that look like they would survive orbital re-entry to give everyone who has paid for them a good laugh.

Sadly at the young age when I first needed glasses, my parents had a different philosophy. They firmly believed that if you're going to wear glasses you should be proud of this fact and wear the biggest and boldest rimmed spectacles you find, much
like Dame Edna Everage, except without the comic irony. Effectively they paid to put me in NHS glasses, as at that age my only aesthetic requirement was that they be blue. And maybe this one fact explains my true terror at the thought of revisiting the opticians.

Still with glasses like that it gave people something to laugh at other than my face, in some ways it was a welcome relief.

Oh and on that tragic note, just a reminder that on Saturday I will be attempting to tweet from Waaagh X as my Warriors join forces with Steven's Skaven to lose badly at every game we play. You can follow all the tweeting at www.twitter.com/ProByNumbers (http://www.twitter.com/ProByNumbers)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 26, 2011, 08:13:09 pm
Apologies for highjacking my own blog. But Procrastination is Procrastination so I guess anything goes, and it's to help a friend of mine who works on Big Brother.

He would like to say: "Audience spaces for Big Brother's Bit on the Side with Emma Willis are available up to the end of the series. Please email audience@bbbitontheside.com or call 0208 324 2764 must be 18+"

Normal service will resume shortly, thank you for sitting through the adverts!


Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on September 26, 2011, 08:43:20 pm
I'd vote for Ol!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 03, 2011, 07:21:55 am
Update 17 – Monday 3rd October 2011: Procrastination about Projects

First up apologies for my lack of blogging activity last week, what can I say, I had things on! Primarily involving preschool children, but that's between me and the high court judge.

With the sunshine beaming down on us this weekend and me lacking any social life to speak off, I've used it as an opportunity to finish off a load of odd bits and pieces that I started over the summer. Sort of representing a nice book end to the summer. It sounds planned, it's not. It just adds some useless back story to an uninteresting blog, in the vein hope you'll muddle your way through the plot to the end of the post, much like and episode of 24:

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

Phoenix Guard

After quite a few test runs with my High Elf army I've come to the conclusion that I like Phoenix Guard, whilst they're primarily a defensive unit with their hefty ward save they seem to do a reasonably good job at being aggressive too. However 10 models isn't really big enough in my book for a full defensive block, I can't throw these in the way of an approaching Bloodthirster baring down on me desperate to rip off my Elven testis  (metaphorically speaking, hopefully). So I finally got round to finishing off the second box of 10 I have, look at that juicy unit now:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers489.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers494.jpg)

Here you can see them marching under the all-seeing eye of Smirnoff.

Caradryan has clearly been promoted, possibly for making a mess of the Black Guard in my last battle report. I won't bother you with a painting guide for these, if you're interested check out pages 24-28 of the old Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves blog (which still seems to get an inordinate number of hits given it hasn't been updated for months – more so than this blog, sad times!).

High Elf Hero

I also finally got round to painting up a High Elf hero that I purchased and basecoated back when the High Elf army book came out a couple of years back when mullets were in fashion and mobile phones were the size of family pack lasagnes. In the interests of tedium I've not put a stage by stage guide up, as there are lots of bits to get through this week, and it's primarily the same colours as usual – if you do want one send a stamped addressed envelope to the usual address, including a postal order for £4.50 made payable to The Procrastinator and I'll send you a fact sheet.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers496.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers500.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers504.jpg)

For those of you interested it's a Direct Only model from the then Collectors Range, which I particularly liked. Hence I bought it. See logic.

Tale of OG Gamers – The Scions of Tzeentch

As I told you about the other week, I've been character building this summer, literally character building!? Still not funny? Even now you've had a week to think about it? Come on, it's genius?! Oh well.

First up I decided to paint the two new plastic Chaos Sorcerer models that came out recently. These were actually started painting on a work trip where sadly I was unlucky enough to have to spend a week filming on a Mediterranean Cruise – sad times, I know feel sorry for me.

Seriously feel sorry for me, look at how much of my suitcase I had to fill up with scripts!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers065.jpg)

No room for many paints – sad times.

Now if you weren't already sad for me, you should be because it only bloody pissing well rained all week, look, here's the deck in the rain

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers061.jpg)

And here's exotic Naples after we nearly got struck by lightning

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers063.jpg)

Still could have been worse at least Vesuvius didn't erupt, that would have been annoying:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers062.jpg)

Anyway with all that rain there was plenty of time for some cabin based painting; here you can see the two Chaos Sorcerers getting a lick of paint:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers003.jpg)

And if you're still not feeling sorry look at that alarm clock, set for 6am, that's surely not fair. Oh and I also got stalked by Alexander, the strange man who cleaned my room (for a hefty tip – which I didn't realise at the time) and left behind these freaky towel constructions in my room:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers064.jpg)

What the hell is it? Some screaming baby monster, what's more freaky is it's head is a separate flannel as I found out when I picked up the creature and it was left behind like a scary head in my bed, like a present from the bath robe mafia. Incidentally you could buy a towel folding DVD to replicate this "creation" yourself for only $9.99 I was tempted – there's a few people I don't like, who it would make a good Christmas present for.

And finally am I the only person who finds this picture exceptionally annoying:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers060.jpg)

English should be represented by the Union Jack, bloody Americans stealing everything -piss off. It's only because otherwise they'd be too stupid to find the English button. Mini-rant over.

In exciting news this has really helped boost the resident five year old's chart of all the locations I've painted in:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers509.jpg)

Anyone fancy paying for a holiday so I can add some new legs to the journey? No. Spoil sport.

This weekend I got the Sorcerers painted up and here they are:

Chaos Sorcerer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers285.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers287.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers290.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers292.jpg)

This is the unaligned Sorcerer model, but the presence of the eye on the staff allowed him to easily look Tzeentch with an appropriate colour scheme.

The skin is layered up from Enchanted Blue through to Ice Blue with some Asurmen Blue wash applied. The Eye is layered all the way from Necron Abyss through the full range of blues to 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White (borrowed from the High Elves) with a line of pure Skull White in the centre and some of the blue painted on the surrounding gold to give a glowing effect. The blue robe is Shadow Grey layered with a number of coats up to Space Wolves Grey and washed with Necron Abyss.

Chaos Sorcerer of Tzeentch

And here's the "officially" Tzeentch one:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers300.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers302.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers304.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers307.jpg)

In this case the pink skin was a base coat of Warlock Purple layered up to Tentacle Pink and washed with Leviathan Purple.

Chaos Lord

I also got around to assembling and painting up this Chaos Lord on foot:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers309.jpg)

It's the exclusive model from Games Day 2009 which I purchased from eBay. Really loved this model when I saw it and wasn't disappointed in the flesh. I've always been a fan of Chaos back since 4th edition when it was one giant army, but even with the myriad of Chaotic beasts available for me Chaos is always best represented with a Warrior encased in Chaos Armour (and with a proper helmet, none of these exposed heads/skulls malarkey, that's not proper Chaos). I've added a skull to the base from the Warhammer Basing Kit, but otherwise it's as is from the packet.

Finished up he looks like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers544.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers540.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers542.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers546.jpg)

Now if you've kept track of this blog (I hope you are, I will be asking questions), then you'll know one of the reason I've been adding Chaos characters is to expand my selection from one Hero on foot and one Sorcerer on foot, so you'll probably feel the above characters have failed in this mission (you'd be right), but they were nice models so I got them done – plus a handful of Sorcerers is always helpful for Storm of Magic.

But to expand my selection I've also painted up a few different bits:

Daemon Prince

I've been reliably informed Daemon Princes are rubbish, which given my playing style makes them the perfect addition to my army! Now has anyone else had that annoying experience of picking all your favourite elements of the frame of a multi-part kit with multiple options only to realise you've created the exact model on the box? Well that's what happened with my Daemon Prince, but I felt I had chosen the most Tzeentch-esque parts:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers324.jpg)

To give him a bit of a character and a Matty touch (don't be rude!) I decided to give him two Pink Horror "pets", which I've chained to his armour using some chain I cut off a cheap necklace I bought in the Debenhams sale (specifically for the purpose of stealing the chain I should add). We probably shouldn't think about what happens to the Horrors when the Daemon Prince actually takes flight!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers327.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers334.jpg)

Fully painted he looks like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers512.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers514.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers520.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers522.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers524.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers528.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers531.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers532.jpg)


The Daemon Prince's skin starts off with Moridan Blue on the feet and Hormagaunt Purple on the upper body, layered to Liche Purple and Enchanted Blue respectively (washed with Asurmen Blue and Leviathan Purple) in the central areas I've mixed the base colours and washes to give a graduation. Which I found was helped by highlighting the wrong way round so to speak (so the more blue areas of mixed skin were highlighted in Liche Purple and the more purple with Enchanted Blue). The membrane of the wings was painted Warlock Purple and highlighted by adding increasing amounts of Bleached Bone to the Warlock Purple (again trusty Leviathan Purple was used). The Pink Horrors were undercoated Liche Purple and painted all the way up to 1:1 Tentacle Pink : Bleached Bone, and then washed 1:1 Baal Red : Leviathan Purple.

I think to represent the Pink Horrors on the base in the game, it would be fair to give him a bonus 3D6 Strength 8 attacks in combat – sound fair? Either way I think in a Storm of Magic game he'd be good a character (given magic levels) as on a fulcrum he'd have the profile of a Chaos Lord, a 2+ Ward Save and only one model can engage him in combat a turn! Winner (or maybe you can spot an obvious flaw?)

Chaos Warrior Battle Standard Bearer

And finally I painted up another Chaos Hero on foot, but don't worry this one I converted to carry a Battle Standard, so he will be useful! Surprisingly, despite their use under 8th edition rules, a number of the armies don't have an official Battle Standard Bearer model from Games Workshop and the Warriors are no exception. But given that, unless you're prepared to fork out for a Chaos Lord, the best leadership you can muster is 8 (gone are the days of a hefty Ld 10 Warriors from 4th edition), a Battle Standard Bearer seems invaluable – the number of times my Chaos Trolls have rolled a 9 for their stupidity test defies probability, so it was time to get converting.

To make mine I cut off the axe from a Chaos Warrior on foot model (this is the old metal version, as this model is now in the Finecast range), and added the standard from the Pink Horror plastic set.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers318.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers317.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers316.jpg)

The standard pole is almost dam near straight, much like Heart DJ Toby Anstis. Given the model comes posed with one foot on a rock I added a load more bits from the Warhammer basing kit to give him the impression of striding through some rocky terrain (or maybe the ruins of a building he's recently toppled).

Finished off he looks like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers560.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers551.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers552.jpg)


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers555.jpg)

So there you go in a couple of months we've gone from a paltry two Warriors of Chaos characters to a mighty eight!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers563.jpg)

What a busy weekend of finish off models?! Hope you're happy.

Now given this weekend probably marks the final death throws of summer – only 84 days until Christmas after all, and I've managed to finish off a load of part started bits and pieces now looks as good a time as any to have a review of all my current painting projects and see where I am at:

Current Hobby Projects

Beastmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3621.jpg)

Regular readers of my work will know I have a massive Beastmen army (5,500 points), currently these have fallen a little out of favour – Beastmen fatigue! Don't worry they're certainly not forgotten, but I'm rather fortunate that I am in position to be able to store and support a number of armies, rather than having to get rid of an old one to find money/space for a newer one. Which means I can switch between them as and when I get bored, saying that there isn't much more to add to the Beastmen. All that I have outstanding to paint are the parts to convert a Razagor Chariot, but after the mission I had assembling my other Razagor I'm not sure I can face it – and given that after painting up four Beastmen chariots they all collapsed during their first battle I'm tempted to wait for all the bits to be available in Finecast. Which may seem wasteful, but it may save a large therapy bill in the long run.

On that note I've made a decision that I'm not going to buy any new metal models – sick of them collapsing in transit, so anything that is currently in metal I'm going to wait until it hits the shelves in Finecast. This rule pretty much hinders any further Beastmen purchases.

Here's what I'm current looking to add to the army:

•   Cygor & Ghorgon – not really sure how I'd convert these (maybe a Cygor from the Giant kit, but no ideas for the Ghorgon).
•   Minotaur Lord – awaiting Finecast
•   Razagor Chariot – see above
•   Special Characters (other than Malagor and Ghorros) – I love painting special characters, a really nice chance to work on usually a very well crafted model with a bit of extra character (even if no one wants to play them). But much like the Lord awaiting Finecast.
•   Minotaurs – could probably take another unit of Minotaurs, they were fun to paint and my vast horde only includes six. But might wait until I get a lord.

So probably no further Beastmen just yet.

High Elves

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3970.jpg)

My army has exceeded it's original 2,000 points (shown here) with Swordmasters, extra Phoenix Guard, Alith Anar, extra Reavers (for limited purpose) and a couple of Nobles. But I would like to add some extra bits:

•   White Lion Chariot – the only unit I've never painted up for the High Elves (including my old army)
•   Dragon/Dragon Mage – still never painted up a High Elf Dragon, admittedly in gaming terms it's just a more expensive Griffon to be shot at, but for character alone I need to paint a Dragon for my High ELves.
•   Dragon Princes – a second box of five would be nice to add to the unit.
•   White Lions – the only new models I don't have, with the Phoenix Guard and Dragon Prince being such amazing kits I think I need to get myself some of these!
•   Spearmen / extra Lothern Sea Guard – the army only just struggles to enough core for 2,000 points, so an extra rank of Lothern Sea Guard and some Spearmen would address that.
•   Special Characters – again I've painted the only High Elf Finecast model at present (not in Finecast), but I'd love to add Tyrion, Teclis and Eltharon (if only for the fact they were the classic characters from 4th edition!).

In recent months I've done a good job clearing the Elven backlog, all I've got left to paint are a couple of chariot kits (which will do me my White Lion Chariot), a Dragon kit that I've had for ages, Korhill who again I've had for ages and some Spearmen left over from my batallion. So hopefully they can get done.

Warriors of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers189.jpg)

With the last few months painting of Marauders and a host of characters, I've cleared all my backlog of unpainted Warriors bar the new Manticore kit:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers321.jpg)

Which I'm currently put off assembling by the decision to use magnets to allow me to switch between the various builds (thanks for all the advice by the way), it still scares me to the point where I'm wondering if it would just be easier to buy two more kits!!!

Though I have found you can make a Zombie Manticore where he looks like he's pulled off his own head really easily:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers346.jpg)

There's an idea Undead players (though I believe you can't have Manticores any more) - rubbish.

Here's what I'd like to add to the Warriors one day:

•   Chaos Warriors – I only have 15 of these which is pretty poor, after all this is the unit the army is named after so definitely want some more of these.
•   Foresaken / Warshrine – don't really have any ideas for converting these up so have to wait for new kits here!
•   Chariots/Ogres/Hellcannon – all these models exist but not yet in Finecast (though I think I may have some Chariots which I bought way back in 5th somewhere!). I actually like the Chaos Ogre models, but can't be arsed with assembling the metal versions and as for the Hellcannon...
•   Special Characters – not many Tzeentch special characters to go with here, bar Galrauch who again is metal and potentially an arse to assemble!
•   Dragon Ogre Shaggoth, Mounted Chaos Lord – both these have made it to Finecast and I think may well get added to the army soon. Could these be my first Finecast models? Who knows, who cares, who's still reading?

So as you can see until some more Finecasting or new modelling occurs, not too much I can add to the Warriors.

Dwarfs

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers579.jpg)

My first painted army way back when 7th came out were the Dwarfs, they haven't been out for a while. But with a new book planned soon (hopefully with some new big guns), they may make a return. Though I'm not sure I like the grass bases any more, but can I be bothered to rebase all hundred of those I've already painted – no. I've got most of the units painted up already bar Runesmith and Gyrocopter so even when they do come out shouldn't be loads to add! He says now.

This will be the first time an army I've played with regularly and fully painted has got a new army book (all my other armies I've waited until a new book before starting), so we'll see how annoying it is when they change all the rules for my favourite units.

Bretonnians

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers574.jpg)

I've always been a fan of the Bretonnians, and I have a load of 5th edition models, plus the current set look quite tempting. A new book is rumoured for them soon (too many new books too close together) so this could be the start of them. I actually like the idea of doing individual heraldry for each model (well I do now, I'll get back to you when I'm on my tenth knight!). Shakeaway heraldry anyone?

Orcs & Goblins

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers569.jpg)

I've always been a fan of these, but been daunted by the idea of starting them as they have so many unit options and model kits I'd be bankrupt starting a new army. However I recently got out my old 4th edition models and found I could do a decent 3,000 point army without buying any new models. So maybe a 4th edition Orc & Goblin army could make a nice/cheap project, monopose Goblin spearmen for the win?!

Terrian

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers581.jpg)

You may remember at the beginning of this blog I made grandiose plans about finishing a battlefield full of terrain by October. This has failed. Let's move on!!

Talisman

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers584.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers633.jpg)

Recently I found my copy of the 3rd edition Talisman in the loft, and thought this would make a fun little project to paint up the models, and some nice variety too. I did look up the prospect of buying the expansions off eBay but unable to remortgage my house I think this may be a pipedream.

Dreadfleet

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers567.jpg)

Sorry best picture I could do!

So temptation swallowed me any I purchased Man O'War, I mean Dreadfleet. The idea of a little painting project which won't lead into me buying any new expansions kits or models really appealed. And then when I found it each ship was from a different race giving me a load of painting options, I was drawn in hook line and sinker! Still at least it won't take up too long, maybe?!

Warhammer 40,000

It would be a bad idea to start up a new game system... wouldn't it?

So there we go there's all the potential projects I could be getting on with. Thoughts on what I should do are most heartedly encouraged (please reply in the usual manner), though they may be ignored. And yes I have listed about a billion pounds of models that I'd like to paint, god dam it!

And finally, thanks for all your What's In the Box? entries, I've decided to do a celebrity draw, for this month's winner – more on that later. And I did promise photos/feedback from Waaagh X, as Twitter followers know myself and Steven came a respectable 8th. Sadly it was out of 8. Photos and lamentations to follow.

See you next time!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 03, 2011, 09:56:51 am
That BSB looks awesome, you've really got flames down well, a really nice effect.

Seems like you've been on a real streak with the painting, dunno if you find it helps to be working on a couple of different armies or if that's just coincidence?

If I were to pick one model for critique (by which you can tell I'm going to) it would be the daemon prince, the horrors look ace but the big guy himself looks a bit flat.  Perhaps taking the wings up with an brighter highlight for some further contrast would do it for me.  Those big expanses of flesh really need some extra love to get the same effect as a smaller fig.

All in though great stuff, also like your bronze/gold metals on the WoC, what's the technique?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 03, 2011, 12:44:16 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 03, 2011, 09:56:51 am
That BSB looks awesome, you've really got flames down well, a really nice effect.

Seems like you've been on a real streak with the painting, dunno if you find it helps to be working on a couple of different armies or if that's just coincidence?

Cheers, I find just lots of colours for flames works, and avoid going too red! Maybe I should try magical green or blue flame one time but not sure that would work out so well!

I find different armies do help with breaking it up so it's not so monotonous - though in fairness nearly all these characters were nearly done before this weekend so this post has probably implied a level of speed that isn't actually accurate!

Quote from: Dave on October 03, 2011, 09:56:51 am
If I were to pick one model for critique (by which you can tell I'm going to) it would be the daemon prince, the horrors look ace but the big guy himself looks a bit flat.  Perhaps taking the wings up with an brighter highlight for some further contrast would do it for me.  Those big expanses of flesh really need some extra love to get the same effect as a smaller fig.

I know what you mean, I think he looks a bit better in the flesh than the photo, but I may have overwashed slightly! I'll see what the opinion is when he pops up in the club tonight, maybe some extar highlights would help (I'm sure that'd be fine over varnish, probably?!)

Quote from: Dave on October 03, 2011, 09:56:51 am
All in though great stuff, also like your bronze/gold metals on the WoC, what's the technique?

Cheers there's two golds a darker and a lighter one:

The darker one (which is the same as the High Elf one) is basecoat of Tin Bitz, then completely covered in Shining Gold, wash with Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight with 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver (find you only need a bit of Mithril Silver to lighten the gold), and then a pure highlight of Mithril Silver (though I only bother with this on characters). This is used on the beak of the Pink Horror and the centre of the arrow on the Daemon Prince's barding.

The lighter one (used on the armour plates on the thighs of the Daemon Prince) is exactly the same swapping the Shining Gold for Burnished Gold. Though my tip if you want to use both on the same model is not to wash them all with Gryphonne Sepia at the same time, as it's being like sort black and navy socks in trying to work out which were Shining Gold and which were Burnished Gold!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 04, 2011, 03:55:29 pm

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers064.jpg)

WTF is that? Seriously creepy!

Just caught up on the blog buddy, some stirling work, LOVE the Prince, must see him up close...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 04, 2011, 04:48:46 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 04, 2011, 03:55:29 pm
WTF is that? Seriously creepy!

I know you can imagine how scared I was when I returned to my cabin!

Quote from: fatolaf on October 04, 2011, 03:55:29 pm
Just caught up on the blog buddy, some stirling work, LOVE the Prince, must see him up close...

Cheers man, you missed him last night hacking away through some Mournfang Cavalry (with the help of some Chaos Knights) and an Ironblaster. Sadly the rest of my army was getting butchered elsewhere, but you know them's the breaks!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 10, 2011, 08:51:43 am
Update 18 – Monday 10th October 2011: Is Anybody Out There?

First up big thanks for all the responses and suggestions to what hobby projects I should work on next (as mentioned last week) really valued every comment. Oh wait a minute... there weren't any, not one! And I thought a picture of third edition Talisman would definitely make some of you more excited than Bruno Tonioli judging Strictly Come Dancing.

You now sometimes I wonder if anyone is actually reading? Am I just speaking to myself? Is this blog just like bipolar disorder being acted out over the internet?

Well I've thought of a good way to test if anyone actually is paying attention, the rest of the post will be a false post, very similar to a usual weekly post but with a few red herrings let's see if anyone is eagle-eyed enough to notice and spot anything amiss. Then we'll know the devastating truth.

First up I have to insert a couple of paragraphs of blabbering on about nothing, so here goes:

Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, High Elves, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, Shakeaway, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, moaning, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, children's television, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, Warriors of Chaos, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, blah de blah, blah blah blah LEGO, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, for God's sake, blah blah. 

Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, What's In the Box?, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, Beastmen, blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, blah de blah, blah blah blah Dreadfleet, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah bleurrgh, bloody X Factor, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah de blah blah bleurrgh, vomit, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah bleurrgh, still sodding single, blah blah.  Blah blah blah, blah de blah, blah blah blah blah de blah, blah blah blah blah de blah, blah blah blah  bleurrgh, and maybe some painting, blah blah. 

And of course we need a picture of what I've been doing this week:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers066.jpg)

Obviously this is a false photo I'd never go into sblended the bitter rival brand to Shakeaway.

Up next we need a joke, here's a good one I heard: "What do you call a woman with two c**ts?"

Answer: N-Dubz

Again clearly false, because A) it's funny, B) I'd never use such rude language and C) I don't know who N-Dubz are.

And finally what have I been painting this week? Well this week I've painted this wall:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers714.jpg)

For anyone hoping to copy this I mainly used Frosted Dawn from the Dulux paint range. I had to use a small brush to get round the central heating control panel.

There the cunning trap is laid, a post so similar to normal that only someone with a super intellect would spot it's not real.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 10, 2011, 09:51:04 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 10, 2011, 08:51:43 am
High Elves, ...Warriors of Chaos, ... Beastmen,
Cool, sounds like a productive week having done some more work on all your armies.

What happened with the Talisman project, decided to put it on hold till you get the WoC up to a reasonable size?

I've not tried the dulux range, or foundry or P3 for that matter, what's the coverage like?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on October 10, 2011, 10:11:05 am
Good painting update matt, look forward to seeing it finished. You going to try some NMM on the wall?

;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on October 10, 2011, 11:48:47 am
Who knew this blog could be so useful. Prior to reading it I thought that Sblended was some type of sugar replacement thingy whereas infact it is some type of shakeaway replacement thingy. Both inferior to the original product but useful when you're totally desperate I assume.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 10, 2011, 03:41:31 pm
Nice Wall, love the highlights....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Rob Maley on October 11, 2011, 10:42:32 am
Wall looks a bit flat to me.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on October 11, 2011, 12:33:37 pm
the wall isn't 3 colours basic
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 11, 2011, 12:39:33 pm
Quote from: sainthale1988 on October 11, 2011, 12:33:37 pm
the wall isn't 3 colours basic
philistine, that's some high quality monochrome paint scheme and you throw out 3 colours basic... Honestly, some people.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 11, 2011, 01:24:37 pm
Wow! Who knew? You paint some models - a couple of comments. You paint a wall on the forum goes crazy (yes I consider 7 replies crazy).

Quote from: maelzch on October 10, 2011, 10:11:05 am
You going to try some NMM on the wall?

The door handle shown there is actually plastic, I think it's turned out alright. Though probably would have been quicker if I hadn't done the whole wall using a Fine Detail Brush.

Maybe in the next update I'll talk about painting Dreadfleet. Or maybe I'll tackle the tricky issue of skirting boards. Any votes as to what it'll be?

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on October 11, 2011, 01:42:46 pm
matt, you free for a campaign game either this or next thursday?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 11, 2011, 04:00:31 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 11, 2011, 01:24:37 pm
Maybe in the next update I'll talk about painting Dreadfleet.

Yes please, need some ideas before I start on my fleet...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 11, 2011, 04:05:39 pm
Sorry if you clicked back for a proper update with pictures and stuff (still gets the page impressions count up!) - I'm actually resorting to chit-chat and arranging social life now!

Quote from: sainthale1988 on October 11, 2011, 01:42:46 pm
matt, you free for a campaign game either this or next thursday?

Can't do this week I'm afraid (due to other commitments - and not having finished my campaign army!), next Thursday should be fine! Can do Slot 2 or late Slot 1?

Quote from: fatolaf on October 11, 2011, 04:00:31 pm
Yes please, need some ideas before I start on my fleet...

I may end up just copying the detailed painting guide from this month's White Dwarf, it's very good and detailed actually! And usefully tells you what bits not to glue before you paint them - always helpful!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on October 11, 2011, 04:09:42 pm
late slot 1 next week sounds good. see you then.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 11, 2011, 04:18:28 pm
Quote from: sainthale1988 on October 11, 2011, 04:09:42 pm
late slot 1 next week sounds good. see you then.

Cool - I best get painting!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 25, 2011, 12:47:04 am
Update 19 – Tuesday 25th October 2011: Santa and his little Elves

Apologies for my lack of blogging last week, I had a nasty case of man-flu, or what unsympathetic woman call "sniffles", piss off you get grumpy once a month that's your thing, we get ill with the "sniffles" ok. It's all fair. Anyway here's what I would have talked about if I hadn't been in my bed dying – that's right dying!

What's In the Box? – The Results

Regular readers of this blog will know that it goes hand in hand with calamity, in much the same way that Liam Fox goes around hand in hand with Adam Werritty, except with much less subtlety. As such seventeen months ago I asked you to choose a box for our regular competition What's In the Box? – I then promised you a special guest draw master to pick which of you results would win.

Sadly after meeting said special guest, I forgot to ask them to do it, ahhh. So I guess I'll have to do it myself. Here are all "last" month's entrants (I am using the word "last" very loosely). Anyway here they are, and their boxes:

Dave – 1

Fatolaf – 2

Meals – 3

Maelzch – 13

Crompton – 16

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers898.jpg)

As usual all the numbers were put in a Shakeaway Cup and a "winning" entry (really we're all losers) was drawn at random and this month's winner was...

Drum Roll please.

Box Number 13!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers899.jpg)

Yes after countless months playing this game Lee has finally won. Let's see What's In the Box?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers901.jpg)

Ahhh, it's empty, which is especially funny given I actually ran this draw genuinely.
Sorry mate.

Sadly it does make this blog look like even more of a fiasco. Let's move on.

Tale of Two OGs

So those of you with a slender grip on what's going on, on this forum will of course have noticed that a brand new campaign has kicked off. Yep it's The Tale of Two OG's set in the city of OG (a suspiciously convenient sounding name if you ask me) as the forces of good confront the forces of evil in order to claim the town and win fortune, warpstone and Shakeaway vouchers.

As the game-y player I am (no), I've decided to throw my lot in to the campaign, sadly Team Good drew the short straw and I'm representing them with my High Elves. Oh yes the Shakeaway Elves march to war in order to screw up and generally not help at all.

Veteran readers of my blogging exploits will remember that early in the year I ran a coalition-themed Beastmen army (yes you did read that right), with characters representing all the major political figures.  Sadly this plan backfired as my opponents decided to take out their frustration at the current socio-economic situation by wiping my army out on multiple occasions and inflicting scores of injuries on my characters. Poor old Cameron the Bray Shaman. Anyway in a bid to avoid the same fate this year I've themed my Elven army around something that everyone loves and is exceptionally topical so no one will want to kill any of my units or characters. See a genius idea, how can it possibly fail?! I've even added a set of special rules which I think add some character to the army without conferring any unfair advantages to me whatsoever so hopefully you'll all be up for me using them.

Without further ado, I'll unveil my Winter-themed High Elf army, meet Santa and his Elves:

Santa and his Elves

SANTA

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1060.jpg)

Santa, is the illegitimate Father of Christmas and has been trying to gain custody of the City of OG for months now - though he hasn't had to resort to dressing up as Spiderman and hanging off Big Ben yet. He is a Level 4 mage with High "up a chimney" Magic – yes I've already lowered my level to such a tenuous joke, and I'm not telling you his magic items (nice try Team Evil). He will be spending the campaign delivering presents to Team Good's army (metaphorical presents before you get any ideas).

Special rules:  All enemy units in base-to-base contact lose one Attack as they give him a Mince Pie and Sherry.

FROSTY

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog888.jpg)

Frosty the Mage is teased by the other High Elves for his carrot nose and coal eyes, fortunately the Mage is able to survive in the frosty Northern wastes of OG City due to the coldness. Over on the lava board he might melt. He can both sing really high notes with Aled Jones and in order not to become completely frozen in the cold arctic wastes is a Level 2 Fire Mage (look it's the best I could come up with ok, don't judge).

Special rules:  Immune to all cold-based attacks.

Fair Eee

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers069.jpg)

Fair Eee the Battle Standard Bearer is from the old decorations box, hence his poorly painted (and photographed) nature. He spends a large part of his duties mounted on top of a Christmas tree which doesn't improve his temperament much. He is in charge of waving around the Christmas banner, decorations, tinsel and lights.

Special rules:  Frenzy, due to spending large part of the year with tree up his arse.

LOTHERN SEA SHOPPERS

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog198.jpg)

24 Lothern Sea Guard, embitten by the tough prospect of Christmas shopping, they are able to skilfully wield their gift wrap rolls in unison to fight a path through other Christmas shoppers. They trudge on unforgiving and mercilessly looking for their final gift.

Special rules:  Hatred of all, Christmas shopping does that.

CAROL'S ARCHERS

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2187.jpg)

20 High Elf Archers, led by Carol. The archers sing proudly and loudly as they string their bows. They then tie request for money for their collection to the arrows before launching volley after volley into the enemy.

Special rules:  Banshee style singing attack, that does 3D6 Wounds with no armour save on any target with 48".

RUDOLPH'S PRINCES

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3957.jpg)

5 Dragon Princes with reindeer antlers mounted on their armour. The Drakemaster's steed has a red nose, which is oh so bright guiding them on the way. The red nose is caused by excessive sherry drinking, though he does get bullied by the other horses.

Special rules:  Reindeer Poo, the terrible smell of reindeer poo gives anyone attacking the Dragon Princes a -2 to hit.

SANTA'S SLEIGH

You may notice there's no photo here... as they used to say on Dead Ringers "More on that story later"

Santa's White Lion Chariot, after an unfortunate traffic warden related incident last year delivering presents. Santa decided to take no chances and replaced his reindeer with White Lions who can now tear their way through any traffic enforcement officers.

Special rules:  Flight – how else would he deliver all those presents?

ICING GUARD

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2876.jpg)

The 15 Icing Guard form the toughest part of the High Elf army with their armour forged from the impenetrable Christmas Caking armour as first created by Aunty Margery in her diabolical labatory. The icing can shrug all but the most powerful of blows.

Special rules:  1+ Ward Save due to the Icing Armour

TURKEY CARVERS

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers459.jpg)

The 17 Swordmasters carve their way through every Christmas turkey on Ulthuan serving up sections of leg and breast for all the family and doing the washing up later in the day.

Special rules:  The Turkey Carvers cause terror in all models with the flight special rule.

THE TURKEY

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2068.jpg)

Turkey , the Great Eagle lives in constant fear of every Christmas, however has a lovely smell of sage and onion. He often flies ahead of the rest of the army in case the Turkey Carvers need any practice.

Special rules:  Heavily stuffed with Sage & Onion mixture gives Turkey, the Great Eagle +3 Toughness.

THE STOCKING FILLER

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2154.jpg)

Stocking Filler the trusty Bolt Thrower is capable of stuffing 120 children's stockings every minute. Sadly for the children it does this from a distance of 250 metres with a solid steel bolt. Serves them right, should have been better behaved.
Special rules:  All enemy armies fear the Bolt Thrower lest it fills their stockings with coal.

The astute amongst you, as in those who bothered to read the above bit, will have noticed I'm missing a White Lion Chariot, well here goes:

Stage 1 – White Lions Chariot
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers607.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers610.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers618.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Detail: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Detail: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Wood: Khemri Brown
Lion Skin: Dheneb Stone
Hair: Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown
Elf and Lion Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Claws: Chaos Black

Lions

Rock: Chardonite Granite
Grass: Goblin Green
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Armour Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Mouth: Liche Purple
Teeth: Khemri Brown
Lion Body and Fur: Dheneb Stone
Hair: Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown
Elf and Lion Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Claws: Chaos Black

Stage 2 – White Lions Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers668.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers670.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers676.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Detail: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Detail: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Lion Skin: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Hair: Wash Badab Black
Elf and Lion Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black : Kommando Khaki

Lions

Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Grass: Layer Camo Green
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Armour Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
Mouth: Layer Dwarf Flesh
Teeth: Wash Badab Black, layer Khemri Brown
Lion Body and Fur: Dheneb Stone
Lion Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black : Kommando Khaki

Stage 3 – White Lions Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers734.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers738.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers742.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Detail: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Detail: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Lion Skin: Layer Desert Yellow
Hair: (Vomit Brown) highlight Vomit Brown OR (Dheneb Stone) highlight Bleached Bone
Elf and Lion Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black : Bleached Bone

Lions

Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Grass: Wash Tharka Green
Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Armour Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
Mouth: Layer Elf Flesh
Teeth: Layer Dheneb Stone
Lion Body: Layer Kommando Khaki
Lion Fur: Wash with Graveyard Earth, then wash with 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Scorched Brown
Lion Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black : Bleached Bone

Yes I haven't finished it yet, remember I was ill. Will I finish it in time for my first battle? Almost certainly not, as I've already had that battle. I'll be sure to tell you all about later in the week.

So there you go Santa and his Elves ready for his battle, are you going to be the one to kill him and ruin everyone's Christmasses for ever more, really will it be you? I don't think you can bring yourself to do it.

Oh and if not that's enough fun, and you're missing my rants? Here's what I thought about the first week of The X Factor, god help me. I tried my best to avoid it, but sadly I became subject to a portion of the show, not all of it you understand, else I wouldn't have had time to live my life, write this blog, or even get washed. Two and half hours!! I mean seriously! Who can stand it? Especially given it feels like a hell of a lot longer. Einstein's Theory of General Relativity states that time appears to pass more slowly for an observer who is stationary. I can only presume that during the average edition of The X Factor I become frozen in the exact spot I was sitting, with even the movement of the tiniest molecules in my body completely curtailed thus forcing me to sit through the maximum possible duration of the programme. I mean perhaps if the programme makers had made the programme slightly shorter than an eternity, it would have actually been physically possible for Simon Cowell to appear in both the US and the UK versions without having to violate the laws of time. And after two and half hours, is there really anyone who can stomach the thought of "turning over for more with The Xtra Factor" – seriously are you on some kind of suicide pact?

Fortunately I only caught the result show, of which approximately 75% is a recap consisting of pretty much all of the original show bar the advert breaks. But this week the "big twist" was the fact that rather than us voting, the judges were each forced to evict one of their own acts. The Sun said "X Factor contestants and judges wept last night as four acts were dumped from the show live on air in shockingly brutal scenes." Shockingly brutal, really? I don't remember that bit, were the losers savaged by a pack of wolves unleashed by Caroline Flack over on ITV2? In which case I'm disappointed I didn't turn over to The Xtra Factor. Obviously these "shockingly brutal scenes" were completely different to the previous week's exceptionally similar scenes where multiple acts were also jettisoned from the show by individual judges – but as it happened in the sunshine it's clearly not brutal (despite them being thousands of miles away from the support of any family and friends, unlike in the studio). Even poor old Dermot was shocked as Digital Spy reported "O'Leary described the changes to the opening live show as the "worst thing we've ever done",". Conveniently forgetting the fact The X Factor has previously mocked the mentally ill, exploited children as young as 14 by entering them in the show and worst of all given birth to Chico –  an act for which surely everyone involved in the entire production should rot in hell for, for all eternity as penance.

Thankfully unlike pretty much everyone else on the planet, I've managed to maintain my sense of perspective by remembering it's only a bloody reality show – these people would probably have been voted off anyway, and harsh as the "big twist" is, the only purpose it's really served is to save a lot of morons a fortune in telephone voting.

And I'm done... feel much better.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 25, 2011, 10:00:38 am
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MOCKED THE X FACTOR, U R A FUKN REETURD.

That about right for the level of intelligence of an x factor fan?

Nice post but I have to say what a cheap trick.  Including an empty box in your draw and not only that but making it Lee's favourite number was low.  And while you might not have asked for it (or if you have I skimmed that bit) I'd like number 1 for the next draw too (note I say draw rather than month).

Army looks a bit of fun, sure it'll wreck the hobby for someone (your or your opponent).

My club is about to kick off on the latest campaign season starting out at 1000pts and I'm going to rock out the woodies.  Our previouis 'it's not a campaign but it's small games and special rules' the organiser wrote a very detailed comp pack which was very nice of him, unfortunately it had a few holes wide enough to drive a bus through, so to prove a point I did exactly that.  This pack has a different comp system on it.  It includes the statement 'don't be a dick, if you are we'll kick you out the campaign'   Far more effective and I can't help but feel it's all down to me!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 25, 2011, 10:36:32 am
Quote from: Dave on October 25, 2011, 10:00:38 am
OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU MOCKED THE X FACTOR, U R A FUKN REETURD.

That about right for the level of intelligence of an x factor fan?

The correct use of an apostrophe is way above their level.

Quote from: Dave on October 25, 2011, 10:00:38 am
Nice post but I have to say what a cheap trick.  Including an empty box in your draw and not only that but making it Lee's favourite number was low.

There have always been empty boxes, I always say some boxes are better than other. Tis the luck of the draw or should that be drawer?  :))

Quote from: Dave on October 25, 2011, 10:00:38 am
This pack has a different comp system on it.  It includes the statement 'don't be a dick, if you are we'll kick you out the campaign'   Far more effective and I can't help but feel it's all down to me!

Nice to have a leagacy I suppose!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 25, 2011, 12:38:12 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 25, 2011, 10:36:32 am
Nice to have a leagacy I suppose!
And nice that it's lead to a better comp restriction, which was my intent.  As a club we self regulate pretty well so imposing a hard comp pack was pointless, so when I was able to prove it wasn't even achieving what it's designer had set out to do I was rather pleased.

Plus with me being the captain of Team Scotland for the ETC they're all a bunch of snivelling sycophants anyway, so I'll still get to abuse it for all I'm worth  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on October 25, 2011, 04:20:45 pm
On a slighty off topic note (which seems to fit the blog's theme nicely)... your comments about x-factor reminded me I recorded Merlin last weekend and watched the boxing. I had completely forgotten and will look forward to watching it tonight. Thanks Matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 25, 2011, 04:49:38 pm
Happy to be of service - I love Merlin too!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 25, 2011, 05:55:06 pm
Love the army theme buddy, good luck against the Beasties in round 2............ :rivertroll02: :rivertroll02: :rivertroll02:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 01, 2011, 08:57:44 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 25, 2011, 05:55:06 pm
Love the army theme buddy, good luck against the Beasties in round 2............ :rivertroll02: :rivertroll02: :rivertroll02:

Cheers mate, incidentally Ol you may be interested to know that a friend of mine on reading my other blog (yes I have another blog, I am a blog whore), messaged me to complain how it caused them to spray porridge all over their expensive laptop. Wondered if you fancied starting up a support group?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 02, 2011, 07:33:55 am
Update 20 – Wednesday 2nd November 2011: WH-at a Dump?

Sorry if you were expecting a blog detailing all my painting exploits this week and how I finished my White Lion Chariot, but I've spent this week queuing for a book of Second Class Stamps in WHSmith.

What's the scariest thing that can happen to you whilst walking down the High Street? Get caught by 15-year old Trick or Treaters, who are actually topical muggers? Seeing someone in a scary Halloween mask and then tragically realising it's just your own reflection in a shop window? Meeting Boris Johnson on the campaign trail? – Something which incidentally I have seen, fortunately I was looking down from the top deck of a bus, so was protected. Though saying that I am presuming he was campaigning for votes, for all I know he was flailing around the High Street asking people to tell him where his feet were. Going off on a tangent at this early stage, a couple of months back did you get a letter from him entitled Tell Boris What You Think?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers070.jpg)

The essential point of it seemed to be a survey that you could fill out about London so he (and by he, I mean someone else) could collate the results into useful sound bites saying how well he is doing. For example Question 4c) read "Since being elected, Boris Johnson has quadrupled London's rape crisis provision. Do you support his efforts to increase support for victims of rape?" Given the wording of this question, it's almost implicit that every single respondent, bar Julian Assange, would tick the yes box in response to this question. Thus generating the impressive but entirely fabricated soundbite, that 99.9% of Londoners support Boris Johnson's effort to tackle rape.

As a legal aside I should point out that Julian Assange has never been proved guilty of rape and I am sure he is a very nice man in person, though I wouldn't trust him with my diary.

What puzzled me is that presumably Boris's team of advisers helped him with this letter, otherwise it would have probably be written on the back of a telephone box and hand delivered by him on his bicycle. So surely they could have got to him pose for a better photo than this.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers071.jpg)

Here it looks like he's fallen through a hedge backwards and then is surprised by his own existence. Perhaps he is genuinely surprised by the fact that we are still yet to realise he doesn't know what he's doing? But surely his advisers could have got a photo where he looks a bit less moronic, or were they worried if they did, we wouldn't recognise him?

Anyway back to the point, the scariest thing that can happen when walking down the High Street is to accidentally walk into WHSmith having forgotten what an absolute abomination of a shop it's become. This keeps happening to me, I merrily walk into the shop expecting to find something nice in there that I want to buy and as soon as I enter the repressed memory that it's actually turned into a downmarket version of Poundland floods back (without the one redeeming quality that everything in there is a pound).

I'm sure not that long ago it used to be a decent shop, with its random but eclectic mix of stationary, greetings cards, books, magazines, music and videos. An odd combination that I'm sure were it ever to be pitched on Dragon's Den today would be laughed back into the entrepreneur's face with all the sour disgust the overly shouldered Cruella DeVille look-a-ike could manage (seriously if you're struggling for inspiration this Halloween then you'll find no concept more scary than going dressed as her). However odd a mix of things it may have seemed it worked. You knew that if you were going for a particular book, magazine or a good selection of birthday cards you'd find it. But with the pressure of the internet and supermarkets cashing in on those markets WHSmith decided to diversify, unfortunately no one seems to be quite sure into what it diversified. It seems to have turned itself into Woolworths except only stocking the rubbish tat you'd pass by on the way through Woolworths to get something more useful like some clothes pegs or a grill pan.

Nowadays in WHSmith you can pick up Adopt a Polar Bear Kits, enough chocolate to sink a battleship and Henry the Hoover wind-up toys but you'd be hard pushed to find that book or DVD you're looking for. In fact the DVD selection in their Oxford Street store looks like one you'd find in a service station on the M4. As in, containing five titles, three of which you already have and the other two are so awful that even if the only other thing in the world to watch QVC's Christmas in March Shopping Spectacular, you'd still find the DVD perfectly encased in it's shrink wrap on your shelf.

For those of you who haven't had the misfortune of visiting a branch of WHSmith recently here's a step by step guide of what to expect:

Firstly you'll turn up and the store will be closed. Like it or not opening hours have been lengthening in recent times, and whilst the rest of the High Street has embraced this as an opportunity to sell more goods at more convenient times, WHSmith has not. The branch right outside the busy Brixton Underground Station, perfectly poised to capitalise on the rush hour footfall is only open 9-5. This coupled with the staff's eagerness to pull the shutters to the store down and stop people entering 15 minutes before closing all but guarantees you won't get in (I mean seriously how long do they think it takes to browse the four books and one pen set and decide none of it's for you – no one could possibly spend 15 minutes in the store, discounting queuing time). Still count yourself lucky, at least the store's still there. In the time it took Paperchase to refurbish and reopen the old branch of WHSmith that closed down at Clapham Junction Station, the WHSmith website has not managed to remove it as "the nearest store to my current location", which is annoying if you made the trip specially.

Should you manage to miraculously arrive during the brief window of opportunity provided by 1970s opening hours, you'll find the shelves stuffed with things you've always known you've never wanted. With magazine racks cleared to make way for Pic N' Mix and the stationary section so small you can blink and accidentally walk through it, there's limited chance that you'll be bothered by the next point, and that is queuing at the till.

I reasonably regularly visit the Oxford Street store, as it's close to my place of work, and despite being located on the busiest shopping street in the country; there are only ever two members of staff on the till. So unchanging is this situation I can identify them on sight. It's always the exact same two people on the tills, except at busy times of course when one of them's on lunch. Consequently the queue snakes on and on through the store like the polling queue in the Syrian election, although of exceptionally less historic note:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers072.jpg)

Despite this there's always another member of staff pointlessly stacking the shelves or faffing with something else right next to you as you queue for seven hours, oblivious to your plight. Whilst in the massive queue pictured above in Brixton branch, rather than helping out the nearest member of staff was attending to this display:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers073.jpg)

I'd argue surely the more current matter at this time, given the 55 shopping days to Christmas, would be the queue, not the 3 for 2 wrapping paper stand. Though admittedly I should have picked some up, as by the time I left got to the head of the queue there were only two shopping days left until Christmas.

Should you survive the Herculean task of getting to the front of the queue, regardless of who you are and what you're buying, you will always be offered a bottle of mineral water, bag of mints, or a chocolate bar the size of a double duvet for just a pound. Yep it's equal opportunities in WHSmith you will be actively encouraged to become obese regardless of race, gender, sexuality or social standing. I should imagine if an armed gunmen held up one of their branches, as the cashier loaded the contents of the till into the bag of swag they would utter the immortal line "would you like a bar of Dairy Milk for just a pound" before proceeding to give the robber a receipt buried in amongst a thousand bloody money off vouchers. For the love of God stop giving these out, shocking as it may seem one visit to your store was enough, without thrusting a Yellow Pages thickness worth of money off vouchers encouraging me to return into my hand as I'm trying to leave the store. Stop doing this immediately. I suppose at least they're not for Boots No. 7 range. I mean seriously do I honestly look like the kind of person who would want to buy that.

In response to the horrendously long queues, WHSmith management have come up with two plans to try and address this problem. Firstly they've opened up branches of the Post Office within their stores, so that by comparison their own queues look short. If WHSmith are looking for ideas to make money, why not set up a mini one of your travel branches of WHSmith (like the kind you get at airports and railway stations) so that people intending to queue for the Post Office can purchase sweets, a book, bottle of water and a crossword magazine to get them through the long haul economy class only queuing system operated by the Royal Mail. The second plan is the introduction of self-scan tills, these are tills where you the shopper both purchase and weigh your shopping. Already popular on the High Street these tills are part of the ongoing campaign to outsource customer service, as should you want anyone to answer a question or be polite to you in a High Street store, you are now expected to ring head office. However these aren't popular with all customers, as a woman behind me in the queue who was brave enough to cause a fuss (rather than cowardly just grumbling about it under their breath, leaving the store vowing to never come back, only to return the next day and rant about in their blog) pointed out. When questioning a member of staff as to why they wouldn't open the till and she had to serve herself, they replied that "the tills were only to be opened in an emergency". An emergency, really? I suspect that at the moment the East Coast of the United States of America was battered by unseasonal snowstorms and several states declared a state of emergency, the next step was NOT the opening of WHSmith's tills. When pressed further on this point by the aforementioned customer, the staff member replied that self-scan tills were "the future". Which I thought showed a remarkable strength of character as the staff member explained his own inevitable redundancy to a complete stranger, particularly when the customer replied "I'll probably just shop somewhere else". Good for her for saying what I chickened out of.

Still I uncharacteristically looked on the positive side, and reasoned that the self-scan tills would be an opportunity to escape the bullshit of the usual "chocolate bar for a pound routine":

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers074.jpg)

At least I won't be saddled with a mass of money off vouchers:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers075.jpg)

OH THAT'S IT! Will this f**king s**t charade never end, I am never ever setting foot in WHShit again... [/i]

Of course tomorrow I'll probably have forgotten this entire rant and will bravely enter the store once more in a doomed attempt to do my Christmas shopping. I hope my family like four kilogram bars of Galaxy chocolate.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 02, 2011, 11:35:34 am
Awesome.  The only time I ever enter WH Smiths is when I'm in airports, they're the last bastion of crap magazines & sweets (and bottles of water free with newspapers...).  On the plus side the airport ones tend to actually cater to their original target audience of people wanting something to read to kill a couple of dull hours.

By the way do you take those pictures with your phone or carry your camera everywhere you go?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on November 02, 2011, 02:52:29 pm
Yep agreed, terrible stores now, doomed to go the same way as Woolies.
They dont have any staff, the stores are always in a hideous mess and they never have any stock.

I only used to brave them to get White Dwarf and now they dont even sell that...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on November 02, 2011, 04:59:31 pm
I wonder how many people in the queue were grumbling and giving Matt evil stares for standing there and taking pictures of the till rather than actually paying for goods speedily and moving on. Perhaps that is why the queues are so big as everyone is tweeting pics about it and rage quitting the store.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 02, 2011, 05:23:44 pm
Quote from: Crompton on November 02, 2011, 04:59:31 pm
I wonder how many people in the queue were grumbling and giving Matt evil stares for standing there and taking pictures of the till rather than actually paying for goods speedily and moving on. Perhaps that is why the queues are so big as everyone is tweeting pics about it and rage quitting the store.

Actually I was very subtle and took the pictures on my iPhone (other brands of smart phone are available) whilst making it appear to passersby that I was reading a text. Seriously I could work for MI5 I am that good, if Spooks ever comes back I'll be the next lead.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 12:00:15 am
Update 21 – Wednesday 9th November 2011: In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

Yep it's another update from the blog with more words on it than are tattooed on Frankie Cocozza's arse although at least it's 191% less twatish. Although much like Frankie I have been kicked out by Gary Barlow – who knew Take That Concerts had such good security?

Anyway unless you've been swanning around Australia for the last three weeks having a really good time, whilst us lot have been living in damp miserable Britain, you'll know that I have been painting a White Lion Chariot up for the campaign that started a few weeks ago.

I've now reached the annoying stage of all chariot painting... the assembly, yep once you painted all your separate bits and pieces it's time to assemble and mount your chariot on a base. A task even the most patient person will find about as trying, as going on a fortnight long holiday with Jedward. I always find it easier to paint and detail your base before attaching the chariot, as otherwise you're left with copious amounts of trying to sand, flock and paint under the chassis of your chariot. Never fun.

First up I assembled the basic chariot (i.e. all parts that will touch the base) holding everything in place with white-tac (before you accuse me of racism, I should point out black-tac is way to strong and will rip the base apart before coming lose, and blue-tac tends not to peel off surfaces as nicely as the white stuff):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers784.jpg)

Next paint a line around the area of the model touching the base, as these out of focus photos nearly clearly show:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers787.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers790.jpg)

Incidentally it's worth at this stage, noting on the bottom of the base which piece goes where, particularly in the case of steeds. As you can see here I've indicated which side is the lion with the open mouth and similarly which side has the closed mouth to make things easier in the end:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers793.jpg)

At the end you should have a base that looks like this, only less blurry – unless you've been on the Bacardi Breezers again:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers796.jpg)

Then decorate your base as normal, but leaving your marked areas clear:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers838.jpg)

After that it's assembly time, and here's my super top tip I learnt putting together this chariot, in fact it's so super a top tip I'm going to give it an exciting text format and box of it's own:



Matty's Top Tip
Always assemble painted sub-assemblies with super glue



Yeah even if you're assembling a plastic model, if you've painted your sub-assemblies use super glue. Plastic glue is designed to dissolve the top layer of plastic of both surfaces and bond them together. However if you've painted those surfaces, the glue will simply dissolve the paint and they won't stick well at all, plus any excess spilling out the join will take away the paint of other surfaces. Super glue I found worked much better in this case, and is a lot kinder on the paint work and stronger overall.

There you go, take note, or be disappointed.

With that trusty advice under my belt, here's the finished chariot:

Stage 4 – White Lions Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers935.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers936.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers945.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers955.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Light wash of Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Detail: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Detail: *NO CHANGE*

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Lion Skin: Highlight Kommando Khaki
Hair: (Vomit Brown) highlight Bubonic Brown OR (Dheneb Stone) highlight Skull White
Elf and Lion Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone

Lions

Rock: Drybrush Fortress Grey then Wash Badab Black
Grass: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Armour Trim: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Mouth: *NO CHANGE*
Teeth: Highlight Bleached Bone
Lion Body: Layer 1:1 Kommando Khaki : Skull White
Lion Fur: Layer Desert Yellow
Lion Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone

The banner was copied from the High Elf book, annoyingly it's not shown at 1:1 scale which makes copying it much harder.

And is it me or does one of the lions on the banner look good and the other look a bit evil?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers940.jpg)

Good Lion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers956.jpg)

Evil Lion

The same bizarrely happened when I painted the banner for my old White Lions unit (in a past High Elf army).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers959.jpg)

Good Lion on the left, with paint splodge on chin (must clean that up) and Bad Lion on the right.

Is it me? Hmmm. Moving on.

I know what you what you're thinking, "now Silvio Berlusconi has resigned will any of those hot Italian women be available for me?", I don't know. But you may also be thinking (though probably less likely), "how is Matt getting on in the Tale of Two OG's Campaign?" well dear reader it's time to tell you:

Santa and his Elves

Army Selection

After last week's (ok last fortnight's - I was busy) revealing of the army selection, the comments seem to have been all positive. Even Lee said "I expected to see you'd taken something s**t, but I couldn't find it in your list". Ha ha! It's true what they say with monkeys and typewriters, give me long enough and I will eventually stumble across a decent list.

Battle 1 – versus Tom's Vampire Counts

I went into this battle with the reassuring advice from my team captain of "sorry", it's fair to say expectations for my survival weren't that high. However it seemed that even Team Evil were ready to cheer me on in hope of victory. Not sure why that was? What can I say evil is unpredictable.

I decided to rush forward all my infantry units as fast as possible to get grips with the Undead, a tactic which seemed to surprise all onlookers and put Tom firmly on the backfoot – apparently they'd expected me to flap around with Eagles and the like, but no I'll show them. By turn 2 I was able to unleash a host of charges though sadly, my Swordmasters failed their admittedly long charge by 1". Had the succeeded they'd have smashed into a unit of Ghouls which they stood a good chance of mangling and overrunning into the Vampire Lord's unit. As it was Tom was able to react to these charges and the grind began with High Elves killing left right and centre, but never quite doing enough to destroy the units. The Phoenix Guard's ward save came into their own as they shrugged off wound after wound, that should have killed them. The same could not be said for Tom's Black Knights who stubbornly failed to roll anything higher than a 1 for their armour save allowing the Archers to take a decent number of them down.

In the end after both army's generals sucked themselves into the warp with miscasts (bye Santa), all my combat units were dead and only Tom's characters remained. Which points-wise converted into a 10-10 draw. I know, I'll say that again "a ten – ten draw" yes I got a ten-all draw. I know, you can't believe it, but it happened. It was an exciting battle actually, as at points I looked poised to snatch a win, but then at other times it started to look bleak.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers076.jpg)
The Phoenix Guard and Lothern Sea Guard get stuck into the Ghouls and Skeletons in a combat so large Carol Vorderman is required to work out the combat result.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers077.jpg)
The Dragon Princes march down the hill to join the battle, while a Black Knight actually faints at how well Matt did.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers078.jpg)
The battered Swordmasters prepare to throw themselves into combat once more, well it's that or be served up with some chips in a greasy café.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers079.jpg)
The Archers claim squatters rights in the tower and refuse to budge even to answer questions on Greek economic debt.

Battle 2 – Versus Gareth's Beastmen

Could lightning strike twice? Probably not. Sadly I was out deployed (forward slash stupid) as Gareth had so many throwaway units in his army I was forced to deploy all my key units before Gareth deployed any of his. So my Swordmasters ended up out on a flank (yes I should have put them in the centre I know).

This time I took a more cautious approach, moving forward on the flanks only, to encircle the enemy. For once both magic and missile worked, I knew this might happen one day, with bows and a barrage of magic spells doing heavy damage to the advancing Gor horde and some advancing Minotaurs.

This was the first time the brand new White Lion Chariot took to the field (in the battle against Tom it was played by an old Tiranoic Chariot) and on Turn 1 it was smashed to pieces by The Amber Spear – typical.

The Dragon Princes received a Tuskgor Chariot in the face, but ineptitude on both parts meant neither side ever managed to kill each other. Gareth's poor luck continued as his Minotaurs failed a crucial charge. The Gors redirected by an Eagle overran into the Phoenix Guard, but critically giving a chance for the Lothern Sea Guard to charge in and lend support. With the Gors already down to 50% of their starting strength they were beaten and run down by the combined units. And with the Lothern Sea Guard pursuing into the Minotaur unit and killing them it wasn't looking good for the Beastmen. Though they had successfully kept the Swordmasters at bay by feeding them units of Harpies.

In the end it was utter defeat for the Beasts, with me winning 20-0, I'll say that again "a twenty-nil win" yes I got a twenty-nil win. I know, you can't believe it, but it happened. In fairness poor Gareth had, had appalling luck and the result was probably far more down to that than any skill on my part. So Gareth decided to call it quits and head to the bar, who can blame him? Sadly his luck didn't improve when the barmaid rolled a misfire for her pint pulling dice roll and accidentally chucked a whole glass of Guiness over him! I may have made that up.

So two battles in and a good set of results from my High Elves, hopefully sanity will restore itself soon or the Universe may just collapse in on itself.

Up next time I'm facing Giles' Orcs & Goblins, will they crush Santa and his Elves? Only time will tell.

And finally with the White Lion Chariot done, it's time to unveil my new painting project. A project so exciting that I think I'm going to use some ridiculously large text again:

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 1


If your eyes managed to keep up with the scrolling text, you read 50 Spearmen in 50 Days (- Day 1). Why? I hear you cry. Well, my High Elf army is really short of core units, and to be honest the thought of a unit that can dish out 51 attacks in a round of combat filled me with excitement. Mooo Ha Ha Ha Mooo Ha Ha Ha. At 475 points for the unit, with a possible 25 point banner, it actually fits perfectly into a 2,000 point army as the entire core slot, so it's not as unfieldable as it may seem. Though the astute amongst you may have realised it does indeed break OG Comp. Well I laugh in the face of OG Comp Mooo Ha Ha Ha Mooo Ha Ha Ha – see? As the army that already fields special characters, what's wrong with a massive unit of Elves? Comp that!!

I am perfectly aware that painting 50 Spearmen, the largest unit I've ever done for any army, is an ambitious task, so I am hoping that 50 days seems reasonable for the job. It should be easy. I mean I've already gathered together all the models I need:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers842.jpg)

The leftovers from my High Elf Battalion here, and a couple of boxes of Spearmen thrown in for good measure. Time to get all the sprues out, and get snipping:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers845.jpg)

Oh dear... that's a lot of sprues. I feel a bit sick.

50 days you say. Really? Wouldn't a year be better?

By my reckoning 50 Days works out as a deadline on the 28th of December. Brilliant, because there's nothing going on at that time of year that's going to keep me busy.

Looks like there isn't going to be time for an official OG Gamers Advent Calendar this year then. Oh well.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on November 09, 2011, 09:25:36 am
QuoteYeah even if you're assembling a plastic model, if you've painted your sub-assemblies use super glue. Plastic glue is designed to dissolve the top layer of plastic of both surfaces and bond them together. However if you've painted those surfaces, the glue will simply dissolve the paint and they won't stick well at all, plus any excess spilling out the join will take away the paint of other surfaces. Super glue I found worked much better in this case, and is a lot kinder on the paint work and stronger overall.

You know, you could always scrape back the paint a little bit on both parts and then touch it up afterwards...

I personally have found that Superglue over paint is just frankly awful and breaks in a stiff breeze since the only bond is paint to paint and then when it breaks, you have to repair the paint work anyway, so you may as well do it right in the first place.

Anyway, since you've gone 10, and then 20 pts I expect you to find a way to get 30pts off Giles. No pressure or anything!  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 09, 2011, 11:52:57 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 12:00:15 am
Update 21 – Wednesday 9th November 2011: In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

If your eyes managed to keep up with the scrolling text, you read 50 Spearmen in 50 Days (- Day 1). Why? I hear you cry.

I am perfectly aware that painting 50 Spearmen, the largest unit I've ever done for any army, is an ambitious task, so I am hoping that 50 days seems reasonable for the job. It should be easy. I mean I've already gathered together all the models I need:

50 days you say. Really? Wouldn't a year be better?

By my reckoning 50 Days works out as a deadline on the 28th of December. Brilliant, because there's nothing going on at that time of year that's going to keep me busy.
50 days... what are you going to paint in the other 47 days?

1 day = assembly
2nd day = basecoat & dip
3rd day = matt varnish and highlight/glaze then finish the basing.

I don't see the issue!

Or do you really mean 50 calender days rather than 50 days of working on them in which case possibly a slightly more difficult task due to the lack of spare days available.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 02:07:56 pm
Quote from: Meals on November 09, 2011, 09:25:36 am
You know, you could always scrape back the paint a little bit on both parts and then touch it up afterwards...

I personally have found that Superglue over paint is just frankly awful and breaks in a stiff breeze since the only bond is paint to paint and then when it breaks, you have to repair the paint work anyway, so you may as well do it right in the first place.

Goodness the first Matty's Top Tip, or should that be...

Matty's Top Tip

...has already caused controversy. I see your point, but I have found the Superglue really strong in this case, the banner's a little wobbly - but then look at the tiny joint it's always going to be a bit wobbly!! I wouldn't usually paint the joins, but it's just bits where you don't know where the join is going to be until assembly - such as excatly where the crew will stand in the chariot.

Quote from: Dave on November 09, 2011, 11:52:57 am
50 days... what are you going to paint in the other 47 days?

1 day = assembly
2nd day = basecoat & dip
3rd day = matt varnish and highlight/glaze then finish the basing.

I don't see the issue!

Or do you really mean 50 calender days rather than 50 days of working on them in which case possibly a slightly more difficult task due to the lack of spare days available.

I mean 50 calendar days, and I'm planning my normal full four stage painting - none of this basecoat and dipping malarky (though I'm sure that would take me a long time!)!!!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on November 09, 2011, 07:41:29 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 12:00:15 am
Anyway unless you've been swanning around Australia for the last three weeks having a really good time, whilst us lot have been living in damp miserable Britain

It was five weeks I'm afraid Matt :-D

That White lion chariot banner really reminds me of Thundercats.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 09:49:59 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on November 09, 2011, 07:41:29 pm
It was five weeks I'm afraid Matt :-D

I was hoping at least two weeks had been awful so I didn't get too jealous.

Quote from: jackhoneysett on November 09, 2011, 07:41:29 pm
That White lion chariot banner really reminds me of Thundercats.

Maybe you should theme your Tomb Kings around Mumm-Ra and then we can have an epic battle?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on November 09, 2011, 10:03:27 pm
QuoteLooks like there isn't going to be time for an official OG Gamers Advent Calendar this year then. Oh well.

NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!  :cry:

:endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 10:18:16 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on November 09, 2011, 10:03:27 pm
NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!  :cry:

:endit:

I could always just shuffle up all last years entrants and put them behind an advent calednar, as opposed to making a new one up. Or are you expecting both?!!  /\0
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on November 09, 2011, 10:18:48 pm
New one please......
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2011, 10:20:06 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on November 09, 2011, 10:18:48 pm
New one please......

I was afraid you'd say that  :cry:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on November 09, 2011, 10:46:14 pm
yes new: new and shiny!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 10, 2011, 12:00:23 am
Quote from: sainthale1988 on November 09, 2011, 10:46:14 pm
yes new: new and shiny!

How would I make it shiny?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on November 10, 2011, 09:43:10 am
don't give me problems matt: just solutions!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 10, 2011, 10:07:23 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 10, 2011, 12:00:23 am
How would I make it shiny?

Have a vampire bite it and then stand it in sunlight...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on November 10, 2011, 10:59:58 am
Wouldn't that just make it shit rather than shiny?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 10, 2011, 11:18:00 am
Quote from: Crompton on November 10, 2011, 10:59:58 am
Wouldn't that just make it shit rather than shiny?
Yes, but I thought it was a good topic to get matt off on another rant.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 10, 2011, 04:43:04 pm
Quote from: Dave on November 10, 2011, 11:18:00 am
Yes, but I thought it was a good topic to get matt off on another rant.

Rant?! Me? Never!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on November 12, 2011, 09:56:52 am
69 chairs (for max 10 people!)  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 12, 2011, 01:09:27 pm
Quote from: Garzini on November 12, 2011, 09:56:52 am
69 chairs (for max 10 people!)  :thumbsup:

Sorry your entry is just a tiny bit too late, and you wouldn't have won.  /\0
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 18, 2011, 08:46:54 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 10, 2011, 12:00:23 am
How would I make it shiny?

A shiny varnish - or tinsel
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 19, 2011, 11:27:13 am
Quote from: roland murat on November 18, 2011, 08:46:54 pm
A shiny varnish - or tinsel

Right, I will bare that in mind. (Don't want much do you, you lot?)

By the way Roland please come and harrass me next time you're at club night, I have several packets of Angel Delight that belong to you (don't ask) and am bored of carrying them around like a sherbet crack whore. If you don't know who I am, I'm the guy who looks disturbingly like an old version of Tintin - apparently.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 21, 2011, 12:09:04 am
Update 22 – Monday 21st November 2011: Santa's Downfall

Goodness it's been a while since I last blogged, how has this happened? How have you coped? Sorry if you're rocking in the corner, shaking slowly with withdrawal symptoms I'll try not to leave you so long next time.

In Matt news, I'm strangely excited, I'm actually in a good mood (I know, hence why I've had nothing to write about). I don't know what it is, but I seem to be full of joy for Christmas – no really I am! I've started my shopping, wrapped some presents and even got some cards, who knows you may even get one – though I imagine that is exceptionally unlikely! Yes for some reason I can't wait to put up those decorations, start cooking the turkey and eating copious amounts of chocolate (oh... that's already been done). Games Workshop have even got out their Christmas stocking fillers, I don't know about you but I can't wait to get some translucent dice and a Paint Station Plus – apparently it can pause your painting while you go to the toilet and then you can replay it
later! Excellent.

First up I know you're itching to hear about the adventure of Santa and his Elves in the Tale of 2 OGs Winter Campaign thing-a-me, that or you've got some hideous infection in your pubic nether regions that's causing you to scratch. Maybe that's what Silvio Berlusconi should do know he's left office, put his face to a range of sexual transmitted disease disinfectants? Maybe, I shouldn't think out loud?

Santa and his Elves

Battle 3 – versus Giles' Orcs & Goblins

Santa and his Elves had been doing impressively well so far scoring an impressive (and entirely unexpected) 30 points out of 40 available points. Game 3 and I was to face Giles' Orcs & Goblins. Deployment was largely dominated by a half an hour phase in which Giles deployed war machines, two Doom Divers, two Rock Lobbas and about forty seven Spear Chukkas. Giles reassured me he was simply going to be handing me over victory points as they'd all misfire.

Giles won the roll for the first turn and all his artillery turned its attention to my fast moving troops, the Eagle was shot down by two Spear Chukkas, a single Doom Diver hit wiped out all the Dragon Princes, causing my Archers to panic and just avoid running off the board. And finally the White Lion Chariot took two wounds from another Spear. So far one Rock Lobba misfired, but would fire again in two turns. So one turn in, and anything fast enough to take out war machines or draw out Fanatics was gone. Great.

I advanced as quickly as I could to the main body of the Orcs with my infantry in a bid to get into combat and out of target choice for all those war machines. My Archers rallied, but my Level 2 Mage miscast and in return for a Flamestorm which widely scattered and only incinerated four Night Goblins was sucked into the Chaos Warp taking a load of Lothern Sea Guard with him.

The Squig Hoppers who I'd so far ignored, as I was concentrating on the artillery, charged the flank of the Lothern Sea Guard, outperforming them and breaking the unit. The few remaining Sea Guard escaped but due to a series of appalling leadership tests never rallied. Up next the big guns of the artillery opened fire blowing holes in my remaining units and finishing off the White Lion Chariot. No misfires yet.

The Swordmasters made a long charge into a large unit of Black Orcs eager to spill some green blood, unfortunately this triggered the release of multiple Fanatics. Rather obligingly most of the Fanatics hoped out only a few inches and the Swordmasters only took one hit. Once in combat the Swordmasters butchered loads of Black Orcs, but their numbers had been thinned sufficiently by artillery and the Black Orcs were able to destroy all that remained. The Archers and Bolt Throwers shot up an Orc Chariot – first victory points. While the Phoneix Guard got stuck into the Squig Hoppers.

The Orc & Goblin artillery turned their attention on the remaining Archers and Bolt Thrower – still no misfires!! The Phoneix Guard finally killed the Squig Hoppers, but a big unit of Orcs were heading their way. So they tried to hide behind a hill bravely and hold out for anything but a 20-0 defeat! However the laser guided Orc Artillery finally flattened the Bolt Thrower and Archers, a Doom Diver and a Rock Lobba both misfired but only missed a turn of shooting. Meanwhile the Orc Shaman Miscast 'Eadbut killing the Archmage who couldn't roll a single ward save, and the miscast simply killed a couple of Orcs. Finally the large unit of Orcs caught up with the Phoenix Guard but their depleted numbers meant the Orcs had no trouble killing them all. And that was it. every Elf dead.

Sadly two chariots and some Squig Hoppers was simply not enough to claw even a 19-1 defeat. No points for Santa on this occasion. I knew it was going too well.

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 13

Yes it's the most exciting thing since Pat Sharp entered the jungle, it's back to the 50 Spearmen in 50 Days project, like a mass Children in Need event without the excitement or benefits to society.

Worryingly this is Day 13 and I don't have much to show for my efforts. Last time you saw the billion sprues I had to cut out and assemble and there's been a lot of snipping and gluing as you can see:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers894.jpg)

The astute amongst you will have spotted that I have invested in one of Games Workshop's latest tools the Citadel Clean Up Kit consisting of a brush and a tooly thing, but not the kind you find on Tool Academy:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1135.jpg)

On that note it's time for the return of another favourite feature from last time!



Matty's Top Tip – Number 2
The Citadel Clean Up Kit is quite good



I'd like to point out before I'm buried in an avalanche of e-mails telling me otherwise, that this is "in my opinion". And I am only comparing it to using a set of files for cleaning up models. How it fares against a knife, I can't tell you, because given I can't use a clothes horse without inflicting life threatening injuries on myself I shouldn't really be trusted with a knife.

Here's my top, pointless guide, on how to use the new kit.

1) Find a mould line:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers849.jpg)

Here's one.

2) Scrape up and down the mould line with the scrapey part of the kit:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers860.jpg)

Rather tricky to photograph this, need an extra hand!

3) Your mould line is gone, but there's lots of debris left over:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers857.jpg)

4) Next take the brushy part of the kit and brush away the debris:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers882.jpg)

5) Hey presto your mould line is gone and the debris is brushed all over the carpet:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers889.jpg)

So there you go, a lot quicker and simpler than using files and you won't cut your hand open – although some of the short pieces (like the base of the spears) are too small to use the tool on, so keep that file handy. Admittedly you don't need the brush, an old toothbrush will do, but it came with the tooly thing, and I never get around to using a toothbrush I usually just leave the debris on the model!!

With this process repeated about a thousand billion million trillion times all my parts were assembled.

Some liberal sanding of bases (that is attaching sand, not actually sanding down), and a good blast with the Chaos Black spray can, and here's the 50 Spearmen all assembled:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers909.jpg)

And all their shields:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers917.jpg)

Each rank has the spear at a slightly different angle, with the bank ranks being held vertically and the front ranks horizontally poised ready to take this charge. As this picture, in homage to those Theory of Evolution diagrams showing a monkey turning into human through Neanderthal stages, shows:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers925.jpg)

Whilst I wasn't too worried about exact positions for each model in the unit, as that can make ranking up take about a week, I thought it would be helpful to make a note of which Spearmen go in which rank for ease of unit assembly (don't want to spend hours gauging the angle of a spear), Plus this would be helping for placing the models in batches for painting. So each rank was lettered from A to E and labelled on it's base:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers921.jpg)

And so that is where we are, 26% of the way through the project and not a drop of 'proper' paint placed on a single Spearmen. Well as I was desperate to splash a little bit of Elven colour around, and I was bored just gluing together Spearmen, I did make a start on another special character for my army (I do like a special character, almost enough to put them in an advent calendar – hint, hint, nudge, nudge, wink, wink). So here's my start on Korhil, he's not the Finecast version I'm afraid, as I've had his metal companion kicking around for years. For those of you interested in such things, he's been stuck to a resin base from the Warhammer Basing Kit.

Stage 1 – Korhil, Captain of the White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers586.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers588.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers591.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Rock: Chardonite Granite
Skull: Khemri Brown
Boots, Gloves and Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Wood: Khemri Brown
Lion Skin: Dheneb Stone
Hair: 1:2 Iyanden Darksun : Dheneb Stone
Elf and Lion Flesh: Dwarf Flesh

Right, suppose I best get back to the Spearmen... see you soon!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 25, 2011, 10:43:57 am
Update 23 – Friday 25th November 2011: The War on Socks

Well after this week's early post, I personally can't believe that this joke didn't get a bigger response...

Quote from: cunningmatt on November 21, 2011, 12:09:04 am
...and a Paint Station Plus – apparently it can pause your painting while you go to the toilet and then you can replay it later! Excellent.

...I mean come on that's comedy gold!! No? Philistines.

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 17

Good news is I've applied some colour to the Spearmen:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers929.jpg)

And that's it...

Oh well. Instead here's a rant about something to tide you over until I do some more painting.

I've never liked socks, all my life I've been locked in a constant struggle with survival, a war that can never be won against the sock-kind. Over the years the nature of sock-warfare has evolved and changed as new technologies have been developed and new frontiers have opened up, but at all times I've been engaged in a War with Socks. I just don't like wearing them. I can just about tolerate wearing them at work or out shopping, whilst wearing shoes. But as anyone who's ever lived me will be able to tell you, as soon as my shoes come off my socks are whipped off faster than the average I'm A Celebrity... contestant whips off their dignity.

I just can't see the point, you wouldn't wear gloves indoors, so why socks? Admittedly you're lumbered with the unpleasant side effect as you travel around the house and your feet pick up all kind of debris that collects on the carpet like dust, pepper seeds, bits of tissue and the odd homeless person. It's like my feet are like some kind of super kitchen roll dredging the carpet, but surely this is a small price to pay for the freedom of toe-based flexibility (they're not battery hens after all). If it's cold I put on a pair of slippers, ok they're less sexy than a Midsomer Murders DVD Box Set but if comfort, warmth, rights for toes and victory over socks are what you're after they're the way forward. Though you will have to get machine washable ones as a few weeks of sockless slipper wearing and they end up smelling like nuclear Armageddon in a Babybel factory.

Socks are intrinsically evil. Not convinced, well consider is the seam that joins the toe of the sock to the main body. Is it just me or is there something inherently annoying about the fact this seam is in exactly the same point as where toe-nail and toe join? And I find this very uncomfortable, admittedly not in every pair of socks, but if I buy a pack of seven pairs for some reason at least one pair will have a particularly annoying seem making them unwearable. Why does this happen randomly? Are these faulty? Can they be sold in special cheap packs like broken biscuits? Who knows? Either way I don't want them. And itchy seems are just one of the weapons socks use. As it is you can't even trust socks, their numbers are constantly changing, you put an even number of socks in the wash, and an odd number come out. What's happened? Has a sock gone undercover in the T-shirt drawer to spy on your every move and report to sock command? Or have the socks been breeding, increasing their foul numbers to take over the world?

At this point you may be thinking that I'm a child, and I should just shut up and wear socks as things will never get better. Well you'd be wrong. In recent years a great victory in my battle with sock-kind was secured, I finally broke through enemy lines with only the deaths of 25,000 innocent civilians.  This first big break through came in the discovery of coloured-toe socks. You know the kind, that all the big department stores sell in large multi-packs?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1138.jpg)

Up to now the biggest bane of my domestic chore life (other than the daily trip to the bottle bank to deal with my drinking habit) was the pairing up of plain black and navy socks. Over time the various pairs bought across a number of years had all slightly faded by differing amounts. This turned the task of the correct pairing up of them whilst removing from the clothes dryer' into a Krypton Factor-esque challenge, but without the excitement of Gordon Burns or an obstacle to course to finish with. Coloured toe socks have changed all this, they can be paired up quicker than E-list celebrities in the Big Brother compound. And when out and about wearing a shoe, (typically two) no one need know about your eccentric behaviour of wearing mad coloured socks with crazy coloured toes, unless you're wearing sandals that is. This victory alone has saved about half an hour off my weekly chores.

However, while I may have won the battle, I certainly haven't won the war, for with new socks came new problems. Now I do realise by even opening up this can of worms, I sound older than Peter Stringfellow's hair cut, but is it me or has the quality of socks got worse? Either that or my feet are slowly turning into talons and I've not realised. Rarely a week goes by when I haven't manage to shred the toe of one of my socks on my barbed, cheese-grater like feet. I'd be happy, it's the destruction of socks, but sadly I need socks – society forces me into a symbiotic relationship with them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1141.jpg)

Thank god I never shed a bed with another human or, judging by the state of my socks, my toes would slice their feet off like a scythe ploughing through wheat. Which on the plus side would mean if I did ever convince someone to get in bed with me, they'd find it hard to run away.

All this has lead to a new frontline with the socks, I need new socks, I'm losing them faster than Adrian Childs is losing jobs. Obviously I could get more socks. But through reasons more tedious than Louis Walsh, I've been gifted an unwanted set of socks with the days of the week embroidered on them:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1143.jpg)

We all know the type, quirky socks with the days of the week printed on them, that want to be quirky and friendly when really they're evil. On the one hand these sound perfect, they are easy to pair up and no one need know I am wearing anything other than plain black socks. But am I ready to accept that my life has reached the point where it's tragic enough to have the day printed on your sock? It seems a ridiculous level of organisation, even for my anal standards, to have my socks already designated to a specific day. What does that say about individuality, surely it means the socks are controlling me – they've won? I mean I could wear the socks on the wrong day, to spite them, but introducing an additional level of complexity to my already worrisome existence doesn't seem healthy. Also if I was going to have a calendar based system printed on my footwear, days of the week aren't that helpful, (except on holiday and at Christmas – where socks have no chance of being worn) I generally know what day of the week it is. The date would be more useful, and let's face it a pack of 31 socks is likely to fit better with the average lazy person washing schedule that a pack of 7. Though that would mean letting 62 socks in my house, that sounds dangerous.

As it stands, with my social life being about as exciting as a meeting of the Keith Chegwin fan club, I never leave the house at the weekend. Thus if I take up the offer of these free socks the Saturday and Sunday pairs will stay shop fresh whereas Monday to Friday will be ripped apart like the body of a small child fed to a pack of hungry wolves. And what if Wednesday's socks have the dodgy seam, and are unwearable? What am I supposed to do? Introduce a midweek barefoot office day? I don't think it will catch on. Oh the dilemmas! Will there ever be simplicity in my life.

As you can see The War on Socks is never won, there are always new battles to be fought. Constant vigilance is required, I'll see you on the front line.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on November 25, 2011, 11:01:33 am
Matt, you could be adventurous and wear Friday socks on Monday. Think of the massconfusion you will create in the ranks of the evil sock army... Its more brilliant than Sun Tsu...


Alternatively, if it really is this bad, it sounds like you need to move to Australia. Then you can wear thongs to your hearts content, with never a sock in sight. Wait... that is what they're called up here isn't it?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 27, 2011, 10:57:00 pm
Quote from: Meals on November 25, 2011, 11:01:33 am
Matt, you could be adventurous and wear Friday socks on Monday. Think of the massconfusion you will create in the ranks of the evil sock army... Its more brilliant than Sun Tsu...

I am worried that will make me "quirky" which sounds like a bad dating profile statement!

Quote from: Meals on November 25, 2011, 11:01:33 amAlternatively, if it really is this bad, it sounds like you need to move to Australia. Then you can wear thongs to your hearts content, with never a sock in sight. Wait... that is what they're called up here isn't it?

I already do! Errr.... I mean.... Oops!  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Cyberactivity on November 29, 2011, 07:11:06 am
Was reading this when the wife was about and she decided that she wanted to see what I was laughing at.

She approved of the War on Socks rant. Well done!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 29, 2011, 09:57:44 am
M&S 'the best sock in the world' has been my place of sock related solace over the last year, their seams lack the killer instinct of your average common drawer sock and they have a slightly thicker material that I've yet to puncture.

On the subject of seams have you tried wearing your socks inside out?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 10:22:12 am
Quote from: Cyberactivity on November 29, 2011, 07:11:06 am
Was reading this when the wife was about and she decided that she wanted to see what I was laughing at.

She approved of the War on Socks rant. Well done!

Awww very kind of you to say, glad yourself and wife approve. My blogs do seem to go down well with wifes perhaps I would do well with a nice afternoon slot on Radio 2?

Quote from: Dave on November 29, 2011, 09:57:44 am
M&S 'the best sock in the world' has been my place of sock related solace over the last year, their seams lack the killer instinct of your average common drawer sock and they have a slightly thicker material that I've yet to puncture.

A couple of years ago I would have agreed with you, but turning into my mother "These socks are not what they used to be" - all the above socks are Marks & Spencer's creations.

Quote from: Dave on November 29, 2011, 09:57:44 am
On the subject of seams have you tried wearing your socks inside out?

What an excellent idea! I shall attempt this straight away and report back with my progress. You can't wait can you?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on November 29, 2011, 10:28:52 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 10:22:12 am
What an excellent idea! I shall attempt this straight away and report back with my progress. You can't wait can you?
5 mins and still waiting for this report Matt. You cannot keep me in this kind of suspense!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 10:34:27 am
Quote from: Crompton on November 29, 2011, 10:28:52 am
5 mins and still waiting for this report Matt. You cannot keep me in this kind of suspense!

This has got to be a proper scientific test, I need time to collate results otherwise I'll never get a job with What Sock magazine.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on November 29, 2011, 10:55:04 am
From my own personal experience, any good scientific investigation also involves lots of tea making and faffing around on forums first.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 11:10:22 am
Quote from: jackhoneysett on November 29, 2011, 10:55:04 am
From my own personal experience, any good scientific investigation also involves lots of tea making and faffing around on forums first.

I'm still in that face, I give it a week and a half!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 11:22:16 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 29, 2011, 11:10:22 am
I'm still in that face, I give it a week and a half!

I clearly meant "phase" not "face" - what the hell is wrong with my brain this morning? Let's cancel the tea and go for coffee!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 30, 2011, 08:06:02 am
Update 24 – Wednesday 30th November 2011: Bloody Games Workshop!

"The best laid plans of mice and men are doomed to failure" someone maybe once said, I can't remember the quote, but I just said it so I'm sure that counts.

Everything painting-wise was going so nicely this year, I was on course to finish my High Elf army by the end of December, there had been no new armies (or updates to existing armies) to steer me off this course and my painted to bought ratio was really strong. But of course it all turned out to be too good to be true...

Yes that's right you can always count on the exact moment when you think you've got your model collection under control for Games Workshop to go and release another set of amazing models that you must have – god dam them, and the Finecast crack supply, I've become a user!! In fairness they can't win, if they hadn't released any models for me this year I'd have been annoyed too, but that's how it roles effectively I am married to Games Workshop and they'll have to put up with the moaning!!

December's White Dwarf bounded through the door at the end of last week, thankfully  Games Workshop seem to have sorted the problem of subscribers getting their copy a month after release!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1359.jpg)

And it was full of tempting goodies, personally I'd given up hope on any more Beastmen releases and so there would be no temptation to head back to my Beastmen army. But oh no, out pops the amazing Ghorgon/Cygor kit which clearly I will need two off, one for each monster:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1362.jpg)

Then there's the Jabberslythe – which admittedly is a bit less tempting as I've made my own this year, but still:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1364.jpg)

Such comments of course give me the perfect chance to show off my own Jabberslythe creation again for no real reason, like a proud mother sticking an awful drawing done by her kid on the fridge door:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3346.jpg)


And the releases don't even stop there, what with the Citadel Finecast Doombull. My earlier vow to never buy any more metal models again, meant I couldn't buy any more Beastmen characters – now I can. And as was pointed out a few weeks ago, how can I have 5,500 points of painted Beastmen and not a single Doombull?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1367.jpg)

Then of course I could this as an opportunity to add another unit of Minotaurs, and assemble that bloody Razagor chariot. Annoying as all these Beastmen release are, you'd think they could release another special character or two wouldn't you?!

But then what else do I spy in this month's edition, only a painting guide for the new Skullvane Manse kit – ooooo it looks so easy to paint, and would look amazing on my tabletop. Maybe I should get that too?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1373.jpg)

Of course I could wait, there's no rush to get the new Beastmen models or Skullvane Manse, but I know there is. I want them, I want them now, I want them more than Gary Glitter wants to disguise his bedroom as a branch of Mothercare. But in theory I could wait...

That of course only applies when you don't see this symbol...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1391.jpg)

Yes Games Workshop have caught onto the fact that us geeky collectors will bend over backwards to get our hands on a limited edition collectors' anything, I'm sure if they made some Orc & Goblin themed dust particles we'd rush out and buy them. Although my faith in sanity was somewhat restored by the fact that no one rushed to bid on this item:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WARHAMMER-OOP-1980s-1990s-CITADEL-EMPTY-PACKETS-x-9-/250940372081?_trksid=p4340.m503&_trkparms=algo%3DRIC.CF%26its%3DI%26itu%3DUA%26otn%3D10%26pmod%3D270852048718%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D4488320554401675414 (http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WARHAMMER-OOP-1980s-1990s-CITADEL-EMPTY-PACKETS-x-9-/250940372081?_trksid=p4340.m503&_trkparms=algo%3DRIC.CF%26its%3DI%26itu%3DUA%26otn%3D10%26pmod%3D270852048718%26ps%3D63%26clkid%3D4488320554401675414)

Nice try seller, but if even I, avid waster of cash, thinks you're just trying to flog rubbish then it ain't flying! However Games Workshop have been a little more targeted with their efforts.

First up with the dreaded hourglass symbol is the Blood in the Badlands book, an opportunity to copy a campaign, and get new rules for underground and siege battles. That sounds like a must. And £20 won't break the bank, primarily because like all European banks, my bank is already well and truly bust. Plus the good thing about a new rule book is it doesn't count towards my painting mountain, it can't be painted so that basically means it doesn't add to my painted-bought ratio and therefore logically doesn't cost any money doesn't it?!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1369.jpg)

Sadly that's not the only thing with the hourglass this month that has peaked my interest:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1370.jpg)

Yes a special High Elf army box set, it IS a lot of money at £130. But I worked out that the contents (Lord on Dragon, 32 Spearmen, 20 Archers, 20 White Lions, 10 Dragon Princes & Chariot) would cost £200.50 if bought separately (maths nerds should note I worked out the Archers as a part set) – that's a massive saving of £70.50!! (Incidentally the similar Skaven kit actually offers a £72 discount, but I'm not planning to start a Skaven army? Or am I? That would be a good discount!)

Back to the High Elves, don't get distracted by Skaven, a £70.50 discount is not to be sniffed at, and I was planning to get a Dragon, 20 White Lions and 5 more Dragon Princes soonish anyway that would cost me £100.50 on it's own so for another £29.50 I can have loads of extra bits – makes sense doesn't it? Or am I trying to talk myself into it? Ohhh it's doomed to go wrong!!

This wouldn't be the first time that I've fallen for the old hour glass trick, yep I rushed out and bought Dreadfleet...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1380.jpg)

...someone had to.

Poor old Dreadfleet, the free supplement in this month's White Dwarf is a virtual admission that they can't sell all the copies they made – please, please, please buy one we're begging you!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1378.jpg)


Despite the fact that you HAD to rush out and get it back in October it stubbornly refuses to sell out, now being listed as a stocking filler with the sign "Last Chance to Buy" proudly emblazoned next to it – though you suspect it will still be there in March 2014. In fact no other Limited Edition item has ever stayed on the shelves this long, oh no wait a minute that's not true:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1392.jpg)

Anyone for a deck of the Lore of Wild – there still here, please buy one. In fact the Beastmen Magic Deck has been limited edition for such a long time that the limited edition sign hasn't even been around that long. No trendy hour glass here!

It's a real shame about Dreadfleet having read the rules the game looks pretty good fun and the models are excellent, and this experience seems only likely to put off Games Workshop from releasing any more stand alone games.

Obviously I haven't ever played my copy and the models haven't even left the box, but there you go!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1385.jpg)

So there you go that is why I both hate and love Games Workshop at the same time like a confused Marmite enthusiast.

Good news is that despite all these distractions, at least my painting has remained focused...

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 22

As we near the halfway stage you can see that I have finished Stage 1... of 4 sadly – oh dear:

For those of you bonkers enough to copy me, here's a guide to what I have done:

Stage 1 – High Elf Spearmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1149.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1147.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1152.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Boots: Scorched Brown
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Armour Trim and Plume: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Wood: Khemri Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh

Oh and just as excitingly, I've fully finished the reverse of the 50 shields:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1159.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1164.jpg)

This was simply a basecoat of Khemri Brown, the raised areas were then painted Graveyard Earth and then I finished with a heavy drybrush of Bleached Bone. Not bad I think, particularly as they won't be seen that much.

So 28 Days left to do the front of the shields and the remaining three stages, how could I fail?!

Before I get back to the painting, a couple of bits of business:

You may have noticed yesterday that this blog kicked off with a full sock-based discussion. Thanks Dave for your suggestion on wearing socks with annoying seams inside out, works a treat:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1388.jpg)

Yes that is my hairy leg, calm yourselves!

And make sure you come back to this very blog tomorrow, because there's something very special coming soon (veteran readers will almost certainly have guessed this already, if not think about today, it's the last day of November what does that mean for tomorrow?)

See you tomorrow, you won't want to miss out!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 01, 2011, 07:44:37 am
Thursday 1st December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

You said you wanted a new advent calendar and you said it had to be:

Quote from: sainthale1988 on November 09, 2011, 10:46:14 pm
yes new: new and shiny!

And I should make it shiny like this:

Quote from: roland murat on November 18, 2011, 08:46:54 pm
A shiny varnish - or tinsel

Well hopefully the above banner has done the trick?!

That's right back by popular demand, despite my best efforts to not have to do it, it's the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Now I know everyone hates special characters but once again I will try to change your mind as every day until Christmas you get to pop open a door press back the foil and see what special character I've remembered today.

Veteran readers may remember last year's Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar, which you can have the thrill of reliving, or if you're a new reader just living, right here. Either way each day has been shuffled (so you won't know the order) and given a 2011 update:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.new#new (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.new#new)

However for those of you craving new content here's the Procrastination by Numbers 2011 Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar, we've slightly expanded on last year's rules in that it now includes any Special Character, who once had special rules, who is not in any current Warhammer supplements OR alternatively special characters in current Warhammer supplements who don't have model. I'd argue in both cases these qualify as Forgotten Special Characters – besides we need to expand the rules or we'd run out and otherwise a large number of armies would be excluded. Don't worry there will be still be plenty of nostalgic models for you to reminisce over.

But I do need your help, last year I was able to include a large number of pictures of my own models to represent the Special Characters, however I used pretty much all the characters I owned back in 2011. So if a character pops up which you have a model for, painted or otherwise, take a photo and PM me a link and it'll get added into the appropriate entry – you'd be famous!!

Without further ado here is Door Number 1, remember, as last year, click on the spoiler to open the door. Enjoy!:

[spoiler]
December 1st: Skaw the Falconer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1120.jpg)

Name: Skaw the Falconer

Original Points Cost: 91 points (including falcons and Flail of Claws.)

Background: Skaw the Falconer lives at the top of an old pine tree, painful, but at least festive. He shuns other Elves instead talking to birds of pray (loser), but commands them to attack his foes like living arrows. And allows players to make lots of "caw, caw" noises while using him.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves - 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 207 (March 1997).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1061.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1115.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1123.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves - 4th Edition

Special Rules: Skaw may be a champion for Warriors or Scouts units, or an independent character. Skaw has three falcons that can be used in either the shooting phase or combat phase, to shoot they roll against Skaw's Ballistic Skill, range 24" each hit causes a Strength 3 hit. Falcons ignore penalties for cover and skirmishers and can pick out individual characters who cannot make a Look Out Sir Roll. The Falcons can stand and shoot. In combat they fight using Skaw's Weapon Skill. Skaw has a 5+ save for his cloak of feathers. Skaw is armed with the Flail of Claws (which does not benefit from the usual Flail rules), the Flail always strikes first, characters are not wounded but simply lose 1 Attack for the rest of that close combat phase.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1129.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1125.jpg)


My Memories of the Character: I remember Skaw popping up in the White Dwarf release schedule as I was getting all excited about Bretonnians and the 5th edition Warhammer being out. Though not knowing any Wood Elf collectors didn't give him much of a reason to stick in my memory. Except of course for the stripy trousers, something no longer seen in the Warhammer world and I think it's a poorer world for it.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Bill Oddie combined with Raven from the popular CBBC series, of the same name. Look it up now, it's amazing!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Skaw's Falcons I think convert pretty well to the 8th edition without any changes. And he could be made a unit upgrade for the Warriors or Scouts units as opposed to being a separate listed character. The Flail of Claws would need a rework because it's essentially rubbish. Maybe it would work as a bonus attack in addition to his normal attacks, or do we think the falcons are enough? Much to debate. I'm sure you won't.

[/spoiler]

Not enough for you? Check out the classic 2010 Advent Calendar goodness right here – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.new#new (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.new#new)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 01, 2011, 01:35:47 pm
I like how it lists his flail seperately, does that mean you could choose not to take an item which actually makes him worse?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 01, 2011, 01:49:36 pm
If I'm right, back then all magic item costs for special characters were listed seperately. (So you could take them on other characters in campaigns I guess)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 01, 2011, 02:40:34 pm
All special characters back in 4th were listed with magic items separately - I've done a lot of reseach recently!! But it was always must be fielded as presented with magic items. Somewhere in the dim distant recess of my memory there was some kind of special/rule/ability that affected magic items based on their points cost - which would explain why they were listed separately. Ring a bell to anyone?

I am also very excited that I've made a 1,000 posts on the forum, sadly by posting this excitement I have now made 1,001 posts which ruins it somewhat!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 02, 2011, 07:54:55 am
Friday 2nd December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

There's another brand new Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Character for you here. Sorry if I seem a little distracted, I'm desperately trying to avoid making a joke about striking public sector workers – mustn't they have no sense of humour, mustn't...

[spoiler]
December 2nd: Lotl Botl

Name: Lotl Botl

Original Points Cost: 100 points.

Background: Lotl Botl is the Lizardmen for "Very Hard" (really it is, I haven't even made that up!). He is a great Saurus and acts as chief bouncer for the Mage-Priests of Xlanhuapec (notably for it's high scoring value in Lizardmen Scrabble). His main duties include checking the Skink's ID is valid, not letting anyone bring in their own blow pipes, stopping people getting up to the Slann's DJ booth and keeping the Kroxigor from fighting at the bar.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 5th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1225.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 5th Edition. Another victim of the great cull of special characters in the 6th edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1226.jpg)

Special Rules: Lotl Botl is Cold Blooded, with a 3+ armour save (never modified to worse than 6+). Lotl Botl causes Fear. Any unit of Saurus Warriors accompanied by Lotl Botl gain +1 combat resolution.

My Memories of the Character: None sadly, I don't believe there was ever a model (bracing myself for a torrent of abusive correcting e-mails). And never having the book I never found him, though he has got one of the Lizardmen comedy names!

Person most Reminds Me Of: Simon Cowell's bodyguard on The X Factor.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Any Saurus hero could pretty much fit the bill for this character, he hardly has any real distinguishing features, I've chosen this one:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1305.jpg)

The Cold Blooded rule has barely changed and the Scaly Skin rule replaces the armour save. The other special rules are hardly game breaking so I'd leave them unchanged.

[/spoiler]

There's more Advent Calendar gooey goodness over here, get clicking: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37204;topicseen#msg37204 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37204;topicseen#msg37204)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 02, 2011, 03:41:03 pm
I loved Skaw, along with all the animal handlers, heres hoping they come back in the new book (when ever that comes out)...

Love the advent calendar so far, keep up the good work..

PS: We can get the army deals if you want an extra 10% off :cool3:

Oh and the big building as well, just got one for the club today, hope its more fun to build than the big tower...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 02, 2011, 04:15:55 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on December 02, 2011, 03:41:03 pm
Love the advent calendar so far, keep up the good work..

Cheers!!

Quote from: fatolaf on December 02, 2011, 03:41:03 pm
PS: We can get the army deals if you want an extra 10% off :cool3:

Oh and the big building as well, just got one for the club today, hope its more fun to build than the big tower...

Oh no temptation is getting worse now?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 03, 2011, 10:06:06 am
Saturday 3rd December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Today's primary task is not being tempted to buy the High Elf Mega Army/Force. Come on Matty have strength. Here's your next door...

[spoiler]
December 3rd: Count Mordrek the Damned

Name: Count Mordrek the Damned

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1188.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1182.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 424 points (4th edition), including Sword of Change, Chaos Armour and Living Damnation. 398 points (5th edition), including Sword of Change, Chaos Runeshield and Living Damnation.

Background: Count Mordrek the Damned is a loner, wondering the Chaos Wastes alone and unloved, with his horse (we have no idea what the horse did to deserve such a fate). Abandoned by the Gods of Chaos he had no mark for any God (at a time before it was cool, and anyone could be unmarked). He is fated to suffer eternal life and constant change, mutating constantly into despicable forms like a Little Chef dinner.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Chaos – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1177.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1178.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1192.jpg)

Special Rules: 4th Edition – Mordrek may not be your general or join any unit. Living Damnation at the start of each turn Mordrek is dealt a Chaos Gift from the deck (discarding Eternal Labour, Eye of the God or Chaos Spawn). He holds up to three gifts at anyone time discarding any excess.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1186.jpg)

5th Edition – Mordrek may not be your general or join any unit, and comes from the Allies allowance, he takes no retinue. The Sword of Change if the bearer inflicts one or more wounds on an enemy, but does not kill him, roll a D6 adding the number of wounds inflicted (excluding the first wound), on a 5+ the model is turned to a Chaos Spawn and placed anywhere within 12" of Mordrek moving as usual during the Chaos player's turn. Chaos Runeshield offers a 6+ Save combining with Chaos Armour, any enemy in base-to-base contact may not use a Magic Weapon. Living Damnation Count Mordrek has the following random stats, rolled at the beginning of the game: WS D6+4; S D3+3; T D3+3; A D6+1 at the beginning of each Chaos turn he must reroll one of these stats.

My Memories of the Character: The character I could never use. As an avid collector of Chaos all the other four special characters in the 4th edition Chaos book I owned and regularly fielded. I waited and waited for a model for Mordrek but, much like the Chaos Gods, the Games Workshop designers abandoned him.

Person most Reminds Me Of: John Leslie, abandoned by all after an early misdemeanour he wonders telly land unloved and alone with no home.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Any Chaos Hero on a horse would do to be the model of Mordrek, you could give him the basic profile of a Chaos Lord. In fact there aren't any unmarked Chaos Heroes on horseback, so I'd mount the Lord from the Lord on Manticore set and a Chaos Steed from the Chaos Knight set, oh and maybe some Spawn bits for mutations?:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1302.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1303.jpg)

To be honest his special rules and the Living Damnation reward don't seem horrendous (charging the 15 points the reward was worth in the 5th edition book). The Sword of Change and Chaos Runeshield exist in a similar fashion in the current book, so if you're willing to overlook the fact they breach the 100 point cap on magic items he could still take these.

[/spoiler]

Not the character for you? Head over to last year's classic Advent Calendar for another one , click here – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37266;topicseen#msg37266 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37266;topicseen#msg37266)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 04, 2011, 08:39:16 am
Sunday 4th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Still thinking about the High Elf Mega Army/Force...

[spoiler]
December 4th: Mydas the Mean

Name: Mydas the Mean

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1215.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 210 points including Sheikh Yadosh, pay chest, five body guards and the magic item Treasure Map.

Background: Mydas's first job was guarding the treasure of the Dwarf Priate Gridi Scumbeard, however when Gridi met his end with his Somali band, Mydas kept the gold. Since then Mydas has kept the money more tightly guarded than a Conservative politician surrounded by benefits claimants never once handing his gold over to attacking or armies (or even his own army)!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition. Model released in White Dwarf 226 (October 1998).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1201.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1210.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1217.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1207.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1209.jpg)

Special Rules: Mydas the Mean is accompanied by five bodyguards, additional bodyguards (up a total of 20) may be purchased at 12 points each (double for musician and standard). Shiekh Yadosh gets a 5+ Armour Save. Mydas must be the army's Paymaster. The Treasure Map – roll a dice at the beginning of the game to see which bonus is conferred: 1-2 – all bodyguards are at +1 to hit, 3-4 – all mercenary units may re-roll break test within 18" rather than 12", 5-6 – all mercenary units gain +1 to combat results.

My Memories of the Character: A Dogs of War character I actually remember, didn't really understand Dogs of War but I distinctly remember fat man with chest – unless of course I'm thinking of one of Russell Grant's Strictly dances?!

Person most Reminds Me Of: Russell Grant – see above.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: No you can't sorry, it is banned.

[/spoiler]

There's another classic character and an unfavourable comparison with Lady Gaga over on the The Official OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar click here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37287;topicseen#msg37287 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37287;topicseen#msg37287)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 04, 2011, 10:02:35 am
The last appearance of mydas was the 6th ed Do1 update in white dwarf

:)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 04, 2011, 11:49:24 am
Quote from: maelzch on December 04, 2011, 10:02:35 am
The last appearance of mydas was the 6th ed Do1 update in white dwarf

:)

I did find a 6th edition update for Dogs of War in the White Dwarf, just after 6th edition release but it didn't mention any special characters. Was there a further update?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 04, 2011, 12:37:37 pm
I'm fairly sure there was a 6th update for the characters, got me doubting it now though
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: anavorn on December 04, 2011, 01:23:24 pm
The 6th edition Dogs of War army list from the Annual 2002 doesn't include him, Asarnil the Dragonlord is the only special character listed.

Pretty sure there was an update, maybe a spearate article with all the special characters?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 05, 2011, 07:38:55 am
Monday 5th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Will today's entry lead to the controversy of yesterday's, let's hope not we all have lives to lead!!

[spoiler]
Monday 5th: Valten, Exalted of Sigmar

Name: Valten, Exalted of Sigmar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1169.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 560 points, including Ghal Maraz – Hammer of Sigmar and the Armour of the Heldenhammer.

Background: Luthor Huss prophet of Sigmar discovered Valten, a blacksmith's son, at the Manchester Auditions for The Empire's Got Talent during the time of the Storm of Chaos. The Empire entered chaotic times as Karl Franz called a referendum on whether to leave the single currency and except Valten as it's leader. Eventually Valten fought alongside Karl Franz as chosen warrior of Sigmar. Presented with gift of Gold, Frankensense, and Elven Steed and Dwarfen Army he lead the forces of The Empire to battle in the Storm of Chaos. He also stole his armour from the ship in Dreadfleet – naughty.

Original Appearance: Storm of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers985.jpg)

Last Appearance: Storm of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1171.jpg)

Special Rules: Enemy can gain no combat resolution bonus for flank or rear attacks or outnumbering, for any combat involving Valten. Additionally he and any unit he leads are immune to psychology, except that they are stubborn. Any friendly unit within 12" may add any wounds caused by Valten (before effects of the D3 Wounds on Ghal Maraz are applied) to their own combat resolution. Valten may not be the General unless he has higher leadership than every other character in the army, if he is General units within 12" may not use his leadership. He has a 5+ ward save. If Valten is killed, take a leadership test at the end of that phase, if he passes he recovers 1 Wound and remains alive (does not apply if caught fleeing or killed with killing blow). Althandin, Valten's Elven steed, counts as a monster and is barded (offering 5+ save) with no restriction to movement.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1173.jpg)


Ghal Maraz – grants +2 Attacks, all hits wound automatically with no armour save causing D3 Wounds. Armour of the Heldenhammer – provides a 2+ Armour Save, Magic Resistance (2) and prevents any model (including friendly ones) in base contact from casting spells or using Bound items.

My Memories of the Character: Taken from me by one of those memory wiping things from Men in Black, yes Games Workshop got to me.

Person most Reminds Me Of: No one, I can't remember him.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available, in three different forms (I don't know why but I am sure someone can reply and tell us)!! As Champion of Sigmar (when he couldn't afford a horse):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1301.jpg)

Chosen of Sigmar when he got a cheap horse:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1300.jpg)

And Exalted of Sigmar when he went to webuyanyhorse.com and swapped his original horse for a brand new Elven steed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1299.jpg)

However you try and convert those rules into 8th edition, he's going to be a monstrous hero to fight against, even his magic items are horrendous. I think most of his special rules would carry across reasonably well, at a high points cost, and if you were playing fun Warhammer with a suitably minded opponent he probably would let you take all those items provided he took some suitably vile characters too!

[/spoiler]

Get yourself over to  the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar right now, click here – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37317;topicseen#msg37317 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37317;topicseen#msg37317)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 06, 2011, 07:31:48 am
Tuesday 6th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Yesterday I said that someone would be able to reply with an answer to my question about Valten – turns out I was wrong, the day before I said that I wouldn't be buying a High Elf Army Box set – turns out again I was wrong, god dam you Games Workshop, stop stealing my money.

Oh and remember if you have any models of these special characters, take a pic and PM me a link and I'll add it to the calendar!

[spoiler]
Tuesday 6th: Marco Colombo

Name: Marco Colombo

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1201.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 176 points including the magic items Gem of Lustria, Gourd of Lustrian Wineand the Scroll of Araby.

Background: Marco Colombo the result of genetically combining the explorer Marco Polo and the fictional detective Colombo. Marco Colombo is famous for discovering Lustria, though the Norse found it many years earlier, completely unlike the real world explorer Columbus. He established peaceful relations with the Lizardmen and discovered the Norse colony of Skeggi. Returning with much wealth he became the artist currently known as Prince of Trantio

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1204.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition, he didn't make the "Get You By" army list in White Dwarfs 251 & 252 (November and December 2000) that is still "Getting You By" as there's never been another book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1218.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1222.jpg)

Special Rules: Marco is armed with a crossbow and can move and shoot from horseback. Marco can spy hidden enemy units/characters with his telescope, roll a D6 for each hidden character/unit on a 4+ it's location must be revealed. Gem of Lustria re-roll one failed armour save per turn. Guord of Lustrian Wine once per battle Marco may drink the wine at the beginning of his turn giving +D6 strength for that turn only. Scroll of Araby once per game may be used to give him a 2+ save against the affects of any enemy spell (does not apply to any unit he is with).

My Memories of the Character: A bit of Googling found this minature does exist, but I don't know when it came out (was in my dark period). Please send complaints, updates and corrections to the usual address.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Possibly some historical figure, not really sure, no real similarities.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: You write the new Dogs of War book, I'll write Marco's new special rules.

[/spoiler]

Quick, quick I need you to head over to  OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar right now, the more clicks I get the more chance of a sponsorship deal which will pay for my new models. Click here – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37365;topicseen#msg37365 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37365;topicseen#msg37365)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 07, 2011, 08:58:55 am
Wednesday 7th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

In a desperate to fill up this introductory statement, which for some reason I feel compelled to write each day – no I have no idea why either. I can tell you that the saga of the High Elf Army box set continues as after placing my order with Ol, Games Workshop are now out of stock (certainly to independent suppliers), so the conundrum deepens, do I head into a store to pick up a copy, but with no further discount..., I should imagine given the vast amount of replies on this topic so far you couldn't give a toss. So instead here's another special character for you to look at:

[spoiler]
Wednesday 7th: Morglum Necksnapper

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1072.jpg)

Name: Morglum Necksnapper

Original Points Cost: 150 points, may carry additional magic items.

Background:Morglum Necksnapper is a famous Black Orc Warlord, famous for crushing a Bretonnian army at Death Pass (well if you're going to call a pass that, what do you expect?). He's a bit of an orator by Orc standards with the following quotes attributed to him "Let 'em tell da King. Da east belongs to da Orcs. Da east belongs to Morglum. Da east is green." – which is true if you travel on the District Line. He also said "The only good stunty is a dead stunty, and the only thing better n' a dead stunty is a dyin' stunty who tells yer where to find 'is mates." And his other famous quote "Education, education, education".

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 177 (September 1994).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1078.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1082.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1085.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins – 4th Edition, though mention in the background of the 7th and 8th edition books.

Special Rules: Immune to psychology. That's it. Seriously that is it. Oh except he has to be your general and you have to include a unit of Black Orcs if you field him. But that is it. Not even some special magic items.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1090.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Many, he was one of the first special characters I ever owned and regularly lead my Savage Orc Boar Boyz in glorious charges where they died in droves (shocking as it may seem, I was worse at Warhammer back then, than I am now!). Him Skarsnik, Grom and Gorfang Rotgut often led my green hordes.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Jack Dee, just because he has the word "glum" in his name, maybe we can cheer up Morglum with a selection of inspirational self-healing seminars?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Pretty simple, Black Orcs are immune to psychology as standard now. So any Black Orc boss on a war boar will do. Go on do it now, go, quick!

[/spoiler]

Come on I need the page impressions, head to the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar for another juicy character, here's a link I've helpfully provided: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37439;topicseen#msg37439 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37439;topicseen#msg37439)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 07, 2011, 02:10:38 pm
I had the Marco Colombo mini still in a blister uptil a clear out I had a few years  back, sold it for very little sadly, as it was a nice mini...
I think it was only given away at a Games day...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 07, 2011, 02:30:42 pm
It was available in GW stores too, I've got him in my empire army as an engineer
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 08, 2011, 09:11:35 am
Quote from: maelzch on December 07, 2011, 02:30:42 pm
It was available in GW stores too, I've got him in my empire army as an engineer

Well you know the rules, snap and PM me a photograph!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 08, 2011, 11:22:26 am
Thursday 8th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Apologies for the late posting this morning but yesterday was the work Christmas party – we'll say no more:

[spoiler]
Thursday 8th: Reynard le Chasseur

Name: Reynard le Chasseur

Original Points Cost: 90 points, including Groffe and Griffe.

Background: Reynard le Chasseur is a reknown hunter throughout all of Bretonnia, accompanied by hawk, warhorse, his two hounds Groffe and Griffe and his boar spear. He regularly gallops through Bretonnia on Orc hunting parties, taking part in Bretonnain Top Gear Challenges and protesting in pro-hunt marches.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1101.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1266.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1268.jpg)

Special Rules:  Reynard's Boar Spear is not a magic item, it confers +1 Strength on the charge and if it wounds his opponent (before they have fought) they lose D6 Attacks for that turn only. Griffe and Groffe the hounds accompany Reynard, if they are slain Reynard becomes subject to hatred of the enemy, if Reynard is slain the dogs are moved together using the scatter dice attacking any model they hit. Reynard's Hawk gives him +1 Attack. Reynard may lead a unit of Mounted Squires, if so they gain the Knight's Virtue.

My Memories of the Character: None, but the reminder of my mum's yummy Chicken Chasseur every time I hear his name.

Person most Reminds Me Of: I can imagine Countryfile's John Craven riding around the country hawk and dogs in tow!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: As far as I'm aware no model has ever existed for this character, so what could you use? Well a Bretonnian Hero with a spear replacing his lance would work, and how about two Chaos Hounds with a bit of conversion to make them non-chaotic for Groffe and Griffe. Any better suggestions?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1309.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1310.jpg)

Rules-wise, all seems ok to me, seems like a fun character unlikely to do much in combat but at 90 points what's the drawback?!

[/spoiler]

Surely you know the drill by now? Head to the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar for more calendar fun, here's a link I've helpfully provided: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37536;topicseen#msg37536 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37536;topicseen#msg37536)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 08, 2011, 04:02:08 pm
There were a couple of hounds that came with Orion that you could use, I think they were vaguely wolfhound like in appearance so probably suits quite well, admittedly a rather expensive option compared to a couple of WoC dogs.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 09, 2011, 08:16:55 am
Quote from: Dave on December 08, 2011, 04:02:08 pm
There were a couple of hounds that came with Orion that you could use, I think they were vaguely wolfhound like in appearance so probably suits quite well, admittedly a rather expensive option compared to a couple of WoC dogs.

I guess it is all down to how much Green Stuff you want to use!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 09, 2011, 08:34:07 am
Friday 9th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

I can excitedly reveal that yesterday I finished my Christmas shopping, woooo! I know you don't care, but I do. Here's today's character:

[spoiler]
Friday 9th: Engineer Burlock Damminson

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1013.jpg)

Name: Engineer Burlock Damminson

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1027.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 210 points, including runic items.

Background: Burlock Damminson was an experimental inventor with his friend Sven Goren Ericksson inventor of the mobile phone. They built several new Dwarf inventions such as the warpfire distillery, steam radiophone and stilts so they could reach the biscuit tin on the top shelf. In a terrible accident, that occurred whilst developing a device to wipe Fearne Cotton off the face of the planet, Burlock's arm was blown clean off. Fortunately the Dwarfen NHS was able to replace it with a robotic prosthetic arm giving him super human strength.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 166 (October 1993).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1018.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1030.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1034.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 4th Edition, though mentioned in the background of Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 6th Edition...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1020.jpg)

...and the current book, which is also 6th Edition, rather confusingly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1022.jpg)

Special Rules: Other than a massively improved Strength (3 more than an equivalent Hero and an additional Wound), Burlock had no special rules. He is armed with a hammer engraved with the Master Rune of Swiftness – always strikes first, and Burlock's Armour engraved with the Rune of Stone – armour save increased by 1, and the Rune of Iron +1 Toughness.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1029.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: One of my many Dwarf characters that fought alongside my Dwarf horde back in the day, probably less favoured than Ungrim and Gotrek & Felix my favourites. At the time he was the only Engineer available to the Dwarfs, whereas now you can cram many different levels of Engineer into the army to improve your war machines.

Person most Reminds Me Of: It would be cruel to say Heather Mills, so Heather Mills.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available from the Games Workshop website, along with a host of other old Dwarfs you can purchase.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1057.jpg)

In terms of his runes all still exist, though the Rune of Iron now gives a 6+ Ward Save, whereas the Master Rune of Adamant is the one you need for +1 Wound. If you wanted to cost up the increased Strength of the Engineer then you could add 60 points to a basic Master Engineer (which would be the equivalent of +3 Strength costed through Runes of Cleaving). Go for it, who knows he may make a repeat appearance in the forthcoming Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 8th Edition.

Engineer Burlock Damminson is particularly for Dave who I teased all last year about his inclusion in the Advent Calendar only to not bother!

[/spoiler]

Head over to the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar for more calendar fun, go on it's Friday you need to waste more time at work!: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37585;topicseen#msg37585 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37585;topicseen#msg37585)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 10, 2011, 09:04:22 am
Saturday 10th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Today I am happily putting up Christmas decorations! Yeah, new tree or not new tree? That is the question:

[spoiler]
Saturday 10th: Marius Leitdorf

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers994.jpg)
What an eclectic range of models released this month?

Name: Marius Leitdorf, Elector Count of Averland

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1005.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 140 points, including Runefang.

Background:Marius Leitdorf is known as the Mad Lord of Averland, given to bouts of screaming rage during which no one can reason with him (this is perfectly normal isn't it?). His madness has meant he is no longer welcome in any other courts of the Elector Counts or Altdorf, still nice to get to spend some time at home. He is expertly skilled in a range of abilities from poet, to painter, to inventor.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: The Empire – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 184 (April 1995).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1001.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers988.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: The Empire – 4th Edition, though mentioned in the background of the 6th and 7th edition books. However a new model was released for him in White Dwarf 354 (June 2009), though no new rules were released from him.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers997.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1000.jpg)

Special Rules: Marius Leitdorf is subject to Frenzy. He is armed with a Runefang – no armour saves, not even magic armour against wounds inflicted by Marius. Undead wounded by a Runefang suffer two wounds. Marius wields his Runefang alongside an additional hand weapon, giving him a further attack.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1006.jpg)


My Memories of the Character: When I played 4th edition Warhammer there just seemed to be hundreds of special characters, combined with their thousands of wizard models (for each College, mounted and on foot). This made it feel impossible to keep up with who they all were, especially all the Elector Counts – and made me jealous with my other armies with their more modest collections of special characters.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Prone to fits of madness and never invited out anywhere – god it could be me?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available, but for rules...Well a General of the Empire mounted on a horse would make a pretty good start, the Runefang still exists though it's Dwarfen runes have been pimped up as now it automatically wounds with no armour save (though it's less vicious on Undead now). You could add the special rule Frenzy for 15 points (the cost Chaos Lords pay for it under Mark of Khorne) though he won't be as vicious in 4th edition – where Frenzy doubled attacks, it actually says in the book he has 7 attacks, not bad for an Elector Count!!

[/spoiler]

More over on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar head there now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37627;topicseen#msg37627 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37627;topicseen#msg37627)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 11, 2011, 08:45:57 am
Sunday 11th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

I didn't get a new tree, £70 seemed a lot so old plastic tree it is!:

[spoiler]
Sunday 11th: Melkhior

Name: Melkhior

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1244.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 660 points, including the magic items the Painbringer, the Grimoire Necronium and the Black Cloak of Lahmia.

Background: Melkhior is the ancient, of the Necrarch Vampires, he lives in complete isolation in a tower in the Forest of Shadows where he is experimenting on ways to convince the living to join the Undead willing. His efforts are usually concentrated on cold calling and mail outs. His vast torture chambers are filled with wretched souls who replied to his spam e-mails. Melkhoir's grip of Necromantic magic is much stronger than similar Vampires due to the fact he is nearer to death than life. He has decomposed to a skeletal reeking horror and his eyes are pools of pure evil. He spends his time painting hellish visions of an Undead future on human skin and hopes to win the Turner Prize.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1238.jpg)

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition, model released in White Dwarf 235 (July 1999).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1234.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1242.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition, though mentioned in the background of Zacharias the Everling in Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 6th Edition, and again in the current book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1237.jpg)

Special Rules: Melkhior rides a flying Winged Nightmare and is subject to Stupidity. He has the following Necrarch bloodlines: Supernatural Horror causes Terror, Death Incarnate any living creature within 6" suffers a -1 Leadership penalty, Nehekhara's Noble Blood (this is improved to) Level 4 Necromancer with three spells and can recast Necromantic spells on a 4+, Forbidden Lore may take a fourth spell, Master of the Black Arts +1 bonus to recast Necromantic spells (making it 3+). Melkhior has the following magic items: Panbringer any enemy model hit by Melkhior is at -1 to hit for the rest of the battle. Grimoire Necronium choose one Necromantic spell at the beginning of the battle, this may be cast once per magic phase with no power cards (it may be recast as normal), each time you use it roll a D6 on a 1 or 2 the book becomes exhausted. Black Cloak of Lahmia no non-magical shooting attacks can be made against Melkhior.

My Memories of the Character: 5th Edition Vampires confused me. Undead had just been split into two different armies which confused me. Necromancers had been powered down and Vampires had been split into five different types. It was very confusing I didn't know what was going on!?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1248.jpg)

Person most Reminds Me Of: Decomposed to a skeletal reeking horror with eyes which are pools of pure evil – that's Gillian McKeith surely.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The constant changing of the Vampire Counts books and my general poor level of Vampire knowledge makes this hard, the Vampiric powers Master of the Black Arts, Supernatural Horror and Forbidden Lore still exist (though in different forms and will slightly break the 100 point barrier) so you could create a Vampire Lord with those powers and give him Stupidity, magic levels can be bought separately. As for the magic items, they've all gone now but the rules for Painbringer and Black Cloak of Lahmia transfer to 8th reasonably well and don't seem ridiculously overpowered. Grimoire Necronium does however seem like an opportunity to let Vampire Counts players abuse the magic phase even more!

[/spoiler]

Have you heard about the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar? If not head over here now:  http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37645;topicseen#msg37645  (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37645;topicseen#msg37645)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2011, 08:36:45 am
Monday 12th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

And the winner of The X Factor 2011 is....

[spoiler]
Monday 12th: Nurglitch

Name: Nurglitch, Arch Plague Lord of Clan Pestilens

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1292.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 575 points, including magic items the Blade of Nurglitch and the Bubonic Sceptre.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1295.jpg)

Background: Nurglitch was the first Plague Lord of Clan Pestilens and began the war against the Lizardmen inflicting plague after plague on them and riding out the tropical heat of Lustria. He was attended by Bilios and rides a giant mutant rat called Pox (at least it's not a Hell Pit Abomination!). Nurglitch's work against the Lizardmen was so impressive, that he gained a Brownie Badge for Plague infliction and got Clan Pestilens a seat on the Skaven High Council.

Original Appearance: Lustria (the supplement, not the place)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1288.jpg)

Last Appearance: Lustria, though mentioned in the background of Warhammer Armies: Skaven – 7th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1298.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1294.jpg)

Special Rules:  Nurglitch may only be used in the Lustria supplement's Bubonic Court list. Nurglitch, Bilios and Pox have a combined profile and unit strength of 3. He is a level 3 wizard knowing the spells Plague, Death Frenzy and Pestilent Breath and has three Warpstone tokens. He causes Terror, suffers from Frenzy and Hatred (additionally no units in Nurglitch's army lose their Frenzy so long as Nurglitch lives). Nurglitch has a 5+ ward save, can never suffer wounds from any Skaven or Nurgle spells (except Warp Lightning) and is immune to the effect of Plague Censer Bearers. Any non-Clan Pestilens or non-Bubonic Court unit or model within 6" of Nurglitch is at -1 WS, and any such model in base contact with Nurglitch takes a Strength 4 hit with no armour saves at the end of any turn (Red Crested Skinks – Lustria supplement, are not affected by this rule). Nurglitch has the following magic items: Blade of Nurglitch any model suffering an unsaved wound from this weapon loses 1 Toughness (down to a minimum of Toughness 1), Bubonic Sceptre – bound spell level 5, choose an enemy unit within 18" and roll a D6 for every model in the unit, every 6 results in a wound with no armour saves.

My Memories of the Character: None Lustria is a mystery to me, found the book cheap on eBay!

Person most Reminds Me Of: Someone who crossed the ocean to inflict terrible plague and contagion on the new world – Piers Morgan surely?!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available on the Games Workshop website. None of his rules seem awful and in desperate need of change to make him fit 8th edition, the Blade of Nurglitch still even exists. Though you would need to change the rule "Nurglitch may only be used in the Lustria supplement's Bubonic Court list." Else he would be no use at all.

[/spoiler]

There's another special character over on The Xtra Factor on ITV2 also known as OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar. Click here now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37668;topicseen#msg37668 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37668;topicseen#msg37668)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2011, 09:54:20 am
Update 25 – Monday 12th December 2011: The Ladybird Book of Adrenaline

First up here's a special treat for those of you following the Advent Calendars:

[spoiler]

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1393.jpg)

[/spoiler]

As I suspected, no one is reading, and no one will notice this rudeness!!!

Anyway moving on to this week's topic, the other weekend I had my first ever taste of Extreme Sports, I say "extreme" sports, "extreme" is of course a relative term. Those of you veteran blog readers will remember way back in August, when I talked about the London rioters and my predisposition to worrying – check out Update 2.

Yes. When worrying is a full on hobby for you, crossing the road without using a designated pedestrian crossing can give you the kind of terrifying thrill, that a normal person can only find by going parachute jumping without a parachute. So given my deep nervous disposition you'll understand when I say that my Sunday spent Go Karting, to me, was a foray deep into the world of Extreme Sports. In fact not knowing how to drive and never even having had a single driving lesson, all meant that this would be my first time in charge of a motor vehicle with any speed above that of kiddy dodgems, which generally are so slow that even the most lacklustre of snails have time to throw themselves to safety should they see one approaching.

Usually pathetic people, such as myself, would only ever dream of doing something so adventurous if we were forced to by circumstance – such as a stag weekend, or other such hideous social activity where people do things they don't want to please someone they sort of like. As a general rule I try and avoid new experiences in case they're aren't enjoyable, why do something that could turn out to be unpleasant when you can do something you always do, that you know you'll enjoy? Never have I once been horrified by sitting on my own sofa, except for the time my flatmate had Coach Trip on.

Anyway for reasons too tedious to explain, the other Sunday I found myself at a Go Karting track near Tower Bridge with a group of work colleagues/friends - they might be reading so I don't want to sound too fond of them. Now you'd think trying out a new activity in amongst a group of friends, would be the perfect way to test out new experiences – as they'll be there to support you every step of the way, even if you don't enjoy the experience or aren't any good. How wrong you are. Friends I've found can often be as much support as Gordon Ramsay in a beginner's cookery lesson. Unlike friends even the most obnoxious of strangers tend not to pour scorn over you whenever you make a mistake or find yourself out of your depth, whereas friends (certainly these ones – in case they are reading!) have an entirely different dog-eat-dog agenda where all that counts is finding new material with which to mock you. A hobby which they already excel at. Still part of me had high hopes, maybe I'd be naturally good at Go Karting, maybe despite all on-paper predictions, I'd be a brilliant Go Karter zooming around the track, weaving in out of the opposition and running loops round my friends. As I claimed victory after victory, and got to stand on the podium spraying champagne around with comic disregard for where it was landing. It would be like the movies where the nerdy kid is really good at American Football and has a result wins a place in the cool kids and a hot girl to be at his side. Maybe, just maybe, I held onto that dream as I entered the building.

If you're are feeling a bit nervous prior to your first race you'd be hoping that walking into the Go Karting centre is going to reassure you of some of your fears - it's not. As to greet you at the door is a sign saying that "Go Karting is a potentially dangerous sport, you are here at your own risk.", after reading that you are presented with a waiver to sign, accepting you may die, and asked to give details of your next of kin. All of which is about as comforting as receiving a large package at your house hand delivered by the Taliban. You're then presented with a one-size does not fit all Crystal Maze-esque jump suit (Richard O'Brien era of course, with different coloured shoulder pads for no real discernable reason) to put on in the changing room where you also find a locker for all your worldly goods and a pad and pen for recording your last will and testament.

Afterwards it's time to head to the briefing room to be given a tutorial on how the karts work, and all the important safety information. My general reading of the room is the more manly a person you are, the more likely you are to scoff at and ignore the safety instructions. I took detailed notes. The controls seemed simple enough, a steering wheel – which was pretty self-explanatory and two pedals, the accelerator and the brake (this is broadly speaking how normal cars work – or so I've been told). And the basic rules were no bumping, no hitting the sides (who aims to hit the side anyway?), no running down the marshals, no spitting and no wearing poppies on your shirts. There's also a complicated system of flags and lights dotted around the track, green lights mean go (with me so far?), flashing yellow lights mean proceed at walking pace (and try not to hit the marshal who is on the track pushing someone off the wall), red means stop and black means you've been disqualified. How anyone is supposed to see a black light though?

With all that information appropriately stored, I nervously headed trackside, a place where it's impossible not to hum Fleetwood Mac's Formula 1 theme tune in your head, no matter how inappropriate to your driving skill it may feel. Here I was given a helmet, which due to my hideously deformed oversized head had to be one of the super-freak sized helmets on the top shelf designed to fit Andrew Marr's ears. I followed the important advice to leave the visor open a crack so as not to steam it up. Given my nervous heavy breathing there was every chance my helmet would turn into a Finnish sauna at any minute, and driving round with a completely obscured visor might not be the safest driving experience. Still I held onto my dream, maybe I would claim victory?

Approximately ten seconds after leaving the starting grid it became exceptionally apparent that I would not be fulfilling my dreams today. Whilst everyone else roared off (well didn't really roar, they were electric not petrol go karts), I stuttered along the track like a crippled milk float. Unaccustomed to being in charge of a motor vehicle at any speed, the 30mph these karts could easily achieve left me a stressed, terrified, wreck at the wheel. Which didn't improve as I headed into the first hairpin bend and simply ploughed straight into a wall of tyres, only to have to be pulled out by a marshal, a feat which much to the marshal's disapproval, I repeated on the next four laps. The lights changed from green to flashing yellow so often due to my incompetence you could be forgiven for thinking it was an indoor disco. After the marshal gave me a little pep talk on how using the steering wheel would help get around the corner (I knew that, I'm just not very good!), I started to worry that I'd be taken off for poor driving – crashing into the walls, after all, is disallowed. Bad as it would be to come last, I'd never survive the post race ribbing I'd get from my friends if I was disqualified for been as inept as Maureen from the old BBC show Driving School. Hence the next few laps were spent carefully steering around the course, allowing people to overtake me, simply concentrating on getting around the track rather than worrying at all about position.

After a few laps like this, I made a fatal mistake. I became confident. Heading into a rather tight corner, I decided speed was of the essence, the brakes weren't required, simply confident steering. A few seconds later a sharp skid caused me plough side first into the tyre wall at what I considered to be a horrific velocity, I was flung into the side of my seat which dug right into my ribs. The combined force of the impact and the surprise, as unlike most of my other crashes I hadn't seen it coming, successfully took the metaphorical wind out of my sails. Not to mention leaving with a really sore set of bruises all over the side of my body which are currently the colour of the Ribena berries. The force of the impact had been so great that my visor sprung off it's mountings on my helmet, and I headed straight to the pits to have it repaired, much to the mocking of fellow racers who considered my foolish worry for protecting my eyesight to be ridiculously unnecessary.

The rest of the first race I completed terrified of repeating my crash I headed around at the pace of an average student tidying their bedroom, stopping at each corner before looking both ways and completing the turn in a safe and serene fashion. I got lapped so often, that the race organisers thought the lap board must have been malfunctioning. Eventually the chequered flag was waved, and we all had to head in the pits next time we'd passed them, but where were the pits? In all the "excitement" I'd forgotten where the entrance was. I couldn't afford to just miss it, and go around again, that would surely get me thrown off the track as it would like I was taking the piss. Plus the other drivers would have to wait seven hours for me to complete one more circuit of the average twenty-eight second course. The track ahead was clear, so I took my eyes of the road and darted around looking for the pits, ahhh there they were just round the next corner. My eyes darted back to the road, to find that I simply veered off at a right angle and was rapidly approaching a tyre wall. I hit the brakes and came to a rest about 10 centimetres in front of the wall, I'd not crashed, I'd effectively parked. However without a reverse gear there was no way I could get out of this position without crashing. Worse I'd crashed/parked on a completely straight bit of the track, there were no marshals around to help as no one had ever crashed here before in the history of the course. Instead I was forced to call one over with a camp wave and a shout of "Ahoy there!". I finally made it back to the pits and gracefully navigated the tight entrance to stop a foot behind the car ahead of me, in what I thought was quite a controlled manoeuvre. Unfortunately the marshal wanted me to close the small gap between the cars to half a foot, as expected I was unable to perform such a subtle navigational change and simply ploughed into the back of the car ahead shunting everyone ahead along like a racing themed Newton's Cradle.

The remaining two races were much the same, with me trailing at the back of the leaderboard, simply pleased to have stayed on the track as everyone else merrily overtook me. In fact the only people I ever overtook were stationary cars that had crashed, I never once overtook anyone at speed. Finally we got trackside again, and were presented with our result's sheets, at this point no one else knew how awfully I'd done the leaderboard only listed kart numbers not names. Sadly this ignorance was shattered when the marshal handing out my sheet called my number in a very loud and unsubtle way – that man should not be allowed to break bad news in a hospital.

So there we go, my first taste of Extreme Sports, did I enjoy it? My ribcage would certainly say no, I'd go as far as to say it was "alright". The fun aspect was largely balanced out by the stress I found during the whole experience as I constantly gripped the steering wheel so hard it was probably bent out of shape. I did get better in fairness, by race three I came last by a considerable margin rather an astronomical one. Would I do it again? Maybe, with a roll bar, padded seating, wrapped entirely in bubble wrap and with someone else to do the driving. Oh and to the bright spark who after the race suggested paint-balling next time... no thank you, I'd rather eat my own scrotum! Leave me to my own Extreme Sport of walking past a broken glass bottle worrying that if I feel over I could cut my neck open. It could happen.

Oh and if you're wondering about:

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 34

Yeah, errr... yeah.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 13, 2011, 08:55:52 am
Tuesday 13th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

We've passed the halfway point people, not long to go now...

[spoiler]
Tuesday 13th: Itzi-Bitzi

Name: Itzi-Bitzi

Original Points Cost: 105 points, including the magic item The Piranha Blade.

Background: Itzi-Bitzi was the cleverest Skink commander and a regular on Eggheads he has been responsible for the doom of many foreign expeditions into Lizardmen territory – as expected he was an avid reader of The Daily Mail. Itzi-Bitzi was at the side of the Mage Lord Zletp of Tlaxtlan when he thought his last thought, The Incantation of Xetlipocutzl – a great ritual that spells doom for all enemies, much like Cliff Richard's Saviour's Day. He keeps the prophecy a secret until this day, though he accidentally blubbed into his best mate after a bit of a drink.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 5th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1225.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 5th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1232.jpg)

Special Rules: Itzi-Bitzi is Cold Blooded, with a 4+ armour save (never modified to worse than 6+). Itzi-Bitzi can cross water features without penalty. Once per battle (at any time in the Lizardmen turn) Itzi-Bitzi may recite The Incantation of Xetlipocutzl, all enemy units within 8" take a panic test on 3D6 discarding the lowest result. The Piranha Blade – Each wound is multiplied to D3 wounds.

My Memories of the Character: Primarily finding him in the Lizardmen book last year when looking for characters for the 2010 Advent Calendar. I don't believe there's been a model for him, a quick search in Google images just brought up a baby shoe company!

Person most Reminds Me Of: Timmy Mallet, if you don't know why, you are lucky – don't whatever you do put Timmy Mallet and Itzi-Bitzi in YouTube. Seriously don't.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: No distinguishing characteristics for this model, other than a razor tipped saw, so you could use this Skink hero model:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1306.jpg)

No earth-shattering rules here, so I think they'd all translate across – discuss... in the privacy of your own home. I'm not that fussed!

[/spoiler]

There's yet another special character on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar? Click here now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37705;topicseen#msg37705 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37705;topicseen#msg37705)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 14, 2011, 09:18:56 am
Wednesday 14th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Still painting Spearmen here!

[spoiler]
Wednesday 14th: Amon 'Chakai

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers975.jpg)

Name: Amon 'Chakai

Original Points Cost: 855 points (including Daemonic Rewards The Hand of Destiny, Master of Sorcery and All Seeing Eye)

Background: Amon 'Chakai, which is Japanese for Forgotten Special Character, is the oldest and wisest of the Lords of Change seeing the threads of destiny so clearly he can weave a lovely cross stitch with them on his Singer sewing machine. For a thousand years he has sat immovable on his throne on the Impossible Fortress, presumably watching the full uncut edition of The Lord of the Rings box set. He has now been roused and has a really painful numb bum, so painful his anger can only be sated by attacking the mortal world.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Realm of Chaos – Champions of Chaos - 5th Edition, no model released.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers971.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Realm of Chaos – Champions of Chaos - 5th Edition

Special Rules: Amon 'Chakai can fly, causes terror, has a 1+ Daemonic Saving throw, and hates all Nurgle Daemons and any creature or unit with a Mark of Nurgle. He has the following Daemonic Rewards. The Hand of Destiny one enemy selected by the Daemon player is doomed to die, all shooting and hand-to-hand attacks against this model automatically hit, even if Amon 'Chakai has died. Master of Sorcery Amon' Chakai is a Level 5 Wizard and may draw from the Tzeentch, Dark or Battle Magic decks (wasn't Battle Magic rubbish?). All Seeing Eye may select any enemy character at the beginning of the battle, they must reveal all equipment, magic items, special abilities and spells, if the model is a wizard the Daemon player may select one spell to be discarded.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers978.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Remember seeing this in the Champions of Chaos book and thinking, they'll never release a second Lord of Tzeentch model. Now looking at Karios Fateweaver, maybe they would have! Other than that 855 points is a lot, combined with the fact he must be accompanied by 855 points of Tzeentch Deamons as his retinue means a lot of Pink Horrors!

Person most Reminds Me Of: E.T. – look at the hand in the artwork from the book and tell me you don't agree. Though his name is a little bit like Eamonn Holmes – discuss?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: With no real discerning physical features Amon 'Chakai could easily be represented by the current Lord of Change model:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1055.jpg)

Amon 'Chakai does feel a bit like a watered down Karios Fateweaver in both rules and background. I mean only 5 spells, who'd want that when you can have 14?! The Master of Sorcery everyone's favourite Daemonic Reward still exists so could be used, the Hand of Destiny seems harsh, though toned to be re-roll failed hits (maybe even just from Amon?) makes it comparable to similar skills. All Seeing Eye doesn't seem too awful, except perhaps against Level 1 Wizards. Though we might to change the 1+ Daemonic Saving Throw, a 1+ Ward Save would not be fun.

[/spoiler]

There's a mince pie and a glass of sherry awaiting at the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar – ok technically it's only another special character! Click here now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37756;topicseen#msg37756 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37756;topicseen#msg37756)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 14, 2011, 01:33:50 pm
QuoteAs I suspected, no one is reading, and no one will notice this rudeness!!!

Cheeky, plenty of people reading buddy, check your hits.... :cool3:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on December 14, 2011, 01:35:35 pm
I was reading, until you started being so rude :(
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 14, 2011, 02:38:43 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on December 14, 2011, 01:33:50 pm
Cheeky, plenty of people reading buddy, check your hits.... :cool3:

He he I know, I just need an excuse to be mischevious  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 14, 2011, 07:07:35 pm
Update 26 – Wednesday 14th December 2011: Mistletoe, Spears and Wine

It's that time again, I'm off on another ramble about my painting exploits.

Apologies for my hidden picture of a poo earlier in the week, just a little self-deprecating humour based on my inability to accept that anyone would want to actually read the rubbish that I churn out!! Apparently people do!!! Shocking I know. Anyway if you were disgusted, I don't want to do a Clarkson, so here's something to make up for up it.

But maybe you don't trust me enough to open it?

[spoiler]

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1438.jpg)

No it's not a poo, it's a cute little kitty. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

[/spoiler]

If you didn't read my earlier blog the last couple of paragraphs will make no sense and you will think I am mad. Oh well.

Those of you keeping with the plot of this behemoth blogging session, may have been wondering what happened to Santa and his Elves in the OG Campaign, well here is their final update:

Santa and his Elves

Battle 4 – versus Lee's Warriors of Chaos

Santa and his Elves were hoping for better luck after last time's crushing defeat against the Orc & Goblin hordes, but a large group of Khornate Warriors stood in the way (along with a couple of Disc riding Sorcerers). For once in the game the Elves decided not to rush forward preferring to bide their time and try and whittle down the Warriors with shooting and magic, sadly it was not to be as the Elves' archery and sorcery proved unable to penetrate the strong Chaos Armour. Though the Repeater Bolt Thrower got a few sneaky flank shots off cutting down many of the Chaos Knights.

The Tzeentch sorcerers however ran rings around the Elves, getting behind their lines and Gatewaying off the Dragon Princes, and handfuls of Swordmasters of Hoeth. By the time the Warriors hit the High Elf lines there numbers hadn't been sufficiently thinned. The Lothern Sea Guard bravely held up a unit of Warriors allowing the Phoenix Guard to crash into the rear. But the sheer number of attacks the Warriors threw out saw Elves die in droves. The Eagle bravely held up one unit of Warriors to bide the other Elves time.

Unfortunately the Swordmasters got outmanoeuvred by the Chaos Hounds who drew them out of position before they were cut down by magic and finally slain though they did butcher the Chaos Knights. Eventually even the Phoenix Guard's ward save wasn't enough to save them against the Warriors of Chaos, particularly after a second unit hit them in the flank. However Folraith's Robe on Santa meant the Warriors of Chaos couldn't harm him, and he locked the two units in combat repeatedly casting Courage of Anaerion on himself in order to make him stubborn and lock both units in play. The crowd of onlookers repeatedly called for Santa to throw all his dice at the spell in the hope he'd miscast and take scores of Chaos Warriors down with him. Eventually however, even the Courage of Anaerion deserted Santa and he fled only to be cutdown. The Elves were destroyed, the only minor consolation was the loss was 19-1 rather than 20-0.

Big thanks to the massive crowd support I had in that game, surprisingly a lot of it came from Team Evil! Which made the whole thing very enjoyable, if mad.

Battle 5 – versus Bart's Orcs & Goblins

The prediction had already been that I would lose this match, thanks for your support Lee (ok you're on Team Evil, but everyone else from Team Evil seemed to be on my side).

Initially luck appeared to be with me, as the High Elf Archers accompanied by my Fire Mage took control of a large tower. And an impressive volley of arrow fire and a barrage of magic from the Fire Mage killed half of one of the massive units of Savage Orcs. Even the miscast of the Fire Mage only resulted in one Archer dying, after the Mage himself amazingly escaped a wound.

Things continued well as the same unit of Savage Orcs attempted to charge the Archers in the tower, but failed to reach their target allowing more arrow fire to whittle down their numbers. However the Doom Divers again proved my undoing obliterating the Dragon Princes (at least this time it took two direct hits!). The Wolf Riders engaged the Bolt Thrower crew, a battle that would last almost the entire game as the Goblins continued to fail their fear test whilst the crew failed to breach the Wolf Rider's armour. Eventually the Bolt Thrower would be destroyed.

Luck however swung back my way as the Phoenix Guard charged a Wolf Chariot which fled, and although it destroyed itself in dangerous terrain it left the Phoenix Guard's flank exposed to the Trolls (a downside I hadn't spotted). The Swordmasters declined to charge the depleted Savage Orcs, spotting the trap as a large number of units and chariots gathered behind them ready to pounce. The magic and shooting phase continued apace this time the Trolls received a pounding with the help of Curse of Arrow Attraction.

The Trolls charged forward towards the Phoenix Guard who were forced to flee to save getting Trolls in the flank. The Savage Orcs and Night Goblins fought each other after failing their animosity test holding up the rest of the Orc advance. The Swordmasters saw their chance, the fleeing Phoenix Guard had left the Trolls out of position and their flank exposed, however they were unable to reach their quarry. This bad fortune was compounded as a series of miscasts which eventually killed the Fire Mage. The Orcs retaliated advancing around the Swordmasters with a massive unit of Savage Orcs and several supporting chariots. The damaged Savage Orcs used a movement spell to get them close to the tower ready to storm out the Archers. And then the Savage Orc Shaman summoned Gork's foot which repeatedly came down crushing 75% of the Lothern Sea Guard and the Lion Chariot. Meanwhile the second unit of Wolf Riders attacked the Eagle who fled to safety landing close to the Orc war machines.

Trapped between a rock and a hard place the Swordmasters charged into the large unit of Savage Orcs (containing the Orc General), knowing they would take a huge pounding when the Orcs struck back they feared the worse. The Phoenix Guard attempted to join them, but the massive charge meant they couldn't reach. The Eagle rallied ready to threaten the Goblin Doomdivers. The Phoenix Guard benefited from a glittering Shield of Saphery, and though they lost a large number of Swordmasters the Battle Standard Bearer's Battle Banner kept them in the combat.

The wounded Savage Orcs charged the tower but were repelled by the Archers who refused to flee. The heavily depleted Lothern Sea Guard fled the Trolls, so the Orc Shaman magically repositioned the Trolls to threaten the tower in the subsequent turn. While Orc archery pretty much wiped out the rest of the fleeing Sea Guard making it unlikely they'd return. The Swordmasters again weathered another round of combat, despite a Snotling Pump Wagon rear charging them (only rolling 2 for impact hits, which the Shield of Saphery stopped!) fortunately the Battle Standard Bearer was locked in a challenge with the Orc Shaman and though neither side could claim the upperhand, it stopped the Bearer from being cut down by the rest of the Orcs and again the Battle Banner saved the Swordmasters from defeat.

All was looking bad for the High Elves with the Dragon Princes, Lion Chariot, Bolt Thrower & Fire Mage dead, the Lothern Sea Guard almost off the table unlikely to rally and the Swordmasters dropping fast. The Orcs had only lost a handful of chariots so far. The Phoenix Guard made a mighty charge to hit the flank of the Savage Orcs locked in combat with the Swordmasters, while the Great Eagle ploughed into one of the Doomdivers. The Savage Orc shaman made sure to stop Shield of Saphery being recast, which allowed the Orcs to butcher the remaining Swordmasters. The Shaman then inflicted the final wound on the Battle Standard Bearer, but fortunately he made his 6+ armour save (just!). With the Battle Banner still in play and the Savage Orcs disrupted by the Phoenix Guard in the flank, they broke and though the Phoenix Guard couldn't catch them the Battle Standard Bearer did single handedly wiping out a load of Savage Orcs, the General and the Orc Shaman and causing the Night Goblins to flee in the resulting panic.

The Trolls without the benefit of the general's instructions starting wandering round aimlessly at the base of the tower, the Night Goblins rallied, and the few Savage Orcs left in the earlier unit attempted to brave storming the tower knowing they'd be shot to pieces by the Archers next turn if they failed. However the Archers cut them all down before they could fight.

The tide had turned for the Elves and they were back in it, with the second Doom Diver dead from the rampaging Great Eagle (on a single wound), the Elves went for broke in the last turn knowing it was close. The Phoenix Guard and the Battle Standard charged the Night Goblins, however the Phoenix Guard failed to make it leaving the lone Battle Standard in combat on his last wound looking vulnerable. Whilst the Great Eagle ploughed into the Rock Lobba. The Archers were unable to fell the remaining Trolls still drooling outside the tower. The Battle Standard Bearer survived the combat and nearly broke the Night Goblins, but their own Battle Standard Bearer held on. However the Great Eagle was finally killed.

With the Trolls failing their stupidity test, the last remaining action of the greenskins was to finally bring down the pesky Battle Standard Bearer, who cost them so dear.

As the dust settled the points were added up and I'd just managed to snatch a 10-10 draw from the jaws of defeat. Thanks to Bart for a good game in which luck certainly swung from player to player.

That is the end of the journey for Santa, apparently he's busy this time of year!! Over the course of the campaign he got a win, 2 draws and 2 loses – which given the low expectations people (including myself) had of me is pretty good I think. Especially as the draws were against opponents who on paper were expected to cream me (don't be rude!). Thanks once again to Ol for overseeing and running the tournament as always much appreciated. At the time of writing the result hasn't been decided, but bar miracle, or fatal bus crash Team Evil are going to destroy Team Good. Curse them!!!

Over to better news, I've made progress with the Spearmen, just in time to!

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 37

Yeah with 13 days to go I've finished Stage 2 and started Stage 3 of 4 (oh dear). Here's what the Spearmen look like!

Stage 2 – High Elf Spearmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1407.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1411.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1413.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1417.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Boots: Wash Badab Black
White Cloth: Layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Armour Trim and Plume: Layer Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Wood: Layer watered down Graveyard Earth
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh

If you're a doing a massive unit like this, there are 50 of them after all! I can recommend another top tip:



Matty's Top Tip – Number 3
Stagger the stages of large units



What I did, to stop myself going mad undercoating 50 sets of shoes, then 50 tunic etc. which would have driven me up the wall, was to instead stagger the unit and vary the colour after each rank.

So I broke the 50 Spearmen down into 10 ranks of 5 (labelled rank A to E). Starting with rank E (so as to save the more dynamically positioned front row A as a treat - woo go me!) was paint them in a series of passes.

In Pass 1, I painted the skin of Rank E. In Pass 2, I painted the tunics of Rank E and the skin of Rank D. In Pass 3, I painted the armour of rank E, the tunics of Rank D and the flesh of Rank C. And so forth meaning, I was only ever painting the same colour for ten models before swapping to something else.

You might just be able to see that in this photo here:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1401.jpg)

From left to right, are one model from each of Ranks E to A with one more stage of colour added than its predecessor.

E has had its spear layered (a really subtle change), D has had the blue trim highlighted, C has had the gold painted and B has had the armour and shoes washed.

This might sound like a convoluted way of doing things, but with the highlighting of all those armour scales approaching in Stage 3 I didn't fancy the thought of 50 sets of scale armour to be highlighted in one go. Right I best get back to the painting.

On the plus side, I have very nearly finished all my High Elves:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1436.jpg)

Oh... maybe not! How did that happen?

Thanks for reading and make sure you keep up with the Advent Calendar, hopefully they'll be more Elves to show you next week!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 14, 2011, 07:28:09 pm
The suspense! Will you manage the 50 elf challenge?

Also, to be fair, during our game I don't know if the crowd were directly cheering for you or just simply against me! That's what I get for being evil!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 15, 2011, 07:33:41 am
Thursday 15th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Quote from: maelzch on December 14, 2011, 07:28:09 pm
The suspense! Will you manage the 50 elf challenge?

Bless you for caring (or at least pretending to!), I'm genuinely not sure if I will do it or not. It'll be close but what with it being Christmas they're might not be time. Obviously to celebrate painting 50 Spearmen I've done the wise thing of getting a box set with another 32 in!

Quote from: maelzch on December 14, 2011, 07:28:09 pm
Also, to be fair, during our game I don't know if the crowd were directly cheering for you or just simply against me! That's what I get for being evil!

Look, I was just trying to take the positive spin and pretend I was liked. Don't ruin it for me!

[spoiler]
Thursday 15th: Taurox

Name: Taurox, the Brass Bull

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1283.jpg)

Before the e-mails come in, yes Taurox is from the current Beastmen book, but in order to include a wide range of the armies I've had to include some characters who are forgotten because they have no model, even though they have rules!

Original (current) Points Cost: 335 points, including the magic item Rune Tortured Axes.

Background: Taurox, the Brass Bull wasn't always brass, he came to fame as chief of his tribe enforced by killing and eating anyone who met his gaze – which made it difficult to ask other Minotaurs to see if he had a stray eye lash trapped in his eye. One day he killed a nasty little Daemon who turned him into unstoppable raging beast, he killed his tribe, and everyone he met for a year and a day (we've all had bad days Christmas shopping). Eventually he destroyed an entire village, and bathed in a river of the inhabitants' blood utterly exhausted. He was then reborn in Brass form. Now he rages on his killing spree, unable to stop or to board an aircraft without setting off a metal detector.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Beastmen – 7th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1279.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1285.jpg)

Special Rules:  Taurox causes Fear, and is subject to the Frenzy, Bloodgreed and Slaughterer's Call special rules. Taurox has a 1+ Armour Save, but any attack that rolls a '6' to hit and a '6' to wound will kill him outright if he fails his save. Taurox causes D3+1 impact hits on the charge. The Rune Tortured Axes give him Flaming Attacks that ignore all armour saves.

My Memories of the Character: Cool concept, and nice character. Am personally just waiting for a model before he gets added to my Beastmen army.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Myleene Klass (because she rhymes with Brass).

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Rules clearly aren't a problem, model's a little more tricky. You could either purchase the Doombull kit, now available in funky Finecast!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1367.jpg)

Or if you're a stickler for the two hand weapons (for the Rune Tortured Axes) then use the old Minotaur Doombull model – someone's go to buy it!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers080.jpg)

Then I'd suggest getting a hold of a tub of the old Citadel Colour Brazen Brass. Simples!

[/spoiler]

Look, look! Over on OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar there's another Special Character. It's here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37829;topicseen#msg37829 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37829;topicseen#msg37829)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 09:11:24 am
Friday 16th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

It's Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooooooo

[spoiler]
Friday 16th: Zacharias

Name: Zacharias the Everliving

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1253.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 1,015 points, including Zombie Dragon and the magic items the Book of Nagash, the Staff of Kaphamon, the Scrolls of Semhtep and the Circlet of Rathek.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1261.jpg)

Background: Zacharias the Everliving studied the dark arts under Dieter Helsnicht despite increased tuition fees of up to £9,000 a year. He attempted to steel the Book of Nagash from Melkhior, however Melkhior captures him and gives him the Vampiric bite (rude for a first date). Melkhior tutored Zacharias in the Dark Arts, but eventually Zacharias tried to steal the Book of Nagash, caught by Melkhoir he fled pursued by Melkhoir's minions. Eventually Zacharias stumbled across a Black Dragon, biting it he reinvigorated himself and turned the Dragon into a Zombie Dragon. He then flew back attacking Melkhior in an EastEnders style standoff. Melkhior was defeated and his tower shattered, Zacharias claimed his trove of magic items including the Book of Nagash. It is unknown what happened to Melkhior, he may still alive plotting his revenge. Dur, dur, dur, durrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 6th Edition, model released in White Dwarf 257(May 2001)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1259.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1251.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 6th Edition, though mentioned in the background of Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 7th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1263.jpg)

Special Rules:  Zacharias the Everliving knows all six powers from the Necrarch bloodline and has the following magic items: Book of Nagash gives Zacharias one extra spell and allows him to cast Invocation of Nehek on a 15+ casting value raising 4D6 Skeletons, or 4D6+4 Zombies or healing 4 Wounds on an Undead model. Staff of Kaphamon contains bound spell Dark Hand Death, Power Level (4). Scrolls of Semhtep Zacharias can use one of these (Dispel Magic Scroll) a turn. Circlet of Rathek gives Zacharias a 4+ Ward Save.

My Memories of the Character: Big scary thing on Dragon worth lots of points please don't take it against me, thank you!

Person most Reminds Me Of: No one, he's a Vampire on a Zombie Dragon, who would that remind me off, what a stupid question!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Zacharias on his Zombie Dragon is still available on the Games Workshop website, as is a new plastic model of Vampire on Dragon, so that's not a problem.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1307.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1308.jpg)

His mighty rules are a bit more tricky. Vampiric powers have changed a bit, but (provided you don't mind breaking the 100 point cap) you could give all The Arkayne Vampiric powers – a similar but smaller to set to what he used to have! None of his magic items still exist, which is good as the Scrolls of Semhtep are vile. Just choose your own set frankly, new book out next year anyway so this is all pointless I'll only have to make up new rules in a month or two!

[/spoiler]

Please sir can I have some more! You want more! More! Ok then, well head over to OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar where there's another Special Character. It's here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37863;topicseen#msg37863 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37863;topicseen#msg37863)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 16, 2011, 03:40:36 pm
Gareth is going to take the Brass Bull to Sheffield in January, lets see if anybody gets the double 6 dice roll of death.... :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on December 16, 2011, 03:44:44 pm
With gareth's dice, everyone will roll that!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 03:47:37 pm
Quote from: maelzch on December 16, 2011, 03:44:44 pm
With gareth's dice, everyone will roll that!

Even if they are not playing him!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 03:51:09 pm
Oh while I am on here. I meant to say I will be at tomorrow's Wandsworth Waaagh (whatever number we're at now) with Jack fighting it out with our Lizardmen-High Elven alliance. Technology allowing I will be tweeting so you can follow how badly we fair at @ProByNumbers on the Twittersphere. Enjoy!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on December 16, 2011, 03:59:54 pm
Excellent! Team Kiwi looks forward to a good old fashioned bloody massacre!

Re the Brass Bull: Murphy's Law says it will be a Skaven Slave/Gnoblar that rolls the two 6s.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on December 16, 2011, 04:01:28 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 03:51:09 pm
I will be tweeting so you can follow how badly we fair

Come on Matt, I'm relying on you to be the optimistic member of our team!  :wink;m::
Although I should warn you that there's nothing good at all in my list apart from Stephanie the Stegadon.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 04:02:40 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on December 16, 2011, 04:01:28 pm
Come on Matt, I'm relying on you to be the optimistic member of our team!  :wink;m::

Sorry I will be too busy tweeting to offer optimisim or any playing ability
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on December 16, 2011, 04:54:01 pm
Don't worry matt, the rest of us will be too busy drinking to offer optimisim or any playing ability, so it will be a level playing field
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on December 16, 2011, 05:05:58 pm
QuoteWith gareth's dice, everyone will roll that!

Even if they are not playing him!


Sad but true  '/3

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2011, 05:17:21 pm
Quote from: lagar312 on December 16, 2011, 05:05:58 pm

Sad but true  '/3

In fairness I am often the same!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 17, 2011, 08:27:03 am
Saturday 17th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Before we get stuck into Day 17, just a quick reminder to say we are looking for snaps of your models from the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar, there's not long until Christmas and it would be great to feature some so make sure you send them to me asap.

And in about two hours time I will be at Wandsworth Waaagh XII (that's 12 Steven), fighting for Shakeaway amongst other things in the doubles tournament. If you'd like to keep up with how I am doing LIVE (well as much as internet delays allow for) follow on Twitter at @ProByNumbers.

Now back to your regular transmission...

[spoiler]
Saturday 17th: Borugt Facebeater

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers980.jpg)

Name: Borgut Facebeater

Original Points Cost: 175 points, including 'Ardlad's Axe o'Doom and Drog's Dead 'Ard Armour.

Background:Borgut Facebeater was discovered by Grimgor Ironhide smashing Skaven to pieces at Karak Ungor. Impressed Grimgor took him to the judges' houses and after dropping Grom accepted him as his final act for the live show. Since then Borgut Facebeater has been the right hand Orc to Grimgor Ironhide.

Original Appearance: Storm of Chaos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers985.jpg)

Last Appearance: Storm of Chaos – like everything Storm of Chaos related it's all been conveniently brushed aside as if it never happened.

Special Rules: Borgut must be the general, unless Grimgor Ironhide is in the army, if so Borgut must deploy within 12" of Grimgor. If Borgut fights a challenge he can head butt his opponent, or their monstrous mount, this occurs before all other attacks and counts at Strength 7 if it hits. If it wounds opponent strikes last at Weapon Skill 1. If Borgut is deployed in an Orc unit that unit is upgraded to Big 'Uns for free, however Borgut must stay with the unit. Borgut is equipped with the following magic items: 'Ardlad's Axe o' Doom gives +1 Strength and makes Borgut subject to the spell Gork'll Fix It (which at the time allowed the subject to re-roll it's armour save, or gain a 6+ Ward save if it has no armour save). 'Ardlad's Axe o' Doom can be used with a Choppa as an additional hand weapon. Drog's Dead 'Ard Armour gives Borgut a 1+ armour save.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers983.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: None. Games Workshop have wiped all trace of Storm of Chaos from my mind in their periodic mind reprogramming session.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Vinnie Jones – you're shocked I know who he is, aren't you?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available from the Games Workshop website, and looks pretty cool, if you ask me.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1056.jpg)

Most of the special rules for Borgut Facebeater transform pretty well to the 8th Edition, however you might want to change the fact that 'Ardlad's Axe o' Doom bestows the spell Gork'll Fix It on Borgut Facebeater as that's now a hex spell.

[/spoiler]

Quickly head over to OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar where there's another Special Character. It's here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37942;topicseen#msg37942 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37942;topicseen#msg37942)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 18, 2011, 10:46:33 am
Sunday 18th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

I've just about recovered from Wandsworth Waaagh XII and all the excitement, in order to bring you today's Advent Calendar fun...

[spoiler]
Sunday 18th: Kouran

Name: Kouran, Captain of the Black Guard

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1318.jpg)

Yes, Kouran is in the current Dark Elves book, but in order to include a wide range of the armies I've had to include some characters who are forgotten because they have no model, even though they have rules!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1327.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 4th Edition - 150 points, including the magic items Blade of Ensorcelled Iron and Armour of Meteoric Iron. 7th Edition – 75 points, including the magic items Crimson Death and The Armour of Grief.

Background: Kouran has served in the Black Guard for over a thousand years, becoming Master of the Tower of Grief after choking the life out of the previous incumbent Diathener – he then boiled the flesh from his rival's skull, making a nice table decoration. He became Captain of the Black Guard after hurling the previous Captain (Khanaleth) off the east wall of Naggarond. His current boss is very scared. Kouran cares nothing for the life of his fellow Dark Elves, much like working for the Co-Op, sacrificing over half his army once to lay a trap for the enemy.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dark Elves – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1314.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently appearing in Warhammer Armies: Dark Elves – 7th Edition, after being jettisoned from the 6th edition book!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1324.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1319.jpg)

Special Rules:  4th Edition – Kouran can only be included if your army includes the Black Guard of Naggaroth, he carries an extra hand weapon (giving him +1 Attack) and carries Blade of Ensorcelled Iron +1 to hit and the Armour of Meteoric Iron 2+ armour save.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1328.jpg)

7th Edition – Kouran is an upgrade to a Black Guard unit, any unit including him becomes Unbreakable. Kouran carries the Crimson Death always strikes the enemy with an unmodified Strength 6, and wears The Armour of Grief any model wishing to attack Kouran must pass a Toughness test at the beginning of each round of combat, if they fail they may not attack.

My Memories of the Character: None, I just looked him up now.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Gordon Ramsay – it's the axe and working style.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Don't be difficult, use the 7th edition rules not the 4th edition ones!!

As far as I am aware there never has been a model for Kouran, fortunately his change of armament in the 7th Edition rules means the standard champion from the Black Guard unit would probably work.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1330.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Get your festive butt over to OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar where there's another Special Character. It's here:  http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37956;topicseen#msg37956 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37956;topicseen#msg37956)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2011, 08:14:48 am
Monday 19th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

It's the last working Monday of the year! Who's not happy about that?

[spoiler]
Monday 19th: Repanse de Lyonesse

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1098.jpg)

Name: Repanse De Lyonesse

Original Points Cost: 310 points (including magic items The Fleur de Lys Banner and Sword of Lyonesse.)

Background: Repanse de Lyonesse was a maiden during Bretonnia's darkest hour as a vast Chaos horde had slain King Louis the Brave and was running amok in Bretonnia besieged Couronne. Repanse, inspired by a vision from the Lady of the Lake (probably drugs) raided the local grail chapel (mistaking it for a branch of JD Sports), she took a sword and a tapestry and rode towards the Chaos horde. Inspired to join Repanse and smash up Clapham Junction, many knights joined her slaying the Chaos Lord and driving the horde back to the sea thereby saving Couronne.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition, model released White Dwarf 210 (June 1997).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1101.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1093.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

Special Rules: Repanse de Lyonesse is both the general and battle standard of the army. Her inspired halo from the Lady of Lake causes Fear. She carries the following magic items The Fleur de Lys Banner during each enemy magic phase the Bretonnian player randomly removes one magic card from the opponent's hand, if it is Total Power or a Power card the Bretonnia player gains +1 combat result to all combats in the following phase, if it is the Drain Magic card the magic phase ends immediately. The Sword of Lyonesse – the magic items of any enemy model in base contact with the bearer of the Sword of Lyonesse will not work, except for magic weapons.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1104.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Remember this being released during my Bretonnian phase, when the 5th edition of Warhammer was released. Thought I had this model but a quick look in my many drawers revealed that I don't. It's still available on the Games Workshop website however, so maybe I will pick it up.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Claudia Winkelman, a woman who both inspires me and causes significant fear whenever I see her.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: You can still buy her now if you like:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1132.jpg)

All the rules for Repanse seem perfectly reasonable, and as Lizardmen players will tell you joint generals and battle standard bearers have a role to play. The Sword of Lyonese matches many similar items in other books, The Fleur de Lys Banner needs some rework clearly, how about removes a power dice from the enemy power and dispel pool each turn (it does cost 100 points after all), additionally roll a D6 on a 4+ the Bretonnian player gains +1 in all combat results in the subsequent phase? Works for me, probably filthy!

[/spoiler]

If you haven't got the idea by now, you've really not been trying - OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar has another Special Character on, if you want to check it out click here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37994;topicseen#msg37994 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg37994;topicseen#msg37994)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2011, 08:33:20 am
Update 27 – Monday 19th December 2011: The First Great Trial of Christmas:  The Spirit of Christmas

If you're looking for today's Advent Calendar entry "It's behind you!" or to be less panto-ey and a bit more truthful... it's above you.

In your dim distant past, somewhere probably is the lingering meaning of the true message of Christmas taught to you through copious of use of tinsel and tea towel headdresses in a Nativity play. No matter how hard you try modern society has thoroughly beaten this well taught lesson out of you like an untimely visit from a group of Anti-Gadaffi rebels. Nowadays your vision of Christmas is most likely to be one of the Utopian visions of the festive season created through films, television, popular culture and advertisement.

Advertisements in particular are guilty for giving you a snap shot of the perfect Christmas without any context or setting. The most talked about one this year has to be the John Lewis advert which performs a surprising trick in which a seemingly impatient brat waiting for Christmas is suddenly turned into a darling sweetheart when it turns out he can't wait to give a loving gift to his parents. And thereby telling the true meaning of Christmas – that you're a horrid person if you don't buy your gifts from John Lewis. Obviously we've never seen any context, what if the gift turns out to be a novelty pooing reindeer? That's less magical, what if he's got the wrong size and not asked for a gift receipt? Our angelic Christmas has suddenly collapsed in on itself like a vortex sucking all the magic from our lives with the efficiency of a Dyson Airblade.

Elsewhere in advertising land, Iceland seem to suggest that the perfect Christmas should be spent accompanying Stacey Solomon as vast satellites of party food revolve around her like a giant clockwork planetarium, that provides approximately 5,000 nibbles for a pound, leading you to wonder what exactly is in them, and offers similar nutritional value to eating a lump of Plutonium. Littlewoods advertising has attracted record numbers of complaints, as apparently it carries the hidden subversive message that Father Christmas doesn't exist (clearly a lie children – don't worry), despite the fact that the advert doesn't actually say this. Yet no one has complained about the actual message it does convey which is that if mum is worth her salt she'll buy an horrendous range of overpriced designer tat in order to buy the love of her family and friends and then spend the rest of her life paying for it at an exorbitant rate of interest. A lesson their learnt from the Greek book of fiscal policy. Meanwhile Marks & Spencer, every middle class person's favourite shop, appears to have struck a Luciferian pact with the devil as an ever changing cast of X Factor misanthropes sings the stores' wondrous praise in a effort to convince you to buy a melt in the middle chocolate pudding because that is what Little Mix will be doing this year. And the least said about Bruce Forsyth accidentally wandering onto the set of the Morrisons advert probably the better, he thought it was the Strictly Come Dancing wrap party.

Generally none of these adverts really offend me, I'm used to the usual nausea-inducing assault on the senses that is festive commercials, in fairness it's not that different to the usual nausea-inducing assault on the senses that is commercials during the rest of the year. However I do reserve a certain hatred for one particular style of Christmas advertising. These are the adverts that tell you that unless you buy a specific product not only will you're Christmas be worse off it will actively be awful. Last year I recall a particularly awful example of such an advertising campaign run by a satellite television provider which said that unless you buy their latest channel package your Christmas will be a disaster ending in a massive row that even the family dog will be embroiled in. Said advert also implied that your Christmas would only occur in grey scale and even your decorations wouldn't light up, whereas with their latest package the whole family would be happy and your room would be illuminated in a radiant glow – presumably as the family in question have now freed up enough time from rowing that they can actually turn the light switch on. If only the residents of Albert Square could see this warning from history and the EastEnders Christmas Day special might be a whole lot different.

Pathetically soppy as it may sound whatever your religious persuasion is, Christmas should be out spending time with family, friends and loved ones (apparently loved ones can include friends and family – I'm not really an expert in this field) and celebrating how lucky you are to have them as part of your life. Nice as Christmas Trees, turkeys, bulging sacks of presents, the perfect party spread and a XBox 360 under the tree are, all of these should be sideshows to the true event spending time with those who love you – admittedly that sentiment would put the final nail in the High Street coffin and cause Mary Portas to spontaneously explode covering us all in lured orange hair, but it's important point. Though if you are planning to buy me an XBox 360 or any other gifts/cash amounts please don't be put off they will be gratefully accepted at the usual address. Thank you very much.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 19, 2011, 10:55:02 am
Or you could just note that spending several months being a right grumpy git is far worse than any possible gift could offset so the boy deserves a skelp round the back of the head  regardless (apprently frowned upon these days).

As a slight oddity I exchanged christmas presents with my family last night after I'd had them all (well all the local ones) round for some dinner.  The best thing was we didn't even open the presents.  Everyone could say thank you very much in the safe knowledge that they hadn't yet been disappointed by a novelty christmas jumper or pair of socks.   Plus it was a suitably booze fuled affair so I was sorted and it placated me for the many hours I'd spent slaving in the kitchen in advance of the 3 course meal I had to cook.

Anyway that's festivities over wtih my family for the year, I've now just got a small trip down to my girlfriends family for christmas where I'll have to endure being force fed food and booze until I burst and I'll also be attending a religious ritual in the form of a catholic christmas ceremony.  Something I generally wouldn't do but I'll entertain her family as her mum is quite religious and I'd be sat round their house on my own if I didn't go and I find that a rather scary prospect in case the place somehow blows up and I'm held responsible.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on December 19, 2011, 11:26:05 am
I'm pretty sure that kid has the dogs severed head inside that box... No child should ever be that happy about giving away a present.

Since I have no family this year, I shall be repeating last years exciting three day piss up with some friends in Richmond. There may be some food as well but thats not important.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2011, 02:55:48 pm
Quote from: Dave on December 19, 2011, 10:55:02 am
Or you could just note that spending several months being a right grumpy git is far worse than any possible gift...

For a minute there I thought you were talking about me.

Quote from: Meals on December 19, 2011, 11:26:05 am
I'm pretty sure that kid has the dogs severed head inside that box... No child should ever be that happy about giving away a present.

I have heard that rumour on the internet, when you say the child shouldn't be happy about giving away the dog's head, were you implying that any self respecting child should be keeping that?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 19, 2011, 04:33:43 pm
Poo in bag, I'm just surprised it's not on fire.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2011, 11:22:00 pm
Quote from: Dave on December 19, 2011, 04:33:43 pm
Poo in bag, I'm just surprised it's not on fire.

Is that what you think the child has in the box, or just a general comment on my blog?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 20, 2011, 07:48:12 am
Tuesday 20th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Today's the day where voting opens in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, I know it is very exciting, but first you'll have to read another tedious Advent Calendar entry. Yawn!

[spoiler]
Tuesday 20th: Khatep

Name: Grand Hierophant Khatep – what a name!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1275.jpg)

The astute amongst you will have noticed Khatep is in the brand spanking new Tomb Kings book, but in order to include a wide range of the armies I've had to include some characters who are forgotten because they have no model, even though they have rules!

Original (current) Points Cost: 330 points including the magic items The Liche Staff and the Scroll of the Cursing Word.

Background: Khatep is the most powerful Hierophant (a tall elephant – sorry that joke was improbably lame) in all of Khemri. He woke up Settra in order to stop the all out civil war after Nagash's great ritual. However Settra was grumpy, the snooze button on his alarm had not worked and so Khatep got the blame for not having restored Settra to his former living self. Khatep was exiled to wander the deserts looking for ways to restore Khemri to it's former glory. Often he will help out fighting Tomb Kings' armies.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – 8th Edition (newer than new baby!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1271.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1277.jpg)

Special Rules:  Khatep must be your Hierophant if fielded, he has the Loremaster (Lore of Nehekhara) and Nehekharan Undead special rules. Additionally he has the following magic items The Liche Staff – once per turn Khatep can declare that he wishes to re-roll the casting dice for a single spell (even to stop an irresistible force). Scroll of the Cursing Wind – one use only, instead of dispelling an enemy spell it is cast as normal but the caster must take a Toughness test, if they fail they cannot cast any more spells this turn, if they fail on a 6 they take D3 wounds.

My Memories of the Character: None, he's too new.

Person most Reminds Me Of: One of the oldest men on the planet – Bruce Forsyth (Ok, ok, everyone reminds me or Brucie!)

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Rules are there, just use a Heirophant model, don't be difficult!

[/spoiler]

Head over to The Official OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar for more Special Character fun: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38018;topicseen#msg38018 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38018;topicseen#msg38018)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 20, 2011, 08:05:42 am
Update 28 – Tuesday 20th December 2011: The End is Nigh

If you are looking for today's Advent Calendar entry, it's just above this post!

Welcome back to everyone's favourite painting blog (that happens to be called Procrastination by Numbers anyway). Christmas is very nearly upon us, so there's more to stuff in than will possibly fit in even the largest turkey anus. And very excitingly I will be unveiling The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, a chance for you to vote for the best hobby stuff of 2011. So without further ado let's get on!

Wandsworth Waaagh XII

My High Elves joined Jack's Lizardmen to take on all comers in Saturday's Wandsworth Waaagh XII. I tweeted a pretty comprehensive rundown of each battle on the day – if you want to read it head to @ProByNumbers on Twitter and it should make sense – touch wood.

In summary, it was a good day, we beat Ol & Gareth's Tomb Kings and Beastmen 11-9 (eventually they came second place), lost to Lee & Bart's Orcs & Goblins and Warriors of Chaos 17-3 (fourth placed) and lost to Patrick & Ben's Tomb Kings and Ogres 15-5 (third placed). This placed us 6th out of 8. Pretty rubbish, but could have been worse! Still was all fun. Thanks to all involved, especially Jack for putting up with me!

Here's a few photos from Game 1, I forgot to take any during the other games! D'oh!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1439.jpg)

The Lizardmen and High Elves face off against the Tomb King-Beastmen Alliance

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1440.jpg)

Ol measures the range of the accursed Ushbati Bowmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1441.jpg)

The Tuskgor Chariot thunders into the Phoenix Guard who's Ward Save inflict The Curse of Spanish Television on the camera

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1442.jpg)

All dressed up and no one to fight, the Swordmasters of Hoeth are upset that there's no one for them to attack

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 42

You may still have your Christmas shopping to do, but spare a thought for me I've still got 50 Spearmen to paint in 8 days!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Good news I managed to make good progress over the few bits of the weekend I wasn't busy Christmassing it up large or fighting off various Tomb King alliances in. So I've done Stage 3 – which includes the deeply tedious stage of highlighting every single bloody scale on the Elves's armour. Yes it was boring, but worth it, the last units I did of these I drybrushed the armour and it looks much better this way. Here's where we are up to:

Stage 3 – High Elf Spearmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1425.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1428.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1431.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1433.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Boots: Highlight Beastial Brown
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Armour Trim and Plume: Highlight/Drybrush 1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Wood: Layer watered down Bleached Bone
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh

Whilst there is still a fourth stage to go, the Leather, Silver, Blue and Wood are all finished now so Stage 4 would be quite simple were it not for the bane of all High Elf painters... gems! Yes there's on average about four a model on these so that is 200 gems for me to paint up properly in the next 8 days – oh plus the other 50 on the shields. I've made a reasonable start on Stage 4 so fingers crossed there will be an update in the next few days, ideally the next 8!

Other Painting

I have a confession to make, I snuck into the BBC One Christmas ident filming, and I was the person who threw the giant cracker at the annoying boy from Outnumbered just because I hate him. Ok, ok so that was a lie, my real confession is the far more boring thing that I shirked off from painting my Spearmen this week to finish Korhill, Captain of the White Lions. Yes I'm suffering now because I'm way behind with the Spearmen and should have spent my time working on them, but on the plus side Korhill is finished now:

Stage 2 – Korhill, Captain of the White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers655.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers660.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers665.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Skull: Wash Badab Black, layer Khemri Brown
Boots, Gloves and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Lion Skin: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Hair: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Elf and Lion Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh

Stage 3 – Korhill, Captain of the White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers720.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers725.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers730.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Skull: Layer Dheneb Stone
Boots, Gloves and Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Lion Skin: Layer Desert Yellow
Hair: Highlight Vomit Brown
Elf and Lion Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh

Stage 4 – Korhill, Captain of the White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1463.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1465.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1461.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone and flocked with Static Grass
Rock: Washed Badab Black and Drybrushed Fortress Grey
Skull: Layer Bleached Bone and layered 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Boots, Gloves and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlighted Mithril Silver
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Washed Ogryn Flesh then highlighted Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlighted Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Lion Skin: Highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Highlight Bleached Bone
Elf and Lion Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone

So there's another Special Character finished that no one will ever want to play against, but there we go.

Matty's Top Tip fans may remember that back on the 9th of November I was assembling my White Lion Chariot, and I gave the following Top Tip:



Matty's Top Tip – Number 1
Always assemble painted sub-assemblies with superglue



Which on review appears to be a sentence with the word "assembly" in it far too much. Anyway at the time there was some controversy as to whether this was best practice or not. Well it turns out that the writers of White Dwarf have been copying this blog because they have the following to add on that topic:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1486.jpg)

Oh what's that? "Super Glue is best for this, as it will bond the painted parts nicely". They seem to agree with me! Who knew? Obviously this showing off is completed ruined by the fact that my White Lion Chariot has now fallen apart. In fairness I blame the recent campaign which saw me shoving it in an over-packed army case but there we go.

The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards

The end of December not only means Christmas and that I haven't done enough painting of Spearmen, but it represents the end of the year (2011 for those not keeping up). So in honour of this I thought what better way to celebrate the passing of 2011 than with a special 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, where you dear reader get to vote on the best gaming/procrastinating achievements of the year. I know what you are thinking "I'm more excited than a child molester in Baby Gap how do I get involved?".

Well below you will see ten categories covering pretty much all the kinds of things that we've discussed on this fourm/blog, and a series of suggested nominees. Now I could run all these as online polls, but A) you'd know the result as soon as you voted ruining the prospect of a glittering awards ceremony and B) you couldn't select your own entrants. That's right for each category you can propose something I've missed, and if you think it needs publicity reply on this thread and tell the voting public why.

Once you've decided on who you want to win each category simply PM me with your votes (PLEASE DO NOT REPLY ON THIS THREAD - IT WILL RUIN THE SURPRISE!!), all you need to do is list the category number and next to it who you want to win (leave off any category you don't want to vote for), what could be simpler. It's so simple that all the billions of people who read this blog, whether you usually post or not should vote – I'd love to see my inbox burst with votes.

As no one goes on the forum over the Christmas break, I'll give you a while to vote. So voting closes at Midnight on Sunday the 8th of January and I'll announce the results as part of my exciting review of 2011 at the beginning of next year.

It couldn't be more fun, so without further ado, let's get stuck into the categories:

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011. Whether you're a painter, a gamer, a collector, or someone in between you've probably got excited about the release of a new model this year, and maybe even bought it. So what's the model that's excited you the most? It can be any model or kit that was released in 2011 (though we won't except Citadel Finecast re-releases of existing models, brand new Finecasts are fine). To get you in the mood, here are some of my favourites (purely in alphabetical order):

•   Arachanok Spider – Looking much like me in the morning, only slightly less angry. The first of many giant Warhammer plastic kit has been upsetting Orc & Goblin opponents since March.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1489.jpg)

•   Garden of Morr – Perhaps you want something you can use with your Hornby Model Railway display as well as your gaming table. Was August's graveyard excitement for you?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1490.jpg)

•   Imotekh the Stormlord – unable to get through a metal detector at Heathrow Airport, but maybe one of the smaller models from this November is your choice.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1495.jpg)

•   Mangler Squigs – Giant and orange, but less likely to squash you than Russel Brand. The Mangler Squigs hit the shelves in December.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1499.jpg)

•   Stormraven Gunship – It's big and it's red and it's not Thunderbird 3, it's impossible to move without making "woosh" and "pow, pow" noises. Out in time for Valentine's Day.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1502.jpg)

•   Thundertusk & Stonehorn – more hair than in my bathplug, September's Ogre monstrosity could be your model of 2011.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1507.jpg)

•   Or maybe it was none of these, remember you can nominate any model you like!

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011. A catch all category that contains everything that isn't a model that popped out of the GW forges this year. So games, rule books, accessories, tools... and anything else you can think of fit in here. Here's some suggestions that popped into my head:

•   Codex: Grey Knights – Easter saw everyone reaching for a pot of Mithril Silver as those Daemon hunting Marines got a brand new book (as did the Necrons this year).
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1509.jpg)

•   Dreadfleet – Perhaps Pirate antics in the Warhammer world is exactly what you wanted this year? Perhaps you're the person who actually bought Dreadfleet? Either way October's main release might be for you.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1513.jpg)

•   Liquid Green Stuff – Are you addicted to a very simple, but highly effective pot of Green Goo with more charm than Jeremy Clarkson?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1516.jpg)

•   Uniforms & Heraldry of the Skaven – Way back at the beginning of the year the equivalent of the Ratman version of the Grattan Catalogue popped through every Skaven players door.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1518.jpg)

•   Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – If manipulating people through dodgy Pyramid schemes is your idea of fun, you probably bought yourself the brand new Tomb Kings book (Orcs & Goblins and Ogre Kingdoms also got a look in this year).
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1521.jpg)

•   Warhammer Storm of Magic – Did casting cataclysmic spells, summoning fell beasts or simply spinning the pointy spinner lots get you going back in July? (Blood in the Badlands was another Warhammer supplement this year)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1524.jpg)

•   Or was it something else, remember you can nominate what you like!

Category 3: Best Games System of 2011. What was your favourite game system this year? I've listed the obvious Games Workshop choices here, but feel free to go outside the box, and outside the Games Workshop with your suggestions here:

•   Dreadfleet – Potentially this could win two awards, more awards than copies actually sold, which would be embarrassing.
•   Warhammer 8th Edition – Oft maligned, but maybe you love to hate it? Could the game of Fantasy battles be your choice for 2011?
•   Warhammer 40,000 current edition (don't know the number) – Have you been shooting with your tanks and attacking with your aliens? Do you care about the future?
•   Or is it something else Games Workshop or otherwise. Remember you can vote for any system you fancy.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011. As my ASBO prevents me attending the Tournament scene can't really advise here. I played two tournaments this year, one of which I was partnering Steven so I'll let you guess what my favourite one was  :wink;m::!!

•   Any Tournament you like can go here. Get voting.

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011. Obviously there's no choice here, I am clearly going to be your choice for Best Forum Contributor who else comes close (please read this with a healthy does of sarcasm, else I will sound like a turd). Seriously you can choose anyone from the forum you want, though the only rule is don't vote for yourself.

•   To avoid getting a slap from anyone I don't list here, I'm not listing anyone. So choose your favourite forum contributor here.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011. Who had the Best Painting Blog on the forum this year? Maybe they had the best models, the best painting advice or just some witty charm. In the interests of not wanting to be a knob, you can't vote for any blog I've penned. Sorry but I am that modest.

•   Again I don't want to list my favourites, but why not got to the Da Gallery board and choose your favourites here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011. Who posted up the best painted model this year? Which photograph of a scary monster, magic wizard or mighty tank made you go oooooooooooooo! Again you can vote for whomever you like, but not anything I've painted. That would be wrong (plus I have my own categories to come! He he!!):

•   Mum's the word on my favourites, but Da Gallery is the place to go: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011. Some people may say it's very vain to have my own category which only I can win. Well tough it's my awards ceremony! Besides I need you to tell me what you liked this year so I can make 2012 an even better blog. For this category any update from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or our very own Procrastination by Numbers that I have penned can win. Maybe it's for excellent writing style, brilliant painting advice, witty repertoire, bitter vengeance or a good cock joke – you decide. Here's some of my favourites:

•   The Adventures of Great Bray Shaman Cameron (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 3 onwards – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.240 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.240)). Did the exploits and multiple deaths of Cameron, Clegg, Cable and others (sadly not in real life), make your 2011 perfect?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2118.jpg)

•   The Daily Tale News Report (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 12 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.405 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.405)). Everything the News of the World no longer has, saucy page threes, breaking headlines and utter tosh.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2986.jpg)

•   Guess the Number of Chairs (Procrastination by Numbers Update 9 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.60 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.60)). The worst competition since the GMTV phone-in scandal, but when the prize is Angel Delight how can you refuse?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers261.jpg)

•   High Elf vs Dark Elf Battle Report (Procrastination by Numbers Update 13 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.90 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.90)). Were you impressed with months spent recreating the club's lava board in Microsoft Paint or did you just think get a life?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn1.jpg)

•   Shakeaway Guide (Procrastination by Numbers Update 11 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.75 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.75)). The only step by step guide of how to order a milkshake on the internet, and they say this blog isn't educational.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers053.jpg)

•   Valentine's Hatred (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 7 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.300 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.300)). Mutilated teddies, broken hearts, bitterness and days of therapy may have made February your favourite month for posting.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2334.jpg)

•   Or did you have something else in mind, go for your life? I can't lose! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011. I was worried that you might think I was vain to have one category that I was definitely going to win, so to make it sound better I've got two. You may have missed it in amongst all the procrastination but I have done some painting this year, which was your favourite model? For this category any model or unit I've painted from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or this blog Procrastination by Numbers can win. Here's some of my favourites:

•   Caradryan – the High Elf character who is mute (most players on Saturday's tournament probably wish I had this talent), got painted back in April. Do you like the fiery cloak and blonde hair?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2907.jpg)

•   Dragon Princes – the final unit of the original Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves and certainly an amazing kit, personally I loved the golden helms – so much in fact I've bought another 10!
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3958.jpg)

•   Jabberslythe – not just painted but converted, before Games Workshop made their own one – is this green blob going to get your vote?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3582.jpg)

•   Malagor, the Dark Omen – standing over a pit of lava is always dangerous, but maybe it will win you an award. Does this useless in battle special character warrant your vote?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2939.jpg)

•   Prince on Griffon – he's been shot more times than Colonel Gaddafi, and was casualty of the London Riots, but I think he looks great.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3166.jpg)

•   Tzeentch Sorcerer on Disc – don't touch him, the flying base could collapse at any moment!!
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers273.jpg)

•   Or was it something else?

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011. 2011 may have had winners, but we need to remember the losers too, which was your Model Horriblus of 2011, did it look hideous, was it impossible to paint, or did you cut your finger open assembling it. As with Category 1 any Games Workshop model released this year is eligible, bar Finecast rereleases:

•   I'm going to leave this one wide open to your imagination, so get voting.

VOTE NOW

Those are your ten categories, you are welcome to champion any of your own nominees on this thread but please DO NOT cast your votes by replying on the thread. Instead wack me a PM with the numbers 1-10 and your choices simple as that.

Voting closes at Midnight on Sunday the 8th of January, who will you choose?

Get voting!! Unless you've got 50 Spearmen to paint in which case, get painting!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on December 20, 2011, 11:11:55 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on December 20, 2011, 08:05:42 am
I played two tournaments this year, one of which I was partnering Steven so I'll let you guess what my favourite one was  :wink;m::!!

Does our tournament win by default? My favourite kind of win (the only kind we're likely to get in doubles, judging by our placing!)

Quote from: cunningmatt on December 20, 2011, 08:05:42 am
Here's a few photos from Game 1, I forgot to take any during the other games! D'oh!

It's a shame you didn't get a picture of Bart's 50-odd night goblins falling off the temple of skulls in game 2. I think that was the funniest moment of the day! (sorry Bart!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 20, 2011, 01:33:39 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on December 20, 2011, 11:11:55 am
Does our tournament win by default? My favourite kind of win (the only kind we're likely to get in doubles, judging by our placing!)

Only if no one else votes for anything. That eventuality is already an impossibility!  :thumbsup:

Quote from: jackhoneysett on December 20, 2011, 11:11:55 am
It's a shame you didn't get a picture of Bart's 50-odd night goblins falling off the temple of skulls in game 2. I think that was the funniest moment of the day! (sorry Bart!)

I have to say that was very amusing, and much more amusing than when all my Swordmasters consistently slid off their movement tray!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: bart on December 21, 2011, 12:30:59 am
It was rather funny. I laughed.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 21, 2011, 07:36:39 am
Wednesday 21st December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Make sure you get your votes in for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, check Update 28 for more details – and yes I will keep harassing you until you do it, so you might as well do it now!!

Here's Day 21:

[spoiler]
Wednesday 21st: King Alrik Ranulfsson

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1037.jpg)
Maybe I should get round to opening and assembling this model sometime?

Name: King Alrik Ranulfsson

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1044.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 425 points, including magic and runic items.

Background: King Alrik Ranulfsson is King of Karak-Hirn after his great grandfather founded the city following the great quakes. Being a member of the Green Party his army does not include any of the modern polluting war machines such as Gyrocopters and Flame Cannons. In the current Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs book he is listed as having cleared the Silver Road of Goblins and attacking Mount Gunbad during the Storm of Chaos, but since current Warhammer history tends to ignore the Storm of Chaos we can presume that never happened.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 6th Edition (first release), model released White Dwarf 255 (March 2001).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1020.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1052.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 6th Edition (first release), though mentioned in the background of Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 6th Edition (second / current release).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1022.jpg)

Special Rules: King Alrik Ranulfsson has just a couple special rules. In Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 6th Edition (first release) King Alrik Ranulfsson was the first to ride on Shield Bearers, which boosted the range of units that could use his leadership to 18". Alrik must lead your army and Gyrocopters, Organ Guns and Flame Cannons cost twice the points and you must have more crossbow armed Dwarfs than handgun armed Dwarfs. Alrik has a number of magic items: The Axe of Retribution is inscribed with the Grudge Rune – wielder can nominate one monster/character at beginning of battle and may reroll misses in close combat against this target, the Master Rune of Breaking if Alrik hits a combatant with a magic weapon, the weapon is destroyed. Hrappi-klad Armour confers a 4+ Armour Save and is inscribed with the Rune of Shielding 2+ Ward Save against shooting attacks. Kurgaz's Shield gives Alrik and shield bearers a 5+ Ward Save. Helm of Eagles at the beginning of each Dwarf turn nominate one enemy unit who must reveal all magic items and hidden troop types. King-Hirn's Book of Grudges all enemy units within 12" may re-roll failed break tests. Well done if you've remembered all that.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1050.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1046.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1047.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1048.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I wasn't really playing Warhammer during the 6th edition, so I don't really have many memories of those. Though I do remember seeing the model on my return and being intrigued/impressed.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Someone who's carried wherever they go, how about Lauren Laverne on 10 o'Clock Live*

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The model is still available from the Games Workshop website, listed as King Alrik Ranulfsson, but more often used as a Lord on Shield Bearers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1058.jpg)

Special rules-wise you'd need a lot of runes to make Alrik like he is listed above. The Grudge Rune and the Master Rune of Breaking still exist to make the Axe of Retribution, Gromril Armour with the Rune of Shielding and two Runes of Iron gives the same defensive bonuses as the armour and shield. The other runic items and the special rules don't have direct equivalents in the book. But most of the rules probably carry across, let's cost them at 84 points, because it's a nice number.

*poor Lauren I actually quite like her really.

[/spoiler]

You know what the drill is, over on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar there's another Special Character, if you want to check it out click here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38050;topicseen#msg38050 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38050;topicseen#msg38050)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 21, 2011, 07:52:12 am
Update 29 – Wednesday 21st December 2011: The Second Great Trial of Christmas: Christmas Shopping

If you're looking for today's Advent Calendar it's up above. I should at this point confess that the following entry is a repeat (well it is Christmas and all the big channels do it) – I was going to write a rant about Christmas shopping, and then released I probably couldn't top last year's so here's a revised repeat (I have actually updated it!) on that very subject. Enjoy.

Before embarking on Christmas shopping you need to decide which of the three basic routes you wish to adopt:

1. The Gift Voucher Option - Gift Vouchers, or for the more modern amongst you Gift Cards, are where you have your perfectly useful cash in the form of pounds sterling, that can be spent in any store with very limited restrictions. You take this cash into a store of your choosing and swap it for a new form of cash that can only be spent in that store, and must be spent within 24 months of being converted, cannot be used in conjunction with any special offer, and can never be converted into any other form of cash no matter how hard you try. Put like this it makes perfect sense. The good news about this major inconvenience you can inflict upon your friends and family is that it's very easy to wrap. The main problem with this option is if, like me, somewhere back in late October-early November you had a Utopian vision of the perfect Christmas in which family and friends opened up the perfect, well-thought out presents you'd got them, Gift Vouchers probably didn't feature. They represent virtually zero effort!

2. The Online Shopping Option. Online shopping is the future apparently, you go online and find your loved ones the perfect gifts, or after two hours of looking through the Boots website you go "sod it" and get them a set of toiletries. After several attempts to attempt to pay for these goods using your credit card, they are eventually dispatched to you, and it's at this point you realise the estimated delivery date is April. At some point these will be attempted to be delivered to your house, when a card will be popped through the door telling you, that you were "out when we came to deliver the package", even though you were in – because you have no social life. You'll then be given the option to go and collect the package from your "local" depot, usually somewhere in Crawley, or for a small fee of £5 you can have them redelivered to your nearest store for collection, thusly removing the entire point of collecting online in the first place other than to pay an exorbitant postage & packing fee. Given my flat doesn't have a letter box (for complicated reasons), it represents Fort Knox to the postman and thus online ordering is not for me.

3. In Store Shopping Option. Having exhausted all the above options I am left with the last resort, of actually going into a shop and purchasing goods in person. May god have mercy upon my soul.

So a couple of times over the last few weeks I headed to Westfield in London, the original one, not the "Stratford City" one – since when has Stratford been a city?:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1106.jpg)

Apologies for the lack of focus, my hands were shaking as I was having a fit before entering the store!

Here's more proof, I should point out it's 3pm in the afternoon not the dead of night as implied in this photo:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1105.jpg)

I was particularly excited about my trip to Westfield, because two years ago I went Christmas shopping there and was refused a free sample of alcohol in Marks & Spencer because I looked too young. Result!!! That wasn't just a boost to my ego, that was an M&S boost to my ego!

If you believe the news reports, then if you do decide to go shopping in real shops rather than online, you should be walking into a ghost town, with shop keepers begging you, the only shopper in sight, to purchase their wares – this is a lie. For the purposes of December Westfield has been twinned with Purgatory and represents the second busiest place you can go shopping in Central London, unfortunately to get there I have to change tubes at Oxford Circus, the first busiest place you can go shopping in Central London. Surprisingly enough this didn't go well, and so I have put together a list of the 10 most frustrating things about my Christmas shopping experience, in the hope that this will give you some insight and tips and allow you to avoid the pitfalls I've succumbed to. At the very least it will allow me to vent my rage and get these things off my chest.

1. Bags. Invariably you will want to do all your Christmas shopping in one go to avoid countless trips to hell and back, which means at some point you will end up with thousands of carrier bags. What you certainly don't want is your bloody carrier bag to split:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1121.jpg)

This results in countless stops as you slump in the fire exit of a store, whilst you rearrange all your shopping like some decrepit bag lady. Then you have to go into Next and demand that they give you 8 extra large carrier bags, even though you've only bought a box of cufflinks, to re-triple bag your shopping before all your bags explode all over Westfield in a shit, very unfunny version of Buckaroo. And let's be honest Buckaroo wasn't fun to start with.

2. Picky Relatives. Some relatives can be picky, I shan't name names just in case they are reading, but they lay down ground rules for getting them Christmas gifts: No clothes (I have no room in my wardrobe), no toiletries (the bathroom is full), no food (I'm on a diet), no gift vouchers (they're not personal enough), no alcohol (I'm a recovering alcoholic and it would be inappropriate) – that last one might be a lie. Then when you ask what you can get them they say "Oh don't worry you don't need to get me anything". Fine I won't. That approach should go down about as well as a Christmas card from Wikileaks at the White House. So instead for the sake of peace I navigate Westfield for all eternity (or the time it takes Louis Walsh to answer the question "In one word who do you want to send home from The X Factor tonight?" – depending on your chosen measurement of time), looking for a gift that like Piers Morgan's charisma doesn't actually exist. Best I could find is a reindeer that pooes chocolate covered raisins – any good?

3. People. Christmas shopping would be bearable if it weren't for the fact that other people are there. Apparently it's too much to ask for Westfield to be cleared for my visit, because all these other selfish people are busy buying gifts for their loved ones – gits. The main problem is stores are generally crammed full of much merchandise as physically possible. They are usually laid out such that one medium wasted person can easily pass up and down an isle, this as a policy fails when you try to pass down the aisle with 84 bags of shopping whilst coming the other way is a woman armed with a double buggy and an arse the size of a badly parked Vauxhall Vectra.

4. Buying for Yourself. The fatal pitfall of Christmas shopping is buying for yourself, understandable when everyone else is so difficult to get for, but still you must resist that pair of jeans, DVD, computer games console or new car, particularly as undoubted if you do get it, someone will have already got that exact same thing for you for Christmas (probably not the car). As a rule of thumb if you've bought yourself an entirely new wardrobe, and all you've bought for other people is one packet of gift tags – then that shopping trip is generally not considered to be "Christmas shopping" and is in fact known as "shopping".

5. Sunday Closing. Many years ago when I was young, sometime around the Bronze Age, Sunday opening was very rare. You had to go a big town to find shops that opened on a Sunday and then it was only big department stores. Now everywhere is open on a Sunday regardless of whether you want it to be or not, and as society we now can't live without it. Hence my annoyance that one store is Westfield proclaims itself to be "Keeping Sunday Special" by not opening an Sundays, this is not helpful, I have come shopping on Sunday because I work during the week. What about "Keep Wednesday Special"? I've never got time to go shopping on a Wednesday, its Frozen Planet night after all (aren't he penguins sweet?). Moral high grounds are all good, but don't let them inconvenience me.

6. Decorations. Shopping centres and town centres at this time of you attempt to display a selection of festive decorations in order to calm you down and make you feel festive during the shopping period. For example:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1107.jpg)

As you can see Westfield have gone for decorating their trees such that they appear to have survived the aftermath of Chernobyl, this is not making me cheerful. Quite frankly given that I'm so stressed during shopping that even the presence of scantly clad models handing out vodka and crisp fifty pound notes would probably do nothing to calm my nerves, you can imagine how I feel about snowman suspended from the ceiling like Russel Grant on Strictly Come Dancing. Not calming at all.

7. Christmas Music. I would say my tolerance for Christmas music is higher than most, I am in fact listening to some now as I rant about my shopping experience. Though one particular year when I spent October having a Pizza Hut[/i] meal with a friend and was forced to listen to the same Christmas CD on loop for two hours, I did have a different opinion to Christmas music. However, the general rule is, it's all about appropriateness. It wouldn't have been appropriate to begin the allied Shock & Awe assault on Baghdad to the soundtrack of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. Similarly the sound of children screaming, valuable crockery smashing, and people rowing in Westfield is not best rounded off by a rendition of Cliff Richard's Mistletoe & Wine.

8. Receipts. Over recent years I have noticed a disturbing trend to receipts, they either handed to you with a pile of paperwork consisting of a series of vouchers that I don't want – do I look like I want half price children's books or £5 off my next No. 7 purchase? I don't think so. Alternatively they are printed on ridiculously long pieces of paper, recently I went to Hamleys to buy some toys – no I've not become a paedophile, they were comedy gifts for a friend! I only purchased two items, but because of the promotional blurb and an offer for money off at Leeds Castle printed at the bottom of the receipt, I was a presented with a receipt that was a foot long – genuinely I measured it (god I need to get a partner, my life is dull). What if I had children and bought a stocking full of toys? I'd probably have been presented with a receipt long enough to embalm myself in, or at the very least form a noose and end it all – which in fairness in Hamleys at Christmas time may be the only option. The upshot of all this is my wallet is now filled with enough receipts and money off vouchers that I could beat a whale to death with it, it's thicker than the Argos catalogue – although not quite as thick as an Argos employee. And the one solitary fiver in there has spontaneously combusted due to being compacted in with so much paper.

9. Shops that make you Queue Outside. At Westfield there is a number of desirable designer shops that wish to make them seem more aspirational than they really are, to this end they make people queue up outside in a roped off area. I'm sorry but f**k off, you aren't the log flume at Chessington World of Adventures, why on earth do you think I'd want to queue up to see all the things I can't afford in the shop that you don't have in my size. I think you'll find I'll be doing my Christmas shopping in good old unfashionable M&S where everyone is welcome. Admittedly everyone will think their gifts are unfashionable, but at least they'll stop being my friends and I won't have to go Christmas shopping for them ever again.

10. Shop Assistants. Now I have been a shop assistant, in fact pretty much all my after dinner anecdotes are based at my time working in a shop. So I do know the pressure some shop assistants are under, and many of them are very good. However many of them complete troglodytes, shambling around the store like a disembodied Margaret Beckett. Case in point, I spent thirty minutes in Boots, the world's most impossible store to navigate (every aisle's bloody bottles and no matter how they label the aisle I still don't know where to look for what I want). This half an hour consisted of me being sent repeatedly upstairs and downstairs by different shop assistants who themselves hadn't a clue where the item I wanted was. Still it's better than in shoe shops. Typically there's no one to serve you at all, so you grab the one shoe on display then wander round like sodding Prince Charming looking for Cinderella to see if she's got the other crystal slipper in a size 11. Which results in them just nipping out to the stock room, which judging by the time it takes them must be located on the dark side of the Moon. They then finally return to say they don't have a size 11, but they do have a size 6 would that be any help? Only if I wanted to wear them on my hands you idiot!!

11. Inappropriate Drinks. To ease the pain of Westfield shopping I arranged to meet a friend at Costa for a drink and a chat / moan about our tedious lives. Feeling rather festive I decided to order a Frosted Mint Hot Chocolate – how something can be Frosted and Hot at the same time I'm not quite sure, but it was on the Christmas menu nonetheless. I was then asked if I wanted chocolate sprinkles on it, to which I said yes and then was presented with this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog1101.jpg)

I'm sorry what the bloody hell is this?! As a terminally single man, I don't want to be presented with a beverage that's had more romantic existence than me. Why not just rub it in and present me with a chocolate muffin shagging an apple turnover, or a cheese and ham baguette surrounded by hundreds of other cheese and ham baguettes having a wonderful birthday. F**k you! It is not helping, it ranks up there with people snogging on the escalators of the London Underground, don't do it I will push you to your deaths – you have been warned.

12. People who claim to have a Top 10 of things to rant about, but get carried away... Yeah alright sorry, I got carried away. I am off to have a lie down and some strong medication, hope this guide proves of some use or failing that you ostracise all your friends and family in the next 12 days and don't bother. If only.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 21, 2011, 01:16:26 pm
Nominations sent, love the categories....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 21, 2011, 02:46:45 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on December 21, 2011, 01:16:26 pm
Nominations sent, love the categories....

Many thanks. Keep them coming in guys!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 22, 2011, 01:16:12 pm
Thursday 22nd December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Thanks for all the votes in for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards so far, please keep them, coming!! Here's Day 22:

[spoiler]
Thursday 22nd: The Knight of the Perilous Lance

Name: The Knight of the Perilous Lance

Original Points Cost: 121 points.

Background: The Knight of the Perilous Lance is very shy, even refusing to appear on this year's Celebrity Big Brother. No one even knows his name, so he is called the "Knight of the Perilous Lance" at tournaments – presumably because there's already someone called Dave.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition, no model released.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1101.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

Special Rules: The Knight of the Perilous Lance has no magic items, but the following special rules which seem to be entitled much like magic items. The Perilous Lance – enemy at a -1 armour save from wounds inflicted by The Knight of the Perilous Lance. The Parrying Shield – The Knight of the Perilous Lance may reroll any failed armour saves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1105.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Despite having virtually no background, unremarkable special rules, no model and being a footnote in amongst a veritable feast of special characters in Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition (15,000 at last count), The Knight of the Perilous Lance sticks out for me, maybe because he's the only character without some French in his name.

Person most Reminds Me Of: Any of this year's The X Factor contestants, as I really couldn't tell you their names.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His special rules are so bland, that they copy into any edition of Warhammer, admittedly he's not a very good character but he's quite cheap so maybe worth inclusion. You'd need a knight model to represent him, with no details listed for him (as he's unknown) any knight model would do. Here's the one I've chosen.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1109.jpg)

[/spoiler]

You know what the drill is, over on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar there's another Special Character, if you want to check it out click here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38171;topicseen#msg38171 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38171;topicseen#msg38171)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 23, 2011, 08:27:42 am
Friday 23rd December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Remember people died for the vote, it would be disrespectful not to use it – so vote now for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards.

Here's Day 23:

[spoiler]
Friday 23rd: Lothlann the Brave

Name: Lothlann the Brave, Battle Standard Bearer

Original Points Cost: 158 points (including Standard of Athel Loren)

Background: Lothlann earned his nickname "the Brave" when he picked up the battle banner from the slain Athryn the Strong in the Battle of the Creaking Yew. He then rode into battle leading an inspiring charge against the Skaven who were then hunted out from Athel Loren. Since then Lothlann joined Rentokil and was presented with The Battle Standard Bearer of Athel Loren a magical banner woven from the hair of countless Elven maidens, which undoubtedly stank and was infested with nits.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves - 4th Edition, no model released.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1061.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves - 4th Edition

Special Rules: Lothlann has no special rules himself (other than being the Battle Standard Bearer). He bares the The Battle Standard of Athel Loren, any spell targeted (or template that drifts) within 12" of the banner (doesn't say just enemy player's spells), "fizzles out" on a D6 roll of 5+ (I think "fizzles out" means "is dispelled").

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1064.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: None. I never had Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves - 4th Edition at the time of release (I bought it recently on ebay for the bargain price of £4 simply for this feature, aren't I good to you?). And as he was never released or featured in White Dwarf, I never knew of him.

Person most Reminds Me Of: A flag waving tit from Last Night of the Proms

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Go for it! There are similar magic items/special abilities out there (such as Morghur's immunity to spells), perhaps overprized if we say it includes both friendly and enemy spells. You'll need a model, you could use this Battle Standard available on the Games Workshop website...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1131.jpg)

...although he is supposed to be riding an Elven steed. Conversion work or get rid of the horse. Hmmmm... get rid of the horse would be a lot easier!

[/spoiler]

More special character fun over on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar? Click here now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38191;topicseen#msg38191 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38191;topicseen#msg38191)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 23, 2011, 09:07:06 am
Update 30 – Friday 23rd December 2011: The Third Great Trial of Christmas: Friends & Family

If you are looking for today's Advent Calendar entry, it's just above this post!

Here's my third and final moan about all the nice things about Christmas in an attempt to ruin the festive season for all.

The problem with Christmas is in a sense the whole point of it; you have to spend it with family and friends. Admittedly a Christmas spent on your own would be about as much fun as spending the festive season in the Fritzel's basement, but at least there wouldn't be the rows, awkwardness and general problems always associated with interacting with other people which are compounded during the holiday season.

Now before you get deeply offended early on in the post (there'll be plenty of time for that later), I want to say I love my friends and family – as much as my bitter and twisted cold heart will allow for anyway. But the problem is everyone has a different vision of what Christmas should be, from the full on Victorian traditional feast with the million friends and family around sharing well-thought gifts and cards over the ultimate meal, to a quiet one with only your closest, to avoiding every relative at all cost, like they were street based charity workers. If everyone had a same standard idea of what Christmas should be, at least we'd all know the bench mark.

Christmas Cards seem like such a simple idea, a brief message to say Merry Christmas in a card posted to a loved one. But nowadays do you bother? And if you do bother, who do you leave on or off the Christmas card list? It's a bit like a dry run for organising your wedding (were that ever to be likely – in my case I think this would be wasted practice), admittedly with smaller ramifications but still... if you send a card to one friend why aren't you sending a card to all your friends. It may seem like a small thing, but generally most friends don't like to find out that they've been segregated into a sub-friendship group within the rest of your friends, it's not considered polite. Cards sent around the office are even more problematic, as there's a lot more of an obvious opportunity to compare who received a card and who didn't, in a small office you can probably manage everyone but in a large office the line has to be drawn somewhere unless you want to spend December operating like a 17th century printing press. And then of course there's the awkward moment when you receive a card from someone who you haven't sent a card to, uh-oh potential festive disaster (unless you don't give a toss!), especially if it's now past the last posting date for Christmas, or you've run out of cards in your festive box consisting of 24 cards consisting of 4 designs – I mean I probably should send them a card, but it's not worth rushing out to buy a new box.

If you think card giving for friends is tricky, consider how this problem is magnified within the realm of present buying. Whilst your said friend may not be that concerned if they've missed out on a well thought, but essentially cheap card, they may when actual cash value presents are taken into account start to get a bit miffed. But say a special friend has done something nice for you this year and so you want to thank them for it. Well do you need to buy every mutual friend, that you and the original friend share, gifts as well for fear of offending them? And then where does it stop? Sufficient extension of this logic results in the nightmare scenario where you end up having to get every person you've ever met a gift and that can be expensive, even for the socially retarded. The potential for absolute awkwardness for me doesn't end there, because what if you receive a present from someone you haven't actually got a return present for? Are they expecting something back? Will they be offended if you haven't got them anything? Are you supposed to rush out and get them something at the last possible moment?

In some ways worse than this can be the potential for gift mismatch, this is where you've both bought each other gifts but one person has way out spent the other. If you receive a luxury designer watch costing around £300, and in return you've got them a chocolate Santa and a soap in the shape of a reindeer, you can feel a little uncomfortable. Even worse because you've got them something, you can't play the "sorry I haven't had a chance to get you a present yet" card.

Still at least with friends you can shop in nice shops, after all they're likely to have similar interests and be a similar age to you. Whereas this luxury is not often afforded with family members, in the case of friends you can shop in nice clothes shops or look for fun music and DVDs. However involve family members and you'll be soon trawling through shops you feel about as comfortable at as a South Korean who is accidentally stumbled into Kim Jong-il's funeral service. Before you know it'll you'll be groping your way blindly through places you'd never normally go cross-stitch shops, Fishing Accessory World and worst Edinburgh Wool Mill.

The family gift buying trauma is also compounded by the fact that as you know family better you know what they'll do with your gift – more to the point if you buy them tat you know they are going to put it in the bin. You can pretend your friend will keep that awful Wall-mounted Singing Mackerel you found in the junk shop, your mother will not and you know it. You're going to have to get something thoughtful. Worse still my parents make rules on what I can and cannot buy them – no clothes as no room in the wardrobe, no toiletries as they never get used, no food as they're on a diet, and nothing that will take up any space as the house is full of junk. I mean what can you get them, a gift-wrapped skip for them to empty the spare room into?! Then you ask them what they would like and they reply "I don't really know" – well if they don't really know, what chance do I have. Instead I end up plodding up and down the high street so much the shop assistant in Boots thinks I'm stalking her just for her clubcard points.

To make matters worse, 10 years ago I foolishly suggested that wouldn't it make a nice change to use Make Your Own Crackers – these are crackers where you buy them unassembled and purchase your own gift to place inside. An ideal way to avoid the usual awful crap they put in crackers, which they might as well send straight to landfill now and save us all wasting 2 seconds of our life doing it. Anyway at the time the cracker idea seemed like a good one, but now it's been adopted as a family tradition this means having to hunt down another set of family presents obeying all the above rules but being small enough to fit within the inside of a cracker. Why did I ever suggest such a disastrous idea in the first place? Now a decade later I'm wandering through stores with a tape measure trying to see if gifts will fit in a cracker, desperately resisting the urge to form the bloody thing into a noose and end it all there.

The other problem with family, bar the rows and having to spend time with them – things I'll gloss over because surprisingly I actually get on with my family and so have nothing to add on this subject (An optimistic note?! Who'd have thought, well it is Christmas). Any how, the other problem with family is that they have a bizarre set of traditions that they insist you adhere to, being sent out to buy two jars of pickled onions and a Christmas table cloth on Christmas Eve because "otherwise Christmas will be ruined" I feel may be taking festive preparations a little too far. In fact let's sod the whole thing and have fish fingers and chips?! What do you reckon? Who could be unhappy with that?

Onto other things that people can be unhappy with, it's my Spearmen painting progress.

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 45

There's some good news here, and there's some bad news. The good news is a Herculian effort over the weekend this week has got the end of the Spearmen in sight. The bad news is although I have 5 days to deadline, I am not going to get anything done over Christmas (family – see above), so tomorrow really is the final day of painting. Dur dur durrrrrrhhhh.

I've done all the main painting for Stage 4, the final stage, now. So all I need to get done today and tomorrow is gems (there's a lot of these), eyes (fiddly), flocking bases (messy) and a general tidy up – looking at them as I'm finishing there's odd flicks of rogue paint or bits that are still black as got missed in the first coat. Oh and the small matter of a banner!!! Nothing horrendous (bar the banner), but a bit time consuming, so fingers firmly crossed. Here's the current painting guide:

Stage 4a – High Elf Spearmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1468.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1475.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1477.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1480.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Boots: *NO CHANGE*
White Cloth: Layer Skull White
Armour Trim and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone

Fingers crossed for tomorrow!!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 24, 2011, 12:07:19 pm
And an early christmas present for you, something I found in bath.

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/c34dd870.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 24, 2011, 03:52:03 pm
Saturday 24th December 2011 – Procrastination by Numbers Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Quote from: Dave on December 24, 2011, 12:07:19 pm
And an early christmas present for you, something I found in bath.

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/c34dd870.jpg)

Thank you so much Dave, very kind of you! Hope you enjoy your Christmas Shakeaway I look forward to picking up the one you undoubtedly got for me shortly!

This ladies and gentlemen is it, yep the final day in the Advent Calendar, I hope you've enjoyed this brand new set of old characters if that makes sense?! And what special choice have I picked for the final day? None in particular they were randomly assigned!!

Here's the final day, Day 24:

[spoiler]
Saturday 24th: Dechala

Name: Dechala, the Denied One

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1195.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 355 points including the magic item Elixir of Damnation and the Chaos reward Many Arms.

Background: Dechala's origins are unknown, though legend as it she was once a High Elf Princess. Dechala has mutated beyond recognition sporting a tail and six arms. Dancing in combat her cha-cha-cha distracts the enemy turning them into her slave, whilst she herself craves nothing other than escape from all shackles of order. Once wounded by a Champion of Khorne she bares a scar on her face and a grudge the size of Croydon.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1178.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1199.jpg)

Special Rules: Dechala bears a Mark of Slaanesh and hates all those with a Mark of Khorne, or Khorne Daemons. She may not be included in your army if you include any Khornate characters, units or Daemons. At the beginning of the turn Dechala may pick one of the following dances to do until the start of your next turn The Praise of Slaanesh enemy suffer -1 to hit Dechala in shooting and hand-to-hand combat, Dance of Destruction Dechala is at +1 to hit in combat, Daggerdance Dechala may completely block up to three attacks from her opponents, at the beginning of the combat phase select how many attacks she would like to block and from which model(s) (in base-to-base contact) she wishes to block. Each block costs Dechala two of her own attacks. Elixir of Damnation any model that suffers an unsaved wound, but is not killed, by Dechala may never attack in combat, shoot at or cast a spell against Dechala for the rest of the game – Daemons and Undead models are unaffected. Many Arms Dechala gains +1A.

My Memories of the Character: When I returned to Warhammer in 7th edition I found her model on the Games Workshop website and couldn't work out where she came from or whether she was a Warriors or Daemons character (she is a Warriors character).

Person most Reminds Me Of: Theresa May, like any women her multiple arms make her an excellent multi-tasker, but her barbarous tail and hatred of anyone with red affiliation makes her perfect candidate for the current Home Secretary.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Her model is still available:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1304.jpg)

Although she does feel a lot like the Daemons of Chaos character the Masque of Slaanesh. Most of her rules still feel applicable, though the Elixir of Damnation is evil allowing her to lock characters in combat and prevent them attacking her – though as most characters are fielding in units these days (including Dechala – I imagine) this would probably be less horrendous as other attacks could decide combat resolution and free trapped characters!

[/spoiler]

Of course there's another final character over on the OG Games 2011 Advent Calendar. Click here now: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38226;topicseen#msg38226 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2697.msg38226;topicseen#msg38226)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 24, 2011, 03:53:57 pm
Update 31 – Saturday 24th December 2011: Merry Christmas

If you are looking for the final Advent Calendar entry, it's just above this post!

Yesterday I mentioned that given Christmas today is the last day to finish painting my Spearmen by, and how did I do...

50 Spearmen in 50 Days – Day 46

Well by completely ignoring the fact that my parents are en route to my house as we speak and could arrive in the next 15 minutes (literally!!!), and not doing any tidying or cleaning for their arrival I finished them just!! Even though this is a completely arbitrary deadline I set myself!!

Admittedly I did have to make a last minute visit to Games Workshop to pick up a new Fine Detail Brush (eyes are difficult with a brush with one hair on!!) and some Bleached Bone (need that colour for everything):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1529.jpg)

Oh no! How did the new Citadel Finecast Tyrion get into my shopping basket? For gods sake you turn your back for five minutes!

Well first up I finished off the 50 shields:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1539.jpg)

These we done using my usual colour scheme for the white, yellow and gold (no time to write them up parents coming!) with a blue central gem.

I also did the banners, rather frustratingly when in a hurry the Spearmen units have two banners:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1533.jpg)

These were painted using my trademark grid system to copy the symbol on the shields from the High Elf book. However copying geometric shapes can be particularly tricky, so I made sure to plot out the design in stages, using radial lines from the centre of the shield each point of the star. I then drew in each vertex (posh word for corner) that make up the rest of the design before drawing the lines to make the finished star. Then it was a simple case of filling in the colour.

So with banners and shields done, we were ready for assembly:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1548.jpg)

And here's the finished unit, yes finished!:

Stage 4b – High Elf Spearmen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1562.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1565.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1567.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1550.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1555.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1559.jpg)

Wow I didn't think I'd do it but there we go!!

So now fear me enemy players, because no one will ever win a game against me, primarily as it will take 2 hours to deploy this unit and the game will never get finished but there we go! Though I suspect I shouldn't field this unit until I've made a movement tray, that will annoy even the most patient of opponents!

With that, that's pretty much it for this year. I'll be back blogging in the New Year and allowing you to procrastinate during your working day, with my review of the year, New Year's resolutions update (how did I do for 2011 – awful probably) and The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, if you do get a chance to vote between Christmas and the New Year I would be very, very grateful – we've had a numbers votes in already with some amazing suggestions I hadn't even thought off so please keep PMing them to me. Remember here are the categories:

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011.

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011.

Category 3: Best Games System of 2011.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011.

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011.

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011.

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011.

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011.

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011.

Full details and rules for each category in Update 28.

All that remains for me to say is sorry I haven't had a chance to proof read or spell check this post!! And thank you sooooooooooooooo much for reading, I know it's sometimes a long task but it is appreciated, and particular thanks to those who send in comments they really, really help! Have an absolutely wonderful Christmas and the best 2012 you can imagine!

Ding Dong! What's that parents here? Best go, bye!!

Matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on December 29, 2011, 01:32:02 pm
A Great result there buddy, look forward to seeing that unit in action....

And another great advent calendar there, thank you sir... :thumbsup:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 29, 2011, 05:41:12 pm
Spearmen are looking good, nice turnaround time too.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 31, 2011, 06:51:15 pm
Cheers guys. Glad you enjoyed the calendar Ol.

Looking forward to sending my 50 Spearmen into battle, need that movement tray first! Hopefully sort though over the remnants of the festive period. Probably could have painted those Spearmen quicker without the run up to Christmas, will be that in mind if I do another 50 Days... Challenge.

Happy New Year to all. And if I can plead again for votes for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, they would be most appreciated. Currently we don't have enough for a glittering award ceremony  :cry: :cry: :cry:. Have a great one whatever you're doing! See you in 2012!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 03, 2012, 10:21:48 pm
Eek, being off work has prevented me from finding time to vote, might not get a chance until next week if work is crazy as expected.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 04, 2012, 08:48:15 am
Quote from: Dave on January 03, 2012, 10:21:48 pm
Eek, being off work has prevented me from finding time to vote, might not get a chance until next week if work is crazy as expected.

Don't worry between you and me, I may have to extend the deadline as we haven't had many votes yet. Perhaps now everyone's back at the work with minimum quotas of procrastination to fill people may get round to it!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on January 06, 2012, 06:42:34 pm
additions to last nights votes:
Favourite Model on your Blog: Prince Althran on Foot
Worst GW Model of 2011 : Daemons of Chaos Herald of Tzeentch on Disc
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 08, 2012, 03:23:24 pm
Quote from: Garzini on January 06, 2012, 06:42:34 pm
additions to last nights votes:
Favourite Model on your Blog: Prince Althran on Foot
Worst GW Model of 2011 : Daemons of Chaos Herald of Tzeentch on Disc

Many thanks!

If you haven't voted yet, I've extended the deadline until the end of Friday 13th of January (un-oh), to let you get them in. Looking at the votes as they stand we have a number of very closely fought categories with surprising leaders so your votes really do count. Except that they don't as this is all meaningless, but gloss over that and get involved in the fun!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 09, 2012, 08:41:20 am
Update 32 – Monday 9th January 2012: If 2011 had been voted off The X Factor... Part 1

Welcome back to Procrastination by Numbers back after the Christmas break. Now first up I have a little announcement to make, could the person who got drunk last week at the club and decided to leave by bus please not do it again as Sainsbury's aren't very happy:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-16460272 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-16460272)

All this we are gearing up for next week's glittering 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards Ceremony as we'll be looking back at the highs and lows of 2011. And as we do I remind you there's still time to vote for the awards. All you need to do is copy and paste this red bit of text into a PM to me, with your votes and send it over by midnight on Friday 13th of January (our extended closing date):

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011

Category 3: Best Games System of 201

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

So if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for a bribe from the Russian Football Association? All your votes are very gratefully appreciated and will make a big difference. Alternatively I will be along at the club tonight for you to hand your votes into in person. Now on with the 2011 look back.

As you've probably noticed by now its 2012, and as is customary I've written an exciting review of 2011 for us to reminisce over. Now traditionally reviews of the year are written before the end of the year, but by saving my review until 2012 I won't have missed out on any last minute events that occurred of those final days of 2011 – I mean if the world had ended on the 30th of December 2011 what a fool I'd have looked with this incomplete review of the year. Secondly and most importantly publishing in 2012 gives me an opportunity to look at everyone else's reviews of the year to save me having to rely on my increasingly erratic memory or doing any proper research.

2011 was a bumper year full of more events than you can think of, the months literally whizzed by with your calendar pages turning faster than Aleisha Dixon at the sight of Simon Cowell's cheque book. I've broken the year down into 12 nice convenient chunks which I've called months, sadly the real world has s**t all over this by spreading more complex news stories across many months so please bare with any chronological errors. And I challenge you to get through this list without at least once saying "oh I'd forgotten that".

2011 Review of the Year – Part 1

January

2011 began bright eyed and bushy-tailed with the UK buried under tonnes of white stuff, no not the explosion of Kerry Katona but a thick blanket of snow. And 2011's Award for "If only we'd had hindsight" was claimed early in the year when on the 1st of January Estonia became the 17th country to join the Euro. And in what would become known as the Arab Spring, the Tunisian government fell to a wave of upraising all started when a vegetable seller set fire to themselves in late 2010. Southern Sudan became the world's newest country annoying atlas makers by declaring peaceful independence from Sudan. England won the Ashes representing a token effort by me to include sport when I know nothing about it (apparently that was good?!). And in stupid news Andy Gray and Richard Keys got fired from Sky News after tapes of them accusing women of not being able to understand the outstandingly complex game of football were released. The primary mistake the duo made was in thinking that women don't follow football because they're too stupid, whereas in reality they don't follow it because their too busy getting incensed over EastEnders. The soap spent January in trouble for portraying a depressing story, even by it's standards, as Ronnie Mitchell swapped her dead baby for that of Kat Moon's, to an increasing chorus of angry viewers who'd completely forgotten that EastEnders wasn't a documentary.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1814.jpg)

In Hobbyland, January saw a raft of new Skaven models hit the shelves from the Hell Pit Abomination (which up until this point I'd presumed was some kind of pit as everyone called it a Hell Pit and I didn't have the Skaven book), to the Skaven Doom-Flayer accompanied by The Uniforms and Heraldry of the Skaven book and even some classic Space Marines. Back in the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves I'd been on holiday taking photos of funny Spanish signs, there was my first ever illustrated battle report and the Coalition Beastmen Army assembled to assault The Black Isle (unsuccessfully). My bid to spend 2011 painting more than I bought got off to a good start when I painted 40 Gors, 20 Bestigors, a Repeater Bolt Thrower, 20 High Elf Archers, 2 Great Eagles and a High Elf Monolith. I did end up buying a Beastlord, 20 Phoenix Guard and as a late Christmas present got 16 Marauders, Sigvald the Magnificant a Beastmen Chariot and a Razagor. Which took my 2011, painted:bought ratio to a good early start of 96:46*

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1734.jpg)

*counted in terms of 7th edition unit strength (with a bit of imagination for some things).

February

Back in February the traditional Valentine's month saw the glittering Oscars ceremony where the King's Speech triumphed winning 4 Oscars and showing that people with speech impediments used to have proper jobs and didn't need to become chat show hosts. The Arab Spring continued (even though February is technically still winter), as the Egyptian government was overthrown. Up until then Egypt had been considered one of the most stable countries in the region, primarily as it's government was built on a pyramid scheme – oh come on give us a laugh, there isn't much funny about global uprising, except of course Colonel Gaddafi who continued to deny the existence of the Libyan rebellion, his fashion sense and sanity in a series of bizarre speeches that caused confused even Charlie Sheen. Back in the UK surprise TV hit of the year Big Fat Gypsy Weddings launched on Channel 4 regularly achieving a massive eight million viewers, just shy of the figures this blog gets.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1816.jpg)

In Hobbyland, February saw the Blood Angels get a raft of reinforcements from the mighty Stormraven Gunship to a brand new Battle Force, plus the first sneak peaks at the Warhammer Forge releases came along. In blogland we discussed what on earth a "plog" was, why you can't give a 110% unless you're a t**t and I made a few understated comments on Valentine's Day. In painting corner I bought no new models giving me a great opportunity to improve my painted:bought ratio except I didn't paint anything due to a busy work month keeping us at 96:46.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1739.jpg)

March

March's news was of course dominated by the tragic earthquake and subsequent tsunami which devastated the North East of Japan, which then became further overshadowed by the meltdown of the Fukushima reactor. Providing the disturbing revelation that I along with most people in the developed world seem more shocked by natural disasters that occur in other developed countries. At home large scale protests against the government's austerity measures were overshadowed when a small angry group attacked banks and shops in an anti-capitalist protest which it later turned out was just the qualifying heats to the August finals. Charlie Sheen was fired from his job as the world's most highly paid actor, after an increasing series of bizarre public statements and the revelation he was on the drug "Charlie Sheen". 13 year old Rebecca Black became the subject of an internet hate campaign after she recorded a pop video as part of one of those day-out experience events that was universally condemned as the worst music video ever after being shown on YouTube, causing bitter disappointment amongst The Cheeky Girls who had been assured of the award. And Midsommer Murders got in trouble after revealing to those fearsome interviewers at The Radio Times that they portray the universally white middle England with a cast whiter than a Persil advert.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1819.jpg)

In Hobbyland, March saw the first 8th Edition Army book hit the shelves as Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins arrived in hardback and everyone went "oooooo" over the new Arachnarok Spider model, plus the Dark Eldar got a host of new bits and pieces too. On the forum I visited Liverpool, launched the Spot the Painting Brush Top competition, discussed what would happened if a Polystyrene Herdstone fell over in Telford Town Centre (no really we did), the first and only edition of the Daily Tale was published, I shared my tips on Banner Painting and Ritchie declared I should become a Cult Leader – in completely unrelated circumstances he has now left the forum! In a special characters bumper painting edition I managed to complete Caradryan, 20 Phoenix Guard, some movement trays, Malagor and Ghorros and despite temptation to buy an Arachnarok Spider I managed to just buy parts for my Jabbersltyhe conversion taking our important painted:bought ratio to 124:51 – wooo!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1747.jpg)

April

My research into April showed that according to the news not much happened, this was primarily due to some unseasonably hot weather – due to the disastrous project of outsourcing climate to Boris Johnson, which resulted in the hottest weather of the year falling in April and October. Additionally Easter and a bumper crop of Bank Holidays (three with a further one close behind in May) due to the Royal Wedding increased the incentive for a non-news worthy month. Although an estimated TV audience of 2 billion tuned into watch Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot, with 1 billion women ogling the dress and 1 billion men ogling Pippa Middleton's bottom, all of them distracted from the disturbing sight of the spontaneous growth of a forest in Westminster Cathedral. April Fool's Day erupted into a bumper edition when Nick Clegg launched a referendum on the Alternative Voting system (you'd forgotten about that hadn't you?!) the result was announced in May, but not much happened in April so I needed something to write about here.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1823.jpg)

In Hobbyland, April saw the Grey Knights step into the Warhammer 40,000 world some of which had a bigger stride than others in their Dreadknight kit. Meanwhile I fooled you all into thinking I'd got a job writing professionally for Games Workshop, Cheryl my plant died, my 21st birthday happened for the 9th time, I painted in the garden, we discussed how Easter is annoyingly unspoofable and some of you looked for Easter Eggs in my blog. Painting wise I only managed a High Elf Prince on Griffon, but I did purchase 2 Tuskgor Chariots, 3 Razagor and 2 Chaos Spawn upsetting the painted:bought ratio to a little less impressive 129:76.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1755.jpg)

May

May saw a flurry of US news stories makes the headlines when Cheryl Cole was shot by US Navy Seals and Osama Bin Laden was sacked from The X Factor USA – I think that's the right way round. While Osama's Geordie accent was blamed for his lack of likeability critics praised his judging of American talent, whereas Cheryl Cole was found holed up in Pakistan and buried at sea. In sports' news Manchester United and Manchester City won some things and the superinjunction story finally came to a head when the world's worst kept secret that footballers do stupid things emerged. As it became clear Ryan Giggs had slept with someone he shouldn't have. Obviously the most disturbing thing about the whole superinjunction saga was not the limiting of the freedom of the press, but the shock news that two people had slept with Andrew Marr – amazing, I thought one was pushing the limits of plausability. Portugal was rescued by the EU Monetary fund in what turned out to be a mini-cliff hanger on the road to 2011's season finale of Europe-wide financial collapse. And it was proved the public really shouldn't be allowed a say when The Only Way is Essex won a BAFTA Audience Award – thank god we don't let the public have a say on any important issues like who is running the country.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1825.jpg)

In Hobbyland, most hobbyists got sand in their toes with the arrival of the brand new Tomb Kings army book complete with Necrosphinx and Tomb Guard. On the blog I vowed never to build metal models again after using up all of 2011's supply of patience building some Razargor, we discussed the importanceof Procrastination, I bought an iPhone, I went on my balcony to varnish some models and enjoyed the dark art of water effects. Painting wise it was a bumper Beastmen month as I painted 2 Tuskgor Chariots, 2 Chaos Spawn, a Beastlord, Jabberslythe and 3 Razagors. And a belated birthday present of 16 High Elf Spearmen and 5 Dragon Princes took the all important painted:bought ratio to 160:102.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1767.jpg)

June

According to all the news websites nothing happened in June, nothing not a single thing. Every review of the year skims over June like a proud mother skims over her rapist son when introducing her family at Christmas. Broadly speaking there was a continuation of every event already running, the Arab Spring rumbled on (even though it's now summer), the Fukushima reactor continued to degrade, economic collapse continued in the Eurozone and protests at austerity measures hit many countries. Oh err... Glastonbury happened.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1827.jpg)

In Hobbyland, Citadel Finecast caused a storm of people going "this model isn't moulded properly" as Games Workshop dealt with my complaints about the metal Razagor models in quite an impressive manner (not that Finecast Razagor exist yet). In blogging news my full Beastmen Army assembled at Club OG (like Club Tropicana except you have to pay for drinks), I showed you how to make movement trays, got caught stealing content from BBC 6 Music. Plus it was the end of an era as the painting of the Dragon Princes of Caledor saw the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves come to a close after an impressive 43 pages and over 600 comments, not before I had a chance to go Behind the Scenes with a very special blog entry. In painting news not only did the Dragon Princes get completed but so did 17 Swordmasters and a High Elf Hero taking our painted:bought ratio to 188:134 due to the accidental purchase of 32 Chaos Marauders.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1771.jpg)

And that takes us to the halfway point of the year; make sure you check back into Procrastination by Numbers on Wednesday for Part 2 of our review of 2011 as we look back at July through to December. And if you haven't yet voted in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards yet, get fingers to keyboard and do it now!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 09, 2012, 12:34:46 pm
Ohh, look at what you could have won.

Thankfully I didn't track my purchases in the year.  It basically consisted of 3-4 armies and I only really painted 2, so suspect I was well down on breakeven.  Maybe this year...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 09, 2012, 01:05:27 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 09, 2012, 12:34:46 pm
Thankfully I didn't track my purchases in the year.  It basically consisted of 3-4 armies and I only really painted 2, so suspect I was well down on breakeven.  Maybe this year...

I think it comes from nature intending me to become an accountant and me fighting back, I now have a compulsive urge to audit my life.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 09, 2012, 03:16:55 pm
Where as I am an accountant and I know that most accountants have only the loosest control of their money and generally are pretty rubbish at regulating their own lives!

Also having spent 4 years working as an auditer I can think of few things that are less fun than reconciling my spending.  I'll count the fun output at the end of it but not the scary 'you spent how much' part at the other end!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on January 09, 2012, 06:09:40 pm
I am amazed how quickly you painted those spearmen.  Now be friendly, take shadow on your level 4 and MINDWAAZZOOOOOOOR!!   Please.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 09, 2012, 11:29:17 pm
Quote from: Toast on January 09, 2012, 06:09:40 pm
I am amazed how quickly you painted those spearmen.  Now be friendly, take shadow on your level 4 and MINDWAAZZOOOOOOOR!!   Please.

Andrew, Andrew, Andrew, how could you suggest that I would ever do something so mean and devious? (In fairness I'd probably never think of it). As punishment I think you should vote in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards - come on you don't want to be the only person on the forum who hasn't voted?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 10, 2012, 09:17:35 am
Apologies in advance, it's another post about voting. We have had an amazing number of votes already cast in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards and the results as they currently stand look very interesting.

But we could do with a few more votes, there are four days to have your say. All you need to do is PM with your votes (simply write the category number and your choice - nothing else is needed, and feel free to live out any category you don't feel qualified to answer.

A couple of people have asked to see the full list of categories and suggested nominees again (remember you can suggest your own winner in any of the categories). So below follows a repost of the part of Update 28 that listed all the categories. In the meantime, if you haven't yet:

GET VOTING

Thanks!!

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011. Whether you're a painter, a gamer, a collector, or someone in between you've probably got excited about the release of a new model this year, and maybe even bought it. So what's the model that's excited you the most? It can be any model or kit that was released in 2011 (though we won't except Citadel Finecast re-releases of existing models, brand new Finecasts are fine). To get you in the mood, here are some of my favourites (purely in alphabetical order):

•   Arachanok Spider – Looking much like me in the morning, only slightly less angry. The first of many giant Warhammer plastic kit has been upsetting Orc & Goblin opponents since March.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1489.jpg)

•   Garden of Morr – Perhaps you want something you can use with your Hornby Model Railway display as well as your gaming table. Was August's graveyard excitement for you?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1490.jpg)

•   Imotekh the Stormlord – unable to get through a metal detector at Heathrow Airport, but maybe one of the smaller models from this November is your choice.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1495.jpg)

•   Mangler Squigs – Giant and orange, but less likely to squash you than Russel Brand. The Mangler Squigs hit the shelves in December.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1499.jpg)

•   Stormraven Gunship – It's big and it's read and it's not Thunderbird 3, it's impossible to move without making "woosh" and "pow, pow" noises. Out in time for Valentine's Day.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1502.jpg)

•   Thundertusk & Stonehorn – more hair than in my bathplug, September's Ogre monstrosity could be your model of 2011.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1507.jpg)

•   Or maybe it was none of these, remember you can nominate any model you like!

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011. A catch all category that contains everything that isn't a model that popped out of the GW forges this year. So games, rule books, accessories, tools... and anything else you can think of fit in here. Here's some suggestions that popped into my head:

•   Codex: Grey Knights – Easter saw everyone reaching for a pot of Mithril Silver as those Daemon hunting Marines got a brand new book (as did the Necrons this year).
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1509.jpg)

•   Dreadfleet – Perhaps Pirate antics in the Warhammer world is exactly what you wanted this year? Perhaps you're the person who actually bought Dreadfleet? Either way October's main release might be for you.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1513.jpg)

•   Liquid Green Stuff – Are you addicted to a very simple, but highly effective pot of Green Goo with more charm than Jeremy Clarkson?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1516.jpg)

•   Uniforms & Heraldry of the Skaven – Way back at the beginning of the year the equivalent of the Ratman version of the Grattan Catalogue popped through every Skaven players door.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1518.jpg)

•   Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – If manipulating people through dodgy Pyramid schemes is your idea of fun, you probably bought yourself the brand new Tomb Kings book (Orcs & Goblins and Ogre Kingdoms also got a look in this year).
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1521.jpg)

•   Warhammer Storm of Magic – Did casting cataclysmic spells, summoning fell beasts or simply spinning the pointy spinner lots get you going back in July? (Blood in the Badlands was another Warhammer supplement this year)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1524.jpg)

•   Or was it something else, remember you can nominate what you like!

Category 3: Best Games System of 2011. What was your favourite game system this year? I've listed the obvious Games Workshop choices here, but feel free to go outside the box, and outside the Games Workshop with your suggestions here:

•   Dreadfleet – Potentially this could win two awards, more awards than copies actually sold, which would be embarrassing.
•   Warhammer 8th Edition – Oft maligned, but maybe you love to hate it? Could the game of Fantasy battles be your choice for 2011?
•   Warhammer 40,000 current edition (don't know the number) – Have you been shooting with your tanks and attacking with your aliens? Do you care about the future?
•   Or is it something else Games Workshop or otherwise. Remember you can vote for any system you fancy.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011. As my ASBO prevents me attending the Tournament scene can't really advise here. I played two tournaments this year, one of which I was partnering Steven so I'll let you guess what my favourite one was  :wink;m::!!

•   Any Tournament you like can go here. Get voting.

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011. Obviously there's no choice here, I am clearly going to be your choice for Best Forum Contributor who else comes close (please read this with a healthy does of sarcasm, else I will sound like a turd). Seriously you can choose anyone from the forum you want, though the only rule is don't vote for yourself.

•   To avoid getting a slap from anyone I don't list here, I'm not listing anyone. So choose your favourite forum contributor here.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011. Who had the Best Painting Blog on the forum this year? Maybe they had the best models, the best painting advice or just some witty charm. In the interests of not wanting to be a knob, you can't vote for any blog I've penned. Sorry but I am that modest.

•   Again I don't want to list my favourites, but why not got to the Da Gallery board and choose your favourites here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011. Who posted up the best painted model this year? Which photograph of a scary monster, magic wizard or mighty tank made you go oooooooooooooo! Again you can vote for whomever you like, but not anything I've painted. That would be wrong (plus I have my own categories to come! He he!!):

•   Mum's the word on my favourites, but Da Gallery is the place to go: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011. Some people may say it's very vain to have my own category which only I can win. Well tough it's my awards ceremony! Besides I need you to tell me what you liked this year so I can make 2012 an even better blog. For this category any update from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or our very own Procrastination by Numbers that I have penned can win. Maybe it's for excellent writing style, brilliant painting advice, witty repertoire, bitter vengeance or a good cock joke – you decide. Here's some of my favourites:

•   The Adventures of Great Bray Shaman Cameron (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 3 onwards – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.240 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.240)). Did the exploits and multiple deaths of Cameron, Clegg, Cable and others (sadly not in real life), make your 2011 perfect?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2118.jpg)

•   The Daily Tale News Report (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 12 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.405 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.405)). Everything the News of the World no longer has, saucy page threes, breaking headlines and utter tosh.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2986.jpg)

•   Guess the Number of Chairs (Procrastination by Numbers Update 9 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.60 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.60)). The worst competition since the GMTV phone-in scandal, but when the prize is Angel Delight how can you refuse?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers261.jpg)

•   High Elf vs Dark Elf Battle Report (Procrastination by Numbers Update 13 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.90 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.90)). Were you impressed with months spent recreating the club's lava board in Microsoft Paint or did you just think get a life?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/HighElfTurn1.jpg)

•   Shakeaway Guide (Procrastination by Numbers Update 11 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.75 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.75)). The only step by step guide of how to order a milkshake on the internet, and they say this blog isn't educational.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers053.jpg)

•   Valentine's Hatred (Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 7 – http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.300 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.300)). Mutilated teddies, broken hearts, bitterness and days of therapy may have made February your favourite month for posting.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2334.jpg)

•   Or did you have something else in mind, go for your life? I can't lose! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011. I was worried that you might think I was vain to have one category that I was definitely going to win, so to make it sound better I've got two. You have missed it in amongst all the procrastination but I have done some painting this year, which was your favourite model? For this category any model or unit I've painted from either Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves or this blog Procrastination by Numbers can win.]. Here's some of my favourites:

•   Caradryan – the High Elf character who is mute (most players on Saturday's tournament probably wish I had this talent), got painted back in April. Do you like the fiery cloak and blonde hair?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2907.jpg)

•   Dragon Princes – the final unit of the original Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves and certainly an amazing kit, personally I loved the golden helms – so much in fact I've bought another 10!
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3958.jpg)

•   Jabberslythe – not just painted but converted, before Games Workshop made their own one – is this green blob going to get your vote?
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3582.jpg)

•   Malagor, the Dark Omen – standing over a pit of lava is always dangerous, but maybe it will win you an award. Does this useless in battle special character warrant your vote.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2939.jpg)

•   Prince on Griffon – he's been shot more times than Colonel Gaddafi, and was casualty of the London Riots, but I think he looks great.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3166.jpg)

•   Tzeentch Sorcerer on Disc – don't touch him, the flying base could collapse at any moment!!
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers273.jpg)

•   Or was it something else?

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011. 2011 may have had winners, but we need to remember the losers too, which was your Model Horriblus of 2011, did it look hideous, was it impossible to paint, or did you cut your finger open assembling it. As with Category 1 any Games Workshop model released this year is eligible, bar Finecast rereleases:

•   I'm going to leave this one wide open to your imagination, so get voting.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 11, 2012, 08:55:12 am
Update 33 – Wednesday 11th January 2012: If 2011 had been voted off The X Factor... Part 2

Welcome back to our review of 2011 as part of the run up to next week's showbiz extravaganza – The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards Ceremony where there'll be more celebrities than on the Dancing on Ice line-up, so one will do.

It is of course time for my nearly daily reminder that there's still time to vote for the awards. All you need to do is copy and paste this red bit of text into a PM to me, with your votes and send it over by midnight on Friday 13th of January (our extended closing date):

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011

Category 3: Best Games System of 201

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

So if you haven't voted yet, what are you waiting for a bribe from the Russian Football Association? All your votes are very gratefully appreciated and will make a big difference. Alternatively I will be along at the club tonight for you to hand your votes into in person. Now on with the 2011 look back.

Now let's get back to the review...

2011 Review of the Year – Part 2

July

In July Norway was rocked by a shocking series of terror attacks. The Space Shuttle Atlantis completed the final mission of the fleet to deposit Piers Morgan into outer space for the good of all humanity, and the first artificial organ transplant was carried out, or so says Wikipedia I after all know nothing. The News of the World was closed down after 183 years, when it emerged it's journalists had hacked the voicemail of the missing schoolgirl Milly Dowler. Rupert Murdoch became one of many big names to visit the Levison inquiry where he was hit in the face by a custard pie, which contained no custard – even now the media lie, and the whole significance of his appearance was reduced to the level of a children's television programme – still at least I understood. In showbiz news the final Harry Potter film was released in cinemas, and Amy Winehouse defied medical science by living to the age of 27 despite the abuse her body had suffered.

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In Hobbyland, a Storm of Magic hit the shelves with hundreds of gamers distracted by the spinning pointy arrow thing in the cover accompanied by a range of new flying models, monsters, wizards, limited edition dice and a Finecast Cold One! In blogging news I wasn't – a blogging holiday was existing. Though I did manage to paint up 40 Marauders and 5 Marauder Horsemen, though a few of the new Warriors of Chaos releases may have fallen into my shopping basket as I got a Chaos Lord on Manticore and a couple of Sorcerers taking the painted:bought ratio to an improving 238:141.

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August

In August the season finale to the Arab Spring began with The Battle of Tripoli as rebel forces seized the capital from Colonel Gaddaffi's hands, in other news about tyrants The X Factor began it's eighth series. A raft of new judges couldn't distract the general public from the shock news that Louis Walsh is still on the show! Big Brother launched over on Channel 5 and some people won it. And the Iranian embassy condemned British authorities overuse of police force in a "hahaha" comment, as rioting and looting spread across London. Initial anger towards the police shooting of a suspect in Tottenham soon lead to looting in large areas of the capital later spreading to other parts of the country. A shocked nation found things only got worse with every political commentator in the country trying to come up with inventive reasons as to why the riots started, while the rest of us wondered how on earth anyone could be stupid enough to loot Tesco Value Basmati Rice and then post a picture of themselves doing it on the internet so the police could find them.

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In Hobbyland, the Vampire Counts got some reinforcements in the shape of some made-up models like a giant Terrogheist, plus we got Morr terrain with the Garden of Morr (I know that joke wasn't funny in August let alone now but give me a break), a Daemons of Chaos battalion and a load of Fine Cast bits. In blogging news the very exciting Procrastination by Numbers launched to worldwide apathy, we discussed alternative Warhammer updates rather than Storm of Magic, the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition started. We reviewed a White Dwarf much to the general meh-ness of the reading public and discussed topics ranging from football to reality television to sh**ting yourself at home whilst the streets burnt. In painting news, I was too scared to leave the house so didn't buy anything, but I did paint 5 Ellyrian Reavers, a High Elf Noble, a Tzeentch Disc rider and 2 Chaos Sorcerers taking the painted:bought ratio to 253:141.

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September

September like April and June saw another quiet month in the world, according to the news summaries anyway, again with more continuations of all the year's big stories. However other things popping up in the news were the news that Albert Enstein's Theory of Relativity might be wrong after some neutrinos managed a cheeky shortcut to overtake the speed of light in a tortoise and hare style race. While TV scientists desperately tried to explain neutrinos to a confused population shock spread the world, nothing to do with the science, Lindsay Lohan had unveiled her new haircut. Meanwhile ITV's brand new current affairs show Exposure exposed itself to ridicule and embarrassment after accidentally airing some computer game footage claiming it was shots of the IRA. Of course as a former employee of ITV who was made redundant by them I would never dream of enjoying revelling in ITV's embarrassments, so let's move onto Red or Black?. Oh dear. Ant, Dec & Simon Cowell's hyped up version of You Bet with all the charm sucked out. Contestants were whittled down by answering a question even simpler than Deal or No Deal? in order to whittle them down to one contestant who would get the chance to spin a prop left over from The Wheel of Fortune in order to win one million pounds. The programme didn't help itself when it turned out one of it's winners had spent five years in jail for attacking a former partner.

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In Hobbyland, September saw the Ogre Kingdoms join the ranks of new army books with loads of new models from the Stonehorn and Thundertusk kit to the return of Golgfag Maneater causing shock amongst the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar community. Plus yet more bits and pieces for the Dark Eldar, a Saurus Oldblood and a Nurgle Chaos Lord. Over on this blog we had the Guess the Number of Chairs Competition Results, we talked weddings, Shakeaway and turning 30. Plus we discovered the Queen is made from cheese, opticians are horrible and drawing lava boards in Microsoft Paint is tedious. Over in painting land I managed to complete a Daemon Prince, Exalted Hero and Warriors of Chaos Battle Standard Bearer and bought nothing giving us totals of 259:141.

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October

October saw the Eurozone lurch from crisis to crisis as combined talks lead by the French and Germans tried to prop up the economies of Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Ireland as a domino effect threatened to engulf Europe – in the sense that the only entertainment anyone in these countries could now afford would be dominos. The global population reached a massive 7 billion, all of which attempted to travel on the Northern Line with me on a daily basis. The government proposed raising the speed limit on the UK's motorways to 80mph in order so that people could leave Wolverhampton quicker, and broadcasting legend Sir Jimmy Saville died and then turned in his grave when he heard that Shane Richie was to present a tribute show. And the Arab Spring came to it's conclusion with the death of Colonel Gaddafi and the subsequent printing of his bloody corpse on the front of every newspaper which was only marginally more tasteful than the Sun's page three that day.

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Hobbyland was gripped with piratey puns as Dreadfleet sailed the high seas in a strictly limited edition run – that's still available now, oops! Plus there was a selection of new Citadel tools including Liquid Green Stuff. Over on the blogosphere we were being all nautical ourselves cruising the Mediterranean, deciding what project to paint next, chatting The X Factor and leading Santa and his Elves across the battlefields. The painting table was unvisited in October and with Dreadfleet, 3 Citadel Woods and another 16 Spearmen being bought it wasn't a good month for the painted:bought ratio which stood at 253:257 (after randomly assigning 70 to Dreadfleet and 30 to the forests!).

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November

November 2011 saw a host of goodbyes as Silvio Berlusconi reluctantly stepped down from his country's premiership in order to allow it to be guided through economic turmoil, depriving a number of good comedians of reams of material. Berlusconi himself is unlikely to be happy with the decision as he is now no longer immune to trial in a number of Italian cases – that should be fun. Daybreak's presenting team of Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakly were unceremoniously dumped amid poor ratings and reviews after a high profile poaching from the BBC resulting in replies of hahaha from former GMTV presenters and the BBC alike. Michael Jackson's doctor Conrad Murray was found guilty of accidentally causing the singer's death after confusing painkillers with Pringles. Nick Hewer was announced as the new host of Countdown after completing a series of tasks where he had to sell as many letters to members of the general public as possible in two days, make an advert for the show itself and project a manage a team to clear out Jeff Stelling's dressing room. After a nervous final boardroom battle he beat The Chuckle Brothers to the role. Meanwhile the public sector went on a day of nationwide Christmas shopping in order to protest about reduced public service pensions and Jeremy Clarkson offended them all by suggesting they should be shot in a completely serious interview untouched by any hint of irony.

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In Hobbyland, November saw the rise of the Necrons, with Doomsday Arks and Catacomb Command Barges hovering about. Plus there was a plethora of the usual Christmas stocking fillers from Skullvane Manse to Custom Army Cases. In the blog we were discussing Boris Johnson, WHSmith and socks. Matty's Top Tips and 50 Spearmen in 50 Days kicked off and Games Workshop rudely released things I wanted to buy. A little painting occurred with Korhil (who I spelt as Korhill all last year – apologies) and a White Lions Chariot making it to the completed shelf and after October's splurge of shopping nothing was bought taking the paitned:bought ratio just into positive at 259:257.

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December

December not only was the close of 2011, but bought close to a lot of other things, the British ended all pretence of being popular in Europe after vetoing its latest mandate on economic harmony in order to protect its important financial mismanagement industry. The United States officially declared the end of the war in Iraq leaving the country in a completely stable unwarlike state. A plethora of reality TV shows came to an end with Strictly Come Dancing stealing the ratings crown as Harry Judd won the glitterball trophy, Little Mix won The X Factor and were forgotten in the space of a week, and I'm a Celebrity... was won by one of the other McFly people, I wasn't watching. Kim-Jong Il ended his grip on North Korea prompting a large number of jokes around his name and being "oh so lonely". Samoa and Tokealu said goodbye to the 30th of December, entirely skipping the day, to shoot across the International Dateline and be at GMT +14. And we all shed bucket loads of tears as a child gave a poorly wrapped present to his parents from John Lewis and the Military Housewives stole the Christmas Number One from Little Mix's clutches.

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In winter Hobbyland, December was a veritable mishmash of releases with Beastmen monsters, Blood in the Badlands supplements, Mangler Squigs and giant army box sets destined for Christmas trees across hobbyland. In the Blogosphere we were enjoying a selection of low fat chocolate-less Advent Calendars, a spate of High Elf buying, "extreme" sports, Waaaghs and the Great Trials of Christmas. Plus the prize for the Guess the Number of Chairs competition was finally handed out. In painting corner we just crossed the finish line painting an impressive 50 Spearmen but his was more than balanced out with the purchase of a High Elf Army box set and some Christmas gifts of Silver Helms and Chaos Warriors taking the final ratio to 315:389.

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And that ladies and gentlemen was 2011 in a slightly large nut shell. Of course no review of the year would be complete without some updates. On the subject of socks ADD PHOTO IN OTHER BLOG I decided to use the day specific socks in the end – you'll be pleased to know. And as regards WHSmith as you can see things have improved in their shops as this photo I took at Brixton store shows:

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Not spotted the problem yet? How about now:

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There you go!

On that bombshell, make sure you return to Procrastination by Numbers on Friday, when I'll be reviewing the inevitable car crash that was 2011's hobby New Year's resolutions and setting out a load for 2012. And I'll say it again, make sure you vote for The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards or I'll smack ya!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 11, 2012, 12:12:33 pm
Great review buddy and come on guys, if you have not voted yet, please do, Matt has put an insane amount of effort into this blog, which you have all read, so please take 5 mins of your time to vote...

I thank you  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 11, 2012, 01:43:44 pm
I've voted, would do it again if it weren't frowned upon.

Out of interest how on earth do you calculate your 'points' for the painted:bought calculation, I've not managed to work out the system behind those random number movements.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 11, 2012, 03:17:49 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on January 11, 2012, 12:12:33 pm
Great review buddy and come on guys, if you have not voted yet, please do, Matt has put an insane amount of effort into this blog, which you have all read, so please take 5 mins of your time to vote...

I thank you  :thumbsup:

Cheers Ol glad you liked the review and thanks for the prompt! We have had a flurry of votes in over the last few days but it would be great to grab any last minute stranglers, as a number of key categories are exceptionally close and every vote counts!!

Quote from: Dave on January 11, 2012, 01:43:44 pm
Out of interest how on earth do you calculate your 'points' for the painted:bought calculation, I've not managed to work out the system behind those random number movements.

Good point Dave, it's calculated on 7th edition unit strength, which broadly seems to work quite well (one for infantry, two for calvary, three for monsterous infantry...) tends not to reflect the effort spent on characters and big models that well though. For terrain and Dreadfleet just made an educated guess as to how many infantry models I'd paint in the same time/effort. But to be honest as long as your consistant with assigning everything the same value when bought as when you then paint it, it works.

Though I am considering as alternate counting it in terms of points value painted:bought next year. Though doesn't help with the whole terrain/Dreadfleet problem.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 13, 2012, 08:57:07 am
Update 34 – Friday 13th January 2012: If 2011 had been voted off The X Factor... Part 3

For the superstitious amongst you it is Friday the 13th, indeed for the non-superstitious amongst you it's still Friday the 13th and it's time for the final part of the Procrastination by Numbers look back at 2011 ahead of next week's spectacular 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards Ceremony – like a less offensive and overpaid version of The Golden Globes.

I am of course contractually obliged to remind you that this is your very last opportunity to vote for the awards. All you need to do is copy and paste this red bit of text into a PM to me, with your votes and send it over by midnight on Friday 13th of January (that's tonight):

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2011

Category 3: Best Games System of 201

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 9: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2011

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

If you don't vote you can't moan at the result, in fact even if you do vote I won't take it kindly if you do moan, but at least you might have a valid reason. Now over to the look back at 2011:

2011 New Year's Resolutions

While we're wrapping up 2011, it only seems appropriate to look back at the New Year's Resolutions I made during 2010's Review of the Year over on the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves. Here they are and here's how we got on:

1) To keep up to date with the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves painting.

Well I think we can tick this one as a definite success, with a full 2,000 points done plus loads more extra bits, I was the only OG Gamer to cross the finish line. The blog itself still somehow remains the most viewed thread on the forum with the hit count still increasing (faster than this blog!!) even though I finished it months ago, at the time of writing it stands at 18,193 hits! Why does it keep going up, there's nothing new to see?!!

2) To paint more than I buy, and stop buying random things that just sit on the painting shelf.

Ok so the painting counter at the end of Wednesday's look back kind of suggests I failed at this one, though if you take out those end of year purchases of Dreadfleet and a High Elf Army deal I'd have been alright, and I made good progress at the head of the year. Though on the random things front I did quite well here painting up loads of old High Elf and Warriors bits I've had in my bits box for years, so a fail, but a limited fail I'd say.

3) To keep blogging.

Well some people still read it and though it's not as funny or popular as Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves I'm still churning this s**t out! So a tick here.

4) To try and learn tactics.

Errrr... very difficult to quantify here, I'd say I got better with the High Elves, I did after all get an impressive run of 5 wins in a row – which I'm pretty sure no one expected, least of all me, and managed a couple of less than awful results in the recent campaign. Given that I qualified this statement with the word "try" I think we can call this a tick.

5) To try and complete, well head towards complete, some armies.

This is a bit of an ish certainly I painted more for each of my armies, High Elves, Beastmen and Warriors of Chaos. However none are finished by my standards, being probably more of a collector/painter than a gamer, my army counts as finished when I have at least one of each unit choice (usually more) and a good smattering of characters including special characters. Both High Elves and Beastmen are close, but not quite there so I'll go fail here.

Overall that makes three successes and two fails, not too bad and certainly a lot better than my real life resolutions success rate.

2012 New Year's Resolutions

So that only leaves 2012's resolutions, I've tried to make them a bit more quantifiable than things like "try and learn tactics":

1) To paint all the contents of Dreadfleet.

The whole plan about buying the game as a nice contained painting distraction from High Elves and Beastmen only works if I actually paint them I've found. So by the end of 2012 I want a full finished set of warships and accessories. With any further supplement to the game looking less likely than the national press being happy with the organisation of the 2012 Olympics, I can finish Dreadfleet and finish it good.

2) To paint at least five bits of terrain.

I've noticed that terrain painting seems to be a common theme on the New Year's Resolution board so come on Matty get your own personal collection topped up. Five pieces isn't much, so fingers cross a nice Skullvane Manse may be gracing my own battlefield by 2013 (technically I don't have a battlefield either, so need to work on that).

3) To enter a non-doubles Waaagh.

I enjoy doubles a lot, my favourite type of Warhammer campaign and have done a couple of doubles Waaagh's this year, but I reckon it's about time I went single player at least to see if I can win that wooden spoon. Also apparently a lot of tournaments give away prizes for last place, so I could have a future!

4) To win at least five games of Warhammer this year.

I'm not setting my aims high, I realise last year's five games in a row was complete fluke but we'll see what 2012 brings. Currently this year I've played two and lost two.

5) To carry on blogging.

Sorry there's going to be more of this tosh to come, please read it, else my purpose in life will be gone.

6) To finish the High Elves.

This really is achievable this year, I now have one of every unit bar Silver Helms, White Lions and a Tiranoc Chario painted up, so those a few character and special character options and ok finish that massive army box set and we'll be there.

7) To finish the Beastmen.

This is probably even more achievable than the High Elves only need to add a Ghorgon and Cygor – the new kit will do just fine for those, plus a Doombull and make up my Razagor Chariot (if I can face it). No units just monsters, and they will be done.

8) To buy no more than I paint.

This is likely to be trickier for the simple reason, bar the High Elf army and Dreadfleet I've painted up most of my backlog of miniatures this year. But in fairness just painting what I will buy will sort this plan out.

9) To battle Mr Shakey Shakey.

Veteran readers may remember Mr Shakey Shakey my non-imaginary friend who I often mention on this blog, well we both rejoined Warhammer at the same time but are yet to play a single battle. In fairness to me, Mr Shakey Shakey's poor painting speed hasn't helped but this year we must have a battle.

10) To sort out my life.

Yeah this might be more complex, finding myself a loved one, learning to drive, making sure I have a career and a purpose in life all need to be done. In fairness if I do achieve this I may not have time for the previous nine resolutions but there you go.

So there we go, you've just got a year to wait to see if I can fulfil those ten resolutions, in the meantime can I remind you for the final time ever to please, please, please cast your votes for the 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, they really are appreciated. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

All that remains is to wish you an exceptionally happy New Year and I hope that 2012 doesn't pan out anything like the film of the same name (if the world's going to end let's at least try and have a decent plot), or the awful BBC Three spin-off Spooks: Code 9 kudos if you remember that, and indeed Kudos if you made it – a little TV production joke to end with, forgive me.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 14, 2012, 08:40:53 am
If you haven't voted in The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards you've missed out. Lines are now closed please don't call as your vote won't count and you may still be charged.

The results will be announced from Monday, in the mean time while the votes are independently counted and verified here's the theme tune to Challenge Anneka to keep you amused:

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 16, 2012, 08:52:17 am
Update 35 – Monday 16th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 1

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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls welcome to the most glamorous night (read week!) in the gaming/hobby world calendar as we celebrate the best of the best of the hobby world for 2011. Much like Antony Worrall Thompson's shopping basket, this awards ceremony will be full of cheese and ultimately won't cost you a penny.

Before we get started a big thank you primarily for putting up with me harping on about voting for the last three weeks, and extra thanks to those who actually voted (particularly if you did it of your own violation without me standing over you in the club with an angry expression on my face- you win bonus points!).

Across the ten categories we've had nearly 250 votes cast which I think is pretty impressive total so thank you so much, and approximately 8.6% of the people registered on this forum have voted which is a turn out much greater than the general election. Over the coming week we'll go through all ten of the categories, we'll list the nominations which is simply a list of everything that received at least one (valid) vote so if you do or don't see something there that you didn't or did want to see you've only got yourself and your fellow OG mates to vote. And we'll then of course announce the winner of each category, who will win an amazing prize which is simply prestige – no money has been spent.

So without further ado let's kick off with our first category.

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2011

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The first award goes to the best new Games Workshop model released in 2011. This can be a metal model, a Finecast figure or a plastic kit released from the Games Workshop factories. This award is more hotly contested than a two times table competition in The Only Way is Essex dressing room, every Games Workshop figure sculptor would want to win this award, if only they knew about it.

So before I overuse my mediocre allocation of lack lustre jokes this early on let's check out the nominations.

Archanork Spider

What's got eight legs, causes young girls to scream and grown men to head towards it with pitch forks and flaming torches? That's right it's JLS. The Archanrok Spider hit the shelves back in March for Orc & Goblin players to accompany their new army book. The kit can be equipped with or without a Forest Goblin Shaman and now is available for all players on a Scroll of Binding.

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Chaos Lord on Manticore

The Chaos Lord on Manticore is unique amongst this list in that it's the only kit listed here I've actually bought, and given my reputation for taste probably means it should be disqualified now. Of course the model is sitting in a pile of bits on my painting table covered in a thick layer of dust, much like Louis Walsh – probably shouldn't have chopped him up with my Razor Saw. The Chaos Lord on Manticore, which can also be assembled without a rider or with a Sorcerer Lord graced our shelves back in July alongside Storm of Magic.

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Cockatrice

Much like Emu our next nomination the Cockatrice is covered in brightly covered feathers, unlike Emu, Rod Hull isn't hanging out of its arse. Another July release here to accompany the Storm of Magic the Cockatrice's Fine Cast presence can grace any Warhammer army with the inclusion of a Scroll of Binding, or alternatively if you tell your opponent it's representing a Steam Tank – but that's less thematic.

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Chaos Dwarf – Bale Taurus

In a dark forgotten corner of the Games Workshop facilities, a team of slave labourers works on an underclass of models not accepted by the rest of the Games Workshop empire. We call this team Forgeworld. And while they are busy carving models from solid Emerald, judging by the pricing, this year they churned out the Bale Taurus. Part of the Chaos Dwarf range from the Tamurkhan book this model is no relation to Christian Bale.

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Firebelly

I think I've seen him on an advert for heart burn relief. The Ogre Firebelly, a warning for eating at my local Indian, has been breathing gouts of flame on the enemies of The Ogre Kingdoms since back in September, and gave Ogre players access to another spell deck and a headache working out how to paint that burst of Finecast flame.

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Garden of Moor

Don't worry I won't do the Moor/more joke again! The Garden of Moor represents our only entrant from the Citadel Terrain range, and the only entrant available at B&Q just alongside the Patio of Moor and the Hot Tub of Moor. Released in August alongside the last wave of Vampire Counts releases, The Garden of Moor consists of multiple terrain pieces that can be deployed in a number of ways – landscaping has never been so easy!

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Ironblaster / Scraplauncher

The model contains a gold cannon so large that it makes a Cash for Gold advert look positively un-bling, though the Rhinox looks arguably more attractive than the usual stars of these commercials. The Ironblaster / Scraplauncher kit is another entrant from this year's Ogre Kingdoms range the kit has never once been built as the Scraplauncher instead launching it's laser-guided cannonballs into my Bolt Throwers, Battle Standard Bearers and Chaos Knights – not that I'm bitter you understand.

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Razorwing

Sleaker than Marty McFly's Hoverboard in Back to the Future II and with less propensity to shoot it's own troops than an American Tomahawk missile the Razorwing jet represents the business class of flying with the Dark Eldar. Free mints and moist towelettes are sure to be provided to all passengers. Knowing nothing about Warhammer 40,000 I presume the model can be taken by Dark Eldar players and probably features some kind of guns or something?

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Stormraven

Another flyey wooshy thing for Warhammer 40,000 players the Stormraven hit the shelves in February in the Blood Angels wave. Like the privatised railways the Thunderbird 3 clone can be painted in a variety of colours and decked out with different upholstery depending on its operating company. Though be warned on Sundays the Stormraven rail-replacement bus service is a nightmare.

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Terrorgheist / Zombie Dragon

With more visible bones and leathery skin than even Doctor Gillian McKeith, though admittedly less fake qualifications this is the Terrogheist. The creature's Death Shrek has been scaring warriors from the face of Warhammer battlefields faster than a Cliff Richard concert. Appearing back in August as a bonus release for Vampire Counts players the model has now has just appeared in it's own army book with the release of Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 8th edition just this Saturday, that's how up to date we are. This model can also be constructed as a Vampire on Zombie Dragon.

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Thundertusk / Stonehorn

More frozen food based accessories adorn this model than the average Iceland buffet on the plus side Kerry Katona is nowhere in sight. The Thundertusk / Stonehorn kit modelled on Pat Sharp circa Fun House days and gives Ogre Kingdoms players some massive muscle on the tabletop, as opposed to their normal sized muscle, as well as  their third entrant in this category.

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Wurrzag

Madder than Strictly Come Dancing judge Bruno Tonlioni judging Charlie Sheen on an episode of Lost. Wurrzag is the combination of all the traits of an Orcs & Goblins army – craziness, brutality and squigs. The only special character in our list, is the Savage Orc Shaman that made a return in Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins – 8th edition.

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And the winner is – well you'll have to open up the golden envelope to find out (yes I've found another use for the spoiler function):

[spoiler]

The Ogre Kingdoms Firebelly

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1963.jpg)

We would obviously ask the Firebelly to give an acceptance speech, but there's a good chance he might incinerate the front row of the audience. Though I think we'd all have to agree a great model certainly not hindered by an impressive paint job.

Category Notes: Interestingly this question provoked a massive range of answers that really suggests beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and that there isn't one ultimate best model (except of course the Firebelly!). The other good performers in this category were the Archanork Spider, Cockatrice, Garden of Moor, Razorwing and Stonehorn / Thundertusk Kit. If you didn't see your vote translated into a nomination in this category, then it's almost certainly because our independent adjudicators found out your chosen model had come out in 2010. Sorry!


[/spoiler]

Time for our next award.

Category 2: Best Games Workshop Supplement Released 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1964.jpg)

The second award of the evening goes to Best Games Workshop Supplement, this wide category covers anything from Games Workshop that isn't primarily a model. So books, Citadel Tools, gaming accessories, cards and even boxed games (even if they include models as part of the package) are all included in these categories. Obviously it's been a big year for this category, what with the release of Dreadfleet the nautical sea battles game which has undoubtedly dominated this category... oh what do you mean, it hasn't got a nomination. Oh this is awkward, let's see who did get the nominations...

Battle Magic Card Decks

More exciting than a Paul Daniels Magic Kit and more useful than a pair of earplugs at a Steps reunion concert, this nomination covers the range of limited edition magic cards that have come out this year including Skaven, Orcs & Goblins, Storm of Magic, Ogre Kingdoms and Tomb Kings. These useful cards, even more useful now numbered, are the perfect way to remember your spells – if only you could get your hands on them. Which of course you can if you're a Beastmen player.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1924.jpg)

Blood in the Badlands

Not quite Supplement, not quite Army Book, Blood in the Badlands – the rejected tagline for Happy Feet 2 features the tale of eight gamers fighting it out in the Badlands with new rules for underground fighting, siege warfare and a selection of reassuringly average-painted armies on the battlefield so we don't get too scared by the 'Eavy Metal standard. Released just last month this is the most recent nomination in the category.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1934.jpg)

Liquid Green Stuff

The only fluid that made the nominations stage of this category this little tub of liquid modelling putty is designed to cause you maximum confusion when you try and give your Wood Elves a coat of Snot Green. Perfect for filling small mould lines with the minimum of fuss, clogging up your paint brush and repelling Superman this pot was released back in October.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1516.jpg)

Paint Station +

The most useful thing you can do with your lap whilst watching telly without having to change your paints. The Paint Station + is a Paint Station plus two mixing palettes, two water tubs and a cutting mat. Allowing you to paint an entire army whilst sat in front of The Biggest Loser or worse whilst reading this blog. If comfort is everything then this is the accessory that co-ordinates best with the universe.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1941.jpg)

Storm of Magic

The first and currently only supplement to the game of Fantasy Battles, which can be combined with a plastic mat to make the sordid Warhammer version of twister. July's big Warhammer supplement allowed you to add monsters, sorcerous pacts and apocalyptic spells that would make even Hermonie Granger wee her little knickers, especially if you'd actually opened it and played a game!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1524.jpg)

Tamurkhan: The Throne of Chaos

Most chairs don't have a name, I found no named chairs in the 120 odd I counted over the summer for the blog, but The Throne of Chaos is different. Forgeworld's only Warhammer supplement so far provides expansions for the Empire, Warriors of Chaos, rules for combining the forces of Chaos and a whole army list for the elusive Chaos Dwarfs returning them to the Warhammer World with a host of exotic cannons. No prizes for guessing at least one of the voters for this book!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1852.jpg)

Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins

The first army to get the full 8th edition treatment Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins comes with a whole host of brand new green gribblies, full colour pages all the way through and enough "Da"s and misused "z"s to give your English teacher a coronary. Introducing the Archanrok Spider, Mangler Squigs, Goblin Assassins and who can forget flying Snotling Pump Wagons to the Warhammer World this book hit the shelves back in March.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1944.jpg)

Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings

The second army book of the year gave a much needed revamp to the army with more sand in their toes than me on Brighton beach. Bringing the rules for the Necrocoplis Knights and Warsphinxes to the Warhammer tabletop this supplement emerged from the sand back in May.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1521.jpg)

Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Necrons

The only 40K supplement to make the nominations in this category. This is probably a good thing as I cannot talk about this with any semblance of knowledge. This book came out in November, almost certainly had the rules and background for the Necrons in, and wasn't hard back. Sorry 40K fans.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1938.jpg)

And the winner is...

[spoiler]

Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1965.jpg)

Another win for Warhammer here, as the second army book released for the new Warhammer sweeps to victory. With it's array of new troops, full colour goodness and flat surface to balance your dinner on whilst watching TV what is there not to like?

Category Notes: Another reasonably widely contested category here, Storm of Magic just lost out to second place and Liquid Green Stuff came an admirable third. If your vote didn't translate into a nomination here it's probably because you choose something that came out in 2010, or you selected a model!


[/spoiler]

And on that bombshell it's time for a break, of approximately a day in length. The awards ceremony continues tomorrow when we shall be revealing who won Best Tournament of 2011, and whether Games Workshop managed to hold onto the prize of Best Games System of 2011.

See you then.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 16, 2012, 12:02:09 pm
Hmm mixed feelings about this, the firebelly whilst nice is very much sold by ana amazing paintjob, in the hands of less skilled painters I can imagine a few horrors will be gracing our battlefields.

The TK book was great, it inspired me to starting an army of them, I've read it cover to cover which is something that doesn't usually happen.  Reflecting on it now I'm still not sure of how well it plays in an unrestricted environment but certainly a great book.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 16, 2012, 01:32:26 pm
the TK win is a great result ( did not actually vote for it myself, did not think of it as an expansion  :blush:)...

Bring on round 2....
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on January 16, 2012, 01:50:39 pm
If anyone's wondering, the one vote for wurrzag was from me... That's an incredible model!!!! :)

Everyone else was seduced by hollywood flames and big monsters I reckon!!! ;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 16, 2012, 01:54:25 pm
My choice was *shockingly* the Bale Taurus, want one!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 16, 2012, 02:10:22 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 16, 2012, 12:02:09 pm
Hmm mixed feelings about this, the firebelly whilst nice is very much sold by ana amazing paintjob, in the hands of less skilled painters I can imagine a few horrors will be gracing our battlefields.

Yeah I think the paint job definitely helped, though it's the first time I've seen a model with a gout of flame modelled coming out of it - which does make for a dynamic pose. Although I could stick cotton wall coming out my High Elf Dragon's mouth for a similar effect.

Quote from: Steve H on January 16, 2012, 01:50:39 pm
If anyone's wondering, the one vote for wurrzag was from me... That's an incredible model!!!! :)

Everyone else was seduced by hollywood flames and big monsters I reckon!!! ;)

I think big monsters are easiest to remember when under pressure to pick, though the smaller models do fair better in Worst GW Release as you'll see on Friday.

Quote from: maelzch on January 16, 2012, 01:54:25 pm
My choice was *shockingly* the Bale Taurus, want one!

No one would have guessed!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 08:32:50 am
Update 36 – Tuesday 17th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1848.jpg)

Welcome back to The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, we're still here dressed in our bow tie and tuxedos ready to give you more of the best of 2011. Yesterday we discovered the winners of the Best Games Workshop Model of 2011 and the Best Games Workshop Supplement of 2011.

So without an opportunity for another lame joke, let's head over to our third category:

Category 3: Best Games System of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1966.jpg)

This award is open to any games system, either Games Workshop or otherwise, that you've enjoyed playing in 2011 (doesn't have to be new this year). By games system we had of course hoped you choose gaming style games rather than Monopoly or Snakes & Ladders, let's see if you managed that as we check out the nominations...

Battlefleet Gothic

With a name that could be the kind of heavy metal band that I'd be appalled to listen to, Battlefleet Gothic is actually the game of spaceship combat in the 41st Millennium. For those of us who like our battlefields covered with asteroids, planets and giant ships with turning circles the size of Michelle McManus's waistline. This represents one of Games Workshops' specialist games and as such hasn't had an update this year, but remains available on their website.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1854.jpg)

Battletech

Battletech is "The board game of armoured combat" and not a company making stuff for the Ministry of Defence I am reliably informed by their website. Made by Catalyst Game Labs the universe is apparently available in board game, fiction, role-playing game and computer game format.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1855.jpg)

Bloodbowl

If football was violent and allowed people to act without regard for the health and wellbeing of others it would be just like West Ham fans. Bloodbowl represents what would happen if you let fantasy monsters, aka Wayne Rooney, onto the pitch to punch, smack and kick a spiked ball (whose idea was that?) over the touch line.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1853.jpg)

Bloodbowl Manager

Bloodbowl Team Manager allows those of you to lazy to play Bloodbowl to instruct other people (or cards) to do it on your behalf. From our friends at Fantasy Flight Games (technically they're not my friends, not even on Facebook) this game is packed with cards and allows you to become Spike! Magazine's Manager of the Season.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1856.jpg)

Elder Sign

Elder Sign is a series of programmes shown after midnight for hard of hearing Elder with someone in the corner acting out what has happened through Elder sign language. It also happens to be the name of another Fantasy Flight Games' creation, tag-lined as "A game of dice and dementia" it is unclear why it's so popular in the club. Players must work together to stop the gates between dimensions collapsing in a museum and allowing the Ancient One (the Nolan Sisters) from pouring into our realm.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1857.jpg)

Warmachine and Hordes or Hordes and Warmachine

What would happen if Robert Stephenson* had invented war games? We'd have Warmachine or its sister game Hordes. Made by Privateer Press the game "is set in the Iron Kingdoms, an environment which combines the richness of traditional fantasy with the excitement of steam power" have I missed something? Since when was steam power exciting?
*Robert Stephenson built the first steam locomotive – thicko!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1858.jpg)

Malifaux

"Trigger-happy gunslingers, misguided Victorian science, hungry undead and monsters hidden in every shadow; these are the terrors that will plague you in Malifaux – so says Wyrd Games website blurb, coincidentally a similar message appears underneath the "Welcome to Hull" sign on the M62. Teams in Malifaux must fight to gain control of a portal of limitless magic.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1859.jpg)

Warhammer Fantasy

In its 8th edition, Warhammer will be celebrating it's 30th anniversary in 2013 and currently boasts 15 armies that can be fielded in the field of battle. The game's universe has gone onto to spawn a whole host of games in the shape of Bloodbowl, Talisman, Warhammer Quest, Man O' War and even Dreadfleet, plus literature, computer games and a cult of mad followers who paint their armies based around the colour scheme of their favourite milkshake vendor (cough cough!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1860.jpg)

Warhammer 40,000

If you'd like to replace your musket with las-cannons, your siege towers with landing pads and your chariots with mighty tanks, Warhammer 40,000 is the game for you. Currently in its 5th edition and celebrating it's 25th birthday in 2012. Colloquially known as "pew pew" the game surprisingly doesn't offer any church based seating.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1861.jpg)

Warhammer Invasion

The complexity of Warhammer boiled down to a simple card game, where there aren't even any jokers, except the players. The game has all the fun of Warhammer without having to any assemble any fiddly miniatures, lug a box of heavy models down to the pub and break all your toys in a rage-related accident. Why on earth aren't we all playing this?! Another toy from our friends at Fantasy Flight Games – still no friend requests.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1862.jpg)

And the winner is, inside this golden envelope. Let's open it.

[spoiler]

Warhammer Fantasy

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1967.jpg)

So despite rage quitting all across the board, the original games system remains the most popular, with a raft of 8th edition books and supplements keeping its loyal followers in tact.

Category Notes: This was the most closely contested category as Warhammer was neck and neck with Blood Bowl right up to the final day of voting when it got one crucial extra vote to win the category. Warmachine and Hordes managed a creditable third as the highest non-Games Workshop finisher.


[/spoiler]

Time for the next award.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1968.jpg)

In this category we look to find the winner of the Best Tournament of 2011, I should say when I say winner of the Best Tournament. I don't mean the person who won the best tournament, but instead the tournament that won the title of best tournament. Very confusing, not least because I know nothing about tournaments and there aren't even any pretty photos for each nominations to distract us. Wish us luck as I reveal that the nominations are...

Cardiff

Cardiff is the capital of Wales and is such a fitting location for a tournament to be held. For alliterative reason alone the tournament if referred to as Cardiff Carnage and in 2011 was held on the weekend of the 27th/28th of August. I know very little about tournaments, but I can tell you Doctor Who is filmed in Cardiff.

Da Boyz Grand Tournament, New York

I probably wouldn't be giving too much away to suggest that the number of people likely to have been here from this forum is both limited, and doesn't include me. Da Boyz implies some kind of Orcy or even Orky themeing and New York implies America. I guess it's held there I have no idea.

Sheffield

The Sheffield Slaughter, see earlier notes on alliteration is probably held in Sheffield, I have nothing more to say on this other than Sheffield is a city located in northern England famous for steel making. According to Wikipedia the site of Sheffield has been occupied for 12,800 years (equivalent to the average time it takes to queue up in the Post Office) and the city's Latin motto is "Deo Adjuvante Labor Proficit" meaning "With God's help our labour is successful" and they say this blog isn't educational.

South Coast Grand Tournament

The South Coast Grand Tournament is held in Horndean just outside of Portsmouth which is conveniently located on the South Coast, otherwise the tournament would have to renamed and would cause confusion for all. In 2011 it was held on the 16th and 17th of April conveniently close to Ol's birthday thereby encouraging a massive pi** up. That is all I have to say. Thank you.

Swiss Cheese Team Tournament

Swiss Cheese always sound like an excellent yummy idea, the team aspect concerns me as sharing is never good when cheese is involved. Logically the Swiss Cheese Team Tournament is held in Switzerland home of the cuckoo clock, chocolate, knives and not getting involved in wars.

Valhalla

Valhalla is a majestic enormous hall located in Asgard, ruled over by the God Odin. Due to the appalling transport connections the tournament isn't held here – despite the excellent hall that would be available, but instead in the equally mythical Portsmouth ruled over by the God Cameron as part of his almighty empire which may or may not include Scotland at the time of reading.

Wandsworth Waaagh

I've been to this one I have stuff to say! Held in Wandsworth near the Sainsbury's with the bus stuck in the front. The Wandsworth Waaagh is held many times of year with many different styles of events from singles, doubles and even triple spirits depending on how generous the bar stuff are feeling. Run by the amazing Ol and lost by myself it is everything you could expect from a tournament.

Warrington Warlords

Oh I don't know, I can't make up any more spiel, it's in Warrington that's a town somewhere at least two warlords must live there, hence the name. It's a tournament, people play games, there is a winner, then everyone goes home. I'm sure it's lovely.

And the winner is...

[spoiler]

Valhalla

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1969.jpg)
Picture from the Valhalla Tournament thread, used without kind permission of the owner – in fairness I never asked

Look I struggled to write the nomination part, maybe someone who went has something to add?

Category Notes: The clear winner of this category winning at least twice as many votes as it's nearest rivals. In joint second place were the South Coast Grand Tournament and the Wandsworth Waaagh.


[/spoiler]

Can you believe it, it's the end of another day already so sad. Join me tomorrow when we've got Categories 5 and 6 as it's time to get personal as we find out the Best Forum Contributor and the Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011. Someone's going to be offended, and you could be a winner. What more enticement can I give?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on January 17, 2012, 11:48:58 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 08:32:50 am
[spoiler]

Valhalla

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1969.jpg)
Picture from the Valhalla Tournament thread, used without kind permission of the owner – in fairness I never asked

Look I struggled to write the nomination part, maybe someone who went has something to add?

Category Notes: The clear winner of this category winning at least twice as many votes as it's nearest rivals. In joint second place were the South Coast Grand Tournament and the Wandsworth Waaagh.


[/spoiler]

Woohoo! I voted for this one! It looks like this photo was taken in the wetherspoons, just before Ollie and Rob decided to rock their funky stuff in the middle of the pub. We had some horrible cocktails, then I think someone got the bouncers to throw Steven out for a laugh... (did that happen? or did I just imagine it?)

Either way it was hilarious, despite the fact I was staying in a dodgy b&b - I arrived and walked in to its reception to find it filled with empty carling cans, fag ends and cans of mini sausages and baked beans. Truly bizarre place!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 12:48:01 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on January 17, 2012, 11:48:58 am
Woohoo! I voted for this one! It looks like this photo was taken in the wetherspoons, just before Ollie and Rob decided to rock their funky stuff in the middle of the pub. We had some horrible cocktails, then I think someone got the bouncers to throw Steven out for a laugh... (did that happen? or did I just imagine it?)

Either way it was hilarious, despite the fact I was staying in a dodgy b&b - I arrived and walked in to its reception to find it filled with empty carling cans, fag ends and cans of mini sausages and baked beans. Truly bizarre place!

Good to get some context to a photo which I used, but knew nothing about!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on January 17, 2012, 02:11:47 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on January 17, 2012, 11:48:58 am
Woohoo! I voted for this one! It looks like this photo was taken in the wetherspoons, just before Ollie and Rob decided to rock their funky stuff in the middle of the pub. We had some horrible cocktails, then I think someone got the bouncers to throw Steven out for a laugh... (did that happen? or did I just imagine it?)

Either way it was hilarious, despite the fact I was staying in a dodgy b&b - I arrived and walked in to its reception to find it filled with empty carling cans, fag ends and cans of mini sausages and baked beans. Truly bizarre place!
This actually looks like a photo taken on the friday night, not that I remember the friday much at all. The dancing on the saturday was epic though.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on January 17, 2012, 02:20:47 pm
Quote from: Crompton on January 17, 2012, 02:11:47 pmThe dancing on the saturday was epic though.
Still easily the best thing I have seen in my entire life!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 02:25:53 pm
Quote from: Steve H on January 17, 2012, 02:20:47 pm
Still easily the best thing I have seen in my entire life!

Sadly no photographic evidence exists of this, or does it?...

[spoiler]
No it doesn't.
[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 17, 2012, 02:54:37 pm
[spoiler]Ohh you tease[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: shadownova24 on January 17, 2012, 03:07:32 pm
yes jack that was friday night where stevo and ED bailed on us
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 04:09:05 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 17, 2012, 02:54:37 pm
[spoiler]Ohh you tease[/spoiler]

Guilty as charged!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 17, 2012, 04:43:26 pm
Quote from: Steve H on January 17, 2012, 02:20:47 pm
Still easily the best thing I have seen in my entire life!

I vaguely remember it, this event winning was down more to our OG drinking antics rather than the actual tournament (which was a bit rouigh around the edges shall we say).
But was a top wknd, me and Jack drank far too many of those horrible cheap cocktails though  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 17, 2012, 05:11:26 pm
I feel with all this chat about best Tournament winner in our ramblings we should mention Warhammer winning Best Game - there done it, let's move on.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 18, 2012, 07:57:42 am
Update 37 – Wednesday 18th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1848.jpg)

It's the part of the blog you've all been waiting for. No not the end. It's the return of The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards. Yesterday you'll remember we announced Best Tournament to much fanfare and discussion and Best Games System to much, well general mehness.

So let's plough on regardless with all the concerns for safety of an Italian cruise ship captain, as we announce our next award:

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1970.jpg)

This award recognises those of you who contribute and make this forum the amazing place it is, well those who contribute to the forum anyway. This category is open to anyone on the forum so there's more likely to be awkwardness than at a Katy Perry-Russell Brand Anniversary planning meeting.

Let's take a look at the nominations...

Meals

A leftover from the filming of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this New Zealander has landed on British shores and can be seen regularly causing trouble on London Transport with his trademark Bretonnian knight bus. Despite being caused Meals he is yet to provide a single packed lunch or home cooked dinner to anyone in the club which is a clear violation of the trade description act. He spent 2011 painting with more shades of blue than a pregnancy testing kit left out in Essex, and leading Team Good's alliance to a crushing defeat in the recent Warhammer Winter campaign.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1864.jpg)

Maelzch

Maelzch is an impish warlord known for his armies where no one can work out what is actually what. He is a cover boy for What Beard magazine and his main weakness is that he is unaware that Games Workshop models can actually be put together as shown on the box.  He spent 2011 painting a bumble bee themed Tyranid army and leading Team Evil to victory in the Warhammer Winter campaign despite winning a surprisingly small number of games.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1867.jpg)

Cunningmatt

A government experiment in verbal diarrhoea gone wrong, Cunningmatt pours out pages and pages of relentless gaming and painting waffle on a weekly basis. Without any form of social life to speak of he has hours and hours of spare time to generate content about nothing. An additional side effect of the state experimentation performed on him is that Cunningmatt is simply unable to win a game of Warhammer for love nor money, he just cannot do it. Every tactic, unit and magic item he tries will undoubtedly fail simply because it is him. His former handlers would like to warn the general public not to approach him whilst mentioning happy relationships or love as you're likely to feel his deep loathing and wrath.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1863.jpg)

Fatolaf

Fatolaf is the daddy of the forum, the master, the controller. Nothing escapes his beady eye as he watches all the forum boards simultaneously constantly moderating, updating and controlling. For example I will now try to write a rude word: __________ - See he has removed it already, truly a master of espionage. Any who defy his will awake to find the decapitated head of a member of Games Workshop's rules department in their bed, or worse are thrown into a pit full of 4th edition plastic Goblin Spearmen from which the only certainty is eternal pain.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1866.jpg)

Veldemere

Veldemere is the ghost of Warhammer past, on one day every year he drifts into existence on the forum long enough to warn of the dangers of playing Warhammer and moan about it. Then disappears back into the ether to haunt the Southbank for the next 364 days, it is strongly suspected that he was nominated in an ironic capacity.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1868.jpg)

Steve H

Steve H is the troubled soul of the OG Forum, he listened to the whisperings of the Veldemere ghost and was lured away from the true path of Warhammer. However successful counselling by the other members of the community on his blog, and the buying and subsequent eBay selling of 254 armies has allowed him to complete his treatment and now he can be seen fielding a mighty Ogre Kingdoms army – until he sells it anyway.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1865.jpg)

And it's time to opener another envelope to discover the winner...

[spoiler]

Cunningmatt

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1971.jpg)

Well this is all rather awkward isn't it? People will think it's fixed or self-congratulatory, well if it was I'd have got a lot more than 68% of the vote! :wink;m:: And of course I should say it's just an honour to be nominated alongside all you other worthy winners, blah, blah, blah, whatever... I won!! :))

I am course joking, no seriously I am please don't hate me!

On a serious note it certainly wasn't my intention or expectation to win, so I should say thank you very much. I am glad you seem to enjoy reading my blogs (or you at least pretend to), I hope my awful jokes make you laugh now and again. And a massive thanks to those who take time to reply and contribute, you somehow validate my life's work.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm welling up a little here, and I don't want to get tears all over my tuxedo.

And to think I didn't even have to offer out any Angel Delight as bribery!

[/spoiler]

Well I think we should quickly move on before there's a revolt against the blatant fixing. Here's our 6th award.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1972.jpg)

This category is for the best painting blog on the OG Forum, now before you start, I'm not eligible to win this category, so I won't claim a white wash today. Though thanks to those who did vote for me, it was very sweet of you, but your votes were discounted. Let's move on from this self-congratulatory bulls**t and see the nominations...

Blotthrower's Halfling Extravaganza

What happens when you let someone who can't spell bolt thrower loose with a selection of Lindt bunnies left over from Easter? Well it's this Blotthrower's Halfling Extravaganza. There's not a single scouring pad left untouched in his house as every one has been turned into trees for this highly thematic army where Halflings represent Orcs & Goblins, bunnies represent Squigs, cows represent spiders and madness represents sanity.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1869.jpg)

Dave's OG Purchases

Dave's OG Purchases is a selection of different armies from Ogres, to Skaven, to Bretonnians, to BloodBowl to more. All painted in less than 12 seconds flat at a speed so disturbing that we are all green with jealously, well we would be if we'd got round to painting ourselves green in 12 seconds. If only he worked for Network Rail engineering work would be completed in minutes. However he has become so fast at painting that no one on the forum has actually ever seen him, he is a motion blur at best, and none knows what he looks like.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1870.jpg)

It's All Shades of... Blue?

Less "internet rudeness" (I wanted to use a word here beginning with p and rhyming with cornography but sadly it was filtered out) than expected from the title, which is slightly disappointing. But a surprising number of nominations given that it only appears to feature two painted models! As expected these models primarily use the colour blue, in multiple shades. Sequels are planned including It's All Shades of... Red?, It's All Shades of... Green? and a spin-off home ware business It's All Shades of... Lamps? Oh come on, that was funny!!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1871.jpg)

Maelzch's Mad Medley

If you were to combine a painting blog with the £5 Ready, Steady, Cook shopping basket you wouldn't get this. A bizarre combination of Orcs, Chaos, Tyranids and Empire with two consistent themes one the models aren't Chaos Dwarfs and two the models aren't recognisable as to what kit they're from! A common theme of the blog is moaning how difficult yellow it is to paint, and then painting everything yellow.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1872.jpg)

The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint...

The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint..., is the ninth and most successful of the Adventures in Paint blogs, primarily as the first eight involved extreme potato printing. The blog mainly centres around a Blood Angels army redder than the average Brit in Spain. The most notable thing about the blog is the fact that all the pictures are photographed in heaven with the plain white holy glow around the Blood Angels the clear mark of the afterlife.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1873.jpg)

Getting Over the Rage Quit... An odd WFB Blog

Unique in it's nomination because it's NOT a painting blog. Bloody joker voters. The Getting Over the Rage Quit blog features the journey of Steve H to work out why he likes Warhammer when he doesn't, and what army he should collect next. If you're looking for painting on this blog, then like talent on Britain's Got Talent, you may not find any.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1874.jpg)

And the winner is...

[spoiler]

The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1973.jpg)

It would be wrong of me to make an acceptance speech for Seb, but I'm sure if he did make an acceptance speech he would like to thank me for being such a great painting inspiration. Perhaps if we're lucky Seb will have a few words to comment for us on this very blog.

Category Notes: Well done to everyone who got nominated in this category, as a large number of votes were collected in the club, you should be pleased your painting blog stayed in the minds of its readers when forced to vote at glare point (like gun point only less bitchy). The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint... did achieve a commanding lead in this category, second went to Maelzch's Mad Medley, and weirdly last place didn't go to Getting Over the Rage Quit... An odd WFB Blog.


[/spoiler]

That's it for today, but don't worry much like Chlamydia we'll be back tomorrow, with or without the cream. If you weren't lucky enough to win an award today, don't worry we'll be deciding the Best Painted Model of 2011 – anyone of you could win this (so long as I've already e-mailed you to let you know you're up for nomination if not I wouldn't hold your breath). Plus we've got Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011 (that's me), yes people were actually able to choose a post of mine they liked. So don't be rude.

See you tomorrow.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 18, 2012, 09:39:07 am
Bah, I thought that one was my best chance, seems I'm destined to always be the bridesmaid...  What do you people want from a painting blog, I did 4 different armies damn you all, it's the jealousy thing isn't it...  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 18, 2012, 10:14:34 am
Nah, its because you're Scottish... I'm sorry, Dave   :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 18, 2012, 10:34:36 am
Woo! Two nominations! Who'd have thought that my dark booze-fuelled whimsy and refusal to use normal models would be successful?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on January 18, 2012, 10:53:59 am
Quote from: Dave on January 18, 2012, 09:39:07 am
Bah, I thought that one was my best chance, seems I'm destined to always be the bridesmaid...  What do you people want from a painting blog, I did 4 different armies damn you all, it's the jealousy thing isn't it...  :wink;m::

At least you got to wear a dress Dave, I didn't even get let into the church by the bouncers.

But then my plog did only run for about 2 weeks, since I got bogged down by the 'mammoth' task of painting a Mumak...

Anyhoo, well done to those lucky winners. Playing 3 games alongside Seb's beautiful army at the doubles was a pleasure, I was just terrified I would cause some kind of clumsy catastrophe! and Matt has put in an insane amount of effort entertaining us on a near-daily basis. So both well-deserved I think!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Blotthrower on January 18, 2012, 10:59:44 am
woo hoo, a nomination for painting rabbits and my terrible spelling, today is going to be a good day!

I have to add my thanks to Matt for this awesome blog. A very deserving winner.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 18, 2012, 11:46:54 am
Quote from: Meals on January 18, 2012, 10:14:34 am
Nah, its because you're Scottish... I'm sorry, Dave   :))
Pff bloody sheep shagger.  :P

To be fair the painting blogs are my second favourite part of this forum (right behind reading matts epic rants) and all the ones on the lists have captured my attention in the past.  Given steve H's appearance I'm going to move to posting less pictures and more rambling chat and see if that improves my placing next year  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 18, 2012, 11:57:43 am
Quote from: Dave on January 18, 2012, 11:46:54 am
Given steve H's appearance I'm going to move to posting less pictures and more rambling chat and see if that improves my placing next year  :thumbsup:

Its true, aimless ranting appears to be key to upping your forum cred. However, first you'd have to leave your significant other, fall into a deep pit of despair, and start hacking up Teddy bears on Valentine's day, just to give yourself something to rant about. Do you really want to do this just to gain Internet fame?

On a another note, I think I could do a "It's All Shades of... Red?" sequel for my High Elves. But that will be in about the year 2051, when I finally finish the first one...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 18, 2012, 12:40:35 pm
Well done Matt and Seb, well deserved victories..... :1st:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 18, 2012, 02:23:12 pm
Many thanks for the congrats, slightly unfortunate I have to organise my own competition to win anything, but I'll take what I can get?!  :wink;m::

Quote from: Meals on January 18, 2012, 11:57:43 am
Its true, aimless ranting appears to be key to upping your forum cred. However, first you'd have to leave your significant other, fall into a deep pit of despair, and start hacking up Teddy bears on Valentine's day, just to give yourself something to rant about. Do you really want to do this just to gain Internet fame?

On a another note, I think I could do a "It's All Shades of... Red?" sequel for my High Elves. But that will be in about the year 2051, when I finally finish the first one...

Sadly yes the above is required, it's a small price to pay for the infamy I now have. I can walk in any shop anywhere and say "Don't you know who I am?". They don't, but I feel I can now say it at least.

Looking forward to the Red sequel, I'll put a note in my calendar as to when to look out for it.

Congrats to all the other nominees, remember Dave it's the being nominated that counts. Though it is easy for me to say that as I won!  :1st:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 18, 2012, 05:23:09 pm
I'm off to :cry: into my giant oversized pillow.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 18, 2012, 08:35:35 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 18, 2012, 05:23:09 pm
I'm off to :cry: into my giant oversized pillow.

Something all us lonely bloggers are tired of doing.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 19, 2012, 08:22:58 am
Update 38 – Thursday 19th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1848.jpg)

Welcome back to the Awards Ceremony that has more interesting content than Wikipedia... if you just count yesterday. Yesterday we ruffled feathers, caused showbiz strops as the awards got personal and presumably the alcohol took hold.

Let's hope for more of that as it keeps the ratings up, so without further ado, here's today's categories:

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1974.jpg)

This clunkly named award celebrates individual models, rather than blogs. Who painted the best individual model (or unit/squad)? That's what we aim to find out. As with yesterday's Best Painting Blog category I am exempt from nominations (I know and I was hoping my movement trays would win). Remember everyone (Dave) it's being nominated that counts. On that note, with some trepidation, we look at the nominations...

Lylyth, Herald of Everblight – painted by CraigM

This model has become colloquially known as Craig's Purple Cloak model, well by some of the voters at least, hopefully the reasons for naming are obvious (or I've picked the wrong model). This model is presumably for the game Hordes, what I do know is she has a lovely purple cloak and excellent snowy base, well I presume it's snow she may have a terrible coke habit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1975.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1976.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Craig M, from "Craig goes Hordes" blog

Malifaux Models – painted by Dave

Dave secured this highly commendable, very important and much regaled nomination for his Malifaux models. Voters hadn't selected a particular model, so I've chosen a few from his blog. I've chosen these because A) I like them and B) The pictures didn't say "This image or video has been moved or deleted. Photobucket." Which would have been a less exciting picture. Obviously I have no idea what these models are, but they look good, unless they are supposed to be giraffes in which case they are awful.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1977.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1978.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Dave from "Dave's OG Purchases" Blog

Alice the Hive Tyrant – painted by Maelzch

Not quite sure why this beastie is called Alice, perhaps it reminds Lee of an unfortunate looking ex-girlfriend, who can say? Tallest of the Tyranid beasties, this monster generates terror in all who see her, no wonder she's grumpy looking like that. Yellow and black armour plating are the trademark colour scheme for this army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1999.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2000.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Tale of 6 Gamers – 40K" and "Maelzch's Mad Medley" Blog

Bloodbowl Ogre – painted by Maelzch

It's yellow and black, I wondered who painted it?! This massive ogre dominates any Blood Bowl field, and I think may have been my PE teacher back during my troubled childhood. Armed with the latest merchandise from JD Sports – an anchor and a parrot this model is sure to be getting a super injunction soon.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1979.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1980.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Maelzch's Mad Medley" Blog

Chaos Dwarf Bull Taurus and Lammasu – painted by Maelzch

You'd think 15 active Warhammer armies would be enough to find one you wanted to paint, but some people like to be difficult! These models date back to a time when my haircut was fashionable, and feature the trademark lava basing. Last seen on the battlefield representing Gyrocopters... no really they were. This is our only Chaos Dwarf nomination... unsurprisingly!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1981.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1982.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Maelzch from "Maelzch's Dawi Zharr" Blog

Eiryss, Angel of Retribution – painted by Meals

This is some model from some game (I don't actually know which, but I don't think anyone noticed), what I can tell you is that it's posed on a big piece of stonework, due to trade descriptions it must heavily be painted blue. I can also reveal it's painted using the Non-Metallic Metal technique, whereby normal colours are blended to appear metallic. Don't tell Jim, but they actually make metallic paints, he could have saved himself loads of time.

Please note I've only included one photo of this model, as only one angle has been photographed (no bias here), in fairness for all we know the back could be s**t!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1983.jpg)
Photo used with kind permission of Meals from "It's All Shades of... Blue?" Blog

Brother Harkon – painted by Angelus Mortifer

Brother Harkon is one of many models painted by Angelus Mortifer, on his award winning blog, using his standing order of Blood Red. Excellent basing, a detailed shield and clear photography help this model look amazing – anyone else feeling slightly inadequate?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1984.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1985.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Angelus Mortifer from "The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint..." Blog

Dark Eldar Wyches – painted by Angelus Mortifer

Hang on a minute, where's the Blood Red gone? It's all gone wrong! Other painters may feel a little concerned that models which haven't even been finished have been nominated in this category – this girls requiring some basing, but that's a testament to the painting, or the fact that many of the people voting on this forum go a little bit week at the knees when they see Boobs, I'll let you decide which!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1986.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1987.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Angelus Mortifer from "The 9th Legion – Adventures in Paint..." Blog

Queek on Bonebreaker – painted by Shadownova24

Much like the Power Rangers' Zords, Skaven characters can combine together to make super Skaven characters. Here's what happened when Queek and Bonebreaker joined forces. Covered in mangy fur, and smelling really bad the painter of these models has also gone onto paint some impressive Warriors of Chaos and Space Wolves models (sorry Steve couldn't resist!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1988.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1989.jpg)
Photos used with kind permission of Shadownova24 from "Corruption (WOC/SK) and Retribution (SW 13th company)" Blog

And with the nominees all appropriately insulted, it's time to open that golden envelope and discover who the winner is...

[spoiler]

Eiryss, Angel of Retribution – painted by Meals

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1990.jpg)

Congratulations to Meals on an excellent win. I am sure he has something far more eloquent to say than me – to be honest I'm sure Colin Firth's character in The King's Speech has something more eloquent to say than me but that's what makes me, me.

Category Notes: Congratulations to all the nominees in this category, especially Lee who managed an impressive three models nominated in this category, and well done to Seb who's Blood Angels came a close second, nearly securing him a clean sweep in the painting categories.

[/spoiler]

Time to move onto the next category, the final one for today.

Category 8: Best Post from the Procrastinator of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1993.jpg)

Okay, okay, so I admit it, I was worried I wouldn't win anything so set up my own category to make sure I won something. Can you really blame me? I wouldn't object if you did the same in your own Awards Ceremony.

The Procrastinator is me, in case you hadn't guessed, and here we were looking for the best post (or series of linked posts) that I've produced in 2011 primarily across my blogs Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves and Procrastination by Numbers. Here are the nominees...

Forgotten Special Advent Calendars

A treat for every day in the run up to the big family row, this year presented in stereo format (ok so one of the threads was a repeat). Ingenious use of the spoiler facility, i.e. use of the spoiler facility, created all the thrill of an advent calendar without the chocolate – hence no excitement. Everyday we looked back at a special character that's been removed from the Games Workshop annals. Sadly Games Workshop refuse to remove enough special characters from their books so there probably won't be one next year.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1875.jpg)

Daily Tale

The primary reason why Matt isn't allowed to become a journalist was revealed back in March when the Tale of OG Gamers ran a spoof tabloid newspaper entitled the Daily Tale – see what we did there? Featuring obituaries (mainly of Matt's love life), obscene Page 3s, headlines, chatter and shockingly some painted models the blog entry was tedium taken to a new level.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1876.jpg)

Extreme Sports

Interestingly this didn't feature a single reference to Games Workshop as Matt (yes I am writing about myself in the third person, it is odd I know) detailed the utter catastrophe that was his attempt at extreme sports, and when we say extreme sports what we actually mean is Go-Karting. The only blog entry to feature to be referred to the health & safety board featured injuries, crashes, inability to overtake, enormous helmets (don't be rude) and more stress than a European financial meeting.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1877.jpg)

Guess the Number of Chairs Competition

When holidays aren't exciting what do you do? You take a photo of every chair in your villa and then ask people to guess how many they are in return for packets of Angel Delight – such a common occurrence that the internet is practically clogged up with these things. Similar competitions with similar budgets may or may not be appearing in 2012, you have been warned.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1878.jpg)

High Elf vs Dark Elf Battle Report

What do you do when you've got a weekend alone, no partner, no friends and no prospect of any of these things? Well Matt likes to recreate the clubs' lava board in Microsoft Paint for no discernable reason and then map out an incomplete battle as the most bittered and twisted rivals who have hated each for generations fought tooth and nail, but enough about Matt and Jack. The game was an opportunity for Matt's ridiculously fluffy High Elf army to fight against a similarly chosen list by Jack and the result defied all probability.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1880.jpg)

Shakeaway Purchasing Guide

In case you weren't sure how to go into a shop and purchase a drink Matt helpfully provided a guide of how to order a milkshake. Despite numerous mentions of the Shakeaway brand the company refuses to offer Matt any free milkshakes and many of the staff have taken out a restraining order against him.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1879.jpg)

Valentine's Rage

Some call it the funniest blog they've ever read, some call it a cry for help and a reason for social services to step in with an elephant-dosage size shot of tranquilisers. I'd like to say that no teddy bears were hurt in the making of this blog entry, but that would be a lie. With February looming and no real prospects for Matt, the Valentine's teddy bears of the world prepare their defences and hide under the counter – the raging hour is coming.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1881.jpg)

And the winner is...

[spoiler]

Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1994.jpg)

I won, what a surprise, it really wasn't expected?! Ok it's not really fair creating a category where only I can win, but ha, ha, ha my blog, my rules (unless I upset one of the moderators).

What was a surprise was that the Valentine's Rage blog didn't win, particularly as it shot out into the lead at the beginning of the voting for this category. But eventually it was overtaken by a strong performance from the Advent Calendar – admittedly this was 24 posts (48 if you count all the ones I repeated from last year) but I really thought the burnt out teddies would win it. If you haven't read the Valentine's Rage blog best you don't, I'd like to remain with some dignity on this forum, besides with 2012's Valentine's Day looming and me now happily settled with a gorgeous and loving partner I will have nothing angry to write about this year (cough, cough!). Also good to see a fair few Procrastination by Numbers' posts make the nominations, at one point it was only The Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves' posts listed and I was worrying I'd stop being funny!! Good to know I've still got it, if I may be so bold as to suggest I ever had it.


[/spoiler]

As Katherine Jenkins said to Gethin Jones, it's time for a break. Make sure you pop back tomorrow to join us for the final day of The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards ceremony. Ahhhhhhhhh I know, but seriously I couldn't drag this out any longer. Tomorrow we'll be wondering who won Best Painted Model by the Procrastinator, I wonder who will win. And which model will take away the infamous title of Worst Games Workshop Model of 2011? There's certainly some interesting nominations.

On that note, see you tomorrow.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: shadownova24 on January 19, 2012, 08:48:56 am
WHOOT
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 19, 2012, 08:51:43 am
If only I could combine my nominations into one super nomination. "Nominations assemble!"

Good job to the winners, especially matt's shock award!

(The reason behind Alice's name is on my plog HERE (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=152.msg39428#msg39428))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 19, 2012, 09:12:35 am
Quote from: maelzch on January 19, 2012, 08:51:43 am
If only I could combine my nominations into one super nomination. "Nominations assemble!"...

...you still wouldn't have won! :wink;m:: But you are the only person to have got three nominations in the same category (bar my rigged categories), which I think is an excellent achievement!!

Quote from: maelzch on January 19, 2012, 08:51:43 am
Good job to the winners, especially matt's shock award!

Many thanks, many thanks, I'm still getting over the shock myself.

Quote from: maelzch on January 19, 2012, 08:51:43 am
(The reason behind Alice's name is on my plog HERE (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=152.msg39428#msg39428))

In fairness I did write the blurb for your entry at the point when I couldn't find your entry on your blog, so I had to make it all up without even a reference picture (unlike the other entirely factually correct blurbs). Though I think my reason for calling her Alice is better than yours!  :thumbsup:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 19, 2012, 11:43:40 am
Um... Wow this is so unexpected! Well, I'd just like to thank my mum and dad, where would I be without you guys? Um I have to thank my amazing publicist who got me this gig in the first place. Ahh... my fellow cast members who were just fantastic to work with and made it all so much fun. Um privateer press for giving such a beautiful model to work with.
*music starts* I should also congratulate my quality competition who all painted some lovely models
*grabbed by ushers* oh and any else I've forgotten, i love you all! Woo, free Tibet!
*shoved off stage*

But seriously, when do I get my trophy? :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 19, 2012, 11:49:43 am
Lovely acceptance speech there, well done!

Quote from: Meals on January 19, 2012, 11:43:40 am
But seriously, when do I get my trophy? :))

Sadly the budget for this blog is approximately £0, however I'd be happy to send you a pitcure of the Awards Logo Star with the word "Winner" on it (as attached to your picture in the golden envelope) for you to do with as you see fit?! I appreciate this has no cash value and so therefore won't be what you wanted.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on January 19, 2012, 01:43:36 pm
I'm disappointed Matt. Surely this was a prime chance for you to make Angel Delight trophies?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 19, 2012, 02:28:06 pm
Well done to Jimbo and Matt

Cant believe the Valentine day's massacre did not win though... :cry:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 19, 2012, 03:56:07 pm
Quote from: Crompton on January 19, 2012, 01:43:36 pm
I'm disappointed Matt. Surely this was a prime chance for you to make Angel Delight trophies?

You have overstimated the amount of free time I have in life, not by much, but you have.

Quote from: fatolaf on January 19, 2012, 02:28:06 pm
Cant believe the Valentine day's massacre did not win though... :cry:

I know, another shock in a week of shocks, which goes to show just how important every vote is!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 20, 2012, 08:19:16 am
Update 39 – Friday 20th January 2012: The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards... Part 5

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1848.jpg)

So this it, the final day of The Procrastination by Numbers Awards, all week we've had thrills, we've had spills, we've had tears and we've had joy, well I have. I get swept away. If I gush any more I'll produce more fluid than a pubescent teenage boy, so we best get on. Here's the final categories:

Category 9: Best Painted Model from the Procrastinator of 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1995.jpg)

Another award that only I can win, surely not? Who came up with these categories anyway? This category celebrates the best (admittedly the standard is low) single model or unit I've painted up on this blog. The main advantage of this topic over yesterday's category, with everyone else's painting efforts in, is I actually know what all these models are. Here at the nominations:

Caradryan

Captain of the Phoenix Guard, and someone who actually knows how to spell "Phoenix", sadly he can't tell us where that rogue "E" goes as he's mute. Caradryan is the character able to call down the wrath of the gods when he is killed in battle, which sadly so far in Matt's battles has resulted in the deaths of approximately no one. Details to watch out for include the soft flowing Elven hair and the hand painted flame pattern on the cloak which helpfully you can't see in the picture I've chosen – oops!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2907.jpg)

Dragon Princes

The Dragon Princes, also known as the Doom Diver magnet, were the final unit to be painted in The Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves project. Currently the unit of five is being expanded ten, though that has got an estimated completion date just after the opening of HS2. A good candidate for 2010's best model released by Games Workshop were we to have done these awards last year. Details to watch out for include the hand painted banner and the variety of red gems normally reserved for characters.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3958.jpg)

Jabberslythe

Unique amongst the nominations as this model was actually painstakingly converted by Matt just in time for Games Workshop to release their own model and save him the bother of doing it. The model has an artificial stomach constructed from green stuff which the NHS are refusing to pay for the removal of despite safety concerns. Details to look out for are water effects on the base, multiple purple tongues and the only model in my Beastmen army not painted brown.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3582.jpg)

Malagor, the Dark Omen

The second Beastmen model to make the nominations list, nice for Malagor to get a mention as he'll probably never get used by any sane person in a battle ever. Soaring above the Beastmen army Malagor will invariably get shot to pieces and die horribly before doing anything useful. Details to look out for on this model are lava basing stolen blatantly from Lee's Chaos Dwarf theme and Bretonnian artefacts on Malagor's staff.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2939.jpg)

Prince Althran, on Griffon

The general of the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves this model has been shot more often than the cast of Friends. Painted over a sunny Easter the Griffon rider kit is from the Island of Blood box set and was a sad casualty of the London Riots though it has since made a full recovery. Details to look out for include the yellow cloak and the base detailing including rubble and Elven statue that the Griffon will probably crash into unless it makes some sudden manoeuvres very soon.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3166.jpg)

Prince Althran, on foot

If you're allergic to feathers, then this is the version of Prince Althran you're after. Though no one can explain why he's swapped his yellow cloak for a blue one, lost his helmet, gained a shield and appears to have dropped a potion on the floor. Always annoying when you've just bought a new bottle of sugar-free potion lite from the newsagents. Details to look out for include the blue shield, detailed chest plate and Elven bits on the base.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers235.jpg)

Shakeaway Banner

A highly prized Elven antique, the Shakeaway Banner is oft fought over by the enemies of the Elves and they never claim it except in every battle they ever played. For no logical reason at all Matt decided to paint a milkshake cup on the banner of his Elven Archers. Obviously he could have painted something sensible like a Unicorn, Eagle or Elven rune, but that is not the way of the mentally unstable. Details to look out for on this model include the banner mainly, you dummy!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3019-1.jpg)

Steve's Mum

Steve (aka shadownova24) was lucky enough to get his mum nominated. No I don't understand either, but what can you do? I'm pretty sure I don't remember painting Steve's Mum this year, but who knows I may have had a rohypnol fuelled evening whilst armed with a paint brush and several pots of Tentacle Pink. Thankfully for reasons of taste and decency no pictures exist of this event, and legally I'm not allowed to ask the resident five-year old artist to draw such things.

Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord

The only model I've painted that you can use as a Frisbee, though only if you want a clip round the ear as I smack you for breaking my model. The only candidate in this list for the Warriors of Chaos army unless of course Steve's Mum has an allegiance we're not aware of. Details on this model to look out for include the glowing crystals of the Tzeentch garden and the fiery trail emanating from disc and rider.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers273.jpg)

And with all the nominations making sense, bar one, it's time to open that golden envelope...

[spoiler]

Jabberslythe

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1996.jpg)

Congratulations to me. What a pathetic person I am by being excited about this?! I have to say I didn't expect the Jabberslythe to win, whilst I'm very happy with how it turned out it's not my favourite model and I expected the Elves to claim victory. In fact there's a good chance that this is my first ever win with Beastmen! Wow! I do feel bad the Jabberslythe has only appeared in two battles so far, so perhaps it's time the Beastmen returned to crush everyone at OG Games (or be crushed more likely).

Category Notes: The Jabberslythe just won this category beating the Dragon Princes into second place and the Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord and Prince Althran on Griffon into joint third.

[/spoiler]

And before I turn into a complete self-congratulating anus, it's time to move on to our final, and some may say most important, category. Yes it is the one you've all been waiting for...

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2011

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1997.jpg)

Yep, I decide to ruin my chances of ever getting a job with Games Workshop, by asking you which model you wish the almighty model forgers had never bothered crafting. Well you had you're say and now it's time for the gallery of awfulness, here's the nominees...

Chimera

Three heads are better than one, though apparently one model is not better than none in the case of the Chimera. This plastic beasty popped up alongside the Storm of Magic release and can be used both in Storm of Magic games, as a model for the Transformation of Kadon spell and according to popular opinion to make your opponent vomit vigorously.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1887.jpg)

Finecast Range

The entire Finecast Range managed to get a nomination here, beset by technical problems on release the range hasn't had the happiest of years. As Games Workshop made a robust attempt to remove metal from their ranges. Shouts of "oh, isn't this light" were soon replaced with calls of "how much?" and "this doesn't seem to be moulded properly".

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1947.jpg)

Ghorgon / Cygor

The final month of 2011 saw the country's two Beastmen players finally able to complete their Beasty hordes with a range of monsters to fill up that illusive rare slot. This kit makes up the Cygor and Ghorgon model and I received it from my painting colleague Mr Shakey Shakey for Christmas so I am tempted it to disqualify it just for that reason.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1927.jpg)

Hell Pit Abomination

Another massive plastic kit to make the nominations, this Skaven model has been giving opponents of the ratty kind headaches. Apparently not because of its prowess in combat, but because of its hideous model. Released back in January this model is the oldest making this category.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1950.jpg)

Jabberslythe

The other Beastmen Beasty of this year, this model however came out in Finecast. In fairness the model is supposed to represent a monster so revolting that all who look upon it wish to rip their eyes out in madness, so surely if this model has made a category of hideous models of the year it's done its job? Have I just opened up a paradox here?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1930.jpg)

Mangler Squigs

Who on earth decided a full scale replica of two David Dickenson heads stacked on top of each other would make a good model? This Night Goblin beastie makes up a trio of December releases in this category. What a monthus horriblus for Games Workshop. Available in Finecast and consisting of multiple Squigs and Night Goblins bouncing towards your enemy ala out of control space hopper this model could be bounding into your units soon!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1499.jpg)

Mournfang Cavalry

Fat people on giant cat like monsters don't look beautiful, who knew? This model popped out of the Games Workshop forges in September. The largest cavalry to make the tabletop, and already comped to save your army being stomped, will this model also need to be comped to avoid you throwing up all over the battlefield?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1894.jpg)

Plastic Oldblood

This Lizardmen character is the only one of the brand new plastic multipart character kits to make this list, and unfortunately I bought it for Mr Shakey Shakey for Christmas before it became a nomination, so to avoid me looking like a horrible git, I am going to say this model looks lovely and there's nothing wrong with it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1954.jpg)

Prince Apophas

In fairness if you were made of scarabs and a skull, you wouldn't look that attractive would you? The only special character and the only Tomb Kings release in this category implies they had a good year.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1961.jpg)

Seekers of Slaanesh

Technically these were released back in 2010, but they got through on an unforeseen technicality that they were re-released in a battalion set this year back in August (and the fact I had very few votes in at the time when this came through). The nominee of this model said that according to their background they should look sleak but they look anything but.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1912.jpg)

Steve's Mum

A second appearance for the mother of Steve (shadownova24), in fairness I didn't know she modelled for Games Workshop let alone they'd released her back into the wild. I've never seen Steve's Mum but I was tempted to group her votes with the Jabberslythe. But then having seen Steve's nose and thinking back to childbirth that women has probably suffered enough so it seems unfair to further upset her.

Tzeentch Herald on Disc

Back in August Games Workshop got their pink thing out and some of you were disgusted. Stop that thought now, dirty, dirty person. Of course I am referring to the Tzeentch Herald on Disc of Tzeentch, blue-ray compatible this disc and rider hit the Finecast shelves to shrieks of despair from some of you.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1917.jpg)

And the final winner, or in this case loser, is...

[spoiler]

Mangler Squigs

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1998.jpg)

And if you've just heard a noise in the background, that was a Games Workshop sculptor being taken out and shot. I hope you are happy?

Category Notes: Possibly this says more about my taste than anything else, but I quite liked this model. I think in fairness having read the Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins entry for this a lot of people were expecting something a bit smaller on the Fanatic scale, which may be why the £39 price tag upset a few on seeing this. As with Best Games Workshop model this category had loads of nominations (if yours isn't listed it almost certainly was disqualified for being released in 2010), the only other model to score a meaningful number of votes was the Chimera.


[/spoiler]

And that ladies and gentlemen is it from The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards, well almost; as I went round collecting the votes I was informed of a few other categories people would like to have seen, so just for fun:

Category 11: Most Ironic Post on the Forum of 2011

Winner of this award was also the person who suggested it. Ritchie wins for his post announcing "I have returned to the forum" before entering another three month radio silence.

Category 12: Most Annoying Model to Assemble of 2011

An excellent category suggestion here from Ol, he nominated any piece of Games Workshop scenery made this year. However I decided in a completely undemocratic move to overrule him and instead award this to the Razagor model. Yes I know it was released in 2010, but it was that bad! It even made me rage quit metal models. And I am pretty certain Gareth would agree me with here.

Category 13: Worst Warhammer Player of 2011 and all previous years

The winner of this turned out to be me. Which is rather rude if you ask me! I think four awards is one too many to win anyway, I've now become vulgar. And for those who did vote for me I'd like to point out I have won a game this year, I expect that will be it for 2012 but still!


And that really, really, really is it from The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards I hope you've had more fun reading this than I have writing it, because quite frankly it's been a long slog!! :wink;m::

Thank you so much to absolutely everyone who voted, I really couldn't have done it without you. No really I couldn't, it would have just been 10 categories with no nominees! And of course well done to all our nominees and winners. If I'm still writing this drivel in 2013 we may do it all over again, is that a collective sigh I hear from the Wandsworth area?

Next week Procrastination by Numbers returns to normal after a marathon spate of updates with Advent Calendars, Reviews of the Year and Awards Ceremonies. So I'm afraid it may only a weekly update, but there's loads of exciting stuff to come including narrative campaigns, photography and maybe some actual painting wow!!

Until then...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 20, 2012, 08:59:08 am
QuoteCategory 13: Worst Warhammer Player of 2011 and all previous years

Matt, I think you were pipped at the post by Steven to this one! :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 20, 2012, 09:15:02 am
Quote from: maelzch on January 20, 2012, 08:59:08 am
Matt, I think you were pipped at the post by Steven to this one! :)

I am more than happy to hand this award over! Or we could have a special Warhammer s**t-off game to see who takes the crown!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 20, 2012, 03:07:45 pm
Quote from: maelzch on January 20, 2012, 08:59:08 am
Matt, I think you were pipped at the post by Steven to this one! :)

Or by his mum  :))

Great Awards Matt, loved them, keep up the excellent work in 2012.................



(or else we will have you killed :cool3:)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 20, 2012, 04:53:35 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on January 20, 2012, 03:07:45 pm
Or by his mum  :))

It would be embarrassing if I lost that match up.

Quote from: fatolaf on January 20, 2012, 03:07:45 pm
Great Awards Matt, loved them, keep up the excellent work in 2012.................



(or else we will have you killed :cool3:)

Thanks... I think?  :scared01:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 20, 2012, 06:27:40 pm
On a completely unrelated note, anyone think this comment on the Games Workshop website (posted today) about Dreadfleet might feel a teeny tad inappropriate:

I've also discovered that I should never be allowed to sail an actual ship, as I regularly get port and starboard round the wrong way and I have yet to play a game without one of my warships Slowly Capsizing. Let's just say I would get my feet very wet on a regular basis.

Whoops!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 20, 2012, 06:53:38 pm
barely topical at all, was he italian?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 20, 2012, 07:21:59 pm
He'll be fine. He can just slip and fall into a Lifeboat.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 20, 2012, 07:38:54 pm
Oh don't get me wrong I've said far more inappropriate things... just not as the public voice of my employee! Sure it'll be fine just seems an unfortunate choice of nautical phrasing!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on January 20, 2012, 08:05:16 pm
Quote from: Meals on January 20, 2012, 07:21:59 pm
He'll be fine. He can just slip and fall into a Lifeboat.

Oh so true!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 20, 2012, 08:38:03 pm
Quote from: Meals on January 20, 2012, 07:21:59 pm
He'll be fine. He can just slip and fall into a Lifeboat.

and then get a taxi into town (allegedly)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 22, 2012, 07:55:45 pm
Don't worry at the point when this blog is holed below the waterline I'll be the last to jump ship... what do you mean that's already happened?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 23, 2012, 01:04:49 pm
Exciting, and a potential alternative set of models for LOTR players...

http://thelordoftherings.lego.com/en-us/default.aspx (http://thelordoftherings.lego.com/en-us/default.aspx)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 23, 2012, 01:09:48 pm
Wicked!!! I'm kinda surprised it took them this long though...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 23, 2012, 02:11:24 pm
I know, thankfully they haven't thought of Star Trek LEGO yet - else I would be insolvent!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 25, 2012, 09:09:52 am
Update 40 – Wednesday 25th January 2012: I have a Confession to Make...

Don't worry I am not harassing you to vote! Yes the good news people is that The 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards are over, finished, completed for good, well at least until the 2012 version.

In the meantime I thought I'd share some musings I've had, impart some knowledge if you like – no you can't ask for the cash instead, this is all that's available.

I was reading last month's (December's) edition of the White Dwarf here's a picture in case you don't believe me (I am not sure why you wouldn't):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1845.jpg)

During this reading of the White Dwarf, I came across an interesting article – no that's not one of my jokes, this bit is serious. In actual fact I'm going to take this as an opportunity to go off on my possibly my first tangent of 2012 to say that I quite like The White Dwarf. I generally find it a good read, that fills a few tube journeys with interest (no more, but no less than any other magazine). Obviously 2011 has been a bumper year for Warhammer news, so with 2012 being the 25th anniversary of Warhammer 40,000 there might be a few less pages of interests and exciting releases but still, at least I'm not a Lord of the Rings player with my one article a month. Still Lord of the Rings fan don't be downhearted because there's this exciting news:

http://thelordoftherings.lego.com/en-us/default.aspx (http://thelordoftherings.lego.com/en-us/default.aspx)

I know I put this link up earlier in the week, but it's so exciting it deserves a second mention!

Back to the point, I know shocking, but if I don't we'll never get there. In December's White Dwarf I was reading the Blanchitsu, a variant on the regular Standard Bearer feature, written by Games Workshop Art Director John Blanche – hence the name, though if you hadn't worked that out for yourself you probably shouldn't be applying for the next series of Mastermind.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2003.jpg)

In the article John talks about how there is no "right" style of painting, comparing someone who tends to paint with a very neat painting style to someone who tends to paint with a very dark and somewhat grubbier painting style.

This got me thinking about my own painting and modelling style, which I'd say is kind of neat and "out of the box". Generally my models are neatly painted to a reasonable style, nothing amazing, but hopefully nothing too shabby. And as someone, who once said to me "Don't you ever use models for exactly what they are intended for?", correctly identified I tend not to go for massive conversions, my models are very much what you see is what you get in that they are built as pictured on the box with only a limited flourish for conversions and kit bashing. And the painting further matches this in the sense that it tends to represent generic armies from a particular race rather than being heavily painted to represent a specific named group/tribe/army etc.

There are a couple of reasons for this, one is that I don't really want to spend too much time kit-bashing, and themeing every model in my army. Now and again some extra details or conversions on a character or large model are fine, but I don't really have the inclination or am willing to invest the time to heavily theme or model every warrior in a rank-and-file unit. Often this may result in me buying some models people generally avoid, citing them as being too expensive or not great models, as I'd rather pay for something that saves me the time and thought required to come up with a suitable conversion. The other reason for my generic painting is that I like to be able to use my army to represent any army in any scenario, and not feel it's constrained. For example if my High Elves had been painted as a fully Caledorian force with lots of Dragons and Dragon-themed conversions (as Noah's planning to do – which sounds amazing), I'd feel a bit odd using it to represent an general High Elf force cobbled together to repel a Dark Elf invasion or in a scenario set in Chrace. Whereas generic armies allow you to put them in any themed situation and they'll fit well enough.

My most heavily themed army is my Warriors of Chaos who all bare the mark of Tzeentch. And whilst I like the character it gives the army, there are moments when I pore over the Games Workshop website, as we all do, and wonder if I should add contingents of the other three gods, just in case I'm representing a unified Chaos force, perhaps in some kind of full on invasion of the Dark Gods.

As another tangent I think this is why I like painting Special Characters so much, they give me an opportunity to do some specific themeing on the odd model, but still fit into my generic army.

I think what I found interesting about the article was that it validated the fact that I have chosen to paint and model my army this way, and that this is right, because it is what is right for me. It was kind of like a bulls**t inspiring Oprah Winfrey style speech.

It also got me thinking about the other ways in which we're different. Just as there are different ways to approach painting and modelling, there are different ways to approach gaming. Some people play to win concocting the most devious army lists they can throw at their opponent, some play for fun taking the weirdest most bonkers list they can come up with, and most people play somewhere in-between those extremes. None of these are necessarily wrong, though I'd argue some are more appropriate than others dependent on the setting/opponent.

In fact there's just as many approaches to hobbying in general, from collecting every army you can, to collecting a smattering of units from many different armies. And from painting the biggest army you can, to painting just the odd character, to fielding unassembled and unpainted units. All of which are "right" for the "right" person, just different.

So what I'm trying to say is that we're all different, and it's okay to be different, and because of that I feel ok, telling you what I'm about to tell you. But please whatever you do, don't judge, because remember it's okay to be different. Just as you paint, game, model and collect differently to your opponent we're all different in our special ways. And it's about time I shared a big difference between me and all of you.

So, I'll take a deep breath as I tell you...

[spoiler]
...I bought and painted some Silver Helms, and I intend to use them as Silver Helms!!!

Look I know they're rubbish in combat, (though in fairness since I last used them they get to reroll most rolls to hit and fight in two ranks) and I know Dragon Princes are a better choice, and I know any self-respecting general would never take them. But as we discussed above, everyone's different. I'm not a hobbyist trying to win every game I play, instead I am a more of a collector-painter who has a side line playing fun games. I wanted some Silver Helms as they're one of the few units not in my army, they're good enough models and they fill a slot in my army roster. So don't judge me.

We shall say no more about my awful choice for the Silver Helms, there shall be no mocking, understand?

Instead I present a painting guide for them:

Stage 1 – Silver Helms

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1574.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1576.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1589.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1595.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
Horse Flesh: 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey
Mane: Drybrush 1:1 Chaos Black : Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Saddle, Sheaths and Leather: Scorched Brown
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Wood: Khemri Brown
Rider Flesh: Dwarf Flesh

Stage 2 – Silver Helms

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1623.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1628.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1647.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1653.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Layer Codex Grey, then wash Badab Black
Mane: Drybrush Codex Grey, then wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Saddle, Sheaths and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: Layer Ice Blue
Wood: Layer watered down Graveyard Earth
Rider Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh

Stage 3 – Silver Helms

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1668.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1671.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1679.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1689.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Highlight Codex Grey
Mane: Drybrush Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Saddle, Sheaths and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Wood: Layer watered down Bleached Bone
Rider Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh

Stage 4 – Silver Helms

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2012.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2014.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2020.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2023.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, and flock with Citadel Grass
Hooves: Highlight Fortress Grey
Horse Flesh: Highlight Fortress Grey
Mane: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver
Saddle, Sheaths and Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Rider Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2024.jpg)

I painted the feathers in the Champion's headdress to match the Great Eagles from my army (as in the Silver Helm entry in Warhammer Armies: High Elves it says that the High Helm is allowed to wear the feathers of an Eagle). I like little details like this where little colours and techniques are repeatedly occasionally in the army. Here's how they were done:

Stage 1:

White Feathers: 1:1 Khemri Brown: Bleached Bone
Black Feathers: Chaos Black

Stage 2:

White Feathers: Wash with Gryphonne Sepia then Drybrush Bleached Bone
Black Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Chaos Black: Kommando Khaki

Stage 3:

White Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Black Feathers: Drybrush Kommando Khaki

Stage 4:

White Feathers: Drybrush Skull White
Black Feathers: *NO CHANGE*

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2016.jpg)

The banner, and runes on the blank shields, were all copied from Warhammer Armies: High Elves, initially drawing them in the darkest blue then highlighting up in the same way as the other blue parts listed above.

[/spoiler]

So there you go, I leave you on that deep dark secret. Hopefully you found this blog informative, I realise it's not that funny! Until next week when I may actually do a proper Warhammer blog, maybe even with some jokes in... don't hold your breath.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on January 25, 2012, 10:50:30 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on January 25, 2012, 09:09:52 am
I know Dragon Princes are a better choice, and I know any self-respecting general would never take them

What are you talking about, I take silver hel... oh wait, I've confused my self for a self respecting general again havent I?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 25, 2012, 12:42:30 pm
Quote from: noahtonkin on January 25, 2012, 10:50:30 am
What are you talking about, I take silver hel... oh wait, I've confused my self for a self respecting general again havent I?!

Pretty much everytime I field them, I place them on the table and my opponent goes "They're Dragon Princes, right?" and when I correct them, it's generally followed by an awful lot of laughter.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 09:15:52 am
Update 41 – Thursday 26th January 2012: Want to come clubbing? Unless it involves bludgeoning baby seals to death, NO!

In a bid to establish the difference between mine and Noah's excellent High Elf blog, I now subject you to the following 5 minute rant which has nothing to do with High Elves. Enjoy!

What on earth is the point of clubbing? What am I missing? Is the part of my brain that appreciates clubbing simply not functioning? I just don't get it. You pay a small fortune to use it, cram yourself into an overcrowded area where you get shoved about by other people, have to put up with listening to awful music, have limited toilet facilities, the chances of getting a seat are remote and you'll leave the place dripping in sweat. In all regards it is exactly like your morning commute on the Northern line except for the one small detail you don't actually end up going anyway. That's right you are re-enacting the morning commute, but without commuting. What is wrong with you people?!

If you're reading this and are under 18, you might not know what I am talking about. Consider yourself lucky. Those bouncers on the door aren't doing you a disservice by not letting you in; they are saving you from a horrible fate. Stop trying to fake ID, flutter your eyelids or look more grown-up, you are only wishing a despicable evening of disappointment on yourself.

You might think this grumpy nature is due to the fact I'm getting on a bit, and whilst I am getting on a bit I can assure you I've never enjoyed clubbing. I've been with friends in sixth form, I've been with university friends, I've been with work colleagues, I've been in my late teens, I've been in my early twenties, I've been in my late twenties, and the only times I've ever enjoyed clubbing is when I've been paralytically drunk. Literally so  off my face I'd have a good time wherever I was, I might as well have been locked in a burning Biffa bin at a lock-up in Croydon. I'd still have had fun because I was so drunk that I was unaware of my surroundings.

Really is that the secret to clubbing that I've missed all these years? Is the only reason it is enjoyable is because any sense of taste and reason have been destroyed? Be it by alcohol, drugs or the worst toxin of them all love, unless you're up to your eyeballs on some combination of these you'll hate clubbing. And if you are, you're so unaware of you're surroundings you'd probably have just as much fun being mauled by a pack of hungry rottweilers in a septic tank connected to the diarrhoea ward of your local hospital.

"Oh but you should go clubbing, you might pull?", or so the idiots cry, I could count the number of times I've pulled in a club on one hand, even if I had a tragic accident involving an out of control threshing machine. Don't get me wrong, it's not for the want of trying. I've ground my hips up against some attractive specimen in a desperate bid to prove to them that the reason they should choose to spend the rest of their life with me isn't due to my intelligence, ability to provide witty conversation, amount of money I own or how nice a person I am, but is instead due to my ability to gyrate my hips to the latest number by the Black Eyed Peas. Not because this is in any way logical, but apparently because this moronic act of patheticness is how "dating" works. I've tried flashing a smile at a potential suitor, but usually they call a steward over because they think I'm having a stroke. I've tried making eye contact with a potential target, but as soon as I lock onto them with my eyeballs they are forced to glance elsewhere, it's as if our eyes are like two magnets of the same polarity forced never to be aligned due to the epoch shattering forces on display. Hell, I've even tried jumping up and down with a giant placard saying "for god's sake won't anyone date me please". All that manages to do is get the token bald, one-eyed, seventy-five year old homeless person, that all clubs seem to be legally obliged to employ to stand in the corner of the dance floor, to lollop after me all night with a blood rage in their eyes. You know that look that means should they ever get within touching distance of you, they will rape you and infect you with dry rot.

Combine all these factors in and you'll see exactly why it is hell! Firstly the fact that the floor of every club is stickier than a box of tissues in a 15 year old boy's bedroom. Secondly all nightclub toilets seem to operate on some communal urine pool system. Thirdly on entry you're forced to pay a pound to enter a raffle you don't want to enter, where the best you can possibly do is win your own coat back at the end of the evening – there's reasonable chance you won't even be that lucky. Fourthly until someone invents a live subtitling app for the iPhone it's impossible to have a conversation with any of your friends there because regardless of where in the club you stand, you will always end up rammed up against a speaker bumping puerile pop trash into your brain at a level so intense your ears are about to melt. Fifthly entry to the club requires your arm to be branded like cattle, with an ink stamp that will only come off when you scrub the skin clean off with a scouring pad. As you can see clubbing really isn't my cup of tea in any shape or form, in fact I'd rather lower my scrotum into a tank of piranha fish than go clubbing. Oh and if I am clubbing with you, stop moaning that I look miserable, I am miserable, I'm clubbing it's s**t. I could only be having a worse evening if I'd accidentally got my nipples caught in a cheese grater. Forcing a false smile onto my face will not improve the situation or lift the cloud of doom circling above my head.

At this point you'd probably be thinking "Given all these reasons to hate clubbing, why do you go?", and you'd be right to think that. It is utter madness, but the problem with clubbing, is that clubbing is universally seen as cool. And any person who doesn't like clubbing is seen as the world's biggest loser, who deserves to live the rest of their days in solitary confinement as they clearly don't have the capacity to enjoy themselves in the company of others. It doesn't matter that I am happy to go for a meal, have a coffee, go for a drink, see a film at the cinema or even spend an evening round a friend's house or any number of other social activities, if I don't want to go clubbing I'm boring. Because clubbing is the universal definition of the epitome of enjoyment, the pinnacle of pleasure and social interaction, so clearly everyone must enjoy it.

Well guess what people? I've got news for you. We don't enjoy the same things. I get pleasure out of knowing that my CD collection is in alphabetical order, that doesn't mean I expect you to come round my house and sort my CDs whilst standing in an inch deep pool of piss at 4am in the morning, only to leave my house throw up and then have to travel home on the night bus of the damned. I also enjoying learning and reading about science, but unlike clubbing morons, I don't expect you to enjoy it because I enjoy it. If I get tickets to a series of lectures on quantum string theory, I won't declare you a boring loser just because you don't want to go. Somehow clubbing is exempt from this system of logic and acceptance of variations in tastes and interest, if you don't want to go clubbing your hen-pecked and bullied into, and told you must go because "you will enjoy it".

No more, I am making a stand on behalf of all those of us who don't enjoy clubbing. I am a 29 year old man, I don't like clubbing and I am not going any more. I don't care if you find it fun, you go. I'm not. I have to do enough things in my life that I'd really rather not do, without actively going on leisure activities I utterly despise, simply because society has deemed them fun. Personally I would rather lock myself in an airing cupboard with a bunch of 85 year old retired French teachers with a terrible degenerative groping disease and only the board game Twister for entertainment than spend another minute on a urine soaked dance floor.

On that note it's chucking out time, so in true club bouncer style – grab your coat, piss off, wait in the rain for an unlicensed minicab and make some bearded cesspit man's dream come true.

I am not sure the medication's working. See you next week.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 26, 2012, 09:38:48 am
So you didn't paint anythign then...

Nice rant, I'm a big fan of a sit down in a nice quiet pub where people can hear me too.  But I do also enjoy the occassional trip to a club when in the aforementioned state of utter intoxication.  Then I can take advantage of the fact there is a dance floor to get some exercise and slow down my drinking rate to help the sobering process along.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 09:51:55 am
You are sounding more and more like Charlie Brooker as you get older! Makes me wonder if you're actually happily married to a Blue Peter presenter!

On a related note, I hate normal clubbing too, much prefer metal clubs. They've usually got loads of norse-style benches to sit on!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 26, 2012, 10:02:23 am
Matt, we need to get you laid... big time!

Though that may lead to your blog becoming all happy, nice and full of rainbows. Hmmm, maybe we don't...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 10:18:29 am
I sense an impending 90s college-movie style set of antics!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 10:52:56 am
Quote from: Dave on January 26, 2012, 09:38:48 am
So you didn't paint anythign then...

I did, check out yesterday's entry - Update 40. It's just people get more excited about rants!!

Quote from: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 09:51:55 am
You are sounding more and more like Charlie Brooker as you get older! Makes me wonder if you're actually happily married to a Blue Peter presenter!

For the avoidance of doubu I am not married to Anthea Turner.

Quote from: Meals on January 26, 2012, 10:02:23 am
Matt, we need to get you laid... big time!

Though that may lead to your blog becoming all happy, nice and full of rainbows. Hmmm, maybe we don't...
Quote from: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 10:18:29 am
I sense an impending 90s college-movie style set of antics!

I'd never become happy and full of rainbows, even despite the forum community's best efforts to save me from singledom!!! Maybe we should act it out in a Dear Deadry style photo case book?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on January 26, 2012, 11:49:38 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 09:15:52 am

In a bid to establish the difference between mine and Noah's excellent High Elf blog, I now subject you to the following 5 minute rant which has nothing to do with High Elves. Enjoy!


Recognition! wow, I actually get mentioned in accepted blog!

Quote from: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 09:15:52 am

cram yourself into an overcrowded area where you get shoved about by other people, have limited toilet facilities, the chances of getting a seat are remote and you'll leave the place dripping in sweat.


Funny, 1st time I got taken to a club was at school with a then girlfriend, she wanted me to understand why she would always look knackered on a sunday morning.
The next week I took her to an underground punk club to get her to understand why I always looked knackered on a sunday!
Must say the experiences are similar, the only difference is if someone is being a twat at a punk/rock gig you can quite happily throw them into a decent sized mosh pit and beat the living crap out of them with immunity (please note, for legal reasons i must state I have never done this and do not encourage it, despite my previous comment)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 11:56:03 am
Don't know why, but I can't quite imagine Dr Noah in a mosh!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on January 26, 2012, 12:51:04 pm
I was in bands when I was younger, have been in my fair share! We used to do a cover of the tide is high and I remember saying "we'll only play the next one if everyone moshing quietens down so Ben can concentrate on the slow bit, but then go mental when we do!" we basically played the chorus really sedately then skipped the verse, went double time for about the right amount of time, then cut back to half speed, was amazing seeing a Mosh pit stop moving, then go crazy as you did!


---
I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=51.456801,-0.142317
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 26, 2012, 12:58:22 pm
I used to enjoy clubbing, I like dance/garage/rave music and there were so many people dancing off their chops on drugs and alcohol I could have a little boogie without feeling self-conscious because nobody would notice. I suppose the problem for me was to really appreciate clubbing you have to take ecstasy, speed, or similar which I never wanted to do. I wouldn't do it now unless on a one off reunion kind of thing. Like Dave I prefer to go a quiet pub to chat, I don't like having to raise my voice to engage in conversation.

Different people like different things, I don't like football, I really can't see how it grips the nation as it does, nor why people are prepared to spend lots of money on shirts that go out of fashion quicker than it takes a model to walk down a catwalk. I just let them get on with it, no point getting hot under the collar over it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 26, 2012, 02:02:48 pm
This seems like the correct place for this.

I think we already have a contender for the best headline of the year:
http://t.co/P0HbZAOP
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on January 26, 2012, 02:14:21 pm
Ooooo kkkk.
a diamond encrusted soda stream...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 26, 2012, 02:23:01 pm
Now I have 'Hihohihohiho' stuck in my head, and I'm really struglling not to sing the rest out loud!

I should note though that it can't qualify for Headline of the year, as it was posted in September 2011
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 26, 2012, 03:11:05 pm
I feel really bad because of laughing whilst reading a report about someone's death but the article pokes so much fun in the second half it ridiculous.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 04:04:41 pm
I have just asked around the office and discovered what a mosh pit is, I suspect it wouldn't improve my clubbing experience, a midget version of Gordon Ramsay on the other hand...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 26, 2012, 04:12:58 pm
you're kidding right?

Next thing you'll be telling us you've never had a plastic pint glass of warm piss thrown over you at a festival?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 04:22:34 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 26, 2012, 04:12:58 pm
you're kidding right?

Next thing you'll be telling us you've never had a plastic pint glass of warm piss thrown over you at a festival?!

I'm hesitant to say no, in case someone at the club decides I need an initiation.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on January 26, 2012, 04:29:27 pm
Dear god Matt! What happened in your Uni years? Did you actually study or something?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 04:34:08 pm
Quote from: Meals on January 26, 2012, 04:29:27 pm
Dear god Matt! What happened in your Uni years? Did you actually study or something?

Yesm I completed my physics degree so I could work in children's television. Didn't everyone do that?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on January 26, 2012, 07:14:17 pm
Matt I was wondering what you thought of my latest attempts to make scenery?

(https://p.twimg.com/AkGjHSSCQAECc_8.jpg:large)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 26, 2012, 08:51:49 pm
Thanks for that Annie, me deciding not to open the picture you tweeted at me because it was described as "just like my banner", wasn't an invitation to post it on my blog. I shall now have to have Procrastination by Numbers torched, and start the thread again.

As an aside Annie has anyone ever told you, you're a bit too lady-like? Just wondered if that had ever cropped up?

For those of you not understanding this Twitter banter, you can now follow me on Twitter (I may even follow you back) @ProByNumbers, where I shall be Procrastinating in neat 140 character blocks perfect if you don't have time to read all the above tripe. Plus you may even get to see sneaky work in progress pics of upcoming stuff. How exciting is that?............Tumble Weed..... Ok, don't all answer at once!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on January 31, 2012, 11:40:54 am
Wow, talk about missing the whole awards show - hadn't even noticed it had been and gone (hence my silence).

So, in summary - very amusing and fun awards, the responses to which have probably catapaulted some of the thread entries straight into the 2012 nominations already. Chuffed to win the painting blog thingummy, cheers to anyone who gave me a vote. Well done to all the winners and entrants, some wicked stuff in there; and I noticed my vote for worst GW model wasn't shown (Dark Eldar Beastmaster) but I'm assuming that others thought it was so g@sh that it didn't warrant a mention anyway... so, a win of sorts then  :thumbsup:

Well done Matt, awesome stuff, and I'm now saving up the money for a proper outfit for next year's awards.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 31, 2012, 12:28:35 pm
i dunno, didn't turn up for the awards and didn't even send in a pre-recorded message from his LA home saying he "can't be there 'cause of some charity/movie/current project/Charlie Sheen impression/house arrest"!

:wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 31, 2012, 02:53:52 pm
Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on January 31, 2012, 11:40:54 am
Wow, talk about missing the whole awards show - hadn't even noticed it had been and gone (hence my silence).

It's all happening on Procrastination by Numbers, you've got to log on everyday don't want to miss out!  :wink;m:: :wink;m::

Belated congratulations on the win, very well deserved.

Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on January 31, 2012, 11:40:54 am
I noticed my vote for worst GW model wasn't shown (Dark Eldar Beastmaster) but I'm assuming that others thought it was so g@sh that it didn't warrant a mention anyway... so, a win of sorts then  :thumbsup:

There were a few votes in both this category and best model 2011 category that didn't count, it's a while ago but from memory the usual reason was that on looking back in the White Dwarfs (when I was searching for nomination photos) I found the nominee wasn't actaully released in 2011. I believe the Dark Eldar Beastmaster was October/November 2010 which is why I disqualified it, but I'd have to check back in my log to be sure!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on January 31, 2012, 03:18:35 pm
I have always hated clubs / mosh pits / crowds / people / urine

unless i have been off my head on illegals and booze...

which might have happened once or twice

As for modern clubs, I would rather tear off my own gonads rather than be subjected to R&B which is all they seem to play in London clubs.... :sick;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 31, 2012, 03:48:11 pm
I love the random nature of this blog, anyone not paying attention would wonder why Ol is ranting about R&B, urine, and ripping off his genitals in response to Seb thanking us for his award (which was in return a response to Annie's interesting photography!!)

Hope you're keeping up people!!

Quote from: fatolaf on January 31, 2012, 03:18:35 pm
I have always hated clubs / mosh pits / crowds / people / urine

Incidentally I totally agree, particularly the "people" bit.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on January 31, 2012, 03:57:27 pm
This has just become a space for communal rage!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on January 31, 2012, 04:07:27 pm
It's a bit like one giant therapy session for all of us.

I have never knowingly 'moshed' (is that a word? If not, I'm coining it). Doesn't appeal to me whatsoever!

Also, Ollie, I agree on the R&B epidemic in London bars and clubs - even if I could dance, I don't understand how/why I would dance to it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on January 31, 2012, 04:45:15 pm
Surprisingly, I've never been a fan of urine. Not even once. Nope.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on January 31, 2012, 04:52:34 pm
I like moshing and jumping around like a lunatic. I've been so desperate before that I was seen head banging to Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz... more than once.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 01, 2012, 09:13:04 am
I thought about you when I read this, Matt

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/426597.page

Quote
Hi all,

I, perhaps, take too much of a perverse pleasure in this sort of news, but it has come to my attention that all unsold copies of Dreadfleet - at least in this part of the world - are to be removed from sale, collected and then destroyed. It appears the all-too-high-price point for this failure of a game has reached the level where GW knows they cannot sell any more and thus have decided to cut their losses. Space Hulk it was not, and when your main target is 8-12 years olds it turns out that nostalgia over Man'O'War, a game that doesn't even count as a 'Specialist Game' isn't a great selling point.

They did a similar thing after 4th came out, sending all the left over 3rd Ed boxes (and all those plastic Marines and Land Speeders) to landfill.

Make of it what you will, and, again, it may be a GWOZ only thing, but there you go. Anyone who is still craving a Dreadfleet fix might be able to find one in our scattered network of gaming stores (assuming you can find one of them), but otherwise Dreadfleet is leaving our shores, so to speak.


LULZ, Good work GW!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 11:55:26 am
Actually I think that's rather a shame,.... I know you'd expect me to love a good moan, but no!

I think if Dreadfleet has been the failure it seems to have been then we're very much less likely to get any non-core game releases from GW in the future. I've actually reallyenjoyed painting and assembling my first ship - more on that in the next few weeks.

I believe the quote is from Australia, although I know Dreadfleet came off the GW website last night, so not sure what that say - and Aus prices are much higher (in part due to that region's current unique economic circumstances). But I didn't think it was an horrendous price point £70 is broadly equivalent to what £40 was worth when I was 12, which is how much I'm sure similar sized games were then.

Anyway when people start seeing the Procrastinator is painting up his ships in the next few weeks more people will rush around the last remaining copies of this game?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 01, 2012, 12:12:39 pm
I got mine, built them a while back and reboxed it all up to sit in a cupboard for ages.  Still not played a game yet.  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 12:17:04 pm
It took me a while to get going, but I'm generally very slow on all projects! Not helped by splitting headache combined with road drilling outside. :(
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 12:57:47 pm
Not only has Dreadfleet been removed from the Games Workshop website, but all the posts pertaining to it have also gone. Sounds like they are ashamed of their latest child.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 01:47:18 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 11:55:26 am
I think if Dreadfleet has been the failure it seems to have been then we're very much less likely to get any non-core game releases from GW in the future. I've actually reallyenjoyed painting and assembling my first ship - more on that in the next few weeks.

Dont make Non Core-sets that have no heritage and no chance of any expansion, is a small point they should have learnt. So many other games they could have remade instead....
Quote
But I didn't think it was an horrendous price point £70 .

Matt, £70 is pretty much the absolute top end for high quality boardgames, look what you get for £50 in many top selling FFG boardgames, online expansions, 100's of figures, top quality componets, hours of gameplay, and hours and hours of playtesting..

NOT a game with a cloth board that snags, awful card components, only 10 ships and half a dozen missions, fate cards that ruin the game, a combat system that is pure chance and in no way down to skill, a wind system that is not play tested, a box that is not designed to carry the finished constructe ships, and no chance ever of an expansion.

I bought it purely because I liked the look of some of the ships and fancied painting them, but then again I did not pat full price for it...

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 01:59:38 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 01:47:18 pm
Dont make Non Core-sets that have no heritage and no chance of any expansion, is a small point they should have learnt. So many other games they could have remade instead....

True, though I fear they will do neither now. From a business point of view I can see the point of limited edition releases with no exapnsions. As once they're gone no warehouse/shop floor space and no further development costs - though in fairness this only works if they sell!!

Quote from: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 01:47:18 pm
Matt, £70 is pretty much the absolute top end for high quality boardgames, look what you get for £50 in many top selling FFG boardgames, online expansions, 100's of figures, top quality componets, hours of gameplay, and hours and hours of playtesting..

NOT a game with a cloth board that snags, awful card components, only 10 ships and half a dozen missions, fate cards that ruin the game, a combat system that is pure chance and in no way down to skill, a wind system that is not play tested, a box that is not designed to carry the finished constructe ships, and no chance ever of an expansion.

I bought it purely because I liked the look of some of the ships and fancied painting them, but then again I did not pat full price for it...

Neither did I!  :thumbsup: This is very good point, I am only comparing cost with what I bought as a child (in reference to the comment about 8-12 year olds) and not comparing with similar things on the market. And having not finished or played the game I probably shouldn't be commenting on it until I have a opinion built on fact and experience - but I like The Daily Mail am a very, very, very naughty boy!

Once we've had our trial game I can then slag it off appropriately! I am currently in rose-tinted spectacles land.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 03:24:08 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 01:59:38 pm
I am currently in rose-tinted spectacles land.

I was till I read this review from a guy I know who runs a very good boardgame review site...

http://thefrontlinegamer.blogspot.com/2011/10/review-dreadfleet.html
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 03:35:50 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 03:24:08 pm
I was till I read this review from a guy I know who runs a very good boardgame review site...

http://thefrontlinegamer.blogspot.com/2011/10/review-dreadfleet.html

Will this make me cry?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 01, 2012, 03:45:57 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 03:35:50 pm
Will this make me cry?

Its not good news I'm afraid.......... 0]]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2012, 09:21:26 pm
I read the review...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2204.jpg)

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 02, 2012, 07:52:04 am
The way you've balanced that box makes me believe you haven't actually thrown it away. I bet you rescued it and hugged it all night stroking its exterior and whispering how sorry you are to it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 08:11:41 am
It was too big for the bin, that is all!

I may have not really thrown it away
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 02, 2012, 09:01:06 am
It sounds like you'd better just bin the fate cards Matt... apparently "they're made of fail and AIDS"!

Don't want to put you off painting the ships though. You might end up with the only painted version of Dreadfleet in the world once GW have pulped everything, it could become a rare relic!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 09:21:59 am
Update 42 – Thursday 2nd February 2012: If  a Picture Painted A Thousand Words... this Blog Would Probably Have a Word Count of 2 Billion Words

By way of a quick introduction, I should first say if you're reading this on some kind of smart phone device, you may not be able to see all the pics or read all the text, so log onto a computer quick – there's a lot of pictures, so put down that ZX Spectrum! Today's blog features some painting and then my guide to taking photos, so the impatient amongst you may wish to scroll down to get to the funny bit quicker! Enjoy!

In amongst all the craziness of anti-clubbing rants, reviews of 2011, awards ceremonies and closet Silver Helm painting (ssshhh don't tell anyone), I haven't got round to mentioning the other bits and pieces I've painted over my extended Christmas break (lucky me). Yep I've been busier than a scrap metal merchant on the East Coast Mainline, and have painted myself up a Tiranoc Chariot, and two Mages.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2242.jpg)

You may be wondering where has Matt photographed them? This looks like an infinity curve, well keep reading dear friend...

Those of you paying attention to my New Year's Resolutions back in Update 34, you'll know that I was only three units away from having painted up one of every unit for my High Elves and they were Silver Helms (check), Tiranoc Chariot (now check) and the White Lions (not checked yet). So we're getting close. Really sad readers with not much better to do in their lives may remember the two mages I painted up back from Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves Week 18 update dated Wednesday 4th May on Page 33 of the thread (and people wonder why I've started numbering the updates), where they made an appearance in the classic feature What's In The Box?, whatever happened to that feature? Oh that's right it was crap. Anyway I decided that given my army only has a single mage, Wizbit, it could probably do with a little more magical support particularly as I may be taking the army to a Storm of Magic game soon (sometime in the next 4 months anyway).

The "blue-cloak" mage I attached to a base from a Warhammer basing kit, by snipping off his slotta base tab and pinning him through the resin. The other I decided would be a Dragon Mage in training as he looked quite aggressively posed (for an Elven mage anyway). So I painted him with orange hair, a yellow cloak and added the baby Dragon from the High Elf Dragon sprue to his base. Baby Dragon doesn't really sound right, what is the correct term for a baby Dragon, Dragonette? Dragooonie? Dragonling? I invite your better suggestions.

Either way here's some painting guides for all three for you to ignore. Get scrolling.

Stage 1 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers638.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers643.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers645.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Detail: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Detail: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Wood: Khemri Brown
Elf Flesh: Dwarf Flesh

Horses

Rock: Chardonite Granite
Masonry: Calthan Brown
Horse Flesh: Adeptus Battlegrey
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue


Stage 2 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers693.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers688.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers689.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Detail: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Detail: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth and Plume: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Elf Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh

Horses

Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Masonry: Drybrush Khemri Brown
Flesh: Layer Codex Grey
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Cloth Armour Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue


Stage 3 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers749.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers752.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers754.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers756.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers762.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Detail: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Detail: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Elf Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh

Horses

Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone
Flesh: Highlight Fortress Grey
Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White


Stage 4 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2177.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2182.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2185.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2188.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2196.jpg)

Chariot

Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth : Light wash of Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Detail: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Detail: *NO CHANGE*

Crew

Boots, Gloves and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Armour Trim and Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Elf Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone

Horses

Rock: Drybrush Fortress Grey then Wash Badab Black
Masonry: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Flesh: Wash Badab Black
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Blue Cloth and Plume: *NO CHANGE*


I again infringed Games Workshop's copyright by photocopying their banner and then tracing it across to my banner. I then assembled all the sub-assemblies with super glue pinning the quiver, spear and banner in place.

And for the mages:

Stage 1 – Mages

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1602.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1605.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1609.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1613.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1617.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Cloth: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Boots and Leather: Scorched Brown
Elf Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair Blonde: Dheneb Stone
Hair Red: Vomit Brown
Rock: Chardonite Granite
Skull: Khemri Brown
Dragon Flesh: Mechrite Red
Dragon Wing Membrane: 1:1:1 Mechrite Red : Chaos Black : Liche Purple
Dragon Claws / Teeth: Scorched Brown


Stage 2 – Mages

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1662.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1658.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1635.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1639.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1642.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Boots and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Elf Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh
Hair Blonde: Wash Badab Black
Hair Red: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Skull: Layer Dheneb Stone
Dragon Flesh: Layer 3:1 Mechrite Red : Macharius Solar Orange, then 1:1 Mechrite Red : Macharius Solar Orange
Dragon Wing Membrane: Layer 2:1:1 Mechrite Red : Chaos Black : Liche Purple
Dragon Claws / Teeth: Layer Beastial Brown then Snakebite Leather


Stage 3 – Mages

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1696.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1703.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1705.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1714.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1721.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Boots and Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Elf Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair Blonde: Highlight Bleached Bone
Hair Red: Highlight Vomit Brown
Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Skull: Layer Bleached Bone
Dragon Flesh: Layer Macharius Solar Orange
Dragon Wing Membrane: Highlight Blood Red then Blazing Orange
Dragon Claws / Teeth: Layer Vomit Brown


Stage 4 – Mages

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2134.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2130.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2140.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2167.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2171.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2151.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then Flock with Static Grass
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold : Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Cloth: *NO CHANGE*
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Boots and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Elf Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Hair Blonde: Highlight Skull White
Hair Red: Highlight Bleached Bone
Rock: Drybrush Fortress Grey then Wash Badab Black
Skull: Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone : Skull White
Dragon Flesh: Highlight Fiery Orange
Dragon Wing Membrane: *NO CHANGE*
Dragon Claws / Teeth: Highlight Skull White


STOP SCROLLING NOW. WE'VE GOT TO THE GOOD BIT

Photography Corner

The astute amongst you may have noticed a selection of backgrounds, camera settings and photographic ability throughout those stage-by-stage guides. So I thought it was about time I tried to get a bit more professional in my photography. To that end I've tried to follow the excellent photography guide penned by Annie, excellent in the sense that it explains her technique very well but also excellent in the sense it doesn't show any of the things that she's been trying to photograph which seem to commonly look like unmentionable male body parts.

In case you haven't seen it, here's a link:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2789.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2789.0) - which you can follow if you can put with Annie's avatar grinding away in the corner of your screen, very distracting!

So I've decided to reattempt to photograph the above three models using Annie's guide, let's see if they come out any better.

Step 1 – Setting Up

Step 1 is the location of a flat surface, which is easily done by sweeping everything from the top of the chest of drawers onto the floor...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2207.jpg)

Then I have to construct my infinity curve which fortunately isn't as big as its name suggests. Sadly I don't have any A3 paper to spare, and no masking tape to attach multiple A4 sheets together. So I've made some attempts.

My attempt with toilet paper was ruined when I was savaged by the Andrex puppy.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2209.jpg)

Attempting to take the resident five-year old's artwork to stick together resulted in a fight leading to tares and then tears. Awkward.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2212.jpg)

I found the reverse of a roll of left over Christmas gift wrap to be the best option.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2215.jpg)

Step 2 – Location

Now I've finally set up my infinity curve on a chest of drawers and attached to my bedroom wall, Annie mentions location. What I am supposed to do, take the wall with me?

My plan to photograph outside, the ideal option, was largely ruined by it being 8pm at night.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2083.jpg)

The next suggestion for a well lit room is a kitchen, sadly the only clear space I could find was the fridge (I blame last night's midnight snack). On the plus side it does have its own lighting.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2088.jpg)

So with those options exhausted I moved the wall and chest of draws back into my bedroom and got out my lamps.

I have two lamps, one isn't really daylight but pretty close – certainly sufficient for simple painting tasks. The other is a proper daylight lamp but has started misbehaving, its angle poise arm now always returns to one of a couple of positions, rather than being angled as placed. Perhaps someone with some more mechanical intelligence than me can suggest whether I'd be better off tightening the screws or something like that. In the meantime I have to bury it with clothes to stop the arm extending.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2218.jpg)

So with my lamps positioned as suggested to throw light onto the model from both sides, we're surely ready to go?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2219.jpg)

Step 2a – Camera Settings

You may not believe it, but I actually use a digital camera not a smart phone camera for most of my pictures. Problem is I bought this camera when I was just finishing school, which as any of you who know my age will attest was back in the days when black and white photography was in its infancy and cameras were the size of a room.

The main problem, above age, that my camera has is that during an unfortunate slipping-over-whilst-boarding-a-ride-in-Disneyland-Paris-and-landing-on-my-arse-whilst-having-my-camera-in-my-back-pocket shaped incident, there is a massive crack across the viewscreen.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2244.jpg)

Unlike Annie this is the only type of crack I will be photographing.

This massive crack, that's an unfortunate word, this massive gash – no that's worse, massive hole – again no good. This massive imperfection means that it is both quite hard to see whether what I am actually trying to photograph is in shot and to actually explore the settings on the camera.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2245.jpg)

Still I have managed to find the setting to turn the flash off, and a macro setting (the small flower) that's good for tiny objects.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2247.jpg)

And whilst I cannot find the one that features various different light sources for white balancing and the like, I have found the "Indoor" setting (represented by a bunch of flowers – don't ask), which I guess is useful for indoor lighting.

Step 3 – The Angle, Distance and Holding Still

My current construction has the tricky problem of where to balance the camera, as Annie has said my hands will shake – it's almost like she knew I downed that bottle of Vodka this morning. There isn't enough room on the chest of the draws for the camera, so I have tried to construct a tripod (with one leg) out of Citadel paint pots:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2225.jpg)

That has failed.

Then I had the cunning idea, they don't call me cunningmatt for nothing, of opening up the draw and using a few books to boost the height of the camera and extend the surface of the chest of drawers. Genius I think you'll agree well done me.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2246.jpg)

Because I've still had the bottle of Vodka, I tried to use Dave's technique of using the timer facility on the camera, if only I could work out where it was.... Oh look there it is the clock based symbol.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2248.jpg)

And there we have our photos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2249.jpg)

Step 4 – Finishing Off

I have even used the crop facility on Paint Shop Pro to crop my photos and remove the stray objects you usually find in my photos like Shakeaway Cups and pubic hair – often these occur because they're under the bit of the screen that's cracked.

As you'll seen from the billion photos already on this blog, currently causing your internet connection to strain, I have no problem using Photobucket to upload them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2253.jpg)

So there we go after a mere seven hours and the trashing of my bedroom, lovely photos of my models on the infinity curve next to the original photos done on the floor.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2250.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2177.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2251.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2167.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2252.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2134.jpg)

To be honest I'm not sure it was worth the effort!

I hope you enjoyed? Any thoughts, tips or feedback would be appreciated.

Thanks to Annie for allowing me to essentially mock her photography guide, without being annoyed or kicking me. Obviously as I write this she has no idea I have mocked her guide, but I am hoping by writing this it would be too awkward for her to suddenly turn on me!

Just a reminder you can now find me on Twitter tweeting randomly at those who electronically pass by, like a drunk sitting on a street corner. So please follow me at @ProByNumbers those who have this week have been seeing sneaky pictures of how my first Dreadfleet ships have been getting on. Lucky them!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 02, 2012, 02:22:08 pm
Is it just me, or does the trainee Dragon Mage look a bit like Charlie Dimmock...?

(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00868/money-graphics-2008_868553a.jpg)

(I don't mean that disparagingly to either Charlie or your model, it's a great paint job!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 02:26:21 pm
I think you're right that elven belt does give her a bit of an unsupported clevage look. Not sure what she's doing with her Tommy Walsh though - looks like he's about to breathe fire.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 02, 2012, 02:32:25 pm
You won't be surprised to hear I wasn't actually thinking of her cleavage... but now you mention it, yes!!
I assumed the other mage was Tommy, isn't that why you gave him silvery hair?  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 02:35:31 pm
The Dragonette will have to be Alan Titchmarsh then.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 02, 2012, 05:42:46 pm
I feel honoured!

And not insulted, glad someone took the time to follow it. You may mock the xmas paper, book/drawer thing, but its what I do (or used to do, I have a tripod these days ner ner nerrrr)

And I spat my sausage roll out (ooerr) on the train at your paint pot tripod. Got some funny looks for that.

your pictures do look a lot better. The carpet/wall thing is also ok, its a neutral background so blergh.

but yeah, stuff.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 02, 2012, 05:48:55 pm
This is your 15 seconds of fame Annie! Revel in it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 02, 2012, 06:25:00 pm
I am literally writhing in it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 09:10:47 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 02, 2012, 05:42:46 pm
I feel honoured!

And not insulted, glad someone took the time to follow it. You may mock the xmas paper, book/drawer thing, but its what I do (or used to do, I have a tripod these days ner ner nerrrr)

I never mock, just lightly illuminate the humorous side of life!

Quote from: Annie on February 02, 2012, 05:42:46 pm
And I spat my sausage roll out (ooerr) on the train at your paint pot tripod. Got some funny looks for that.

Excellent, it's been a while since I've caused any food based projectiles, and to be honest it was what I live for!

Quote from: Annie on February 02, 2012, 05:42:46 pm
your pictures do look a lot better. The carpet/wall thing is also ok, its a neutral background so blergh.

but yeah, stuff.

In fairness (as I was being silly in the blog), if I was able to position my daylight lamp better - bloody out of control angle poise arm, there'd be more light on the infinity curtain and then they'd look a lot better. Maybe next time.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 03, 2012, 07:43:50 am
I like how the firey mage is rocking out and showing the horns sign.

Also if you notice Matt blames vodka a couple of times in his blog, and as the photo shows he isn't actually lying!

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 02, 2012, 09:21:59 am
My current construction has the tricky problem of where to balance the camera, as Annie has said my hands will shake – it's almost like she knew I downed that bottle of Vodka this morning.

Step 1 is the location of a flat surface, which is easily done by sweeping everything from the top of the chest of drawers onto the floor...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2207.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 03, 2012, 08:09:44 am
Quote from: Crompton on February 03, 2012, 07:43:50 am
I like how the firey mage is rocking out and showing the horns sign.

She must be excited about some new water feature - if you believe the earlier comments.

Quote from: Crompton on February 03, 2012, 07:43:50 am
Also if you notice Matt blames vodka a couple of times in his blog, and as the photo shows he isn't actually lying!

Glad you like the little touches - this blog isn't thrown together!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 03, 2012, 09:11:06 am
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2254.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 03, 2012, 09:21:08 am
But how better to show your feelings for someone than a highly flammable carnivorous cartoon animal made by bleeding foreign children on a pre planned day?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 03, 2012, 09:51:06 am
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 02, 2012, 09:01:06 am
It sounds like you'd better just bin the fate cards Matt... apparently "they're made of fail and AIDS"!

I've got quite a range of gaming aids, they're very helpful...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 03, 2012, 10:01:26 am
Quote from: Annie on February 03, 2012, 09:21:08 am
But how better to show your feelings for someone than a highly flammable carnivorous cartoon animal made by bleeding foreign children on a pre planned day?

Annie - I'm not sure you're aware of my Valentine's Day reputation.

Quote from: Dave on February 03, 2012, 09:51:06 am
I've got quite a range of gaming aids, they're very helpful...

I was hoping if I ignored this vile quopte it might go away, it apparently hasn't!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 03, 2012, 10:10:16 am
on the photography thing have you considered putting a bit of white paper on your floor?

Would probably do the same job.

One thing that might get round your issues with the darkness of the desktop photos is if you can set the exposure time on your camera, not sure how standard that function is in antiques, but mine is default at 1/8 of a second exposure but can be set up to 1 second, means it pulls in much more light and if you've got it on a tripod/book jammed in a drawer then it won't pick up any wobble so will be nice and stable.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 03, 2012, 12:04:56 pm
Stick to the floor I reckon  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 03, 2012, 01:10:30 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 03, 2012, 10:10:16 am
on the photography thing have you considered putting a bit of white paper on your floor?

Would probably do the same job.

One thing that might get round your issues with the darkness of the desktop photos is if you can set the exposure time on your camera, not sure how standard that function is in antiques, but mine is default at 1/8 of a second exposure but can be set up to 1 second, means it pulls in much more light and if you've got it on a tripod/book jammed in a drawer then it won't pick up any wobble so will be nice and stable.

Not sure if I can change the exposure, could put on night mode, that will draw more light in hmmmm.

Quote from: fatolaf on February 03, 2012, 12:04:56 pm
Stick to the floor I reckon  :cool3:

Floor is easier! lol!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 06, 2012, 07:46:00 pm
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/header.png)

(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/1.png)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/2.png)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/3.png)
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/comics/valentines_day/4.png)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 08:02:45 pm
I don't really have any views on Valentine's Day. I hadn't even noticed it was that time of year again.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 06, 2012, 08:07:22 pm
I think you should have a sexy rumpus adventure with Andy Trampoline, take the boy out for a nice meal.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 08:23:52 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 06, 2012, 08:07:22 pm
I think you should have a sexy rumpus adventure with Andy Trampoline, take the boy out for a nice meal.

What on earth has Andy Trampoline done to annoy you? Why the hell would you want to inflict such an unpleasent event has having to have a romantic meal with me upon him? People have had more pleasant evenings during a mustard gas attack!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 06, 2012, 08:40:51 pm
Haven't you seen the joy of a twitter conversation between andy and annie, the sparks practically power the internet by themselves!

Hey, where are my quick reply smilies this just got difficult...
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 06, 2012, 08:45:45 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 06, 2012, 08:07:22 pm
I think you should have a sexy rumpus adventure with Andy Trampoline

The nickname Trampoline has just taken on a whole new meaning...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 08:48:35 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 06, 2012, 08:45:45 pm
The nickname Trampoline has just taken on a whole new meaning...

Jack Honeysett - wherever he goes a trail of filth and innuendo follows.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 06, 2012, 09:08:16 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 08:48:35 pm
Jack Honeysett - wherever he goes a trail of filth and innuendo follows.

What can I say, I just have a knack for bring in the right place at the right time.
Purely circumstantial guv'nor!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 09:51:05 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 06, 2012, 09:08:16 pm
What can I say, I just have a knack for bring in the right place at the right time.
Purely circumstantial guv'nor!

Hmmm seems a convenient excuse!

Has poor Andy Trampette seen this blog yet? I am concerend he will have shot himself at Annie's hideous suggestion. Can someone check he's alive please.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 06, 2012, 10:38:24 pm
I'm still here, if I kill myself it'll be more to do with the issues I'm having with my course.

Annie is like any other girl, she likes to tease. Concerning us having a dinner together, I imagine it would be like that scene in the first series of Extra's when Ricky is having dinner in a restaurant with another male actor, very cringing!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2012, 10:56:17 pm
Quote from: The Trampoline on February 06, 2012, 10:38:24 pm
Annie is like any other girl, she likes to tease. Concerning us having a dinner together, I imagine it would be like that scene in the first series of Extra's when Ricky is having dinner in a restaurant with another male actor, very cringing!

Starting to get that Annie is a tease!!! Yeah I think it would be a very unpleasent experience for yourself, I'm not very good in social situations!!

This is what happens when all the sensible people go out for a night gaming, us nutters can fill up the recent posts board with utter rubbish!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 07, 2012, 02:42:51 am
Who you calling a nutter?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 07, 2012, 07:42:39 am
More to the point, who are you calling Sensible? I saw both Lee and Steve at the club last night!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 07, 2012, 07:51:27 am
Yay! I count as sensible!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 07, 2012, 08:23:15 am
Quote from: Annie on February 07, 2012, 02:42:51 am
Who you calling a nutter?

Uh-oh she's starting!  :wink;m::

Quote from: Crompton on February 07, 2012, 07:42:39 am
More to the point, who are you calling Sensible? I saw both Lee and Steve at the club last night!

You may have a point.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 08:47:58 am
Update 43 – Wednesday 8th February 2012: I'm Coming Out – Scores 54 on a Triple Word Score!

And now for something completely different!

I'm having a baby. I'm dumping my girlfriend. A pet died in my care. I'm ginger. I have an unnatural love for royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell. What do all those sentences have in common? That's right they can be quite difficult to tell your nearest and dearest.

I think everyone in their life at one point or other has had difficulty telling people a particular statement, with the possible exception of Katie Price – who could perhaps do with developing the ability to not routinely tell us all about her private life. Get a super injunction woman, we're not interested.

The statement I've struggled with telling some people over the years is that I am gay. There I've said it. Though in fairness at this point I am only telling my computer, and given it's been the sole observer of my !@%$#%@ collection, it has probably already guessed. Apologies by the way if you didn't already know this news, as you will discover I probably wasn't keeping from you for any bad reason, extra apologies if you were a woman and was hoping that one day I'd be your husband – I realise that this post may be a bitter pill to swallow.

For some of you, mainly those who have met me, you may be wondering how I ever managed to keep it a secret from anyone. Well you're quite rude. Certainly in recent years I've never really had a problem in people finding out my sexuality, although if they come towards me waving a placard marked "Burn in Hell Faggots" I've found it best not to choose that moment to begin a sentence "By the way...". As it turns out whilst I'm reasonably adept in defending myself with some cuttingly witty remarks, these count for little against pitchforks and flaming torches in the Top Trumps situation that is an angry mob.

One of the main problems of sharing this secret is how you go about working it into the conversation? I don't consider my sexuality to be an issue, but it can be tricky to tell people without making it an issue. For example last time I started in a new job, where I didn't know anyone in the office, I had no problem on the face of it of telling my colleagues I was gay, but how do you go about it? I mean if I burst into the room, bounding between the desks shouting "I am a homosexual" that might seem a little inappropriate. And you wouldn't expect any of your heterosexual colleagues to confess their sexuality in a similar way. I could of course wolf-whistle at a passing male colleague and shout "Phwoar" but again that feels indelicate and may mean that the Human Resources department find out I am gay quicker than I'd anticipated.

I always figured it would be easier to tell people if I had a boyfriend, then you could at least answer the natural office question "What are you doing at the weekend?" with "I'm spending it with my boyfriend" which feels like a subtle way of announcing the news. Sadly, as anyone who has read even one addition of this blog will be able to tell you, I am not with boyfriend. My Facebook status has been displaying "Single" for longer than a branch of discount store Madhouse's window has been displaying "Closing Down Sale". It becomes less discreet and office friendly if you answer the question "What are you doing at the weekend?" with "I am out in pubs desperately trying to get a boyfriend. I am looking for a man by the way, that's right looking for a MAN! Get the hint". Not so subtle. So typically I've had to wait for colleagues to ask me the question, and this inbuilt waiting time only suggests to them, that I may have an issue with said subject prompting them not to feel it's appropriate to ask. A vicious circle of secrecy ensues.

Now if telling people you've only just met seems difficult, telling people you've known a long time always feels much harder. I probably realised I was homosexual at the age of about 16, after spending the last four years of my puberty wondering when the oft-mentioned childhood phrase, recited by elderly relatives, of "one day you won't mind it when girls kiss you" would come true (it still hasn't), whilst in the meantime vigorously pleasuring myself to the thought of male boyband members. Seemingly unaware of the actual implications of what I was doing. It then took until I started university at the age of 20 to be comfortable telling selected other people about it, (I am referring to the sexuality aspect, not the "vigorous pleasuring" aspect which you're probably wishing I'd been more coy about). The main reason it seemed fine was because, these were new people to my life if they didn't like it then we would simply not be friends – no real loss. As it turned out, no one I've told has ever had an issue with my confession, in fact I've been very fortunate that I've only ever bumped into a very small number of homophobic people. And usually this has been in the company of a much larger number of right minded thinking individuals, which meant that the homophobic idiot has ended up being the one shunned by the group – which I actually find quite fun. In fact I often like to vigorously pleasure myself thinking about homophobic people I've met, simply because you know it would really annoy them. Sorry too much information I know!

Whilst it might seem good that I came out at the age of 20, and now am happy telling people going forward, this does present a back log of two decades worth of acquaintances and family members that you need to update with the news. And this to me is the hardest part. It's not really that I expected any of these people to react badly to the news, it's more that the longer I've known them, the longer it feels like I've been keeping a secret from them, which makes telling them all the harder in another vicious cycle of secrecy. There comes a point when you wonder if it would just be easier to publish a pamphlet to all your loved ones, with a series of questions answering what they're likely to ask, with a small tick box at the bottom asking whether you wish to receive any more direct mail from the author.

Anyway I've finally broken the secret pact, over the last few months, I've managed to tell some key school friends, and my immediate family. Apologies if this blog is how I got round to telling you. It wasn't that I thought you'd object, it was just I didn't really know how to bring it up.

The biggest trauma was of course telling the parents, I sort of had an attempt at this a few years ago, I built myself up to telling them and my sister all in one go at the end of a birthday. Sadly at the point I was about to speak, my dad decided to go to bed, ruining the plan and I ended up half-heartedly muttering it under my breath to my mum and sister. Obviously they heard, but I can only describe the situation for me as feeling wrong, so utterly wrong, like I'd told them an untellable secret such as the fact I'd been vigorously pleasuring myself on their bed – for the avoidance of doubt I haven't, but it felt like I'd revealed something THAT wrong. Apologies that is the third time I've used the phrase "vigorously pleasuring myself", I promise not to do it again. Anyway the upshot was that in my mind I hadn't really told them and I certainly didn't go on to tell my dad.

As 2012 dawned I finally resolved I really need to tell the family, it would be awful if I never got round to doing it, and if my mum and sister knew it might break their heart that I didn't talk about it more or tell my father. So it was when I was at home over New Year that I decided that the 2nd of January would be the day I'd tell them.

As with all such things, the more time you spend worrying about the potential permutations of outcomes that might occur when you tell someone some big news, the less likely it is that there will be any discernable reaction. I finally managed to blurt out the phrase "by the way there's something I should tell you, I'm gay" over an evening game of Scrabble. The result of this was odd. My mum said "Why are you telling us this now?" as if the news had ruined her placement of a key word, my sister said "Is this relevant to the move you're about to make?" as if somehow I was desperate to place the word "Butmuncher" on a triple word score – just in case you were planning on using that word it's not in Chambers Dictionary, I checked. In response to the general reaction of this being inappropriate time I replied, "I thought it was about time I told you". To which my mother and sister replied "We already knew!" and my dad said "I didn't!"

So there we go I managed to tell all my family I'm gay, and create family tension as my dad now knows he didn't get told first, all over a single game of Scrabble Oops! Despite all my worries about what they might say, they said nothing. On the face of it this is the best reaction "I'm gay", "Yeah and..." but still whilst I'm sure it's for good reasons I find it odd they had nothing to say no questions, nothing. As if there's still an elephant in the room and one day we're going to have the awkward questions. Or maybe they just realise how terminally single I am, and figure it doesn't matter whether he fancies women or men, he's not getting any.

Oh well there you go even the biggest drama of my life - coming out, turned out to be dull beyond belief. Still it filled some virtual column inches of this blog. On that note I'm off to check the family will... just in case.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 08, 2012, 11:00:15 am
This is a really great blog update Matt, well done :-)

A lot of those experiences sound pretty familiar to me, so it was great to read your humourous take on them!
I also found the only reaction I've ever had so far to telling people I'm gay is "Yeah, and...?"

I bet it's much harder to tell your family you have a crush on Nicholas Witchell. Thankfully I've never had to do that...






(...it's just my little secret)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 08, 2012, 11:17:59 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 08:47:58 am

extra apologies if you were a woman and was hoping that one day I'd be your husband – I realise that this post may be a bitter pill to swallow.


:endit: /\0 :search:

I knew it! I knew it! They're always married or gay  :endit:


-----

On a serious note, yeah well done Matt, can't have been easy, I'm pretty sure nobody from OG will give two figs, and anyone who does have a problem, I'll fist them. Posts like this are always good as theres always going to be at least one person who reads it and thinks "wow, I could have written that".

---

Right off to vigourously pleasure myself to the thought of your dad.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 08, 2012, 12:13:24 pm
will people stop saying "vigouously pleasuring", it's really putting me off my pie!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 08, 2012, 12:22:10 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 08:47:58 am
The statement I've struggled with telling some people over the years is that I am gay.

At Fecking last.................... :thumbsup:


Quote from: maelzch on February 08, 2012, 12:13:24 pm
will people stop saying "vigouously pleasuring", it's really putting me off my pie!

Genuine lol
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 08, 2012, 12:22:54 pm
Is it putting you off vigorously pleasuring yourself with a pie?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 08, 2012, 12:25:53 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 08, 2012, 12:22:54 pm
Is it putting you off vigorously pleasuring yourself with a pie?

:sick;m:

New OG Forum rule: All talk of Pie abuse if verbotten........ :daredulerules:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 08, 2012, 12:30:35 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 08, 2012, 12:25:53 pm
:sick;m:

New OG Forum rule: All talk of Pie abuse if verbotten........ :daredulerules:

agreed! poor, poor pies!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 08, 2012, 12:37:48 pm
Matt has taken a long time and a lot of courage to come out as gay, and it's already derailed into pie shagging, kinda sums up OG Games in general I think.  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 08, 2012, 12:40:03 pm
Grats Matt on finally getting a tough conversation out of the way. And thanks Annie, now I have a terrible image of Lee doing bad things to a pie...

Can we please make this the new catch phrase?

"Come down to OG Games, it's vigorously pleasuring!"
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Loyn on February 08, 2012, 01:11:04 pm
Hmm, well I thought you had already come out soooo...ya.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 08, 2012, 02:04:37 pm
Quote from: Meals on February 08, 2012, 12:40:03 pm
Can we please make this the new catch phrase?

"Come down to OG Games, it's vigorously pleasuring!"

I wonder what Ollie will think about having this tagline linked to his webstore!
People might think he's running a porn emporium.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 08, 2012, 02:33:49 pm
But it does sell the hottest new plastic toys?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 08, 2012, 02:35:49 pm
Certainly gives new meaning to buying an army of Woodies
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 02:36:30 pm
I don't know you write a funny piece about a thing that happened the other day and everyone goes a bit crazy!

Err... this was actually meant to be more of a funny piece than a grand announcement (though I can see how it reads that way!) I presumed you'd all guessed due to my obession with brightly coloured milkshake cartons and my inability to spell "clitoris".

Either way I thank you all for the kind words, to be honest I was a bit relieved when it turned to smut it all got a bit much! lol! And special thanks to the nice PMs people have sent me, no cash yet which is a bit disappointing, but fingers crossed for tomorrow's post.  :wink;m::

Quote from: fatolaf on February 08, 2012, 12:22:10 pm
At Fecking last.................... :thumbsup:

Well as I said in the blog, what was I supposed to do Ol prance between gaming tables shouting "I'm a homosexual"? Ha ha ha

Anyway once again thanks again for all the kind words, I hope it provided you with an enjoyable read. I am not very good dealing with praise so I am going to go and be awkward in the corner!  :blush: But don't worry I'll be blogging again tomorrow with more hobby silliness and I promise not to discuss anything even vaguely serious!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 02:37:17 pm
Oh apparently the word from a woman's genitalia that I can't spell, you can't post on the forum. How about flange?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 02:37:50 pm
Flange is fine it seems.

That will be the only time in my life I ever utter that statement!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 08, 2012, 02:48:13 pm
Aaaand we're back to the forum standard level of smut!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 02:50:04 pm
Quote from: maelzch on February 08, 2012, 02:48:13 pm
Aaaand we're back to the forum standard level of smut!

Phew!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 08, 2012, 03:24:09 pm
Of course we knew... Ok I had no idea, but then I've never met you in person either so dunno if I get let off with missing it.  I just thought the milkshake obsession was normal. I love bananananananana (spot the word I can't spell) milkshakes.

And I wondered why you were asking about the word flange on twitter, I'm always a fan of it, so feel free to repeat to your hearts content.

ps.  In some vauge pretense of being supportive and all that 'i'm gay'.

pps. I'm not actually but did it feel supportive?   :thumbsup:  I'll do my own big announcement thing about something entirely unrelated and not on your list of stuff above in anyway in a couple of months, that way it will be less like I'm trying to steal your thunder.

ppps.  Mmmm vigorous pleasuring.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 04:34:36 pm
I appreciate your sympathy homosexuality!  :wink;m::

Enjoy the vigorous pleasuring!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on February 08, 2012, 09:30:44 pm
I all have to say is the choice of beastmen then high elves gave a hint.  :wink;m::

Also.....I really want some pie right now....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 09:58:06 pm
Quote from: sainthale1988 on February 08, 2012, 09:30:44 pm
I all have to say is the choice of beastmen then high elves gave a hint.  :wink;m::

Yeah you're right, god last time I went to a gay bar utterly packed couldn't move for the Razargor Chariots and Swordmasters of Hoeth dancing to Lady Gaga.

I have no idea what he's talking about either, but I thought it best to humour him.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on February 08, 2012, 10:23:46 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 08, 2012, 09:58:06 pm

I have no idea what he's talking about either, but I thought it best to humour him.

You know, that's what I think before I tell opponents what the my rules are  :))

Well done Matt.  Tbh, I had suspected  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 08:37:18 am
Update 44 – Thursday 9th February 2012: After Khorne, Nurgle, Tzeentch and Slaanesh the fifth god of Chaos is me having a hobby day.

Well whatever I write here's going to feel like an anti-climax after yesterday's blog entry. So you probably won't bother dragging yourself through the relative tedium of having actually done some painting, what a waste of time even writing this was. – I remember the early days of this blog when people were actually just expecting painted models, and were pleased when they got them, how our expectations have risen.

As always these posts look best viewing on a computer on the standard forum layout rather than your smartphone. Enjoy!


What a wintery week it's been, with more white stuff falling from the air than an aborted dandruff commercial. My Christmas Tree is so confused it's wondering why I haven't bought inside and dressed it up.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2285.jpg)

This also meets the minimum quota of one snow-filled picture that I must post online in order to be considered socially acceptable.

Shame really the snow couldn't have happened next week and ruined everyone's Valentine's Day. Not that I'm a bitter single person, but that would have amused me greatly!! I've already posted this picture once but it's quite funny, so hey ho here it is again:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2254.jpg)

Talking of bloody happy people, I should say congratulations to my painting friend Mr Shakey Shakey who recently got engaged to his lovely girlfriend, now fiancée – obviously I'm thrilled for him, and glad he's gone off to live a happy life whilst I'm left on the singledom shelf with only masturbation to keep me happy. Obviously.

At times like at this I remember the old adage, "nothing in life is certain other than misery and death".

Thinking it's probably best to move on from masturbation, and keep my hands busy with some hobby action.

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

With all the mosh pits, urine pools, Valentine's ranting, Christmas painting, awards and everything else you may have forgotten the point of this blog. I almost certainly have. But back in September 2010 I started painting up a High Elf army, and one of my resolutions for 2012 is to finish it. So, given it's a good opportunity to deploy my army and go oooo, here's where it stands at present.

Pictures look better if you click to expand them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2281.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2294.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2312.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2315.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2318.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2324.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2286.jpg)

In a bit more detail here's what we've got:

A – 20 High Elf Archers, with full command (245 points)
B – 12 Silver Helms, with full command (316 points)
C – Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
D – High Elf Monolith (0 points – obviously)
E – Archmage (360 points)
F – High Elf Prince on Griffon (468 points)
G – 6 Shadow Warriors, with Shadow Walker joined by Alith Anar (353 points)
H – Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
I – Great Eagle (50 points)
J – High Elf Noble (143 points)
K – 17 Swordmasters, with full command (360 points)
L – White Lions Chariot (140 points)
M – 50 High Elf Spearmen, with full command (508 points)
N – High Elf Noble (151 points)
O – 20 Phoenix Guard, with full command joined by Caradryan (580 points)
P – 5 Ellyrian Reavers, with full command (133 points)
Q – Korhil (140 points)
R – Great Eagle (50 points)
S – High Elf Mage (185 points)
T – 18 Lothern Sea Guard, with full command (259 points)
U – High Elf Mage (185 points)
V – 5 Dragon Princes, with full command (275 points)
W – 5 Ellyrian Reavers, with full command (133 points)

The points totals represents them kitted out with the equipment they are modelled with and a full compliment of magic items. Which makes grand totals of:

TOTAL ARMY: 4,849 points
LORDS: 1,073 points (22.1%)
HEROES: 609 points (12.6%)
CORE: 1,012 points (20.9%)
SPECIAL: 1,955 points (40.3%)
RARE: 200 points (4.1%)

Some things you may have noticed:

1.   We've come a long way since the 600 point starting army for Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves.
2.   Yes I have painted two units of Ellyrian Reavers – don't mock.
3.   Korhil looks lonely without any White Lions.
4.   Lots of Elves but no Dragons.
5.   Only enough core for a 4,000 point army, though I have maxed out on the magic items so could probably get a good chunk of this in 4,000 points.
6.   Surely I've nearly finished the High Elves?

All of these comments are fair and valid, most importantly we are nearly on the High Elf home straight – well we would be if some plonker hadn't bought this before Christmas:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1436.jpg)

But on the plus side, this box plus a few choice bits and pieces (second Bolt Thrower, Battle Standard Bearer and the odd special character), will be the army finished finally, hopefully!!

To bring you up to date with the last of the Christmas painting that I haven't quite got round to talking about, I have started work on a High Elf Dragon I got back in 2007 when the model came out (yes a second dragon in addition to the one in the army box)! This one I've constructed as a Prince on Dragon and to be honest it's such a good model I'm happy to do a second one from the Army box as a Dragon Mage.

I should point out the pictures I've taken of this model are awful, as I took them before reading Annie's guide – and quickly midway through construction!! I used the 'Eavy Metal guide in White Dwarf 336 as inspiration.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2287.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2292.jpg)

This article is available on the Games Workshop website for those interested, you'll need to sign in and head to the White Dwarf Archive.

The rider, wings, shield, back rest, banner and reigns were all left as separate sub-assemblies until I finished painting (I slotted some parts together for the photos!)

Stage 1 – Prince on Dragon

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers619.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers628.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers631.jpg)

Dragon

Base: Khemri Brown
Rock: Chardonite Granite
Elven Pillar: Calthan Brown
Bird: Scorched Brown / Beastial Brown
Saddle and Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Horns and Teeth: Scorched Brown
Mouth and Tongue: Liche Purple
Skin: Moridan Blue
Scales: Moridan Blue
Wing Membrane: Necron Abyss


Prince

Necklace: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
White Cloth: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Armour Trim and Blue Cloth: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Wood: Khemri Brown


Shield

Wood: Khemri Brown
Shield Field: 1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Phoenix: 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue
Coals: Chaos Black
Flames: Skull White


Back Rest

Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Padding: Scab Red


Stage 2 – Prince on Dragon

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers701.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers698.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers708.jpg)

Dragon

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Elven Pillar: Drybrush Khemri Brown
Bird: Drybrush Snakebite Leather
Saddle and Leather: Wash Badab Black
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Horns and Teeth: Layer Beastial Brown then layer Snakebite Leather
Mouth and Tongue: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple : Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple : Tentacle Pink
Skin: Wash Asurmen Blue, then layer 1:1 Moridan Blue : Enchanted Blue, then layer 1:3 Moridan Blue : Enchanted Blue
Scales: Wash Asurmen Blue, then paint Moridan Blue, then highlight Enchanted Blue
Wing Membrane: Layer 1:1 Necron Abyss : Enchanted Blue, then layer Necron Abyss : Enchanted Blue


Prince

Necklace: Wash Badab Black
Pendant: Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Armour Trim and Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh : Elf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh
Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth


Shield

Wood: Layer 1:1 Khemri Brown : Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth
Lion Skin: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Shield Field: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey : 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey
Phoenix: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer Ice Blue
Coals: Highlight Codex Grey
Flames: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow


Back Rest

Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Padding: Layer Red Gore


Stage 3 – Prince on Dragon

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers766.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers777.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers781.jpg)

Dragon

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Elven Pillar: Drybrush Dheneb Stone
Bird: Drybrush Bubonic Brown
Saddle and Leather: Layer Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Horns and Teeth: Layer Vomit Brown
Mouth and Tongue: Highlight Tentacle Pink then glaze 3:1 Tentacle Pink : Skull White
Skin: Layer 1:1 Enchanted Blue : Ultramarines Blue
Scales: Highlight Enchanted Blue
Wing Membrane: Wash recess Badab Black


Prince

Necklace: Layer Scorched Brown
Pendant: 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail : Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Armour Trim and Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Wood: Highlight Bleached Bone


Shield

Wood: Layer watered down Bleached Bone
Shield Field: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White : Astronomacian Grey) : Skull White then layer watered down Skull White
Phoenix: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue : (1:1 Skull White : Ice Blue) : Ice Blue then layer 1:1 Ice Blue : Skull White
Flames: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow : Sunburst Yellow then layer Sunburst Yellow


Back Rest

Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Padding: Highlight Blood Red


Now I haven't got to Stage 4 yet, I was all enthused but then disaster struck. I'd been planning to keep the wings of the Dragon separate for ease of transport as they slot in quite well. This was until one of the tabs broke off the left wing inside the Dragon. Oh! It's one of those annoying tricky problems that I don't know what to do with, it probably won't take long but I just can't face working out what to do. So the Dragon for now sits on the painting table next to the Warriors of Chaos Manticore which has been untouched for months!!

Blood on the Painting Table

With the Dragon abandoned for the time being, I need some more painting tasks to do. My flatmate happened to go away for a winter sunshine break recently. Lucky bastard! but on the plus side I could use the living room for some construction projects. Obviously I'll be neat and not make a mess at all in my flatmate's absence.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1722.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1725.jpg)

Not messy at all! In a desperate bid to try and fulfil all my hobby resolutions there I've constructed a lot of varied bits and pieces, see if you can spot all the following bits and pieces on the hobby table in a new and exciting game I've made:

•   Large scale reinforcements for the Beastmen Army in the shape of a Cygor – thanks Mr Shakey Shakey for buying me this for Christmas.
•   Pot of Cameo Green – don't think I've ever even opened this colour.
•   More Citadel Woods than would be sane to paint in order to make my terrain commitment.
•   A second rank of unpainted Dragon Princes (not the five already painted).
•   High Elf Archers skirmishing across the table.
•   A very tasty chocolatey biscuit I'm enjoying with my coffee.
•   Various bits and pieces of Dreadfleet ships.
•   Some movement trays.
•   More sand than Brighton Beach – I'm not exaggerating (it's a stoney beach).
•   LEGO magnets on my daylight lamp
•   A large tube of Smarties that I've been popping like pills.
•   A tedious article by Lorriane Kelly
•   Star Trek Deep Space Nine – the best Star Trek on DVD.

See wasn't that fun. No? Pah suit yourself.

I made up movement trays for all my existing High Elf units, which I've now finished. The Cygor, trees and Dreadfleet are on the painting table (hoped to bring you at least one painted warship this week, but I've been ill – nearly died, it was that bad, so couldn't finish it! Sad times.).

For the High Elves, tempting as it was on ripping the shrink wrap of my High Elf mega army box to do the White Lions (the only missing unit from my High Elf army), I decided to show some restraint and paint some of the other bits up so I'm not left with a whole pile of boring core units to finish with. I'm painting the 20 High Elf Archers to boost my core, not sure what silly banner to give them yet. And the 5 Dragon Princes to take my existing unit of 5 up to 10 (not sure what to do with the other 5 in the big box – 15 seems like a very large Dragon Prince unit!!). Fingers crossed they'll be finished this month. Here's a very quick guide to where I am now, which has the excellent bonus of being a repeat from a previous blog – god love repeats that fill up this blog - well if it's good enough for BBC Two...

Stage 1 – Archers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2114.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2117.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2121.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
Robes: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Sleeves and Trousers: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Sash, Feathers and Quivers: Iyanden Dark Sun
Hair: Vomit Brown or Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown
Wood: Khemri Brown


Stage 1 – Dragon Princes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2098.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2100.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2109.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Masonry: Calthan Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
Tail and Leg Fur: Codex Grey
Horse Body: Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Reins: Scorched Brown
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Blue Cloth and Pennant: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
Lance: Khemri Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh


And that's where we are at present. With Valentine's Day next week I'm sure to be in a bad mood. But if I don't slit my wrists hopefully I will have got further with the Archers and Dragon Princes, maybe painted a warship or two and perhaps even finished a Dragon. Exciting times – nothing to do with this blog, but generally it is exciting.

Oh and before I go, regular readers of the forum (and my Twitter feed), may have noticed a lesser blog :wink;m:: entitled "Maelzch's Mad Medley" http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=152.new#new (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=152.new#new)

Where Lee challenged the picture I took last week (of a Tiranoc Chariot in a fridge):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2088.jpg)

With his colder picture of a big Tyranid thing (must really become more familiar with 40K) in the snow:

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5244.jpg)

Just search on Twitter for #fridgebombing – all the cool kids are doing it.

Well I've gone colder Lee, here's a picture of a High Elf Griffon in my pants:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2373.jpg)

And everybody knows you can't get colder than my pants!! Hey hey WINNER!

Strange despite being a winner I somehow still feel like a loser.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 09, 2012, 08:59:04 am
I don't know how much of a winner that makes you!

not sure I can find a way to beat that coldness though
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 09, 2012, 09:32:52 am
QuoteShame really the snow couldn't have happened next week and ruined everyone's Valentine's Day. Not that I'm a bitter single person, but that would have amused me greatly!!

I'm pretty sure that if it snowed it wouldn't greatly annoy anyone on Valentines day. It would just mean staying inside, and vigorously pleasuring each other instead of some night out somewhere, which frankly is a win in my books!

Anyway, I'm so glad you finally added a Dragon!! When does she get her first rampage?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 09, 2012, 10:30:30 am
Quote from: Meals on February 09, 2012, 09:32:52 am
Anyway, I'm so glad you finally added a Dragon!! When does she get her first rampage?

She's already eaten Malekith the Witch King on her first outing - I think any future appearances will just be an anticlimax!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 10:45:22 am
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 09, 2012, 10:30:30 am
She's already eaten Malekith the Witch King on her first outing - I think any future appearances will just be an anticlimax!

Yeah it's very rare I take out unfinished models, but she did make an appearance in a Funhammer(TM) game against Jack, and yeah once you've killed Malekith how else can you improve on that performance for a High Elf?

Quote from: Meals on February 09, 2012, 09:32:52 am
I'm pretty sure that if it snowed it wouldn't greatly annoy anyone on Valentines day.

Really I think I've got visions of couples trapped apart by the snow, and girls sobbing into their pillows as they can't spend the turgid night with their loved one. But then I'm not a very nice person.

Quote from: maelzch on February 09, 2012, 08:59:04 am
I don't know how much of a winner that makes you!

not sure I can find a way to beat that coldness though

It makes me a #fridgebombing winner and that's what is important (I've come to accept I can't be a winner in life, so I'll take what I can get!).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 09, 2012, 10:57:37 am
Liar! Those pants are not cold, they're still warm from all that vigorous pleasuring!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 12:02:51 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 09, 2012, 10:57:37 am
Liar! Those pants are not cold, they're still warm from all that vigorous pleasuring!

I can confirm they are freshly laundered, hush the pottyness!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 09, 2012, 12:08:58 pm
At what point does vigorous become furious?

Nice Elf collection, I love seeing big armies all laid out like that.  I was most amused by the points breakdown with the very lonely looking 200pts worth of rares, but I guess the high elf book is always like that.

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 10:45:22 amReally I think I've got visions of couples trapped apart by the snow, and girls sobbing into their pillows as they can't spend the turgid night with their loved one. But then I'm not a very nice person.
A blissful evening of peace and quiet where I can get on with painting, sounds awesome.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 09, 2012, 12:23:38 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 09, 2012, 12:08:58 pm
At what point does vigorous become furious?


When it starts to hurt?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 09, 2012, 12:30:36 pm
When blood comes out?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on February 09, 2012, 12:49:32 pm
Quote from: Annie on February 09, 2012, 12:30:36 pm
When blood comes out?
That was going to be my answer... Disturbed minds think alike!!! :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 09, 2012, 02:34:28 pm
Im not sure where this thread is heading, but any more references to any form of solo pleasure will lead to a damm good thrashing.. :spank:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 09, 2012, 02:41:31 pm
(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/8/7/a36bf51e-8e1e-4c90-836b-e91d1772407f.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 02:49:59 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 09, 2012, 12:08:58 pm
Nice Elf collection, I love seeing big armies all laid out like that.  I was most amused by the points breakdown with the very lonely looking 200pts worth of rares, but I guess the high elf book is always like that.

Cheers! Anyone got any tips on photographing armies? - I found it hard to not make them look crap, get everthing in focus and fill the shot.

Yeah the High Elf book is very sparse on rares and those it has are cheap as chips compared to the new beasties and things. Their army selection really fits with 7th edition much better, when they didn't need much core. As they've got a handful of core as well, it's all shoved in the Specials section.

Quote from: fatolaf on February 09, 2012, 02:34:28 pm
Im not sure where this thread is heading, but any more references to any form of solo pleasure will lead to a damm good thrashing.. :spank:

I am trying to ignore it to be honest Ol (ok yes I started it), but any nice comments about my painting are more than encouraged!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 09, 2012, 03:18:21 pm
Your painting is nice  :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 03:24:24 pm
Thanks! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 09, 2012, 05:48:59 pm
You get busy at work for 2 days and it all kicks off!

Matt admits to being Gay.
Lee admits to being the basis for the film American Pie.
Tom admits to liking to eat pie (whether this is the same pie as Lee is left unconfirmed)
Jack posts lots of smutt (OK that isn't news at all)
Matt builds and starts to paint a dragon (which looks ace).
Dave fantacises about a valentine's day paintathon
And Annie shows of her knowledge of equipment to thrash people with.

Sheesh I should get busy more often.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 09, 2012, 05:52:31 pm
I never mentioned any such vigourous pleasuring with pie! That's slander, warm, gravy filled slander!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 06:19:27 pm
Quote from: Crompton on February 09, 2012, 05:48:59 pm
Matt builds and starts to paint a dragon (which looks ace).

Many thanks!

Goodness knows what next week will bring!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 10, 2012, 10:44:08 am
So with this weather, will you be outdoing Lees snowbombing Alice?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 10, 2012, 12:11:56 pm
Quote from: Meals on February 10, 2012, 10:44:08 am
So with this weather, will you be outdoing Lees snowbombing Alice?

Already done my friend, already done!

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 09, 2012, 08:37:18 am
Well I've gone colder Lee, here's a picture of a High Elf Griffon in my pants:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2373.jpg)

And everybody knows you can't get colder than my pants!! Hey hey WINNER!

Strange despite being a winner I somehow still feel like a loser.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 10, 2012, 12:52:50 pm
Pfft, It could be colder... how about in your pants in the snow?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 10, 2012, 01:27:22 pm
Hmm, not the mental image I was craving:

1. Walk down to street
2. Remove pants
3. Place pants in snow
4. place model in pants
5. Masturbate vigorously
6 take photograph
7. Get picked up by police
8. Try to explain to police and get sent to mental health institute
9. Show them this blog as an explanation
10. Padded cell.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 10, 2012, 01:29:43 pm
Matt's 10 step guide to how to get a warm room for the night in the bleak midwinter! :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 10, 2012, 02:45:27 pm
Quote from: maelzch on February 10, 2012, 01:29:43 pm
Matt's 10 step guide to how to get a warm room for the night in the bleak midwinter! :)

How's that become MY guide? I didn't post it!

Quote from: Dave on February 10, 2012, 01:27:22 pm
9. Show them this blog as an explanation

Under no circumstances could there ever be a situation where Step 9 is the appropriate action. As a side note surely Step 5 means I don't necessarily need to wait for it to be a snowy day! Sorry Ol, I know best behaviour!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 10, 2012, 04:09:59 pm
There still seems to be 'trouser shuffling' talk on this thread...

There will be some severe thrashings coming......... :spank: >:D:-)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 10, 2012, 06:12:26 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 10, 2012, 04:09:59 pm
There still seems to be 'trouser shuffling' talk on this thread...

There will be some severe thrashings coming......... :spank: >:D:-)

Sorry Ol, I promise not to use any more vulgar imagery until we get to at least Update 45. Deal?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 10, 2012, 07:56:34 pm
(http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3405/3413182914_10cf05029f.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 11, 2012, 12:28:04 am
I've just Googled 'fap' oh dear.

In fairness anyone who has read the blog this week will know I've never 'fapped' in the presence of a !@%$#%@. I make that joke myself, as I don't want anyone to get injured in the rush to make it!

Surely the topic of conversation must be due to move on soon?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 11, 2012, 12:30:41 am
Turns out the obvious synonym for 'kitten' isn't allowed on this forum!!! Right now come on everyone pull yourselves together this is a respectable blog let's not corrupt it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 11, 2012, 07:29:44 am
I like your elves.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 11, 2012, 08:16:16 am
Ooh, I have a new idea for a competition for you Matt - to rival such classics as what's in the box and how many chairs.

You can use a word which gets filtered out by the forum bots in an appropriate sentence (or inappropriate perhaps!), and people have to guess what that word was.

What could possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2012, 09:27:01 am
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 11, 2012, 08:16:16 am
You can use a word which gets filtered out by the forum bots in an appropriate sentence (or inappropriate perhaps!), and people have to guess what that word was.

What could possibly go wrong?

I've seen a problem here, given that the word I have written has been bleeped out, how would a player write that word down on the thread without it also getting bleeped out. How would we compare the bleeped with the bleeped?

That's not to mention the fact it's not really encouraging this thread to go down the less smutty route I'd hoped for!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 12, 2012, 09:40:17 am
Prehaps you just need to bang away with the latest update Matt.

Come in fast and hard with a thrust in a different direction - it may change the topic of conversation on the blog.

There again.....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2012, 09:59:31 am
Quote from: roland murat on February 12, 2012, 09:40:17 am
Prehaps you just need to bang away with the latest update Matt.

Come in fast and hard with a thrust in a different direction - it may change the topic of conversation on the blog.

There again.....

Clearly it just can't be done, I may have to burn the blog to purge out the filth and start again.  :cry:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 12, 2012, 10:14:15 am
I like your elves
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 13, 2012, 12:14:00 pm
Wow those elves are amazing.  Can't wait to see the white lions.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 13, 2012, 05:23:03 pm
Is anyone else really excited for tomorrows epic rant?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 13, 2012, 05:38:04 pm
Quote from: Meals on February 13, 2012, 05:23:03 pm
Is anyone else really excited for tomorrows epic rant?

Never ever build anticipation for anything I do, you will only be disappointed.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 13, 2012, 07:05:49 pm
Of course there is the chance that I may be in a good mood tomorrow!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2012, 08:22:26 am
Update 45 – Tuesday 14th February 2012: Happy I Have a Job Day!

Why don't we have a nationwide celebration, one day a year where we celebrate having jobs? That's right everyone who has a job sends one other person who has a job a card congratulating them on having a job. Giant displays would go up in windows two months before hand reminding people that they must buy chocolates, flowers and other themed tat to show those people who have a job just how lucky they are. Then on the big day all those with jobs would go out and have the best night of their life, enjoying a nice meal, a trip to the cinema, or even a holiday to Paris. Meanwhile those without jobs would stare forlornly at the festivities, cursing the unfairness of it all that they cannot attend. No matter how much they tried to avoid thinking about "I have a Job Day – Ha Ha Ha" (as it would be known) they wouldn't be able to escape seeing the merchandising, advertising and general hubbub about the day.

Of course we can't do this because this would be inhuman and insensitive. It's just one step away from locking up the unemployed in a giant animal enclosure, forcing them to dance for us naked whilst we throw scraps of food at them and cheer as they fight each other for every morsel. Though please don't suggest that idea to George Osbourne, I can already see Her Majesty's Government putting in a bulk order for chicken wire as I type.

No kind and thoughtful person would want to rub their current employment status in the face of a less fortunate individual. And no right-minded society would allow a national day in which this kind of behaviour happened. Except that they do, not in the case of jobs but in the case of romance. Yes that's right Valentine's Day is here again. In actual fact, I hadn't noticed, over recent weeks I've managed to navigate my supermarket blind so haven't noticed the large heart shaped displays hovering above every isle like an extract from the Ladybird Book of Autopsies.

Obviously it's still before three in the afternoon, so the postman hasn't been and I have no way of knowing yet if I've received thousands of Valentine's cards or if I have strained the Royal Mail to breaking point. For the sake of reality let's assume I haven't, in fact let's assume that my letter box has been opened less today than a branch of Lloyds TSB after 12pm on a Saturday. In fact the only way I am managing to get through today is by routinely placing pictures of happy couples in my handy home office-sized shredder.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2470.jpg)

I wouldn't really shred the nation's sweethearts Wills and Kate would I?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2474.jpg)

Turns out I would, there goes my knighthood.

Over the years that I've come to accept that I will never know the love of another human, and that at death my genitalia will able to be auctioned in eBay under the description "Mint in original packaging", that or very soon I will be getting myself a cat. But despite my apparent grumpiness on the issue, I have come to happily take my position at the bottom of the romantic food chain along with the other socially retarded individuals such as the Go Compare tenor and Justin Bieber fans. I am content in life, knowing that no matter how lonely I am, I will never have to share my dessert in a restaurant with someone who didn't want one at the point of ordering. I'll always be able to wrap a full double duvet around myself on cold winter nights. And the only awkward conversations about children I'll have to have, are if I'm caught abducting a baby from the local hospital's maternity ward.

I say I am content being single, I am content when I am allowed to wallow in my own self pity and masturbatory juices free from reminders of my own inadequacies. Valentine's Day does not allow this, a national celebration where the nation gathers together to point, laugh and throw stones at the single people. As if the knowledge that their genetic material is being removed from the gene pool isn't punishment enough. Rational humans, and I do realise I'm not one of those, may say, "Well it's just a day, ignore it!". Really try! Everyone under the sun wants to remind me that today is Valentine's Day. Just a walk along the High Street will lead you to pass a thousand different window displays filled with giant red hearts starring down on you like the Eye of Sauron, only marginally more satanic. I appreciate restaurants, chocolate shops and perfumeries need to advertise and rely on the Valentine's day business, but really do toy shops, chemists and estate agents need to fill their windows with hearts. I swear I passed the funeral director's last week and they had a giant heart-shaped coffin in the window. Is it me or does that seem a bit much?

Sorry please excuse me I need to shred another happy couple...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2460.jpg)

Sorry where was I? Oh yes, even if you lock yourself in your house you'll be constantly reminded of Valentine's Day what with television adverts telling you all about the special Dine in For 2 offer at your local supermarket. Mind you I did take that up – mainly so I could eat both meals at home tonight and get fat. Well it's that or cry. There's no escape even if you turn your television off, I clearly hadn't set my spam filter correctly as a number of Valentine's offers managed to get e-mailed to me. Including, and I'm not making these up, a Valentine's e-mail suggesting you buy your loved one something from eBay – I mean nothing says I love you, like second hand goods. Plus I also received this e-mail...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2375.jpg)

Yes that's right First Hull Trains want me to book a special romantic getaway to London, this is wrong on so many levels, it's virtually become the Empire State Building of awkwardness. Surprisingly the most difficult problem to overcome is not my singledom, but the fact that I would have to move to Hull to take advantage of this offer. I am not saying anything bad about Hull but I'd rather jump into the bath with a live three-bar electric fire under my arm than move to Hull. Apologies to anyone living in Hull. No seriously you have my condolences, still on the plus side if you want to move First Hull Trains have got some good special offers on. And if e-mailing and television advertising offers weren't enough my weekly trip to Sainsbury's was largely ruined by a repeated tanoy announcement beginning "Did you know it's Valentine's Day this week?..." – no how could I have possibly noticed what with the fact you've played the same bloody announcement every five minutes for the last half hour and the store has more pink bunting up, than at Elton John's wedding? Plus of course the cashier who upon receiving payment wished me a "Happy Valentine's Day", which is creepy A) because the cashier actually spoke to me and B) because f**k off, you're intervention into my life is about as welcome as those old school friends who haven't spoken to you for the last 20 years but decide it would be really good idea to upload an old class photo to Facebook and tag you in it. Piss off.

Sorry the vein is throbbing again...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2464.jpg)

Ahhh, that's better.

At this point some rational people will probably be suggesting that all this is due to the unwanted commercialisation of Valentine's Day, well no, normal people are bloody annoying as well – and they have no commercial need to cause vitriolic bile to rise to my throat. Public displays of affection are never welcome within my eyeline, but especially not on or around Valentine's Day. The escalators on the London Underground are not an appropriate place to do a quick dental inspection of your partners pre-molars using only your tongue – even if the staggered staircase corrects a rather awkward height difference that otherwise blights your happy relationship. And as for the couple in the queue in the supermarket this week, who had their tongues wedged so far down each others throats they were practically popping out of each other's anuses. Is it really necessary to also make a noise wallpaper paste being slopped around a bucket? I nearly had to run them both through with a frozen Be Good To Yourself garlic baguette.

Oh and please don't bring Valentine's Day into the workplace, if a loved one sends 24 red roses to your office. When all the single people say "isn't that lovely", what we're actually thinking is "Bitch" and wondering if we'd get fired for feeding the flowers into the shredder. One year, a girl genuinely arrived into my office on Valentine's Day and started moaning at me about how awful it was she had to come into work so early, because she had missed the post and would have to wait until she got home to receive her boyfriend's card. She moaned about this to me. Yes that's right to me. It's the equivalent of complaining to a person who has had both legs amputated that the shoe shop is closed. By the way if anyone is wondering what happened to the aforementioned girl, and why she stopped coming to work, you'll find her bloodied body hidden behind the photocopier. For some reason I felt the need on that Valentine's Day to repeatedly slam her head in the lid of the photocopier, that will also explain what the red mess on the glass plate was – just in case the police are reading this I didn't actually do this (except in my mind).

Oh and if you even think of commenting on this blog that Valentine's Day is just as bad for people in couples, it's not. Otherwise logically you would dump them, to make yourself happier, and you haven't – although if you have I would like to hear about that it would make me feel better.

See told you Valentine's Day was anti-social, inappropriate and unjust. In fact I've decided it would be less awful to rename this day "I Have a Job Day". So Happy "I Have a Job Day", unless of course they do find that body behind the photocopier in which case I may no longer be joining in with this celebration either.

On that note it's time for another trip to the shredder, bloody happy couples.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2481.jpg)

Oh alright, here's some maimed teddies...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2486.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2487.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 14, 2012, 09:01:08 am
Happy unimaginative, consumerist, arbitrary, manipulative shallow interpretation of romance day!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 14, 2012, 09:25:03 am
(http://cdn03.cdnwp.thefrisky.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/10/creepy_vday_card_m.jpg)

But the equivalent of I have a job day would be that you could get a job on that day! Is there a job you've ALWAYS wanted? well take today to send the company a card saying why you want to work there, they'll get so caught up in the excitement of Job Day they're bound to employ you!.... or turn you down in front of all your friends... those friends with jobs....damn them.

Meh Valentines, its a sale on chocolates and booze! I love lots of people, I don't really get the whole "You must only love ONE person!!!" thing (prob why will die alone) find dramatic displays of affection...creepy... and much prefer "Hey, you're my friend and I appreciate your existence, have a pint" on any day of the year.

I heard though that Palmer is going around offering people valentines pies. Do NOT accept these, as he has vigorously pleasured himself into them, and there is more masturbatory juice than gravy in them now.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 14, 2012, 09:30:07 am
Pies of lies!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 14, 2012, 09:32:31 am
Thats no bechamel sauce...!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 14, 2012, 09:59:24 am
YAY, Maimed Teddies!! My valentines day is complete!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2012, 10:42:38 am
Quote from: Annie on February 14, 2012, 09:25:03 am
I heard though that Palmer is going around offering people valentines pies. Do NOT accept these, as he has vigorously pleasured himself into them, and there is more masturbatory juice than gravy in them now.

I really must be careful about the kind of phrases I write in this blog, it's a bit like when you babysit a three-year old and say loads of things to them but the only thing they repeat is the one time you accidently let slip with a swear word!

Someone in my office just got really excited that they received a letter in a red envelope, imagine how I laughed when they opened it to find a belated birthday card!! Ha ha ha!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 14, 2012, 05:52:18 pm
Loving the teddies Matt - the pie concept not so much.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2012, 05:56:58 pm
Quote from: roland murat on February 14, 2012, 05:52:18 pm
...the pie concept not so much.

I cannot (and do not wish to) take any responsibility for the pies!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 14, 2012, 07:00:29 pm
I fully accept the pie thing was not you Matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 14, 2012, 07:08:45 pm
Valentines day in my house is a piece of piss as its the Wife's Birthday, one quick Ipod later, all good........ :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2012, 08:07:43 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 14, 2012, 07:08:45 pm
Valentines day in my house is a piece of piss as its the Wife's Birthday, one quick Ipod later, all good........ :thumbsup:

Valentine's Day here is simple too, big bar of chocolate, cry into my pillow and drown in my own tears.  :sad;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 15, 2012, 08:40:34 am
Update 46 – Wednesday 15th February 2012: Anti-Valentine's Day – The Business Pitch

I have a confession to make this post is a repeat, a revised repeat but still a repeat. Let me explain. I have another blog, I know effectively I'm admitting to cheating on you. But as you've always known I am a slag. Anyway based on the success of this blog you are reading, I started writing a separate blog for my other friends (yes I do have some) who enjoyed my rants but didn't understand Warhammer. Anyway this post here is a re-edited version of last year's Valentine's post from Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves, I've tidied it up added a few new jokes and shoved it up on the other blog as those poor people never got to read it last year. But I thought you might enjoy another chance to see the first annual maiming of the Valentine's teddies or enjoy it afresh if you're a new reader. Either way I hope you enjoy...

If you read yesterday's blog you may have seen a tiny hint of bitterness that I have on Valentine's Day. I'm not sure, it might not have come through, the writing was quite subtle. Oh and for the curious, no I didn't get any Valentine's cards - no surprises there.

Well today, the 15th of February I propose to turn into Anti-Valentine's Day. I know I am not the first, and probably not the last, to propose this celebration by any means, but I may the first to actually have made a full range of products – so dear readers I am looking to you for an investment of up to £250,000.

Just in case you're the kind of annoying happy person who has never thought about launching this kind of event, here's a quick overview. Anti-Valentine's Day is the celebration where we celebrate failed and unrequited love, bitterness and singledom. I think it's only fair when we already have Valentine's Day, and indeed represents a massive marketing opportunity, which in these harsh economic times can only be a good thing for the country.

First job is to get Clinton Cards onside, given they'd happily push "I am a Child Molester Day" if they thought it would flog them a few cards and some of those stupid grey teddy bears (though I would be interested to see the versions of that teddy that would be produced for I'm a Child Molester Day), they surely would be happy to jump on the bandwagon. Especially given there are lots of greeting cards opportunities for Anti-Valentine's Day. In fact arguably a single individual would be able to send a whole range of cards, rather than just one card to their only true love, because there's a whole range of unfortunate relationships you could, and probably, have had.

First up you'd be able to send cards to people who you hold an unrequited love for. For example the card could have the message on the front "Why Won't You Go Out With Me?" and inside read:

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You're responsible for the unfortunate stains on my bed,
And I'm outside your house watching you"

Touching.

Or for the person who dumped you, a card that simply reads "You Ruined My Life" and inside:

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I can't get the thoughts of you out my head,
I'd do anything for one last screw"

Or my favourite for the person who cheated on you a card that reads "Remember Me?" and inside:

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I want you dead,
And your new boyfriend too"

Like Valentine's Day cards these should all be anonymously signed for proper stalkerish effect, and to reduce the likelihood of the relevant authorities finding you. Personally I think this would be a genius marketing ploy for retailers because as we all know love may last forever but only bitterness is eternal.

But why stop at cards? Like Valentine's Day there's a full range of tatty merchandise that could be released for Anti-Valentine's Day, and the good news is you don't even have to imagine them because I've actually made them.

For the last few years I have been embracing Anti-Valentine's Day with my own Anti-Valentine's Day meal where I have cooked for a selection of my single friends on Valentine's Day, forcing my housemates in couples to go out for the evening and spend an inordinate amount of money on their partners – ha ha ha.

The below photos from my Anti-Valentine's Day meals show the full range of potential investment opportunities, in a whole wealth of tatty Anti-Valentine's merchandising:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2333.jpg)

Just as the heart is the symbol of Valentine's Day the shattered heart is the symbol of Anti-Valentine's Day with broken hearts everywhere.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2338.jpg)

To remind us why it's better to be single than in a couple, pictures of famous celebrity break ups are scattered around the dining room:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2336.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2340.jpg)

Always good to see Les Dennis and Heather Mills featured in the same vein.

Even the menu can be themed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2341.jpg)

With the starter being Bitter Paté, main course being Broken Chicken Hearts and dessert being Date-Free Cake – see what I've done there? Additionally shots are only available as singles. Oh come on that's clever!

It's important to make sure the door into the event is appropriately themed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2342.jpg)

Incidentally this image makes a great R.S.V.P. to wedding invites that your more successful friends send you. The bastards.

No Anti-Valentine's Party would be complete without a touch of burnt rose petals for the smell of your hopes and dreams burning:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2337.jpg)

Just in case it gets too much an appropriate emergency sign is placed on the balcony:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2339.jpg)

Of course you need some table decorations. Here's Valentine's Doggy holding a lovely heart and with a knife sticking through his chest, and blood dripping out of his body:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2334.jpg)

And Valentine's Teddy whose head has unfortunately been ripped off – the smug smiling turgid bear:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog2335.jpg)

I'd like to say no Valentine's Teddies were hurt in the making of these products, but I can't.

So there you go potential investors, the perfect celebration to get your backing. It's a sure fire way to make money. Make your offers, except Deborah Meaden, you clearly don't actually have any money.

At this point you're likely to be backing away from the computer, and thinking to yourself I probably shouldn't approaching the person who wrote this blog if they're holding a sharp instrument. And to be honest any good psychologist would probably agree with you.

Now to those of you, who think this is unhealthy and I probably shouldn't spend Valentine's night hosting Anti-Valentine's parties. I have tried. Last year there was no Anti-Valentine's night, primarily as my regular group of single friend invitees had pretty much all found partners, and those that hadn't, responded to the above paragraph. So in an effort to be positive and take control of the situation I signed myself up to a Valentine's network and socialising event, the idea being that as it was on Valentine's Day only single people would go. Thus you could all meet up get laid and live happily ever after – well that's what the brochure said.

The problem is that any event in which romance is being attempted to be artificially orchestrated will only attract social retards, like myself, because clearly those who aren't social retards can meet people they like in normal situations and ask them out without the need of some grand "shag me" event. Also I failed to realise the key plan that everyone else would do at this events, they'd bring at least one other single friend along, so they had someone to talk to. I didn't. So now we had a room full of social retards, no one talking to anyone, except within the pre-existing groups of friends. And the individual singletons, like myself, standing there in a corner on their own, either acting excited by a coat hook or pretending to read texts on their mobile. Seriously I ran out of things to do on my phone, I'd cleared out the drafts text message folder and reorganised my phone book all whilst pretending to read a text. In fact it was this kind of social awkwardness that encouraged to get a smart phone, at least now I can use Google whilst pretending to read texts to escape awkward social situations.

Anyway having spent £10 for this "exciting" event and drunk my free glass of wine, I decided, after an hour of avoiding making eye contact with the creepy looking people, I should abandon this lost cause. So my Valentine's evening consisted of wasting £10, feeling depressed about being unable to pull in what by all accounts should have been a dead cert – room full of desperate singletons on Valentine's Day. Then I went home binge ate a pizza and two cheesecakes and completed a level on Mario Kart. So there we go Anti-Valentine's is the way forward, and I look forward to reintroducing it.

Before I go and calm down and let my vein stop throbbing, I should impart to any couples out there the three golden rules that you should always obey when trying to comfort single people on or around Valentine's Day:

1. Don't tell us that Valentine's Day is worse for couples. If it that's bad leave them, you are miserable by choice, we are miserable despite our best efforts not to be. Your level of pain pales in comparison to our own, don't try and trivialise it.

2. Don't tell us that you and your partner aren't doing anything for Valentine's Day. How could this possibly help? What you are effectively saying is that you have a ticket to the Happiness Party we're not allowed to go to, but your life is so happy you don't need to go to the Happiness Party – this makes us hate you.

3. Don't tell us that "don't worry you're bound to meet someone perfect soon". Quite frankly I'm too old for this Disney bullshit - it's perfectly possible that I will spend the rest of miserable life sad and lonely with my only companionship provided by a group of dismembered Valentine's Day teddies. Fate has nothing to do with it, don't patronise me!

On that cheery note I bring this post to a close. I wonder if anyone will still approach me in public without a canister of pepper spray.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 08:58:13 am
don't worry Matt, you're bound to meet someone perfect soon
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 15, 2012, 09:03:28 am
You should get yourself out there more, have you tried clubbing?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 15, 2012, 09:40:36 am
Did you miss his rant against clubbing, Annie?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 15, 2012, 09:44:21 am
Nope  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 15, 2012, 09:57:44 am
what about going to festivals, surely also a good place to meet like minded people... Oh wait, that was on his list of hates too.

Just so I don't piss you off.  I didn't not do anything last night (double negative ftw).  I cooked dinner (confit of duck with wedges cooked in excess duck fat and veg) then watched 2 episodes of Madmen whilst drinking rum and coke.  Then she went to bed and I painted a bit of my Necrosphinx until she woke up having a nightmare of being on fire and I went through and saved her by switching her electric blanket off.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 15, 2012, 10:30:46 am
Quote from: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 08:58:13 am
don't worry Matt, you're bound to meet someone perfect soon

Quote from: Annie on February 15, 2012, 09:03:28 am
You should get yourself out there more, have you tried clubbing?

WHY I OUTTA?!!?!  :rant;2: :rant;2: :rant;2: :rant;2:

Quote from: Dave on February 15, 2012, 09:57:44 am
what about going to festivals, surely also a good place to meet like minded people... Oh wait, that was on his list of hates too.

Generally if it involves social interaction I don't like it.

You're evening sounds perfect.  :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 10:39:52 am
It's probably lucky I didn't have a Valentine's last night I had really sore chapped lips all yesterday...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 15, 2012, 10:50:23 am
Not good for putting willies in!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 15, 2012, 10:50:43 am
I sat on my own sobbing to a documentary about the 1980s aids pandemic in San Francisco.
I think that probably qualifies for an Anti-Valentine's day activity!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on February 15, 2012, 10:55:25 am
Quote from: Annie on February 15, 2012, 10:50:23 am
Not good for putting willies in!

:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 11:07:07 am
Quote from: Annie on February 15, 2012, 10:50:23 am
Not good for putting willies in!

Emo says what!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:11:13 am
My evening consisted of going out for 2-4-1 cocktails with my flatmates, and then drinking vanilla rum 'til 3 in the morning.

Suffice to say, my head feels like there's a damp mogwai living there!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 11:32:19 am
Quote from: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:11:13 am
Suffice to say, my head feels like there's a damp mogwai living there!

Did you feed it after midnight?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:38:48 am
It was fed soo much rum :/

Also, never really got that, it's always midnight somewhere. What happens if the clocks go back or you take a mogwai across timezones?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 11:43:29 am
Quote from: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:38:48 am
Also, never really got that, it's always midnight somewhere. What happens if the clocks go back or you take a mogwai across timezones?

Maybe Mogwai's body'clock's synch with local time automatically??? The thing I always wondered was when was it safe again to feed them after midnight, sunrise in the afternoon.

I guess they did that just for the sequence when the evil mogwai stopped the main character's cloak at 7pm or something so he fed them after midnight by mistake.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:47:20 am
Yeah, always bugged me, when does it start counting as "before midnight" again
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 01:11:31 pm
Quote from: maelzch on February 15, 2012, 11:47:20 am
Yeah, always bugged me, when does it start counting as "before midnight" again

Oh well, doesn;t detract too much from what is a great fun film..

Anyway, Matt you should check out Misery Bear on youtube, here's one of the videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JTMXvbsKlU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JTMXvbsKlU)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 15, 2012, 01:23:44 pm
Quote from: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 01:11:31 pm
Anyway, Matt you should check out Misery Bear on youtube, here's one of the videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JTMXvbsKlU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JTMXvbsKlU)

Haha, very funny! I got given a book about him for Christmas - it's almost like people think I'm a grump.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 15, 2012, 01:27:27 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 15, 2012, 01:23:44 pm
Haha, very funny! I got given a book about him for Christmas - it's almost like people think I'm a grump.

I wonfer what gave them that idea.

At least you're not as bad as Ben 'Panzer' Harris, he's a right miserable and angry sod!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 16, 2012, 09:53:15 am
Update 47 – Thursday 16th February 2012: There's just nothing funny about High Elves.

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed a slight change to the blog format – the title's gone green. This is because I've noticed the lovely white doesn't show up if you're viewing the blog on the Smartphone version of this forum, as it has a white background! So we're going to try green, though I'm undecided what colour too go for – you're thoughts please!

Regular readers of this blog, may have noticed a pattern to the updates. Yes there is actually some logic and planning! That being that I try and do one non-hobby related update and one hobby related update every week. Non hobby-land has obviously been more than covered in our epic Valentine's Day rant. But what about hobby stuff?

Well this presents a problem. I haven't started any new projects or units. I haven't finished the promised Dreadfleet ship or the High Elf Dragon. I haven't started a new army or bought any more models. I haven't learnt a new hobby skill or got excited about a new Games Workshop release. I've got no battle reports to write up and no armies to plan out. So what do I talk about? I did an army update last week, I can't do that again it's the same.

I have got a bit further on the Dragon Princes and the Archers, but that doesn't really seem like enough to justify one of my hobby-based updates. Hmmm. Usually I try and do something a bit funny.

Alright maybe not funny, but vaguely humorous. Everyone's a critic!

So here, in a desperate bid to fill up this blog and have something to say about my models, I present some jokes about High Elves that I have written:

Patient: Doctor, Doctor I feel like I should be pulling a Charican High Elf chariot?

Doctor: Well Lion the coach and I'll take a look.


Did you hear about the naming ceremony for the new Princes of Caledor?

It did Drag-on a bit.


Patient: Doctor, Doctor I'm turning into a Phoenix Guard?

Doctor: Well you've got the wrong place this is the National Health Service not the National Elf Service.


Why are Lothern Guard so useless at the alphabet?

Because they keep getting lost at Sea.


What is a High Elf's favourite type of tree?

A Silver Elm.

There you go conclusive prove that jokes about High Elves are not funny.

Oh well, it was worth a try. Here's where I've got to with the Dragon Princes and the Archers.

Stage 2 – Dragon Princes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2348.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2361.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2366.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rocks: Drybrushed Adeptus Battlegrey
Masonry: Washed Badab Black
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Tail and Leg Fur: Drybrushed Fortress Grey
Horse Body: Layered 1:1 Fortress Grey : Skull White
Silver Metal: Washed Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Reins: Washed Badab Black
White Cloth: Layered 1:2 Astronomacian Grey : Skull White
Blue Cloth and Pennant: Layered Ice Blue
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Layered Golden Yellow
Lance: Layered Graveyard Earth
Flesh: Layered Elf Flesh


Stage 2 – Archers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2329.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2332.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2344.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Washed with Badab Black
Robes: Layered with 1:2 Astronomacian Grey: Skull White
Silver Metal: Washed with Badab Black
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Flesh: Layered with Elf Flesh
Sleeves and Trousers: Layered with Ice Blue
Sash and Quivers: Layered with Golden Yellow
Hair: Washed with Ogyrn Flesh (Vomit Brown base) or Washed with Badab Black Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown base) or unchanged (Scorched Brown base)
Wood: Layered with watered down Graveyard Earth


So fingers crossed I'll think of something interesting to write next week, otherwise it could be the end of this blog.

P.S. Apologies in advance if this starts a deluge of replies featuring poor Warhammer based puns/jokes.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 16, 2012, 10:24:46 am
Don't apologise when you don't mean it. We know full well that's exactly what you want.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 16, 2012, 12:02:47 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 16, 2012, 10:24:46 am
Don't apologise when you don't mean it. We know full well that's exactly what you want.

Maybe...  >:D:-)

But come on, this is genius:

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 16, 2012, 09:53:15 am
What is a High Elf's favourite type of tree?

A Silver Elm.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 16, 2012, 03:13:08 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 15, 2012, 10:50:43 am
I sat on my own sobbing to a documentary about the 1980s aids pandemic in San Francisco.
I think that probably qualifies for an Anti-Valentine's day activity!

The one I told you about? Amazing film
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 16, 2012, 04:11:24 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 16, 2012, 03:13:08 pm
The one I told you about? Amazing film

Yeah I think so, on BBC4, it was called We Were Here.

Pretty incredible stories. Perfect V Day viewing I thought!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 19, 2012, 02:39:15 pm
Is it just me... (and I'm quite certain it could be), but when you log onto the Forum at present and the advertising banner for the Merchant of Venus appears, do you for a brief moment see the face of Mr Blobby before your brain works out what's going on?

It's constantly freaking me out.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2573.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 19, 2012, 04:18:26 pm
Never noticed it till now, scary stuff  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 21, 2012, 08:22:51 am
Update 48 – Tuesday 21st February 2012: If Argos did romance... - The horrors of online dating Part 1.

Before we kick off the blog proper, I must just say a quick hello to Joe a new member of the club who I met last night (see Ol doing my nice ambassadorial role) – ask him about his orange camper van, excellent if mad story. Anyway Joe it was nice to chat to you primarily because you were polite enough to laugh at my jokes, the rest of you lot could do taking note. Come on the joke about the Silver Elms last week was hilarious! And as a special treat I've got another High Elf joke for you, brace yourself:

Why do High Elves always end up over seasoning their food?

Because they use a Repeater Salt Thrower!

Oh genius!! No?! Alright I get the hint, on with the moaning.


Have you ever been online dating? If the answer is no, then you're probably a good-looking, confident, humorous, approachable person who enjoys the company of others. If not then you probably fall short or one or more of these traits, or like in my case all of them.

As the most socially awkward person in the Western hemisphere with all the confidence and small-talking ability of a British-Argentinean state dinner, I have succumbed to the potential pitfalls of online dating. There's a number of online dating sites all keen to collect the loneliness tax from you and add you to their books, but broadly speaking they all work in a similar way (not that I've been on many – awkward), from the mainstream, heavily advertised dating sites to the niche Velcro fetish ones (not that I've been on any of those at all – awkwarder still).

Anyway after last week's Valentine's hell, many people have suggested I be more proactive and try and find myself a boyfriend, so for those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the process of internet dating, here's my two part guide to the potential horrors you face in searching for your soul mate, which will hopefully convince you it's not worth trying. Today we'll look at setting yourself up on a dating website, and tomorrow we'll go through the exciting carnage of interacting with other people online and arranging that all important date.

The first step is creating yourself a profile, so that prospective suitors can find a good reason to dismiss you and save both of you the cost and inconvenience of a date. Many sites will ask you to choose a unique username, rather than just allowing you to call yourself by your own name – which would be arguably a lot more helpful. The trick here I've found is to be broadly non-emotive and not try and use this to sell yourself. Overconfident usernames such as HornyDogXXX and BigBreasts49 generally make you come across as a knob, ironically trying the reverse and using under-confident usernames like EssexWeedyBoy and LonelyGirl2 actually just come across as truthful and plastered immediately above a photo of you leave a strange psychological imprint that makes other users instantly close your profile.

Next up you'll need to fill out a short questionnaire to give a summary of you and what you are looking for. Questions that usually come up include age and location – which provide a helpful way to filter out a large proportion of the online community. Also things like occupation, education (for some unknown reason), eye colour (just in case Hitler himself is indulging himself in a spot of online dating) and the important question "do you drink?" – I think if you select no to the drinking option, a pop-up box appears warning that you need to start, in order to meet the level of tolerance required to survive on-line dating.

I've noticed a handful of questions that particularly stick out, first is Height – not necessarily an odd thing to ask, but am I the only person who doesn't actually know their own height? This has come up in other situations and I haven't a clue, the last time I measured myself was when I was 12 and my parents routinely stood me next to a height chart. This seemed to serve no practical purpose other than to give family members an opportunity to tut loudly and moan about how fast your growing, and how you'd probably need a fortune worth of new clothes soon. Then there's increasingly common question of "Do you take Drugs?" – for the avoidance of doubt I don't, I'm simply not cool enough. To be perfectly honest I'm not sure why the police's anti-drugs team don't get themselves a profile and round up all those who tick the "yes" box to this question. As a side note to the people who leave this box empty or select "prefer not to say", you aren't really creating any mystery – even the stupidest of people can read through your elaborate avoidance of the question. Lastly there's the question on "Build", this is the first real opportunity to be creative with the truth, unless you've been trying to cover up your red satanic eyes in the eye-colour question. Options here usually range from "very skinny", through "muscled", "average" or "a few extra pounds" right through to "have been mistaken for a bouncy castle". The general rule seems to be always class yourself one category better than you actually are, anything more is a blatant lie, and may result in a visit from trade's descriptions.

Next up you'll need to write a short essay on your interests, broadly speaking this will go one of two ways. Either people struggle to write this and up putting down a lame set of interests that include "watching television, going to the cinema and socialising" as if they're fleshing out their CV circa the age of 14. Sometimes given how obvious the choices are, you wonder if the people considered listing things like breathing and defecating just to fill up the character count. Though this at least feels like it has a sense of refreshing honesty, unlike the other option, which is to go crazy and make your entire life seem like one long gap year. Contenders for this need to list white-water rafting, abseiling, kayaking and travelling, lots of travelling – if they haven't listed The Moon as one of their top tourist destinations they're not even trying. The primary problem with this is that all the non-liars won't want to date you as they feel they will be shown up as exceptionally boring in your company. And all of this is rather arbitrary as the average forum browser will select you solely based on your picture and won't read any of the torturous c**p you spent seven hours writing.

This leads us nicely onto the final thing you need to do – select at least one, preferably a number of, photographs. As a quick note here if you don't select a photograph you will not be appear like a mysterious romantic stranger – instantly people will correctly presume you are ugly. Photo selection is always fraught with quandary, particularly if like me you are about as photogenic as an explosion in a septic tank. Clearly you don't want to show a picture that actually features an accurate representation of yourself, because quite frankly if you looked naturally attractive in all your photos you wouldn't be needing online dating in the first place. The question here is always how much to lie, a flattering photo taken at a good angle seems reasonable, one taken a few years ago possibly less so, a photo of someone else seems definitely morally questionable. But you'll be surprised at the lengths some people will take "bending the truth" hoping you won't notice the extra 50lbs when they have subsequently put on when you meet them in person.

Up to this point you won't have had to pay a thing, all dating websites allow you to create a profile and search for matches for free. But the minute you want to send or read a message, is where the cash comes in. Incidentally setting up your profile counts as joining the website, being able to read messages is considered an "upgrade" even though there's no way to use the site without it! This is why many website list themselves as "free to join" even though just joining them is about as much use as voting for the Liberal Democrats historically was.

At this point you can receive messages, but not read them so the temptation to part with your cash increase all the more in order to view these mystery messages. The pricing strategies of dating websites follow an interesting model, despite adverts suggesting you'll be finding your true love very soon, the price list encourages you to sign up long term – as let's face it you're destined to be single. Just one month's membership comes in at a hefty thirty pounds on average, but if you're prepared to part with upward of a hundred pounds you can join for a year. Which if you do certainly implies you don't have much faith in your own ability.

With credit card worn out, you've finally joined, you can start browsing the website, flicking through the pages like your glancing through the Argoscatalogue looking for a flat pack wardrobe. Although sadly should you meet up with anyone from the dating website they won't be delivered to you down a conveyer belt – which would make the whole thing a lot more fun.

By this point you're exhausted, to get this far has taken you all weekend and now you can't be bothered to look at all the other profiles. With any luck you'll forget about the whole project and not bother arranging any dates. Just cut your losses here, because the actual dating part will be awful.

Join me tomorrow when I'll explain the fate that you are destined to fulfil when you start browsing those online profiles.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 21, 2012, 11:15:57 am
£100 a year, sod that, porn is free...

Presumably the 'insert adjective of your choice here' pleasing is slotted around the arduous task of form filling that signing up to such a site requires or does that all come as a result of the additional paying premium service.

I've only ever signed up to one dating website and that was a bet with my old flatmate, we both created profiles on the same day and there was a pint riding on who got the first email through.  I won, in your face arbitrarily decided uglier than me flatmate!  I was single at the time bit didn't think to respond to said email, doubtlessly crushing the heart of some beautiful woman who would have been the desire of my dreams.  Or as Matt pointed out she didn't have a profile pic so was clearly butt ugly and I'd have turned her down regardless.

On separate issues - Joe, please don't encourage the continuation of this 'wonderful' brand of Elf inspired jokes.  Humouring him may seem harmless as it's just a few minutes of your time but it spreads a world of pain round others that they'll then take out on those around them in an effort to bring their chi back into balance.  This will ultimately result in the building of a second m25 road, which those who've read bad omens (and we're all geeks so surely) know is just a prayer wheel to the devil and designed to bring misery to the world.  Do you want that on your conscience?  Exactly. 

Kids, just say no (to elf jokes).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 21, 2012, 11:23:57 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 21, 2012, 08:22:51 am

Why do High Elves always end up over seasoning their food?

Because they use a Repeater Salt Thrower!



(http://fabianmastrorillo.com/tumbleweed.gif)

:wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 21, 2012, 01:55:01 pm
Shesh, everyone's a critic.  :sad;m:

Dave - that girl is still crying now, I hope you're happy with yourself. And in fairness I think Joe was just being polite probably  :sad;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on February 21, 2012, 03:07:31 pm
Quote from: Meals on February 21, 2012, 11:23:57 am

(http://fabianmastrorillo.com/tumbleweed.gif)

:wink;m::

heh, I was mildly amused but then I do, near exclusively, run High Elf teams out for Blood Bowl....

Plus being kinda new have only just stumbled across Matt's blog  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 21, 2012, 04:25:16 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on February 21, 2012, 03:07:31 pm
heh, I was mildly amused but then I do, near exclusively, run High Elf teams out for Blood Bowl....

Plus being kinda new have only just stumbled across Matt's blog  :blush:

Many thanks! I like you already!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on February 21, 2012, 10:44:11 pm
I think you'd have to be mad to pay for online dating. Sites like okcupid are free and work. Well, they did for me at least, only took one date :1st:

I think the route of your dating problems might be low elf esteem. God I hope no-one else said anything like that already :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 21, 2012, 11:03:31 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on February 21, 2012, 10:44:11 pm
I think you'd have to be mad to pay for online dating. Sites like okcupid are free and work. Well, they did for me at least, only took one date :1st:

Great just what I want to hear, someone else's success!!  :wink;m::

Quote from: Undead Dan on February 21, 2012, 10:44:11 pm
I think the route of your dating problems might be low elf esteem. God I hope no-one else said anything like that already :endit:

Haha I love it, just annoyed I hadn't thought of it before!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 22, 2012, 07:33:37 am
Quote from: Undead Dan on February 21, 2012, 10:44:11 pm
I think you'd have to be mad to pay for online dating. Sites like okcupid are free and work. Well, they did for me at least, only took one date :1st:

Have to agree with Dan, okcupid is quite a good site. You should try it Matt. Although the reply rate to messages is pretty damn low, then again perhaps the girls just don't believe my Brad Pitt look alike profile?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 07:36:19 am
Less Brad Pitt, more Brad Pitiful?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2012, 08:03:11 am
Quote from: Crompton on February 22, 2012, 07:33:37 am
Have to agree with Dan, okcupid is quite a good site. You should try it Matt.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt (just not the boyfriend). The problem with all dating websites, is that they need a reasonably large 'pool' of people to make them worth joining (you don't want to be the only person on there), but given the much smaller proportion of homosexual people it tends to mean a lot of the smaller dating websites aren't worth trying - there and that's the last serious point I make on dating!!

Quote from: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 07:36:19 am
Less Brad Pitt, more Brad Pitiful?

Very funny, that's up there with my High Elf jokes!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2012, 08:10:45 am
Update 49 – Wednesday 22nd February 2012: The Cycle of False Hope - The Horrors of Online Dating Part 2.

Welcome back to Procrastination by Numbers the blog you'll be wishing was stopped halfway through by James Corden. If you read yesterday's entry you know that we're halfway through a two-part special on the pitfalls of online dating. With your profile finally constructed it's now time to meet that special someone online.

Initially you start browsing through the profiles carefully reading all the text, as you know that compatibility and shared interests are far more important than looks. Within 15 minutes you just start flicking through the photos and dismissing people based on the slightest blemishes. Eventually after a lot of searching, you find the most beautiful person you've ever seen, there's not a flaw in any of their photos, they are the one. You even read their profile and convince yourself you're a perfect match "They like watching television, going to the cinema and socialising as well, what are the chances?". So you go to write them the perfect message, the message that's going to get them as excited about you as you are already about them. Problem is it turns out that just because you're not face to face with them, doesn't stop you being awkward, which makes writing an opening message rather tricky. You start with "Hi", after hours of thinking of something witty to say your message still reads "Hi", eventually you send a message reading "Hi, how are you?".

The minutes pass, they've not replied, why not? Your opening message was so good. Finally an e-mail pops up, someone has messaged you – it must be them, you log on with excitement. What can they have possibly said? You open up your messages, it's not from them, it's from someone 20 years older than you with a face that looks like it's been attacked by a cheese grater. Additionally they have a bizarre penchant for typing their messags in capital letters SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE SHOUTING AT YOU LIKE A PSYCHO. Disappointed you reply to the sender, "Sorry you seem like a nice person, but you really aren't what I am looking for. Thanks". And then the questioning begins, they ask you "why aren't I what you are looking for?" no matter how polite you try to be in fobbing them off they continue to reply to you. It as if their emotional self-worth has a death wish that it's desperately trying to fulfil and won't be sated until they hear the words "Your face looks like a scrotum that's been in a hot bath too long". Finally they stop e-mailing you, you can't be sure they haven't taken their own life but by this point you don't care, just desperate stop the never-ending torrential barrage of questioning. It represents the most pointless conversation you've ever been in, since you last got stopped in the street by a charity worker, knowing full well that as soon as they pause to take breath in their opening spiel you're going to say "no". You soon learn it's better to ignore those who message who you clearly want nothing to do with.

It then dawns on you, that maybe the reason your true love hasn't replied is that they, didn't get your message – that's the only logical answer left clearly. You best send them a new message, however if you thought the first message was awkward, you soon realise that trying to explain in words that "you're not sure if they got the first message" only serves to make you appear desperate. You send the message, and wait. Suddenly a new message pings in your inbox, you open it excited, you were right they didn't get the first message. Turns out the message is an automated message from the site, telling you about an exciting new feature, where you answer a series of mind-numbing questions in attempt to match your pathetically vague answers to other people's pathetically vague answers on the site.

Finally you accept that the true love, isn't going to reply. In fact you don't actually know if they want to reply but are unable to. The clever thing about the strategy that allows you to join a dating website without paying is that there can be a number of profiles online at any one time, of people who haven't paid up. So you can send these people messages (the site wants this, to encourage those people to join to read your messages), but you will never know if you were ignored because of your face or because they weren't prepared to part with their cash. You decide to move on, knowing the reply rate of dating messages is about the same as letters to Santa Claus, or CVs sent in Wolverhampton, you send a number of messages to different people. Lowering the standards of your potential suitor as you go. Again you wait for replies. Nothing.

Eventually you get a reply, to your dismay, it's from one of the least worst choice options you e-mailed, someone you messaged on a particularly lonely night home alone when your standards were so low you'd have considered dating a jar of Bovril. Now in the cold light of day, you realise that their hobbies include murdering babies, strangling squirrels and watching Loose Woman and their picture makes them look like a less attractive version of a Crimewatch photo fit. You feel awkward now you have to fob them off, and you initiated first contact. You try hinting in your e-mails that you have socially unacceptable hobbies, like developing your own deadly strains of body odour and kleptomania – sadly they find this endearing. Eventually the only option is to tell them you're dead, or convince them that you're seeing someone else. All the more difficult a lie to spin when you're still regularly logging onto the dating site, as most sites have an annoying feature that lists when you last logged on, on your profile. After this loop completes itself a number of times you decide to give up, online dating clearly isn't for you. Your membership is going to expire today, there's no point in wasting any money and renewing it. Oh well there's more to life than being happy you reason.

One hour after your subscription expires, a new message pops in, you can't read it but you check the sender. It's your true love, they've finally replied. But now you can't read the message, your subscription has expired. Hurriedly you reach for your debit card, eager to tap in the 16-digit card number, just so you can read the marriage proposal you've clearly received. You go for the worst value for money option, the one-month subscription, you won't need a longer subscription – this is the love of your life after all. With your payment approved you hurriedly open their message, your heart is racing with excitement as you read the words "Sorry you seem like a nice person, but you really aren't what I am looking for. Thanks". Your world collapses in on itself, you experience the kind of disappointment usually reserved solely for opening Christmas Crackers and discovering the "prize" was a novelty one-piece jigsaw. Convinced there must have been some terrible mistake you reply "why aren't I what you are looking for?". A number of messages are exchanged before they block your profile and report you to the site administrator.

Still your disappointment has been slightly tempered, one of the other people you messaged a few weeks back has replied. You've agreed to meet up for a meal, that should be nice. It's only a few days until your date and you keep looking back at their profile. You realise actually you've got a lot in common, they're pretty attractive and you're sure something special is going to happen between the two of you. Finally it's the day of the date, you've made a supreme effort, much to the mocking of friends and colleagues, you're wearing your best clothes, your smart shoes and you've spent ages getting your hair to look just perfect. What could possibly go wrong?

You turn up at the pre-arranged meeting point, eager to find your date you look around, there's lots of attractive looking people but you can't see the person shown in the pictures you'd been looking at. Finally you spot them amongst the crowd, except it's not them as you expected, it's a hideous cartoon parody of the pictures you've seen on their profile. You approach them, not sure whether you should make contact or run, but too late they've spotted you, and you realise the awful truth it is them. In that three seconds the extent of their "being economical with the truth" unravels as you realise that the photos they uploaded of themselves were taken at least seven years ago, before they put on six stone, before they developed male pattern baldness (even if they aren't male), before they decided to have a tattoo across their face and before they suffered a terribly disfiguring car crash. Additionally their description of age and build are so wildly unbelievable that even Hans Christian Anderson wouldn't have attempted to write such fanciful bulls**t.

Reluctantly you proceed to dinner with them, cursing yourself for not suggesting any other dating activity that would have been shorter such as a pint, a coffee or even a group suicide pact. As you begin dinner they suggest doing the full starter, main course, dessert option, whereas you'd hope you could have taken one bite out of your meal said your full and then left. As the conversation continues you realise that you have nothing in common, the only thing they can talk about is how exciting Lady Gaga's latest video is, which you haven't seen. They find it incredulous that you haven't seen it, they'd be less shocked if you told them that you were a Mermaid and had to return to the ocean in the next five minutes before you dehydrate and die. The only other thing they can talk to you about is The Only Way is Essex, you realise that you are essentially on a date with a copy of Heat Magazine, except it's costing you a lot more than one pound fifty and doesn't have the one redeeming feature that you can wipe you're a**e with it if you've run out of loo roll.

Worse still they haven't asked a single question about you, instead they've spent the last hour babbling along about their pointless life, a life so disinteresting you want to rip your own windpipe out and fashion into a crude trombone just to give yourself something to relieve the boredom. When they do finally let you speak, no matter what you say their only response is to laugh inanely, like a hyena on nitrous oxide. Regardless of whether you utter a simple reply to what they've said, tell a joke, say a statement of fact, or even commenting that you have megalomaniacal tendencies and one day hope to destroy the world, all they can do is reply with that inane pathetic laugh. Despite all your best efforts to wrap up the meal as quickly as possible you can't they wait out for dessert, don't get any of your hints about having to leave soon or be up early the next day. Not only that but you've got food down your best clothes, they're ruined, like your life. Finally the meal comes to the end; they have forgotten their credit card, so you end up paying. They then suggest going for a drink afterwards, inexplicably you lose your mind and say "yes", what the hell were you thinking?

Five hours later, five hours of utter torture with someone you wouldn't even want to spend ten seconds in a lift with, let alone a tedious evening of pathetic prattle about topics so low brow even ITV2 would turn its nose up at them you crack. You inform that you have to go and that you've had an awful night. They simple inanely laugh at you. As you leave you stupidly give the automatic response "See you soon" cursing your own idiocy. They then move in for a goodbye kiss, which you spot and try and manoeuvre yourself to force it into a goodbye hug, but you end up knocking a table over and embarrassing yourself. Still you've left, you've escaped the hell.

There are four potential outcomes of a first date, providing you didn't kill either them or yourself during the initial encounter.

1.   You both like each other – this is so unlikely to have happened that we won't bother discussing any further.
2.   You both hate each other – given the remoteness of option 1, this is the best option you can hope for.
3.   You like them and they don't like you – you send them a nice text saying you'd like to meet again, they politely tell you how awful it was and explain they never wish to see you again. You cry lots.
4.   They like you and you don't like them – this is the worst option, as then you have to send the awkward message saying you don't want to meet. At least in option 3 you had the comfort of being bitter, now you have to be the ba****d, and there's no comfort in that.

Clearly your date ends in Option 4, but you speak to some friends about it, and they convince you it's worth giving this person another try. After all maybe a spark will grow. Reluctantly you agree. The above scenario plays out again, except you feel even more guilty sending the text in Option 4 as now you've strung them along for two dates. At the end of it all, you're poorer, bitterer and just as single. You continue trawling the website looking for more dates, but they all end as above, before long you've been on the website for six months, and all the profiles that pop up are just the same faces as before. All of you locked into a cycle of loneliness, depression, and false hope fuelled by the dating website's empty promises.

And that's how internet dating works, happy hunting!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 22, 2012, 09:31:54 am
You could always try plenty of fish or pof.com (same website) its actually all free,  no money required to read and send messages.

I've been on pay sites a couple of times, they entice you in with fake messages, then when you pay up nothing happens, then when you leave they try to get you back with pretty much fake messages. I'd say don't bother, either try your luck on pof (you won;t be wasting any money) or just give up for the moment, and try looking in bars again...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 09:33:48 am
Have you tried meeting someone at a night club matt?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2012, 10:18:31 am
Quote from: The Trampoline on February 22, 2012, 09:31:54 am
You could always try plenty of fish or pof.com (same website) its actually all free,  no money required to read and send messages.

Been there done that, I should point out this just a general humorous piece on dating website and in no way reflects my own experiences.

Quote from: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 09:33:48 am
Have you tried meeting someone at a night club matt?

I believe you and Annie said something similarly annoying on the 15th of Feb - hush now.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 22, 2012, 10:55:06 am
Quote from: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 07:36:19 am
Less Brad Pitt, more Brad Pitiful?

Heehee, that song has some fantastic chat-up lines in it, it's definitely worth sharing:

My personal favourite I like to use is "Ok, I think you're special - but you fall within a bell curve."

I tried a paying dating site once, when they were giving a month away free. There was a noticeably different crowd to the free websites, which was good, it meant I had the opportunity to be rejected by an even higher calibre of guy. Still, better than having to fend off the terrifying desiccated old men from plenty of fish (more like plenty off-ish...?).
I'm going to pin my lack of success on the fact I let my friend wrote my profile when she was drunk one New Year's Eve, it was pretty bizarre (it contained useful facts like "Jack is very good with his G-string," supposed to be a pun on my guitar skills I think, but was probably misconstrued!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 22, 2012, 10:56:49 am
Damn, song reference rumbled!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 22, 2012, 11:02:51 am
You didn't think you'd get a Minchin past me did you  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 22, 2012, 12:15:37 pm
I was joined to a dating site once by some drunk mates.
My profile read, job: teaching Mexican monkeys to install lightbulb filaments  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 22, 2012, 12:19:04 pm
Unfortunately you're just not my type... I much prefer african monkeys to mexican ones.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on February 22, 2012, 01:21:27 pm
Damn I hope that was a true story matt.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2012, 04:08:09 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on February 22, 2012, 01:21:27 pm
Damn I hope that was a true story matt.

It didn't all happen on one date, but it is amalgam of true elements!  :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 09:00:57 am
Update 50 – Thursday 23rd February 2012: Slipping over to the Dark Side.

Whilst it might be the 50th update of this here exciting blog, a cause for celebration I'm sure you will agree. I am instead going to turn my watchful eye to another celebration, not the return of So You Think You Can Dance on BBC One (exciting though that is), but instead the 25th anniversary of Warhammer 40,000. Which Games Workshop has officially decreed will be this Saturday – though whether that's the historical birthday, or just a convenient spot in the release schedule that happens to fall on a day numbered 25 I'm not sure. But not be a cynic, I will say no more.

Regular readers of this blog will know that I have never really talked about the futuristic cousin to Warhammer Fantasy Battle, and while you might kindly think that's because I'm staying on topic (after all this blog is in the Warhammer section of the website), you should know by now staying on topic is not high on my priority list. To understand my relationship to Warhammer 40,000 you probably need to understand how I originally fell into the vortex of eternal money spending that the Warhammer hobby has become to me. <CUE WAVY FLASHBACK EFFECT AND HARP SOUND EFFECTS>

Back in 1992, when I was the age of about one, and at secondary school (mathematical accuracy isn't important for this story), I, like a lot of children, ended up buying the things my friend's bought regardless of whether I liked them of not. The amount of money I wasted buying things I didn't like just to keep up with my friends is obscene – the entire collection of The X Files on VHS being one such example (sorry Mulder and Scully fans, but it really wasn't for me). One thing I did end up buying was Warhammer Fantasy Battle – the 4th edition with the High Elves and the Goblin Spearmen that could rip your arm off if you accidentally fell on one. And actually it turned out to be a rather good purchase in terms of enjoyment (my bank manager and overdraft the size of one of the better Deal or No Deal? boxes may disagree). However as my friends never once got interested in Warhammer 40,000 neither did I, I was a follower not a leader.

For a large part of my early Games Workshop history, Warhammer 40,000 was an annoyance in the White Dwarf filling up the pages and taking up that elusive battle report spot every other month. Even back in White Dwarf 166 (October 1993), I wasn't excited by the release of Warhammer 40,000's 2nd edition:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2539.jpg)

In fact I was more excited by the release of the Dwarf Miners and characters on the opposite page (though not the Man O' War Norse Longships – even I am not that pathetic):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2542.jpg)

Though in fairness flicking through the pages of this edition, very little fuss was made about the release of the 2nd edition, it would be quite easy to overlook it. The Warhammer 40,000 articles seem to just include some background on Space Marines and the release of the Dark Angels Tactical Squad:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2545.jpg)

Plus of course that dratted Warhammer 40,000 battle report <CUE FIST SHAKING>.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2547.jpg)

As an aside does anyone else fondly remember the erratic release schedule of Games Workshop, with a new releases not necessarily accompanying a new army book but scattered over a six month period afterwards. Often command models being released the month after the rank-and-file models, and then of course the completely random releases of the odd special character and unit for no imperceptible reason. I admit it's not as nice and logical as the current system, but there was something charming about their being a chance of getting something exciting for one of your armies every month.

Despite my lack of interest in Warhammer 40,000 I did however manage to paint up the free Space Marine that came on my front cover, and as you can see I did an appalling job:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2572.jpg)

I think I've thrown up more artistic vomits, but in fairness it's got at least three colours and is based so its tournament ready, though sadly represents a rather small army. I may struggle to make 1,750 points.

Over the years I did occasionally glance at the Warhammer 40,000 pages wondering what it would be like, but to be honest back in the nineties I think if I had got a new games system Epic would have appealed – there's something I like more about the scale and the tanks, when I thought of futuristic battles I always wanted tanks and spaceships and things, not vulnerable people with guns.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2549.jpg)

I blame the computer game Commander & Conquer for this entirely.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2565.jpg)

For those of you unfamiliar with this game, it's one of the most successful point and click military games, which has been oft copied by many other franchises. Basically you build infantry, tanks and aircraft click on them and then click on where you want them to move to, if you click on an enemy target they will attack them. Hence the name point and click.

The main problem I found with this game is that while lots of the mission encouraged you to build infantry over tanks, infantry were ridiculously vulnerable to being run over. Obviously people in life are vulnerable to being run over, but the supposedly lumbering tanks were just too agile and would quickly run down scores of soldiers who simply were incapable of stepping out the way. This soon conditioned me to accept that tanks were a much better choice than infantry. Though having read the odd Warhammer 40,000 battle report apparently you can't just take tanks.

With this months' White Dwarf featuring a nostalgic look back at the 25 years of Warhammer 40,000 (if you remember to turn the magazine and over and upside down):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2554.jpg)

I decided to have a read, and ended up feeling suitably nostalgic about a games system I'd never once played before (odd that). I even decided to order myself the limited edition Rogue Trader model:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2556.jpg)

Having recently enjoyed painting my first Dreadfleet warship (more on that next week), I decided this model would a good alternative model that potentially could be painted up as a break from High Elves and Beastmen – although almost certainly will sit on a shelf unpainted forever more. Don't worry I didn't go crazy and get the wrist bands – seriously who the hell would want those?:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2560.jpg)

Enjoying my nostalgic reading, I even found out the reason why most of the armies in Warhammer 40,000 have counterparts in the Warhammer world. I always presumed it was laziness, but no, when Rogue Trader came out Games Workshop were worried they wouldn't have the resources to sculpt extra models for them, so it was designed so that all the existing Orcs, Goblins, Elves, Dwarfs etc. could also be used both in fantasy and in space. Though the poor old Squats bought the chop since then, poor midget people never seem to do well in the Games Workshop landscape.

With all this Warhammer 40,000 nostalgia in my heart I even decided to try out a game, well sort of, I popped down the club on Monday where JD and Lee were kind enough to let me tag along their game, whilst I also watched and asked Noah and Ol lots of questions.

Apologies in advance for the state of the photos, for some reason whatever camera settings I use it appears that the games we play in the club room look like they've been photographed under the gaping maw of a portal to hell. Which some may say is a fair description of Wandsworth. Not me.

I joined JD's force playing the Necrons, who are much like Warhammer's Tomb Kings, fighting against Tyranids, who are much like match.com's suggested profile matches for me (sorry dating website rant was earlier in the week, get over it Matty).

So the Necrons deployed first, JD did explain to me what everything was, but I'm afraid I still have no idea. There were people with guns, people with guns and shoulder pads, tall things, some kind of barge – which made me think of Rosie & Jim even though it was nothing like it, and crouching down things which gave birth to little things. Maybe you can better extrapolate from this photo:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2575.jpg)

Lee then deployed all his Tyranids, which to my untrained eye appear to be the same model just in a variety of different sizes.

We rolled for the first turn (I understood this bit), we won and I was reliably informed we should stand where we are and shout the approaching Tyranids. Sadly only this chap was in range, so I took an action based shot of him peering at the enemy lines ready to shoot an arching bolt of electricity into the enemy lines. Unfortunately he missed so it wasn't that epic.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2582.jpg)

In the meantime Ol and Noah were playing footsie with their Stormraven Gunships (I looked that name up on the Games Workshop website), seriously this is how they ended up. Get a room guys!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2585.jpg)

Back to our battle and the Tyranids basically ran towards us, conveniently everyone moves six inches – which is simple. Though two shooty Tyranids shot the Battlebarge, just as I'd worked out what it was called.

Our Turn 2 came up and we charged forward with Scarabs and Wraiths and Scarab-laying thingy me jigs (come on I got two of the names, that's not bad).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2587.jpg)

Poor rolling, not from me I hasten to add lead to limited casualties from shooting and the Scarabs largely being smashed to tiny bits.

Up next the Tyranid swarm ran the wreckage towards us. Apparently this is bad. More Scarabs were chopped up too.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2588.jpg)

In our third turn, the egg laying thingys charged into the big Tyranidy thingys – I hope you're keeping up with this technical language.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2591.jpg)

The Tyranids did some Peroxide based attack on the Necrons – presumably badly dying their hair and showing them photos of themselves five years hence in the shame attack.

I took control of the dice in the shooting phase and an impressive set of rolls for me led to us removing a good chunk of the Tyranid horde. Moo hahahahahaha. I think – I believe it was good.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2593.jpg)

And we twin-linked our cannons (I think?!) and wiped this gribblies off the table.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2590.jpg)

Meanwhile the Egglaying Necrons killed a big monster – apparently Lee forget they ignore Armour Saves (I didn't even know!).

The next turn the Tyranids hit home, plus a huge Tyranidy thing – called Alice landed alongside some Genestealers, who have banned from the Levi's store – because they are Genestealers, they steal jeans get it?!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2598.jpg)

Lots of Necrons are killed in close combat, and unlike Tomb Kings they don't seem to all rise back up – where's the magic phase?!

Our Turn 4 and all the shooting, including our Assassins(?!?!) turn their weapons on Alice and thanks to some more impressive rolling (thank you very much) she's killed outright haha.

Also our egg-laying Scarb makers and wraiths wipe out some more gribblies in the centre of the table. Sadly at this point we forced to end the game as we ran out of time at the pub. Obviously it would be fair to give Lee a fourth turn to be equal and allow him to wipe out more of our troops in combat, but we didn't so we win on kill points!! Yay! Yay! Yay!!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2599.jpg)

So, so far I have a 100% wins ratio in Warhammer 40,000 (even if dubiously obtained). Hence I am never going to play another game of Warhammer 40,000 and maintain my perfect record.

Ok, so that seems a bit extreme, and I did actually enjoy the game. Ol's suggested I have another one with Marines (a bit simpler), where I actually take full charge (gulp)! This is all a bit worrying, because do I want to foray in that game? I am worried that if I start collecting even one Warhammer 40,000 model we're opening the floodgates to greater financial ruin. The main reason I've not even entertained the idea beforehand.

My main problem is that I can't stop collecting, you've seen my Warhammer armies, I just can't reach 2,000 points and say "there we go, that's enough". Oh well I'll keep you updated on the 40K developments, but I suspect the next decision on this blog has the potential to be quite an expensive one...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 09:40:21 am
Do it! Come over to the (grim) dark side!

Just pick an army based on models you like, and financially cripple yourself from there!

Join us!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on February 23, 2012, 10:01:06 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 09:00:57 am
.....but I suspect the next decision on this blog has the potential to be quite an expensive one...

I only really manage rein myself in through chronic lazyness/lack of time to get things painted and a nagging embarassment at the size of my painting 'to do' box

....unfortunately for Matt's bank manager he is much more efficient in this area....   :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 11:27:51 am
Quote from: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 09:40:21 am
Do it! Come over to the (grim) dark side!

Just pick an army based on models you like, and financially cripple yourself from there!

Join us!

It's worryingly tempting Lee, worryingly tempting.

Quote from: DarkStalker on February 23, 2012, 10:01:06 am
I only really manage rein myself in through chronic lazyness/lack of time to get things painted and a nagging embarassment at the size of my painting 'to do' box

....unfortunately for Matt's bank manager he is much more efficient in this area....   :wink;m::

If only I could develop a social life this might slow my painting down enough to make it affordable.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 11:33:03 am
What army's tempting you?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 23, 2012, 11:40:20 am
Yay, keep tempting him people!

I'd recommend playing some kind of marine army rather than necrons next time, making the tank noises is much easier - watch some of Ollie's battles, making the sounds is apparently a crucial part of the game ;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 11:44:11 am
The key to 40k is definately loud noises and sound effects! The nids do so much better when I yell "rarrrrgh!" At them!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 12:46:47 pm
Surely with my
Quote from: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 11:33:03 am
What army's tempting you?

Surely with my amazing painting skills, it's got to be some kind of Marine?!!!  :1st:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on February 23, 2012, 01:00:21 pm
QuoteSurely with my amazing painting skills, it's got to be some kind of Marine?!!!

Perfect 40k army to start IMO. lets you learn the game and mistakes aren't as obviously punished as with some other armies....


If you're thinking marines of the Vanilla kind i'd be more than happy to lend you a few of my smurfs while you decide whether they're the Neo-humans for you Matt..  :wink;m::


You will nedd to provide your own  F1 themed movement trays again though mate  :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 23, 2012, 03:07:51 pm
Dakka Dakka Dakka........................ :spamlaser:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 05:12:11 pm
Quote from: lagar312 on February 23, 2012, 01:00:21 pm
If you're thinking marines of the Vanilla kind i'd be more than happy to lend you a few of my smurfs while you decide whether they're the Neo-humans for you Matt..  :wink;m::

You will nedd to provide your own  F1 themed movement trays again though mate  :))

Many thanks, that's very kind. I think I'm going to choose an army based on the models I like rather than how they play (if Warhammer's anything to go by I will lose regardless, so it doesn't seem worth factoring in).

Do I need movement trays? Am I missing something?!  #-)

Quote from: fatolaf on February 23, 2012, 03:07:51 pm
Dakka Dakka Dakka........................ :spamlaser:

I will endeavour to make more noises during the next game!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 23, 2012, 05:39:12 pm
To be fair you had a tricky first game, I don't even know what noise a necron would make.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 05:43:39 pm
Sort of a robotic *bwooar*
And it's easy when they shoot, that's just frikkin "lasers" *bzzap*
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 23, 2012, 05:49:20 pm
Quote from: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 05:43:39 pm
Sort of a robotic *bwooar*

I'm imagining the noise of the robots from War of the Worlds now (Jeff Wayne's, not the dire americanised film)

I'm sorry, this is a really inane conversation, I kind of wish I hadn't started it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 23, 2012, 05:54:33 pm
Yeah jack, how dare you start inane babble in this always on topic hobby blog!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on February 23, 2012, 06:05:34 pm
Yeah sorry, I hope Matt will forgive us for derailing his painting blog

I suppose it could be worse, I could have mentioned V.P. again...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 23, 2012, 07:24:55 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on February 23, 2012, 06:05:34 pm
I suppose it could be worse, I could have mentioned V.P. again...

I'll pretend you meant victory points and move on.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on February 23, 2012, 11:01:26 pm
Vaginal penetration?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 23, 2012, 11:04:40 pm
I am away from the forum for a couple of hours and look what happens to my lovely blog. I behaved and wrote no rude things and lots of exciting Warhammer 40,000 chat it just turns into a smut fest. Very naughty! :spank:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 12:28:11 am
Oh dear!

Someone just e-mailed me on a dating website and began with "I googled your username and found your blog"... suddenly it all feels rather awkward that I wrote a 4,000 word rant over two days about how much I hate on-line dating, only a week since writing a similar length rant about how awful Valentine's Day is. Oh well never mind.

So many pitfalls with being an internet celebrity!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Jal on February 24, 2012, 08:30:23 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 12:28:11 am
Oh dear!

Someone just e-mailed me on a dating website and began with "I googled your username and found your blog"... suddenly it all feels rather awkward that I wrote a 4,000 word rant over two days about how much I hate on-line dating, only a week since writing a similar length rant about how awful Valentine's Day is. Oh well never mind.

So many pitfalls with being an internet celebrity!


That's pretty epic!

You know at this point you have to ask them out
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on February 24, 2012, 08:40:17 am
Quote from: Jal on February 24, 2012, 08:30:23 am

That's pretty epic!

You know at this point you have to ask them out

...or at least the "Sorry you seem like a nice person, but you really aren't what I am looking for. Thanks" message will need less explaining ;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on February 24, 2012, 10:07:11 am
QuoteDo I need movement trays? Am I missing something?! 

Seems no one else spotted the F1 driver listing under your first attempt to paint an Ultramarine.... even the man that took the photo...  :blush:

Think i'll leave the jokes to the professionals then eh.......  :cry:


Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 24, 2012, 11:06:49 am
Ask to see their blog.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 12:11:05 pm
Quote from: Jal on February 24, 2012, 08:30:23 am
That's pretty epic!

It is if they read the whole thing, that's virtually a lifetime commitment!

Quote from: DarkStalker on February 24, 2012, 08:40:17 am
...or at least the "Sorry you seem like a nice person, but you really aren't what I am looking for. Thanks" message will need less explaining ;)

Hahaha!!

Realised now it might this blog they've googled in which case they will have seen all this too, slightly more awkward!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 12:12:43 pm
Quote from: lagar312 on February 24, 2012, 10:07:11 am
Seems no one else spotted the F1 driver listing under your first attempt to paint an Ultramarine.... even the man that took the photo...  :blush:

Think i'll leave the jokes to the professionals then eh.......  :cry:

Haha! Sorry unless it's got an awful pun on High Elves or Genestealers (hope you enjoyed that classic!), it will be too clever for me to get. Plus pitching a sports joke at me is a bit like pitching a quantum physics joke at Jodie Marsh! I am sure others saw and enjoyed though!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on February 24, 2012, 12:35:32 pm
If the guy actually read your whole blog and still sent you a message, you should probably marry him... Or find yourself a new identity and go into hiding. Probably the latter!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 12:54:31 pm
Quote from: Meals on February 24, 2012, 12:35:32 pm
If the guy actually read your whole blog and still sent you a message, you should probably marry him... Or find yourself a new identity and go into hiding. Probably the latter!

This won't be any more awkward if he is reading the blog! lol! - Yes I used "lol" shoot me now.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 24, 2012, 04:54:11 pm
is it this blog or your proper bloggy blog?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2012, 05:21:07 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 24, 2012, 04:54:11 pm
is it this blog or your proper bloggy blog?

I don't know (though this a proper blog too - I love them both!).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 29, 2012, 08:45:26 am
Update 51 – Wednesday 29th February 2012: Leaping into Pirates.

Can you believe it, it's the final day of February? Isn't the year going fast? And also it's a Leap Year, which means two things – one you're probably not getting paid for working today, and two this is the day gentlemen, when woman can propose to you. Yeah I think you know which one of those is going to cost you more, gulp. Obviously I have been inundated with marriage proposals today... ok so I haven't, but for once I don't care. Keep your pussies away from me evil women!!! Sorry that wasn't really necessary was it?

Last week in hobby land I was talking all about Warhammer 40,000, no developments there this week, I've decided to back away from the 40K and lock my credit card in a secure vault – for the time being at least. Because we have other games systems to look at this week, yes another week when we don't talk Warhammer. Because only 5 months after purchase I've finally got round to opening up the games system formerly known as Man-O-War, it's Dreadfleet. And shockingly that's the second time in two weeks Man-O-War's got a mention, even I am surprised by that.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2602.jpg)

Dreadfleet the game of naval battles in Warhammer, and every Somalian's second favourite game just behind this:

http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3904859/Trail/searchtext%3EPIRATE.htm (http://www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3904859/Trail/searchtext%3EPIRATE.htm)

Yep topical as ever I am talking about the games system that was released back in October, and was withdrawn from sale early this year, just in time for you to not get it. Still now I am talking about it, it has become the very definition of cool, prices on eBay will be rocketing!

With one of my many hobby resolutions this year, see Update 34, being to paint all the contents of Dreadfleet I best get on with it. A quick peak in the box shows us a load of frames:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2604.jpg)

And then underneath the sheet of cardboard all the nitty gritty:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2608.jpg)

We have a large fabric seascape perfect for Dreadfleet and also useful for any fantastical games of Subbueto you may wish to be playing. Apparently this sheet is quite frustrating because it easily catches and can be dragged along the table, fortunately I'm a very patient person so this shouldn't annoy me.

Then there's all your usual cards, with handy pack of plastic resealable bags to store all the different decks in (I genuinely love these, sad I know!), the bags of dice (including the evil red one). And of course the not chunky by Games Workshop standards rule book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2612.jpg)

Having read the rulebook, the rules seem fairly straight forward and nothing too horrendous, and the game actually looks fun with a number of scenarios to play. Reviews seem to have been reasonably mixed, and in fairness having never played it I can't really comment – besides I've played Warhammer many times and I still don't know the rules to that!!

But before I play, I need to paint, can't stand using non-painted models so I'm going to work my way through the battleships and the scenery to get myself a completed fleet hopefully in the not too distant future.

I used the excellent Painting Workshop guide from White Dwarf 382 (October 2011) as a basis for all my ships:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2615.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2620.jpg)

Broadly speaking I'm going to follow the guide, as I'm not too interested in going crazily off piste with these ships – they all have a very strongly defined individual character anyway so the colours are very much hinted in the background.

The assembly instructions for each warship are printed around the edge of the bottom half of the box, which may seem like a great use of box space, but is bloody annoying having to hold the whole box up as you work out which part goes where!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2631.jpg)

At this point it's very much worth looking at the painting guide, as this gives a good suggestion of the separate sub assemblies you should build prior to painting allowing you to access all the interiors and sails easily.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2623.jpg)

I decided to paint up the Heldenhammer first, the flagship of The Grand Alliance Fleet (the goodies), for those of you unaware of the background, it was the flagship of the Empire fleet until Captain Jaego Roth – wronged Sartosian captain stole it in order to head into the Maelstrom and destroy the Dreadfleet responsible for the death of his parents – a plot based on next week's Coronation Street. The Heldenhammer is equipped with it's own cathedral, hundreds of cannons, a giant statue of Sigmar that can drop it's hammer on unsuspecting ships in close combat and it's own duty free. Excellent who doesn't love duty free!

With clippers ready I assembled the hull of the Heldenhammer, and attached it to its scenic base, the sail of the rearmost mast was kept as a separate assembly, and each of the main masts were built as separate assemblies. At this point it's worth mentioning that each of the warships, bar the spectral ship the Shadewraith, comes with it's own cog – in this case meaning smaller ship, not cog! There's only one design of cog for each fleet (except for the Dwarf and High Elf ships), so it's import to make sure each cog matches it's flagship thus I've painted them up at the same time as the parent vessel using the same techniques.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2636.jpg)

What follows is a step-by-step guide to painting the Heldenhammer, it's largely based on the guide in White Dwarf 382 though I've added in stages for the detailing not mentioned in that guide. It's a rough and ready guide so the photos have been taken pretty much on the fly (you won't read the bloody thing anyway!). Also you'll not the guide is over 7 stages not the usual 4, this is mainly as due to the large amounts of raised detailing it's worth drybrushing all the internal deck parts and completing the outer hull first before even starting the raised details, otherwise you'll end up constantly retouching up.

Stage 1 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2041.jpg)

Hull: Merchrite Red
Deck & Masts: Khemri Brown


Stage 2 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2051.jpg)

Hull: Wash Baal Red
Deck & Masts:  Drybrush/Layer Kommando Khaki
Sails/ Red Flags: Basecoat 1:1 Merchrite Red/Blood Red


Make sure you paint up the little rowing boat modelled into the base of the Heldenhammer, which can be painted in the same way as the larger ship.

Stage 3 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2059.jpg)

Hull: Layer 1:1 Mercherite Red/Blood Red
Deck & Masts: Drybrush/Layer Bleached Bone
Hull Detailing: Tidy Chaos Black
Castle Walls: Codex Grey
Tiled Roofs: Fenris Grey
Castle Roofs: Scorched Brown
Sails: Devlan Mud applied in the recesses


Stage 4 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2072.jpg)

Hull: Highlight with Blood Red then Vomit Brown
Sea: Paint Regal Blue
Tiled Roofs: Badab Black
Castle Walls: Badab Black in recesses
Sail: Highlight 1:1 Vomit Brown/Blood Red
Cannons/Sail Rings: Boltgun Metal
Cannon Bases: Calthan Brown
Hull Detailing: 1:1 Scorched Brown/Shining Gold
Castle Roofs: Dark Flesh


Stage 5 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2257.jpg)

Hull: COMPLETE
Sea: Heavily drybrush with Enchanted Blue
Tiled Roofs: Badab Black
Castle Walls: Highlight with Fortress Grey
Black Walls/Flags: Highlight with Codex Grey
Sail: Vomit Brown
Cannons/Sail Rings: Badab Black
Cannons Bases: Badab Black
Hull Detailing: Shining Gold then wash Devlan Mud
Sail Detail White: Dheneb Stone
Sail Detail Yellow: Tausept Ochre


Note I painted a small twin-tailed comet on the sail of the Cog at this stage, using Tausept Ochre and completing as detailed for the Yellow sail detail.

Stage 6 – Heldenhammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2529.jpg)

Hull: COMPLETE
Sea: Drybrush Ice Blue (concentrating on wave crests)
Tiled Roofs: Drybrush Shadow Grey
Castle Walls: Skull White
Black Walls/Flags: Fortress Grey
Sails: COMPLETE
Cannons/Sail Rings: Chainmail
Cannon Bases: Snakebite Leather
Hull Detailing: Burnished Gold
Sail Detail White: Bleached Bone
Sail Detail Yellow: Vomit Brown


Stage 7 – Heldenhammer

Hull: COMPLETE
Sea: Heavily wash 1:1 Badab Black/Thraka Green then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White.
Tiled Roofs: COMPLETE
Castle Walls: COMPLETE
Black Walls/Flags: COMPLETE
Sails: COMPLETE
Cannons/Sail Rings: COMPLETE
Cannon Bases: COMPLETE
Hull Detailing: Highlight Mithril Silver on most prominent parts
Sail Detail White: Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White then letter on text using Chaos Black
Sail Detail Yellow: Highlight 1:1 Vomit Brown/Skull White


The subassemblies were then glued together with superglue, I filed down the base of each mast to ensure a sung fit into the deck (as the extra layer of paint will have thickened the model slightly, and here's the finished warship in all it's glory.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2640.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2642.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2647.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2660.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2662.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2664.jpg)

Now I wrote the vast majority of this blog in advance of the final gluing of the sails to the Heldenhammer. Despite me doing a number of dry runs assembling the masts, and all going as expected, the tallest mast got stuck halfway into its appropriate slot. Unfortunately the quick drying superglue locked in place, and now it is firmly stuck as it is, any attempts to free the mast just caused the exposed unpainted plastic to buckle. Annoyingly I seem to be very good at making a mess of things during the final assembly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2656.jpg)

You can probably see the exposed grey plastic here, where the mast hasn't sunk all the way in place.

The only solution I can see bar attempting to cut and pin the mast in place (not fun) is to green stuff the base of the mast and paint it to match. That is unless anyone else has any bright ideas?

Answers on a postcard to the usual address please.

Fingers crossed next week will feature the repaired Heldenhammer and maybe even some Warhammer stuff. Just maybe.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on February 29, 2012, 09:30:41 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 29, 2012, 08:45:26 am

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2656.jpg)

Answers on a postcard to the usual address please.

Gah, thats gotta be very annoying.

Seems to be a fair bit of the grey 'slotting' bit exposed so I might be tempted to cut it at the base, redrill the hole in the deck and have another go regluing..... had ideas you could try painting some string yellow and lashing it round the mast base to make a feature of it but if I were attempting it my highly tempremental modelling skills would just end up with it looking very naff :/

Green stuff is probably a safe bet  :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 29, 2012, 11:45:55 am
Quote from: DarkStalker on February 29, 2012, 09:30:41 am
Seems to be a fair bit of the grey 'slotting' bit exposed so I might be tempted to cut it at the base, redrill the hole in the deck and have another go regluing.....

Yeah I'm tempted, I'm just worrying about f**king it up any more! It's always scary going in with the clippers on a finished model. On the plus side I did manage to repair my High Elf Dragon last night! Whoop!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on February 29, 2012, 08:43:39 pm
the paint job on the boat looks good matt!

To cover the grey bit of the mast, how about rolling some green stuff really thin, then twisting three bitts together (like my chaos dwarf beards), to use as rope?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on February 29, 2012, 10:16:00 pm
How many cannons on that thing?  Can you sail it past a dwarf army and say ha! 50 cannons in the face?

I bet it doesn't float.  But do not put it in the bath  :wink;m::

Nice paint job.  String or thin wire carefully twisted around the base of the mast might work.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 29, 2012, 11:40:12 pm
Quote from: maelzch on February 29, 2012, 08:43:39 pm
the paint job on the boat looks good matt!

Thanks glad you like it.

Not sure about the rope, worried it's going to look ridiculously thick at the scale I can reasonably model without bursting into flames in a fit of rage. Hmmm. What do you think, would a massive ship have massive rope.

Quote from: Toast on February 29, 2012, 10:16:00 pm
How many cannons on that thing?  Can you sail it past a dwarf army and say ha! 50 cannons in the face?

I bet it doesn't float.  But do not put it in the bath  :wink;m::

I think I counted 74 when I was painting it up, though I did lose count. Thanks for the advice on the bath too, if you hadn't said...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 01, 2012, 08:43:02 am
Update 52 – Thursday 1st March 2012: Abercrombie & Bitch.

I look and feel like a tramp, no really I do. Recently I've noticed that my favourite clothes and shoes are starting to resemble a novelty colander, there's so many holes in them that I look like a cartoon representation of Wile E. Coyote after he's been savaged by a pack of hungry tigers. This means it's time to go clothes shopping. Problem is I'm sure clothes shopping is supposed to be fun, after all I'm a gay man I'm supposed to find purchasing new garments at least 168% as much fun as throwing around a selection of scatter cushions in an artistic fashion. Sadly stereotypes aren't always correct, though I do like a good scatter cushion.

Middle age must be beckoning, because now when I go around clothes shops I find myself saying horrendous comments that I believed only my parents were capable of uttering such as "These don't look very practical", or "They'll be a bugger to iron.". It's all really quite upsetting, I blame modern fashion. How on earth are you supposed to wear jeans whose legs taper to an infinitesimally small point at your ankle, so that they only really fit the triangular Mr Rush from Roger Hargreaves' Mr Men books? Or trousers that have a seam that spirals around your legs like a rampaging anaconda desperate on sucking the life force out of every vein your body. See they don't look very practical, and they would be a bugger to iron.

Frustrated by my inability to find anything I like in my regular shopping haunts, which whilst boasting an impressively large shop floor space seem to be laid out much like an episode of Scooby Doo. In that if you run for long enough it turns out you're just passing the same three T-shirts and one style of chino as that is all the animators could be bothered to draw. I decided to take the plunge and head to some more "designer" shops, shops that have been recommended by my friends, who whenever I meet them seem to be wearing clothes that look fashionable but not so outlandish fashionable, that they look like thye were dressed by a blind flamingo. So with expectations riding high, and a need to get some clothes that don't make me look like I've been attacked by Edward Scissorhands I headed for the "designer" shops.

The first thing I notice upon entering such stores, is it's not immediately obvious where the gender divide runs. Shops I'm used to like Next and River Island and even the department stores my mother used to take me to, are usually split with male and female departments on different floors. Which for men always means a trudge up and down a flight of stairs, I sometimes think it's a miracle that disabled men actually own any clothes and don't have to wheel around naked all the time. However in the new-fangled designer stores of my new fashionable lifestyle, it's not to so obvious. An arbitrary wiggly line runs down the middle of the shop with all the definition of a hotly dispute international border. It's easy to accidentally stray into hostile waters and find yourself looking at a T-shirt that looks really nice, except upon checking the price you realise it's a Size 8. With disgust you throw back the T-shirt horrified that someone might have seen you and instantly presumed you're a transvestite, rather than coming to the far more logical conclusion that you were shopping for someone else. Some shops make it even more complicated, Gap for example has pictures of androgynous models all around the store so you can't be sure if their male or female pictures near the clothes you are looking at. They're beautiful definitely, but every single model has a smooth face is clean shaven and sports suspiciously short hair. It takes just as long to judge their gender as it does to judge the gender of the clothes beneath them. Other stores go to more random extents, I'm sure my recent visit to Superdry was confused by them having a large men's department surrounded by various satellites of ladieswear, with no clear frontiers between the two. The other problem with this kind of stylish fashion, is even the garments that look obviously feminine could be for men, perhaps plunge neck T-shirts have become fashionable for the man about town, or maybe Culottes are now a unisex item, you can never be sure.

Of course complex segregation of male and female stores isn't the only potential pitfall for the unwary shopper. I recently visited a store called Abercrombie & Fitch for the first time, despite sounding like the name of two particularly ostentatious cats ("come down from the worktop Abercrombie"), it's actually a high-end designer clothing store. On arrival you're not met by the usual shop system that we're used to, the one that's served us well for the rest of our lives. No rather than being faced with the traditional door that you enter the shop through surrounded by windows displaying what the shop actually sells. You instead come face to face with a store with no windows, because it's too exclusive to actually display its wares, and a queuing system that would make Chessington World of Adventures envious. Yep that's right you have to queue outside the store just to make the store look more desirable so that more people join the queue, in a vicious cycle that couldn't be more British unless whilst waiting you were served tea and scones and got to say something deeply xenophobic. In my mind this doesn't make Abercrombie & Fitch look designer, it makes it look like the Post Office but with less old people.

Once you've meandered your way through the queuing system, there's a veritable team of people to great you at the door. Firstly, in order to give you the entirely false impression that the store is actually a five-star hotel, a number of smartly dressed men open the doors for you. Because you are clearly too important to open the door for yourself, as an aside (and I don't wish to do people out of jobs, especially in these tough economic times) but if not having to open the door is that important, why not just fit automatic doors – it works for Poundland. Up next there's a woman employed solely to say "Hello", that seems to be all she does, just says "Hello" – I could do that job..., if I was woman, wasn't a grumpy s**t and didn't have all the looks and charm of a rancid plate of semolina. Then there's an unfeasibly attractive half dressed man, with a ripped torso who you can pose and take a photo with. If that is you're mad. No one in their right mind gets their photo taken next to an unfeasibly attractive person, because in the resultant photo their beauty will make you like Quasimodo on a particularly unpleasant visit to the Burns unit. Upload that photo to Facebook and people won't be thinking about how attractive the man looks, or how much of a fun time you're having, but instead on how old you're looking or that they didn't realise you'd got fat. This is why sensible people only ever agree to get their photo taken with their ugly friends, because it makes them look that much better. And if you can't work out who the ugly person in your group is, then it's you. And before you make a smart a**e comment, I am fully away of my place in the food chain of looks, what can I say? I appreciate the plight of the plankton. Apparently you have to pay for the photos, again another connection between Abercrombie & Fitch  and Thorpe Park, though at least in this photo you won't look like you are vomiting your dinner up (sadly the same cannot be said about your friends viewing the photo making unfortunate comparisons between you and the model).

All this and you haven't even entered the store properly, in fairness it has to be said Abercrombie & Fitch looks pretty plush. Where Primark at the end of a busy day looks like the aftermath of a particularly bloody explosion at a Bring and Buy sale, Abercrombie & Fitch still looks elegant and tidy. Primarily this is because the minute you do so much as even breathe in the direction of one of the display racks a team of highly trained professionals rush to rearrange all the tops lest you upset the karma of the store. The shop's wears are, as you'd expect from a designer clothing label, perfectly bog standard t-shirts, hoddies and jumper swhere the inclusion of a designer logo has led to the decimal point, on the price ticket, jumping one place to the right. Aside from the clothes, the most bizarre thing I discovered in the store was a dance floor complete with dancers. No, not some professional dance act recruited in from a swanky London performing arts college, but actual members of staff, in the staff "uniform" dancing away. As if to show that working for this company is soooo amazing, all we get to do is dance all day because we're that cool, and our lives our wonderful because we work for Abercrombie & Fitch and we're only employed because we're beautiful. All us mortals can do is hope that they all spend the work Christmas party crying in the corner because they realise just how fake all their work friends are, that they'll be forced to wear a branded paper bag over their head the minute they hit 25 in case they make people wretch, and that their lives are meaningless pawns in a sea of commercialised bulls**t. As I say, all we can do is hope, because actually they're having a great time. To**ers.

Despite the clear abundance of staff in the store, with enough spare people to dance next to the racks of clothes and fold out every micro-crinkle that the displaced air caused as you moved your fat body through the store. Despite all this, when I visited there was only one till open, and a massive queue. Would it have killed the brand image if for one moment the dance floor had been emptied and some people manned the tills? Apparently it would have. Unfortunately for some ridiculous reason the problem of the large queue was magnified by the fact that the till area was decked out with more mirrors than the average swanky hair salon. Resulting in thousands of copies of the same row of frustrated sand bored faces being visible on every surface wherever you looked, much like a Girls Aloud concert.

Obviously the big question is did I buy anything? Of course not, I was just confused by the array of unknown shopping experiences I hadn't expected. Like Henry VIII wandering through a modern shopping centre for the first time, both appalled and intrigued at what I saw with equal measure. Which coincidentally is the same set of facial reactions you see if ever I'm forced to watch The Only Way is Essex. Instead I simply walked out of the store, empty handed only to pass the "Hello" lady again, except this time she said "Goodbye" – but in a tone that really said "I knew this shop wasn't really for you, but I didn't say anything as you came in.'

On that note I'll bid you adjure, except to say you can now follow my tedious ramblings on Twitter just "connect with" @ProByNumbers #goonyouknowyouwantto – see look at me down with the kids. Last night you missed me agree to marry Annie on Twitter. And incidentally if anyone has any decent second hand clothes they wish to send me, they'll be welcome. The situation is getting quite desperate. I claim to be a size Small, but in reality unless it's at least a big Medium, the fabric will be pulled across my body tighter than the skin on Anne Robinson's face.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 01, 2012, 09:25:35 am
Just go to TK Maxx and be done with it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on March 01, 2012, 09:33:17 am
Case in point why I just have band t-shirts, none of this branded nonsense!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on March 01, 2012, 09:55:18 am
Stop lying Lee, it's because normal clothes shops for human beings won't let you in  :wink;m::

If its any consolation I work with the homeless and they're often calling me a tramp, I don't think I own anything that doesn't have holes, tears, or paint on it anymore. Spend all my money on plastic though.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: LB on March 01, 2012, 11:13:48 am
I'm gonna sound like such a !@%$#%@, but Abercrombie stuff is worth the extra dollar for me. Doesn't stretch, well cut, and not brutally expensive. Got a few bits from there when I was in NY a couple of years ago and they're still looking groovy.

Superdry and Penguin stuff is also money. And All Saints if you win the lottery.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on March 01, 2012, 01:25:42 pm
See this is why my wardrobe consists mainly of sports tops and shirts. Never any chance of confusion there.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 01, 2012, 03:00:00 pm
Tangent alert! On page 41 of today's Shortlist there's a feature called "The Best TV You've Never Seen" where they show off a Canadian drama called jpod, unfortunately rather than putting a picture of that drama in the article, they've accidentally put a picture of a feature called J-Pod from a children's television programme I made 5 years ago. lol!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on March 06, 2012, 07:49:15 am
Upon not knowing what culottes were I did an image search on google for a culotte.... whilst at work. Thats a lot of women in their underwear I just showed the people behind me.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Jal on March 06, 2012, 08:26:30 am
I may have done the same thing ><
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 06, 2012, 08:59:30 am
Quote from: Crompton on March 06, 2012, 07:49:15 am
Upon not knowing what culottes were I did an image search on google for a culotte.... whilst at work. Thats a lot of women in their underwear I just showed the people behind me.

Well there's a lesson for all of us, in not using Google Images to search for things we're unsure of the meaning of!!!!  :wink;m:: Not sure why you got so many underwear images though a Culotte is a "divided skirt" essentially a skirt with separate legs or a skirt/short hybrid! Though I found this out in Chambers Dictionary, a much safer way to check unknown quantities!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 06, 2012, 09:10:39 am
Update 53 – Tuesday 6th March 2012: Where were you when ITV Play died?

There are many important moments in global history that for the rest of your life you'll almost certainly remember where you were, when you first heard about them.

Where were you when The Berlin Wall fell? – I don't know, I was only seven at the time. Though I do seem to remember hearing about it on Newsround and wondering why the people didn't just walk around the wall (simpler times).

Where were you when Princess Diana died? – At home sitting on my bed annoyed that the news was on when it was supposed to be CBBC.

Where were you when the Queen Mother died? – At home, where I'd just finished watching Auntie's Bloomers, the outtake programme hosted by Terry Wogan. Problem with watching outtake programmes is you get in the mind-set that whatever you're watching is about to go wrong. So as I was watching Peter Sissions break the news of the Queen Mother's death I kept expecting him to fall of his chair – as it was the only thing that went wrong on that day was when he decided to leave his burgundy tie on.

Where were you when September the 11th happened? – On my first trip to America, unashamedly shi**ing myself as my holiday seemed to be turning into Armaggedon – obviously now with hindsight I wasn't really affected by those events, certainly compared to the thousands that were, but sadly that logic still doesn't pay for the resultant rather expensive dry cleaning bill.

This is rather roundabout way of filling up some blog inches before I ask you the key question of this blog, where were you when ITV Play died? You probably don't remember, the reason I ask is because today the 6th of March is the fifth anniversary of the day ITV Play said goodbye – and they say I can't be topical. I believe to mark the occasion ITV are burning Brian Dowling on a giant bonfire consisting of your cash. If you want to be part of this event all you have to do is call 08845 600 9000, and answer this simple question, what is the name of the main street on which Coronation Street is set?

A.   Coronation Street
B.   Baghdad High Road
C.   Cheryl Cole's Driveway

Calls cost £85 per minute and you almost certainly won't be picked to be put through to the studio but your call will still be charged.

For those of you who don't remember ITV Play it was one channel, amongst a plethora of other digital and satellite offerings which showed back to back phone-in quizzes. Where suspiciously attractive looking presenters, and Brian Dowling (I should at this point apologise to Brian Dowling for being the only quiz show presenter I unfavourably compare throughout this blog, but it's your own fault being the only quiz show presenter who has reinvented their career and thus remains in my consciousness) asked a series of apparently deceptively simple quiz questions. Each question was worth a not unreasonable cash prize, and as caller after caller rang into the studio only to give the wrong answer the average viewer was left increasingly confident that their answer was the correct one, until eventually they called in.

Television call-in quizzes got in trouble back in 2007 after a number of high profile programmes, across many channels, had been found to be conducting their quizzes unfairly with callers not being selected equitably or production team members standing in for callers, amongst some of the complaints. ITV Play itself got in trouble when viewers complained about the question "What items might be found in a woman's handbag?", to which two of the answers were "Rawplugs" and a "Balaclava". As the numbers of scandals across the industry increased the Press eagerly started a campaign against television for not being 100% honest, thus making the revelations back in 2011 that the press weren't 100% honest all the more shocking. Eventually, with public opinion mounting, ITV suspended all quiz channels and interactive quizzes within programmes on the 5th of March 2007 pending an independent audit with ITV Play broadcast its final shows in the early hours of the 6th of March. On the 13th March ITV announced ITV Play would not return, and on the 16th of March ITV replaced the ITV Play channel with ITV2 + 1 making the channel about 96% less watchable.

Of course television has changed lot since then, after it went through another scandal as viewers realised that television lied to them about other things to. The scandal had many sorry chapters including the revelation that EastEnders wasn't a documentary, the discovery that Gordon the Gopher wasn't real and the outrageous disclosure that Dale Winton was actually straight.

The reason why I bring all of this up and focus specifically on ITV Play, yes there is a point – you'll be shocked to discover, is that I once auditioned for ITV Play. Many years ago when I began my career in television when I was 18, (don't question the fact that according to this blog I was seven in 1989 and eighteen in 2007 – that would be rude), I was on many websites where television jobs were appearing and I often applied for all kinds of different entry level jobs in order to get myself more experience. One such job was as an assistant presenter on an ITV Play programme called "The Debbie King Show". The job involved being taking over during the show when quiz-show royalty Debbie King was having a break, clearly it's exhausting ripping off the general public for three hours straight.

Despite my MAJOR reservations about doing this kind of job, let alone the moral and ethical issues, I was convinced by friends that applying would be an experience – they weren't wrong! After sending off my application I was contacted by a researcher from the programme, for the purposes of storytelling let's call him Gavin. Gavin informed that they would like me to come in for an audition and provided me with the time and location for where to attend. It was at this point it first became clear that Gavin had all the intellect of a Findus Crispy Pancake. I quickly Googled the provided address only to find it was several miles away from the nearest station that Gavin had told me to go to, something smelled odd. I e-mailed Gavin to confirm that the address provided was correct, only for him to reply with "No! That's not the correct address" in a tone that seemed to suggest I'd volunteered the location, rather than was querying the address that he'd sent me in the first place. It turned out that Gavin hadn't sent me a different address, he'd just manage to make a typo in the correct address. Easily done you may think, except Gavin had managed to make a mistake on three lines of a four a line address! An impressively moronic feat even before you remember the fact that this address was the location of where he worked, his office, a place he visits every day! It's almost if Gavin had got the address of his workplace through an elaborate game of Chinese whispers in the office.

Despite Gavin's best attempts I managed to turn up at the company's offices, where I was shown in by Gavin who impressed even himself by being able to successfully operate a door. It also turned out that Gavin was not only a cretin, but had an annoying habit of just laughing moronically in response to whatever was said. I introduced myself as Matt, Gavin laughed. I thanked him for showing me in, Gavin laughed. I think the response would have been the same if I'd have produced a surface-to-air missile launcher from my bag and threatened to fire the entire salvo directly into his genitalia.
Inside I found myself in an office so ridiculous trendy that it was almost a caricature of itself, if Edina and Patsy had stumbled out from one of the doors I wouldn't have been surprised. I wandered in between desks, avoiding the office's resident dog – which apparently was necessary for a "creative department". Gavin headed towards a room named the "creative room", which given what I'd already seen, concerned me that it might be a wing of Battersea Dogs Home. Fortunately I wasn't set upon by a pack of ravenous hounds, Gavin ushered me to one of the chairs, but being a "creative room" these weren't normal chairs, instead I was asked to sit on a Perspex chair which was artily designed so that the seat of the chair was approximately one inch off the floor. This major design feature essentially made the chair impossible to use for its primary purpose of sitting, as I was forced to squat down in a ridiculously low position looking about as graceful as I imagine I would if I was trying to climb onto a camel. Once in the seated position, I now had the strange problem of what to do with my legs, with my bottom only an inch off the ground my legs were completely obscuring my face to Gavin as he tried to brief me. In the end my legs ended up sort of splayed out across the floor, making it look as if I'd fallen off a high balcony and landed on the chair breaking my back in the process. These ridiculous transparent Perspex chairs were accompanied by an equally stupid clear Perspex table which to match the chairs was only two inches high, thus representing an almost invisible trip hazard. I started to seriously consider the possibility that Gavin had designed this furniture himself.

After a quick briefing I was taken over to stand in front of a camera and do my audition piece, I wasn't too nervous about this, primarily because Gavin was operating the camera so I suspected the chances of it actually being filmed were minimal. I was given a question, a fictitious phone number and a celebrity gossip story to talk about. The twist on The Debbie King Show, was that as well as playing the competition she would also be discussing topical celebrity news stories, which viewers would be able to call in about and offer their opinion on (for the nominal fee of 75 pence a call). My celebrity gossip story was about Heather Mills' appearance on the American version of Strictly Come Dancing. As I preceded to "host" the competition, Gavin played the role of a series of moronic callers giving ridiculous answers to the set question and asking me whether I thought Heather Mills would be able to dance with only one leg, a role which he seemed suited to, were it not for the moronic laugh he gave every time I told him he had the wrong answer.  Once I completed my audition Gavin laughed, unsurprisingly, and then told me I'd been very "technical".  Technical? Really? The only technical thing I did was read out the question and phone number, a question and phone number he had invented?! Perhaps reading out 11 consecutive digits is technical to Gavin, either that or in my tedium I'd accidentally told the audience how to go about changing a carburettor in your car engine. It could have happened.

I never saw my audition tape, according to Gavin it was sent to the ITV bosses for review, which I sincerely hope is a different postal address than submissions for You've Been Framed. So rather fortunately that tape will never see the light of day again, though this is ITV so there is a chance it will be played out during England's next World Cup goal or broadcast on their current affairs programme after being described as IRA training footage.

As I went to leave the audition room an unbelievably camp drip of a man burst through the door in a manner so ridiculously over the top that even Julian Clary would have thought it a tad effeminate. He introduced himself as JC, presumably because he shares all the personality of two-thirds of a digger. And then with his camp lisp, excitedly disgorged the information that Britney Spears had just shaved her head and walked into the path of oncoming traffic. This revelation that a celebrity and mother was having a full scale mental breakdown caused both Gavin and JC to burst into hysterics, something that I felt was rather distasteful. I left at this point, worried that my gay-dar was going to explode in the presence of such a highly refined source of pure homosexuality.

I never heard back from The Debbie King Show, which I presumed meant I hadn't been successful in my audition, though it may have been and Gavin simply rung the speaking clock in error confusing our similar phone numbers. To be honest I was quite relived not to have been selected, if anything the audition process had cemented my views on the hideousness of the genre. I did decide to watch the launch night of The Debbie King Show, in that sort of morbidly curious way you watch a car crash. I was strangely intrigued to see if JC had got the job, though the bit I managed to stomach solely featured Debbie King. Based on my snapshot of the programme, it would appear that the production company had hoped to recover the entire outlay spent on the set with the first phone call!

Unfortunately for The Debbie King Show its first transmission date was the 5th of March 2007, and if you remember way back at the beginning of this blog, you'll know that on the early hours of the 6th of March, ITV Play ceased transmission permanently. That's right after all that effort there was only ever one addition of The Debbie King Show – poor Debbie, Gavin and JC, they must have been devastated.

If you take one thing from this blog, let it be the theory that if you turn me down for a job your channel gets pulled the very next day! If enough people think it's true, the myth will enter folklore and I'll never be looking for work again!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 06, 2012, 01:28:43 pm
excellent, I love a happy ending. But next time you should really ensure that the 'jc' or 'gavin' characters die a horrible death as it makes for far more satisfying reading.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on March 06, 2012, 02:27:40 pm
He's probably moved onto pastures new, such as the Jeremy Kyle show.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on March 06, 2012, 03:43:01 pm
Funnily enough, I went for an interview with an investment bank in my final year of undergrad, when I had this crazy idea that a career in banking might actually be a vaguely bearable prospect (and because all my friends seemed to be doing it).

I didn't get the job - they probably sensed that I would rather extract my nipples with boltcutters than work there.
But the bank in question was Lehman Brothers. So I like to think I also contributed to the demise of a major institution!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 07, 2012, 11:50:12 am
Hmm, I had aborted job efforts with - BP, Organon, GSK AstraZeneca and Pfizer before finally settling on Metabolism Research in the form of Inveresk Research.  Turns out that job was shite and I lasted 6 months before ditching the world of pharaceuticals for the far more friendly and comfortable world of finance.

Since then I've spent the last 9 years working for one of the big bad accountancy firms (oops not meant to call them that, professional services firm). Doing a couple of different things, initially getting my qualification I did audit, in laymens terms blindly signing off peoples accounts as fine whist doing menial tasks of checking one thing to another.  After 4 excrutiatingly dull years of doing that (but with the perks of specialising in the drinks industry before they completely banned the use of staff shops and sundry perks of that ilk) I then flipped into the wonderful world of infrastructure finance and spend my days dealing with the lovely combination of government, construction firms and bankers.  Most of the bankers are actually quite normal people, who knew!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 07, 2012, 07:59:19 pm
Quote from: Dave on March 07, 2012, 11:50:12 am
Most of the bankers are actually quite normal people, who knew!

I didn't!

Glad to see other people have had a good go at ruining companies that don't give them jobs.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on March 07, 2012, 09:05:51 pm
QuoteI didn't!

Don't i count  :cry:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 07, 2012, 09:07:33 pm
Quote from: lagar312 on March 07, 2012, 09:05:51 pm
Don't i count  :cry:

The exception that proves the rule, of course! awkward - didn't know you were a banker
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on March 07, 2012, 11:25:10 pm
Update 52 needed to target Hollister as well. Seriously, there's queues outside it when I go to Bluewater! Pretentiousness personified (if a shop were a person, I mean).

I had an interview with a major pharmaceutical company on Monday, I hope I don't end up miserable about it! Some friends in my field have transferred over to finance-type jobs, one of them's been at the FSA for a while. Don't think I'd like that really. JSA not FSA FTW!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 07:14:26 am
Quote from: Undead Dan on March 07, 2012, 11:25:10 pm
Update 52 needed to target Hollister as well. Seriously, there's queues outside it when I go to Bluewater! Pretentiousness personified (if a shop were a person, I mean).

I believe Hollister and Abercrombie are part of the same company, or linked in someway, either way they are just as bad for the Chessington World of Adventures queue line!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 07:15:57 am
Update 54 – Thursday 8th March 2012: Here be Dragons – no really there are

Warning this post contains an awful lot of pics, 3G users beware!

This week in hobbyland I've had a very productive week where I've finished lots of half-started things, I love weeks like this but I always find it gives you an unexpected impression of your own level of speed and expertise. So that next week when I invariably start on something new I will be disappointed I didn't rattle it off in a couple of hours like these last projects. Such is the inevitable disappointment that is life.

Anyway onto the comparatively boring bit of some actual finished models. The astute amongst you may have notice I have stolen the title of the blog from Noah's fine (if irregularly updated) blog, in fairness I don't think he can claim credit for the invention of the phrase. However unlike Noah's blog this blog is actually going to feature Dragons, yep lots of lovely fire-breathing dragons to roast the cockles of your heart this cold March morning. Everything here is 100% guaranteed to feature a Dragon or your money back – (just remember you didn't pay for it, before you get your lawyer on the phone).

Up first it's time for the Dragon Princes of Caledor, see Dragons, ok they aren't riding Dragons but they are dreaming of it, and that's good enough for this tenuously themed blog. Back in Update 47 (was it really that long ago) I left you on the gripping cliff-hanger that was Stage 2 of my extra 5 Dragon Princes decided to expand my unit up to a mighty 10 (or 2 Doom Diver hits worth, in alternate measuring systems). Here's the remaining stages to take them up to being finished:

Stage 3 – Dragon Princes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2493.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2499.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2503.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Rocks: Drybrushed Codex Grey
Masonry: Overbrushed Khemri Brown
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Tail and Leg Fur: Drybrushed Skull White
Horse Body: Layered slightly watered down Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlighted Chainmail
Gold Metal: Washed Gryphonne Sepia
Reins: Highlighted Bestial Brown
White Cloth: Layered slightly watered down Skull White
Blue Cloth and Pennant: Highlighted 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Layered Sunburst Yellow
Lance: Layered slightly watered down Bleached Bone
Flesh: Washed Ogyrn Flesh


And finally...

Stage 4 – Dragon Princes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2782.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2785.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2796.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2798.jpg)

Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone, then flocked with Static Grass
Rocks: Drybrushed Fortress Grey, then washed Badab Black
Masonry: Overbrushed Dheneb Stone, then Overbrushed Bleached Bone
Hooves: Highlighted Codex Grey
Tail and Leg Fur: Washed very weak Badab Black, then drybrushed Skull White
Horse Body: Washed very weak Badab Black, then layered Skull White
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlighted 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Reins: *NO CHANGE*
White Cloth: Layered Skull White
Blue Cloth and Pennant: *NO CHANGE*
Yellow Cloth and Armour Trim: Washed Ogryn Flesh, then highlighted Bad Moon Yellow
Lance: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlighted Bleached Bone


Then it was just a case of adding eyes, gems and the like – as in the first half of the unit I gave some red gems to my Dragon Princes. For my army I had only used yellow and blue gems on rank and file and saved red gems for characters but as Dragon Princes are supposed to be the most arrogant of Elves it seemed fitting for them to also have some red gems. Naughty.

And here they are ranked up with their predecessors from the final month of Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2803.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2805.jpg)

Oh and yes peeps the infinity curve is back you lucky, lucky people – check out Update  42 (god was the infinity curve that long ago?! I was straight back then, well on the blog at least!). This time I've placed the infinity curve on the carpet (where I usually do my photographing) save me having to clear the chest of drawers and demolish the house (plus also covers up those unsightly pubic hairs that now again drift into shot). See Annie I do care!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2867.jpg)

Next up it's a quick trip to the oceans of the Warhammer world for a look at another ship from the Dreadfleet.  This time it's The Bloody Reaver, the flagship of the Dreadfleet itself. For those of you not familiar with the game and background it may be helpful to know (so you don't think I've gone crazy with my colour choices) what the background of The Bloody Reaver is. The Bloody Reaver was formed when our naughty Vampire Pirate Lord Count Noctilius, a man who really couldn't decide between two distinct fancy dress costumes, teleported his castle from Sylvannia. The castle arrived in the Maelstrom where a group of shipwrecks rose up from the depths to form a base for it thus turning it into a ship, hence the amalgam of rocks, ships, castle and other debris that makes up the ship. Bit like that bit in Titanic, you know the bit.

And before you start moaning there's no Dragons, look at the prow of the ship a Sea Dragon skeleton – see don't doubt me.

Here's follows another one of my excellent if unread 87 part stage-by-stage guides to painting your own Dreadfleet ships. As before I followed the guidelines in the White Dwarf and assembly instructions on the box for what sub-assemblies to construct before painting – check out Update 51 for more details.

Stage 1 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2869.jpg)

Rocks: Adeptus Battlegrey
Bones: Khemri Brown
Ship Wreck Hulls: Mercherite Red or Knarloc Green or Gretchin Green or Moridan Blue or Boltgun Metal or Scab Red or Chaos Black
Ship Wreck Decks & Masts: Codex Grey or Calthan Brown or Khemri Brown or Tin Bitz
Masts: Drybrush Codex Grey
Sea: Regal Blue
Path: Scorched Brown


Stage 2 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2870.jpg)

Rocks: Wash 1:1 Badab Black/Devlan Mud
Bones: Dheneb Stone
Shipwreck Hulls: All wash Devlan Mud, (Chaos Black) highlight Adeptus Battlegrey
Shipwreck Decks & Masts: (Codex Grey) wash 1:1 Badab Black/Devlan Mud; (Calthan Brown) wash Devlan Mud; (Khemri Brown) Drybrush Kommando Khaki, (Tin Bitz) wash Devlan Mud
Masts: Drybrush Fortress Grey, wash Badab Black
Sea: Heavily Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Path: 1:1 Scorched Brown/Khemri Brown


Stage 3 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2871.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Bones: Wash Devlan Mud
Shipwreck Hulls: (Moridan Blue) Moridan Blue, (Knarloc Green) Catachan Green, (Gretchin Green) Camo Green, (Scab Red) Red Gore, (Mercherite Red) Scab Red, (Chaos Black) highlight Codex Grey, (Boltgun Metal) highlight Boltgun Metal
Shipwreck Masts: (Codex Grey) Drybrush Codex Grey, (Calthan Brown & Khemri Brown) Drybrush Bleached Bone, (Tin Bitz) highlight 4:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Masts: DONE
Sea: Drybrush Wave Crests Ice Blue
Path: Layer watered down Kommando Khaki
Sails: Liche Purple


Stage 4 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2872.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush 1:1 Fortress Grey /Skull White
Bones: Layer Bleached Bone
Shipwreck Hulls: (Moridan Blue) Highlight Spacewolves Grey, (Knarloc Green) highlight Camo Green, (Gretchin Green) highlight 1:1 Camo Green /Skull White, -(Mercherite Red) highlight Kommando Khaki, (Chaos Black) DONE, (Boltgun Metal) highlight Chainmail
Shipwreck Masts: DONE
Masts: DONE
Sea: Wash 1:1 Badab Black/Tharaka Green
Path: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Sails: Layer Warlock Purple
Castle Walls: Codex Grey
Castle Roofs: Mercherite Red
Silver Detail: Tin Bitz
Gold Detail: 1:1 Shining Gold/Scorched Brown
Wood Detail: Calthan Brown
Flag: Astronomacian Grey


Stage 5 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2873.jpg)

Rocks: DONE
Bones: Highlight Skull White
Shipwreck Hulls: DONE
Shipwreck Masts: DONE
Masts: DONE
Sea: Highlight watered down Skull White
Path: DONE
Sails: Wash Leviathan Purple
Castle Walls: Wash Badab Black
Castle Roofs: Layer Red Gore
Silver Detail: Wash Badab Black
Gold Detail: Shining Gold
Wood Detail: Badab Black
Ship Debris: As Heldenhammer/Flaming Scimitar Cogs
Flag: Watered down Skull White


Stage 6 – The Bloody Reaver

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2874.jpg)

Rocks: DONE
Bones: DONE
Shipwreck Hull: DONE
Shipwreck Masts: DONE
Masts: DONE
Sea: DONE
Path: DONE
Sails: Layer Warlock Purple, then highlight 1:1 Warlock Purple/Skull White
Castle Walls: Layer Fortress Grey
Castle Roofs: Badab Black
Silver Detail: Highlight Chainmail
Sail Detail: Dheneb Stone
Gold Detail: Devlan Mud
Wood Detail: Snakebite Leather
Ship Debris: As Heldenhammer/Flaming Scimitar Cogs
Flag: Skull White


Stage 7 – The Bloody Reaver

Rocks: DONE
Bones: DONE
Shipwreck Hull: DONE
Shipwreck Masts: DONE
Masts: DONE
Sea: DONE
Path: DONE
Sails: DONE
Castle Walls: Layer 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White then highlight Skull White
Castle Roofs: Highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Detail: DONE
Sail Details: Layer Bleached Bone
Gold Details: Highlight Burnished Gold
Wood Details: DONE
Sail Debris: As Heldenhammer/Flaming Scimitar Cogs
Flag: DONE


And here she is all finished:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2814.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2817.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2819.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2823.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2830.jpg)

Just like with the Heldenhammer last week I had problems with the sub-assemblies this week, as the two halves of the ship simply would not join together:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2825.jpg)

Looks like a green stuffing session for me, speaking on the subject of the Heldehammer (seamless link alert) thanks for all the suggestions for repairs I could make to the Heldenhammer back in Update 51. Bravely I decided to snip the mast at the base – gulp. I then cried a lot. And then drilled and filed out the bit of plastic left in the masts whole, this did a tiny of bit damage to the deck – nothing horrendous and worth worrying about. Then like a charm it all fitted together again, I glued the mast, it's a lot more stable now!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2811.jpg)

This made me very happy. Oh and if you're thinking there's no connection between the Heldenhammer and Dragons you'd be wrong because of course "Helden" is the old Norse word for Dragon – probably.

Oh ok so you want a Dragon proper, fair dos, here's my High Elf Prince on Dragon, last seen in Update 44 – look at me going cross-referencing crazy! You may remember that I left you last time on a tricky wing conundrum. Originally I'd planned to leave the wings separate for ease of transport, however one of the tabs had broken off within the Dragon body – what to do. Well in the end I went for broke and decided to just glue the wings on, sod it. It will be fixed, I'll never be able to take it to the club to play with but that seems like a minor inconvenience. The left hand wing – with the broken tab, was pinned in place (god pinning plastic is so much easier than pinning metal the drill actually drills through it) and the right wing was glued in the normal way. Then I used green stuff to both join the gap and strengthen the join:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2677.jpg)

This was then painted up to match the rest of the Dragon and I completed the final stage of the Dragon:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2840.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2844.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2849.jpg)
Sorry for the rogue bit of carpet here, turns out my infinity curve isn't quite infinite enough!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2851.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2856.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2858.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2862.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2864.jpg)

Dragon

Base: Drybrush Bleach Bone, then Flock with Static Grass
Rock: Drybrush Fortress Grey then wash Badab Black
Elven Pillar: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Bird: DONE
Saddle and Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Horns and Teeth: Highlight Skull White
Mouth and Tongue: Highlight Skull White
Skin: DONE
Scales: Highlight 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Wing Membrane: DONE


Prince

Necklace: Highlight Beastial Brown
Pendant: DONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Armour Trim and Blue Cloth: DONE
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone then highlight Bleached Bone
Wood: DONE


Shield

Wood: DONE
Shield Field: Highlight Skull White
Phoenix: DONE
Flames: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow


Back Rest

Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver then highlight Mithril Silver
Padding: DONE


See an actual Dragon, told you there would be Dragons! By the way this seems like the most appropriate time to use this smilie: :whitedragon001:

And finally... not a phrase you see written that often in this blog, so enjoy it whilst you can. And finally finished off the Archers, also last seen back in Update 47, here you go:

Stage 3 – High Elf Archers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2509.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2512.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2522.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Highlighted Beastial Brown
Robes: Layered with watered down Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlighted with Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Washed Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh: Washed with Ogryn Flesh
Sleeves and Trousers: Highlighted (Sash) / Drybrushed (Quiver) with 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Sash and Quivers: Layered with Sunburst Yellow
Hair: Drybrushed with Vomit Brown (Vomit Brown base) or Drybrushed with Bleached Bone (Dheneb Stone base) or Drybrushed with Snakebite Leather (Calthan Brown base) or Drybrushed with Beastial Brown (Scorched Brown base)
Wood: Layered with slightly watered down Bleached Bone


Stage 4 – High Elf Archers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2770.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2774.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2778.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2756.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2762.jpg)

Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone and Flocked with Grass
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Robes: Layered with Skull White
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlighted with 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlighted with Bleached Bone
Sleeves and Trousers: *NO CHANGE*
Sash and Quivers: Washed with Ogryn Flesh, highlighted with Bad Moon Yellow
Hair: Drybrushed with Bleached Bone (Vomit Brown base) or Drybrushed with Skull White (Dheneb Stone base) or Drybrushed with Bubonic Brown (Calthan Brown base) or Drybrushed with Snakebite Leather (Scorched Brown base)
Wood: *NO CHANGE*


Ok they have nothing to do with Dragons, but they do have comedy Shakeaway banner, as well as the real one, well here you go:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2837.jpg)

It's the Banner of the Spilt Milkshake, and makes the unit bearing it subject to frenzy and hatred of the unit or model that spilt their milkshake in the first place!!

Goodness, what a busy painting week. As always would love here to your comments, suggestions, advice, sex tips (I am sure I will regret putting this flippant comment down) etc. so get posting!

I am off to ruin the institution of marriage, have a good week!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on March 08, 2012, 09:14:20 am
I'll have you know there's an update in the pipe line as we speak, one to include dragons no less!
You can't really blame me for being so rubbish at blogging, my life is boring compared to yours!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 10:54:57 am
Quote from: noahtonkin on March 08, 2012, 09:14:20 am
I'll have you know there's an update in the pipe line as we speak, one to include dragons no less!

Cool! I look forward to seeing it, it's always fun seeing other people's blogs when there's a bit of extra rambling in them. I was a bit disappointed when I saw on Games Workshop's "What's New Today" blog on the 5th of March, claiming they had a Director's Cut of the new Lord of the Rings - Tale of Four Gamers, as there was just so much they couldn't fit in White Dwarf. The Director's Cut was literally two four-line paragraphs - they really haven't got the hang of rambling!!!

Quote from: noahtonkin on March 08, 2012, 09:14:20 am
You can't really blame me for being so rubbish at blogging, my life is boring compared to yours!

Really?! I don't think that is possible.

Looking forward to seeing the Dragon  :whitedragon001:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on March 08, 2012, 11:20:32 am
I seem to struggle to find the time to put together my blog updates! About 3 weeks behind at the moment!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 11:32:01 am
Quote from: maelzch on March 08, 2012, 11:20:32 am
I seem to struggle to find the time to put together my blog updates! About 3 weeks behind at the moment!

This is the Catch 22, isn't it? If you have a boring life you have time to put your blog together but nothing to write about, and if you have a fun life lots for the blog, but no time to assemble! Problems, problems.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on March 08, 2012, 12:08:10 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 11:32:01 am
This is the Catch 22, isn't it? If you have a boring life you have time to put your blog together but nothing to write about, and if you have a fun life lots for the blog, but no time to assemble! Problems, problems.

Haha, that is a blogging conundrum! Maybe the ideal solution is to have a boring life and loads of time - and then invent a fantasy exciting life to blog about...

That reminds me, I should write a blog about that time I wrestled with bears. Funny story.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on March 08, 2012, 12:19:26 pm
Some nice painting stuff whoo! Does the Cog for the Bloody Reaver really have a chicken head at the front?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 12:57:16 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on March 08, 2012, 12:08:10 pm
Maybe the ideal solution is to have a boring life and loads of time - and then invent a fantasy exciting life to blog about...

S**t you've found me out!

Quote from: Undead Dan on March 08, 2012, 12:19:26 pm
Some nice painting stuff whoo! Does the Cog for the Bloody Reaver really have a chicken head at the front?!

Cheers glad you like it! Yeah I hadn't noticed until you said, it does look like a chicken!! No idea what it's supposed to be, I've got another three to paint so maybe I'll work it out then!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on March 09, 2012, 01:54:26 pm
I think I've discovered your problem in life, Matt  :thumbsup:

(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dating-fails-dating-fails-forever-a-blogger.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 09, 2012, 01:55:51 pm
Cheers, that's cheered me up no end  :endit: :endit: :endit: :endit: :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 09, 2012, 03:14:45 pm
How does that compare to the other circle with 'hi, I looked at your blog'?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on March 09, 2012, 06:42:07 pm
That person lives 6000 miles away, is the opposite sex to that which they claim and weigh in excess of 30 stone.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on March 10, 2012, 09:54:33 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on March 08, 2012, 11:32:01 am
This is the Catch 22, isn't it? If you have a boring life you have time to put your blog together but nothing to write about, and if you have a fun life lots for the blog, but no time to assemble! Problems, problems.
Can't you combine the 2 people together? So the guy with lots of time follows the other person about and writes their blog for them? Kind of a mix between a stalker and a ghost writer!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 10, 2012, 12:07:00 pm
Quote from: Crompton on March 10, 2012, 09:54:33 am
Can't you combine the 2 people together? So the guy with lots of time follows the other person about and writes their blog for them? Kind of a mix between a stalker and a ghost writer!

My boring life may be tragic, but even I know that following around and minuting someone else's fun life would be a new level of tragedy! Mind you who's to say I don't have a fun level and actual dictate this blog to an army of willing nerds?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on March 11, 2012, 09:56:28 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on March 10, 2012, 12:07:00 pm
Mind you who's to say I don't have a fun level and actual dictate this blog to an army of willing nerds?

This might be true but whenever I see you the army of nerds is certainly not present. Just saying.  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 11, 2012, 11:10:42 am
They could be very well hidden. I of course meant 'live' not 'level' in the previous post!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 15, 2012, 01:20:19 pm
Update 55 – Thursday 15th March 2012: Oh my God there's a Raging Inferno in the Kitchen – Oh no Wait it's just the Candles on my Birthday Cake!

Ever had someone ask you how old you are, and then when you reply with you REAL age, they say the phrase "In your head maybe, go on what's your real age?". This is always a comforting reaction to admitting your age, in that sort of way that having an armed squad from the KGB smash in your windows and hold you at gun point is comforting.

To avoid the inevitable awkwardness of having to guess my real age is I can tell you now, that contrary to popular opinion it's not 21, but I'm in fact 29 but not for much longer, 30 is looming like Eric Pickles looming over an all-you-can-eat buffet, hence the reason I feel this conversation is specifically pertinent.

As I get towards the age where the London Fire Brigade need to be called to put out the candles on my cake, I'm forced to question at what point am I old, and at what point is it ok to moan about being old? Is 30 old? It would be old for a cat but young for a cast member of Last of the Summer Wine, so I guess like all things its relative.

Which brings me to the next point, friends of mine who are closer to 40 have claimed that I have no right to moan about being old? Really? But what about a 50 year old, surely they would say the same to thing to the aforementioned 40 year old, if he moaned about being old. Extending this logic surely the only person allowed to moan would be the oldest person alive, as they bore the second oldest person alive with statements beginning "You think you're old...". But surely if you follow my earlier logic a two-year old can moan at a one-year old about how young they are, which to be honest I don't mind if it's done with appropriate wit and comic flare.

Clearly neither of the extremities I have detailed above are any more correct than the fact that Kerry Katona's allowed to breed and she hasn't been chemically sterilised for the good of the gene pool. So what age is it ok to moan about being old? To add to the evidence only a few weeks ago I was telling a friend who'd just turned 23 to "shut up" after they moaned about being old. If that's the case what gives me the right a mere seven years later to do the same?

Well in fairness I think there's one very good reasons why the mid-twenties (and by that I mean late-twenties, but at least it's still the twenties), are the time to start moaning about your age. Because this is the first time in your life you start to realise you're not the youngest any more. Fair enough people in their thirties are older, but it's in your late twenties when you first realise you are at the top of a slippery slope. It's here at the top of a hideous metaphorical helter-skelter ending in a pit of spikes somewhere around the eighties mark, that you realise thirties are your inevitable destiny, just as forties are the destiny of those in there thirties and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

You see between 18 and 25 you can claim you're young, because no one's younger than you. Of course there are children, but there have always been children, and you're used to children being younger than you from school. In school children are segregated entirely by age, and there was an advantage to being older, as older kids got to beat up younger kids/take their pick over who got anally bu**ered (dependent on whether you were state or private educated). No the late twenties are the first time there are genuine adults younger than you, and not even ones you can excuse away with the fact they are at university so there still kids really. I have two 25 year old people working in my office (who nominally I'm in charge of, though they have other ideas), they've been to uni, and whilst I think of them as kids, they're proper genuine adults and they are clearly younger than me! Up until the mid to late twenties this has never happened before; people younger than me have always been children.

Additionally you spend the first twenty years of your life believing your body will never age, the most traumatic thing to drop out of your body are your teeth and your testis (but you get a new set of at least one of these). Now hair's starting to fall out, except for my nose which is now sprouting hair so fast a team of landscape gardeners needs to be called in. Seriously if don't do at least a weekly root around the nasal area with a shaver I start to look like that attachment you put on the vacuum cleaner when you want to do the skirting boards. I'm also coming to the inescapable conclusion that my face is slowly starting to slide down my head, there seems to be a build-up of excess skin around the chin area, at this rate by the time I'm fifty my face will look much like my scrotum. Though in fairness I'm less likely to get arrested for waving it around in a school playground.

And then there's my health and physical fitness, gone are the days where I can eat what I want, no longer am I able to hide successive days of junk food binging without worrying. Now a pizza binge manifests itself so that under poor lighting I look like I could be a few months pregnant. And as for exercise, it becomes that much harder for that much less reward, gone are the days where a quick 5 mile jog started the day and got me off to a bouncy start. Now running for the Tube makes me more breathless than an asthmatic in the vacuum of space.

There's also the worry about things you can't do any more, as a child getting older meant there were more things you can do drinking, driving, lottery, buying adult magazines without the need for a step ladder. The only things you stopped being able to do was go to the under 8s ballet class, and then that was alright because you got to go the 9-12 year olds ballet class. As you get to the late twenties, you're simply not allowed to do things any more, I'm questioning whether I should go on an 18-30 holiday now before it's too late. Yet the concept of an 18-30 holiday utterly despises me, but what if on the day I turn 31 I suddenly decide that I really want to vomit all over beautiful areas of the Mediterranean, hang my undergarments off a lamppost and go to a foam party and have more inappropriate fun with bubbles than Michael Jackson ever managed?

So you see I admit that 30 is not that old in the grand scheme of things, but it's the end of that crucial age where nature finally reminds you that you are going to be old. As superhuman and as invincible as you may have seemed during childhood, 25-30 is the age at which your body starts to rebel, at which the signs of age start to show you that soon you will look like a Colonel Gadaffi body double with exactly the same employment prospects. You may not be old yet, but you're no longer young and no matter what you thought, your body is deserting you, it won't be long before when you stand up your knees make a sound like an old dial-up modem connecting to the internet. Or put another way the late twenties-early thirties is the age where getting older starts turning s**t, under 25 and there's usually a bonus to getting old, over 30 and you already know your life is s**t so you shouldn't be surprised! There the perfect conclusion to an argument on why turning 30 is the worst age to be, I think it makes sense, but it might not – my brain is old now.

So there you go, the official point at which my mental breakdown at turning 30 starts is here. Don't worry there's a few more blogging opportunities between now and the big day for me to cry. And when I say big day, it will actually consist of me crying into a large tub of Ben & Jerry's with a candle in, because I've dropped the spoon on the floor and my stiff old back won't let me bend down and pick it up.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on March 15, 2012, 01:33:02 pm
How depressing :endit:

I think I still have some youth left in me, I managed to get IDed twice at the same wetherspoons the other day. One time I was buying food so was legally allowed to have an alcoholic drink at the same time even if I were, somehow, only 17 years old (Thank you Inbetweeners!) so it was especially galling, but at least I've still got it :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 15, 2012, 01:53:19 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on March 15, 2012, 01:33:02 pm
How depressing :endit:

I do try!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 16, 2012, 02:16:44 pm
I still get ID'd every now and again, usually in supermarkets by 50 year old women wearing the latest ID scheme badge

" unless you look older than Ghandi, we will ID you "

that sort of thing, and where as it would have been amusing in my early 20's, in my late 30's its just plain annoying as i dont carry my passport around with me and I dont drive..... :bash;m:

But seriously I agree about turning 30, it is crazy, you realise you are no longer immortal.
On the other hadn as soon as you are 30, it's great, you now have total free license to be a grumpy old man, its ace  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Jal on March 16, 2012, 03:31:16 pm
Great blog post!

I feel your pain to some degree.

5-7 years ago, my pristine liver and uncluttered mind allowed to to drink 8-9 pints on a Friday evening, then be up to play Rugby/Cricket early Saturday.

Now, I merely have to look at a pint of Shandy, the headaches start, my lungs feel like I'm a smoker and more often than not I know I'll have to spend the next day in the bathroom. I can certainly sympathise....

As an aside, I got ID'd recently by someone who was clearly born post 1990. It was galling.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 16, 2012, 05:01:12 pm
I take issue with your rant matt.  And my issue is this
Quoteand have more inappropriate fun with bubbles than Michael Jackson ever managed?
Surely you mean 'have more inappropriate fun with bubbles than Michael Jackson ever admitted to doing'

Aside from that good rant.

p.s. I'm 32 so you can shut up with all that old rubbish  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 19, 2012, 10:20:57 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on March 16, 2012, 02:16:44 pm
On the other hand as soon as you are 30, it's great, you now have total free license to be a grumpy old man, its ace  :thumbsup:

Excellent I look forward to it (can I become any more grumpy?)

Quote from: Dave on March 16, 2012, 05:01:12 pm
Aside from that good rant.

p.s. I'm 32 so you can shut up with all that old rubbish  :wink;m::

Many thanks, I know, I know, but this all about me!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on March 19, 2012, 11:48:50 pm
Quote from: Jal on March 16, 2012, 03:31:16 pm
As an aside, I got ID'd recently by someone who was clearly born post 1990. It was galling.

Haha, there's a part of me that almost wants to reply with "Can I see YOUR id?" whenever that happens. Still, I'm going to stop complaining simply because I will soon be using the title doctor and every time I pull out ID with that title on it I'm going to be all "Yeah, bitch, that's right".
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 19, 2012, 11:57:04 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on March 19, 2012, 11:48:50 pm
Haha, there's a part of me that almost wants to reply with "Can I see YOUR id?" whenever that happens. Still, I'm going to stop complaining simply because I will soon be using the title doctor and every time I pull out ID with that title on it I'm going to be all "Yeah, bitch, that's right".

Perhaps I'll change my name by Deed Poll to "Master of the Universe" just so that my ID trumps yours!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on March 20, 2012, 09:22:57 am
Quote from: Undead Dan on March 19, 2012, 11:48:50 pm
Haha, there's a part of me that almost wants to reply with "Can I see YOUR id?" whenever that happens. Still, I'm going to stop complaining simply because I will soon be using the title doctor and every time I pull out ID with that title on it I'm going to be all "Yeah, bitch, that's right".

But then people will say 'Ooo, are you a proper doctor?' then you have to get into the long discussion about which type of dr is proper and which isn't, only way to solve it, PhD/MD in medicine!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on March 20, 2012, 07:04:20 pm
My 7 year old niece made me a birthday card this weekend saying "Wow, 27. You're really old. Haha!"

I thought my family were supposed to support me through these traumatic times!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on March 20, 2012, 07:53:55 pm
Pfft... Jack, 27 is still the good times!  At the very least, I'm making it that way when I get there in 6 months, So enjoy the ride!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 20, 2012, 09:53:49 pm
Hush now young people, be happy now whilst you have the chance!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on March 20, 2012, 10:15:55 pm
Its so hard being 22...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on March 20, 2012, 10:17:53 pm
23 is also hard times  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 20, 2012, 10:20:53 pm
 :rant;2:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on March 21, 2012, 01:08:56 am
Funk! You young uns are making me sound like I'm gonna be old at 25 at the end of the month!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on March 21, 2012, 07:20:13 am
I got asked how old I was the other day and I actually forgot! Really is the best way to cope!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on March 21, 2012, 07:46:02 am
Quote from: Annie on March 20, 2012, 10:15:55 pm
Its so hard being 22...

Heh,  I decided at the time 22 was starting to get 'properly' old..... and have grumbled about it for nearly a decade since :p
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on March 21, 2012, 08:37:51 am
Oh to be 22 again! When I could party until the sun came up and then keep going...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 21, 2012, 09:16:35 am
Update 56 – 21st March 2012: The Ladybird Book of Finecast

Given I appear to be seriously losing the "Who is Youngest Competition?" it's time to move on...

This week I'm primarily going to be delving into the world of Citadel Finecast, in a blog entry about as topical as if I started a discussion on repealing the slavery laws. Yes of course Citadel Finecast isn't new anymore but I have yet to be introduced to its delights. Why is this you ask? (Ok so you probably haven't asked this, but it helps the story on if we presume you have, so please indulge me).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2961.jpg)

Well at the time of the launch of Citadel Finecast my two primary concerns painting wise were Beastmen and High Elves, who for some reason coincidentally were also the two least well served armies at the launch (I know even worse than the Bretonnians and Wood Elves!!). High Elves just got Caradryan, and the Beastmen just got Malagor both of which I painted up within the six months prior to launch so wasn't really that excited by the prospect of repainting them. Admittedly there were some Warriors of Chaos characters that did interest me, but with a drawer full of unassembled plastic and metal Warriors characters I passed up the opportunity.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2982.jpg)

Fast forward to now and both armies have had a smattering of new Finecast releases (not many but some), for the Beastmen the Doombull and a new Jabberslythe (don't judge) have both arrived in Finecast. And for the High Elves, Caradryan (who I've also painted) and Tyrion have made it out in resin form. So I finally thought it was time to try out this Finecast malarkey and see what all the fuss is about.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2983.jpg)

You may be wondering how Games Workshop came up with the name Finecast, I know I am, here are my theories. Theory one, during a session of pumping out models in the Games Workshop forges, one worker (will call him Fred), shouts "Oi Tim, how's the last cast come out?", the other worker (who will call Tim, because that is how Fred has introduced him), replies "The Cast? Fine." To which Fred clarifies "so it's a fine cast?" – And that is how the name came about. Alternatively perhaps during a doubles battle at the Warhammer headquarters an argument breaks out over what to do in the magic phase. One player is adamant he will cast Flock of Doom after a lengthy row the other one stropily replies "Fine. Cast. See if I care." What do you reckon? I think they're good theories. Sadly the truth is probably even more boring than my suggestions, which is saying something.

To get me in the mood for Finecasting I decided to go on Google and see what the gaming community have to say on the subject. Perhaps surprisingly gamers seem not to have sat on the fence with this issue, and have actually ranted and raved a lot –shocking I know, usually they are such a quiet group. In fact I suspect I'd have got less vitriolic responses had I started a thread on
Mumsnet entitled "I think paedophilia should be made legal" – for the avoidance of doubt I don't think paedophilia should be made legal, I was just making a joke (you'll be surprised how easy it is for something you say on the internet to be taken out of context! And I don't want to find myself in court. Again.). A common comment has been to rename Citadel Finecast, Citadel Failcast – you see what they've done, they've replaced the word "Fine" with the word "Fail" because they're both four letters and both begin with "F". Hahahahahahaha. How clever are they?! Really that puts the level of my High Elf jokes last month in context doesn't it?! "What's  a High Elf's favourite type of tree?." "A Silver Elm." See by comparison that is now hilarious.

Although I was amused by this find I made during the internet search, when I found Games Workshop Nuneaton's Facebook page. Yes it's got that exciting that I've mentioned Nuneaton –  the most exciting thing I can say about Nuneaton is that I know someone from Nuneaton, and someone else on the forum also knows this same person. A fact that phrased this way makes the whole issue sound about 9,000% more mysterious and intriguing than it actually is (particularly if you met said person). Anyway sorry I got distracted, over on Games Workshop Nuneaton's Facebook page they had a series of Frequently Asked Questions about the new Finecast range – one of which was "Will the Citadel Tools Range (Pin vice, hobby knife, razorsaw, etc) be available in Citadel Finecast?".

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2981.jpg)

Bear in mind it wasn't just one person who asked this retarded question, no enough people asked it so as it became a Frequently Asked Question:

"Will the Citadel Tools Range (Pin vice, hobby knife, razorsaw, etc) be available in Citadel Finecast?"

"Yes, they will. All the Citadel Tools will be made of the brittle, highly malleable resin hybrid of Citadel Finecast. In addition they will only be available in Games Workshop stores made entirely from Finecast staffed by animatronic resin Games Workshop staff."

Although on the plus side animatronic resin staff might be slightly less annoying than some of the current staff. Don't get me wrong most of them are utterly pleasant, and it's nice that they are interested enough to ask about your latest hobby project and seem genuinely pleased when you tell them about it. But some of them, god they don't shut up, they don't seem to realise I don't have an entire day to discuss the latest nuances of my army list with them. I write this line thinking specifically of a member of staff in Games Workshop Brighton I met a few years back, some of you may have also met them, some of you may still be chatting to them at this moment having accidentally begun a conversation with them back in the 1980s that you're unable to leave without beating them over the head with a copy of the Warhammer rulebook until their brain is mushed out all over the floor of the store and they finally shut the **** up. Some of you at this point will have correctly spotted the irony in me moaning about people who spend an awful long time talking about Warhammer, so I'll move on.

So I can only experience Finecast building, by undertaking some Finecast building, who knew. Which means I will need some models. So far this paragraph has proved utterly pointless, sorry about that. What I'm trying to say is that I will be building Tyrion and my Crimson Fists captain I ordered to get myself excited about Warhammer 40,000's 25th anniversary:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2878.jpg)

First step is to get all the pieces out of the box – in fairness this step hasn't changed much from what to do with the old plastic and metal models.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2885.jpg)

At this point I examined the models, even little old me in my "Warhammer is lovely" bubble can't failed to have noticed a few comments on the quality of the casts – the kind of comments that could be made more subtlety if they'd been strapped to a brick and hurled through an orphanage window. So I gave the models a good inspection, to be honest they all look pretty good to me, a few odd air bubbles that might need a fill – though a lot less than an Aero chocolate bar. Seriously, have you seen the imperfections in casting that? Nestlé should be ashamed to put that on the shelves. I did notice as well that the newer Crimson Fists captain, has a lot less bubbles than Tyrion, so fingers crossed the casting process is getting better. On Tyrion I did notice a tiny imperfection on of Malhandir's leg, and on the Dark Elf body's hand – in fairness they're pretty small so I should be able to repair them with a bit of green stuff, or at least attempt to repair them, fail, and then stick a bit of static grass over the hole to hide it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2893.jpg)

Apologies you're not drunk, this photo is hideously out of focus!

It's about this time in my blogs that I refer to a hobby guide from a back issue of the White Dwarf, because as you will have noticed I am completely incapable of doing anything without some guide to help me. Fortunately I found a guide to getting dressed back in White Dwarf 174, so now I'm able to leave the house without the neighbours calling the police. This blog entry is no different so I'm going to use the Assembling Azhag the Slaughterer Guide from White Dwarf 382 (October 2011), which is now exceptionally well-thumbed as it also includes the Dreadfleet painting guide:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2956.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2958.jpg)

First up I removed all the pieces from their sprues using my usual trusty clippers, and then cleaned up using my moulding tool (which I love – don't care what you say I think it's brilliant) – the pieces were easily cleaned without me splicing off my fingers or damaging the model any more.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2888.jpg)

A few pieces were slightly out of shape, now there's no way of explaining this without using the words bent and straight – so no laughing at the back. Tyrion's helm needed straightening, one of Malhandir's legs made her look gammy (Malhandir is Tyrion's horse by the way in case you think I've started talking about a small variety of orange) and needed reshapping and the base pieces on both models needed straightening out so they would be flat and flush with the traditional plastic base.

There's many ways of doing this, Games Workshop recommend a hair dryer, but I don't have a hairdryer – those who have met will know my hair is actually stuck on my head much like a LEGO minifigure. So I decided to use the water technique, note I have simply named it the "water technique" it is not normally called this, nor does it have any connection with water torture – or being forced to watch Olympic Sailing as it's usually named. For this technique, I will head into the kitchen ala Ready Steady Cook style! Oooohhhh I've come over all Antony Warrell-Thompson. Ewww sticky beard! Yes I'm sorry about this joke, particularly as I told you off about the bent/straight thing, but hey it's nearly my birthday let me tell it as a present.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2898.jpg)

You'll be pleased to know that is the closest this blog will come to featuring Antony Warrell-Thompson, primarily because I don't want to lose any cheese from my fridge. At this point I should probably apologies for the state of my kitchen, I blame the flatmate (even though I live, like most things in life, alone):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2900.jpg)

I placed the pieces that were bent into warm water (not too hot to burn you – be safe people) for a few minutes.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2912.jpg)

Once warmed up I removed the models, and then easily bent the pieces into the desired shape, the resin goes all bendy at this point. So for the base piece of Tyrion (the fallen Dark Elf) I bent him up against the plastic base to ensure a flush fit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2909.jpg)

Once I was happy with the new shape of the pieces they were plunged in some very cold water. I used a bag of frozen sweetcorn to help keep the water super cold! This then locks the pieces in the desired shape once they return to normal temperature.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2915.jpg)

Another option you can use is placing the pieces on the radiator (though be sure not to forget about them, resin melted in your radiator is not nice) and then place them in the freezer. Remember don't place models immersed in warm water in the freezer as any drops of water left will freeze and potentially break the resin, which would be sad and make you cry, and that would make me cry too.

With that done I went about filling in all the holes (again no sniggering at the back). I used normal green stuff to fill the largest holes – mainly on Malhandir, initially she had so many holes she looked like a colander! And then liquid green stuff to fill the smaller holes, particularly the little air bubbles which form on the surface of the material. And I also used a bit of green stuff to shamblise a hand together for the Dark Elf body.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2970.jpg)

Then I used the Citadel Emery Boards to a) file down any rough bits of green stuff/small bobbles that are too small for the modelling tool, and to b) file my nails – don't they look lovely:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2972.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2976.jpg)

So with all that done I have my two Finecast models constructed, Tyrion will be in three separate parts, the base, horse and rider. And I'm not quite sure whether to glue the banner onto the Crimson Fist yet or not, answers on a postcard as usual!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2979.jpg)

For those of you interested to Tyrion and Malhandir are balanced in place not glued. Also the base is finished off with slate from the Warhammer Basing Kit and a Lion head piece of statue – I have four spare from my White Lions unit!

I have to say I'm pretty impressed with the Finecast – the detail is impressive, the minor casting issues were easily solved (in fairness I think I have benefitted from an enforced wait of a few months before getting my first Finecast pieces). Ok so it's not perfect, but then plastic, metal and even my good self are flawed to buggery, unless I've been  given rohypnol in which case I am floored to buggery – but that's all a bit grim and we won't go though.

I was tempted to throw Tyrion on the floor, or off my balcony in a true Which Finecast? magazine style to see if it would survive, but to be honest I was too scared. So sorry about that, you'll have to imagine what would have happened!!

With the Beastmen having a new Doombull in Finecast and a lot of Warriors bits and pieces I'm sure this won't be my last Finecast purchase. Particularly as this very month saw the release of the Hellcannon in Finecast – a model I had simply been too scared to assemble in metal!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2984.jpg)

So there we are, soon Tyrion will hopefully be gracing my painted High Elf shelf very soon, and who knows one day I'll get round to painting the Crimsons Fists captain... one day. Maybe. I hope you enjoyed this very topical discussion of the latest modelling advances, next week I'll be looking at the introduction of the plastic slottabase – good for the hobby or not?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on March 21, 2012, 11:41:58 am
Looking good! I wouldn't glue Tyrion into place, I'd make a separate cavalry base to plug him into as well, that way you can use him as a very impressive Prince on a normal sized base as well. But, looking good. Did you also give the fincecast models a scrubbing with a toothbrush or something?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 21, 2012, 11:54:00 am
Nice guide to cooking finecast in an al dente style.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 21, 2012, 12:03:49 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on March 21, 2012, 11:41:58 am
Looking good! I wouldn't glue Tyrion into place, I'd make a separate cavalry base to plug him into as well, that way you can use him as a very impressive Prince on a normal sized base as well.

Nice idea, I may well try that - though sometimes with these things I find the effort of having a partially assembled model that falls apart everytime you try and use him in two ways more effort than just buying two of them!!! Definitely having that feeling towards making my Manticore multi-purpose!

Quote from: Undead Dan on March 21, 2012, 11:41:58 am
But, looking good. Did you also give the fincecast models a scrubbing with a toothbrush or something?

Nope, should I have? Or is this a cooking based joke and I'm being blond?!! I gave them a light dustdown with a brush to remove debris from filing assembley, but not a scrub!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 21, 2012, 01:35:49 pm
They seem to be slowly getting better in quality, the Draigo model I just got for my Grey Knights was awesome in detail (apart from his bendy power sword)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 21, 2012, 01:38:43 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on March 21, 2012, 01:35:49 pm
They seem to be slowly getting better in quality, the Draigo model I just got for my Grey Knights was awesome in detail (apart from his bendy power sword)

Yeah I was really surprised at the difference in quality between Tyrion who was (presumably) cast back in the last few months of 2011 and the Crimson Fists Marine cast early this year. Am slightly trepidacious about going back and getting some of the first Finecasts, like the Dragon Ogre Shaggoth whom I quite fancy adding to my Warriors!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on March 21, 2012, 06:04:53 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on March 21, 2012, 09:16:35 am
Yes it's got that exciting that I've mentioned Nuneaton –  the most exciting thing I can say about Nuneaton is that I know someone from Nuneaton, and someone else on the forum also knows this same person.

Watch as Nuneaton now shoots to the top of the list of favourite UK holiday destinations.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 21, 2012, 06:32:58 pm
Quote from: jackhoneysett on March 21, 2012, 06:04:53 pm
Watch as Nuneaton now shoots to the top of the list of favourite UK holiday destinations.

Apologies to anyone who goes to Nuneaton based on this blog.

P.S. I've noticed Games Workshop have BLATANTLY been copying this blog, today's final entry on "What's New Today" is how to construct the Finecast version of the Hellcannon! (No mention of Antony Warrell Thompson or Nuneaton though!).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 22, 2012, 07:23:53 am
Update 57 – 22nd March 2012: "I'm so full of business, I'm pissing cash up the wall" – and 101 other reasons why I won't be appearing on The Apprentice

Don't worry I won't be revealing who lost or who was fired in this week's episode so even you have a date with iPlayer booked you can read on.

In case you've somehow slipped into a coma, perhaps you watched the Budget, you won't know that yesterday marked the return of The Apprentice. This is the eight outing for this now stalwart of the BBC One schedule. On the face of it this show shouldn't be successful, after all on paper it's an hour of watching a group of business people unsuccessfully selling printed T-shirts whilst being sneered at by the host of Countdown. Yet somehow The Apprentice is so much more than that, not just a reality show, but such a classy reality show that unlike with its ITV rivals you don't feel like you need a wash even if you fully immerse yourself in it. I'm a full Apprentice fan, cancelling all my plans for 13 Wednesdays of the year (admittedly not that hard if like me you have no friends), and watching avidly through not only the main show but its excellent support show – The Apprentice: You're Fired over on BBC Two. If I did this for any other reality show, I'd feel ashamed, I certainly would admit on this blog (even if it is read by approximately no people).

For me The Apprentice doesn't feel like any of the other reality shows, I'm not quite sure why this is. Maybe it's the high production values, maybe it's the fact that there's no telephone voting or begging for calls, perhaps it's the fact that the contestants actually want a career that doesn't make them a "celebrity" or perhaps it's simply the fact that everyone is in a suit. I can't be sure why but either way the format keeps me more glued to the telly than a documentary exposing how writers of excellent internet blogs make the best sexual partners. They do, it's science fact.

Viewers of The Apprentice are much like armchair football fans or passengers on the London Underground, in that they arrogantly seem to think they could do a better job competing/playing/making all Londoners miserable than the people currently doing the job despite their obvious lack of experience, skill and qualifications. I take a different approach to the norm, I know full well that no matter how badly the contestants are performing I'd be doing worse. I'd be awful at The Apprentice, absolutely bloody awful, worse even than Germany is at World Wars. I'd fail at the first step, no not the first task, the first step – the purposeful group walk across The Millennium Bridge. The problem is in my head I'm sure I look like a purposeful power bastard strutting across the Thames, but in reality I look more like I'm power mincing across the bridge desperately trying to find the toilet.

The next step of failure is recording the cringe worthy sound bites, the bits where the candidates say something ridiculously stupid such as "I'm the reflection of perfection" or "I'm a business superstar". In fairness the candidates are probably egged on by a t**t of a television producer – don't you just hate television producers – right k**bs they are. However in my case I'd even fail here,  I'd oscillate between either saying something ridiculously meek like "I'm, alright at business, as long as I don't do anything involving selling" or saying something so ridiculously over the top that even the usually bulls**t-immune other candidates would point and laugh such as "I'm so full of business, I'm pissing cash up the wall". Mind you given what was said this week I'm not far off the mark.

All of this abject failure and we have even got to the instructions for the first task yet, the first time you face Lord Sugar in the boardroom. I don't know about you but if Lord Sugar was my boss, I'd s**t myself so much that the boardroom would soon resemble a particularly grim sceptic tank accident with Nick and Karen clinging onto each other in a desperate bid to stay afloat. A grim image maybe but a true one. I strongly believe that if commanded to by Lord Sugar, Nick Hewer would don a pair of leather gloves and strangle any complete abject failure before tossing their lifeless body out of the nearest window – there wouldn't even be a taxi or anything. And for good reason that image terrifies me. Though in fairness if Lord Sugar did start talking about solving a Where's Wally? puzzle or locating Lord Lucan I am more likely to laugh at his insane madness rather than open up my bowels.

With suitably random task set, the teams have two important pieces of business to deal with, firstly naming the team. This always results in a series of potential answers so pretentiously wanky you'd be forgiven for thinking you'd tuned into a toff's special of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. I on the other hand would play it somewhat more downbeat "Team Disappointment", "Team Utter Disaster" I think would be more realistic choices, at least that way your results in the boardroom can only be an improvement on Lord Sugar's expectations. Or how about "Team Kittens", even the cold heart of Lord Sugar would surely not be able to fire someone from Team Kitten? No?

Second on the to-do list is to select a project manager, a job which often has less willing volunteers than a Jeremy-Kyle-snog-a-thon. As admirably demonstrated by the boys this week if you asked for those willing to project manage to step forward, the entire room would shuffle back faster than a group of parents confronted by Mothercare's new paedophilic range – don't be disgusted, worse ideas have regularly been pitched on The Apprentice. In fairness to these people, they are right to be scared of project managing, in Week 1 it is invariably suicide to project manage – there simply isn't enough time in that first week for anyone else to f**k up enough to out f**k up the simple fact that you project managed the losing team. If it was up to me, I'd vote Karen to be the project manager, how could we possibly lose?

Next it's onto the project, this week saw the teams printing t-shirts, bags and teddy bears to sell. I am going to say something shocking here, unlike the millions of people sitting at home confident they could do better, I can exclusively reveal that I have no idea how to run a printing business – not a clue. By the end of Day 2 I'd most probably still be sitting in the introductory boardroom position, dribbling and burbling loudly whilst internally wishing I'd paid more attention in my reception class on potato printing. Mocking the actual candidates for missing the finer points of cost-benefit analysis, choosing the right location and harassing people in shops sounds funny now, but I would never have got anywhere near those. I'd still be wondering if a print of man entering his earlier thirties hanging himself would be appropriate on a baby's T-shirt. Then there's the selling part of the task, somewhere else where I wouldn't excel. In a sales-based situation I have all the imposing dominance of a piece of belly button fluff, my sales' pitch is something on the lines of "Would you like to buy this? No?! Ok." – meekly whispered with all the authority of a struggling supply teacher who has just been locked in the stationery cupboard by a load of 17 year old bullies. I'm just not pushy enough, I'm exceptionally British, I could make awkward flailing an Olympic event – though I'd never be forceful enough to get to the top of the sport.

After a horrid two days, I'd return into the boardroom to have everything I'd done ripped apart by Lord Sugar – and fail to get any customer service support for my Amstrad computer I owned back in the 1980s when computer games had to be loaded off a tape over a period of approximately fourteen working weeks. Predictably the boardroom discussions on this week's show turned into the shouting version of last year's London Riots, where a selection of gibbering morons shouted at each other so well that they could probably replace the House of Commons and no one would notice. Again I wouldn't contribute well here, I'd be sat in the corner, raising my hand politely waiting for my turn to speak. When confronted by an angry Lord Sugar wondering why I'd lost £600 of money that probably wasn't his on a ridiculous task that would be a far less effective way of raising money than just begging on the street, I wouldn't be able to robustly defend myself. I'd probably just mumble something about wishing I'd applied to be on Pointless instead of The Apprentice.

At this point understandably Lord Sugar would fire me, because let's face it the boardroom chair I'm sitting on has done better in the task than me. Here at least I would have the common decency, unlike all the other applicants, to burst into tears throw a tantrum and slap Karen round the face. None of this "thank you for the opportunity Lord Sugar" c**p from me – the biggest piece of bulls**t anyone on that show says. Though at this point Lord Sugar probably wouldn't order me a taxi, and instead I would have to get the night bus home, and then get stabbed by a drunken man as I pathetically ranted about what a terrible mistake Lord Sugar had made and how one day he would regret it. He won't.

I imagine none of this year's contestants will do as badly as I would, though it would make a difficult interview for Dara O'Briain on The Apprentice: You're Fired as he desperately tried to ask you where you think you went wrong as you bled out of several new orifices happily carved for you by a drunken man on the N67. And on that grim note I'm offer to hand my resignation into Lord Sugar just in case for some reason he does decide to hire me – apparently Nick Hewer is a known stapler thief and I can't bear to work with people like that!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 22, 2012, 04:12:20 pm
This years cast are fantastic, not one of them can be taken seriously, total bunch of nobs..

Will be TV Gold  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on March 22, 2012, 04:22:37 pm
I'm not so sure- some contestants are utterly repellant but you can't help watching them. Most of this crop just annoyed me and made me wonder why I bothered watching it at all.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on March 23, 2012, 08:27:44 am
Ah, The Apprentice.  I'm sure most people have seen this but, if not, it's genius.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ss-59fi4nM

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 23, 2012, 11:06:25 am
I haven't seen that before (serious gaps in my cultural knowledge!). Really funny, though can't help shake the feeling that I'm being mocked as an Apprentice fan!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Jal on March 23, 2012, 03:01:56 pm
The guy that will win is the meathead that explained:

"During the day I'm the cosumate business professional, and at night I'm a professional wrestler, so where the boys are concerned, I'm alwaysthe alpha male".


I'm sorry, your a what at night?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 24, 2012, 07:16:31 am
Quote from: Jal on March 23, 2012, 03:01:56 pm


I'm sorry, your a what at night?

Yep that guy is a classic  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 24, 2012, 03:48:25 pm
Quote from: Jal on March 23, 2012, 03:01:56 pm
I'm sorry, your a what at night?

We all have to moonlight to make ends meet!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 27, 2012, 08:42:27 am
Update 58 – Tuesday 27th March 2012: Bathing with the Masses

The other day I was going to the toilet – apologies for starting a blog with this sentence, but if you had any standards of taste and decency you'd surely by now know that you need to leave them at the door when dealing with this blog. Without wishing to be indelicate, I was having an extended visit to the bathroom, if you know what I mean. This particular visit was happening in a bathroom in a company I happened to be visiting, not one of my regular bathrooms. I promise this is all important information. It was then whilst "at stool", that I glanced to the right, to notice a full length mirror. A full length mirror showing a reflection of myself on the toilet. Why on earth would you put a full length mirror in a toilet? I tried to look away, but like a horrific car crash, I was drawn back. There I was witnessing my body in the least flattering of circumstances, and as I glanced down I saw the hideous rolls of fat bulging over the rim of the toilet bowl.

You're probably feeling somewhat nauseous reading that statement, so imagine how I felt seeing it in person. There at that moment it became clear why I was single, because I had the physique of an old bean bag, recently sat on by Heather from Eastenders (rest in peace). It was time to do something about it, and hence I have made a concerted effort to get back into swimming. Yes that's right exercise, I know I am as surprised as you.

I've previously been a reasonably regularly swimmer, I wouldn't say I was a good swimmer, but then I've never drowned so that must say something. My last regime of water-based exercise ended when I was unfortunate enough to read a set of rules printed on the wall of Brixton Leisure Centre. It was the final rule that got my attention:

"Rule Number 7: If you notice any discharges of bodily fluid into the pool, please inform a member of staff immediately."

Then printed directly underneath it said:

"Enjoy your swim"

Which is now impossible, given what you've just read. And thus I decided swimming wasn't for me.

Anyway to mark my return to the swimming pool, just in time for the London 2012 Olympics – which is entirely coincidental I assure you, I thought I'd give you some of my rules of swimming. These rules, you'll be pleased to know, primarily don't involve bodily fluids. They simply represent a series of what I believe are socially acceptable ways to behave in a swimming pool – though it probably wouldn't do any harm to make them law punishable by death.

Here's the Draconian laws that I will now pass:

•   No affection in the swimming pool. Heavy petting in the deep end, holding hands across lane ropes and god forbid a naughty kiss near the diving board should all be banned. There's just no need for it, save the hideous displays of affection for the escalators on the Underground (though if it could be banned from there too that would be nice).
•   My speed is the correct speed. The lanes in my pool are divided into Fast, Medium, Slow and an unnamed lane which presumably is for those so slow that they'd be considered static. I swim in the medium lane, if you are swimming faster than me go in the fast lane, and if you're swimming slower than me get in the slow lane.
•   Don't pull out in front of me. If I'm coming to the end of pool, and about to turn round, don't suddenly pull out in front of me and force me to stop. You wouldn't do it in a car because we'd up having a multi-car pile-up. And a multi-swimmer pile-up will make the least touchy-feely people feel very awkward.
•   Old men should not wear tight inappropriate swimming trunks. Self-explanatory really.
•   Good looking men should wear tight swimming trunks – I need a cheap thrill in my life, and a reason to do exercise. So do your civic duty and help out.
•   Get your hair wet. Anyone who isn't prepared to get their hair wet should instantly be relegated to the slow lane. Bobbing about with your head above water, in the fast lane is annoying and not fast.
•   No talking at the ends of the pools. It's not a bloody coffee shop, if you're lucky enough to have a friend stop showing off and clogging up the end of the pool so no one can swim.
•   No diving over me. I don't appreciate people diving over me, to get an athletic start in their lane swimming. I remember 999 with Michael Buerk, there's every chance you could land on me and break my back into more pieces than the NHS will soon be in.
•   No backstroke. Backstroke is about as socially friendly, as releasing a combine-harvester into the swimming pool – only more people get injured. Until some special magic goggles that allow you to see where you are going are invented, no backstroke in the pool.
•   Don't have more fun than me. Basically this is what all my rules are saying, and to be honest this one can be applied both in and out the pool. I am a grump, don't have more fun than me, it makes me jealous.

There you go, ten rules that will make my life better in the swimming pool – well they would if I hadn't shamed myself by choking on water the other day and the life guard coming over to check I was alright.

I'll be issuing some rules for other life situations soon, so look out for them.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 27, 2012, 07:01:19 pm
You using Clapham's Pool?..........................Brave man
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 27, 2012, 11:07:53 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on March 27, 2012, 07:01:19 pm
You using Clapham's Pool?..........................Brave man

It's new, no one has pooed in it (yet). And it has an adjustable depth deep end which is amazing - I suspect it is the secret hideout of Thunderbird 1!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 28, 2012, 08:19:38 am
Update 59 – Wednesday 28th March 2012: Sticky Messes

Now you've jumped to conclusions haven't you reading the title, naughty, naughty...

I am of course referring to glue, more specifically Games Workshop's new Citadel Glues – yes I know everyone is talking about the new Citadel Paint Range, but I can't talk about that because it's not out until April 7th (my birthday by the way, cards and presents always welcome) and thusly I haven't tried it! And shockingly I think it would be best to try before judging, I know I'm in a minority but there we go.

The new Citadel Glue range, much like the average Page 3 Sun model comes with two primary characteristics: Thick and Thin.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2986.jpg)

We're already familiar with our old friends Super Glue Thin and Plastic Glue Thick (and their friend PVA Glue who always likes to lurk):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2989.jpg)

We're used to assembling our models with them, finding that none of the pieces we've attempted to join have joined, but we have managed to glue an Ungor's head to our elbow. Standard practice really.

Super Glue Thick, I haven't yet used, according to March's White Dwarf (March 2012), it's useful for gluing large scale Finecast, resin or metal kits. And I haven't got any of those to assemble at present.

However withthe large amount of plastics still left to assemble from my High Elf Mega Army deal I bought before Christmas – because why have 2,000 points of High Elves when you can have 7,000 (yes I have no idea why I'm doing it either)?, it was time to break out the Thick and Thin Plastic Glues.

But what to assemble?! Well I couldn't wait any more, the only missing unit from my High Elf army is those White Lions, so I couldn't let the 20n models worth sit unloved in that box anymore. So it was time to assemble them. I also decided to assemble the extra chariot I got, as a second White Lions Chariot, why? Well because I was in a White Lions mood. And then I looked at the Dragon Sprue – having enjoyed assembling and painting my recent Prince on Dragon the opportunity to assemble a Dragon Mage (the only main character option missing from the army too) seemed too good to miss.

For most of the Chariot and the Dragon I used the normal Plastic Glue, designed apparently for the larger models this seemed like the right choice. And in no time I had my chariot sub-assemblies ready:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2992.jpg)

To tie everything together I decided to use a couple of spare heads from my White Lions sprues for the chariot crew, though this did require me to make necks out of Green Stuff, else they'd end up looking like Sandi Toksvig (according to Vic and Bob!). Basically on the chariot kit the heads have the necks, whereas on the White Lions kit the torso has the neck – hence my neck lass (or even necklace) problem.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3002.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3005.jpg)

The Dragon was relatively quick to assemble, I used the parts from the kit I didn't use on my original Dragon to give as much difference between the two beasts as possible. This resulted in a more spiny dragon which I felt reflected the nature of the Fiery Dragon Mage's mounts. As before the rider, back rest, wings and reins were left as separate sub-assemblies:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3011.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3018.jpg)

For the riders I couldn't really decide between the Dragon Mage or the Archmage, both looked pretty cool, and thinking that a third Dragon might be a bit excessive I decided to use the spare parts from my original Dragon kit to build both riders and planned to use some trusty blu-tac to let me swap between the two for various battles.

Like always, I had planned not to just copy the assembly shown on the box, but as always Games Workshop had chosen my favourite bits for the models shown, so I ended up with these two chaps (look familiar):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3025.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3029.jpg)

I did intend to use a different head for the Dragon Mage:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3043.jpg)

But given that the Dragon Mage's staff is lowered, I felt that with a relatively flat head shown above the rider lacked sufficient height to sit amongst the tall spines of the Dragon. So off that came, and on went the standard one from the box lid!

The White Lions, are one of the three most recent(ish) releases for the High Elves, and having very much enjoying building the Dragon Princes and the Phoenix Guard I was eager to get going with the White Lions. They really didn't disappoint, I think they look amazing.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3051.jpg)

They are a little fiddly to assemble, as is any plastic kit armed with two-handed weapons. As its always tricky and fumbeful (probably not a word, but needed a synonym for fiddly) to try and line up all the arms and the weapon and get them all glued at the same time! Thankfully the Lion-shaped shoulder armour pad covers up a multitude of assembling sins, meaning it doesn't matter too much if the arms don't join perfectly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2700.jpg)

So far these guys have been a bit fragile, both with their Great Weapons, and the fact that their dynamic posing means their almost just attached to their base on tip-toes! The other problem is that one particular axe is particularly thin (not glue thin, just thin, thin) and I ended up having to pin all of the ones I used to keep them together as they snapped in the same place!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2691.jpg)

Fortunately, this is where Plastic Glue Thin came to the rescue to look after repairs and little jobs (though I used Super Glue for the pinning). Once I'd managed to unscrew the bloody thing:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3044.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3047.jpg)

Turns out my Plastic Glue Thin, had a bit of a problem (oh dear) and had managed to stick itself together before I even got it home – fortunately Games Workshop as always had excellent customer service and sorted me out with a new tube! (That's not even a joke, it's a true statement said sincerely!)

The new Plastic Glue is good for those tiny little joins, particularly on infantry models allowing you to get the glue exactly where you intend! Though a little bit on fingers as always, but it wouldn't be the same without that – it would be like Britain's Got Talent without the urge to punch Amanda Holden, just wrong I tell you, just wrong!

So with that done all that was left was some undercoating, I also took last week Finecast assemblies out for a spray!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3049.jpg)

As you may have seen, I got a bit carried away with the White Lions and started painting them already, but we shall talk about that another time!

And that is it, it's also it for a couple of weeks! Sorry guys, I won't be updating officially the longest blog on the OG Forum (we overtook Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves the other week!) for a little while. Because I'm on a work trip to Los Angeles, yep I realise that even saying that makes me sound like an utter w**ker! But if it makes you feel better I'll be turning 30 pretty much as soon as I get back, see karma giveth and then taketh! Don't worry I won't be going on about the LA thing too much – did I mention I'm flying business class. No? Oh I'm flying business class!

Have a great couple of weeks and yummy Easter, and I'll be back blogging very soon!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on March 28, 2012, 09:51:44 am
so not only a wan**r but an old one too!  Cool stuff and enjoy your trip.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on March 28, 2012, 03:37:43 pm
I see from your tweets today that you got turned away from the business class lounge though.... :cry:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 29, 2012, 08:51:29 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on March 28, 2012, 03:37:43 pm
I see from your tweets today that you got turned away from the business class lounge though.... :cry:

I soon explained who I was! Lunchtime here in LA!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on March 29, 2012, 11:32:01 pm
Say hi to the bunnies for me ;-)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on April 26, 2012, 09:18:17 am
Update 60 – Thursday 26th April 2012: I'm Back!

Yes like an undercooked Gregg's sausage roll I've returned, and in a slightly poorer condition than you last saw me. That's right I am now the wrong side of 30, I'd like to take this opportunity to say thanks for all the birthday wishes, I say I'd like to say thanks... but sadly not many birthday wishes came my way. ;) Fortunately I'm not a bitter person... ok I am a bitter person, but I've not got the physical strength to carry out any form of physical retribution so you're alright.

In the last month since I last paid a proper visit to the international blog-o-sphering uber sensation that is Procrastination by Numbers (you can see I haven't lost the ability to bulls**t), there's been a few exciting releases from those naughty little plastic crack merchants (and I mean that nicely) that call themselves Games Workshop.

Of course probably the biggest noteworthy event was the release of enough new shades of Citadel Paint to accurately paint a 256 million colour computer display without the need to mix any paints.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3113.jpg)

Not that I am unhappy, the new paint range looks great. Though that combined with my 30th birthday I am now going to feel incredibly old as I struggle to refer to the new paint names. I shall be clumsy wielding around Goblin Green and Tentacle Pink in the same way that my dad manages to say Post Office Tower when referring to the BT Tower. Still at least I won't have to work out how to say or spell Astronomaciashaiashianshian Grey any more – maybe someone one day will reveal how I say that word!

Excited as I am by the paint range, I'm not prepared to throw this little lot of Citadel pots in the bin just yet:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3349.jpg)

...or change the colour scheme of my current army. But don't worry we'll get to those new paints in the next week of two. I know you can barely contain yourselves you excitable little fools.

There's also the brand new Empire army book and releases to talk about.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3351.jpg)

Thanks to Games Workshop for releasing these on my birthday to mark the celebration, much appreciated that you recognised the importance of the day! Because for the first army book in god knows when there hasn't been a limited edition release of Battle Magic cards I haven't had to run down to Games Workshop like an excitable 15 year old racing to get the last bottle of spot cream.

However I've had a look online and am definitely impressed with what I've seen. Having played the amazing Heroes of Might & Magic series of computer games:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3353.jpg)

I've got used to a "human/Empire" army that's a bit more mixed with fantasy than the 7th edition Empire was. Heroes of Might & Magic routinely mixes in Griffons and Angels to the soldiers of the realm, so Empire always a felt a bit too "normal" (obviously ignoring the Steam Tanks, wizards and odd Griffon mount). But now the Empire has that hint of fantasy that for me it has always missed, with the amazing new Demigryphs Knights the super-size Griffons (some with extra head – don't be rude), and the selection of new "non-fantasy" heroes etc. that keep the Empire fully routed in its human routes. For me however the stand-out kit, that one that really is tempting me to paint up an Empire army (noooooooooooo don't do it), is the Celestial Hurricanium:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3352.jpg)

I like the Luminark of Hysh, but the Celestial Huricanium really appeals to me. I'll be honest it's the unashamed physicist in me that's always been a fan of the planets and stars, that's so pleased to see a giant planetarium that can be wheeled onto the battlefield. It's probably s**t on the tabletop, but when's that stopped me liking a model? Perhaps who knows, even if I don't paint an Empire army I'll do a one off Celestial Hurricanium. Hmmm.

Anyway in a bid to distract myself from rushing to Ol with a bunch of cash in exchange for a Celestial Hurricanium, I'll talk about what I have been painting whilst I've been gone.

Up first I did a bit of green stuff to finally finish off The Bloody Reaver, where the parts didn't quite join See Update 54 – unfortunately my attempts to take a photo of this failed. So you will have to believe me!!

Then I painted up some other bits that you saw me construct back in Updates 56 & 59. Here's guides to where I've got to with one of my final High Elf units the White Lions of Chrace:

Stage 1 - White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2924.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2925.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2932.jpg)

Flesh (Lion & Elf): Dwarf Flesh
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Lion Fur: Dheneb Stone
Lion Skin (Tail): Dheneb Stone
Shoes & Leather: Scorched Brown
Base: Khemri Brown
Wood: Khemri Brown
Yellow Armour Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Feathers/Ribbons: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue


Stage 2 - White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2940.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2943.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2948.jpg)

Flesh (Lion & Elf): Layer Elf Flesh
White Cloth: Layer 2:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Lion Fur: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Lion Skin (Tail): Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Shoes & Leather: Wash Badab Black
Base: *NONE*
Wood: Layer watered down Graveyard Earth
Yellow Armour Trim: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Feathers/Ribbons: Layer Ice Blue


Stage 3 - White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3125.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3131.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3120.jpg)

Flesh (Lion & Elf): Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Lion Fur: Wash watered down Graveyard Earth, then wash watered down 1:1 Graveyward Earth/Scorched Brown
Lion Skin (Tail): Layer Desert Yellow
Shoes & Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Base: *NONE*
Wood: Layer watered down Bleached Bone
Yellow Armour Trim: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Feathers/Ribbons: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White


My first finecast model Tyrion got this treatment:

Stage 1 – Tyrion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3354.jpg)

High/Dark Elf Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
High Elf Silver Metal: Chainmail
Dark Elf Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
High Elf Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Elf Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Cloth: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Dark Elf Leather: Chaos Black
High Elf Leather: Scorched Brown
Malhandir Flesh: Fortress Grey
Malhandir Nose: Dwarf Flesh
Malhandir Hair: Codex Grey
Malhandir Hoofs: Chaos Black
Tyrion Hair: Dheneb Stone
Dark Elf Hair: Chaos Black
Black Cloth: Chaos Black
Purple Cloth: Liche Purple
Rocks: Charadon Granite
Lion Statue: Calthan Brown
Base: Khemri Brown


Stage 2 – Tyrion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3355.jpg)

High/Dark Elf Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
High Elf Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Dark Elf Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
High Elf Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Dark Elf Gold Metal: Cover Burnished Gold
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Yellow Cloth: 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer (1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Dark Elf Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
High Elf Leather: Wash Badab Black
Malhandir Flesh: Layer (1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White)/Fortress Grey, then layer 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White
Malhandir Nose: Layer join 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Fortress Grey. Layer rest Elf Flesh
Malhandir Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey, then Drybrush Fortress Grey
Malhandir Hoofs: Highlight Codex Grey
Tyrion Hair: Wash Badab Black
Dark Elf Hair: Drybrush Codex Grey
Black Cloth: Layer 1:1 Chaos Black/Codex Grey, then layer Codex Grey
Purple Cloth: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Warlock Purple then layer Warlock Purple
Rocks: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Lion Statue: Wash Badab Black
Base: NO CHANGE


Stage 3 – Tyrion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3356.jpg)

High/Dark Elf Flesh: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh
High Elf Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Dark Elf Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Boltgun Metal/Chainmail
High Elf Gold Metal: Wash Gyrphonne Sepia
Dark Elf Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White)/Skull White, then later watered down Skull White
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then later Sunburst Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Dark Elf Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
High Elf Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Malhandir Flesh: Layer watered down Skull White
Malhandir Nose: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh
Malhandir Hair: Drybrush Skull White
Malhandir Hoofs: Highlight Fortress Grey
Tyrion Hair: Highlight Bleached Bone
Dark Elf Hair: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Black Cloth: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Purple Cloth: Wash Leviathan Purple
Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Lion Statue: Overbrush Khemri Brown
Base: NO CHANGE


And the Dragon Mage and Archmage from my Dragon kit (apologies for the poor photos!):

Stage 1 – Dragon Mage/Archmage

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3357.jpg)

Skin: Dwarf Flesh
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Cloth: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Archmage Hair: Dheneb Stone
Dragon Mage Hair: Vomit Brown
Book Cover: Scab Red
Book Pages/Scroll: Dheneb Stone


Stage 2 – Dragon Mage/Archmage

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3358.jpg)

Skin: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
White Cloth: Layer 1:1(1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White)
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Badab Black
Archmage Hair: Wash Badab Black
Dragon Mage Hair: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Book Cover: Layer Red Gore
Book Pages/Scroll: Layer 1:1 Dheneb Stone/Bleached Bone


Stage 3 – Dragon Mage/Archmage

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3359.jpg)

Skin: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White)/Skull White, then later watered down Skull White
Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Cloth: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gyrphonne Sepia
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Archmage Hair: Highlight Bleached Bone
Dragon Mage Hair: Highlight Vomit Brown
Book Cover: Highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Red Gore
Book Pages/Scroll: Layer Bleached Bone


The astute amongst you will have noticed that I haven't show you the final Stage 4 for any of those models. Well that is because I am a teasing b**ch! And because next week I'm going to talk about finish details for your models, so hopefully then you'll see finished Tyrion and co. That is of course unless I get distracted by a Celestial Hurricanium in the meantime.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on April 30, 2012, 03:52:48 pm
Update 61 – Monday 30th April 2012: The Fourth Decade

So last week's update all about paints and Empire may not have answered the question of what I was doing whilst you've been sitting at your computer crying waiting for this blog to update. Well friends I have turned the ripe old age of thirty. Yes who'd have thought? Certainly not my mirror. Which currently is estimating my age, to be the average age of items shown on the Antiques Roadshow. Regular readers of blog, familiar with my tone being much like that of Victor Meldrew crossed with an angry goose, will expect me to have had a miserable 30th birthday. Well in fact I had a good birthday, so there! You didn't expect that did you?

The actual day was Easter Saturday, which was a little inconvenient as everyone tends to be busy across the Easter weekend. But it did give me the opportunity to spend the day itself with my family. Who organised this lovely birthday cake for me:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3360.jpg)

I was also lucky enough to receive a shout-out on Graham Norton's radio show, organised by my flatmate. Despite actually working in the media industry I still found this deeply exciting, as if all the other listeners were wishing me a happy birthday, instead of ignoring it and sipping coffee like I do when I'm listening and hear other birthday messages. Anyway I played the whole thing very cool, and absolutely didn't record the shout-out on my computer so I can play it back again and again. No I definitely did not do that.

The rest of the day was spent with my Dad constantly reminding me I was now thirty. I couldn't work out if this was his way of getting his own back for all the times I called him "old" as a child, or just the worry dawning on him that he was now old enough to have a fathered a thirty year-old child. In hindsight the crying should have given away it was the latter option.

The next Saturday saw me have a birthday party. I should of course say thanks to my friends who made me wear this "30" balloon around my arm for the whole evening, like a modern day slave labourer's ball-and-chain.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3363.jpg)

Effectively it's like having a giant advertising hoarding strapped to you saying "Too old to date", which you then have to take around on the Underground. This resulted in one memorable exchange on the way home with two rather drunken women, who first of all asked "Whose birthday is it?". I resisted the urge to reply "Me, you daft cows. That's why I'm holding the balloon.". After explaining it was my birthday one of the women then went onto then say "Oh I just turned 30 myself, it's really awful isn't it?! Are you having a good night?". To which I replied "I was...".

I was then asked "Are you the oldest person in your group?". "Do I look the oldest?", I said. "Yes" came the reply. It was at that point when I pushed them under the train, so sincere apologies if your Northern line service was held up on Saturday 14th of April. It was necessary.

I was lucky enough to receive quite a few birthday cards:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3361.jpg)

Thanks so much everyone who sent me one, sadly if I added up all the 30's listed on the cards, I'd have an age of about 1,200. Fortunately no one was stupid enough to send me a "With Deepest Sympathy" card, probably realising that had they done so their nearest and dearest would be receiving similar cards very soon. I should at this point show you a card made by graphic designer friend, which is amazing:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3362.jpg)

So there you go, shocking as it seems I've actually written a happy blog – broadly. Bet you're surprised.

Has anything changed since turning 30? Well not really, my face doesn't seem to need more ironing than it already did, and no vital limbs have fallen off or anything. I have made a few life changes, I've lost three and a half kilograms on a diet and have started driving lessons. Yes clear the streets of Clapham, I am learning to drive – more on that in a few weeks' time (provided no one, especially me, dies in the process).

Is there anything I regret not doing before turning 30? Well veteran readers will remember that back in September (Update 12) I went through a list of 30 things I was "supposed" to have done before turning thirty:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers348.jpg)

And that I had achieved six of these things, I still have achieved six of these things. And do you know what? I don't care. They are all stupid things I don't wish I'd done anyway. Like having a meaningful relationship. Who wants to do that? I guess if I was to list one regret over the last thirty years, then it would probably be not having assassinated Katie Price. I've had two distinct opportunities to do this neither one I have taken up and I feel for the good of humanity I should have.

The first was when I interviewed her at the Brit Awards back when I was making student television. It was just after she launched her bid to represent the United Kingdom in the Eurovision Song Contest, you may remember her being dressed in a very tight pink PVC suit whilst heavily pregnant:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3364.jpg)

Apologies for sharing that photo with you. I asked her to tell me something about her Eurovision entry, which she said she would if I promised to vote for her in the UK selection process. I duly promised her my vote, and she then told me nothing. Well I got the last laugh bitch, because guess what? I didn't vote for you. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

The second time was when I was working at The London Studios, ITV's Southbank Headquarters, in an adjacent studio she was filming some tedious Katie & Peter-esque chat show for that highbrow channel, and home of thought provoking documentary ITV2. Humorously the show was cancelled a few episodes before the end of its run because Katie Price had booked herself a plastic surgery session out of the country and therefore couldn't attend the last few episodes of her own show. I'm not even making it up, that actually happened! My regret is I missed a perfectly good opportunity to run into the studio armed with a flamethrower and melt her breasts into molten plastic. I would like to take this moment to point out to any security services monitoring this blog, that I in no way encourage or endorsee any kind of terrorist activity. Though I suspect any court in the land would let me off, when they heard my motivation.

So there we go, thirty and happy(ish) and bar sharing the earth with Katie Price, I think I am happy with my achievements. I look forward to a stream of comments and replies telling me why I shouldn't be happy!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on April 30, 2012, 05:11:51 pm
Woop woop, another non-decrepid grumpy old 30something joins the ranks.  I just wish you'd been at SCGT so I could have actually met you in person rather than knowing you purely as an internet 'celebrity'.  Or if you were there and I horrendously blanked you and was just incredibly offensive, then oops! sorry!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on April 30, 2012, 09:35:31 pm
Quote from: Dave on April 30, 2012, 05:11:51 pm
I just wish you'd been at SCGT so I could have actually met you in person rather than knowing you purely as an internet 'celebrity'.  Or if you were there and I horrendously blanked you and was just incredibly offensive, then oops! sorry!

Nah I wasn't there, I like my own anonymity - would be awful to be surrounded by hundreds of screaming fans!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on April 30, 2012, 09:51:14 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on April 30, 2012, 09:35:31 pm
... would be awful to be surrounded by hundreds of screaming fans!  :wink;m::

Cheerleaders of Hoeth?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: StubbornMark on April 30, 2012, 11:21:58 pm
it's when you get to ollie and ritchie's ages, thats when you have to start worrying  :wink;m::  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on May 01, 2012, 07:58:58 am
Quote from: StubbornMark on April 30, 2012, 11:21:58 pm
it's when you get to ollie and ritchie's ages, thats when you have to start worrying  :wink;m::  :cool3:
Ol gets a free bus pass next year...right?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 01, 2012, 09:50:00 am
Quote from: TkaiC on April 30, 2012, 09:51:14 pm
Cheerleaders of Hoeth?

Maybe cheerleaders of Shakeaway would be more appropriate!!

Quote from: Crompton on May 01, 2012, 07:58:58 am
Ol gets a free bus pass next year...right?

Ok this can only end in tears (or a fight), can we safely declare me the grumpiest if not oldest member of the forum?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 01, 2012, 01:12:20 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 01, 2012, 09:50:00 am
Ok this can only end in tears (or a fight), can we safely declare me the grumpiest if not oldest member of the forum?!

Thats a deal then, I think sadly that me and Ritchie are the oldest regulars , but oldest of any member must be Khaos Goblin who is at least 10 years older than me  :wink;m::

Oh and happy (belated) Bday buddy  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 01, 2012, 11:25:39 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on May 01, 2012, 01:12:20 pm
Thats a deal then, I think sadly that me and Ritchie are the oldest regulars , but oldest of any member must be Khaos Goblin who is at least 10 years older than me  :wink;m::

Ritchie - regular?! Really!!  :wink;m:: Still good to find out I'm not the oldest!

Quote from: fatolaf on May 01, 2012, 01:12:20 pm
Oh and happy (belated) Bday buddy  :thumbsup:

Many thanks!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 02, 2012, 08:21:08 am
Update 62 – Wednesday 2nd May 2012: The Prophet of Doom

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3367.jpg)

In olden times there were always prophets of doom, people who foretold of the end of mankind, be it for religious or cultural reasons. Perhaps even the coming of war or disease, or maybe they correctly predicted that human civilization would reach its low point in the 21st century with the birth of The Jeremy Kyle Show.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3365.jpg)

Either way in the present day, we rarely see people wandering the streets chanting about the coming of the end of the world, the collapse of civilization or the death of all mankind. The main reason for this, is that their role in society has now been entirely replaced with Sky News. In fairness all twenty-four hour news channels have a fundamental flaw – on the vast majority of days there isn't twenty-four hours of news to fill them with. So they have to be filled with repetition, speculation, deliberation and hypothesis, all the things banned on the Radio 4 show Just a Minute. However Sky News seems to be the worst for using this as an excuse to explore the worst case scenario in all possible situations in a desperate bid to keep panicked individuals watching across the break lest they miss out on a vital piece of information that would keep them alive. I wouldn't be surprised if Eamonn Holmes actively told viewers to stay tuned because after the break they'll be explaining how not watching the commercials can kill you. He probably already has, I've not see Sunrise.

Breaking news is Sky's big thing, their tagline is "First for Breaking News". Obviously it doesn't matter if the news isn't quite right, exaggerated to the point where it is blown out of all proportion, or just plain wrong. The news is first and it broke here. Everything on Sky News is breaking news, in fairness every event is breaking news at some point – Christmas Day after all was breaking news at one point. But I strongly suspect the Three Wise Men and the Shepherds weren't alerted to the birth of Jesus by a giant, colourful strap slapped across the bottom of their vision, followed by a "festive" expert discussing how the birth of the Son of God is likely to cause complete economic collapse and a rise in the value of house prices.

I remember a few weeks after the tragic London bombings, having my attention caught by a Sky News strap titled "Gas Attack" – panicked I looked up to see what terrible event had transpired. It turned out that gas prices had gone up, seemed a rather dramatic, misleading and dare I say it "factually incorrect" headline to me!

Last Friday represented an excellent example of this, when Tottenham Court Road (a road very close to my office) was briefly closed. For those of you unaware of this story, basically a man stormed an office on Tottenham Court Road, claiming to be armed with an explosive, and started throwing office furniture and computers out of the windows. The police, understandably, sent a large response force, closed the road evacuated the area and talked the man down with negotiators. Now without wishing to trivialise what would have understandably been a traumatic experience for those involved, as a news story my two line summary pretty much covered everything that happened. There was no more detail than that.

And that's basically how the channel everyone calls News 24 that isn't called News 24 reported it. The BBC simply mixed it into their rotation of stories, and on the BBC News website for a while it was even entitled "Man throws office furniture out of fifth floor window", until the bomb threat aspect became clear.

Of course this wasn't the case on Sky News where four hours of rolling coverage was leant to dissecting every single unperceivable nuance of this story. Under the title of "Armed Siege in London" we went live to various rooftop camera and helicopter shots of London, all of which showed absolutely nothing happening. It was bit like watching live coverage of the London Marathon the day after it had happened.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3366.jpg)

The only shot of any interest was when we saw a filing cabinet being thrown out of a window, on an extreme wide angle. And then the most gripping point of that shot, the point where the filing cabinet hit the street below, was completely obscured by the "Breaking News" strap. Meanwhile Kay Burley was busy in the studio discussing the impact of the "hostage" on the upcoming Olympics, clearly visibly creaming herself below the desk at the excitement that she would be the reporter on duty when London would be destroyed by a crazed terrorist – at least in Sky's prophet of doom-esque mind anyway.

The climax of the discussion occurred when an "expert" came into the studio, labelled an expert presumably because he had the ability to use Google. He'd discovered a forum, where contributors had claimed that the company whose building had been stormed had been engaged in some disreputable behaviour over the issuing off HGV licences. Kay Burley then instantly announces "Well that explains the actions, it doesn't excuse them, but it at least explains them." Well thanks very much Kay Burley, who has instantly declared herself judge of all things moral. And whilst I'm sure her words were chosen carefully to avoid any form of litigation, she's effectively bad-mouthed the reputation of a company entirely on the basis of something someone else has read on a random internet forum. It may be correct information, it may not, I don't know. I'm pretty sure Kay Burley doesn't either, but at least she was first with the breaking "news". The fact that most of this conjecture didn't turn out to be correct, and the fact that the coverage seemed to do a better job of whipping everyone up into a panic than the actual event did seem to be secondary concerns.

I hope you enjoyed this blog, if you did why not tell Sky News, I look forward the entirely plausible strap that reads "Breaking News: Some people like Procrastination by Numbers – Al Qaeda links not ruled out.", appearing on my television screen soon.

Please note any inaccuracies in the information contained in this blog entry are simply a tribute to Sky's own newsgathering output!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 02, 2012, 08:39:13 am
I followed that story through the social media of twitter, it was basically people complaining that they couldn't get out the office for their lunch/afternoon coffee and how rubbish was that.  Somewhat less extremist and shocking than an 'armed siege'.  Pretty sure the definition of siege isn't 1 man throwing stuff out of windows, but to be honest I can't be bothered googling it to find out, if only I had my own pet 'expert'.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 02, 2012, 03:26:21 pm
I was one of those trapped away from lunch in Sainsbury's! Forced to rough it in Tesco! Ewww
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 03, 2012, 08:25:37 am
Update 63 – Thursday 3rd May 2012: The Devil is in the Detail (as well as Anne Robinson)

Quick stop work for an hour, it's time for another bumper Warhammer related fun pack of painting excitement. Enjoy!

As the American tourist who accidentally paid for London Bridge to shipped out to the Nevada desert instead of Tower Bridge now knows – details are important. In fairness to said American this is an apocryphal story, and he indeed intended to buy London Bridge – another important detail.

Details are important everywhere, such "is this woman your girlfriend?" when deciding if it's ok to sleep with someone at your party. Or "which leg to amputate?" if you're a doctor. Or even "Did I know about the completely illegal activity taking place in my company that I was e-mailed about?" if you are James Murdoch. Details are important in modelling and painting too, as you're no doubt relieved to discover I have now got onto the point of this blog update. Depending on your skills you may paint very few details on your models. Perhaps detailing is only reserved for your characters and large monsters. Or perhaps you're the kind of talented arsehole who lavishes every single Night Goblin spearmen with intricate freehand on his cloak worthy enough to win a Golden Demon award shoved up your arse. Which given your entirely an arsehole, may be tricky for the judge to work out exactly where to put the previously mentioned trophy.

I fall somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, generally speaking my rank and file models aren't lavished with any freehand detailing, whereas it's nice to add a little bit of detail to a special character model or the like. Well that would be the case were it not for the famous saying originating in ancient China, that all High Elf painters have uttered at least once; "Who the hell modelling all this f***ing gems on my Spearmen that I now feel obliged to paint?"

In case you haven't guessed this blog is about adding those finishing touches to your models, those little details from eyeballs, to gems, all the way to banners and freehand artwork. Whilst all armies could benefit from a bit of freehand work now again, for me High Elves are one of the most worthy recipients. There refined nature meaning they are unlikely to have a plain cloak, or an undecorated shield. Let's face it if you went round to Prince Tyrion's house you wouldn't be expecting to see a budget pine DVD rack straight from the Argos Catalogue. With a whole host of High Elf goodies all on the cusp of being finished last week, let's get on with the detailing.

White Lions: Eyes, Gems and simple detailing.

While I don't want to spend too much time detailing the rank and file models that make up the bulk of my army. There are a few details I think it's worth looking at. In all cases, all the details are applied at the end of the final stage. During the earlier stages I don't worry about trying to keep the eyes or gems black, as attempting to be so painstakingly neat will drive you mad! Instead let the gems get painted gold, and the eye socket flesh colour, and fix it at the end.

Eyes

The detail that I do with every model is painting in the eyes, some people don't think eyes are worth doing, but for me they really bring the models to life. Not really of course, otherwise my bedroom would be full of High Elves marching across the bedside cabinet, and I'd have painted eyes on my live-size inflatable sex doll by now.

Moving on from that disturbing thought, and onto eyes. For creatures with "normal" type eyes, i.e. Humans, Dwarfs and Elves, it can be very tempting to adopt a cartoony approach and paint a white eye with a small black dot in the centre. However in normal circumstances your eyes don't actually look like this. If you look in the mirror, a situation that often makes me throw up. Look past your bloodshot eyes you should see that normally the darker part of the eye (that is the pupil – the black dot, and the coloured part – the iris), fills the whole of the centre of your eye. That is you cannot see the white part of the eye (the sclera) above and below the darker part of the eye. In case you cannot bare to look in a mirror like me or you're a Vampire, here's what I mean:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3368.jpg)

You only tend to see the white around the tops and bottoms of the eyeball if you are in particularly bright sunshine or you're particularly startled, such as if you've just seen this picture of Edwina Currie's bottom from Strictly Come Dancing without me giving you proper warning:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3369.jpg)

Apologies for that. Anyway my point is that you should avoid black dots in white eyeballs otherwise your models might look startled. At the scale of regular infantry I find it too small to worry about the iris, so the eye just consists of black and white parts.

The first step is to paint the whole eye black, this requires a lot of patience, a steady hand and a fine detail brush. Also keep your flesh colours close to hand as there's every chance you'll need to do some tidying up at some point. With that done your model might look something like this (apologies for the quality of this photo, but hopefully you get the idea – ignore the stray blue flecks from excessive drybrushing!!):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3178.jpg)

With that done, you could stop there, but I like to add in the white of the eyes too. Here just add a little white fleck into the very corner of each eye – and hopefully your eyes should look something like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3298.jpg)

Fingers crossed you can see these are really worth the effort and do bring the model to life. Faces generally are really important as your brain naturally focuses on faces wherever it sees them (part of your subconscious facial recognition!) so even if you don't realise it your eyes will be drawn to the model's eyes – like the beginning of a rom-com(though hopefully you won't end up having a marriage with your White Lions – even they are already dressed in an appropriate wedding colour).

Incidentally you can use the small black pupil on a white eyeball in specific cases to good effect. Here I've used it on the Stone Troll head on this Dwarf Troll Slayer's banner to show its startled, combined with stupid, reaction at the moment it was killed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3383.jpg)

With horses, you very rarely see the white of the eye (unless they are startled – perhaps they've been watching Strictly too):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3370.jpg)

Incidentally this is a picture of a horse, in case you thought that was an extreme close up of Camilla Parker-Bowles. Sorry your majesty (guess that's my knighthood gone).

So with horses, you can simply paint the eye black, which is a lot simpler! Such as I've done here with the Ellyrian Reavers:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3385.jpg)

Big cats are the same too in the case of White Lions. Always worth Google image searching for real life reference if you are painting a monster based on nature.

With the more evil races you may not necessarily want to paint them with human eyes, for my Beastmen army I simply dotted their eyes with a spot of Blood Red which gives them a very evil look:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3392.jpg)

I didn't even paint the eye socket black, as I found the washing of the skin had got it sufficiently dark already. This technique works well on Skaven and Daemons too.

For larger monsters, with bigger eyes it can be worth investing a bit more time and effort:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3395.jpg)

This Chaos Spawn's eyes were painted over a Chaos Black basecoat, starting with Scab Red they were layered through the range of reds and oranges until there was a final sliver of Golden Yellow in the centre of the eye. A Chaos Black slit was then painted vertically down the eyeball – the slit nature giving the creature an even more crazed look.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3401.jpg)

For this Razagor I wanted a more crazed look, so the eyeball was painted Skull White, with a Blood Red centre spot and a further smaller spot of Chaos Black in the centre. Then red lines were painted on the edges of the eyeball, before washing the recess with Baal Red to complete the bloodshot eyeball.

Incidentally if the thought of painting eyes terrifies you, but you don't want people to notice this, can I recommend a Warriors of Chaos army – no one need ever know you can't paint eyes:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3405.jpg)

Gems

Any High Elf painter will know their models are bristling with gems (some of the other races also bare precious stones on their character models). Whilst it's perfectly acceptable to just paint these gold, it's actually relatively straight forward to make these look good rather quickly. Firstly paint the gem a base colour of Chaos Black:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3189.jpg)

For my rank and file High Elves I paint their gems either blue or yellow to compliment the fabric colours I've used. For blue gems, start by painting the bottom third or so with Necron Abyss:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3371.jpg)

Then apply a layer of Regal Blue over the lower portion of the Necron Abyss, leaving a strip of Necron Abyss showing where the coloured part meets the black (I've done my best with the snaps here, but the initial layers are such a dark blue that the camera has trouble picking them out against the black):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3372.jpg)

Repeat this process with Ultramarine Blue, leaving a strip of each colour now showing:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3262.jpg)

Don't worry about spills, like here, they can easily be tidied up with a reapply of gold.

And finally add a last strip, right at the very bottom of the gem add a strip of Enchanted Blue:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3269.jpg)

Lastly add a strip of Skull White in the corner opposite the coloured portion; this represents the reflection of any ambient light:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3441.jpg)

Yellow gems can be a bit more tricky, the key point whatever colour you use is to ensure that the first colour up from Chaos Black is sufficiently dark to make the transition smooth. This is particularly tricky with yellow, so here I have used 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Chaos Black for the first layer:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3196.jpg)

If you are having trouble seeing it against the black background then that's good, you want the colour change to seem gradual.

Next apply pure Iyanden Dark Sun, as before let the base yellow show through nearest the black:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3211.jpg)

Then repeat with Golden Yellow:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3222.jpg)

Then add a final strip of Sunburst Yellow in the bottom most corner:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3238.jpg)

And as before add the Skull White strip:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3435.jpg)

For added effect, once you've matt varnished your models you can apply a coat of gloss varnish over the gem to make them extra shiny. I haven't got round to that yet – sorry!

Other Details

The main other detail to consider on the White Lions, was their banner. Fortunately this banner picture is sculpted on which makes the whole thing a lot easier.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3315.jpg)

Although I am just painting the banner with similar colours and stages as other parts of the model, it's sometimes helpful to save this until the very end and focus on it in one long swoop.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3449.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3454.jpg)

Always remember when highlighting and shading elements on the banner to pay appropriate attention to the folds in the banner which add raised areas where you might not normally be expecting them!

With all those details done the White Lions are finally finished:

Stage 4 - White Lions

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3445.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3429.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3425.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3409.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3413.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3416.jpg)

Flesh (Lion & Elf): Highlight Bleached Bone
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Layer 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Lion Fur: Highlight Kommando Khaki
Lion Skin (Tail): Layer Kommando Khaki, then layer 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Skull White
Shoes & Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, the flock with static grass
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Yellow Armour Trim: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Feathers/Ribbons: *NO CHANGE*


Korhil even looks happy now he has a unit of White Lions to hang about in, well sort of:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3422.jpg)

Tyrion: Red Gems and freehand designs.

Red Gems

Whilst I stick to blue and yellow gems for my rank and file troops, I like to use red gems on my characters to make them stand out. Red gems can look the most impressive of all colours in my opinion. As before start with a basecoat of Chaos Black, then use Scab Red as your starting colour:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3322.jpg)

Then layer a strip of Red Gore over the top:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3336.jpg)

Then add a strip of Blood Red:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3346.jpg)

Finally add a final layer of Blazing Orange in the bottom most corner and a Skull White highlight as before:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3461.jpg)

For particularly large and prominent gems, such as the one on this Dragon's head, you may want to introduce more layers by mixing each colour to give a layer in between. i.e. between the Scab Red layer and the Red Gore layer add a 1:1 Scab Red/Red Gore layer.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3492.jpg)

Painting gems may seem like a complicated process, but with all your colours laid out you can get a relatively quick production line going over a unit of reasonable size:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3337.jpg)

With sufficient models in each batch the previous gem colour will have dried by the time you get back to that model again.

Freehand Details
Malhandir's barding at this stage was looking like a large expanse of white (which on a white horse isn't necessarily good), this seemed like the perfect opportunity for some freehand work.
Taking a cue from the artwork on 'Eavy Metal's version of Tyrion:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3501.jpg)

I added a yellow strip to the base of the barding:
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3058.jpg)

With freehand on cloth, remember to make sure you follow the folds in the fabric – particularly with straight lines! Any mess can easily be tidied up by reapplying Skull White over the boundary.
The yellow basecoat was then painted up in the same way as the rest of the model:
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3059.jpg)

I then wanted to add some High Elf runes to this panel, to make it look even more detailed. This is Tyrion after all, he's Anearion reborn!!
It's always good idea to find some reference for whatever design you want to practice, most of the Warhammer Armies books (particularly the older editions) feature a page showing the runes and lettering of each race:
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3064.jpg)

The key with all free hand is to practice on paper before committing to the model, else you're more sure of making a cock-up than if you accidentally tune into Babestation Car Washing Night – I have no idea if such a programme actually exists! Easiest place to practice is on the edge of your newspaper you have laid down, but make sure you have the model close by for reference so you can make sure you are practicing to the appropriate scale! Sounds stupid but, much like a target on BBC Three's True Hustle it's easily done.

I decided I wanted to include a variety of runes on the trim (avoiding any that looked really complicated to paint), so selected some whose meaning felt appropriate for Tyrion from the above guide – so I used the runes for things like strength, eternity, line of the kings etc., and not runes for "I'm a fan of Made in Chelsea".

These were then practiced on a Post-It note until I was happy with them, don't feel shy to practice a number of times. At this point I am reminded to say that for all detailing you really need a well looked after fine detail brush. If your fine detail brush currently resembles a teenager's first pubic hair, it's time to break out a new brush. No need to throw the old one away, it could still be useful if you want to draw Xtra Factor presenter Caroline Flack into an elaborate trap, for example.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3067.jpg)

Once I was happy the runes were then as faithfully as possible copied onto the barding trim. Deliberately choosing the simplest of designs to sit on the folds in the cloth – there's no point in making it too hard! I painted on the runes in Ice Blue. I did find that some of the strokes that were making the runes up were coming out a bit thick, so I reapplied the original yellow basecoat, where I had a bit more room to manoeuvre to neaten them up and thin out the strokes. I then went round with a 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White mix in the centre of each rune to give them a bit more definition. Here's the final results:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3072.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3087.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3095.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3100.jpg)

With those details done, Tyrion was now finished!

Stage 4 – Tyrion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3465.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3483.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3469.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3471.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3473.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3477.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3485.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3487.jpg)

High/Dark Elf Flesh - Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Elf Flesh
High Elf Silver Metal - Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Elf Silver Metal - Highlight Chainmail
High Elf Gold Metal - Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Elf Gold Metal - Highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
White Cloth - Highlight Skull White
Yellow Cloth - Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Cloth - Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Dark Elf Leather - Wash Badab Black
High Elf Leather - Highlight Beastial Brown
Malhandir Flesh - Wash watered down Badab Black, then highlight Skull White
Malhandir Nose - Highlight Bleached Bone
Malhandir Hair - Wash watered down Badab Black then lightly Drybrush Skull White
Malhandir Hoofs - *NO CHANGE*
Tyrion Hair - Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White, then highlight Skull White
Dark Elf Hair - Wash Badab Black
Black Cloth - Wash Badab Black
Purple Cloth - Highlight Liche Purple
Rocks - Drybrush Fortress Grey, then wash Badab Black
Lion Statue - Overbrush Dheneb Stone, then Overbrush Bleached Bone
Base - Drybrush Bleached Bone then flocked with static grass


I have to say I really enjoyed painting the Dark Elf, I've always thought it would be fun to paint the antithesis of my noble High Elves and I wasn't wrong. Maybe I will be becoming a dirty Dark Elf player soon!!

White Lion Chariot: Freehand Banners

Freehand Banners

My massive mega High Elf army box set included another chariot so it seemed remiss of me not to paint it up. As I've been in a White Lions mood I went for a White Lion Chariot. The Chariot kit comes with a large banner without any moulded detail, which gives perfect opportunity for some freehand banner work. I've spoken at length before about painting "freehand" banners, using a grid technique – whereby you draw a grid on a similar size banner you like and then by painting a grid on your banner replicate the picture across.

For those of you who want more on this technique, check out this classic update from Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.420 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.420)

Scroll down a few post to "Week 13", where you can see High Elf, Beastmen and Shakeaway banners made using this technique.

My previous White Lion Chariot already had the banner suggested by the 'Eavy Metal team, so I put my own one together using elements from other High Elf banners. Here's the banner I ended up with the gridlines on:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3373.jpg)

The banner, shown centre of the below photo, contains the large lion's head traced from the banner at approximately eleven o'clock on the page. The mountains were loosely copied freehand from the banner shown at approximately five o'clock on the page. And the elven rune came from the banner shown at approximately six o'clock on the page.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3374.jpg)

At this point it's worth remembering that while most banners only need a design on one side, banners carried on chariots or cavalry may need the same image on the reverse. For this I took a photo of the banner with grid (two photos up) and then bought it into my computer. In most graphics packages, even trusty Microsoft Paint, you can flip image, so I did this, and then copied the reverse of the image back into another grid I'd drawn on the other side of the banner.

The base colours were then painted on the banner covering the grid lines:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3375.jpg)

Before the banner was highlighted in the usual fashion (as per the colours used elsewhere on the model), to give the finished two sided banner:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3376.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3377.jpg)

The stars were added by painting a dot of Skull White for the centre of each one, then using watered down Skull White carefully painting a cross through them to provide the points.

Mounting that on the chariot gives the following finished chariot:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3504.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3520.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3507.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3510.jpg)

I haven't included a guide for this chariot, as you can see it's quite similar to the original one:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3524.jpg)

The only real difference is I've swapped over the locations of the yellow and blue to distinguish them from each other. Also I worked out why the charioteer with axe has oddly positioned feet, because he's supposed to have one foot placed on the railing!! If you want to see the original guide for painting a White Lion Chariot, check out Updates 19 & 21, which begin here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.135 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2370.135)

Phew that's it! Who'd have thought there'd be so many details, to do with details! Check in next week for the usual non-GW rants plus I'll be taking stock of where we've got to with the High Elves so far ready for the final, final push! There'll be some more Dreadfleet ships and I may even look at the new paint range. All of the above are entirely dependent on my lazy a**e getting into gear!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on May 03, 2012, 12:03:05 pm
Highly detailed coverage there cheers Matt....  I may well be pinching and trying out your gem technique when I eventually get around to finishing the fine detailing on my BloodBowl Highelves  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 03, 2012, 12:40:38 pm
how do you fancy bringing my skaven army to life, only 260 pairs of eyes in need of painting?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 03, 2012, 02:50:33 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on May 03, 2012, 12:03:05 pm
Highly detailed coverage there cheers Matt....  I may well be pinching and trying out your gem technique when I eventually get around to finishing the fine detailing on my BloodBowl Highelves  :thumbsup:

No worries, think I stole the basic idea from Games Workshop in the first place! Show us some pics of them when done, would be good to see.

Quote from: Dave on May 03, 2012, 12:40:38 pm
how do you fancy bringing my skaven army to life, only 260 pairs of eyes in need of painting?

If it's just the Blood Red dot like my Beastmen, then yes I'll do that. If you want black and white eyes, no.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 03, 2012, 02:59:57 pm
Was a good article, but needed more cock jokes for my liking  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 03, 2012, 03:17:54 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on May 03, 2012, 02:59:57 pm
Was a good article, but needed more cock jokes for my liking  :cool3:

I don't mean to boast, but I wouldn't consider my cock to be a detail - you need at least a Tank Brush to get round that beastie!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on May 03, 2012, 03:33:46 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 03, 2012, 02:50:33 pm
No worries, think I stole the basic idea from Games Workshop in the first place! Show us some pics of them when done, would be good to see.

Will do, they're number #2 on my 'to do' list........ although have been at #2 since April 2011 :/
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 04, 2012, 12:11:33 am
Quote from: DarkStalker on May 03, 2012, 03:33:46 pm
Will do, they're number #2 on my 'to do' list........ although have been at #2 since April 2011 :/

Haha don't worry my list goes a lot further down than #2! Anyone seen me paint any Dreadfleet, terrain, Warriors, Beastmen or get round to getting into 40K yet?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 04, 2012, 08:15:55 pm
bah the reason i collect warriors is revealed. Damn you eyes.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 16, 2012, 08:28:16 am
Update 64 – Wednesday 16th May 2012: Is a Fascist Dictatorship really that Bad?

This week's blog is entirely about the thorny subject of voting and democracy, I tried to write this in time for the London mayoral elections a fortnight ago, but failed. Voter apathy there, in action.

Two weeks ago many of you across the country will have been lucky enough to vote in one or more elections to choose councillors for your local area. Those of us in London were lucky enough to have three votes we didn't care about – London Mayor, London Mayoral Assembly Members and our own local councillors. In fact in London there was more box ticking than in a United Colours of Benetton advert, well there would have been if we hadn't been crossing boxes – but the gag about more box crossing than at a Noughts and Crosses convention didn't seem as funny.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3667.jpg)

Fortunately for the BBC, exactly the same three main candidates ran for London Mayor, as in 2008. And the voters were kind enough to generate exactly the same result, so the Beeb were able to just put on a repeat of the election coverage from four years ago. While someone explained to Boris Johnson what "second term" meant, Ken Livingstone vowed never to return to politics (whilst plotting his 2016 election campaign) and Brian Paddick sweetly presumed his electoral demise was down to the unpopularity of Liberal Democrat coalition policies – no Brian, we've haven't forgotten I'm A Celebrity... an appearance that puts you in a category alongside just George Galloway, though at least you weren't meowing in a Lycra cat suit.

One of the big comments on modern elections is the poor voter turnout – according to some statistics I just googled now in a highly checked piece of research voter turnout was 31.8%, meaning just under seven in ten people didn't vote. Commentators say this is a bad thing, but is it?

You see in my opinion, what is held up as the guiding principal of democracy is its biggest weakness – the fact everyone can vote. I'll let that earth-shattering statement sink in as you judge me entirely. I should point out I don't have a problem with allowing everyone to vote in principal, in a perfect world everyone casts a well-thought out vote for the party whose principals they truly believe in. However in the real world you allow people who have no idea what they are voting for a vote and you allow people to vote on spurious reasons. No one has to justify to anyone why they vote, so you can based your opinion on who has the best haircut, who seems like a nice person, or whose face doesn't clash with your curtains.

I consider myself the perfect example, whilst I had a vague idea of the effect my box crossing would have in the London Mayoral vote (based largely on a significant proportion of the main candidates having already had a go), I had no idea what the other two ballot papers do. I couldn't tell you what the position I was electing actually did, I knew nothing about the candidates, other than the party name scrawled next to them. Though as anyone with a passing familiarity with politics will know, a group of people representing one party is less unified mass with one vision, more bickering crowd of infighters who resemble a group of friends trying to decide which take-out menu to order. Despite all of this and my lack of background knowledge, I still diligently filled out each ballot paper, following the dictatorial anti-origami ruling and posting them in the voting box. I didn't really know who or what I was voting for, but I did anyway, I voted on what felt right.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3668.jpg)

And that's the problem with democracy anyone can vote without really thinking about it just based on image. It might sound draconian, but wouldn't it arguably be a lot better to let the 10% of people who can be bothered to engage in politics to vote on our behalf and choose the best outcome. Why let the ignorant masses, who let's be honest don't really understand the minutia of fiscal policy, have an uneducated say? We certainly should react to the claims that the only way to counter poor voter turnout is to force everyone to vote. Forcing those who know nothing to choose a box at random in some kind of political lottery would be awful and inefficient. Surely best to have people pass a small politics quiz before they were allowed to enter the ballot box and have a say in who runs the country – it is after all an important decision.

Politics nowadays has reacted to the fact that most people aren't properly scrutinising their actions, the main parties fighting not to give you any substance or policy but to just leave that instinctive feeling that you should vote for them. So that when average Matt public (i.e. me) heads to the polling station he feels the need to put the cross in the right box because it feels right. Not because he's examined in depth the range of party lines and policies and knows it's the right decision.

Image now for politicians is everything; take the last general election in 2010. Now while I'm not saying you couldn't find potential fault in the previous Labour government's policy, a lot of fault finding was taking place with the image of Gordon Brown. Admittedly the man's smile looked like it had been generated via the use of strategically placed electrodes, but is this reason he shouldn't be Prime Minister? I know I look awful when I pose for a smile in any photo – my Facebook album looks like a collection of Barbara Cartland's death masks, but is that reason enough for me to lose my job? Shouldn't we should be judging our politicians on slightly tougher criteria than facial expressions?

And then there's the inevitable gaffs. Remember when Gordon Brown infamously left his microphone on as he left an interview and describing voter Gillian Duffy as a "bigoted woman"? OK a P.R. disaster, but there was something about the incident that made him ultimately more human. We saw fully through the (admittedly cracked) politician's veneer and saw someone who ultimately makes the same mistakes we do. I know I say awful things when I think people have left the room, or when I'm reading something someone's written. You're probably reading this thinking "What an absolute t**t@? Why do I give a toss what this needy spiky haired pillock is thinking about politics?" And that's ok, you're allowed to think this, because I guarantee I am thinking far worse about you dear reader as I type  :wink;m::

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3669.jpg)

My point, and there is one in case you're thinking that this is the literary equivalent of Where's Wally?, is that surely for politicians ability is more important than both image, and even their own moral standards. If it's a choice between, for example, a chancellor who is rubbish at running at the economy but who lives a squeaky clean life, or a chancellor who is excellent at the numbers stuff but routinely cheats on his wife with animals, then I know who I'm voting for. It's Mr Goat-Shagger for office here. What?! Really you have a problem with that? Why would I be bothered? After all I'm neither his wife, nor a goat, just a citizen looking for a well-run economy.

So there we go let's make a stand here, politicians should be elected on substance not style, by the 10% of people who have done their homework and know what they're voting about. Not by people who know nothing like me. And certainly not by the same tedious people who consider "engaging with politics" to be e-mailing into BBC Breakfast. Outlining their pointless opinions on matters which are of no concern to them, like should NASA be dumping sofas on the Moon? Because stupid people always have an opinion, a stupid opinion. Stop asking for it, and certainly don't let them choose the leader of the country.

Failing that we could always go for a fascist dictatorship. Don't get me wrong the invasion of Poland was awful, but at least Hitler was able to get on do things. Under a democracy he'd be too busy worrying about which side to part his hair for his appearance on the Nazi equivalent of The One Show to get any conquering done. And that surely is a bad thing? I think.

Although all of this could just be a preamble to reintroduce Great Bray Shaman Cameron and Beastlord Clegg to this summer's Warhammer campaign... could be!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on May 16, 2012, 01:13:25 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 16, 2012, 08:28:16 am
but at least Hitler was able to get on do things. Under a democracy he'd be too busy worrying about which side to part his hair for his appearance on the Nazi equivalent of The One Show to get any conquering done. And that surely is a bad thing? I think.

Why do I get a nagging feeling this reads like the opening chapter of one of those 'something I posted on the internet was taken horrifically out of context and came back to haunt me' stories.....  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 16, 2012, 01:27:37 pm
Bit high brow for this forum surely..... :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 16, 2012, 01:39:59 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on May 16, 2012, 01:13:25 pm
Why do I get a nagging feeling this reads like the opening chapter of one of those 'something I posted on the internet was taken horrifically out of context and came back to haunt me' stories.....  :blush:

Let's quash that rumour now shall we?!

Quote from: fatolaf on May 16, 2012, 01:27:37 pm
Bit high brow for this forum surely..... :wink;m::

Not enough poo jokes for you, Ol?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 16, 2012, 06:10:18 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 16, 2012, 08:28:16 am
Update 64 – Wednesday 16th 2012: Is a Fascist Dictatorship really that Bad?


Failing that we could always go for a fascist dictatorship.

I seem to recall the leaflet about the candidates said the BNP guy's father was an immigrant. Made me chuckle did that.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on May 17, 2012, 12:06:12 am
I was just thinking it sounds like your making a case for Heinlans method of voting in starship troopers... Always said it was a good idea!

Funniest thing about modern politics is that the 3 main parties are just completely interchangeable these days. There isn't a more left or right wing party, and they all want to screw with my job to some degree.

Currently it's pensions, but labour took away accommodation for juniors and introduced EWTD, big screw up there.
Personally I only vote for 1 political party. Screaming Lord Sutch was a visionary!


(actually, a lot of his policies made a lot of sense... 99p coin, genius!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 17, 2012, 08:27:46 am
Update 65 – Thursday 17th May 2012: The Story So Far...

The beauty of modern technology means I'm currently typing this blog entry on the move. I'm sat on the floor of a packed commuter train, with a holdall full of paints and Elves as I head down to visit Mr Shakey Shakey – my Wood Elf painting friend for a couple of days of painting. Sadly no matter how amazing my new laptop is, it doesn't make the fact that I am sat on a cold floor, with my heading resting on a wastepaper bin any more bearable. Nor does it magically "disappear" the obese people all around me guzzling their fat faces on bags of cheese & onion crisps. The speed at which their eating them you'd think they hadn't had food for months. The size of their bellies dispels any suggestion this could be true. And why is it always cheese & onion in a public space? It would be less anti-social to open a can of mustard gas and liberally spray the contents around the carriage.

I'm just tilting the laptop round now, the fatty is looking, he's reading the screen. Quick close it before they see. Phew. I'm alright, they've gone back to more crisps, looking at their speed it looks like they have a 24 multi-pack to get through in five minutes flat or they'll be killed. Like a really s**t version of Mission Impossible starring Mr Blobby.

Enough waffle, time for stuff. If ever you watch, mainly American, TV dramas often there's a point in the series where the budget is stretched. Too much money was spent on last week's explosions or getting that amazing guest star, so this week we're forced to have the dreaded "clips" show. Friends did this at least once, and fans of Star Trek: The Next Generation, (if there are none of these on this forum then I have sorely misjudged my audience) will remember the infamous episode "Shades of Gray" This was the one where Riker was forced to relive his past experiences (i.e. clips of old episodes) in order to combat the terrible we've-run-out-of-budget-virus pervading his system. It was so terrible an episode that it caused Picard to pull all his hair out, and Worf to smash his head against a wall so many times that a terrible rash appeared on his forehead that never healed over the remaining five series.

Anyway don't worry this blog, isn't a "clips" blog, it's all new stuff. But in any long term project it's always good to have a look back at where we've come from, how well we're doing, and where we intend to go. This also seems like an opportune moment as the club seems to have a large number of new faces at present – almost exclusively all called Tom. Who are asking me awkward questions, like why is your army Shakeaway themed? Which admittedly even with the back story is odd, so without...,  well god only knows what they must think!

So here's a brief, recap of how this all started. Back in November 2007 I had just got back into Warhammer, after a six or seven year break, and had been painting a Dwarf army. Ready for a new challenge, and seeing a brand new High Elf army book out (the current 7th edition volume), I decided now was the time to collect the High Elves. Something I'd always wanted to do as a teenager but never got round to. Having just painted my Dwarfs with a dark blue colour scheme I didn't want to go for the classic white with deep blue trim for my High Elves. I knew I wanted the white, but what accent colour to use? I toyed with red, but that seemed too aggressive for the High Elves, green maybe (and though I've since seen some amazing green High Elves) but it didn't quite seem right. Yellow then hit me, a nice bright primary colour that wasn't too aggressive for the tone of the High Elves. However yellow and white didn't seem to sit right together, not enough contrast. And that's when I added a blue into the mix, not the dark blue of the Dwarfs but a bright sky blue – both bright and non-aggressive the traits I associated with the High Elves, and sufficiently different from my Dwarfs.

At some point I then realised this colour scheme matched that of my favourite milkshake shop Shakeaway:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers053.jpg)

Whether this was coincidence or subconscious influence by those cheeky little Shakettes (people who serve Shakeaway milkshakes – I'm not even making that up!) we may never know. But the Shakeaway High Elves were born.

Fast forward to September 2010, my High Elves were sitting unloved in a box under my bed, a reasonably sized army but mainly consisting of core troops with a few Silver Helms and Swordmasters – not really a viable fighting force. My attention had been taken firstly by the Warriors of Chaos and then by the Beastmen. But then two things happened, firstly OG Games organised a the "Tale of OG Gamers",  a group event where people "committed" to painting up 200 points chunks of an army every month (as far as I can recall everyone was very good and stayed with it all the way to the end). And secondly Warhammer 8th edition: Isle of Blood, with the brand new amazing High Elves, hit the shop. And so it was decided I would expand my existing High Elf force 200 points at a time. This started here with the first month's painting:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog202.jpg)

The exploits of all this can of course be found here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.615 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=1294.615)

And finally ended with the following 2,000 points:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3970.jpg)
Problem was, now I was a lot better at painting High Elves than last time (in my opinion at least) adding a few washes for my yellows and flesh colours, and better white technique made the finished results cleaner, crispier and just better. So as time passed I became more and more reluctant to use my original Elves, soon this new army surpassed the original army no longer supplementing, but replacing. And soon the 200 point cap vanished, not only were my new High Elves looking better, but they were becoming quicker to paint (lessons learnt in the Beastmen years) and I was really enjoying both painting them and the amazing new models – Dragon Princes, Phoenix Guard etc.

I interrupt this look back to inform you the fat person with the crisps on the train has now got off, and I've got a seat – even if it is covered in crumbs and as an arse groove the size of Lake Windermere pressed it into it. Probably won't notice though my bum is now very numb from the cold floor!

Fast forward to the present day, May 2012, and my army currently stands at a mighty 7,189 points. Sounds like a good excuse for an army snap, we last did this back in Update 44 But a few more units have popped in since then:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3621.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3631.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3635.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3638.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3644.jpg)

Looks good, even if I do say so myself, it's not quite a legal army if I take everything. But maxed out with magic items, and not worrying about percentage restrictions it breaks down thusly:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3665.jpg)

Lords: 2,111 points – 29.36%
A - Tyrion (400 points)
B - Alith Anar (245 points)
C - Prince on Star Dragon (638 points)
D - Prince on Griffon (468 points)
E - Archmage (360 points)

Heroes: 979 points – 13.62%
F - Caradryan (175 points)
G - Korhil (140 points)
H - Noble (151 points)
I - Noble (143 points)
J - Mage (185 points)
K - Mage (185 points)

Core: 1,249 points – 17.37%
L - 20 Archers (245 points)
M - 20 Archers (245 points)
N - 50 Spearmen (500 points)
O - 18 Lothern Sea Guard (259 points)

Special: 2,650 points – 36.86%
P - 17 Swordmasters of Hoeth (360 points)
Q - 20 Phoenix Guard (405 points)
R - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
S - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
T - 10 Dragon Princes of Caledor (425 points)
U - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
V - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
W - 6 Shadow Warriors (108 points)
X - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
Y - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)
Z - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)

Rare: 200 points – 2.78%
AA - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AB - Great Eagle (50 points)
AC - Great Eagle (50 points)

Of course, I could always add all the old High Elves I painted, and now it looks like this!!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3647.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3649.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3651.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3658.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3660.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3664.jpg)

I may have had to break the 1" between units rule. And one thing is for certain I am going to need a bigger chest of drawers!

That makes the army a whopping 10,210 points – and breaking that down (with the old units, now added, in red):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3666.jpg)

Lords: 2,403 points – 23.54%
A - Tyrion (400 points)
B - Alith Anar (245 points)
C - Prince on Star Dragon (638 points)
D - Prince on Griffon (468 points)
E - Prince on Barded Elven Steed (292 points)
F - Archmage (360 points)

Heroes: 1,571 points – 15.39%
G - Caradryan (175 points)
H - Korhil (140 points)
I - Noble, Battle Standard Bearer (206 points)
J - Noble (151 points)
K - Noble (143 points)
L - Mage on Barded Elven Steed (201 points)
M - Mage (185 points)
N - Mage (185 points)
O - Mage (185 points)

Core: 1,883 points – 18.44%
P - 12 Archers (157 points)
Q - 12 Archers (157 points)
R - 20 Archers (245 points)
S - 20 Archers (245 points)
T - 15 Spearmen (160 points)
U - 15 Spearmen (160 points)
V - 50 Spearmen (500 points)
W - 18 Lothern Sea Guard (259 points)

Special: 3,953 points – 38.72%
X - 20 Swordmasters of Hoeth (405 points)
Y - 17 Swordmasters of Hoeth (360 points)
Z - 20 Phoenix Guard (405 points)
AA - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
AB - 20 White Lions of Charce (405 points)
AC - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
AD - 12 Silver Helms (316 points)
AE - 10 Dragon Princes of Caledor (425 points)
AF - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
AG - 5 Ellyrian Reavers (133 points)
AH - 5 Shadow Warriors (85 points)
AI - 6 Shadow Warriors (108 points)
AJ - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
AK - Tiranoc Chariot (85 points)
AL - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)
AM - Lion Chariot of Chrace (140 points)

Rare: 400 points – 3.92%
AN - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AO - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AP - Repeater Bolt Thrower (100 points)
AQ - Great Eagle (50 points)
AR - Great Eagle (50 points)

At this point, you'd think I'd be done. There can no more Elves I could possibly want to paint! Well... nearly. Like Peter Stringfellow on a night out, I just can't say no to one more model (or 60!). I would like to point out I don't really expect to field all this in one go, it's now more of a collection, and more of panting project than a viable tabletop army. And to be honest I still really enjoying painting the High Elves.

So what more is there to add, well my mega army box before Christmas, isn't quite empty yet:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1437.jpg)

There's the Dragon still to do, which I'm doing primarily as a Dragon Mage, though as you saw in Update 59 I have built the Archmage to use on it too. There's also five more Dragon Princes and thirty-two Spearmen left over, now if they hadn't been in the box I wouldn't have bought these, but as I have them it seems a shame not to paint them.

Then I was lucky enough to purchase, off one of the many Tom's (thanks Tom K!!), seven more Swordmasters and Sea Guard. The Sea Guard I've always wanted to add to as eighteen isn't enough to benefit from all those spears, so with those and five I picked up from the new Warhammer Paint Kit that will give me a total of thirty Sea Guard, much more respectable.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3535.jpg)

The Swormasters will add to my unit of seventeen, I don't know about you but I hate not having square units. Seventeen is horribly prime for my liking so the extra seven will make a much nicer twenty-four, and to be honest I can't miss the opportunity to paint any more of those beautiful Swordmaster models.

Then I wouldn't mind adding a Bolt Thrower, one seems rather poor for a 7,000 point + army, a second Tiranoc Chariot because they look good operating in pairs and then some characters. The two plastic kits that make two heroes and two mages were great fun to paint back when I started the first High Elves so I'm going to have another go – at least this way I'll have a brand new Battle Standard Bearer I'm not ashamed to bring to the fight.

Oh, and then there's a few special characters Teclis, Eltharion and Imrik*. Problem is none of them are in Finecast and I hate metal so not sure what I do. I'm sure Teclis would be ok, simple metal character straight in base, but I'm not sure about assembling Eltharion and Imrik in metal, though that classic Eltharion model from my childhood would be a joy to paint.

* - Imrik technically isn't in the book now but he is fondly remembered, and I do like that model!

Right so that sounds like a lot:
Dragon Mage
32 Spearmen
7 Swordmasters
12 Lothern Sea Guard
5 Dragon Princes
Tiranoc Chariot
Repeater Bolt Thrower
5+ Characters

But a) it's a lot less than I have already painted, and b) The Dragon Mage, Spearmen, Sea Guard, Swordmasters and Dragon Princes are all assembled, undercoated and well on their way to being basecoated. So I reckon we are in the last couple of months of project Shakeaway High Elf. Barring new army book, of course! That would ruin everything, and be fun at the same time – like an extra marital affair I guess.

So there we are, hope that trip wasn't too boring, but as I say nice to see how much is done – and it's giving me a real push for the last batch of 50 or so infantry, nearly, nearly there. Maybe I should arrange sponsorship, it certainly feels like a marathon!

Oh and on the plus side the train has arrived, and no one has stolen my laptop, nor have I had to use a rail replacement bus. Things are looking up indeed!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on May 17, 2012, 10:59:25 am
F*ck me thats big.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on May 17, 2012, 11:31:52 am
Well, you know what they say about people with big armies...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jansuza on May 17, 2012, 11:48:31 am
big... carry cases?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 17, 2012, 03:03:55 pm
Big... blogs?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Loyn on May 17, 2012, 03:14:17 pm
Big, hairy testicles?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 17, 2012, 04:56:14 pm
Piss bored of painting the same thing over and over?

This mass army shot gig is going to force me to go all competitive and rock out my armies to see how they compare.  Most of them quite simply don't come close but I wonder about the dwarfs, only thing I lack are nice 600+ pts characters riding monsters.  That said I've still got one model out the dwarf book I've never painted and any dwarf player worth their salt will tell you it's virtually compulsory to have one and that's a lord on shieldbearers.

Anyways enough trying to be a competitive twat and comparing the size of mine to yours (fyi a tank brush would possibly suffice but I've never tried, if this makes no sense look back a page or two).  Fantastic work to have stuck with an army to this size, it is a truely awesome sight, now pass me those cheese and onion crisps, I've not eaten for weeks.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on May 17, 2012, 06:09:31 pm
Quote from: Dave on May 17, 2012, 04:56:14 pm
now pass me those cheese and onion crisps, I've not eaten for weeks.
You have to keep your strength up now that you're eating for 2 Dave!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 17, 2012, 11:30:57 pm
Quote from: Tom Loyn on May 17, 2012, 03:14:17 pm
Big, hairy testicles?

That's for me to know, and you not to find out!

Quote from: Dave on May 17, 2012, 04:56:14 pm
Piss bored of painting the same thing over and over?

Do you know what, no, not in the slightest. Even the recent army has been painted up alongside Beastmen, Warrior and Dreadfleet bits so there's always been variation. For me though the High Elf models are all amazing, and all the colours come out well - with the Chaos stuff the horns always come out a bit and miss, and Dwarf beards are a bit frustrating but none (with the exception of White Lion skin) of the colours used here are a pain to paint.

Quote from: Dave on May 17, 2012, 04:56:14 pm
Anyways enough trying to be a competitive twat and comparing the size of mine to yours (fyi a tank brush would possibly suffice but I've never tried, if this makes no sense look back a page or two).

Haha didn't mean to start a competition! Got the tank brush reference, well done for remembering that!

Quote from: Dave on May 17, 2012, 04:56:14 pm
Fantastic work to have stuck with an army to this size, it is a truely awesome sight, now pass me those cheese and onion crisps, I've not eaten for weeks.

Cheers mate, much appreciated. Is the eating comment in reference to how long it took to get through the blog?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 19, 2012, 10:28:50 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 17, 2012, 11:30:57 pm
Cheers mate, much appreciated. Is the eating comment in reference to how long it took to get through the blog?
Nah it's cos I'm a fat git who munches crisps non stop on trains as though I'd not eaten anything for ages.

Though that may have been a joke and not one that gets better through explaining.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 19, 2012, 11:51:15 am
Quote from: Dave on May 19, 2012, 10:28:50 am
Though that may have been a joke and not one that gets better through explaining.

I'm pretty sure I can't comment on jokes that need explanation!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 20, 2012, 11:46:44 am
We need to see a battle report at some point between your high elves and beastmen...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 20, 2012, 08:50:42 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on May 20, 2012, 11:46:44 am
We need to see a battle report at some point between your high elves and beastmen...

That is a good idea - though would require lots of Microsoft Paint drawing. And would need to get a van in to bring all those models to the club!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 23, 2012, 08:49:59 am
Update 66 – Wednesday 23rd May 2012: At Least There's Somewhere Now to Keep the Brooms

This week please indulge me on a topic that is both close to my heart and has kept me clothed and fed for seven years, as I discuss my passion for children's television – that's my passion for children's TELEVISION you dirty minded selective readers.

The BBC Trust, if that's not an oxymoron (I personally find it difficult to find trust in anyone who puts Homes Under the Hammer on our television screens), have completed their latest Putting Quality First spending review. Putting Quality First is nothing to do with ensuring that Snog, Marry or Avoid? is in the latest possible scheduling slot, but in making sure that as the BBC tries to save money it puts its quality programmes first.

The main nugget of news that hit the headlines last week when this broke, was the decision to move children's programming off BBC One and BBC Two, keeping it all on the CBBC and CBeebies channels. There's a good logic to this decision, by the time the changes are made every television in the country will have access to the children's channels, the vast majority of kid viewers already use CBBC and CBeebies. And critically the children's department loses no funding, in fact by not having to provide content for the former terrestrial channels it has more money to spend on its main channels.

This decision has come under a lot of fire, from those who believe this is some kind of snub to children, that this somehow is a sad day for the children of the nation. Actually it isn't. Children's programmes in the afternoon on BBC One are traditional in your childhood, because then that was the only option for children's programming – we didn't have dozens of 24 hour children's channels, we didn't have DVDs and an endless supply of on demand programming. To children today the end of children's programmes on BBC One means a little less choice in quite a busy programming landscape. Kids aren't going to get lost and not find the CBBC and CBeebies channels, they're more across remote controls than the average adult! For the majority of today's children the concept of four channels is something studied in history alongside the Vikings and the Romans. In actual fact the terrestrial channels to children are the odd channels, channels that sometimes show news, sometimes kids' programmes, sometimes entertainment and sadly sometimes Dickenson's Real Deal.

All that said the decision is a little sad, but I am acutely aware it is sad as it represents the end of something I held in high esteem as a child, a tradition for my childhood not today's children! Yes a sad, but logical decision. It's a bit like the death of an elderly relative, it's sad but you know logic is saying you can now sell their house and make lots of money.

For many people of my generation, a lasting memory of their childhood will be children's programmes on BBC One (or ITV) in the afternoons, my incarnation being The Broom Cupboard, and the big Saturday morning shows – Going Live and Live & Kicking being the ones I most remember. And to me as a child, there was something special about those programmes being on BBC One, it was saying this is the time for kids. Afternoons were the kids' version of the evening primetime, and Saturday mornings the big entertainment extravaganza mirroring Saturday nights. And the fact these were on the primary channels was part of the draw.



Of course such nostalgia doesn't concern today's kids, and it's important than children's television evolves for today's kids – not old f**ts like myself. I'd love to be making massive Saturday morning children's shows like Live & Kicking, but today's children don't want them. The idea of sitting in front of three hours of Saturday morning television is as arcane to them as sending in an answer on the back of a postcard. Kids today are busy, they can't give up their precious time to watch several hours of a phone-in with Judi Dench and Phillip Schofield laugh his way through a cookery item with his puppet sidekick. And in fairness if they did want to see that, they could just watch This Morning – apologies to Holly Willoughby.

However it still seems fitting to mark the passing of the children's afternoons on BBC One for us children of the eighties! To do that, I'd like to have a quick nostalgic trip through some of my favourite children's programmes of my time. The shows that made up the gaps between Phillip Schofield, Andy Crane, Andi Peters, Toby Anstis, Simon Parkin, Phillipa Forestter, Edd the Duck, Gordon the Gopher, Wilson the Butler and many more I've probably forgotten. So here is a non-exhaustive look at some great children's telly shows!

Maid Marian & Her Merry Men – Essentially Blackadder for children, apparently this remains the most expensive children's programme ever made in the UK. The 22½ residents of the muddy village of Worksop (an early Glastonbury) are protected from King John's temper tantrums (modelled on myself after I've missed an edition of The Apprentice) by a cowardly Robin Hood.



Blue Peter – Everyone has a different generation of Blue Peter they remember, your parents probably remember Lulu pooing on the studio floor (the elephant not the singer) during a time when Blue Peter was presented by wholesome forty-somethings. Nowadays the presenters are so young, that the current ones are actual foetuses that would show you how to make a model of Tracey Island out of the placenta and the umbilical cord, if it weren't the fact that they're too young to remember Thunderbirds. My generation was Mark Curry – when he was busy knocking the heads of LEGO men and not dying a death on Catchphrase; Anthea Turner – between getting blown up in an explosion, and becoming annoying; John Leslie – before he allegedly starting showing the ladies "something he made earlier" whether they wanted to see it or not; and Caron Keating – who it's very hard to write anything funny about.



The Girl from Tomorrow and Escape from Jupiter – Nowadays we're used to American imports dominating our schedules, but these were two excellent Australian sci-fi dramas. The Girl from Tomorrow, which centred around a girl from the year 3000 who chose to travel back in time to the year 1990 (presumably to be niche, as everyone else was going back to 2000). Her time machine being the Crystal Dome stolen from Richard O'Brian. Escape from Jupiter featured an unlikely group of children (led by a ginger kid - controversial) escaping from a mining colony on Jupiter's moon Io. I remember being particularly annoyed when an episode was taken off air to cut to a newsflash announcing Margaret Thatcher's resignation ahead of a leadership challenge. I'm sure as an adult I'd be much more tolerant now if a programme I was enjoying was taken off-air to go to David Cameron doing something.



NewsroundNewsround has been, and continues to be, an amazing show for kids. I regret not appreciating it more as a child, and making it an appointment to view. The show's never shied away from explaining the complex issues of quite an unpleasant world to younger viewers. A few years ago explaining the suicide of a CBBC presenter.



Around the World with Willy FogAround the World Willy Fogg was the cartoon serialisation of the Jules Verne novel Eighty Days Around the World, with one minor plot point – Willy Fog was a lion and the world was populated by animals. This excellent cartoon, conveyed the excellence of the story, whilst including the fun and excitement required to keep it suitable for kids. Although the cartoon never did explain why no one ever complained about Fog smelling – despite the fact he wore the same suit for eighty days, nor why Transfer had a disco ball for an eye, or why the Governor of the Bank of England was allowed to gamble away all his wealth (fortunately today's politicians could never be that irresponsible). I remember sending off for a song sheet with all the words to the theme song, from then broom cupboard presenter Andy Crane. Ahh how easily I was pleased back then.



I'm sure there's many other highlights you remember. So here's to the end of CBBC on BBC One. Whilst I totally understand the decision, the kids of today probably don't realise the significance of the change. I for one will be a little sad at the passing of an institution of my childhood, that later went on to inspire what I laughably refer to as "proper" job and career!

And whilst I've sung the praises of programmes past, it goes without saying that today's children programmes still feature some excellent content, particularly the programmes I've produced! As a final note I would like to say that all the programmes made and shown by my current employer and any future employers are excellent and well worth watching by children and adult alike – especially if you own a Barb box.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on May 23, 2012, 10:55:22 am
No Mysterious Cities of Gold or Thundercats make the list?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcH_ZTF6smY

boo.... fix......  :p
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 23, 2012, 01:32:15 pm
A few of my childhood favourites, which are probably a bit earlier than some of yours Matt..

From late 70's to mid 80's















And one of my all time favourites...

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 23, 2012, 01:39:50 pm
And a few from overseas, of which the first must be the best intro ever...



Check out Ron Howards Big brother in the titles









Aaah memories
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 23, 2012, 04:24:19 pm
Ol, you missed flipper.  Put him (her?) in and you've pretty much got every animal show from TV covered!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 23, 2012, 04:44:31 pm
Quote from: Dave on May 23, 2012, 04:24:19 pm
Ol, you missed flipper. 

Fecking hated that show, not sure I even liked Gentle Ben that much

I have of course missed out some obvious shows like Dangermouse, Bagpuss, Button Moon, Clangers, Trumpton, Rhubard & Custard, the list goes on, was a classic era for kids TV..

And of course not an afternoon show, but one of the most expensive BBC productions aimed at Kids (such a shame they ran out of money to do the 3rd and last series)..

Tripods , awesome books, awesome series and haunting title tune

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 23, 2012, 07:44:50 pm
ah Wacky Races, Yogi and Scooby.

They don't make cartoons like they used to.

If you'll excuse me I toddle off whilst muttering like an old git.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 24, 2012, 02:42:43 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on May 23, 2012, 10:55:22 am
No Mysterious Cities of Gold or Thundercats make the list?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcH_ZTF6smY

boo.... fix......  :p

I knew adding in the phrase "non-exhaustive" would be legally required. Thundercats was great, I only vaguely remember Mysterious Cities though...

Ol - I loved Wacky Races and remember they repeated Rentoghost as part of some Saturday morning offing I think, enjoyed. But I think as a kid you can always tell when something is being repeated that was made for an earlier generation. Just as my choices are undoubtedly now arcane!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on May 24, 2012, 03:48:33 pm
Mysterious Cities of Gold... I loved that show! I think I was a bit young when it first came out, but my older cousins had every episode on VHS.

Anyone remember this one, with its gloriously 80s Top Gun-esque theme? Just realised having watched it again that one of the characters is basically R2D2.



But my absolute favourite TV theme tune has to be the closing titles to The Raccoons:



So much so that I have it on my iPod... yep, I am that cool!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on May 24, 2012, 04:27:21 pm
Littlest Hobo! Thats my theme tooon!!



Being all young and stuff.. my childhood tv shows are mostly dodgy citv stuff.

I recently rediscovered WHIZZYWIG .. a small alien creature that makes wishes true... but only wishes that you don't mean!

Wiki- Many hilarious escapades ensued as the wishes made by unaware students in Whizziwigs earshot would be granted. However in one notable incident a student wished his teacher was dead resulting in an unusually sombre episode. Despite never achieving commercial success many critics hailed the show as groundbreaking in the manner in which it dealt with adult themes such as morality, death, and mereological nihilism, whilst still being accessible to its young audience.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 24, 2012, 04:55:12 pm
Quotemereological nihilism

Phrase of the day :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 25, 2012, 09:31:34 am
Update 67 – Friday 25th May 2012: Return of the Dark Lord

Regular followers of this blog, those that haven't ended up in deep therapy, will know that in addition to the 4 billion High Elves I've painted, I also have a Beastmen army. The Beastmen haven't seen much love in recent months, they've been about as welcome in my army case as Aleshia Dixon would be at the Strictly Come Dancing party. What is the reason for this you may be wondering? Well wonder no more my little cherub, I shall tell you! Back last summer when I finished my last batch of Beastmen models, the army was pretty much complete. However the last models I built were my Razagor and two more Beastmen chariots. The Razagor were an absolute a**e to put together, you may remember, my flatmate certainly does – he still vividly remembers cowering behind the sofa as bits of Razagor body were hurled around the living room whilst I shouted like a whaling banshee. It was this rage that really put me against ever working with multiple-part metal models again, and pleased me greatly when Citadel Finecast appeared on the scene (though none of the models I wanted came out in Finecast!). The very first game I played post this horrendous assembly, led to two of my brand new Beastmen Chariots collapsing to pieces – despite them being more heavily pinned down than a prostitute in the average England player's dressing room. To say I was annoyed was a bit of understatement, and it really put me off the Beastmen. The Beastmen were packed away on shelves and in boxes and haven't seen the light of day since.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3668-1.jpg)

However recently I've started to get itchy brush syndrome (like itchy-dick, but with less chance of ruining your marriage) while painting the High Elves. You may remember last week in Update 65 I'd talked about how much I'd enjoyed painting the High Elves, well that is still true, but a tiny part of me is looking forward to getting another pass at the Beastmen maybe to add the odd one of their new big gribblies (I say "new", the December lot).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1927.jpg)

Anyway with this in mind, and a new summer campaign underway (timed perfectly for the weather), it seemed like the perfect time to dust off the Beastmen and get my love back for them. First up the glue needs to be deployed – the Beastmen chariots are still in the pieces they ended that fateful game in, looking like the average attempt at an IKEA self-assembly wardrobe. Approximately 75% of my metal Beastmen with hand weapon and shield are without shield, and Malagor could be in training for the Paralympics.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3673.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3679.jpg)

So with glue, pinning and a bit of luck fully applied the Beastmen are ready for battle. And with that it's time for the return of the infamous Beastmen army led by Great Bray Shaman Cameron and his ally Beastlord Clegg. Those of you who are unfamiliar with the tales of these two infamous villains, probably won't really understand what's going on. To be honest those who are familiar, and myself, probably will still be a bit confused. But back in early 2011 OG Games ran it's Black Isle (not as racist as it sounds!) campaign where my Beastmen army lead by Great Bray-Shaman Cameron and Beastlord Clegg (names I just picked at random, obviously!) took to battle with their coalition themed army. If you're interested in how they got on look through my old blog and find it for yourself!  :wink;m::

Broadly speaking the Beastmen faired badly. Apparently naming your characters, utterly coincidentally, after unpopular public figures of the time, provokes the same kind of reaction as painting "Iraqi Field Hospital" on the roof of your building receives from American bombers. And due to an unfortunate character injury table that carried over through the campaign, most of my characters were just simply torsos with stumps – hoping the next gift the Chaos Gods would give them would be a mobility scooter. Well, defeated last time it's time for the return of Great Bray-Shaman Cameron and the coalition army, this time OG City lies within his beady gaze (presuming any eyes survived the last campaign). Can anyone stand in his way?... in fairness the Doncaster Under 9's Ballet Team could probably stand in his way, but we'll proceed none-the-less.

Tale of Two OG's II – Tales from the Coalition Army

Great Bray-Shaman Cameron, was angry, one long year he'd spent licking his wounds. Months spent looking to the Sun before finally the Chaos Gods, Rupert and James, had seen potential in him, and his latest gifts had replaced his missing limbs. Although interestingly they'd now given him a second face, not that, that concept bothered the Bray-Shaman at all. No amount of killing the Empire's soldiers, desecrating Bretonnian shrines and taking away people's disability allowance had improved his mood.

Beastlord Clegg stomped over, his new hoof still didn't sound right, he let out a guttural roar. Instinctively Cameron knew what he meant, he wanted to know where the next fight would be. That or he was moaning about his recent defeat in the Beastmen elections, losing Herdstone Central and Dung Heap West had hurt him, but it was Clegg's fault he needed to stop losing battles, and opposing his reforms to employment laws – that let Ungors be eaten if their employers saw fit, it was good for the herd! The Bray-Shaman presumed Clegg's inquiry was the first option. He paused for a moment, gazing into the ether to hear what the voices wanted, to see a premonition. In mere seconds a whaling banshee called to him, her deep cackling and hideous visage scarring his mind just thinking of them. She was wailing to him, calling to him, attempting to awake his Primal Fury. Then he saw the most disturbing feature her hair, her crimson red curly hair – reflecting the very fires of hell itself. She called to him, commanded him, to head to OG City, she had a request for the Bray-Shaman. He was to bring her a horse.

Realising they would need funds to raise the kind of army required to take OG City, Great Bray-Shaman Cameron immediately held an impromptu kitchen supper with a number of key business leaders. And soon found himself with a large amount of cash. And then the herd as one let loose a deep roar, the Beastmen coalition was on the march, and no one would stop them.

As they approached the OG City, the Bray-Shaman saw a small contingent of Wood Elves or Tomb Kings – he couldn't be sure, it seemed to vary dependent on which day of the week it was and who was available. With his army arriving peace-meal, Cameron glanced up and down his new arm and leg. He wasn't prepared to repeat the mistakes of The Black Isle, he wasn't going to commit himself just yet. He needed to send someone in to do his dirty business, someone who wouldn't be bothered if they lost a limb or two. Then it struck him there was one such Beastmen a Gor so ugly, so twisted and with such a distorted face that even he lost a limb or two he couldn't be any more ugly. Nothing could distract from that hideous face. And so Great Bray-Shaman Cameron, sent his junior Bray-Shaman Osborne to the first battle.


So it was time to select a new Beastmen army, something I hadn't done in a while. With excitement I picked Warhammer Armies: Beastmen off the shelf, opened it and was immediately greeted by that all-to familiar smell of failure. Still at least, unlike the High Elf book, none of the pages had fallen out.

With only 800 points to play with this in the first battle, it wasn't going to be a vast hoard, but I was confident we could get a variety of units in. Thankfully Great Bray-Shaman Cameron had dictated that he and Clegg would not be fighting this battle, as I think I'd struggle to get a Lord in at this points' level.

My first pick was Bray-Shaman Osborne, he would both be the general and provide some magical support for my army. I bumped him up to a Level 2 and equipped him with The Chalice of Dark Rain (One use only, for duration of enemy shooting phase all units at -1 to hit, war machines that don't use BS can only fire on a 4+) – this would prove useful in the coming battles as I'm sure to face a battery of shooting (admittedly it would be less useful against Tomb Kings with their unmodified to hit rolls but there we go.) Spell Lore was, I knew Lore of the Wild would be as much use as a chocolate teapot, Lore of Beasts was good, but wanted this for Cameron, so I ummed and ahhhed between Death and Shadows, before finally plumping for Death. Seemed appropriate somehow!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3748.jpg)

Next I picked some core, Beastmen Tuskgor Chariots are a must, very few armies have chariots in their core, and they can prove a right nuisance for the enemy, so I snapped up two. I considered a third, but that seemed a bit mean at this points' level.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3762.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3765.jpg)

Instead I rounded out my core with two units of 5 Ungor Raiders – each with Halfhorn and musician. These would be used to shield my units and re-direct potentially annoying chargers. Potentially one unit could go in Ambush as well, probably not that useful but at 39 points a unit it could get lucky and take out an annoying war machine early.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3741.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3744.jpg)

Special next and time for some hard hitters, I took 3 Minotaurs with Great Weapons always good for chopping up tough units and potentially getting better and better every combat phase. I'd like more, but that would have to wait for a bigger army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3756.jpg)

And then to compliment that 3 Razorgor – powerful on the charge, this beasties arefast  pretty nifty and under-estimated (as most people don't like the model!). Besides I'd spent about three years of my life assembling the bastards so I was dam well going to use them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3768.jpg)

I had a few points left over and not really much I could use them on, bar more Ungor Raiders which didn't seem that helpful or fun. So instead I plumped for a Chaos Spawn – not amazing I grant you, but their random movement does make them useful against skirmishers and fast cavalry – and at this points' level tieing up an annoying unit like that could be important. Besides it seemed most importantly fun.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3737.jpg)

So there we go the army list, is:

Bray Shaman Cameron – with Level 2, Chalice of Dark Rain and additional hand weapon (152 Points)

5x Ungor Raiders – armed with short bows, with Halfhorn and musician (39 points)

5x Ungor Raiders – armed with short bows, with Halfhorn and musician (39 points)

Tuskgor Chariot – crewed by Gor with spear and Bestigor with great weapon (80 points)

Tuskgor Chariot – crewed by Gor with spear and Bestigor with great weapon (80 points)

3 Minotaurs – armed with light armour and great weapons (189 points)

3 Razagors – (155 points)

Chaos Spawn – (55 points)

TOTAL: 789 point – yeah that is 11 points short, I c**ked it up doing my intial add up – oh well 11 extra points next week to spend!!

The astute amongst you may have noted that I have now revealed both my army list and upcoming plan for this whole campaign. Well I figured what with that, and playing Beastmen I have an excellent excuse when I lose the every game, and have exceptional bragging rights should I by some miracle win. So watch out enemies of the Beastmen, in fact watch out reason, because Cameron and Clegg are back...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3773.jpg)

Sadly at the time of writing I haven't actually played any games, but fingers crossed by next week I should have some juicy battle reports filled with tales of death (hopefully not just Beastmen).

Until then...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Annie on May 25, 2012, 09:46:17 am
You used my photo guide!!! *jumps up and down squealing and clapping!!"
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 25, 2012, 10:00:30 am
And how did it go against the Woodies then? :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 25, 2012, 10:22:05 am
Quote from: Annie on May 25, 2012, 09:46:17 am
You used my photo guide!!! *jumps up and down squealing and clapping!!"

I always use your photo guide nowadays for final models - any poor photos are due to my own incompetence, not the photo guide!!

Quote from: fatolaf on May 25, 2012, 10:00:30 am
And how did it go against the Woodies then? :cool3:

Not bad, not bad! Sorry not time to add it to today's blog. Will get the VP up on the other thread tonight when I get home.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 25, 2012, 10:30:21 am
perhaps switching the red light that appears to be in your room off might help the photos, but then you don't want to appear closed for business I suppose...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 25, 2012, 11:02:26 am
Quote from: Dave on May 25, 2012, 10:30:21 am
perhaps switching the red light that appears to be in your room off might help the photos, but then you don't want to appear closed for business I suppose...

I don't know what it is about when I photograph Beastmen that makes their flesh come out so red. Still on an unrelated note I've now made enough money to buy a new Dark Elf army, with change leftover to get the cream needed to clean up the rash earnt doing so!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 30, 2012, 09:31:18 am
Update 68 – Wednesday 30th May 2012: Born in the UK

In a desperate bid to try and make money from my blogs and retire in a sunshine paradise with a harem of prostitutes all coated in mint chocolate chip ice cream, here's my attempt to become a travel writer. Enjoy.

Back in April I was lucky enough to go on a work trip to the United States of America, this was only my second visit to our trans-Atlantic friends. My first visit was back on the 9th of September 2001, and so I was pleased that this visit didn't happen to coincide with any acts of international terrorism. Which has trips abroad go, is always a plus. Before you get too jealous of my amazing trip, here's a photo from the rooftop of my hotel, which as you can see is terrible, yes this truly was an awful trip:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3786.jpg)

America sort of tricks you into thinking it isn't really abroad. We're so used to American culture in our films, television and brands, combined with the similarity of language, that you could be forgiven for thinking initially it will be no different to home. However America isn't a mirror of Britain, more Britain painted in a cubist style – there's the odd element of familiarity in a veneer of confusion. A bit like when you walk in a designer clothes store, there appears to be familiar looking shapes of clothes, but for some unknown reason they've been displayed in a pile of straw on a load of broken computer equipment sprayed with purple poster paint (it's artistic I'm told).

The main thing that struck me about America is the scale on which everything is done. And I'm not just talking about people's waistlines before you misinterpret for comedy effect, though by this point you've probably started added in your own jokes just to keep yourself from slitting your wrists in this barren wasteland bereft of humour. Try sitting opposite me at work, if you want to know true tedium. Everything in America is done on a huge scale, where in London land and space has to be conserved to such an extent that I spent my entire university career folded away in the space occupied by an edition of travel Yaztee. In America space is abundant, why have terraced houses when you can put a kilometre of space between each building? Even in smaller towns and suburbs large buildings dominated the skyline, only dwarfed by the humungous advertising hoardings. It's if the latest movies have sponsored the very sky itself, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if I'd seen clouds formed in the shape of the McDonald's golden arches wafting across the horizon.

I went to the post office in order to purchase a stamp so I could send a postcard to my mother – being that she's unable to distinguish the difference between a work trip and a holiday, the primary difference being the former does not provide any time to visit post offices to send postcards. Even the post office is a hugely crafted multi-story building:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3778.jpg)

In Britain this kind of building would be reserved only for the town's mayor, and only then if they'd fiddled the public accounts to get it built. For comparison here's the Post Office in Clapham:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3789.jpg)

It's not quite the same is it?

The same principal of course applies to American food, the food is lovely but the concept of portion control couldn't be less American if it was daubed in a Taliban flag and burnt live on Fox News. Why have a Lasagne for one, when you can have on the size of a double bed. You could quite easily slip between the layers of pasta sheets and have 40 winks in a nice tomato base. America is probably the only nation whose lasagne is available in a 13.5 tog rating. The average American breakfast, in the hotel I was staying at, required the lifetime's work of several chickens and the death of an extended family of pigs. Looking for a light option, I thought I'd try out the pancakes with banana choice on the menu. This will be light. I was wrong.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3779.jpg)

It was less a stack of pancakes more a skyscraper, each pancake could have been an individual storey, and I was tempted to install an elevator through the centre (look at me with the American lingo!). In fact here's the same picture but with an average-sized human shown to scale:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3787.jpg)

Although of course that said, some types of food are always welcome in extra large scale:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3780.jpg)

Before you criticise and think I was doing nothing on this trip except eating, I should point I spent time painting High Elves there too:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3788.jpg)

See very busy.

I was staying in Los Angeles, apparently the most westerly major city in the world. There you go fact fans impress your mates down the pub with that gem, I would but I have no mates and the idea of socialising appals me.

Of course the major attraction of Los Angeles is the Hollywood sign, and here's some photos I took of it, which to you will be at least 3% more exciting than seeing any other photo you've seen of it anywhere else. Why? Because I took it, I was there.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3782.jpg)

And to prove that I am vaguely intellectual here's the famous Griffith's Observatory:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3781.jpg)

And to destroy any respect I gained from that last sentence, I'll tell you that the observatory is very exciting because it featured in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager (hashtag geek).

Another key site of Hollywood is Hollywood Boulevard:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3783.jpg)

I wasn't really sure what I was expecting Hollywood Boulevard to look like, I think I imagined it would be a gold plated street with impressive marble film studios all along it. And in fairness some bits are like that, well maybe not gold-plated. But there are few plush looking film studios, swanky hotels and amazing restaurants. However large sections are stars just outside tatty souvenir shops and rundown cafes.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3784.jpg)

It's a bit like the first time you visit Oxford Street expecting it to be a glittery shopping paradise, only to be disappointed to discover that amongst the big department stores there's an Officer's Club and a Sports Direct. It somehow lets the whole thing down. Though on Hollywood Boulevard, you can have the indignity of being the film star whose name happens to be outside the newsagent with the filthy, broken windows. I am guessing that would only happen if you weren't a very good film star. I suppose the Oxford Street equivalent would be writing Shane Ritchie's name on the pavement outside Primark with a blue aerosol spray can.

While we are talking about Hollywood Boulevard, I should give a mention to the amazing Cirque du Soliel which I saw in the Kodak Theatre (after fighting my way through a number of street entertainers wearing suspiciously bad costumes, such as Darth Vader in a blue cloak – presumably because the factory reject costume was so much cheaper). The Cirque du Soliel performance was absolutely amazing, well at least I imagine it was. Problem was I'd worked through the previous night and only had three hours sleep, so as soon I sat down in a darkened theatre my eyelids dropped faster than Katie Price's underwear. Still I imagine it was really good. If you're ever in Los Angeles I urge you to go sleep through it.

And with that I think covered every single aspect of the fifty states of America, you can't possibly have any more questions. Though I should imagine reading this blog you'll soon be expecting to me get my own travel blog. I for one and am all for the prospect of free trips. Like all good travel writers I will sign off with a summation line encapsulating the whole American experience. "If you like America, go to America."

Oh and of course there's nothing funny about this picture

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3785.jpg)

Nothing at all.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 30, 2012, 11:30:50 am
Agree, there was nothing funny about that at all...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 30, 2012, 06:25:51 pm
What that supposed to be a joke? If so I don't get it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 30, 2012, 09:22:11 pm
In the kind of clubs I go to Swinger is someone who specialises in sleeping with lots of people (often those in couples). I found it amusing they had their own parking - for easy access. No... shit I'm losing my touch, have to retire from blogging.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on May 31, 2012, 05:44:07 am
I loled! Don't retire just yet, Matt  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 31, 2012, 08:34:06 am
Mine was just a veiled insult, the 'nothing funny about this at all' wasn't specifically referenced to the picture, just the whole post.  :wink;m::

ps I get the whole you've gone to a foreign country for work that counts as a holiday thing too.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on May 31, 2012, 12:53:10 pm
I saw it as the US version of Dogging.... :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 07, 2012, 09:15:48 am
Update 69 – Thursday 7th June 2012: Groundhog Battle

Apologies for the lack of pictures this week, but you're big boys and girls know – plain text can hold your attention. Go on prove me right!!

Back in Update 67, two weeks ago, I discussed the selection process for the first 800 points of my Beastmen coalition army (and its ridiculous character names). Well I've finally got round to typing up the battle report from that day! Go me!!

Tale of Two OG's II – Tales from the Coalition Army: Battle 1

Battle 1a

Bray Shaman Osborne peered through the forest, the Wood Elves, ancient enemy and known Neil Kinnock supporter were lined up in front of him. The Death Magic ran through his body and he immediately remembered the spells Aspect of the Dreadknight and Purple Sun of Xereus – he did however forget if he was e-mailed about phone hacking and that the spell Aspect of the Dreadknight was largely useless against an army immune to psychology.

As the battle began Osborne took refuge in a tower, from which to oversee the battlefield better. His Chaos Spawn shambled up the left flank only to be shot to pieces by the accursed Glade Guard. The Ungor Raiders who were positioned to block the Elves from attacking the Minotaurs and Razagor became problematic as they were forced to charge some Dryads along with the Razagor in order to get out of the monstrous beasts' way. While the Razagor mangled the Dryads, the Dryads in turn butchered the Ungor forcing the Razagor to flee who were pursued and caught by the Dryads.

Osborne try to improve the situation by casting Purple Sun of Xereus, but the low Wind of Magic, Elven ability to dispel even without a Spellweaver and his general preference for blue over purple prevented him from summoning the spell. However the Minotaurs and Tuskgor Chariots did better smashing into the second unit of Dryads reducing them to matchwood. Osborne laughed at his own funny matchwood joke, after all they were trees really!!! The second unit of Ungor Raiders were shot by the Glade Guard despite the use of the Chalice of Dark Rain.

Things took a dark turn as Osborne watched the Wood Elf General on Stag and the Treekin charge the Minotaurs, the Minotaurs took many wounds but fled to safety. However this allowed the Treekin to pursue into the first Tuskgor Chariot which was destroyed. The second Tuskgor chariot however manoeuvred through the Elven lines and managed to charge and destroy the Glade Guard.

As the sun began to set, the Minotaurs rallied, but the remaining Dryads not fancying their chances hid from their rage. Osborne had been defeated, he cursed the Wood Elves loudly before deciding to raise their taxes.

As Osborne was about to head back to Great Bray Shaman Cameron and report, he felt time being rewritten. Magically the battle reset, his fallen comrades returned to life, but not in a creepy Undead way like Theresa May. He would have to fight the Wood Elves again. And this time they would be crushed.


Battle 1b

Keen not to repeat the mistakes of the last battle Osborne, sent half the Ungor Raiders into ambush the Wood Elves – he expected he'd never see them again, but at least they would be out of the way.

The Razagor thundered up the west flank, the Dryads attempted to charge them, but failed to make the distance and were promptly counter charged by the Razagor. Luck deserted the Dryads as the failed to wound the Razagor and were smashed to matchwood. Osborne laughed at the same joke again. The non-ambushing Ungor Raiders lowered their bows at the Glade Guard, Osborne laughed Ungor were useless – but was shocked to see a Glade Guard fall to a Beastmen bow. In response the Glade Guard shot at the Ungor Raiders killing them all and causing both Tuskgor Chariot to flee in response.

Osborne's laugh vanished as he realised he could be a target for the arrows. He again took refuge in the tower, casting Spirit Leech on the Wood Elf Hero wounding him. The Treekin, accompanied by the Wood Elf Hero on Great Stag, attempt to charge the Minotaurs but fail to make the distance. This allows the Minotaurs to charge them, accompanied by the Razagors in the flank. The Treekin and the Minotaurs exchange and equal number of wounds, the Razagor only able to attack the Hero inflict and impressive 7 wounds, but as the Hero is about to take his last breath a magic trinket around his chest glows absorbing the excess wounds.

Osborne was pleased it was going well, the Tuskgor chariots had rallied and ploughed into the Glade Guard – though one was shot to pieces on the charge, however the Chaos Spawn also ploughed into their flank.

In combat the Minotaurs were killed by the Treekin, but the Hero eventually fell to the Razagor.

Osborne had all but given up hope on the remaining Raiders when they arrived at the rear of the Wood Elf army, to add shock to shock, they then promptly shot one of the Dryads held in reserve. Osborne felt a chance to dominate the Winds of Magic, using Spirit Leech to feel a wounded Treekin before casting Doom and Darkness on the same target to weaken their spirit. It was in vein though as the Razagor were driven off by the Treekin. However the remaining Tuskgor Chariot and Chaos Spawn break and run down the Glade Guard pulping their Elven bodies under hoof and wheel.

The Treekin then charge into the very same chariot, destroying it and forcing the Razagor to flee again. Meanwhile the Dryads took revenge on the Ungor Raiders killing them all. Osborne sensed he was about to lose again, when the Chaos Spawn ambled into the flank of the Treekin. Spotting his chance, he cast Doom and Darkness back on the Treekin. The Treekin are unable to wound on the flailing Spawn, who does one wound in return, combined with the flank charge it's enough to break the Treekin who are rundown by the shambling Chaos monstrosity.

In return the Dryads charge the Spawn in the flank, unable to kill it gives enough time for the rallied Razagor to plough into the Dryads. As sunsets the Spawn is finally killed roaring a cry not of this world. The Razagor and Dryads unable to kill each other.

With most of the Wood Elf army dead Osborne realised he was the victor. He was about to run from the tower and celebrate, when John Terry ran onto the battlefield and started the celebrations himself.

Osborne could feel the familiar forces of time, about to unravel and make him play the battle for the third time – when suddenly a loud bell rang and he could hear the unearthly cry of "Last Orders".

Elsewhere...

Great Bray-Shaman Cameron watched proceedings in his mind, watching the battle unfold. He cursed loudly, how had Osborne fought in two battles and not suffered injury when he had been so badly maimed in the previous encounters? Cameron knew he would have to take Osborne down a peg or two. Cameron was the lead Shaman and Osborne needed to remember this.


Hopefully you managed to keep up there with the exploits of my Beastmen. Today, this very day I'm going to be adding another 400 points to the army and re-fighting the battle! I have the Wood Elves again in Round 2. I'll keep you updated next week – if I get round to writing it all up.

Also probably should show you some newly painted models. Next week... if lethargy doesn't kill me!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on June 07, 2012, 11:05:48 am
So good they played it twice?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 07, 2012, 11:26:07 am
Quote from: Dave on June 07, 2012, 11:05:48 am
So good they played it twice?

We were supposed to play it three times and average results, but it turns out my Warhammer games are like my blog entries... long!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 08, 2012, 09:18:31 am
Update 70 – Friday 8th June 2012: Where's the Jubi-Glee?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DraMattics2.jpg)

In case you've managed to miss all media outlets for the last few weeks, you may have seen all the bunting and incorrectly deduced that the BNP have swept to power and Lenny Henry has been put to death. Don't worry that hasn't happened, it was just the Queen's Diamond Jubilee. Though having seen his performance at the concert I can't guarantee the safety of Lenny Henry.

Yep the Queen has been reigning for 60 years, and as nice touch the flotilla organisers managed to orchestrate the weather so that everyone appreciated what raining for 60 years felt like. Unfortunately the double bank holiday allowed Fearne Cotton to escape from her maximum security prison. Not only was she seen displaying a jubilee-themed sickbag to Paloma Faith, but she also interviewed some World War II veterans. If surviving terrible armed conflict wasn't enough, these people were then forced to endure an interview with the human form of stale candyfloss. All of them remarkably grateful Hitler had never deployed such weapons of evil back in the 40s. We also saw John Barrowman discussing the bells on the Queen's barge and Anneka Rice watching some people painting some awful pictures of the Queen – only to see them destroyed by the typhoon force rain, in what can only be described as a merciful act of God. Based on this last paragraph you may think I didn't watch the coverage of the Jubilee on the television and I made all that up. If only...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DraMattics3.jpg)

Televisual coverage aside, the main problem for me with the Diamond Jubilee is that it's another opportunity for "organised fun" or by that I mean forced fun. I have no problem with the monarchy, Queen, Jubilee or anyone who wants to celebrate it. But like all socially retarded people, I'm never quite sure what to do at these events that are designated "fun". I get the sense that I should be having fun, and that I should be enjoying myself. Yet I can't work out how I'm supposed to enjoy the event, and what I am supposed to be doing. For instance, if I went to the river pageant, what am I supposed to do? It's nice to see all the boats, but I'd be crammed in with a million other people trying to do the same, briefly glimpsing the boats as they sailed past. A bit like being crammed on the Victoria Line trying to crank your neck to see the station sign through the window. Logically it seems a lot more sensible to watch it on television. Apparently you are supposed to "soak up the atmosphere", what the hell does that mean? And how do I do that? Was I off sick the day they taught this skill at school? Judging by the bedraggled spectators on the TV coverage, some people had done a very effective job of soaking up the atmosphere – but I don't think that's what people mean.

I am coming to the conclusion that "soaking up the atmosphere" simply means daytime drinking. All these events are just an excuse to not feel like an alcoholic when you've cracked open a bottle of bubbly at ten to eleven in the morning. Here again I'm left out, because I'm not really a big drinker. I know what you're thinking "with a face like that, how can he not be constantly drinking in a bid to distort the hideous image his brain sees every time he looks in the mirror?" but no I take the hit, I just don't drink very much – and have got used to my own hideous visage. So where is the fun, for those who aren't pi**ed.

There are lots of other events like this that I don't get the point of, New Year, St Patrick's Day, even just a general night out clubbing. They are supposed to be the most fun you can ever have, but essentially they just consist of me not having fun, watching people who are having fun. And not having fun, while watching people having fun is probably the least fun thing of all. I just don't get why they're having fun – it can't just be the drinking.

At least Christmas, they tell you what to do, there's the cards, the decorations, the meal, the family row and the becoming obese because you really felt your family of 4 needed 16 tubes of Pringles. But most of these national events don't come with instructions on how to have fun. I'm never sure what I'm supposed to do, and instead it leaves me feeling rather empty.

Gay Pride is another one of these, I realise technically not a national event – unless you consider me a citizen of Homotopia. Essentially Gay Pride is where gay people all meet up and have a big celebration of the fact they are gay. They do these festivals in every major city up and down the country, even Hull, who knew there was anything to be proud of in Hull? I'm usually dragged to at least one of these events a year, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. People appear to be having fun in all sorts of ways I simply cannot comprehend. All I know is that as a gay man this is supposed to be the most fun day of my life. It isn't. There's some kind of parade full of floats of gay men. I'm worried that these parades are actually Julian Clary's attempt to recreate the Hitler Youth movement, but at least at this point I get what I'm supposed to do – stand there and watch. But then the rest of the day sort of seems to be hanging out in parks or gardens drinking, sort of like being in a very big pub without any tables, chairs, roofs or way of getting easily served – you know all the good things about pubs. Instead you have to be introduced to friends of friends of friends, who you don't really want to meet and pretend to them you're having the best day of your life ever – because "we're soaking up the atmosphere". I just don't understand, what I am supposed to be doing?

With all this in mind, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing for the Jubilee either. At least the Queen was privy to some kind of instructions. I toyed with going down to the river, but that seemed awfully sociable. I was invited to completely ignore the event at a barbecue, but that felt wrong, I felt I should be celebrating the Jubilee. So instead I just sat on my arse and watched it on the telly, a pathetic attempt to be involved in a national celebration of fun. And then was shown news footage up and down the country of all kinds of people having fun. Fun I wasn't having, fun at street parties and on The Mall and in pubs. I didn't understand why what they were doing was fun, but they were having fun. They didn't show any blokes sitting at home, not really having fun because they didn't know how to join in did they?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DraMattics1.jpg)

Oh well, Olympics coming soon. Didn't get any tickets for that... Probably just watch it on telly... Whilst everyone else has fun.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 08, 2012, 01:06:44 pm
Oops, guess she's read the blog:

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/news/a386089/fearne-cotton-grown-men-who-slag-me-off-are-bullies.html (http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/showbiz/news/a386089/fearne-cotton-grown-men-who-slag-me-off-are-bullies.html)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on June 08, 2012, 02:24:49 pm
"Grown men who slag me off in articles/online are huge bullies. I love my job and wouldnt be doing it if i wasnt any good at it. (sic)"
Sadly that just isn't true, time served does not have any relation to anyones ability to do a job.  There are plenty of people I've worked with who are woefully inadequate at what they're doing but you still can't get them fired.  Personally I just don't 'get' fearne, she's a bit excitable but otherwise lacking in any real insight.  Not necessarily a bad thing but not for me, though to be clear it doesn't really make her any different to countless other TV presenters out there.

I went to a jubilee party, it was an excuse to have a barbeque and nothing further.  I spent most of it chatting computer games with a couple of guys who work for Rockstar (get me namedropping famous games companies!).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 08, 2012, 06:59:00 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on June 08, 2012, 09:18:31 am


who knew there was anything to be proud of in Hull?

When I lived there I was told Chlamidya was airborne - a miracle of nature found only in Hull.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 10, 2012, 11:42:36 am
Quote from: roland murat on June 08, 2012, 06:59:00 pm
When I lived there I was told Chlamidya was airborne - a miracle of nature found only in Hull.

Well I was wrong then, that clearly must be what they're celebrating in Hull Pride!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 11, 2012, 07:43:52 am
Update 71 – Monday 11th June 2012: I'm Not a Football Fan Get Me Out of Here

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3822.jpg)

This weekend saw the start of the Footbally Eurovision World Cup Thingy (see I can talk expertly on subjects I don't know about), as Europe gets very excited to see who will win Football trophies when they exclude all the good South American teams who would win them otherwise.

Previously on this blog I have talked at great length about how I don't hate Football, but generally find it easier to say you do to get out of arguments, see Update 5.

Anyway with England's first game tonight, against France (see I know stuff), you may find that you are forced to watch the game against your will, even if you are supposed to be working. For some reason you're allowed time off work to watch England play, but not to watch Cash in the Attic – it hardly seems fair. If you do find yourself in this football watching predicament, here's some my top survival guide to how to get through the game:

1) Don't at any point say "It's Only a Game" – yes, of course it is only a game. But the average football watcher won't take kindly to you pointing out the one thing they've been looking forward to for the last two years, in their otherwise tedious life, is only a game. It's shattering the illusion, like telling small children the tooth fairy isn't real (though arguably less important).

2) If possible avoid watching in a pub. Traditionally football fans prefer the pub environment for games, despite the fact that at home or in the office, you can usually have a chair, drink and actually be able to see the screen. Still the fans will attempt to take you to a pub, where you are only allowed to order drinks during half-time and there's enough testosterone in the room that it's a miracle people aren't asphyxiated.

3) Spend time enjoying seeing your normal friends behave oddly. Perfectly rational people you know, become perfectly irrational watching football at the best of times. When England play all bets are off. People you've known for years will start screaming, swearing and generally behaving madly towards people they've never ever met on the screen. During last World Cup I heard a perfectly a normal neighbour of mine shout "Lampard, you c**t!" at the screen before apologising to his wife and kids, by saying "Sorry, but he is a c**t!". As an added bonus here, you can enjoying the irony of seeing out of shape, un-athletic friends who probably would have heart failure kicking a ball, shout at people in far better health than they are at how bad they are at football. I always laugh, though remember Rule 1, laugh internally!

4) Organise a sweepstake. You might not care about football in the slightest, or about who wins the European Championship. But join an office sweepstake and find yourself swept up in the excitement of all simply because of the promise of being able to win cash. I can find myself cheering for even the most obscure of European nations for the promise of thirty-two quid should I win. Discretion on when to cheer on, may be required if your team is playing England – though you will find it hard to not radiate a glow of smugness should your team knock England out.

5) A good trick if you're fed up of people moaning that you know nothing about football is to memorise a few key facts from a newspaper pull-out. With luck someone will ask you your opinion in an attempt to mock you, and you can reply with the correct answer and wipe that smug look of their face. I'll never forget the time I picked up the cliché "The Spanish team never perform as well as they should on paper", which I regurgitated when asked on this particular team's success. Until this point I believed the phrase "jaw-dropping" was metaphorical. It isn't!

6) Why not set yourself your own spotting challenge to see how many companies have inappropriately and sometimes appalling crudely high-jacked the nation's support of England in a desperate bid to flog more of their unrelated products. This year, this has become a bit harder as the Olympics has stolen the thunder of the European Championship. Although this does add the bonus game of seeing how cunningly some products who haven't paid the Olympics for sponsorship have cleverly embodied the spirit of the Olympics without using the word Olympics. And now I've mentioned "Olympics" three times in one sentence Sebastian Coe will be coming round my house to smash in my kneecaps.

7) If all the above tips don't save you, you can always team up with a similarly unimpressed friend and spend the entire game discussing the most banal of vaguely related football things. If you are going to be made to watch the football against your will, then get your own back, by discussing which team has the nicest socks, which player you think most needs a hug, and which team the person in black is playing for. If you want to go for extra bonus annoying points, start asking football watchers what the rules are, or confound them by trying to get them to explain to you the offside rule in five thousand words or less.

8) Despite all evidence to the contrary England fans will convince themselves that this is England's year, this year England will sweep to victory and "football will come home". It won't, but this won't stop England's fans. I realise optimism to me is a stranger, but this is taking optimism to a whole new cultish level. The fans will charge in regardless, like a hedgehog convinced it can stop that thirty-tonne approaching juggernaut. And when England inevitably crash out, our England fans will be just as crushed as our metaphorical hedgehog. At this point you should avoid all attempts to reason with them, there will be more tears than at an onion chopping convention, England shirts will be burnt in the street, and the St George's Cross bunting and flags will suddenly feel about as appropriate as a Gary Glitter poster in Mothercare. Best thing you can do here is hide. Statements such as "Don't worry there's always the World Cup in 2014" will simply earn you a punch.

9) And if none of these things work, escape while you can. As long as you don't want to go to a pub you'll be surprised how deserted the streets are during an England game. You can get so much done without the tedium of others, shopping, commuting, getting your haircut – there won't even be a queue at the Post Office!
Hopefully this guide will prove of some use, and if not don't worry it will all be over within a fortnight. And very decently England will almost certainly have finished at least a week before this deadline!

Oh and good luck tonight England.



Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on June 11, 2012, 08:19:45 am
Number 8 is so true. Nothing more entertaining than watching England lose, while the fans lose the plot! 1966 was 46 years ago, and it will never happen again... Your team is above average at best, accept that and the beer will taste better and the strokes will come later.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 11, 2012, 09:57:14 am
Quote from: Meals on June 11, 2012, 08:19:45 am
Number 8 is so true. Nothing more entertaining than watching England lose, while the fans lose the plot! 1966 was 46 years ago, and it will never happen again... Your team is above average at best, accept that and the beer will taste better and the strokes will come later.   :thumbsup:

Oh god, it's all kicking off. Don't worry England fans I have your back - where excatly did New Zealand come in the last European Cup?! Hmmm. Not laughing now are you!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on June 11, 2012, 10:18:24 am
Or more importantly did anyone see yesterday's cricket coverage?  It was possibly one of the most astounding bits of sporting achievement I've ever seen.

2 men, 1 ball. (and 11 more standing around mostly watching and a couple of bats and some sticks in the ground).

The West Indian rearguard Denesh Ramdin (who's actually a batsman) and Tino Best (Who's never hit more than 50 in his life) piled on a rather impressive 143 runs with the mighty Mr Best hitting a majestic 95 and in doing so became the all time single inning top scoring number 11 player in cricket.  Safe to say I was massively upset with Mr Strauss when he caught him on that 95, I was so wishing he got his 100 (admittedly his own fault for blazing away at a ball he should have left well alone, but why change what had worked all innings).  That was cricket at it's aboslute finest, the building frustration as england simply couldn't shift him, the shots he was playing were that of a proper batsmen playing in his prime and the pure unbridled joy on his face as he hit record after record shot was a thing of real beauty.

I'm a cricket fan anyway but I challenge anyone to watch than and not appreciate it for being exactly what sports should be about.  It is the strategic challenge of cricket which really gets me interested, the fact that you'll spend a good half hour setting someone up with the same ball over and over with a specific set of the field so that you can then throw a different ball and if they're not paying attention they hit it straight down the throat of that player that has been standing for 30 mins waiting for exactly that moment.  But this wasn't that strategy, this was one man doing something entirely unexpected and with pure joy on his face as he did so.  Simply a wonderful spectacle.
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on June 11, 2012, 10:54:59 am
Entirely agree... It was amazing! Wish Mr Ramdin had keep his illiterate note in his pocket though!!!

Having said that I am pretty excited about the football tonight - I am symptomatic of all of Matt's points about football above (to be fair, Lampard is a c%#t...)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on June 11, 2012, 01:29:41 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on June 11, 2012, 09:57:14 am
Oh god, it's all kicking off. Don't worry England fans I have your back - where excatly did New Zealand come in the last European Cup?! Hmmm. Not laughing now are you!  :wink;m::

Oh well, just like the World Cup, at least we aren't gonna lose in this tournament...  :cool3:

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 11, 2012, 06:02:14 pm
Dave and Steve I fully agree. A cracking innings by the 'keeper and Tino. Shame about the note and it would have been an interesting game if there had been more that a day and half play. (Was it really that dark?)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 13, 2012, 09:08:04 am
Update 72 – Wednesday 13th June 2012: The Hunt is On

Back in Updates 67 and 69, you'll have seen the on-going adventures of the coalition Beastmen army as it fights out in the OG Summer Campaign. This week I had another battle, again against JD's Wood Elves, to fight in the name of Team Evil.

First up I had another 400 points to spend to top up my army, whilst keeping it legal. First step I felt was to add a Battle Standard Bearer – Beastmen leadership is generally about as high as the UK's Eurovision score, so re-rolling those all-important break, panic and Primal Fury tests was vital. I'd still probably fail them twice, but at least it looked like I was trying. So step forward Wargor Hunt, keeping the existing theme. I wanted to equip him with my favourite banner from Warhammer Armies: Beastmen – The Beast Banner, it is 75 points, but +1 Strength for a whole unit is quite useful (Strength 7 Bestigor can make a mess of even Chaos Knights).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3823.jpg)

To make the most of this banner I needed an actual unit for him to deploy in, and with my Core quota now down, I spent the rest of my points on a unit of Beastmen Gor – which I was hoping in later weeks I could expand to a full hoard of 40 Gors, at present I could only afford 22.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3836.jpg)

So the army now looked like this (new units in red):

Bray Shaman Cameron – with Level 2, Chalice of Dark Rain and additional hand weapon (152 Points)

Wargor Hunt, Battle Standard Bearer – with The Beast Banner, great weapon and heavy armour. (193 Points)

5x Ungor Raiders – armed with short bows, with Halfhorn and musician (39 points)

5x Ungor Raiders – armed with short bows, with Halfhorn and musician (39 points)

Tuskgor Chariot – crewed by Gor with spear and Bestigor with great weapon (80 points)

Tuskgor Chariot – crewed by Gor with spear and Bestigor with great weapon (80 points)

22 Gors – armed with hand weapons and shields, with Foe-Renderer, musician and standard bearer (201 points)

3 Minotaurs – armed with light armour and great weapons (189 points)

3 Razagors – (155 points)

Chaos Spawn – (55 points)

TOTAL: 1183 points – Again I couldn't add up my army list correctly, and have 17 points to carry over (thought I only had 7 – else I'd have had two more Gors)!!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3936.jpg)

So there's the army, how would they do in battle? Poorly, probably let's find out. Apologies for the poor photos, but my wedding photographer failed to turn up so I had to use my iPhone.

Tale of Two OG's II – Tales from the Coalition Army: Battle 2

Great Bray-Shaman Cameron was annoyed, the Wood Elves still lived, they would be crushed. And worse still Bray-Shaman Osborne had done better in battle than he had. A plan formed in his mind that would deal with this problem and another. He would send Wargor Hunt his personal Battle Standard Bearer, to battle, the cultured fool had messed up many times in the herd and embarrassed Cameron enough. He would either die in battle or destroy the Wood Elves, either had its advantages. Cameron rubbed his hands with glee.

Battle 2a

Bray Shaman Osborne and Wargor Hunt joined the new unit of Gors, and began the long march towards the Wood Elf lines. Osborne summoned forth the power of the Lore of Death and attempted to Spirit Leech the Wood Elf Noble on Stag, however the power flowed too strongly through Osborne's frame as he miscast the spell. The Wood Elf Noble avoided the effects of the Death Magic, but the massive power caused a Dimensional Cascade to open within the Gor unit, Osborne himself jumped free from the hands pulling him into the Chaos Warp, or Labour party as he referred to it, but 9 Gors and the Foe-Renderer were killed and Osborne was wounded in the resultant explosion.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3790.jpg)

The rest of the Beastmen army advanced towards the Wood Elf lines, as the Ungor Raiders were shot at by the Glade Guard, surprisingly thought Osborne, the Raiders didn't flee.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3791.jpg)

The Beastmen army advanced close to the Wood Elf lines, even the Minotaurs left the cover of the hill behind confident that The Chalice of Dark Rain would help shield them from the worst of the Wood Elves feared archery. Assured he couldn't mess up again, Osborne attempted to cast Spirit Leech again at the Wood Elf Noble on Stag. However again he misjudged the power and miscast the spell, and whilst the Noble again survived the spell a second Dimensional Cascade opened. Whilst Osborne again avoided being pulled in, the resultant explosion killed him and another raft of Gors leaving just 8 of the original 22 alive. Though luckily the nearby Tuskgor Chariot survived the explosion.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3792.jpg)

At this point the large template had, had more use than any model on the table top.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3793.jpg)

The Wood Elves responded with a number of charges, the Dryads charging into the lumbering Spawn, the Treekin accompanied by the Noble on Great Stag failed their charge on the Minotaurs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3795.jpg)

The Wood Elf Spellweaver buffed the unit with a number of Beasts spells, that the Beastmen were unable to counter without a spell caster. And without the Chalice of the Dark Rain the Razagor took a pounding from the Wood Elf archery. In combat the Dryads were too quick for the Spawn inflicting two wounds for the loss of just one Dryad.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3794.jpg)

With limited options available Hunt decided to throw everything he could muster at the Treekin, despite the buffs from the Lore of the Beasts, the Minotaurs, remaining Gors led by Hunt and the Razagor declared a charge on the Treekin. Hunt said some words that rhymed with his name, as the Razagor failed to make the distance.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3796.jpg)

The Tuskgor Chariot meanwhile was unable to join the fray due to presence of a Great Eagle which looked suspiciously like a Goose. So it charged that instead. In combat the Tuskgor Chariot ran the Goose down inflicting 6 impact hits and scrapping the Goose Liver paté off its wheels.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3797.jpg)

Hunt's initial cheers were short-lived however, as the other combats do not go so well. The Dryads killed the Chaos Spawn, and reformed to face the victorious Tuskgor Chariot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3798.jpg)

Elsewhere the Treekin killed all the Gors and Hunt, the Minotaurs panicked by the loss of their brethren also fled, only to be rundown by the Treekin

The Wood Elves turned their attention on the remainder of the Beastmen army, the Razagor were heavily wounded by Wood Elf archery, and the victorious Tuskgor Chariot is rundown after trying to flee the Drayds.

With only a token number of Beastmen forces left on the battlefield, the second Tuskgor Chariot finally made it to the rear of the Wood Elf lines only to be shot by the quickly reforming Glade Guard.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3799.jpg)

All that remained were five Ungor Raiders who had also snuck behind the Wood Elf lines, they spotted a chance to charge the Glade Guard led by the Spell Weaver in the rear, perhaps luck would favour them and they could kill the Weaver earning some valuable retribution for the Elves. However they failed the charge and were shot by the Glade Guard.


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3800.jpg)

So that was a bit of a disaster, every Beastmen lay dead in return all I had killed was two Glade Guard (through Ungor shooting), a Dryad (from the Spawn) and the Great Eagle (from the Chariot). In fact I'm not sure I remember a worse set of victory points against me!!

Battle 2b

As last week, the battle was to be played twice and the points averaged. I was confident that it would be virtually impossible to do worse than last time... was this confidence misplaced?

Osborne and Hunt decided that a different tactic was required for this battle, the Ungor Raiders and the Chaos Spawn were deployed to hold up the west flank, whilst the bulk of the coalition's forces went on the east flank.

The two forces moved towards each other, with the Razagor taking a wide flanking manoeuvre to get behind the Wood Elf lines.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3801.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3802.jpg)

With the Beastmen army encircling the foe, the Wood Elves attempted to take the initiative. The Treekin charged a Tuskgor Chariot which fled taking a wound as it ploughed through  a wall.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3805.jpg)

The Treekin then redirected onto the large Gor block – which was mainly intact as Hunt had forbidden Osborne from casting any spells. The Dryads also declared a charge on the same target, however the Treekin failed to make the distance leaving the Dryads on their own to face the Gors.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3803.jpg)

In order to help out the stranded Treekin, the Glade Guard poured arrows into the Minotaurs, two of them dieing spite of the presence of the Chalice of Dark Rain. Osborne cursed loudly!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3806.jpg)

In a repeat of the previous battle, the second unit of Dryads charged the Chaos Spawn again causing two wounds.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3804.jpg)

The other unit of Dryads spectacularly failed to do many wounds to the Gor unit and suffered badly to the enhanced strength of the Gor block, with Osborne and Hunt gleefully cutting down some trees – they liked cuts. The Dryads fled only to be rundown by the Gors.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3807.jpg)

Osborne ordered the Beastmen to take the fight to the Wood Elves now, the Razagor were blocked by the Great Goose so charged that instead. Whilst the remaining Minotaur, second Tuskgor Chariot and Gor block all piled into the Treekin.

The Razagor performed appalling against the Great Goose inflicting just a single wound in return for a wound back.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3808.jpg)

Despite only a single impact hit against the Treekin from the Chariot, Osborne and Hunt led the Gors well against the Treekin. Although the Noble pierced Osborne's heart, the withered Beastmen perishing with a scream. But it wasn't enough as the Treekin fled. Hunt, confident the Tuskgor Chariot would catch the Treekin reformed the Gor to face the Glade Guard, but was disappointed when the Treekin escaped the Chariot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3809.jpg)

However it wasn't all lost as the Treekin failed to rally and fled the battlefield. The Dryads, who had finally dispatched the Spawn, charged at the Ungor Raiders sending them fleeing from the trees.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3810.jpg)

Meanwhile the Razagor finally killed the Great Goose, they then charged the Glade Guard, who have just been deserted by the Spell Weaver.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3811.jpg)

The second unit of Glade Guard were charged by the other Tuskgor Chariot, sensing their doom they fled but were unable to outpace the chariot and were all crushed. In a repeat of last turn the charging Razgor only managed to kill a single Glade Guard! Hunt would be stopping their feed, back at the camp.

The last turns saw the remaining Glade Guard finished off by the Razagor, and night fell as the Beastmen army played a game of cat and mouse with the Spell Weaver never quite catching her.


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3812.jpg)

So the second round is over, and again it's one win and one loss to the Beastmen – which concerns me as from next week we go to only one game a week and I always seem to lose the first game!!! Oh well.

Dreadfleet Painting
Last week I promised I'd leave you with some painting, so after a break of several months I finally got round to painting up some more ships from the Dreadfleet set. Shocking I know!! Anyway first up it's The Flaming Scimitar – this is an Arabaian ship where various elementals can be summoned to support the ship. The Water Elementals (seen just emerging from the waves in case you were looking for them, can freeze to repair the hull), the Fire Elemental does damage in combat and the Air Elemental inflates the sails allowing the ship to move faster. As with the other ships I've painted (Updates 51 & 54) the matching Cog (small ship) in the same way as its parent ship:

Stage 1 – The Flaming Scimitar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3813.jpg)

Air Djinn: Astronomacian Grey
Fire Efreet: Macharius Solar Orange
Lower Hull/Deck/Masts: Calthan Brown
Upper Hull/Walls: Liche Purple
Sails: Vomit Brown
Sea: Regal Blue


Stage 2 – The Flaming Scimitar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3814.jpg)

Air Djinn: Wash watered down Shadow Grey
Fire Efreet: Wash Baal Red
Lower Hull/Deck/Masts: Wash Devlan Mud
Upper Hull/Walls: Wash Leviathan Purple
Sails: Layer 1:1 Vomit Brown/Bleached Bone
Sea: Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Rope: Scorched Brown
Roof/Hull Detail: Tin Bitz
Sail Metal Detail: Tin Bitz
Sail Flame Detail: Mecharius Solar Orange
Sail Air Detail: Astronomacian Grey
Sail Water Detail: Regal Blue
Cannons: Bolt Gun Metal


Stage 3 – The Flaming Scimitar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3815.jpg)

Air Djinn: Layer Astronomacian Grey
Fire Efreet: Layer 1:1 Mecharius Solar Orange/Golden Yellow
Lower Hull/Deck/Masts: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Upper Hull/Walls: Highlight 1:1 Liche Purple/Warlock Purple
Sails: Highlight Bleached Bone
Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Rope: Wash Badab Black
Roof/Hull Detail: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Bronze/Tin Bitz
Sail Metal Detail: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Bronze/Tin Bitz
Sail Flame Detail: Wash Baal Red then Layer 1:1 Mecharius Solar Orange/Golden Yellow
Sail Air Detail: Wash watered down Shadow Grey then layer Astronomacian Grey
Sail Water Detail: Layer Enchanted Blue then layer Ice Blue
Cannons: Wash Badab Black


Stage 4 – The Flaming Scimitar

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3682.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3687.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3689.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3695.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3698.jpg)

Air Djinn: Highlight Skull White
Fire Efreet: Highlight Sunburst Yellow
Lower Hull/Deck/Masts: DONE
Upper Hull/Walls: DONE
Sails: Highlight Skull White
Sea: Wash 1:1 Tharaka Green/Badab Black then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White
Rope: Highlight Beastial Brown
Roof/Hull Detail: Wash with Devlan Mud then highlight with Mithril Silver
Sail Metal Detail: Wash with Devlan Mud then highlight with Mithril Silver
Sail Flame Detail: Highlight Sunburst Yellow
Sail Air Detail: Highlight Skull White
Sail Water Detail: Highlight Skull White
Cannons: Highlight Chainmail


The Shadewraith is a ghost ship, crewed by the damned souls, so repellent are they that the sea even recoils from them (we've all had that dating experience) leaving the incorporeal ship floating on a cloud of ghosts. This ship has no cog – don't ask me I didn't make the rules!

Stage 1 – The Shadewraith

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3816.jpg)

Ship: Astronomacian Grey
Torch Flame: Astronomacian Grey
Sea: Regal Blue


Stage 2 – The Shadewraith

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3817.jpg)

Ship: Wash Thraka Green
Torch Flame: Wash Thraka Greeb
Sea: Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Seaweed: Paint Scorched Brown


Stage 3 – The Shadewraith

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3818.jpg)

Ship: Layer Astronomacian Grey
Torch Flame: Wash watered down 1:1 Scorpion Green/Tharaka Green, highlight Astronomacian Grey
Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Seaweed: Wash Badab Black


Stage 4 – The Shadewraith

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3705.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3707.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3711.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3714.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3715.jpg)

Ship: Wash random patches of watered down 1:1 Tharaka Green/Scorpion Green then highlight Skull White
Torch Flame: Wash recesses 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green
Sea: Wash 1:1 Badab Black/Tharaka Green then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White
Seaweed: DONE


And because there was no cog to paint up with The Shadewraith (plus it was quite a simple paint scheme), I also painted up the three sea monsters that came with the game, they are similar colours after all:

Stage 1 – Sea Monsters

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3819.jpg)

Bone Hydra

Hydra: Dheneb Stone
Tongue: Liche Purple
Sea: Regal Blue
Mast: Khemri Brown
Sail: 1:1 Mercherite Red/Blood Red


Ghost Stage

Body: Astronomacian Grey
Sea: Regal Blue


Bone Serpent

Bone: Dheneb Stone
Skin: Dheneb Stone
Tendrils: Merchertie Red
Sea: Regal Blue


Stage 2 – Sea Monsters

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3820.jpg)

Bone Hydra

Hydra: Wash Devlan Mud
Tongue: Layer 1:1 Warlock Purple/Liche Purple
Sea: Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Mast: Layer Kommando Khaki
Sail: Wash Devlan Mud in recesses
Seaweed: Scorched Brown
Sail Rings: Boltgun Metal


Ghost Stage

Body: Wash Thraka Green
Sea: Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Seaweed: Scorched Brown


Bone Serpent

Bone: Wash Devlan Mud
Skin: Wash 1:1 Ogryn Flesh/Leviathan Purple
Tendrils: Wash 1:1 Devlan Mud/Baal Red
Sea: Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Seaweed: Scorched Brown


Stage 3 – Sea Monsters

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3821.jpg)

Bone Hydra

Hydra: Highlight Bleached Bone
Tongue: Highlight Warlock Purple
Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Mast: Layer Bleached Bone
Sail: Highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Seaweed: Layer Dark Angels Green
Sail Rings: Wash Badab Black


Ghost

Body: Layer watered down Astronomacian Grey
Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Seaweed: Layer Dark Angels Green


Bone Serpent

Bone: Highlight Bleached Bone
Skin: Layer watered down Fortress Grey
Tendrils: Layer 1:1 Merchrite Red/Blood Red
Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Seaweed: Layer Dark Angels Green


Stage 4 – Sea Monsters

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3719.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3723.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3728.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3731.jpg)

Bone Hydra

Hydra: Highlight Skull White
Tongue: Highlight Tentacle Pink
Sea: Wash 1:1 Badab Black/Tharaka Green then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White
Sail: Highlight Vomit Brown
Mast: DONE
Seaweed: Highlight 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green
Sail Rings: Highlight Chainmail


Ghost

Body: Highlight Skull White
Sea: Wash 1:1 Tharaka Green/Badab Black then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White
Seaweed: Highlight 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green


Bone Serpent

Bone: Highlight Skull White
Skin: Highlight Skull White
Tendrils: Highlight Kommando Khaki then wash Baal Red
Sea: Wash 1:1 Badab Black/Tharaka Green then highlight wave crests with watered down Skull White
Seaweed: Highlight 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green


Wow! That was a lot, what a busy old week. Next week I should (touch wood) be back with some High Elves for you to enjoy. Sit tight.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on June 13, 2012, 01:25:03 pm
Have you read the rules for Dreadfleet yet buddy?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 13, 2012, 03:01:47 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on June 13, 2012, 01:25:03 pm
Have you read the rules for Dreadfleet yet buddy?

A while ago, when I first get the game. I imagine they'll all be painted around 2015 when I can have a game!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 20, 2012, 08:43:59 am
Update 73 – Wednesday 20th June 2012: You Can with the Dukan

Apologies if you've had the misfortune of speaking to me in the last couple of months, because I have officially turned into one of those people. Yeah I've started doing a "fad" diet and it is now all I can talk about, all I can tell you is what I can eat, what I am going to eat, how much weight I've lost, how much weight I have to lose and how regular my bowels are. Though in fairness I always talk about how regular my bowels are so you probably haven't noticed the difference! So far I've managed to keep diet talk off this blog, but no more I must break free and speak my mind, as I have nothing else to talk about. Though I am hoping that I will contain all the diet talk in one blog-sized burst and not bore you incessantly for weeks to come. But apologies if this article does read like a copy of Woman's Own.

Google any fad diet and you'll find articles about how it does work, how it doesn't work, how it will give you cancer and how it is responsible for the death of Diana, Princess of Wales – but then that's your own fault for reading the Daily Express' website. The diet I chose to embark upon is called the Dukan diet, named after its French creator Dr Dukan, and not chosen for some clever alliterative pun such as the one I have used to name this blog entry. Though that is helpful.

I embarked on the Dukan lifestyle, as he likes to refer it (lifestyle being that you can now only talk about dieting and annoy waiters by asking for special things from the menu), after seeing a colleague at work follow the same plan and rapidly disappear in front of my very eyes. Now I know I am hardly obese (don't disagree that's rude). I haven't had to be taken to London Zoo's elephant house to be weighed, I don't have to be positioned correctly on a plane in order to keep the plane aerodynamic nor do I need to be hoisted out of a Piccadilly line carriage chair at the end of my daily commute. Though sadly that last statement is only true because I live on the Northern line. However, I have noticed a little bit of tummy, an annoying bit that even with a token amount of exercise and broadly healthy eating won't go away. Every now and again it occasionally grows, at Christmas or bingey weekends, like a plant you occasionally get round to watering. Given enough time and slices of cake my tummy was sure to develop its own postcode if left unchecked. And with the recent 30th anniversary celebrations of my birth I felt now was the time to get in check before middle-aged spread, like a virulent fungal infection, took hold. Also I've never really felt comfortable being topless anywhere, I don't look obese but if I lie down people have mistaken my belly for a speed hump. When I tend to get changed for swimming I find myself holding a towel around at nipple height to cover my modesty, like a pregnant women. But enough was enough, no more would I be ashamed of my body it was time for a change.

This is the book I've been using:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4030.jpg)

It looks lovely and fluffy on the outside, but the inside is like the culinary edition of Mein Kampf a strict list of rules and regulations that need to be adhered to in order to achieve weight loss. Dr Dukan takes great pleasure in reminding you every step of the way that even one false move will result in you being a fat bastard.

I'll give you a quick overview of how the diet works, but on a serious note (for once) if you are following any weight loss plan make sure you do it sensibly and check you are following all the rules. Don't just follow some half-baked summary some idiot has written on a blog – get what I mean? Good, now I've finished being your disapproving mother I can get on.
Dukan is primarily a high protein diet, by feeding your body just protein it's forced to raid its fat stores to supplement your carbohydrate and sugar deficiency – like a crooked builder raiding a pensioner's bank account. The diet is broken up into phases, Phase 1 is called The Attack Phase, this doesn't involve any attacking, unless you actually unleash the pent up rage you will find quickly builds up against Dr Dukan when you've been following the diet for any length of time. In Phase 1 you can only eat lean proteins (poultry, lean beef or ham, fish, eggs etc.), 0% fat dairy products (skimmed milk, yoghurts, cottage cheese etc.) and a few selected condiments, and that is it. Drinks can only be coffee or tea (skimmed milk and sweetener only), non-fruit based diet fizzy drinks, water and skimmed milk. Sounds about as an appetising as a bowl of sawdust!

Here's a typical meal from Dukan Day 1:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4023.jpg)

Personally I don't find anything on that list actually disgusting. The main problem, I found, is what your tummy craves that it can't have rather than having to eat horrid things. Though saying that mention "cottage cheese" enough and bystanders do seem to have a terrible affliction where they spontaneously projectile vomit in your face. And I soon learnt that bringing prawns into the office was about as welcome, with my colleagues, as if I'd brought a plague of locusts in, or turned up for the day with the rotting corpse of Bernard Manning.

Another delightful meal was this one, which I arranged into the shape of a bearded face simply to add some excitement to dinner:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4026.jpg)

During Phase 1 you can eat as much of the above foods as you like, but only them. This is a rapid weight loss phase, I lost 2kgs (4lbs) in just three days, this weight lost I suspect was almost entirely made up of taste buds jumping off my tongue in a bid to kill themselves.
However this phase is only a temporary phase, up to a week and then you have to move to Phase 2, or you will die (possibly – almost certainly from taste boredom).

I found Day 1 of the Phase 1 wasn't too bad, I was detoxing from the 40kgs of birthday cake I gorged on the day before. By Day 2 I wanted to kill people, slowly and painfully. Day 2 was awful and there was lots of grumpiness (apologies to those in the office that day). By Day 4 the worst was over my stomach surrendered even if now again I would start hallucinating about chocolate and pizza.

The Dukan book helpfully provides some recipes for this stage to turn the bland range of foods into a selection of bland meals.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4031.jpg)

Unfortunately the quantities in the book are absolutely mad, the very first recipe is for a selection of salmon voul-a-vents (without any pastry!), that serve 50. Fifty!!! I am not organising a f**king Dukan dinner party, why would I want 50 of the bloody things. It's as if Dukan himself knows that anyone on the diet would have to instantly form some kind of group therapy organisation to get through it, and of course there'd need to be catering.

I made one recipe in this phase, this was these Mint Mousses:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4025.jpg)

It was primarily fat-free fromage frais, mixed with sweetener, green food colouring and peppermint flavouring. And tasted like you'd accidentally inhaled the contents of a dentist's hoover bag. It had the consistency and flavour of what you spit out of your mouth when brushing your teeth. No matter how bored I was of fat free vanilla yoghurts I never became so bored that I had a second one of these, and most of the contents of the above photo went in the bin (except the ramekins which have to be destroyed).

There was a depressing point in Phase 1 where I started getting jealous of what I was feeding the plants!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4024.jpg)

After a few days you advance to Phase 2 – The Cruise Phase. In order to stop your gastric system completely collapsing, Phase 2 alternates the protein days from Phase 1 with days where you can add in most vegetables and a few more condiments. As long as you do the same number of protein days as protein and veg days you're fine, so you can do this in any combination you like. Given that protein and veg days are a little easy to do when eating with friends or being cooked for by other people, I tended to mix up the pattern to get the protein and veg days to fall favourably.

By the time you get to Phase 2 you'll be craving a lettuce leaf, your body will want anything to add to its restricted menu. I had a particular lust for cherry tomatoes that was happily filled in Phase 2. I found the protein & veg days so much more tolerable than the protein only days.

At this point the Dukan book happily provides some top tips to get you through the challenging times. First tip is that it's really easy to order off a restaurant menu on Phase 2. Just choose something like salmon or an omelette or a salad and avoid dessert. Dukan is lying. It's bloody impossible to find any menus you can eat anything off. I looked through five before going out for a meal with friends, pretty much every salad required four things to be taken off – breadsticks, oil, cheese, avocado etc. By the time I'd gone through all those changes with any waitress she'd already start lining up a massive turd to drop into my dinner. I found that the simplest thing to order, in terms of least changes, was to go to Pizza Express and order the Goat's Cheese Salad – without any Goat's Cheese. Which is about as exciting as rushing out and buying a brand new games console, without buying any games for it.

His next top tip, is if you wish to avoid the embarrassment of explaining to family members your new diet. Then just dip pieces of chicken in your boiled egg instead of toast soldiers, they'll never know. Really?! How much does Dukan think toast and cooked chicken look the same? Or how far away does he think family members sit at the breakfast table? Is there about 100 meters distance between the chairs in his dining room, strategically placed so no one can clearly identify the foods going into their fellow diner's mouths? Of course your family will notice, they probably won't mention it in front of you. Mainly because they'll be discussing the fact that you madly started dipping bits of chicken in your boiled egg, behind your back for fear that any moment you're going to crack and start killing them. Even if your family did fall for your rouse, and believed the chicken you were dipping in your egg was toast, that's the only "secret" meal Dukan recommends. After how many meals of just boiled eggs and toast do you think your family will think you've gone bloody mad anyway?

Another problem is Dukan isn't really very portable. Eating on the move doesn't really work as meats and dairy products aren't really that travel friendly. Recently I went on a week filming with work, where I was on the road all day and found that while the crew were sitting eating lunch in a pub I was sat in the van in the pub car park eating luke warm vanilla yogurt and fish sticks. A more tragic site could not be imagined, well not without the death of a well-loved family pet or the cancellation of The Apprentice or something.

That said Dukan is an effective diet, after the first month I lost an impressive 7kgs (15lbs), and a large number of invites to dinners out – which for the social reclusive like me, can only be a good thing! I've tried a couple of Dukan's other recipes namely the Iced Chocolate Soufflé and the Tofu Choc Cream, and they're ok. Don't get me wrong they're not amazing chocolate desserts, if you went to Hotel Chocolait and got those, you'd piss in the shop assistant's face in disgust. But when your taste buds are crying out for variation and new flavours they seem to do the job. If you're wondering how they can be on the list, they're primarily made with zero fat fromage frais, egg whites and a low fat cocoa powder. In fact the whole dessert is so low fat, it's like the anti-matter version of Vanessa Feltz, put them in the same room and the resultant explosion will destroy of all BBC London Radio station. Which isn't necessarily the worst idea ever?

After 50 days I lost a total of 11 kgs (or 24 lbs) and reached my final target weight, a healthy slim Matty not afraid to bare his new svelte chest – though don't worry I won't be doing it in the office or on the Underground or anything. From my experience Dukan worked for me, if you can put up with the tough rules, and the taste boredom oh and the bad breath – ketosis takes hold in the first week and if you don't use regular mouth wash your breath could be used to cut through steel. I'm now in Stage 3: Consolidation, where I start introducing normal foods again slowly, so I don't balloon up instantly like the deployment of a car airbag. I am allowed things like cheese and bread again, which when you've not had anything tasty for 50 days is amazing:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4027.jpg)

Most excitingly I can have two "Celebration Meals" a week where I can eat anything I like – as long as I don't go silly with quantities.

For my first free choice meal I had this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4028.jpg)

Followed by this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4029.jpg)

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Finally I'll be back to a normal diet after this phase, and hopefully I'll never need to write another blog about tedious dieting. And if you're lucky you'll never need to read another blog about tedious dieting!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on June 20, 2012, 10:53:40 am
A recipe I was recommended is 1 tub of quark, 1 sachet of Options Chocolate powder (Orange is best).  Stir.  Eat.  (optional extra step: Hate self.)  It's like a gritty chocolate mousse but fits with the rules for most high protein diets. 

(1) I thought quark was something science-y. 
(2) the chap who recommended it truly believed it was nice.  THAT is the hidden health risk of all those fad diets, they warp you until you actually think a cream cheese and hot chocolate drink sachet make something on a par with a mint aero/chocolate orange.  Insanity.

Congrats on the weight loss though!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on June 20, 2012, 12:16:46 pm
Jebus, 11kg in 50 days is fraking impressive! grats mate.

Gotta say though, I personally can't understand why people need these fad diets... (though it worked for you so feel free to ignore me here)  I lost 8 kgs in the 2 years I was in London, despite drinking 3-4 nights a week and eating takeaways pretty much every other day. Active job + exercise = win!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on June 20, 2012, 02:21:27 pm
Well done mate. I've been (probably) boring everyone by going to the gym to get fit. If you do the right kind of exercise and know a few. Bits and prices then that's the best way.
For example, London water has a stupidly high oestrogen content. High oestrogen means you store fat on your legs and chest. Bottled water= problem eliminated.

The other big one is stress. Your body's response to stress is to produce cortisol, people with too much cortisol have a very distinct appearance. Moon face, buffalo hump, central obesity and proximal muscle wasting (its a disease called Cushings). So stress makes you put on a gut. Now everyone gets in situations that are stressful, but if you can cope with them without getting pent up then you don't produce cortisol, therefore don't get as fat!

Handy advice from those trained in the medical professions there. That's actual proper doctors, not GPs...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 20, 2012, 06:59:50 pm
...and to think I thought stress helped you lose weight. No time to eat and charging round the office like a loon obviously doesn't work.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on June 20, 2012, 07:08:03 pm
not eating sends you into a starvation state, which means you actually put on weight as well.
so you need to eat, but do so properly!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 20, 2012, 11:10:06 pm
Wow! I never thought a dieting blog would get so much response! Have to start giving regular tips on that rather than painting! Thanks for all the congrats!

Quote from: TkaiC on June 20, 2012, 10:53:40 am
A recipe I was recommended is 1 tub of quark, 1 sachet of Options Chocolate powder (Orange is best).  Stir.  Eat.  (optional extra step: Hate self.)  It's like a gritty chocolate mousse but fits with the rules for most high protein diets. 

This sounds vile, much like my current food intake. Self-hate is never an option for me.

Quote from: Meals on June 20, 2012, 12:16:46 pm
Gotta say though, I personally can't understand why people need these fad diets... (though it worked for you so feel free to ignore me here)  I lost 8 kgs in the 2 years I was in London, despite drinking 3-4 nights a week and eating takeaways pretty much every other day. Active job + exercise = win!

I always used to hate fad diets, but found my real lack of enthusiasms for hard core exercise, plus a bit of age, mean that while I can stay at a weight with reasonable exercise, I can't get to a good weight. Hence this. Guess different things work for everyone.

Quote from: noahtonkin on June 20, 2012, 02:21:27 pm
For example, London water has a stupidly high oestrogen content.

Does this explain why I fancy men then?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 21, 2012, 07:49:21 am
Update 74 – Thursday 21st June 2012: Procrastination by Numbers gets Saucy!

Warning this blog features unacceptable levels of nudity.

Yeah you read the title right this week, this week Procrastination by Numbers is getting saucy! And I'm not talking this kind of sauce...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4034.jpg)

Nor am I talking about painting Witch Elves or Slaanesh Daemons. And before you ask I am not talking about the new Citadel Colour Paints Kinky Pink, Erotica Brown and Chlamydia Green – for legal reasons I should point out these colours don't exist (though who would be brave enough not to wash their hands after using Chlamydia Green?).

Nope this week I am talking all about striping!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4033.jpg)

Urrrghhhh what a sight!!!! Put it away, put it away!

Before this week's blog turns into Carry on Painting, I should point out that I am of course referring to the stripping of models, as you will probably be relieved to know. Unless of course that last photo did something for you, a stirring in the old nether regions – go on you know it did. If so you may enjoy this picture the resident five year old artist drew of me posing for that shot:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4032.jpg)

What I can say it's to scale, I'm a lucky boy. And that welcome to return to the resident five-year old artist has been marred by the fact that she's now had to go into therapy for a long time.

It's at this point I realise I'm going mad, I've written utter made up drivelling bollo**s which implies I've been showing my genitalia to a fictitious five year old child, so I should probably move on before social services come round.

So why, other than to move on this odd conversation, would you want to strip models? Surely you love your beautiful paintwork? Well perhaps you've inherited these models from a friend, eBay or a long lost relative whose passed away leaving a strange collection of butt plugs which would make excellent Dwarf Rangers? Could happen! Or perhaps you've just mucked up some painting or fancy a refresh.

Back in the dim distant mists of times, when the only odd thing about Simon Cowell was his trouser line and EastEnders was only on Mondays and Thursdays, I decided to paint up my 4th edition High Elves. This was before I'd really learnt to paint and just simply slapped on base colours. Being a long time ago, around the early 90s, we'd only just discovered colour (until 1989 the actual world was in black and white – colour had to be added into old TV footage), so to make the most of this new discovery all Warhammer models were painted garishly in a complete mockery of reason or rhyme. I was the same and decided bright blue, yellow and red would be perfect for my High Elves – how I've changed?!?

Any who, I was rummaging through a box of old High Elves and found these old chaps and thought they'd make a good addition to my current army:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3558.jpg)

As you can see they are poorly coated in paint, much like a Turner Prize entrant, so I decided to strip the paint off these guys and add them to my modern army. To strip your models you'll need to use some Gentlemen's Nail Polish Remover, which I didn't have already lying around the bathroom honest. Here's a picture of such a bottle should you not have one in your bathroom:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3563.jpg)

An important point here if you are stripping metal models you need to use Nail Polish Remover with Acetone, if you are stripping plastic models you need to use Acetone-Free Nail Polish Remover, because Acetone dissolves plastic – but it's perfectly safe to put on your fingers ladies (really? Sure?).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3567.jpg)

Baring in mind this important information I chose just to strip my metal models. I was going to rebase the Spearmen command anyway, so I simply broke them off the plastic bases. I then put them all in a bath of nail polish remover:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3570.jpg)

I used the lid of a Citadel Spray Can for my bath, you could use anything similar like an old yogurt pot or your wives' favourite wine glass – then just tell her it's gin when you've finished. A word of warning here, a pot of Nail Polish stinks, so you may want to do this in another room.

Unfortunately the nail varnish won't act like kettle descaler and simply vaporize the paint! Dependent on how long ago the models were painted, how much varnish was used, and the phases of the Moon, will depend on how easy it is to strip the paint. Given the Berlin Wall was still standing when these were painted it wasn't going to be any easy task stripping them, and I was forced to attack them with this toothbrush. You can use an old toothbrush or if like normal people you throw away old toothbrushes and don't have them to hand, you could buy a cheap one. I got a pack of two value toothbrushes from Sainsbury's for just 10 pence! That's right five pence a toothbrush! How on earth is it possible to make a toothbrush for five pence? And who on earth would stick anything that cheap in their mouth? Oh wait a minute I think I did once, knew I shouldn't have gone dogging on Gran Canaria.

After some vigorous brushing, and be careful here as I broke some fragile swords, I'd managed to scrub some of the outer paint away. At this point re-dip in the nail varnish to give it a chance to attack the newly exposed paint surface. Eventually after about as much vigorous wrist action as the average fifteen year old boy's bedroom, you should have something like this.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3586.jpg)

Ok so there were a few specs of paint left, but to be honest I'd ran out of energy at this point!

Undercoat them with the usual Chaos Black Spray paint and then you are ready to go. I'm sure they are more useful stripping tips. But that's all I've got. Reply with them all now and we can form a hot bed of knowledge!

Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves

Back in Update 65, I showed you my High Elf army as it currently stands and how close I was to finishing. Well a burst of Jubilee weekend painting meant that virtually all the rank and file troops have been ticked off the to-do list.

First up were my unit of Spearmen, you may be wondering why when I already have 50 High Elf Spearmen I need another unit. Well I grant you I don't, but they were effectively free in my High Elf Mega Army box set so it seemed a shame to waste them.

Now I was never going to convert all these models, but I wanted the unit to look a little different from the other Spearmen – at least on the face of it, for that initial look. So unlike my other Spearmen I kept all the spears vertical, as if the unit was marching, rather than having them lowered as if receiving a charge. I also added in a classic metal command group, the one shown above. Additionally I painted the shields with a blue base colour, rather than my usual white. And of course I swapped the yellow and blue accent colours that I usually do. Here's the original unit of 50:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1555.jpg)

And here's the new unit, which hopefully you'll agree looks at least a little distinct at first glance?!:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3842.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3843.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3854.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3858.jpg)

And I don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but I think the command group look a little bit here than they did previously?!

If you are one of the few people who likes the painting guides, then you can see the Spearmen Guide in Updates 24, 26, 28 & 30 (though some of the accent colours have been swapped).

To finish off the High Elf Mega Army (box from Games Workshop), I also painted up 5 more Dragon Princes, other than using than the alternate champion pieces, I swapped the yellow and blue, and some of the gold and silver colouring from the original unit (shown here):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2802.jpg)

So here are the new five, and I don't think they look too bad with the silver head pieces:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3863.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3872.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3874.jpg)

The banner is a free hand design of my own, hope it doesn't look too cartoonish:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3883.jpg)

Again there's a painting guide for these across Updates 44, 47 & 54, though some of the colours have again been swapped!

I've also added 12 Lothern Sea Guard, to my unit of 18, to make a chunky unit of 30:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3892.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3895.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3902.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3907.jpg)

To the one painting guide fan out there, here's how they were done:

Stage 1: Lothern Sea Guard

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog057.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
Robes and Shield: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Armour Edging: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Spear and Bow: Khemri Brown
Dragon: Mechrite Red
Sea: 1:1:1 Chaos Black/Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Hair: Vomit Brown or Dheneb Stone or Calthan Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Pennants and Arrow Quivers: Iyanden Dark Sun
Seaweed: Dark Angels Green
Shells: Dheneb Stone


Stage 2: Lothern Sea Guard

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog077.jpg)
Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Wash with Badab Black
Robes and Shield: Layered with 1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Armour Edging: Layered with Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash with Badab Black
Spear and Bow: Layered with Graveyard Earth
Dragon: Layered with Blood Red
Sea: Layered at top, and waves painted lower down with 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green
Gold Metal: Basecoated (over the Tin Bitz) with Shining Gold
Hair: Vomit Brown – washed with Ogryn Flesh. Dheneb Stone – washed with Badab Black. Calthan Brown – washed with Badab Black
Flesh: Layered with Elf Flesh
Pennants and Arrow Quivers: Layered with Golden Yellow
Seaweed: Layered with 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green
Shells: Layered with Bleached Bone


Stage 3: Lothern Sea Guard

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog098.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Highlighted with Beastial Brown
Robes and Shield: Layered with Skull White, sometimes a second coat used for good coverage especially on large areas.
Armour Edging: Highlighted with 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlighted with Mithril Silver
Spear and Bow: Layered with watered down Bleached Bone (to give a uneven wood grain effect)
Dragon: Highlighted with Blazing Orange, then with Vomit Brown.
Sea: Layered at top most and on waves with 1:1:1 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green/Space Wolves Grey
Gold Metal: Washed with Gryphonne Sepia
Hair: Vomit Brown – highlighted with Vomit Brown. Dheneb Stone – highlighted with Bleached Bone. Calthan Brown – highlighted with Snakebite Leather
Flesh: Washed with watered down Ogryn Flesh
Pennants and Arrow Quivers: Layered with Sunburst Yellow
Seaweed: Layered with 1:1:1 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green/Bleached Bone
Shells: Highlighted with Skull White


Stage 4: Lothern Sea Guard

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog214.jpg)
Base: Drybrush with Bleached Bone then flock with Glade Grass
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Robes and Shield: Further layering of Skull White on central areas
Armour Edging: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Spear and Bow: *NO CHANGE*
Dragon: Wash with Baal Red
Sea: Highlight uppermost waves with 1:1:3 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green/Space Wolves Grey
Gold Metal: Highlight with 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Hair: Vomit Brown – highlighted with Bleached Bone. Dheneb Stone – highlighted with Skull White. Calthan Brown – highlighted with Bubonic Brown
Flesh: *NO CHANGE*
Pennants and Arrow Quivers: Wash with Ogryn Flesh highlight with Bad Moon Yellow
Seaweed: Layered with 1:1:3 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green/Bleached Bone
Shells: Wash in recess with 1:1 Asurmen Blue/Thraka Green, then wash all over with a very watered down Mithril Silver


To go with them were 7 Swordmasters of Hoeth, taking my unit up to a choppy 24:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3909.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3914.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3917.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3922.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3925.jpg)

And if you want to see a guide to painting those ever so sexy Swordmaster models, check out Updates 11 & 15.

That's all the new models I have to show you for now, the good news is all the remaining High Elf models are constructed and basecoated:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4035.jpg)

And yes the astute amongst you may have noticed one there's a Battle Standard Bearer – finally I've got round to painting one only 7,000 points in! And two there's some War Lions of Chrace. The unit from the Storm of Magic book. Well given that I had the parts left over from my Tiranoc Chariots it seemed a shame not to get them all painted up, who knows when they might come in useful even if just for a Chrace filled game.

These were assembled, from the basic War Lion model, all I had to do was snip off the join with the reins and model a bit of green stuff into a mane (surprisingly easy to do) to cover the join. Fortunately in Storm of Magic they are listed as wearing light armour – presumably so you don't have to remodel the kit too much!!

Here's a work in progress picture, apologies for the quality it was outdoors I had only a little light left to spray everything and it had just started raining!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4019.jpg)

And with that cliff-hanger of having nearly finished the High Elves, it's a great shame that I'm away for the next week or two filming in a secret location (I don't even know where!) with work! So no blog updates next week, I know how can I leave you here?! Sorry! See you soon.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on June 21, 2012, 08:07:40 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on June 20, 2012, 11:10:06 pm
And I don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but I think the command group look a little bit here than they did previously?!
A truer word was never spoken, they definitely do look a bit here compared to previously, and not just a little bit...

Utterly fantastic I really love the fact your army has such massive blocks of elves, it looks fantastic.

Is that all you've got left to do - chariot, bolt thrower, bsb and lions?  If so it must be tantilisingly close to completion.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on June 21, 2012, 09:41:27 am
Single best product for stripping metal models, no matter how old and how many layers, is Nitro Mors.
You get it from B&Q or other stores like it.
Leave them in a (non plastic) container covered in the stuff overnight and most of the paint will be floating on the top by morning, the rest can be taken off by an old toothbrush, with very little effort. Much much better than nail varnish remover.

However, Nitro Mors is extremely toxic,,so you must leave the container outside or on a window ledge, when stripping, and use gloves when ringing off the minis.
Don't breath this stuff in basically, it will not be good for you.
However used sensibly, it is amazing for this purpose...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on June 21, 2012, 10:14:45 am
I've had good stripping experiences with Dettol and Mr Muscle oven spray too (on separate occasions!!! god know what mixing these things does ).... Also recently picked up a can of industrial strength acetone from dubious sources and will be testing it out next time I wander onto eBay.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 21, 2012, 11:20:32 am
Quote from: Dave on June 21, 2012, 08:07:40 am
Utterly fantastic I really love the fact your army has such massive blocks of elves, it looks fantastic.

Is that all you've got left to do - chariot, bolt thrower, bsb and lions?  If so it must be tantilisingly close to completion.

I think any child of Warhammer 4th Edition, imagines the perfect High Elf army to be filled with ranks and ranks of Spearmen and Archers, just as they imagine Orc armies to have ranks of Goblin Spearmen and Night Goblim Archers - just how it should be!! And yeah I do think blocks of infantry are what Elves are all about. Cheers for the compliments, what do you think of the Dragon Prince banner? Still undecided.

Yeah that's pretty much it, there's two mages and a prince in that tray (made up the 2x High Plastic character sets), plus the Dragon Mage (Mage done, Dragon can just be seen in that photo behind the tray). And then only movement trays to go. So close, so close! Frustrating I'm away next week and can't get stuck in!!

Cheers for all the stripping tips, knew there'd be better tips out there. And well done for being grown up and not commenting on the nudity - you've all done very well!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 13, 2012, 09:07:51 am
Update 75 – Friday 13th July 2012: A Little Bitesize Cheeky Friday Update

Apologies for the lack of updates, I have been so unbelievably busy, it is well quite unbelievable. "What have you been busy doing?" I hear you cry, or perhaps that's the voices in my head? Either way, I have been busy working on. Well if you haven't noticed there's a bit of a competition going on in the OG community, as a number of us have all taken home Games Workshop craters (generously provided by Ol), to convert to be the best piece of terrain we can possibly think of.

For details, and some work in progress pictures of other entries, check out here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3078.msg46189#new (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3078.msg46189#new)

I can now exclusively unveil some work in progress photos of how I'm getting on:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN124.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN127.jpg)

As you can see I have cleverly mounted the crater on a deep blue carpet, and then sprayed it Codex Grey, I think you'll agree it's coming on nicely.*

*Actually I've done nothing, I better head back to painting corner and get a move on. Oops! More next week...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on July 13, 2012, 11:59:55 am
Wow, unique and impressive.  Of the ones I've seen so far this is most likely to get my vote...  GET TO WORK YOU SLACKER
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on July 13, 2012, 01:48:01 pm
Urrk, need to get my crater sorted!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 16, 2012, 09:05:08 am
Update 76 – Monday 16th July 2012: And Final-Lee!

As you can't fail to have noticed veteran OG Games player and regular opponent of mine, Lee has finally left for pastures anew, or Bristol as it's known, for a better life. Why he can't just put up with his miserable life in London and make do like the rest of us, is anyone's guess?! But in order to mark this moment myself and Lee agreed to have one final battle on an OG Games' night.

It seemed fitting that we should do something a bit different, and we agreed to do a battle report for this very blog you are reading, in fact this very entry. See it's all making sense now!! With my battle reports taking a classic White Dwarf style, and with us using High Elves and Chaos Dwarfs as the two armies, we decided to recreate a classic White Dwarf fight. We picked up White Dwarf 164 (released in August 1993) – disturbingly it's possible that members of our club could have been born since this edition was released (which makes me want to kill myself):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN128.jpg)

In amongst release notes for Plaguefleet the classic supplement to the classic game, loved by classic players, Man O'War (the word "classic" can equally be replaced with the word "old") the magazine also features The Battle of Anurell's Tomb. A battle report featuring High Elves vs Chaos Dwarfs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN136.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN139.jpg)

The background for the battle is that the High Elves are trying to defend an ancient tomb against a marauding Chaos Dwarf army, which given I had a High Elf monument model to hand seemed like a good idea to replicate. Sadly I forgot said model on the actual day, so we had to use a Storm of Magic staircase instead. Oops.

The special rules for the scenario were a little vague (determined by terrain positions on their specific board), but we replicated them reasonably faithfully, and here are the rules for our game:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/0BasicMap.jpg)

The High Elf player may deploy up to one infantry unit (with no characters) within 6" of Anurell's Tomb (on the west side of the board). The Chaos Dwarfs deploy anywhere to the east half of the board up to 18" deep from their table edge. The remaining High Elves begin off the board and enter the board on Turn 1 to the east of the forest on the baseline. The High Elves automatically gain the first turn. Victory points are awarded as normal, in addition if either side has an uncontested unit within 6" of the Tomb at the end of the game they score an additional 750 Victory Points (no points are scored if both or neither side have units within 6").

With all that gubbins out the way it's time to get down to the grisly business of choosing armies, I'll leave you in the capable hands of Lee:

Lee: As this was my first game with the new Tamurkhan Chaos Dwarf list, I wanted to get a good variety of things into my list for this game, whilst not taking anything too obscene (Kdaii or Iron Daemons!). I also want to make sure the army looked like a Chaos Dwarf army and not just a Dwarf army on Lava bases.

First up was a good core of Dwarfs for the army, 19 Infernal Guard with great weapons (normal Chaos Dwarf Warriors), 20 Hobgoblins, 10 Infernal Guard with blunderbusses and 15 Infernal Ironsworn (special choice Chaos Dwarfs).

Next, these guys needed some leaders! I went straight for the only lord choice in the list, Maelzch the Sorcerer Prophet. This guy is both a combat lord and a wizard. I upgraded mine to a level 4 on the Lore of Hashut and mounted him on Daisy the Great Taurus, as every Chaos Dwarf player should be able to moo while charging!

Maelzch was joined by K'rahn an Infernal Castellan (Hero on foot) with the battle standard and Khas'trax a Bull Centaur hero. Strictly you can't take a Bull Centaur hero without a unit of them, but I thought this would be fine for this game.

So that's the troops and characters sorted, it's time to add the funky toys! I started with Skalbuzar, a Chaos Siege Giant, cause he's fun! He was joined by a Hellcannon and a Deathshrieker Rocket Battery (complicated stone thrower-esque shooting).

This left 62 points spare in my list, so I squeezed in 5 Hobgoblin Wolf Riders, and done!


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/ChaosDwarfArmy.jpg)

As a quick aside, for those of you unfamiliar with the Chaos Dwarf army list, here's a quick summary of equipment, magic items and spells used in this game:
Equipment:
•   Ensorcelled Weapons: +1 Strength, counts as Magical Attack
•   Blackshard Armour: 4+ Armour Save, 5+ Ward Save against Flaming Attacks
•   Hailshot Blunderbusses: 12" Range, D3 Shots, Strength 3, Armour Piercing
Magic Items:
•   Black Hammer of Hashut: +2 Strength, any wound against a Flammable target automatically kills the target
Spells (Lore of Hashut):
•   Breath of Hatred (Signature Spell): 6+ to Cast, Augment, Remains in Play. Range: 12" – target unit gains hatred of all enemies (can be cast to give all units within 12" hatred on a 15+).
•   Dark Subjugation: 8+ to Cast, Hex. Range: 24" – Target unit must pass a Leadership test at -3 Ld or suffers a permanent -1 Ld penalty.
•   Curse of Hashut: 10+ to Cast, Direct Damage. Range: 18" – single target model suffers 2D6 hits less its Toughness. All hits wound on  4+ with no armour save allowed.
•   Ash Storm: 12+ to Cast, Hex. Range: 24" – target unit suffers the following penalties until the start of the caster's next magic phase: -1 to hit in combat, -2 to hit in shooting, may not charge, march or fly, all terrain counts as dangerous terrain, affected wizards may not cast spells, target counts as Flammable.

Matt: Time to select some High Elves, initially I was tempted to select an army based on the selection chosen in White Dwarf 164, but on closer inspection I realised it featured a Noble on Great Eagle and a Battle Standard Bearer on Tiranoc Chariot – two models even I don't have in my collection! Plus it featured a Mage on Unicorn, no longer allowed for High Elves! That and it generally seemed rubbish, Silver Helms as shock troops – even I am not that stupid!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN133.jpg)

So it was time to pick my own High Elf army, I started with a poke in the core section. I find High Elf core selection a bit tricky, there's no real cheap choices like chariots, skirmishers or fast cavalry to push you across that minimum threshold if you fall a bit short (90 points is your minimum spend, and who wants just 10 Spearmen?). Plus if like me you like to field your units in the size you painted them, you can find yourself going way over the 25% threshold. Fortunately it turned out that a unit of High Elf Archers and my new unit of Spearmen came to just over 600 points. So that was my selection decided. Full command for all units, obviously, anything else is the sign of a deranged mind. Plus the Banner of Arcane Protection for the Spearmen to just push me over that threshold.

Next up were the special choices, I was allowed one infantry unit to defend the Tomb, so I plumped for a unit of Phoenix Guard – the most resilient High Elf unit, plus the clue as to who should guard the Tomb is in the unit name isn't it?! To that I added a unit of White Lions, mainly because they my models were newish and hadn't had much time on the battlefield, plus I love nothing better than getting them out of an army case and having to glue all their stupid axes back on!!!

The army was rounded out by the ever-reliable (except in my case – I seem to have purchased a cursed one) Repeater Bolt Thrower, and two Great Eagles to redirect charges and block Lee's units approaching the Tomb.

Characters of course were going to be important, I strongly suspected at least one flier to be joining the Chaos Dwarfs in the shape of a Lammasu or Taurus. I toyed with taking my Prince on Dragon, but he's not very portable!! So in the end settled for the Prince on Griffon tooled up with a nasty set of magic items perfect to take out heroes. I then plucked for two Level 2 Mages one with Lore of Heavens – as I enjoy the mix of destructive and augmentative spells, and one with Lore of Metal – as I haven't tried it before and figured heavily armoured Chaos Dwarfs would be the perfect target. After plucking a smattering of magic items to both augment my magic and counteract Lee's attempts (the thought of lava based magic scares my Toughness 3 Elves), I was left with 85 points – which is exactly the cost of a Tiranoc Chariot. I'd been looking at the model pleased with the paint job I'd done on it earlier in the week, so figured that was the perfect excuse to field it.

Finally the plan, yes I need one of those, basically the bulk of the High Elf army would head as quickly as possible to reinforce the Phoenix Guard, the Great Eagles would distract any advancing Chaos Dwarfs and the Archers and Bolt Thrower would stay put to draw away some of Lee's army. What could go wrong?


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/HighElfArmy.jpg)

With the armies decided it was onto the battlefield!

DEPLOYMENT

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/00Deployment.jpg)

First up both sides rolled for spells with the Sorcerer Prophet taking the following spells from the Lore of Hashut: Breath of Hatred, Dark Subjugation, Curse of Hashut and Ash Storm (see notes on Chaos Dwarf rules earlier). The High Elf Mage with the Lore of Heavens took Chain Lightning, Harmonic Convergence and Comet of Casandora, whilst the other Mage rolled Glittering Robe and Final Transmutation from the Lore of Metal.

Matt started off by deploying his Phoenix Guard at the foot of the Tomb, Lee responded by deploying his Chaos Dwarf artillery on the hill, the Hobgoblins took up the eastern flank with the Chaos Dwarfs on the west. The remainder of the High Elves were poised to enter the battlefield next turn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN085.jpg)
The Phoenix Guard deploy at the foot of a suspicious looking High Elf Waystone.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN088.jpg)
The Chaos Dwarf force sets up on the hill.

HIGH ELF TURN 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/1HighElfTurn1.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 0
Chaos Dwarfs: 0


The High Elf army stormed onto the battlefield to rescue the Phoenix Guard, the Archers and Bolt Thrower crew took to the high ground, while the infantry all moved as fast as it could towards the Tomb. The Prince landed his Griffon behind some trees out of sight of the dreaded Chaos Dwarf artillery, and the Great Eagles got ready to harass the Chaos Dwarf lines.

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5957.jpg)
The High Elves advance onto the rather cluttered battlefield – it's like a student's bedroom!

The arrival of the Elven spellcasters bought with it a surge in the Winds of Magic as Matt rolled a 10, with the remaining two power dice generated by the Banner of Sorcery. First up the Heavens Mage cast Harmonic Convergence on the Archers, improving the chances of them wounding with the first volley. Lee held onto his dispel dice. The Heavens Mage then threw four power dice at Chain Lightning but failed to meet the casting value. This left the Metal Mage to throw five dice at Final Transmutation targeting the Chaos Dwarf Warriors, Lee threw all his dispel dice in and managed to equal the 20 rolled dissipating the spell.

With the Bolt Thrower unable to shoot this turn, the Archers were the only shooters firing at the Blunderbuss armed Chaos Dwarfs. With Harmonic Convergence guiding their arrows home, the Archers score ten hits and five wounds, but the tough Blackshard armour saved all but two of the Chaos Dwarfs.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/2ChaosDwarfTurn1.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 0
Chaos Dwarfs: 0


The Chaos Dwarf lines advanced as one towards the High Elf army, with the exception of the Giant and Sorcerer on his mighty Taurus who both swept towards the Tomb.

The Winds of Magic died down scoring only a paltry six dice with channels, however this didn't stop Lee from blasting the nearest Great Eagle with Curse of Hashut doing two wounds.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN093.jpg)
The Eagle suffers the terrible curse of the Dice of 2.

The Sorcerer Prophet turned his attention to the Spearmen, casting Dark Subjugation on them, Matt felt confident his Spearmen could pass a leadership test on the Prince's Leadership – despite the -3 modifier. However they didn't, and would suffer a -1 Leadership penalty for the rest of the game. Matt then threw all his dispel dice in to stop Ash Storm engulfing the Tiranoc Chariot, but was unable to stop it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN095.jpg)
The Spearmen and Chariot are engulfed by foul Chaos Dwarf magics, here you can see them before...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN140.jpg)
...And thanks to an impressive special effects budget here's what they probably look like.

With the Blunderbusses out of range, it was up to the battery of artillery on the hillside. The Hellcannon overshot the Spearmen. The Deathshrieker Rocket scattered wildly from its intended target of the Tiranoc Chariot - if the final position of a Deathshrieker Rocket isn't a unit the rocket "locks" onto the nearest target and moves a further artillery dice towards them. Sadly for Lee the rocket scattered so far this was now the Infernal Guard, fortunately the dice came up with a Misfire and so the rocket scattered no further.

HIGH ELF TURN 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/3HighElfTurn2.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 0
Chaos Dwarfs: 0


The High Elf turn began dramatically as the Elven Prince gripped his Star Lance, and dug his spurs into the Griffon. The beast charged out from the woods ploughing into the Taurus. The Great Eagles moved to lock the movement of the Giant and Ironsworn just in case they tried to aid their master in subsequent turns. The High Elf infantry continued its march towards the Tomb, while the Chariot remained immobilised by the Ash Storm.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN092.jpg)
The Elven Prince sits ready to strike out against the Sorcerer, safe in the trees from the Chaos Dwarf artillery.

Again the Winds of Magic favoured the Elven mages giving them a full 12 dice. The Metal Mage successfully cast Glittering Robe providing all units within 12" with a Scaly Skin 5+ save, including the Prince's Griffon. The Heavens Mage then tried to repeat Harmonic Convergence on the Prince, Lee wisely dispelled this. The Heavens Mage then threw five dice into casting Chain Lightning on the Giant, again he scored 20, but despite Lee throwing all his remaining dice in he rolled low and was unable to stop the spell. The heavens opened as a massive lightning bolt struck the Giant, Matt rolled a 6 for the number of hits caused, promptly doing four wounds on the towering monster. The lightning then jumped onto the Sorcerer and Taurus, Lee looked on in disbelief as Matt rolled a further 6 for the number of hits! While the Sorcerer shrugged off the attack, Matt rolled three 6s and two 5s for the hits on the Taurus killing the beast outright without the need for the bonus hits Lore of Heaven spells do to flying creatures. The Chain Lightning then leapt onto the Ironsworn, fortunately for Lee, Matt only rolled a 1 for hits this time as a single Dwarf was electrocuted and the spell finally earthed after generating havoc down the Chaos Dwarf line.

The shooting phase was less eventful with the Bolt Thrower only managing to score one hit on the Hobgoblin Wolf Riders, which wounded. The Archers targeted the same unit scoring ten hits, but only one of these managed to wound leaving the eastern flank bearing down on the missile armed Elves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN098.jpg)
The Hobgoblins are largely unaffected by the appalling Elven shooting.

In combat the Sorcerer was suddenly looking a lot smaller without his Taurus. The Elven Prince struck his Star Lance into the Sorcerer four times causing three wounds, whilst his armour was no use against the attack, the Talisman of Protection absorbed two wounds. The Griffon then caused a further wound on the Sorcerer, who attempted to strike back, but with The Black Hammer of Hashut rendered useless by the Talisman of Saphery he couldn't do any wounds. Finally the Griffon stomped the Sorcerer's body into the ground, crushing his spine and ending the threat of Chaos Dwarf magic for good. Pleased the Prince overran with his Griffon avoiding any retribution from the rest of the Chaos Dwarf line.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN096.jpg)
The High Elf Prince dispatches the recently dismounted Sorcerer overrunning behind the Chaos Dwarf line.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/4ChaosDwarfTurn2.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 630
Chaos Dwarfs: 0


Determined to avenge the death of his general Lee declared a raft of charges, the Giant charging a Great Eagle who holds. The Ironsworn charges the second Eagle which flees landing just in front of the White Lions, the Ironsworn successfully redirect crashing into the ranks of Elven Spearmen. The Infernal Guard charge towards the Tiranoc Chariot, whose attempt to stand and shoot is ruined by the on-going Ash Storm, however rolling only a three for their charge means the Infernal Guard fall way short of the chariot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN099.jpg)
No matter how many times Lee measures the distance to the chariot, 3 inches is just not long enough!

With no magic the shooting phase again opens up with a roar of artillery from the hilltop, both war machines targeting the exposed Elven General. The Hellcannon scatters away but the Deathshrieker scores a direct hit, reducing the Griffon to a pile of pulped flesh and feathers doing six wounds, the dazed Elven Prince dismounts his fallen beast, himself reduced to a single wound. The Blunderbusses open up on the chariot scoring an impressive twelve wounds shredding chariot, crew and steeds with ease.

The Great Eagle attempts to rip the Giant's flesh open, scoring two hits but it's unable to wound. It is swift enough to dodge the Giant's club leaving the two creatures locked in combat. The Ironsworn are greeted by a wall of Elven Spears, the Bull Centaur manages to save the only wound inflicted upon it by the Spearmen, but embarrassingly for Lee, it is wounded by the Mage! The Spearmen manage six wounds on the remainder of the unit, but the tough Blackshard armour saves four of them, however the Spearmen champion kills his Chaos Dwarf counterpart in a challenge. Despite the presence of the Glittering Robe, three Spearmen fall to the axes of the Ironguard, though the Bull Centaur is unable to wound the Mage. Thanks to their ranks the Elves win the combat by one, but the stubborn Chaos Dwarfs refuse to budge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN100.jpg)
The Ironsworn are greeted by a wall of Elven Spears. Almost as friendly a greeting as one receives in the Post Office.

HIGH ELF TURN 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/5HighElfTurn3.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 630
Chaos Dwarfs: 85


The now dismounted Prince decides he doesn't want to hang around in the open battlefield anymore and so charges the Giant. The fleeing Great Eagle rallies. The only other movement from the High Elf army is that the White Lions reform to face the flank of the Ironsworn hoping to assist the Spearmen next turn.

Again the Winds of Magic favour the Elven mages giving another full 12 power dice. The Heavens Mage tries to help out the Spearmen by casting Harmonic Convergence on his own unit but this is quickly dispelled, as is the Metal Mage's attempt to cast Final Transmutation on the Infernal Guard. However the Heavens Mage is able to summon a Comet of Casandora - a dark shadow falls across the Chaos Dwarf artillery.

The Bolt Thrower continues its less than impressive artillery display skewering a single Hobgoblin Wolf Rider, however it is enough to panic the cowardly greenskins who run back to the Chaos Dwarf lines. The Archers follow suit killing five of the regular Hobgoblins also panicking that unit, who follow their mounted brethren towards the hills.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN102.jpg)
The Hobgoblins Wolfriders close in on the Bolt Thrower...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN109.jpg)
...but soon they are running for their lives!

In combat the Prince's inability to use his Star Lance means he's unable to score a wound on the Giant, the Eagle misses his target altogether, while the Giant head butts the Eagle inflicting a single wound. The Giant then lifts his foot and brings it down upon the Prince crushing the Elven noble. Seeing the death of his general is too much for the Eagle who flees hotly pursued by the Giant who catches and dismembers the bird. The Spearmen struggle against the Ironsworn's Blackshard Armour, despite inflicting 8 wounds they only kill 2 Chaos Dwarfs, in return for many casualties. However the Bull Centaur again misses the Mage, frustrating Lee! The Elven Spearmen remain stubborn, but just to be sure Matt rolls a double one for their break test.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/6ChaosDwarfTurn3.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 630
Chaos Dwarfs: 685


The Chaos Dwarf army continues its advance as the Blunderbusses and Infernal Guard march towards the Elves. The Hobgoblin infantry rally, but the Wolf Riders continue to flee towards the Hellcannon. The Giant nips behind the Tomb denying the Phoenix Guard's claim on the ancient Elven monument.

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5961.jpg)
The Siege Giant arrives behind the Phoenix Guard casting the special spell "Out of Focus" on them.

Again there's no magic for the Chaos Dwarf army, though the Comet hurtling towards the hilltop grows bigger in the sky. The Hellcannon and Deathshrieker's payloads both scatter widely from the Phoenix Guard, the Deathshrieker rocket "locking" in on the Giant, fortunately another misfire roll from Lee sees it impact the ground harmlessly.

In combat the Spearmen manage to find a chink in the Dwarfen army killing four Ironsword in return for only three losses, though again they can't wound the Bull Centaur, who finally manages a single wound on the Heavens Mage! With the combat tied no side is prepared to give ground.

HIGH ELF TURN 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/7HighElfTurn4.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 630
Chaos Dwarfs: 685


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN113.jpg)
Pantomime season comes to the Warhammer World early as the Phoenix Guard realise where the giant is!

With the Infernal Guard approaching the Spearmen's flank, Matt was all poised to begin a rescue mission with his White Lions. However to his horror Matt realised he hadn't left quite enough room for the White Lions to sneak in between the Eagle and Spearmen. With the Giant having moved the Eagle couldn't even charge out of the way and so frustrated Matt got the White Lions to return to their primary objective and marched them towards the Tomb. The Eagle and Phoenix Guard moved to get the elusive Giant in their sights.

Finally the Winds of Magic deserted the Elves as they only gained 5 power dice, though this was bumped up to 8 by the Banner of Sorcery. But before any spells the Comet hurtled into the hilltop, the resulting apocalyptic explosion left the Deathshrieker destroyed and the Hellcannon limping after it suffered two wounds. Sensing the danger the Spearmen were about to be in the Heavens Mage tried to buff them with Harmonic Convergence, but the Chaos Dwarfs dispelled it, however they were unable to stop the Metal Mage casting Glittering Robe on the unit improving their save to 3+. The Mage was less successful when he tried to cast Final Transmutation on the Giant, in a desperate bid to inflict another wound, as he failed to make the casting value.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN112.jpg)
Time is running out for the flank of the Elven Spearmen.


The Elven missile troops were torn between saving themselves from the approaching Blunderbusses or whittling down the Infernal Guard approaching the Spearmen's flank. The Bolt Thrower targeted the Blunderbusses and improved its fortunes inflicting four wounds, though one was stopped by Blackshard Armour. The Archers were less lucky as they only managed to get a single shot passed the armour of the Infernal Guard.

In combat the Heavens Mage continued his impressive run inflicting another unsaved wound on the Bull Centaur, however he finally answered back striking the mage down. The Spearmen did an impressive eight wounds on the Ironsworn, but only three made it through their Blackshard Armour leaving just two Ironsworn left alive. Despite this the Chaos Dwarfs held, meaning that the Spearmen would have to face the charge of the Infernal Guard.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/8ChaosDwarfTurn4.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 730
Chaos Dwarfs: 870


The turn began with the Infernal Guard ploughing into the flank of the Elven Spearmen. The Hobgoblin Wolfriders continued fleeing, while the Giant again moved out of the charge range of the Phoenix Guard.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN118.jpg)
The Infernal Guard arrive just in time to save the one remaining Ironsworn.

The Hellcannon scored a glancing hit on the White Lions killing two of them despite their Lion cloaks. In combat the Spearmen rolled appalling and only manage to kill one of the two remaining Ironsworn, the Ironsworn and Bull Centaur failed to cause any wounds. However the Infernal Guard killed four Spearmen, with a whole raft of combat bonuses going against them the Spearmen fled outpacing their Dwarfen pursuers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN121.jpg)
The Spearmen flee through the forest pursued by the Chaos Dwarfs.

HIGH ELF TURN 5

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/9HighElfTurn5.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 730
Chaos Dwarfs: 895


The Spearmen failed to rally and continued fleeing through the forest, while the White Lions, Phoenix Guard and Eagle all tried to pin down the Siege Giant. With no useful spells to cast, we passed straight on to the shooting phase. The Bolt Thrower and the Archers opened fire on the Blunderbusses between them felling four, the one remaining Blunderbuss passed his panic check.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN119.jpg)
The Chaos Dwarfs and Hobgoblins come under continued fire from the Elves.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 5

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/10ChaosDwarfTurn5.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 730
Chaos Dwarfs: 895


The one remaining Ironsworn and the Bull Centaur charge the Spearmen, forcing them to flee. Fortunately Matt only rolled 4" enough to get them away from the chargers, but just keeping them on the very edge of the board. The Hobgoblins attempt to charge the Bolt Thrower but fall short.

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5968.jpg)
The Spearmen continue to flee through the forest.

Meanwhile the Hobgoblin Wolfriders flee the table, which obviously distracts the Hellcannon, as it rampages down the board towards the High Elf Archers. The Giant continues to evade the Elven infantry.

The one remaining Blunderbuss finally opens fires on the Archers killing a single Elf, ending the brief turn.

HIGH ELF TURN 6

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/11HighElfTurn6.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 790
Chaos Dwarfs: 895


The Spearmen failed their last opportunity to rally and fled the board. With the High Elves still unable to get to grip with the Giant the Metal Mage had one last attempt at casting Final Transmutation on the Siege Giant, but this was dispelled.

With two Chaos Dwarf units on the board reduced to a single model, Matt ideally wanted to split his shooting but the Bolt Thrower failed to wound the last Blunderbuss armed Infernal Guard. The Archers targeted the same unit, causing two wounds, one of which was saved just killing the Blunderbusses but leaving the final Ironsworn unscathed.

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5967.jpg)
The High Elf Archers have one final turn to whittle down the Blunderbusses.

CHAOS DWARF TURN 6

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/12ChaosDwarfTurn6.jpg)

Victory Points at start of turn:
High Elves: 980
Chaos Dwarfs: 1,260


Despite the lack of nearby Chaos Dwarfs, the Hobgoblins pass their animosity test and charge the Bolt Thrower. To add insult to injury the Siege Giant nips past the Phoenix Guard to get closest to the Tomb.

The Hellcannon finally scores a direct hit, blowing a huge chunk out of the White Lions, ten are killed and the unit flees in panic.

In the final combat phase the Bolt Thrower crew are unable to kill a single Hobgoblin, the Hobgoblins kill one crewman, and with combat resolution the final Elf flees only to be caught by the mob of greenskins.

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5971.jpg)
The Hobgoblins overrun the Bolt Thrower.

With no side in overall control of the Tomb, the scores at the end of the final turn were:

Final Victory Points:
High Elves: 980
Chaos Dwarfs: 1,360


Meaning a win for the Chaos Dwarfs!!

(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii245/maelzch/100_5970.jpg)
The Siege Giant continues to outfox the Phoenix Guard!

CONCLUSION

Matt: Bloody Siege Giant! Bloody Siege Giant! No matter what I did I just couldn't pin it down. It would be easy for me to blame luck here, if my Spearmen had just been able to rally at some point, or if I'd just killed that one remaining Infernal Guard... both of which would have closed the victory point difference down to less than 100. However blaming luck would be ignoring the good luck I had, always having a bucket full of power dice and blasting both Siege Giant and Taurus with Chain Lightning.

In utter fairness this game was mine to throw away, and I did. Ironically it was my moment of fortune in Turn 2, when Chain Lightning struck and my Prince assassinated Lee's general, which lead to my momentary overconfidence. Because in Turn 3 I through the game away, as I considered the Giant good as dead and figured I'd blunted Lee's main attempt on the Tomb. Without these models I reasoned it would be a real fight for Lee to get the Tomb back. Instead the Giant went on to outmanoeuvre my units, and with my Heavens Lore Mage tied up in combat and all my shooting too far away to target the Giant, I was denied the 750 points for holding the Tomb.

With hindsight I was foolish to charge my wounded Prince into the Giant, I considered the Giant no longer to be a threat, and wanted to get my Prince away from those devastating Chaos Dwarf war machines. I also had completely forgotten about Thunderstomp! Instead I should have sent the Phoenix Guard in who could have dealt with the Giant and possibly even rescued the Prince. I was so intent on concentrating on the objective (something veteran players often forget, getting carried away chopping up your army), that I refused to budge the Phoenix Guard, even though they could have probably dealt with the Giant and returned to the Tomb before any Chaos Dwarfs got there even if the Spearmen had faltered early on.

The other mistake was of course my White Lions, really poor sloppy positioning on my part allowed them to get bogged down trying to get the Ironsworn in the flank. Annoyingly had that Eagle rolled either 1" more or less it would have been out of the way. Oh well!

What went right? Well the Spearmen did a good job, ok they bit it in the end, but they held up a far more elite unit for a long time, nearly killing them all – despite needing a 5 to wound and facing a 3+ save. Never underestimate the barrage of attacks High Elf Spearmen can dish out. Heavens magic again proved its worth, and flexibility, with attacks and buffs in equal measure. I was pleased with my General's surgical strike on the Supreme Prophet, I'd like to think it would have gone well even if the Taurus had been alive!

Anyway I'll conclude by saying "Next time Lee... next time. Oh wait, what do you mean there won't be a next time?!"


Sadly at the time of writing Lee, is busy packing boxes and moving house with all the hellish inconvenience that, that entails. So in his absence I'll write something on his behalf.

Matt (on behalf of Lee): I'm pretty sure Lee would want to say how he was extremely lucky to have won this game, and that really Matt should have won this game and in fact won every game that we've ever played. Indeed it was very cowardly of me to use my Giant in this way, and I should feel ashamed of myself, I should have charged in to those Phoenix Guard and died with honour.

On a serious note I know Lee regretting fixating so much on the Tiranoc Chariot at the beginning, and with hindsight would have immobilised the Prince on Griffon with Ash Storm rather than the Chariot. The Bull Centaur hero proved to be somewhat of a disappointment, constantly vexed by the Mage though he eventually did kill him. The Deathshrieker Rocket was a big success, worth it just for that one hit on the Griffon.

I'm sure Lee probably has something far more sensible, useful and insightful to say, and hopefully he will reply when he gets a chance to get online.


Overall it was, as always, an enjoyable experience battling Lee, and fun to play a different kind of game. I know this is the kind of phrase White Dwarf churn out all the time, but having either a background or special reason for fighting a battle (regardless of special rules) really helps bring it to life. Thanks to Lee for putting up with incessant note taking and for snapping pictures of the game on the way. I look forward to our next meeting.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on July 16, 2012, 10:06:06 am
Nice report, of course if it were a WD report no way that giant would have cowardly gone and stood behind the toom and played at running circles around the phoenix guard, he'd have gone straight for combat with the intent of stomping them into the ground (though probably have been killed before getting a single attack in).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on July 16, 2012, 11:21:05 am
Yup, there was also a substantial lack of blatant advertising. Thats not the good White Dwarf quality we all know and love! Don't get me wrong, I still very much enjoyed it, but it wasn't quite the same...




Oh and as its OG, it would be remiss of me not to:
Quote3 inches is just not long enough!

Do you hear that often?  :thumbsup: :wink;m:: HEY-O!


Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 16, 2012, 11:37:32 am
Quote from: Dave on July 16, 2012, 10:06:06 am
Nice report, of course if it were a WD report no way that giant would have cowardly gone and stood behind the toom and played at running circles around the phoenix guard, he'd have gone straight for combat with the intent of stomping them into the ground (though probably have been killed before getting a single attack in).

Yeah blame Lee!! He blatantly should have charged in!!

Quote from: Meals on July 16, 2012, 11:21:05 am
Yup, there was also a substantial lack of blatant advertising. Thats not the good White Dwarf quality we all know and love! Don't get me wrong, I still very much enjoyed it, but it wasn't quite the same...

Did I forget to mention I'm doing specially commissioned battle reports, £700 a time for anyone who is interested? The look good, no?!

Quote from: Meals on July 16, 2012, 11:21:05 am
Oh and as its OG, it would be remiss of me not to:
Do you hear that often?  :thumbsup: :wink;m:: HEY-O!

Are you suggesting that I would deliberately write something with an undertone of sexually suggestion. Me?! :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 18, 2012, 01:59:24 pm
Right now I have everyone's attention with my glittering battle report - Update 76 previous page, plug, plug, plug! I would like to ask a modelling question in return.

I have some Vallejo Water Effects - this stuff:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3504.jpg)

I want to add some coloured liquid to a modelling project I'm doing (I cannot confirm or deny if this is my crater or not!), how is it best to dye this stuff? Add in an appropriate coloured paint to the mix before applying to the model? How much paint should I add, the liquid can be virtually opaque for what I'm doing.

Help and suggestions (not rude ones) please!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on July 18, 2012, 02:11:07 pm
You can either paint the bottom of the river, crater the colour you want for a subtle effect, or add colour to the mix during application, washes or inks for a lighter shade, paints for a darker, murkier look..

experiment with small bubble like dabs and leave to dry to see how see dark you have made it...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 18, 2012, 04:09:45 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on July 18, 2012, 02:11:07 pm
You can either paint the bottom of the river, crater the colour you want for a subtle effect, or add colour to the mix during application, washes or inks for a lighter shade, paints for a darker, murkier look..

experiment with small bubble like dabs and leave to dry to see how see dark you have made it...

Cheers (how do you know it's the crater - ummmm....)

Think the paint jobby will work for me, I'll experiment, any thoughts as to what mix to start at? 50/50?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 31, 2012, 12:00:30 am
Update 77 – Tuesday 31st July 2012: Self-Cratering

It's a welcome return for the blog that makes about as much sense as revealing Sir Tim Berners-Lee under a giant house does to Americans. Yes apologies for my absence, sadly the disappointing, crushing, depressing reality of the real-world has reared its ugly head once more. Still most of you probably were grateful for a break in the unrelenting bulls**t that this URL usually provides.

After last entry's amazing battle report (I hope you agree – apparently the Americans were annoyed because it was only available on a three hour time and they had to endure Ryan Seacrest), I actually have some painting to show you. Wooo.

Yep unbelievable I know, I've actually done something! And with good timing too, as today marks the close of the INAUGURAL OG TERRAIN PAINTING COMPETITION (not sure why it has to be written in capital letters – but branding is important so I'll do my best to follow). The idea of the competition, for those of you who've spent the last few months trapped on a Central Line train, is that our venerable leader Ol has provided a number of the plastic Games Workshop craters that we all have to paint/model/convert to the best of our ability. This competition also has the side-benefit of boosting the club's level of terrain, it's a bit like one of those "competitions" parents run with their small children – "We're going to have a competition now to see who can be the quiet for the longest!" :wink;m:: I see through your ruse!!

Either way it's time to unveil my efforts, as I proudly present the mystical Fountain of the Spilt Shakeaway:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN222.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN225.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN230.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN232.jpg)

That's right; my terrain building is even more bonkers than my army painting!!! No, hold that thought doubters. Actually this is a model of one of Ulthuan's most sacred monuments. Yes. Deep in the Averlorn forest lies the holy site of the Fountain of the Spilt Shakeaway.

The site consists of the two Shakeaway cups of Anaerion, one is constantly full always topped up with the sugary life-giving, artery-filing milkshake, that is both the Everqueen's favourite and the magical nectar that keeps the isle of Ulthuan afloat. The other cup is that of the spilt Shakeaway, to the horror of all the High Elves the second cup was spilt during the time of the Sundering when all the Elven kingdoms were rocked by a series of earthquakes.

However much to the surprise of the Elves who guarded it at the time, they realised the true power of the monument, because as the cup's milkshakey contents spilt to the ground and soaked into the dry earth so more milkshake was formed in the cup. From that very day nearly 4,000 years ago the cup has been in a perpetual state of emptying, always spilling its contents at the same rate as it soaks into the parched earth below. No one not even the mightiest mages of Ulthuan, nor the Phoenix King himself can ever know if the cup will run dry. All that is known is that the largest, if most poorly commanded, army in all Ulthuan pledged itself to protecting the Fountain of the Spilt Shakeaway. The units wore costumes of that colour and even bore images of the mighty cups on their banners. Cementing their role as the Shakeaway guardians (and you thought I was just making this up!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN235.jpg)

And in case you're wondering this piece would make a great chemical spill in Warhammer 40,000 – see always thinking.

Of course no great terrain piece would be without some special rules and here they are for the Fountain of the Spilt Shakeaway. All High Elves painted in a Shakeaway theme gain a 1+ Ward Save if they are in the same gaming room as the terrain feature. Don't have a go at me, blame Games Workshop, it's not as if I just made up the rules.

For those of you interested in how I made it, all one of you, the cups are the lids from two bottles of mouthwash (bought simply as the lids looked the right shape):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN143.jpg)

Incidentally if anyone wants any mouth wash in a bottle with no lid, bob me a PM.

These were glued in place:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN150.jpg)

The full cup has a circle of card cut from a cereal box glued in – the circle is actually resting on the screw mechanism in the cap for extra stability. Drawing around a paint pot proved perfect for this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN155.jpg)

The straw in the finished bottle is a paperclip bent into shape and pushed into the card.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN159.jpg)

It was then all undercoated Chaos Black:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN165.jpg)

The model was then basecoated in my usual colours:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN196.jpg)

Here's a full guide:

Crater: Basecoated Steel Legion Drab, then drybrushed Baneblade Brown, followed by Bleached Bone.
Cup (cream section): Basecoated Dheneb Stone, then layered Bleached Bone
Cup (yellow section): Basecoated Iyanden Dark Sun, then layered Golden Yellow, followed by Sunburst Yellow, then washed Ogryn Flesh and highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Cup (blue section): Basecoated 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue and highlighted 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White

For the milkshake I mixed some Water Effects with some Tentacle Pink paint, at a ratio of about 5:1 in an old spray can lid:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN217.jpg)

This was then applied to the model with a coffee stirrer in the spilt cup and on top of the full cup.

Finally I painted the Shakeaway logo in Warlock Purple around the cup, before flocking the crater. I may have got a bit carried away with the flocking, I blame seeing the hill in the Olympic Opening Ceremony:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN225.jpg)

So there we go, that's my crater entry we'll see if anyone lets me near any more terrain any time soon?!

And of course if you want to see all the other, better, entries check out here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3078.msg46586;topicseen#msg46586 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3078.msg46586;topicseen#msg46586)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on July 31, 2012, 12:43:24 pm
Now just need to work out whether it's more dangerous than a swamp or a marsh
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on July 31, 2012, 12:46:02 pm
Automatic strength test or "take it off" like Dwellers!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 31, 2012, 08:34:46 pm
Perhaps it's not dangerous terrain, but units can move through at half rate as they sip the delicious milkshake!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 07, 2012, 11:44:09 pm
Update 78 – Wednesday 8th August 2012: Hell is so Tempting

Don't you just hate it when a plan goes awry, be you an Olympic athlete trying to work out the perfect moment to start your sprint, the Mayor of London trying to use a zip line without looking like a comedy piñata or just me trying desperately to finish painting a High Elf army.

Problem is this month's White Dwarf recently landed on my doormat – ok technically it didn't it was put in the little group mail box at the entrance to my block of flats, that's London living for you! Most of you will have opened it up and made a noise a bit like a contented pigeon as you leafed through the pages of the new Daemon models. No? Well I certainly did.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN304.jpg)

First up you've got the various hellish contraptions of Slaanesh in multiple sizes, that all look like they'd A) be great at making tagliatelle and B) would cause a massive tail back if you got caught behind them on the A345. What's worse a combine harvester or a Slaaneshy chop-chop machine on wheels?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN311.jpg)

Then there's Nurgle's abhorrent creations, finally some plastic Plaguebearers (probably the only core infantry unit in the game left not available in plastic? There's a challenge for you, quick flick through Army books to find out if there's another core unit not available in plastic! Quick do it!!

Done. Good reply and let me know what you found. Back to the Plagubearers, andin my opinion they look great too, if by great you mean having all your innards hanging of your body, probably won't get you the cover of Vogue I imagine. And of course the Nurglings, who on the face of it look rather cute, like the pile of cuddly toys in the Disney Store but jump into these and you'll have more to worry about that landing on a four-year old child and being accused of Gary Glitterism. I for one think these are great and hope that it's the start of a lot more plastic swarms.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN288.jpg)

And as dedicated follower of Tzeentch I am excited by the Screamers and Flamers making it to plastic. Not quite sure if the Flamers look too odd, or not, but in fairness the background does describe them as the oddest Daemons of all so guess the model's got that covered! The Screamers look like the packs of sinister, hovering, predatory sharks they are, and in plastic now stand a chance of being mounted on a flying base without potential disaster!! Then of course there's the wicked looking Scribes of Tzeentch, yet more flying bases saved by making them in Finecast!!

Not quite sure about the Soulgrinder yet, sure it will find its way into the Warhammer world soon enough, though it does dwarf the Greater Daemons now, who I think are going to need to grow in plastic scale soon – no I'm not even considering the life-size ones Forgeworld do, that's just ridiculous!

All of this Daemonic naughtiness is providing an awful lot of temptation to my poor warp-raddled mind, I mean I have the other two pantheons of Chaos – Warriors and Beastmen, wouldn't it be a shame not to go for the hat trick? How about a Tzeentch contingent to accompany my Tzeentch Warriors in a Storm of Magic game (not that I've played Storm of Magic ever!!)? Bad thoughts that must be dismissed quicker than those thoughts that all my straight male friends had upon seeing Hermione Granger in the first Harry Potter film back when I was at uni!!

However all of the Daemonic naughtiness really, in terms of my temptation, was a side show to the next few pages.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN293.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN297.jpg)

Yes after proudly boasting back in Update 74 that this was my last batch of High Elves (unless new models or some Finecast characters I want pop out), Games Workshop have only gone and done that before I've got me bits painted. God dam you!! Plus not only that they've potentially added some Beastmen temptation my way too!!

This leads to loads of questions:

•   Do I need the new Beastmen Shaman? Yes, clearly! In fairness the models I currently have our 4th edition, great but a little bit goaty!!
•   What treats are actually coming in Finecast? Dam you Games Workshop for toying with me, with just a teaser page. Hoping for some of the Beastmen/High Elf special characters thank you.
•   Which Teclis shall I go for? Current metal Teclis (which I've warmed too after seeing from a new angle), or classic re-release Finecast Teclis. And yes I do need Teclis, and no I won't ruin games with him. Stop abusing me, I am nice really.
•   Should I make my Razagor Chariot from Finecast? I currently have a metal Tuskgor Chariot and Razagor kit sitting ready to be converted, but it was all such a f**king arse building both the Razagor and the chariot, with more pinning than a fat bride's wedding dress, that I'm really tempted to just buy both kits in Finecast and start again! Is that wrong? On a similar note I do have a metal Gorthor the Beastlord kit, in a box somewhere, but if he comes in Finecast can I be arsed pinning the chariot only so that it disintegrates on touch?

All this, plus the revival of my Beastmen in the current Narrative Campaign (more on that next time) is proving a distraction to my High Elves. I've even starting painting the Cygor I promised I'd leave until the Elves were done.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN300.jpg)

Still despite my naughtiness the Elves are coming together, here's a work in progress guide  to how I've got on with the Bolt Thrower, for you to ignore!! In fairness it's been a depressing 15 updates since my last High Elf painting guide – very poor!!:

Stage 1 – Repeater Bolt Thrower

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN187.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
White Robes: 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Wood: Khemri Brown
Grass: Goblin Green
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Trim and Feathers: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh


Stage 2 – Repeater Bolt Thrower

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN250.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
White Robes: Layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Wood: Layer: Watered down Graveyard Earth (except Bolt Thrower, layer: 1:1 Steel Legion Drab/Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth)
Grass: Layer Camo Green
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Trim and Feathers: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Highlight Ice Blue
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh


Stage 3 – Repeater Bolt Thrower

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN276.jpg)

Base: Coat Baneblade Brown
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
White Robes: Layer watered down Skull White
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone then layer watered down Bleached Bone
Grass: Wash Thraka Green
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Trim and Feathers: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh


That's it for this update, hopefully more High Elves will be finished soon. Happy Birthday to Mr Shakey Shakey who is 30 today. Got to mention that. Oh and can also say thank you to all of the people who view this blog. Just realised we've passed the 20,000 hits mark which is amazing! Don't think that's just down to regular OGgers so if you are one the unnamed masses who pop on here for a read make yourself known and leave some comments – hey even abuse and death threats are welcome. Makes me feel loved!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on August 08, 2012, 08:41:12 am
QuoteThen there's Nurgle's abhorrent creations, finally some plastic Plaguebearers (probably the only core infantry unit in the game left not available in plastic? There's a challenge for you, quick flick through Army books to find out if there's another core unit not available in plastic! Quick do it!!


Have to say i'd decided to do a deamon army prior to the release of the plaguebearers and nurglings and just had to grab some when i saw the pics.

Having seen them 'in the flesh' so to speak i have to say they're easily some of the best models GW have released!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 08, 2012, 09:32:37 pm
They look great totally agree, looking forward to seeing your Daemons. Must resist Tzeentch horde, must...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 10, 2012, 02:34:43 pm
Well after all that excitement about new Beastmen and High Elf Finecast models, they're up on the GW Website - and it's not really that impressive a hawl. Shame, was looking forward to some Finecast Special Characters.

However in an amazing segway, here's something that is exciting (see what I've done there!). I very rarely blog or tweet about work, but a show that myself and my team have put blood, sweat and tears into (literally I very nearly broke my shoulder during filming!) kicks off this weekend. Camp Orange: The Lost Kindgom starts at 9.30am Sunday on Nickelodeon (repeated Sunday at 8.30pm for you sleepy heads, and extra showings Mon, Tue, Wed). I'd love you to tune in if you're able to, brilliant show (if I do say so myself)!

You can always check out the website nick.co.uk/camporange - let's just say the show blog is written by a blogging genius, I'm saying no more!

Enjoy!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 15, 2012, 09:48:08 am
Shameless plug  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 15, 2012, 12:36:57 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on August 15, 2012, 09:48:08 am
Shameless plug  :cool3:

Shameless plug? Me? Never? On again this afternoon at 4.30pm in case you missed it!! Please watch, I need another series to pay for my new army!!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 16, 2012, 12:48:22 pm
Update 79 – Thursday 16th August: Get those placards out, we're Campaigning.

Regular visitors to our true spiritual Mecca, aka the first floor room of the Spreadeagle Pub in Wandsworth, may have seen huddled groups of regular Warhammer players grouped around a map not actually playing any Warhammer. No we're not using a Ouija board to try and contact my social life from the other side of the grave, but instead we're engaged in the brand new narrative driven Warhammer Badlands campaign.

Gareth and Tom are our games masters for a variant of the Badlands campaign featured in The Battle of the Badlands campaign book that popped up around Christmas:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN436.jpg)

(I knew there was a reason I bought it!)

And myself and five other willing volunteers are taking on the experimental task of being the guinea pigs! In the hopes that we can iron out the teething problems, and allow more clubbers to take part. See we are living through these sacrifices for you dear player. You can thank me later.

I am part of Team Evil, in some shocking typecasting, as my oft-defeated Beastmen take to the table in an attempt to be put back in the figure case in record possible time.

My personal hope with the campaign had been that I could use this as an opportunity to encourage me to finish painting my Beastmen army (just a few bits to go), use some of my oft not used units and maybe even field the odd special character. To start with I wrote a wee bit of background for my army, so here we go...

Rashnrak the Beastlord strode into the clearing, he was the undisputed leader of his tribe, it was he who had crushed the other great tribes of the Badlands, he who had destroyed the Dwarven mines of the mountains and defeated the wagon train of the Empire.

Without word his Great-Bray Shamans arrived. Malagor, scourge of the Empire landed his great black wings furled up and his readied himself for battle. The terror of man, Malagor, had personally seen the wagon train of the Empire flee for their lives before his Gors ran them through mercilessly. Malagor himself plucked the Razor Standard from the Imperial Standard's cold dead hand, presenting it to Rashnrak's personal Centigors.

Delithor was the second Great Shaman of Rashnrak's tribe, his connection to the visions of the Chaos Gods was the strongest of any shaman known in the Badlands. He spoke to Rashnrak in a strange alien voice not of his own. "The humans come, and they bring their allies. This is your chance to rule the Badlands. The Hunter shall become the Hunted once more. As it was, as it always should be." As one the tribe roared, the blood of the hated one will soon be split, for the true Children of Chaos would take what was their due. And it would be Rashnrak who would deliver it.


No, I know it's not funny. I was having an off day. Ok. It might get funny, maybe I am practising to be a serious writer you never know. Anyway if you want to see the other army's backgrounds, maybe decide if any of them are funnier than me (never!), then you should have a look here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3142.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3142.0)

Here's our map of the Badlands, it looks a little a bit like the opening sequence to EastEnders I grant you.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/IMG_1618.jpg)

My empire is somewhere to the north, though I'm not sure which way up this photo is! But it's near a forest which seems appropriate.

So far I've turned a bit Skaven, having rolled on the random events table twice and managed to sow bad intelligence sending an Empire army in the wrong direction and used Sappers to destroy a Dwarf mine.

Additionally my main army led by Rashnrak has reached the centre city in the Badlands already, at the same time as the Dwarfs. I am to fight a massive stunty-smashing battle in a week's time to see what happens. Meanwhile one of my armies has stayed behind building mines and fortifications – very technical for Beastmen, and my final army has discover a Shrine to the Forces of Order, which in Beastmen style we've turned into a latrine – don't be disgusted it pretty much says as much in the Beastmen book!!

Anyway all this campaigning on a real map, inspired me, and feeling that three blobs of Blu-Tac weren't really suitable for army markers. I've only gone all sodding Blue Peter on yeah! Yep I found the perfect excuse to empty my substantial Beastmen bits box on the floor an get sticking together:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN352.jpg)

Apologies for my big toe and a random toothbrush being in shot, need to tidy up (not my toe of course – floor is a good place for it!).
So here's my unit markers:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN359.jpg)

This one is a spare set of horns from the Cygor/Ghorgon kit. I've cut a few of the hanging pieces of the base of the horns that hang too low below the base, and filled the forehead in with green stuff, so it will look like the horns are sprouting out of a rock. Rather than it being a forehead-less Ghorgon!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN368.jpg)

This one is three spare Minotaur shields, the post in the centre is a cut down version of the Gor banner pole, and the horns on the top I believe are a banner top from the Minotaur unit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN375.jpg)

The final one is a cut down Ungor banner pole, with banner. I've added a skull to the top from the Gor kit, the spears are again from the Ungor kit and I've based it with some rocks from the Warhammer basing kit.

They're all based on circular Warhammer 40,000 bases (from my Pink Horrors), because, well why not!

And because I love a good painting guide, here's how they were painted up. I know you're not going to read it, but as a treat if you do at the end I've written something very funny!

Stage 1 – Beastmen Army Markers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN387.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Drybrush Fortress Grey
Bone: Steel Legion Drab
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Rock: Chardonite Granite
Banner: 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Bindings: Scorched Brown
Elf Skin: Dwarf Flesh
Elf Hair: Dheneb Stone


Stage 2 – Beastmen Army Markers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN401.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Bone: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Rock: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Banner: Wash Devlan Mud
Bindings: Wash Nuln Oil
Elf Skin: Layer Elf Flesh
Elf Hair: Wash Nuln Oil


Stage 3 – Beastmen Army Markers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN404.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Bone: Layer Baneblade Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Rock: Drybrush Codex Grey
Banner: Add design in Scorched Brown, edged Chaos Black. Layer rest of banner Blood Red.
Bindings: Highlight Scorched Brown
Elf Skin: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Elf Hair: Highlight Bleached Bone


Stage 4 – Beastmen Army Markers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN414.jpg)

Base: Drybrushed Bleached Bone
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Bone: Layer Dheneb Stone
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Tin Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: Drybrushed Fortress Grey, then washed Nuln Oil
Banner: Layer design Beastial Brown. Layer rest of banner 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown.
Bindings: *NO CHANGE*
Elf Skin: Highlight Bleached Bone
Elf Hair: Highlight Skull White


Stage 5 – Beastmen Army Markers

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN434.jpg)

Base: Flock with Scorched Grass, then Snow and finally Snow stuck with PVA Glue mixed with Skull White
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Bone: Layer Bleached Bone, then layer Skulls and larger horns 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Tin Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Rock: *NO CHANGE*
Banner: Highlight design Snakebite Leather
Bindings: *NO CHANGE*
Elf Skin: *NO CHANGE*
Elf Hair: *NO CHANGE*
Elf Eyes: Dot Chaos Black and Skull White


POOOOOO! See told you I'd write something funny! They look pretty good to me if I do say so myself, and can also be used as markers or objectives in Warhammer games, so certainly not a waste.

I'll be back again in two weeks, I'm off for a well-earned holiday in Rome! What do you mean you think kid's television producers do no work and don't need holidays?! Bloody cheek.

See ya soon!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 17, 2012, 10:24:18 am
Another bloody holiday , why the cheek of it  :cool3:

Nice markers buddy, puts the rest of the group to shame, time for them to pull their fingers out.
Yes I am looking at you Sam and JD :bash;m: :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 17, 2012, 11:26:50 am
Quote from: fatolaf on August 17, 2012, 10:24:18 am
Another bloody holiday , why the cheek of it  :cool3:

Well my original hotel, the Ecuadorian embassy, is fully booked, so had to go further afield! It's my first holday (excluding business trips) since last June in fairness! v :wink;m::

Quote from: fatolaf on August 17, 2012, 10:24:18 am
Nice markers buddy, puts the rest of the group to shame, time for them to pull their fingers out.
Yes I am looking at you Sam and JD :bash;m: :cool3:

Yay!  :1st: I even got a Gold Star from Gareth, sadly he sent this in a PM and not on here, so I have no proof. But I want it noted when we have the Campaign Gold Star table to see who is star pupil!  :1st:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on August 20, 2012, 12:05:07 pm
Markers look great and per your closing comment, being covered in poo directly matches the beastmen fluff, so I didn't find it funny to see it mentioned there.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 28, 2012, 12:45:26 pm
Quote from: Dave on August 20, 2012, 12:05:07 pm
Markers look great and per your closing comment, being covered in poo directly matches the beastmen fluff, so I didn't find it funny to see it mentioned there.

Glad you liked the markers, it was fun to model and paint something a bit different! I will try harder with the funny comments.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 29, 2012, 08:34:53 am
Update 80 – Wednesday 29th August: Resistance is Futile.

Finally I've succumbed, after years of resisting, I've taken the plunge. Embraced the things that everyone else does. Joined another part of society. No I've not starting having a relationship, don't be stupid. Instead I have joined the world of Warhammer 40,000.

Yeah back in Update 50, you may remember I had my first tester game, which admittedly was a long time ago, and largely uninformative. But it was enough to get me excited about the game, and maybe give me something I can mix and match with Warhammer, as and when I get bored of placing Beastmen back in a box over the course (or should that be curse) of 6 turns.

So jumping on the excitement, if you can call 30 blog entries and about five months later "jumping", I "rushed" out and bought myself the brand new edition of Warhammer 40,000:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN439.jpg)

See the current edition I am fully up to date. What do you mean there's a new edition? Can't be. Oh FFS!!! You turn your back for five minutes and...

No, of course not. I know what I'm doing (shocking as that may seem)! I've been considering what Warhammer 40,000 army to go with. Primarily, I need not to end up with a vast army with lots of different units and models to collect (though I believe you futuristic people call them squads). That's the key, I can't have another High Elf/Beastmen project. Secondarily I want something fun and different to paint and play with.

So here's my thoughts on each of the armies:

Chaos Daemons – an interesting choice these, as I could potentially use them in both games system (though I will be referred to as a gamey t**t in at least one of the systems). And those brand new models last month are still oh so tempting. However I think that this would pose a basing quandary that would upset me, and I'd never find a way to base them that wouldn't annoy me in at least one game system. Plus surely the advantage of painting Warhammer 40,000 models would be to paint something I can't paint in Warhammer, and that's sort of been missed. No laser, no tanks. Don't think so.

Chaos Space Marines – as a regular Chaos player, Chaos Space Marines do appeal to me, and are up there in the choices. With tanks a plenty and familiar looking models, plus the opportunity to throw my soul in with Tzeentch again they are tempting. But I can't help but thinking I'm painting another Warriors of Chaos army again. And whilst the new Chosen in the brand new box set do look appealing, a lot of the models just aren't quite doing it for me.

Dark Eldar and Eldar – whilst these represent the obvious counterpoint to High Elves and Dark Elves, they've never really appealed to me, on a model basis. I just don't really like them, sorry! And there's no normal tanks, I want to paint tanks with wheels and tracks and tanky bits not odd floaty things. Anti-grav my arse. Actually that would be useful, and anti-grav arse I mean, as I could hover around. Must work on that.

Imperial Guard – Hmmm lots of thanks definitely, but they don't look that exciting to paint, I'm sure I'd get horrendously bored of camouflage patterns by about the first model. And tempting as all those tanks are, the infantry just aren't appealing to me.

Necrons – The futuristic Undead, who do remind me a lot of Star Trek's Borg. Maybe..., but there's nothing really exciting me about these, nothing bad but nothing grabbing me. And no real Tanks again. Big floating boxes, and luminous green, but no tanks.

Orks – The plan to make a small cheap to buy army, never, ever really works with Orks or Orcs. There's just too many of them and too many different options. Certainly not the starter army for me. Plus their tanks are too ramshackle.

Tau Empire – I just don't know anything about the Tau, they don't seem to represent any of the Warhammer races, so I am confused. And I just don't know their background. Models are ok. But again no tanks, and no real appeal – bar their drones which I quite like.

Tyranids – I understand the Tyranids well, but the models and concept don't appeal. To be honest I find them, well a bit odd. I really don't get them – sorry. So no thanks Tyranids.

Space Marines – I have to say whenever I've been flicking through the White Dwarf at the Warhammer 40,000 it's been the Space Marines that I've been drawn to. They have tanks, ones with tracks and guns, they look fun bright colours to paint (exciting as browns, greys and metals of the Warhammer world are), and their infantry look fun too. I've done a bit of research as regards Space Marines and as well as the "normal" variety, there's Blood Angels, Grey Knights, Space Wolves and Sisters of Battle(?! – I'm not sure about these being Space Marines, they're weird either way). And while these variants do look fun, for me the Ultramarines have always lured me in, I love the classic blue power armour what can I say. If they sold power armour in Superdry I'd be buying it in blue.

To that end I've picked up this army book (alright Codex – shut up I'm new!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN440.jpg)

And after having a flick through I'm pleased with the background and my choice of Ultramarines. After playing the dying race of High Elves and the marginal race of Beastmen it will be nice to play one of the more dominant races in the setting (backgroundly at least, if that makes any sense).

So there we go, if I have joined the Warhammer 40,000 world with Space Marines – which given the huge range of models and plethora of constant releases doesn't fill me with confidence of not spending a fortune on them. But no, I am going to be good, to be honest much as I enjoyed going crazy with the High Elves and Beastmen, I don't think I'd collect an army to such an extreme again. So it's going to be the models I want only, suggestions welcome of course (but I may ignore them!).

And yes to summarise I have gone for the default colour scheme/chapter in the most basic of basic armies in Warhammer 40,000. See even amongst a nerdy hobby I can still find extra ways to be even more boring than you expect. And you'd lost faith in me hadn't you? You thought I might have become exciting.

All of this explains hopefully why I tried to order Assault on Black Reach not Dark Vengeance from Ol. Sadly it was out of print so I couldn't get him from him, and I was forced to go into a dirty, lesser independent stockist. Blurrggghhh, I feel dirty. Spit on me now I am filth and have committed heresy against OG Games, I need to be flogged!!! I will go to confession soon, and apologise. Promise.

Tempting as it is to open up the box and get Space Marine building:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN441.jpg)

Warhammer 40,000 is going on the shelf for a little bit, yep I need no distractions from the High Elves and the Beastmen for a while, so until they are done no Ultramarines for me. Sorry, but to be honest I'm only acting now to get Assault on Black Reach before it became a goner.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN442.jpg)

So after building you up with all that Warhammer 40,000 excitement (but not actually doing anything), it's time to bring you crashing down with the downright disappoint that is my campaigning Beastmen. In gameplay, not campaign design I hasten to add.

Blood in the Badlands Campaign – Beastmen Weeks 1 & 2

Any of you who logged in last time (Update 79) will remember that I built these campaign markers for the Blood in the Badlands campaign, that my Beastmen are currently fighting it out in:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN434.jpg)

Well each of these tokens represents an army, and after trundling around the Badlands I finally got to fight a battle. Here's how Rashnrak got on (see Update 79 for the initial background):

Rashnrak cursed the Badlands, there was little in the way of beloved forest, just tracks and tracks of wasteland. He had yet to find any pray worthy of the hunt. But his army made good progress towards the central city, and it would bring great joy to his bestial heart to see those buildings demolished. No stone would lie on top of another stone, as it once was it shall be again.

Rashnrak had little time for those who dealt in magic, whilst Bray-Shamans were revered by his people he could barely stand them and their spells. He was a child of Chaos who devoted himself to the bloodshed alone, the humans called this element of Chaos Khorne, for him it needed no name it was what every bone in his body yearned for. Fortunately he had managed to leave Malagor and Delithor in charge of his other herds, whilst he pressed on. He knew they had been busy expanding the realms of uncivilization, and he knew they'd been in league with the devious Skaven. He would have no part of that, but the Skaven had so far provided trappers who had misdirected the armies of the Empire and collapsed a Dwarf mine which were good things. But Rashnrak had no time for these things. Whilst Malagor and Delithor discovered shrines and built mines, he would lead his army to glory and destroy the humans, they would be the hunted.

Rashnrak felt the comfort of having his own personal army with him, no spellcaster would accompany him in his herd, just as he would have no pathetic Ungor in his army. Those wretched sniffling half-humans were only good for repairing his chariots, they were cowardly and could not fight. Preferring instead to sneak around with bows. Instead Rashnrak was accompanied by his trusted Centigor led by Ghorros Warhoof, who was popular amongst the tribes, and he marched with his personal bodyguard of Bestigor. Soon the city would be his. But as the Beastmen arrived he smelt the unmistakable smell of dank mines and beer soaked beards, the Dwarfs had also arrived. He let forth a great roar as his army prepared for battle.


The scenario that Rashnrak's army faced involved advancing lengthways down the table, to try and capture a number of buildings from the Dwarf army. I had the option to both destroy buildings for extra points, and send some of my army as Vanguard – meaning they'd arrive on a table edge later in the battle. In addition Rob's Dwarf army was his exploratory force featuring no War Machines giving me a vague chance of victory.

My Beastmen army was 2,050 points (after getting a bonus 50 points from a mine), my background dictated that Rashnrak would not be accompanied by Ungor or Shamans, believing in his trusty Gor. His army would also have the regiment of renown the Centigor led by Ghorros Warhoof.

Ghorros Warhoof is a special character from the Beastmen book, though he counts as an upgrade to a Centigor unit replacing the champion rather than a Lord or Hero. His background is that he has fathered thousands of Beastmen should he be killed in battle the leadership of all Beastmen is increased for their primal fury tests!

With the above considerations I selected the following army:

Beastlord, Rashnrak – armed with the Stone Crusher Mace (+3 Strength, Strength 10 against any chariots, war machines, buildings etc.), the Talisman of Endurance (5+ Ward Save – like all good magic items I forgot I had this for the whole battle), Heavy Armour and the Chaos Gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Scaly Skin save). 251 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The Beast Banner (+1 Strength to all models in the unit). 193 points

20 Gor with Additional Hand Weapons, Light Armour and full command. 185 points

26 Gor with Hand Weapons, Light Armour, Shields and full command. 233 points

2 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 160 points

9 Centigors armed with Spear, Shield and Light Armour with musician, standard bearer with Razor Standard (unit has armour piercing rule, this standard is provided free within campaign rules – to even this benefit up I forgot to use the banner all game!). Unit is led by Ghorros Warhoof (Centigors in his unit gain +1 Weapon Skill. Should he be killed all Primal Fury tests for remainder of game are taken at +1 Leadership.) armed with the Mansmasher (all unsaved wounds = D3 wounds) and the Skull of the Unicorn Lord (Magic Resistance (2), unit is hated by Wood Elves). 401 points

20 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full command. 270 points

3 Razorgors. 165 points

3 Minotaurs armed with Great Weapons and Light Armour. 189 points

Total: 2,047 points.

I deployed the bulk of my infantry force, as shown (closet to farthest, from camera – Gors with shields, Bestigor, Razorgor, Gors with hand weapons, Minotaurs):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN443.jpg)

While Ghorros and his Chariots deployed as reserves to enter on a table edge, in the zone of out of focusness:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN444.jpg)

The Dwarfs deployed their Quarrellers in the tower, Slayers to the far flank, and two hordes of Warriors with Great Weapons in the village.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN445.jpg)

Turn 1

The Beastmen advanced towards the tower, whilst the Dwarfs moved up to aid the Quarrellers. The Quarrellers managed to shoot 3 advancing Bestigor.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN446.jpg)

Turn 2

The Razorgor took an early opportunity to get into combat with the Quarrellers, charging in to the tower, while the Centigors arrived on the flank threatening the flank of the Dwarf Lord's warriors.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN447.jpg)

In combat the Razorgor killed 8 Quarrellers but suffered 5 wounds in return thanks to the Quarrellers' Great Weapons. The Dwarfs failed their break test, but the presence of the Battle Standard nearby stopped them fleeing.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN448.jpg)

The Dwarfs countered by charging the Razorgor with the Slayers killing them all, but not before the monsters killed the Dragon Slayer giving him a worthy death.

Turn 3

The Beastmen declare a raft of charges the Bestigor charging the tower, the Minotaurs and Gors with extra hand weapons charging the Slayers. And the Centigors and Gors with shields charging the Warrior block. Sadly this last unit of Gors couldn't make the charge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN449.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN450.jpg)

Meanwhile the Tuskgor Chariots arrive on the flank and move to threaten the rear of the remaining Warrior unit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN451.jpg)

In combat Ghorros attempts to wound the Dwarf Lord hoping his Mansmasher can multiply the wounds, but the Lord's armour is too tough. The Centigors only manage to kill 2 Warriors, in return Ghorros and 3 Centigors are killed. Rashnrak, despite passing his Primal Fury test, only manages a single hit on the Quarrellers. The Bestigor make the kills up to 6, but Rashnrak takes two wounds in return. The Minotaurs completely miss the Slayers, and despite the Gor killing 4 Slayers the Battle Standard Bearer is killed and the Minotaurs flee.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN452.jpg)

In the Dwarf turn, the Warrior block reforms to face the Chariots at their rear, while the Centigors are wiped out in return for just 3 Dwarf Warriors. The Gor draw the combat with the Slayers and the Bestigor wipe out the Quarrellers.

Turn 4

The Dwarf Lord's Rune of Challenge forces the Gors with shields to charge their unit. The Tuskgor Chariots plough into the other warriors, now facing front on. Meanwhile the Minotaurs rally.

In combat the Tuskgor Chariots do 10 impact hits, all killing and a further 4 Warriors are killed by the chariots, in return for four wounds. Sadly the Warriors are steadfast. Rashnrak's Stone Crusher Mace makes swift work on the tower with the Bestigor finishing off the ruins. The Gor with hand weapons do exceptionally well killing 8 Slayers only losing three. The other Gor fare far worse killing only a single warrior for 9 loses, they flee but easily outpace the Dwarfs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN453.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN454.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN455.jpg)

The freed Dwarf Warriors now charge the Bestigor in the flank.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN456.jpg)

They kill 8 Bestigor in return for 4 loses, and Rashnrak's unit is forced to flee escaping. The Tuskgor Chariots are destroyed and the Slayers finally break and rundown the remaining Gor block.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN457.jpg)

Turn 5

The Minotaurs charge the Slayers in the flank, while the Bestigor rally. The remaining Gor block continues to flee.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN458.jpg)

The Minotaurs only manage three wounds, but it is enough to win the combat and stop the Slayers reforming.

In the Dwarf turn the Dwarf Lord and Warrior horde charges Rashnrak's Bestigor. Although Rashnrak and Bestigor put up a good fight killing 7 warriors they are all wiped out. One of the Minotaurs is struck down but they kill 6 Slayers increasing their attacks further.

Turn 6

The Gors finally rally but they are too far away to affect the game. While the Minotaurs now with 6 attacks each butcher the remaining Slayers.

The Lord and Warriors charge the Minotaurs. 7 attacks each makes no difference if you strike last and are killed by the Warriors first!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN459.jpg)

And with that it was time to add up the Victory Points, it was one point a unit, two points for destroying the tower and a point for any other buildings held. Sadly my losses made it a crushing 9-4 to the Dwarfs.

Rashnrak licked his wounds, the battle had not gone to plan. The large blocks of well-disciplined Dwarfs had been too powerful for his Gor to wear down. Particularly as they'd been unable to coordinate their attacks. His best Razorgor had been lost on the initial assault on the tower mainly due to the Dwarfs thrice cursed Great Weapons, which had even allowed the lowly Dwarf Quarrellers to wound him. He regretted having forgotten to put on his Talisman of Endurance now. Still at least his Stone Crusher Mace had allowed him to destroy that tower bringing down the structure on the carcasses of the Dwarfs inside.

Fortunately Ghorros had been found alive, badly wounded but alive, he was busy mating with most if not all of the Beastwomen in the tribe. Which was fortunate as Rashnrak would need a lot more Gor if he was to devastate the Badlands. Though Rashnrak was finding it most distracting seeing Ghorros's unique mating techniques. It was at this point that he regretted purchasing him the book Fifty Shades of Bray.


And on that appalling joke I shall leave it for this week, only to pause and say that in tragic news I have discovered that Procrastination is in fact bad for me. Turns out procrastinators are less healthy, happy and wealthy. See:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19389707 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19389707)

If only I could decide whether to do something about it or not.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 01, 2012, 11:01:03 am
I would read the article on the beeb, however, I can't be bothered. Oh well.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on September 01, 2012, 01:58:59 pm
Quote from: roland murat on September 01, 2012, 11:01:03 am
I would read the article on the beeb, however, I can't be bothered. Oh well.

Yeah I'm definitely going to read it, not right now tho........    :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 01, 2012, 02:07:14 pm
Quote from: roland murat on September 01, 2012, 11:01:03 am
I would read the article on the beeb, however, I can't be bothered. Oh well.

I think this is the general reaction to my blog that people experience!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 12, 2012, 09:24:49 am
Update 81 – Wednesday 12th September: The First Night at the Proms (subtitle: A Probably Unwelcome Attempt to Bring Culture to this Forum).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-1.jpg)

I am a slut, I am. I've betrayed you. I have. I've been blogging to other people behind your back. I'm sorry but I had to say it. The secret was killing me. I hope you can forgive me and we can move on. Ok so you want to know the sordid details of my betrayal before you judge, well read on...

The other week a link appeared in my Twitter feed (look at me modern technology – down with the kids), from The Royal Albert Hall inviting bloggers who'd never been to the BBC Proms to win free tickets to the event simply by blogging about the experience. To be honest I wasn't really sure about whether I was that bothered about the Proms, but knowing that I communicate far better through blogging than actually talking to real human beings I thought why not give it a go. The entry conditions were so simple, that even a lazy a**e like me who keeps putting off blogging, actually managed to get round to doing it. All I had to do was send two lines on why I should go to the Proms and an article I'd previously written. So I e-mailed with a line basically saying "I don't think the Proms are for me", and my article on how awful it is being single at a wedding. See Update 10.

Don't laugh, I've even got to be a best man this year. 

Reasoning I'd almost certainly scared off the organisers, I was surprised as you to find out that I'd actually won. Yes I had to go to the Proms and review one of their performances for the Royal Albert Hall website. Like a proper journalist(ish). In fact my blog was so popular with the massive Royal Albert Hall community, that I've got a whole two likes and no comments. So there you go my new bloggees don't love me so I've come crawling back. But if you want to laugh in the non-event of my new found blogger fame-dom, then check out this link:

http://life.royalalberthall.com/2012/09/prom-69-review/ (http://life.royalalberthall.com/2012/09/prom-69-review/)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-2.jpg)

Or alternatively, you may want to read the full uncut, director's edition of my blog (apparently my submission was too long – really? Me blog for too long?), then read on. Enjoy...

My name is Matt and I'm a Prom Virgin. If from that sentence your first thought is that this is a diary of an 18-year old American girl, trying to get off with a guy called Chad at the end of school dance, then I'm afraid you've got the wrong idea. I am of course referring to having never been to the celebration of classical music that is the annual BBC Proms.

I'm not really sure why I haven't been to the Proms before, I guess I've just never thought they'd be for me. I imagine the Proms is a bit like Opera, but with less Viking horns, less people singing about wanting Cornettos, and no one who looks like they're going to try and persuade me to Go Compare my car insurance. And without wishing to be rude, I always imagine that people who go to the Proms are quite posh, called Giles, wear burgundy cardigans and watch The Antiques Roadshow. And despite having a slightly unnatural love of all things Fiona Bruce, I've never really seen myself falling into that category. However having recently surprised myself about how enthusiastic a Union Flag waiver I can be at the Olympics, I thought why not see if I can carry on my nationalistic arm flapping at the Proms. This is where we come to our first snag, Union Flag waving only occurs at The Last Night of the Proms. Turn up any other night doing that, and whilst I'm sure you may not get turned away you will look like an over enthusiastic member of the BNP. I clearly had a lot to learn, so it was time to head to the Royal Albert Hall and see what the Proms were really like.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-3.jpg)

I was worried that turning up to my first Prom would make me feel a bit like a fish out of water. I'm the kind of person who if invited to a posh do, feels distinctly awkward. It's as if my invitation was an accident and I spend the entire event panicking that I will break something expensive. The good news on this front is that there is no dress code for the Proms, the majority of the audience was on the smart side of casual, and I certainly didn't stick out like a sore thumb in t-shirt and jeans. Saying that you can go too casual. If you are lucky enough to own your very own fluorescent lime green mankini, the Proms may not be the night for it. The other reassuring sign, about the level of class allowed in, was that on entering the Royal Albert Hall I found they actually sold those large bags of Cadbury's Giant Chocolate Buttons at the kiosk – a tiny part of me had worried it would be pheasant and truffles all the way!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-4.jpg)

Even the most architecturally snobby person, can't fail to be impressed by the interior of the Royal Albert Hall, I have been before, but the grand roof and impressive stage still take your breath away. There's a variety of seating options from high up in the rafters, where you need binoculars to see what's going on, all the way down to the excellent stall seats (where I was lucky enough to be sat) through to possibly the politest mosh pit in the world. Yes standing tickets are available for the Proms, though if you are worried I think it's unlikely any of the orchestra are likely to be crowd surfing anytime soon! And the good news with standing room tickets is that you won't be alone if you choose to sit or even lie down during the Prom, though there were a large number of audience members who commendably manage the herculean task of standing through the whole event.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-5.jpg)

Culture experience or no culture experience, I certainly couldn't have managed that. A word of warning here if you are lucky enough to be sat in the stalls, be cautious that the chairs do revolve slightly to let people get past you. I didn't realise this, and nearly had as Miranda-esque moment as I span off into a nearby Prom couple enjoying their ice creams.

The concert I'd been asked to review was Concert No. 69 (no s!@%$#%@ing at the back please), entitled "Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra – Messian & Mahler". Call me a cultural philistine, but I'll be honest I had no idea what any of that meant. I know!! What can I say; I was clearly off the day we did that at school. Saying that, it may well be worth doing a little bit of research prior to your visit to the Proms if you are a novice. Unless you're happy to stump up for a programme there isn't any information on what you are actually hearing. In fact bar an announcement regarding turning off mobile phones, nothing in the performance was actually spoken, which is a slightly odd experience in itself. We can only hope Jim Davidson decides to bring this format to his act sooner rather than later. I found that simply checking the BBC Radio 3 listings for the Proms, gave me a good enough brief guide to what I was going to be hearing. So if nothing else I'd suggest you head there. Obviously in the real world you may have had some input into choosing which Prom you go to, rather than having a random set of tickets land in your hand (like I did), but if a friend does take you along for example, I'd recommend taking five minute trip of Google to keep yourself informed (that five minutes doesn't include time spent procrastinating and internet shopping, whilst your meant to be looking!).

If like me, your experience to date of live musical performances consists of watching odd episodes of The X Factor and an unloved VHS of the Spice Girls 1997 tour that you're not quite sure why you own, then one of the striking things about the Proms is it isn't a visual experience. Don't get me wrong the sight of a full orchestra on the stage of Royal Albert Hall is certainly an impressive sight.  But once you've taken that in there's no other on stage movement really, there's certainly no dancing troupes and no epileptic-inducing pyrotechnic displays. Though it definitely was amusing to see one member of the orchestra produce a large mallet to sound one of the notes (I am not sure I was supposed to find that funny)! But whilst your eyes may not feel that taxed, your ears will be treated to a full audial spectacle. The music is amazing, and sounds brilliant in the domed hall. In fact you could be forgiven for just closing your eyes and allowing the music to wash over you, it's evocative nature taking your imagination to any number of places. Though I am not totally convinced that, that's the reason some of the more elderly Prom goers had their eyes closed!

Concert 69, performed by the Leipzig Gewandhaus Orchestra, consisted of an initial 31 minute performance of Messiaen's 1964 memorial to the dead of the two world wars – an understandably somber piece. This was followed by an interval and then an 85 minute performance of Mahler's Sixth Symphony, a rousing piece of music (yes I did look this up, I am not that cultured). Each of these performances, is interspersed with a number of tiny breaks, where I wasn't quite sure if you were supposed to clap or not. I felt I should, but wanted to wait for someone else to start instead – perhaps everyone in the hall was in fact waiting for someone else to start, and the orchestra just thought we were a really rude audience!! Either way these short breaks, are noticeably used for a good cough as everyone finally succumbs to that irresistible urge that annoyingly occurred about one second into the performance, where they desperately needed to cough up the contents of their throat. It sounds a bit like being in a hall of people trying to perform the world's largest synchronized sickie phone-in to the office. As a newbie I'd be prepared for this, as it can be unintentionally funny, to the unwarned.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM41-6.jpg)

So after an evening of Prom-ing (is that even a word?), what did I think? Well visiting the Proms is definitely a great spectacle and an experience worth seeing and hearing at least once in your life. The musical performances are absolutely amazing. I was pleasantly surprised that the event didn't feel as aloof as I'd perhaps unfairly expected. Personally, however, I think that this specific Prom possibly wasn't the most accessible for a complete newcomer and to be honest the 85 minute second piece was a little too long for my tastes, interests and comfort of my bottom (Just a cultural note – I do appreciate that, that was the length of the piece and it can't be abridged for the convenience of my posterior!). That said, I do think that choosing your first Prom appropriately is important. Perhaps using the guidance of a friend who knows more about it, or even starting with one of the more themed Proms, I believe would certainly lead to a good fun night out for a newcomer, and potentially engross you into the whole experience. I certainly think you have nothing to lose by giving it a go, and if they'll let me in the Royal Albert Hall they certainly won't throw you out for looking out of place. Who knows before long you could be attending every Prom in the next season, just promise me that you won't eat too many of those Giant Chocolate Buttons!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on September 14, 2012, 09:23:54 pm
Wow!  I actually went to the Proms to hear Mahler's 7th Symphony.  The 6th is well known for being an emotionally turbulent piece, with a finale that is unrelentingly tragic .  Perfect for you, I would have thought Matt.  Good to see your comments and that you weren't put off the idea of going again.

N.B. Clapping in between movements is a coarse Americanism that must be suppressed.  As is totally uncomped Warhammer tournaments.  See, how easily I bridged that divide?  How much respect I have just earnt back...  Well that presumes I had any to begin with, but really self-deprecation is done much better by someone else around here.

whisper *try listening to Radio 3 occasionally*  Don't listen to Classic FM, it really is for loooosers  :))
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 17, 2012, 09:36:35 am
Quote from: Toast on September 14, 2012, 09:23:54 pm
The 6th is well known for being an emotionally turbulent piece, with a finale that is unrelentingly tragic .  Perfect for you, I would have thought Matt.

Cheers for that Andrew much appreciated! How is the job at the Samaritans going?

Quote from: Toast on September 14, 2012, 09:23:54 pm
whisper *try listening to Radio 3 occasionally*  Don't listen to Classic FM, it really is for loooosers  :))

Sorry Radio 2 all the way for me!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2012, 01:36:09 pm
Update 82 – Thursday 20th September: Olympic Memories

Ok so I am probably the last person on the planet to write about their experiences of London 2012, in fact I've left it so late there are probably more people now writing about their experiences of Rio 2016, than London 2012. But hopefully you'll consider my musings not to be late, but simply to represent the first person to be reflecting on them from a whimsical distance (well I thought that excuse sounded good, anyway).

Regular readers of this blog may suspect that being the miserable old git that I am, I probably spent the months in the run up to the Olympic Games moaning about the cost, the corporate sponsorship, the expected travel Armageddon and the fact I was going to have Polaris missiles installed on my roof. I mean surely no cost can be too great for the construction of the largest McDonalds in the world? However ye of little faith, nothing could be further from the truth. Of course I wasn't happy, I was fretting, but I wasn't fretting about the potential Olympic disaster, instead I was fretting that I wouldn't get fully involved in this once in a lifetime event. As a resident of the host city of the greatest sporting event, I was worried a combination of lethargy, busy-ness at work and generally being useless at occasions of national excitement would result in me spending the entire Olympic and Paralympic month stuck at home playing Mario Kart.

Admittedly I had an Olympic wobble, my initial failing to get tickets in the ballot combined with seeing this depressing screen on my computer for longer than I care to think about:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-1_zps51fd4029.jpg)

All led me to wondering whether I was going to go at all. And was it me or was the Olympic ticketing website a lot like a dating website. You sat there sending off your initial message full of hope, only to get a depressing rejection an hour later. I suppose at least rejection was relatively swift.

However after a bit of luck on the ticketing website, combined with other people grabbing me tickets when they were lucky. I soon became an Olympic ticket whore, with tickets and travelcards (never underestimate the excitement of a zone 9 travelcard) to five events across the Olympic/Paralympic events.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-2_zpsccbe830d.jpg)

Yep sorry if you didn't get any tickets, it was me I stole them all! Hahaha!! I should at this point thank those people who managed to sort me tickets to the events, I'd name them all but they'd probably be annoyed if I associated them with this tragic blog so for their own piece of mind they can remain anonymous.

So to tell you all about my Olympic and Paralympic experiences I'll give you a quick montage-esque tour through the events I attended – you may wish to go and put a Heather Small CD on for added effect.  Apologies in advance for my poor photography, but hey if you've seen any of the Paralympics on Channel 4 you'll already know it won't be the worst coverage you'll see. Yes I won't be dipping out at a key moment to tell you how BT are paying for all this, or for David Beckham to give you an inspirational message.

Which all reminds I did hear a very funny joke about the Olympics, which I simply must tell you. The French Olympic team walked into the Aquatics Centre when...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-3_zpse920e866.jpg)

Sainsbury's sponsors Olympic and Paralympic Ranting only on DraMattics.

...and it turned out she was a monk in red swimming goggles! Hahahaha. Brilliant joke I'm sure you'll agree.

My first Olympic visit was to the Riverbank Stadium for the Hockey, this of course meant my first visit to the Olympic Park...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-4_zpsa0ca447c.jpg)

...my first glimpse of the Orbit in real life...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-5_zps19f47672.jpg)

...and my first opportunity to ignore London Underground's lie that it was best to get off at West Ham and walk. It wasn't, there was virtually no queue at Stratford you liars!

With that sorted I took up my seats in my first ever sporting event. The first thing you can't fail to notice on entering the Riverbank stadium is the colour, the bright blue and pink pitch.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-6_zpsa22051f8.jpg)

In fact the Olympic announcers took great pride in announcing how this was the world's only hockey stadium painted this colour, neatly sidestepping the obvious fact that only a moron would paint a hockey stadium these hideous colours. The second thing you'll notice is that the Riverbank Stadium has absolutely no shelter against the elements.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-7_zpsf5db0bd7.jpg)

This becomes even more evident during rain. Literally the second our first match (South Korea vs India) kicked off, the heavens opened and the rain started bucketing down. In fact at that moment the entire crowd wasn't watching the match as they were unpacking raincoats and umbrellas, for all anyone knows Nicholas Parsons could have run on the pitch stark bollock naked and made love to a scale model of the Hubble Space Telescope. We wouldn't know, we were getting our coats. It was at this miserable moment, when I wondered if I'd actually like sport. With the rain pouring over my body, a damp arse and a sodden, downtrodden Team GB flag I was forced to conclude I'd been right for the last thirty years, watching sport was crap.

But then I had a change of heart, the sun came out, two arguably better teams (sorry South Korea and India) came on to the pitch – Germany and The Netherlands, and a contingent of Dutch fans bedecked in their Easyjet livery entered the stadium. In the bright sunshine, the game came to life, I was with the crowd cheering every goal and amazing pass, aahhing at every missed opportunity and making that odd "ooo" noise whenever someone got smashed in the face with a hockey stick. Which was surprisingly often! Also I spent a lot of time laughing every time the German player Muller took a corner. A Muller Corner get it? Ahhh it's still funny now.

And with that I realised, the Olympics was for me. Whilst the Olympic Opening Ceremony convinced me that the Olympics were worth tuning in for (the BBC kindly providing Trevor Nelson as a vessel for the nation to offload its collective cynicism into), the Germany-Netherlands hockey match convinced me that I didn't need to be wearing a groove into my sofa to enjoy the Olympics.

There was even time for a traditional moronic photo with an Olympic medal outside the stadium.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-8_zpsefd03c3e.jpg)

Just to clarify I hadn't actually won a medal, despite me being odds on for the miserable blog writing event. On the plus side I was only the second most idiotic looking person in this photo.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-9_zpsfe63ec84.jpg)

My second Olympic visit was a trip to Eton Dorney, for the rowing, Britain had been dominating the medals here – but sadly they weren't competing in any of the events that day! I arrived at a Windsor & Eton Riverside Railway station to be greeted by a horde of happy smiling volunteers ready to guide me onto the shuttle buses, and then from these to the stadium.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-10_zps0e045a66.jpg)

The volunteers have to be one of the big success stories of the 2012 games happily guiding us to our seats, asking us for a cheery wave and just generally being nice. The irony of course, is that if we'd applied for paid staff they'd have almost certainly been nowhere near as good. Personally I'd like to keep the Olympic volunteers on a more permanent basis. I could do with a pink or purple clad enthusiastic person, reminding me what I've got to do today or pointing at my house keys with a giant pink inflatable hand when I can't find them.

You will undoubtedly have seen the impressive stadium at Eton Dorney on the television. I wasn't there, I was in the cheap seats – well I say seats, it was standing in a field. But it was referred to as the Meadow because that sounds a lot more pleasant and less like it will be full of cow pats.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-11_zps4683f115.jpg)

With the sunshine out and the Olympic bug well and truly caught I didn't mind, as I happily cheered home the Hungarians to several Gold medals, who knew they were rowing experts?! And despite the American commentator's rather annoying voice, my day 2 at the Olympics was a success.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-12_zpsfdc95006.jpg)

My final visit to the Olympic Games was to see the final games of the Men's Water Polo match. Before you make any comments about me going to see a sports event with scantily clad men, have a word with yourself and discuss whether you think this is appropriate behaviour befitting the Olympic spirit. Also bear in mind my seats were very far away, so you couldn't really see anything anyway!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-13_zps5b564edf.jpg)

The event started with a very tense Bronze medal match in which Serbia and Montenegro fought it out for the former Yugoslavian CD collection that was still unclaimed! The match was a real tense fight, with a number of fouls – the Serbian coach and assistant coach were banned from the poolside!! And came down to the final seconds as Montenegro scored their critical equaliser a fraction of a section too late, after the whistle went. Proving that sport is not written anything like a good film, the final match was comparatively dull with the result much more one sided and all sorted before we got anywhere near the final whistle.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-14_zpsf5b74bb1.jpg)

After this it was time for the medal ceremony, at this point I have to say I did find it quite rude the number of spectators who weren't prepared to wait around for the medal ceremony. This seemed quite lazy, particularly as it was only 4pm – and it was pretty much the last event happening so it wasn't like people had anywhere to be! A special place in hell surely has to be reserved for those who decided the most appropriate time to leave was during the winner's national anthem! Of all times!

Obviously I say all this, but in fairness I did feel a little bit of clapping fatigue set in, as I hadn't realised the Men's Water Polo event would need the presentation of 39 medals and 39 bunches of flowers as each of the thirteen strong teams were rewarded. Maybe I should have left early!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-15_zps7fcffcbe.jpg)

With the Olympics done it was time for the Paralympics. Clearly the Paralympics are an amazing thing, but in some ways it does feel like it goes against the Olympic and Paralympic spirit to say that these people can compete, but a few weeks later when the main event has finished. Surely the mark of equality for disability would be if the Paralympic events were hosted alongside the Olympic events without any distinction. I realise it may not be possible at present for them to compete together, but it does feel a bit odd to separate them in this way. In fairness I do realise that the Paralympic event is a relatively new in the Olympic schedule, and perhaps in the Olympiads to come we will see this join occur. As at present there's awful, awkward feeling that because of the smaller number of competitors, lacking international intention (yes America we are looking at you) and shorter schedule, the Paralympics is sort of an afterthought for the Olympics. It's like having a really amazing party and then announcing two weeks later you're going to have a not quite so big party – feels a little of a let-down. But as I say I think the Paralympics themselves are great, and the Paralympians are amazing, I just find this disjoint between them and the Olympics uncomfortable.

All that said the Paralympics, represented another opportunity for national excitement, more tickets for people who couldn't get Olympic ones, and some great sport.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-16_zps38abf4fd.jpg)

First up I finally made it into the main Olympic stadium to see the athletics; the only downside with the athletics is there's often so many events going on at once it's hard to concentrate on what's going on! Fortunately the stadium announcers were excellent in guiding us through the action. And if you thought it was difficult to tell if athletes had managed a good long/triple jump on the telly (as you try and work out where that depression in the sand ends), it's a lot harder in the stadium from about three-hundred metres distant at an awkward angle!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-17_zps69d63afe.jpg)

It was at this point that I remembered how bloody annoying Mexican Waves are, I mean seriously want is the point? I found a lot of the time spectators were more concerned in joining in with the Mexican Wave than actually watching the sport – surely it would be a lot cheaper to stand up for a few seconds at home, rather than paying a not inconsiderable amount of money to do it in the Olympic Park? Secondly at an event where a large amount of the athletes are confined to wheelchairs, isn't synchronised standing-up a tad insensitive? We wouldn't let visits to the Job Centre become a spectator's sport, with people waving their job contracts around – that would be wrong. Plus Mexican Waves represent the kind of communal camaraderie I've come to despise over the years. That said I had an amazing time in the stadium!

My final Paralympic event was at the North Greenwich Arena, which looked suspiciously like the O2, for the women's Wheelchair Basketball Final.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-18_zpsbdf47f22.jpg)

The Wheelchair Basketball was great, even if I did want to shoot the warm up man on many occasions. I think the real telling sign of the power of the Paralympics was shown to me here, as I found myself completely forgetting these people are disabled. It might sound an awful thing to say, but when you see a disabled person it can be hard to think past their disability. Whereas here, I was completely swept away in the amazing skills shown, such that when the commentator pointed out the disability of one of the substitutes I realised I'd completely forgotten that the participants in this event weren't fully able-bodied. And surely that's the greatest achievement that the Paralympics can make.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-19_zps5064a7fc.jpg)
On that important realisation, the final event at my Olympics and Paralympics were over, no more would I be swept away by the majesty of the sporting event, no longer would I be hanging on Claire Balding's every word, no longer would I be refreshing the webpage with the medal table. Instead I have now returned myself to the right and correct status of despising all sport and everything it stands for. I consider the Olympics more of a holiday and now feel I can detune Radio 5 Live from my radio. A great summer yes, life-changing, uplifting stuff that's going to make a new optimistic person – don't be stupid!

Promise some actual modelling stuff will come soon!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 20, 2012, 03:06:18 pm
In the middle of the review you mention mens volleyball, but picture looked surprisingly like a swimming pool... Safe to say I was confused until you mentioned the waterpolo presentation!

Glad to hear the paralympics made a greater impression on you.  Couldn't help but put me in mind of the episode where Cartmen fakes being mentally deficient to take part in the 'special olympics' equivalent, much hilarity followed. Was just glad to see none of your pictures went down that route  :wink;m::

Also pink and blue, I think you've just discovered your next armies colour scheme...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2012, 03:12:52 pm
Quote from: Dave on September 20, 2012, 03:06:18 pm
In the middle of the review you mention mens volleyball, but picture looked surprisingly like a swimming pool... Safe to say I was confused until you mentioned the waterpolo presentation!

Good spot! That has been changed. I am a fool!

Quote from: Dave on September 20, 2012, 03:06:18 pm
Also pink and blue, I think you've just discovered your next armies colour scheme...

Ultramarines maybe? Blue with Tentacle Pink trim?
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on September 20, 2012, 03:21:34 pm
Erm, where was the mention of my good self...

We shared a tender moment via twitter in the Olympic Stadium that has been cruelly forgotten.

I am crushed...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2012, 03:40:36 pm
Quote from: Steve H on September 20, 2012, 03:21:34 pm
Erm, where was the mention of my good self...

We shared a tender moment via twitter in the Olympic Stadium that has been cruelly forgotten.

I am crushed...

It remains a special moment to me too. But I was worried about reporting it as I have a unnatural fear of litigation.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 25, 2012, 08:45:54 am
Update 83 – Tuesday 25th September: This Blog Entry is Brought to you by the Colour White

With the exception of a dark sabbatical in my late teenage years, I've been the owner of a White Dwarf subscription since somewhere around White Dwarf 150. Every month I have been excited by the thump on my doormat as the latest edition of the gaming magazine arrives. My flatmate refers to it as "Matty Porn", seeming oblivious to the fact that it's actually the site of the postman I'm masturbating over. What can I say? Who doesn't love a man, who can empty their sack into your letterbox? Apologies, I watched a Carry On film last night, it's having a terrible effect.

The point of all this blathering is that this weekend I was in for a juicy surprise as the brand new White Dwarf appeared in my hands. Instantly I let slip a mildly camp "oooo", and a little bit of wee came out – well the postman was still around! Enjoyable read as the White Dwarf always, this month it has gone from cheaper looking chuck-on-the-floor magazine, to posh-looking read that I'd leave on the coffee table to look sophisticated (admittedly I have a limited view of what sophisticated actually is!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN951_zps1b9bf79a.jpg)

The new White Dwarf – October 2012 (interestingly it's no longer given a number, which seems odd so close to the 400th edition), is a bummer to those of you hoping to complete the picture on the spines of all the 2012 White Dwarfs (bet you are rushing to your pile of back issues now), but it is a glossy, shinny, publication also available on iPad (I don't have one – sad face). The biggest change I've noticed is that I can no longer read it in the bath, it just looks too nice to risk getting wet. I like reading the White Dwarf in the bath – as you can see in this picture, but are you feeling brave enough to open the spoiler?:

[spoiler]
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN949_zpse7d4c9b0.jpg)

See it was alright in the end![/spoiler]

But no more, instead I shall be reading it with tea and cucumber sandwiches on the veranda. However other than a new glossy look, what does the new White Dwarf have inside. Well in a sort of Watchdog-esque report, I have taken the role of the much face-lifted Anne Robinson to report on the various face-lifts of the White Dwarf over the years. To do that I've grabbed a bunch of White Dwarfs from the various eras for comparison, as I look at how the current magazine's content rates against that of its predecessors:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN955_zps6f19166f.jpg)
I should at this point out that I don't have any White Dwarfs from around the 260-310 mark, so if there's a phase where they gave out free Jelly Tots on the cover then I may have missed it  god dam it!! The White Dwarfs I've chosen at random(ish) are:

White Dwarf (394) – October 2012
White Dwarf 380 – August 2011
White Dwarf 322 – October 2006
White Dwarf 224 – August 1998
White Dwarf 182 – February 1995

As always when comparing products over time, cost and value come into it, so I've tabulated the number of pages, cost and cost adjusted for inflation for you perusal:

White Dwarf October 2012 (394):
Pages: 152, Cover Price: £5.50, Price in today's money: £5.50

White Dwarf 380:
Pages: 120, Cover Price: £4.50, Price in today's money: £4.64

White Dwarf 322:
Pages: 128, Cover Price: £4, Price in today's money: £4.78

White Dwarf 224:
Pages: 104, Cover Price: £3.50, Price in today's money: £5.29

White Dwarf 182:
Pages: 88, Cover Price: £2.25, Price in today's money: £3.71

I'll allow you to make your conclusions from that, certainly this is the biggest White Dwarf has been, and using inflation adjusted prices it does work out cheapest per page of the five I've chosen. Enough boring statistics, we leave them for the accountants. Onto the most important thing, the content.

Miniatures, miniatures, miniatures – the focus of the brand new White Dwarf is certainly this month's new model releases (which slightly frustratingly for this Warhammer based reviewer, were the Chaos Space Marines). These a great big chunk of the magazine dedicated to snaps of the new models (it's page 52 before we get to an article!). The pictures are certainly new and glossy and show off the models very nicely, there's even a pull-out section, which is slightly frustrating for me because I am a poorly coordinated idiot and, much like a map, can never fold them away properly:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN957_zpse5f305c1.jpg)

Interestingly details on the prices and the specifics of kits (number in the box, which kits make multiple models etc.) are left until an index section:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN962_zps8e7e4e4e.jpg)

Compare this to the more recent White Dwarfs, and you'll see how the clutter of prices and box artwork has been tidied away. As the models are no longer pictured on the familiar white background:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN964_zps7b359ac7.jpg)

Of course all this showing off of new models may seem obvious, but it certainly hasn't always been the way. Back in the days of White Dwarf 182, we were given a list of new releases but other than a couple of cursory snaps you had to hunt them down in the magazine.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN968_zps78690efe.jpg)

For example the brand new Daemonettes on Steeds of Slaanesh and Plaguebearers of Nurgle, released back in White Dwarf 182, are listed here on Page 3. But the suspense is well and truly taken to X-Factor style limits and beyond as you have to flick to page 48 (randomly sandwiched between other articles) to actually see them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN970_zpsbbf6bcba.jpg)

And of course next to them is the traditional reprinting of rules from the army book/codex that has filled White Dwarf throughout the ages. This always seems odd as without the relevant book, where the rules already are, you can't really use the models anyway. Pleasingly the new look White Dwarf didn't appear to feature any copied material straight from the army/codex books.

Up next in our brand new White Dwarf we get some of the new articles, there's an Army of the Month. This month's army is by Ben Johnson, which sounds like a familiar name I see when I blunder into the tournament sections of this forum or get caught up in a Twitter feed that makes no sense (remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers – plug, plug, plug!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN973_zps65d390f4.jpg)

Of course this is nothing new:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN980_zps50d6190f.jpg)

But, and this comment applies to a lot of the articles, they do feel a lot better photographed, you see a lot of the models from a variety of good angles, but not without sacrificing the text.

After this we have our old friend Standard Bearer, though not called Standard Bearer, ironically after what I've just said this has now become more diverse of photos – unless you happen to what to drool over Jervis Johnson. I don't.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN982_zpsd5d00aef.jpg)

On then to the staple of White Dwarfs, the Battle Reports, these have existed throughout the years. I have to confess that I've turned into my Dad – no I've not started wearing flat caps (seriously why would anyone buy one of those unless they deliberately wanted to look 20 years older than they actually are?), and complaining constantly that my back aches and that I'm tired (actually I do, do that). No what I meant was, in respect to battle reports I find myself constantly moaning that they used to be better in the old days.

I worked out that what it is, is that I need maps to follow to work out what's going on. Back in the old days Battle Reports had a plethora of maps at least one per player turn:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN987_zps1d40bed3.jpg)

More modern battle reports have tended to move away from the battle map in favour of sweeping battle shots often merging player turns into game turns, and maybe only giving us a clear view of the battlefield every two turns:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN989_zps6ba268f3.jpg)

Maybe my old addled brain is getting confused in its old age, but sometimes I've found it impossible to work out what the hell is going on in the battle report!

Having looked into this before, I've found that the same number of pages have pretty much always been given over to battle report it's just the more modern ones have been dominated by photographs squeezing the maps out. The old battle reports had surprisingly few pictures.

So it was with trepidation that I read the first new battle report of the new White Dwarf. And initially I was appalled by the lack of maps! My beloved maps were all gone. However I was wrong to judge as I actually found the larger number of pictures from different angles helped me to keep up with the battle a lot better than previously:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN994_zps1ed4f8e4.jpg)

I also liked the breakdown of what the battle report is trying to show, page 62, I've often thought that it's obvious battle reports are trying to shoe in as many new models as possible, so it's good to know that's the plan!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN998_zps7f48f72c.jpg)

I will say however that I'd quite like it if the text was broken down into turns again, as I'm finding that a bit tricky. And sometimes I found that when the pictures weren't directly referenced in the main text you sometimes got out of sync between where you should be in the text and where you should be in the pictures. That said, I quite like the new battle reports and look forward to seeing how they evolve. If only I had an iPad I could view the bonus content – sad face, puppy eyes, anyone want to give me a very generous gift? It's the least you can do to thank me for the years of service given to entertaining you with this blog.

Next we have The Rivals, possibly a new regular feature, where two players discuss their different opinions on part of the game:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1000_zps4920a73b.jpg)

Interestingly I can find opinion pieces in the old White Dwarfs, such as the amazingly funny series by Mike Walker (I taught him everything he knew):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1004_zps0475188d.jpg)

Though it seems to be quite rare to find pieces with multiple points of view presented, which may be more of a reflection of the kind of discussions which now take part on the various Podcasts – which admittedly I haven't listened to. I know, I know, I must get round to it, maybe if I got invited on I'd listen – basically I am a shallow bitch.

Paint Splatter is the latest painting guide:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1005_zps0be5ad72.jpg)

What's interesting here is that rather than focus on one model, there's loads of tips for the various models you've seen throughout the magazine. I like this as it's much easier if you're going back through old White Dwarfs trying to find a painting tip for a new bit of model you've never painted before, all the tips are gathered, rather than having to look through the footnotes of all the articles.

Also importantly, there's lots of pictures – great as this guide of the Dark Elf Lord (White Dwarf 380) is, there's lots of talk and not many snaps:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1010_zps33d6c9a7.jpg)

Or previously you had a whole double page spread telling you how to pant one part of this model, like Orc skin (White Dwarf 322):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN977_zps5f95b092.jpg)

I say all this, of course I waffle on enough in my own painting guide, but hey I don't charge for this crap so you can't judge me. Unless of course you buy me an iPad then I'll write the blog however you like.

After all this we come to the usual round-up of all the places you can buy models, which I'm sure you, like me, just skim straight through:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1014_zps2a2045ae.jpg)

Though be warned this isn't at the back of the magazine any more, don't put it down when you get here, there's more stuff to come. On a side note does anyone fondly remember these pages:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1020_zps2f6ecee4.jpg)

Oh happy memories of starring in awe at the models here.

As we get to the back of the magazine we get to This Month Section:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1022_zpse5f92615.jpg)

This section is essentially a bit of fluff about what the GW staff have been up to this month. And I have to say I do like it, it just a little bit of that soul and heart that Games Workshop, I feel, has lost recently. I mean it's not the silly cartoons and Fat Bloke comments of past:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1026_zps289c6e90.jpg)

And it's not the sometimes frank commentary of the old days, when games designers would actually say what they don't like about the rules etc. But I do think it's a good step into just making the whole publication and company seem a little bit more personal and friendly – I'll watch this column with keen interest to see how that develops.

Part of this section is This Month in the Design Studio, which includes all the design notes about the new Chaos Space Marines Codex.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1027_zps63bb7663.jpg)

I have to say this section, I'm not sure about. I like reading the design notes and they feel a bit shoved at the back and short here. In fairness it's difficult to judge with a Codex (not being a Warhammer 40,000 goer). I may be better placed to judge next month as I've heard a vicious rumour that my beloved Warriors of Chaos are getting a new book – very excited!!

Personally I liked the previous White Dwarf's style on this, where design notes were intertwined with army lists and photos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1032_zps1607e1c3.jpg)

But in fairness at least we got some, back in White Dwarf 224, the release of an entire supplement for Warhammer – Warhammer Siege was greeted with a couple of rules they couldn't fit in and a guide to making a moat:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1035_zps0c0bc9f5.jpg)

You literally wouldn't have found any clues in the White Dwarf as to what the rules are going to be like, and whether you were going to like the product or not!

So there we go I've made it through the White Dwarf, and you've made it through my tedious ramblings. What did you think? Of the White Dwarf not of my ramblings – I know what everyone thinks about them. I for one quite like the new White Dwarf, on balance, hopefully my few quibbles will be sorted and I'll be interested to see how much I enjoy a more Warhammer heavy issue. And remember if anyone does what to send me that iPad...

High Elves

Moving on from the White Dwarf to other white things, I realise I've not updated you on my High Elves – the good news is I have very, very, very nearly finished them all. So in my trademark boring style, (no this section hasn't had a facelift) here's some painting guides and finished models.

First up is my Repeater Bolt Thrower, which I left you on a cliff-hanger with back in Update 79 when I gave you the first three steps of the painting guide! Well here it is finished:

Stage 4 – Repeater Bolt Thrower

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN753_zpsadcee238.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock with Static Grass
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
White Robes: Highlight Skull White
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Grass: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Yellow Trim and Feathers: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh


Up next there's a trusty second Tiranoc Chariot:

Stage 1 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN189_zps7e13d6d0.jpg)

CHARIOT:
Wood: Khemri Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Yellow Detail: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Detail: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue

HORSES:
Horse Flesh: Adeptus Battlegrey
Rocks: Charadonite Granite
Masonry: Calthan Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
White Robes: 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Fabric: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Fabric: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown

CREW:
White Robes: 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Fabric: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Fabric: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Wood: Khemri Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh


Stage 2 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN255_zps93fde451.jpg)

CHARIOT:
Wood: Watered down Graveyard Earth (except Main Frame, layer: 1:1 Steel Legion Drab/Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth)
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Yellow Detail: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Detail: Highlight Ice Blue

HORSES:
Horse Flesh: Layer Codex Grey
Rocks: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Masonry: Wash Nuln Oil
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
White Robes: Layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Fabric: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Fabric: Highlight Ice Blue (except Barding, layer: 1:1 (1:1 Ice Blue/Enchanted Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue)
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil

CREW:
White Robes: Layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Fabric: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Fabric: Highlight Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Layer watered down Graveyard Earth
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh


Stage 3 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN331_zpsc11253c4.jpg)

CHARIOT:
Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Leather: Layer Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Yellow Detail: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Detail: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White

HORSES:
Horse Flesh: Highlight Fortress Grey
Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
White Robes: Layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Fabric: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)/Ice Blue, then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Leather: Layer Beastial Brown

CREW:
White Robes: Layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Fabric: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)/Ice Blue, then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver Metal: Highligh Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Leather: Layer Beastial Brown
Wood: Layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone then layer Bleached Bone
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh


Stage 4 – Tiranoc Chariot

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN759_zps76df9ab5.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN766_zps9f76f9c8.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN762_zps91e0f0b8.jpg)

[(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN768_zps13aca94a.jpg)

CHARIOT:
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Yellow Detail: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Detail: *NO CHANGE*

HORSES:
Horse Flesh: Wash Nuln Oil
Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey, then wash Nuln Oil
Masonry: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Hooves: Highlight Fortress Grey
White Robes: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Fabric: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Fabric: Wash watered down Asurmen Blue
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: *NO CHANGE*

CREW:
White Robes: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Fabric: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Fabric: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Wood: *NO CHANGE*
Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh


There's the finished chariot, but where did that banner come from I don't hear you cry? Well for those of you interested in the banner, there must be some of you – as per usual it was copied out of my handy copy of Warhammer Armies: High Elves. Here's a quick guide:

Stage 5 – Tiranoc Chariot Banner

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN473_zpsf8ecfd1c.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN478_zpsb0088319.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN485_zpsbe9281ae.jpg)

BANNER:
Blue Fabric: As Stages 1-4 above, then watered down Asurmen Blue
Banner Field: Paint Necron Abyss, then layer Regal followed by Regal Blue mixed with increasing amounts of Enchanted Blue (layered lightest at bottom of banner).
Symbol: Outline Chaos Black, layer Iyanden Darksun, then layer Golden Yellow, then highlight Sunburst Yellow followed by washing Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Gem: Layer Chaos Black, paint corner (with smaller and smaller section) Scab Red, then Red Gore, then Blood Red, then Blazing Orange. Highlight opposite corner Skull White
Stars: Paint on Shadow Grey, highlight Ice Blue, then highlight Skull White


And the final unit for the High Elves, is my White (see theme continuing) War Lions of Charce, useful for themed games or Storm of Magic, these are simply the spare War Lions from my Tiranoc Chariots:

Stage 1 – War Lions of Chrace

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN204_zps35c6b30b.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN211_zps36363ee2.jpg)

Base: Khemri Brown
Lion Skin: Dheneb Stone
Lion Fur: Dheneb Stone
Rocks: Charadonite Granite
Grass: Goblin Green
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Armour Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Claws: Chaos Black
Teeth: Khemri Brown
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh


Stage 2 – War Lions of Chrace

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN237_zpsd037b1d1.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN247_zps76b58303.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Lion Skin: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Lion Fur: Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia
Rocks: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Grass: Layer Camo Green
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Armour Trim: Highlight Ice Blue
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Teeth: Wash Nuln Oil, then layer Baneblade Brown
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh


Stage 3 – War Lions of Chrace

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN341_zps02d060e6.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN335.jpg)

Base: Coat Baneblade Brown
Lion Skin: Layer Kommando Khaki
Lion Fur: Wash Graveyard Earth then wash 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Scorched Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Grass: Wash Thraka Green
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Armour Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Teeth: Layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh


Stage 4 – War Lions of Chrace

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN771_zps9be243f5.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN775_zps0f61095f.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN778_zps7b5e4d09.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN780_zpse2ebec6d.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN788_zpsb5e83004.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone then flocked with Static Grass
Lion Skin: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Skull White
Lion Fur: Highlight Desert Yellow
Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey then wash Nuln Oil
Grass:  *NO CHANGE*
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: *NO CHANGE*
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Armour Trim: *NO CHANGE*
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone
Teeth: Highlight Bleached Bone
Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh
LION EYES: PAINT CHAOS BLACK, DOT VOMIT BROWN THEN PAINT FURTHER CHAOS BLACK CIRCLES


And that peeps is the last three units/war machines done for the High Elves. Next week I should have the final few characters start to trickle through! Exciting, I know!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on September 25, 2012, 02:57:48 pm
hmmmm, Has Sid Meier hacked the @ProByNumbers twitter feed?


(EDIT: More to the point does the new expansion make Civ V actually playable yet? ..or am I better off sticking with Civ4 for a few more major patches? )
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 25, 2012, 03:50:41 pm
Can't wait until the new high elf book is released and they bring out a whole load more new units for the army list!  I want to know if you'll be happy to update the completed elvezes or if it will send you into a thorough nerd rage.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 25, 2012, 04:04:05 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on September 25, 2012, 02:57:48 pm
hmmmm, Has Sid Meier hacked the @ProByNumbers twitter feed?


(EDIT: More to the point does the new expansion make Civ V actually playable yet? ..or am I better off sticking with Civ4 for a few more major patches? )


Nop I am just loving Civ at present, what didn't you like about Civ V - that will help me say if the new expansion pack fixes it!

Quote from: Dave on September 25, 2012, 03:50:41 pm
Can't wait until the new high elf book is released and they bring out a whole load more new units for the army list!  I want to know if you'll be happy to update the completed elvezes or if it will send you into a thorough nerd rage.

Nerd rage - merd smage. Nope as long as they don't make my units redundant or mean I have to rebase them or change or ther weapons options, it will be nice to revisit the High Elves for a few more units every now and again - can't imagine a situation where I will need to paint as much as I already have again. See rational person!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on September 25, 2012, 04:33:48 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 25, 2012, 04:04:05 pm
Nop I am just loving Civ at present, what didn't you like about Civ V - that will help me say if the new expansion pack fixes it!

I grabbed it when it first came out and the balance and timing on the game seemed horrific...  You'd give the biggest pile of gold the world had ever seen to a city state and they'd like you for barely 5 turns before returning neutral, buildings took forever to build and unless you managed to perfectly position a city with a pile of food one side and range of mountains full of iron the other they'd be hopelessly unproductive and no amount of tile improvements would help the situation.

Also it felt kinda 'dumbed down' alot from Civ4, in the old one after its expansions you could bring a stronger civ to heel several ways, say using religion and the Apostolic palace, financially ruin it with corporations or paralyse it when it was a few turns off cultural victory with an army of spies.... it just felt they took a whole load more stuff 'out' than they put new stuff 'in' when they moved to CivV.

Also had already been bitten once with Civ4: Colonization  (but then I had the time/inclination to write a 1st week mod which made the game playable...  -> 900+downloads on civfanatics :thumbsup: ) but CivV I thought I'd let them put their own house in order and sit it out back in good old Civ4 for another year or so.

I dunno the pace of Civ4 just seemed spot on whatever speed or difficulty you had it on, you could manage to build most of the key buildings in most cities and have a 'reasonable' army, retard yourself slightly for a bigger army or go hell for leather for tech and pray nobody worked out you had 3 archers defending half your empire....  Civ5 kicked off and my most productive city with as healthy a supply of hammers, gold and food as you could hope for on a typical map had just about managed to pump out a spearman, barracks, and library by 800AD, by then I had tech for musketmen or some other vaguely cool unit but by 1500 AD I might just about have been able to build one. I vaguely found it playable as Germans using their ability to build some degree of an army from barbarians but seeing forums full of similiar issues thought I'd cut my losses and ragequit back to shooting zombies in L4D.

If the balance and pacing is sensible now I might be tempted to fire it up again.....  (as if I need something else to waste time on  :endit:)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 25, 2012, 06:16:41 pm
Nice review of the mag Matt. Did anyone feel slightly concerned by Jervis' comments as to why they don't include many limitations any more?

For those who haven't read it but want to I won't elaborate but I'm sure you will get my drift.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on September 25, 2012, 08:51:59 pm
Great work as always, I like the Lions.  The whole army looks grand, but I really like the lions.

(awimba-way, awimba-way, awimba-way, awimba-way)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on September 25, 2012, 10:48:20 pm
Amazing banner work Matt :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 26, 2012, 02:48:49 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on September 25, 2012, 04:33:48 pm
If the balance and pacing is sensible now I might be tempted to fire it up again.....  (as if I need something else to waste time on  :endit:)

As regards Civ - expansion pack adds in religion and espionage, but generally not changed that much. Tend to find building times not really a problem, but you need to manage your Civics well to do well.

Quote from: roland murat on September 25, 2012, 06:16:41 pm
Nice review of the mag Matt. Did anyone feel slightly concerned by Jervis' comments as to why they don't include many limitations any more?

For those who haven't read it but want to I won't elaborate but I'm sure you will get my drift.

Cheers dude. I think what Jervis refers to more means limiting things like 0-1 Grail Knights, or the revision he mentioned back when Warriors of Chaos got their last book where they lifted the restriction on taking units with a different mark to the army's general. As these things tend to limit the way people can collect the army, or forcing them to take things like an Unmarked Chaos Lord to make their army work. I see what you mean about adding extreme restrictions to tough units, but in some ways aren't these best left for comp? If I want to collect 4 Steam Tanks for a massive 15,000 point Empire army (for example) rules shouldn't stop me. Individual comp, and simply chosing an appropriate army list for your opponent should surely control that better. Either way whatever restrictions made people will still be dirty and filthly. At least this way themed armies aren't penalised.

Quote from: TkaiC on September 25, 2012, 08:51:59 pm
Great work as always, I like the Lions.  The whole army looks grand, but I really like the lions.

(awimba-way, awimba-way, awimba-way, awimba-way)

Cheers I will be humming that all day!!!

Quote from: Garzini on September 25, 2012, 10:48:20 pm
Amazing banner work Matt :)

Thanks, really pleased with how this one came out!!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 08, 2012, 11:00:58 am
Update 84 – Monday 8th October: The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord

Those of you who read this blog will probably excitedly be on the edge of your seat to find out what has happened to Rashnrak the Beastlord and his rampaging hordes as they explore (read "die"), all across the Badlands. No? Oh, ok, well I am afraid that is what we have for today. Sorry.

If you want to know the story so far, then make sure you check out Updates 79 and 80 and precede reading them by saying out loud "Previously on Procrastination by Numbers..." in an American voice.

For those of you who just want to read on..., here goes:

Rashnrak regrouped back at the Herd Stone, his army had been running for a long time. Cursed Dwarfs, and their wretched stunty plans, they had wrecked his ambitions of conquering the central city of the Badlands and pulling it down stone by stone. Were he to fight those Dwarfs again, he knew hatred would fill his bones and he would be prepared to fight to the death.

Fortunately better news greeted him when he met his Shamans at the Herd Stone. Delithor had been in a vision for days, communicating directly with the Chaos Gods, thanks to this premonition Rashnrak's armies had gained the upper hand and were able to move more rapidly than those of his rivals. Additionally his gold mine had, had a good haul which would be able to be spent well on reinforcements for the coming battles.

With Spring coming to an end Malagor had been informed by the filthy Skaven that the forces of evil were to make a move on the ruined city of man. Whilst Rashnrak hated colluding with the warpstone mutated things, he could smell the man-things and stunties converging at the central city. And with encouragement from his shamans, he agreed to follow the Skaven's plans. The ironclad metal humans would attack the citadel directly defended by the infernal Empire, whilst the Skaven attacked the Dwarfs directly in the tunnels below, in the hopes of bringing down the walls of the citadel. The ratman had insisted that the Beastmen push their infernal war machine towards the battlefield. With such an important prize on the horizon Rashnrak decided to cooperate with the filthy vermin, well for now at least...


So it was the end of the Spring season, and it was time for a multiplayer battle to take control of the citadel. With the unfortunate, err..., umm..., loss on the Beastmen's part last turn (who was in control of them again?), the forces of good controlled the city. They elected to have the Empire fortify the walls, whilst the Warriors of Chaos assaulted the city. Meanwhile the Dwarfs and the Skaven would fight under the walls as the Skaven tried to destroy the city from below. Rashnrak's Beastmen would attempt to push a potent siege engine through the forests avoiding the Lizardmen patrols. All the battles would be fought simultaneously with the victors of the secondary battles able to join the Empire vs Warriors of Chaos battle with their reinforcements.

The scenario would see my Beastmen attempt to push essentially a mobile building across the battlefield; the Lizardmen would be hidden at strategic positions across the battlefield, and would be revealed as the Beastmen advanced. If I didn't clear the battlefield in 5 turns, then the Lizardmen would win and the remainder of their army would reinforce the Empire, otherwise the Beastmen would arrive with the siege engine and any surviving troops.

For my army selection I was to use 2,000 points of Beastmen, with the restrictions of having to use Rashnrak and my regiment of renown (Ghorros and Centigors) a large chunk of points were already spent – with my other background restrictions – Rashnrak's dislike of Ungor and distrust of Bray-Shamans, the army had quite a few limits so here's what I plumped for:

Beastlord, Rashnrak – armed with the Stone Crusher Mace (+3 Strength, Strength 10 against any chariots, war machines, buildings etc.), the Talisman of Endurance (5+ Ward Save), Heavy Armour and the Chaos Gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Scaly Skin save). 251 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The Beast Banner (+1 Strength to all models in the unit). 193 points

40 Gor with shields and full command. 345 points

2 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 160 points

9 Centigors armed with Spear, Shield and Light Armour with musician, standard bearer with Razor Standard (unit has armour piercing rule, this standard is provided free within campaign rules). Unit is led by Ghorros Warhoof (Centigors in his unit gain +1 Weapon Skill. Should he be killed all Primal Fury tests for remainder of game are taken at +1 Leadership.) armed with the Mansmasher (all unsaved wounds = D3 wounds) and the Skull of the Unicorn Lord (Magic Resistance (2), unit is hated by Wood Elves). 401 points

15 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full command. 210 points

2 Razorgors. 110 points

5 Harpies. 55 points

Cygor. 275 points

TOTAL: 2,000 points

The plan, yes I actually had one, was to use the Bestigor and Rashnrak to occupy the siege engine, they would march along with the Gor block. The Harpies and Razorgor would get ahead of the army to try and reveal as many of the Lizardmen as possible. The last thing we needed was a unit appearing from a flank and pinning the siege engine in place. The Centigor and Tuskgor chariots would protect my flanks engaging any units that threatened to hold up the Bestigor whilst the Cygor would remain at the back of the army hurling stones into the Lizardmen and plugging any gaps in my line. How could I possibly fail?

DEPLOYMENT

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1040.jpg)

The Beastmen deploy vaguely as described above, I know I managed to keep with a plan all the way through to the deployment phase! In case you are wondering the Murmak is playing the role of the siege engine.

TURN 1

The Harpies and Razorgor push forward as quickly as possible in the hope of revealing the hidden Lizardmen, and are soon successful as a large unit of Kroxigor are revealed. The Cygor sends a piece of masonry arcing across the battlefield towards them, but an unfortunate scatter means it only causes a single wound.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1041.jpg)

In response the Lizardmen reveal their Carnosaur ridden by Oldblood, who heads straight towards the Beastmen flank. The Kroxigor charge the Razorgor, who manages to do two wounds killing the already wounded Kroxigor. However the double-handed weapons of the lizards make quick work of the Razorgor and they overrun into the siege engine. (Oh dear one turn in and I'd already got my siege engine locked in combat!).

TURN 2

The Beastmen begin by charging, the Tuskgor Chariot and the Cygor plough into the Kroxigor supporting the Bestigor pushing the siege engine. The second Tuskgor Chariot ploughs into the Carnosaur in a bid to prevent it hindering the main battleline.

The Harpies meanwhile reveal a large block of Saurus Warriors directly in the path of the Gor block.

The first Tuskgor chariot does a wound on the Carnosaur but is swiftly reduced to matchwood in response. On the other side of the battlefield the Cygor manages to cause two wounds on the Kroxigor, as does the second Tuskgor Chariot, and Rashnrak personally slays another Kroxigor. The Kroxigor in return roll appallingly badly, they just manage to kill the Tuskgor chariot and 2 Bestigor. The Bestigor fight last killing all bar two of the remaining Kroxigors who flee only to be rundown by the Cygor.

The Lizardmen reinforcements arrive on mass with a number of Skink units turning up. The Carnosaur charges the Gor block in the flank, whilst the Harpies flee from the Saurus they revealed early allowing them to also charge the Gors.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1042.jpg)

The newly arrived Skink Shaman casts Harmonic Convergence on the Saurus. The Skinks prove their reputation with the blowpipe is well-deserved killing the remaining Razargor and taking three wounds off the Cygor.

In combat the Carnosaur Oldblood takes two wounds in return for four Gor casualties, with the attacks of the Saurus the Gor the combat is drawn.

TURN 3

The Bestigor continue their advance with the huge siege engine, whilst the Cygor charges into the Saurus block already locked in combat with the Gors. The Harpies meanwhile rally.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1043.jpg)

The Oldblood kills 4 Gor, though the beasts do manage to cause a single wound on the Carnosaur. And while a further 8 Gor are killed by the Saurus the Gor wipe out the remainder of the lizards, which is sufficient for the Carnosaur to break. Despite taking them away from their target the Gors can't miss the opportunity to pursue catching and killing the Oldblood.

The Lizardmen strike back as the Cygor is killed by Urannon's Thunderbolt, the Skink units move to block the advance of the Bestigor, whilst the Salamander flames five of the Centigor who have been moving up to block a second unit of Saurus advancing towards the Bestigor flank.

TURN 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1044.jpg)

The Harpies charge the flank of one of the units of Skinks, which has now become exposed as they moved to block the Bestigor. The Bestigor and siege engine charge the Salamander killing it outright, giving them an all-important overrun, one unit of Skinks panics fleeing the table, as the Bestigor overrun into a second unit. The Harpies kill three Skinks for no loses, with the bonus of having charged in the flank, the Skink and Mage Priest flee and are ripped apart by the Harpies. At the end of the Beastmen turn, all that is blocking the Bestigor from leaving the board is the unit of Skinks they are engaged with and a Salamander.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1045.jpg)

The Saurus charge the five remaining Centigor. The Salamander misfires eating all its crew and failing its Monster Reaction test. In an impressive display the Centigors manage to kill 7 Saurus for only two loses, the Saurus break and are rundown by Ghorros and his Centigor. The Bestigor kill the last of Skinks overrunning even closer to the board edge. The final turn begins with just a lone Salamander on the table for the Lizardmen player.

TURN 5

The final turn, means the Bestigor need to get off the table with their siege engine this turn. However they are blocked by the Salamander so Rashnrak and his Bestigor charge in. The Salamander is easily dispatched, but the entire game comes down to the overrun roll. If the Bestigor make the roll to the table edge they will escape with their siege engine. As it is they roll short and fail to make the board edge by Turn 5. So despite the Lizardmen losing every single model they still win the game!!!

Over on the main table the Empire army is being decimated by the assault by the Warriors of Chaos, with Throgg and his Trolls storming the gates and a battery of Hell Cannons smashing down the walls. Help isn't forthcoming, as although the Lizardmen win with no survivors they can't send any reinforcements to the battle!!! Things get worse when the Skaven beat the Dwarfs for very few losses causing a castle wall to collapse and a virtually unscathed Skaven army to join the fight. The men of the Empire are doomed...

Rashnrak cursed his luck, the Lizardmen lay dead all around him, their scaly bodies were being piled up around the hastily constructed herd stones, but they had delayed him long enough to prevent his arrival at the main castle. By the time his Bestigor got to the gates of the Citadel it was in ruins, one of its walls having clearly collapsed from below. The men of the Empire lay dead everywhere, much to Rashnrak's amusement, but the Skaven and Chaos tainted men had already stolen the Citadel's greatest treasures. However clambering through the wreckage Rashnrak found a powerful shield that he held a loft, soon all the civilised races would cower before him. His name would go down throughout the tribes of the Beastmen and his gods would reward him. Because Rashnrak knew an important truth, whilst the humans insisted that "History is written by the victors", he knew the reality that in fact "History is written only by the Beastmen and Skaven!"

High Elves

With all this Beastmen fun, my High Elf army very nearly reaches conclusion! With the last of the units finished off in Update 83, we have a plethora of characters this week – including a long awaiting Battle Standard Bearer – apparently they are useful, who knew?!!!

These four characters are made up from the two High Elf plastic character packs, and whilst I really have no need for yet another Mage on foot. The mounted characters and, as mentioned, battle standard bearer make a welcome addition to the army!

It's time for another exciting guide – I know you've probably just wet yourself with excitement:

Elf Mages – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN175.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN181.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Masonry: Calthan Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
Horse Flesh: Adeptus Battlegrey
Leather: Scorched Brown
Magical Cloud: Dheneb Stone
Scrolls: Khemri Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
White Robes: 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Robes: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Robes: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair, Mounted Mage: Vomit Brown
Hair, Foot Mage: Snakebite Leather


Elf Mages – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN324.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN315.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Masonry: Wash Nuln Oil
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Layer 1:1 Adeptus Battlegrey/Codex Grey, then layer Codex Grey
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Magical Cloud: Layer 1:1 Dheneb Stone/Bleached Bone, then layer Bleached Bone
Scrolls: Layer Dheneb Stone
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
White Robes: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey)/( 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey), then layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Robes: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Iyanden Darksun, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Ice Blue/Enchanted Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Hair, Mounted Mage: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Hair, Foot Mage: Layer Desert Yellow, then layer 1:1 Desert Yellow/Bleached Bone


Elf Mages – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1037.jpg)

Yes the Mage's head has fallen off here!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1036.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Masonry: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown, then highlight Beastial Brown
Magical Cloud: Layer 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White, then wash Thraka Green
Scrolls: Highlight Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
White Robes: Layer 1:1 Skull White/(2:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Robes: Highlight 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then highlight Sunburst Yellow
Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair, Mounted Mage: Layer Vomit Brown
Hair, Foot Mage: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then wash Devlan Mud in the recesses


Elf Mages – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN719.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN723.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN731.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN686.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN690.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN694.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN696.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock with Static Grass
Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Hooves: Highlight Codex Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Horse Flesh: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Magical Cloud: Wash watered down Mithril Silver, then highlight Bleached Bone
Scrolls: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
White Robes: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Robes: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Robes: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then wash watered down Asurmen Blue
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Elf Flesh, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair, Mounted Mage: Highlight 1:1 Vomit Brown/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair, Foot Mage: Highlight strands Bleached Bone, then highlight tips Skull White. Wash watered down Gryphonne Sepia across strands.


Elf Prince on Steed and Noble Battle Standard Bearer – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN171.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN178.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Masonry: Calthan Brown
Hooves: Chaos Black
Horse Flesh: Fortress Grey
Horse Fur (leg/mane): Codex Grey
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
White Robes: 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Robes: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Robes: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown
Wood: Khemri Brown
White Eagle Feathers: 1:1 Khemri Brown/Bleached Bone
Black Eagle Feathers: Chaos Black


Elf Prince on Steed and Noble Battle Standard Bearer – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN426.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN317.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Masonry: Wash Nuln Oil
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Layer 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White
Horse Fur (leg/mane): Drybrush Fortress Grey
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
White Robes: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey)( 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey) then layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Yellow Robes: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Ice Blue/Enchanted Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Dwarf Flesh then layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Wood: Layer: 1:1 Steel Legion Drab/Graveyard Earth then layer Graveyard Earth)
White Eagle Feathers: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Black Eagle Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki


Elf Prince on Steed and Noble Battle Standard Bearer – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1038.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1039.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Masonry: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Hooves: *NO CHANGE*
Horse Flesh: Layer watered down Skull White
Horse Fur (leg/mane): Drybrush 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White, then drybrush Skull White
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
White Robes: Layer 1:1 (2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey)/Skull White, then layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Robes: Highlight 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then highlight Sunburst Yellow
Blue Robes: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh
Hair: Layer Vomit Brown
Wood: Highlight 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone
White Eagle Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Black Eagle Feathers: Drybrush Kommando Khaki


Elf Prince on Steed and Noble Battle Standard Bearer – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN701.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN704.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN710.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN736.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN741.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN746.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock with Static Grass
Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Hooves: Highlight Codex Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Horse Flesh: Wash heavily watered down Nuln Oil then highlight Skull White
Horse Fur (leg/mane): Wash heavily watered down Nuln Oil then drybrush Skull White
Leather: *NO CHANGE*
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
White Robes: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Robes: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Robes: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then wash watered down Asurmen Blue
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Highlight 1:1 Vomit Brown/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Wood: Highlight watered down Bleached Bone
White Eagle Feathers: Drybrush Skull White
Black Eagle Feathers: *NO CHANGE*


Well that just leaves Teclis and the Dragon Mage to do and then the High Elves are done. Fingers crossed that will be very, very, very soon!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 10:31:22 am
Update 85 – Monday 15th October: Dragon-ing On

Yes it's everyone's favourite blog Procrastination by Numbers – guaranteed to be 100% Louis Walsh free.

I've been saying for a long time that my High Elf army is nearly finished. I'm not sure whether it ever was really nearly finished or whether I kept telling myself that in order to stop gouging my own eyes out with a fine detail brush every time the next set of gems came round to paint.

Well the good news is, that unless I've been deeply mistaken and there's a hidden box of Silver Helms under a toadstool in the garden or something, the final models are done! Yes repeat, the final High Elves are done. Last week (Update 84) I proudly boasted that I had only a Dragon Mage and Teclis to finish... well smugly I can announce they are done (who says unemployment is a bad thing?).

So for the final time (unless new models get released), it's time for some finished pictures. Brace yourselves people:

High Elves

Now the guide below is for the Dragon, I have actually painted the riders an embarrassing number of months ago, so I won't draw attention to it by highlighting that you can see their guide in Update 60 – 60 what the dilly dally bum ho have I been doing for the last 25 updates?!?!

Dragon Mage – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN058.jpg)

Flesh: Khorne Red
Scales: Khorne Red
Spines: 1:1:1 Khorne Red / Liche Purple / Chaos Black
Wing Membrane: 1:1:1 Khorne Red / Liche Purple / Chaos Black
Claws/Teeth: Scorched Brown
Mouth: Liche Purple
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Skull: Khemri Brown
Base: Khemri Brown
Rocks: Adeptus Battlegrey
Elven Masonry: Calthan Brown
Reins White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey / Skull White
Reins Yellow Cloth: Iyanden Dark Sun
Chair Padding: Necron Abyss


Dragon Mage – Stage 2

Tragically despite many years of getting into the swing of these painting guides, I seem to have completely forgotten to take a picture at Stage 2 of painting the Dragon Mage – which is rather embarrassing. Instead please accept our resident six year old artist's impression of what the dragon looked like at this point:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1050.jpg)

Flesh: Layer 3:1 Khorne Red/Macharius Solar Orange, then layer 1:1 Khorne Red/Macharius Solar Orange
Scales: Wash 1:1 Devlan Mud/Baal Red, then repaint Khorne Red, then highlight Blood Red
Spines: Layer 2:1:1 Khorne Red/Liche Purple/Chaos, then highlight Khorne Red
Wing Membrane: Layer 2:1:1 Khorne Red/Liche Purple/Chaos, then highlight Khorne Red
Claws/Teeth: Layer Bestial Brown, then layer Snakebite Leather
Mouth: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Skull: Wash Nuln Oil
Base: Relayer Khemri Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Elven Masonry: Wash Nuln Oil
Reins White Cloth: Highlight 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then highlight 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Reins Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Chair Padding: Layer Regal Blue


Dragon Mage – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN536.jpg)

Flesh: Highlight Macharius Solar Orange
Scales: Highlight Blazing Orange
Spines: Highlight Blood Red, then highlight Blazing Orange
Wing Membrane: Wash recesses 1:1 Chaos Black/Liche Purple, then wash recesses Chaos Black, then highlight Blood Red followed by Blazing Orange
Claws/Teeth: Highlight Vomit Brown
Mouth: Highlight Tentacle Pink, then highlight 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Skull: Layer Baneblade Brown
Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Elven Masonry: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Reins White Cloth: Layer watered down 1:1 Skull White/(2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey), the layer watered down Skull White
Reins Yellow Cloth: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Chair Padding: Highlight Ultramarines Blue


Dragon Mage – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN634a.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN637a.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN641.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN644.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN645.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN648.jpg)

Flesh: *NO CHANGE*
Scales: Highlight Fiery Orange
Spines: *NO CHANGE*
Wing Membrane: *NO CHANGE*
Claws/Teeth: Highlight Skull White
Mouth: Highlight Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Skull: Layer Dheneb Stone, then layer Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock with Static Grass
Rocks: Wash Nuln Oil, then drybrush 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White
Elven Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Reins White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Reins Yellow Cloth: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Chair Padding: Highlight Enchanted Blue


And here's the same Dragon with the Dragon Mage swapped for the Arch Mage:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN652.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN653.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN654.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN663.jpg)

And for those who think I really should be painting another dragon for the Arch Mage, you can poo off. I've done more than enough High Elves!!

Tension music, drumroll, inordinately long reality show announcement pause....................................................................................................................

It's time for the final model for the High Elf army, it's only Arch Mage Teclis. Now before the internet storm of people suggesting I'm a gamey b***ard erupts, bear in mind I've painted about 20 million points of High Elves before getting round to this guy so I can't be too bad!

This was the new Finecast classic Teclis, because it reminds me of the happy days of my childhood – not that they were happy, but they could have been and miserable people need all the happiness they can get. Here you can see him posing next to a Beastmen Shaman I constructed for my next painting wave:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1046.jpg)

Anyway, for basing I used this stone path base from the Warhammer Basing Kit. I've wanted to use it for a while but it's never quite fitted in with my armies.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1049.jpg)

It doesn't feel that Elfy. So I stuck some stones around the edges and etched in a High Elf rune on one of the central stones – which I think really made it feel like the High Elf rubble on the other characters – I was pleased. Which frankly is all that matters.

And so ladies and gentlemen, shed a tear for the final High Elf painting guide:

Teclis – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN507.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Elven Masonry: Calthan Brown
Leather: Scorched Brown
White Fabric: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Dark Blue Fabric: Necron Abyss
Light Blue Fabric: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Yellow Fabric: Iyanden Darksun
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Flesh: Tallaran Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh


Teclis – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN522.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Elven Masonry: Wash Badab Black
Leather: Wash Badab Black
White Fabric: Layer 2:3 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White, then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Dark Blue Fabric: Layer Regal Blue
Light Blue Fabric: Layer 2:3 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Yellow Fabric: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Badab Black
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh


Teclis – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN532.jpg)

Base: *NO CHANGE*
Elven Masonry: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
White Fabric: Layer watered down 1:1 Skull White/(2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey), the layer watered down Skull White
Dark Blue Fabric: Layer 1:4 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue, then layer 1:2 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Light Blue Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Yellow Fabric: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh


Teclis – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN668a.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN677.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN680.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN671a.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN670a.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock with Static Grass
Elven Masonry: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
White Fabric: Layer Skull White
Dark Blue Fabric: Layer 3:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue, then highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Light Blue Fabric: *NO CHANGE*
Yellow Fabric: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone


I'm very much pleased with how Teclis came out, while I've used the dark blue night sky with stars on banners before I've never used it on a mage – so not only do I think it came out well, but it makes Teclis stand out amongst the characters. As he rightly should.

So there we go the High Elves are done, next time I'll assemble the full army for the finished army shot and a points round up. Surely I cannot tease you with anymore?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 10:54:01 am
Great work buddy,  perfect timing with the Elves as you will have plenty of shiny new Chaos to paint very soon  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Tom Hale on October 15, 2012, 11:11:39 am
Its been really impressive you adding to create the vast shake away hordes!

Any chance of an epic group shot d everything?

Also OmG teclis?!?!? Broken filthy power gamer :endit: :toilet: :whip: :moody;3:

  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 11:23:46 am
Quote from: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 10:54:01 am
Great work buddy,  perfect timing with the Elves as you will have plenty of shiny new Chaos to paint very soon  :wink;m::

Cheers dude, am I the only one feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation at the new Chaos releases - I have soooo many other things to paint!

Quote from: sainthale1988 on October 15, 2012, 11:11:39 am
Its been really impressive you adding to create the vast shake away hordes!

Any chance of an epic group shot d everything?

Also OmG teclis?!?!? Broken filthy power gamer :endit: :toilet: :whip: :moody;3:

  :wink;m::

Thanking you! Hoping to get a full set of pictures and an army shot up on the blog next update.

And sssshhhhhh people who play like me need broken toys!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 15, 2012, 12:17:24 pm
I love it Tom's calling someone who's just posted up a 'how to paint the dragonmage' a filthy powergamer, something not quite right about that!

Also has this blog been going for 2 years, the resident 6 year old artist was 4 at the start of it if my memory serves, they've put 1/3 of their life into your artistic needs, how scary is that!

Great work on finishing it all off, very impressive, don't think I've ever managed that with an army ever.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 12:32:02 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 12:17:24 pm
Also has this blog been going for 2 years, the resident 6 year old artist was 4 at the start of it if my memory serves, they've put 1/3 of their life into your artistic needs, how scary is that!

Surely the scary thing is that I have a captive 6-year old girl drawing pictures for me, not the fact that she was 4 when she started? But there we go!!

Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 12:17:24 pm
Great work on finishing it all off, very impressive, don't think I've ever managed that with an army ever.

How can you not have done this? At your pace it would surely only have taken a week?!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 01:48:46 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 11:23:46 am
Cheers dude, am I the only one feeling a mix of excitement and trepidation at the new Chaos releases - I have soooo many other things to paint!

Its just a WD supplement first, with new Monsterous CAv (Hellstriders IIRC) that can be ridden by Marauders and Warriors and new marauder models on foot.
Meaning we get to keep the ace magic items section till approx March, when the proper army book comes out and ruins it all...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 02:05:34 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 01:48:46 pm
Its just a WD supplement first, with new Monsterous CAv (Hellstriders IIRC) that can be ridden by Marauders and Warriors and new marauder models on foot.
Meaning we get to keep the ace magic items section till approx March, when the proper army book comes out and ruins it all...

Well that sounds like it won't break the painting bank then, I already have 60 Marauders and if Hellstriders are Khorne they won't fit in my Tzeentch army anyway! The Beastmen may get finished after all!!!!

Less magic items is sad, but still want a glossy new book for one of the armies I use!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 02:33:38 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 02:05:34 pm
and if Hellstriders are Khorne they won't fit in my Tzeentch army anyway!

I think you just give them marks as normal.
From what I have read the Marauder ones are special and the warrior ones are Rare
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 02:46:23 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 02:33:38 pm
I think you just give them marks as normal.
From what I have read the Marauder ones are special and the warrior ones are Rare

That may present more of a problem... best get painting those Beastmen. Onwards with the Beastmen Brown*

*this isn't a real colour, just a special Matty mix
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 15, 2012, 04:40:06 pm
otherwise known as shit brown?  After all if you read the beastmen fluff they like to smear poo all over everything in order to mark it as 'beastmanified'.

Forgot to say, you're unemployed?  I thought you were a media (tv) type person?

As for why I've never fully finished painting an army it's because I always move onto my next project before fully completing anything and I buy a load of stuff second hand so get all sorts of unwanted figs as part of my trades.  you're right though, I should really go back and completely clear at least one armies worth of stuff.  Hmm, continue with the DE or go back to an old project, what to do...

Interesting chaos rumours there Ol, would be great to see it happen, might give those WoC armies the variety they need in the special and rare slots, though surprised they need it with the book so full of diversity with people running chaos trolls, dragon ogres, chaos ogres, Forsaken etc etc.  oh, right, nobody every plays them.  Damnit now I want to do my Wozzas army with all those units.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 06:06:36 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 04:40:06 pm
otherwise known as shit brown?  After all if you read the beastmen fluff they like to smear poo all over everything in order to mark it as 'beastmanified'.

I prefer the phrase Beastmen Brown, but in fairness I have noticed it baring resemblence to the odd turd or two.

Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 04:40:06 pm
Forgot to say, you're unemployed?  I thought you were a media (tv) type person?

Sadly at present I am an unemployed media type person :endit: hopefully not for too long

Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 04:40:06 pm
As for why I've never fully finished painting an army it's because I always move onto my next project before fully completing anything and I buy a load of stuff second hand so get all sorts of unwanted figs as part of my trades.  you're right though, I should really go back and completely clear at least one armies worth of stuff.  Hmm, continue with the DE or go back to an old project, what to do...

Essentially a procrastinator then?! Good stuff. Yeah wish there were some models for some of the other Chaos choice Forsaken, War Shrine or some decent Ogre ones. We shall see... we shall see...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 15, 2012, 09:27:13 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 15, 2012, 06:06:36 pm

Essentially a procrastinator then?!
How dare you, I'm not a filthy procrastinator, I'm more of a rabid multitasker, I've not put it off, I've just been busy with other stuff!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on October 15, 2012, 10:32:13 pm
Good luck with the job hunt.  There will supposedly be a new plastic chosen/forsaken kit in the second wave.  Until then, hellstriders and skullcrushers.  (Basically juggernauts, the latter.)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 16, 2012, 10:17:08 am
Quote from: Dave on October 15, 2012, 09:27:13 pm
How dare you, I'm not a filthy procrastinator, I'm more of a rabid multitasker, I've not put it off, I've just been busy with other stuff!

Touched a nerve!

Quote from: Toast on October 15, 2012, 10:32:13 pm
Good luck with the job hunt.  There will supposedly be a new plastic chosen/forsaken kit in the second wave.  Until then, hellstriders and skullcrushers.  (Basically juggernauts, the latter.)

Cheers, it's tediously boring! I may even write a blog I'm that bored
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: noahtonkin on October 16, 2012, 03:15:56 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 15, 2012, 02:33:38 pm
I think you just give them marks as normal.
From what I have read the Marauder ones are special and the warrior ones are Rare

Rare?! Noooo! Everyone else's broken monstrous cav is special (plus they'll have to compete with the highly broken...spawns!)

Good to see the high elves all done and dusted. Think someone should bully you into taking them to a tournament, amaze the masses with your painting skillz!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 16, 2012, 03:35:16 pm
Quote from: noahtonkin on October 16, 2012, 03:15:56 pm
Rare?! Noooo! Everyone else's broken monstrous cav is special (plus they'll have to compete with the highly broken...spawns!)

Spawn are amazing/I don't know what I am doing.*   - delete as applicable

Quote from: noahtonkin on October 16, 2012, 03:15:56 pm
Good to see the high elves all done and dusted. Think someone should bully you into taking them to a tournament, amaze the masses with your painting skillz!

All of my High Elves!!! Wooow that's going to be a long tournament. Besides the masses already all read this blog.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 17, 2012, 08:36:30 am
Update 86 – Wednesday 17th October: The End...

Please be aware this blog update is jam packed full of photos, so ramp up that 3G connection!

As is my want and crazy whimsical life, the other day was I reading an old edition of the White Dwarf for no particular reason, when I was reading an article by Tuomas Pirinen (old Games Workshop celebrity of the 90s, think Sue Pollard without the glasses). In which he talked about the new Warhammer Armies: High Elves book and said: "An individual High Elf warrior is fast, highly skilled, well-motivated and well equipped. This means that collecting a High Elf army is quick: the high points cost of the models means that you don't have to acquire and paint hundreds before you have a reasonable sized force." Well why the f**k did no one tell me this sooner, for god's sake I've been painting for bloody years!!!!

Oh well, yes this is the final money shoot photo spread you've been waiting to see. All those High Elves arrayed for battle. Forgive me if I've gone a bit photo crazy but it took me a long time to paint so you are not allowed to moan. I have forbidden it!

A quick timeline recap just to procrastinate further... you love it!

My High Elf army started with the Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves, as of September 2010, it looked like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog202.jpg)

As of June 2011 it looked like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/HighElfBlog3970.jpg)

At February 2012 it stood at this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2294.jpg)

And back at our last pictorial update in May 2012, it stood like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3621.jpg)

So here we are, October 2012 and you're dying to see the finished army. Well the chest of drawers simply isn't big enough, so I've deployed them on the living room battlefield, here are the snaps:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN560.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN591.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN571.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN590.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN596.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN607.jpg)

And here are a few arty close ups which came out alright!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN572.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN579.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN587.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN598.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN600.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN601.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN603.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN605.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN625.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN626.jpg)

Not bad, to be honest bored with High Elves might sell them.

Of course not! Hehe. The good news is that they fit quite nicely on these shelves (with a little bit of room should any more releases come out):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN557.jpg)

They do get a little dusty (particularly the Reavers who seem to never get selected for my army – wonder why!), so I may have to brick in the shelves, or scrape off my skin so I stop generating dust!

Excited by my success I decided to do a photo shoot of each of my units, pay attention as there's a very exciting competition coming up afterwards.... Ooooooo! So here goes, I've added a little key and plan to give you a hand!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN594a.jpg)

A – Phoenix Guard
B – Caradryan, Captain of the Phoenix Guard
C – Great Eagle
D – Tiranoc Chariot
E – Monolith
F – Repeater Bolt Thrower
G – Lothern Sea Guard
H – Mage
I – Ellyrain Reavers
J – Spearmen
K – White Lion Chariot
L – Noble on Elven Steed
M – Archers
N – War Lions of Chrace
O – Swordmasters of Hoeth
P – Noble
Q – Mage
R – White Lions of Chrace
S – Korhil, Captain of the White Lions
T – Dragon Mage of Caledor
U – Dragon Princes of Caledor
V – Mage
W – White Lion Chariot
X – Mage
Y – Archers
Z – Silver Helms
AA – Prince on Dragon
AB – Dragon Princes of Caledor
AC – Mage on Elven Steed
AD – Spearmen
AE – Prince on Griffon
AF – Noble
AG – Repeater Bolt Thrower
AH – Noble with Battle Standard
AI – Prince Tyrion
AJ – Teclis
AK – Tiranoc Chariot
AL – Shadow Warriors
AM – Alith Anar, the Shadow King
AN – Great Eagle
AO – Ellyrian Reavers


So here's a little close up gallery of each of those, yes I've bothered to upload a photo of each unit... tough.

Lords

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN852.jpg)

Tyrion (AI)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN668a.jpg)

Teclis (AJ)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN844.jpg)

Alith Anar (AM)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN799.jpg)

Prince on Dragon (AA)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN795.jpg)

Prince on Griffon (AE)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN654.jpg)

Archmage on Dragon (alternate of T)

Heroes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN816.jpg)

Caradryan (B)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN838.jpg)

Korhil (S)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN701.jpg)

Noble with Battle Standard (B)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN739.jpg)

Noble on Elven Steed (L)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN829.jpg)

Noble (P)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN806.jpg)

Noble (AF)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN731.jpg)

Mage on Elven Steed (AC)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN823.jpg)

Mage (H)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN813.jpg)

Mage (Q)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN686.jpg)

Mage (V)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN850.jpg)

Mage (X)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN634a.jpg)

Dragon Mage of Caledor – I haven't got 3 Dragons, this is the same one as the Archmage – pay attention! (T)

Core

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN863.jpg)

20 Archers (M)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN859.jpg)

20 Archers (Y)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN874.jpg)

50 Spearmen (J)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN876.jpg)

35 Spearmen (AD)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN865.jpg)

30 Lothern Sea Guard (G)

Special

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN880.jpg)

24 Swordmasters of Hoeth (O)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN887.jpg)

20 Phoenix Guard (A)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN892.jpg)

20 White Lions of Chrace (R)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN895.jpg)

12 Silver Helms (Z)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN902.jpg)

10 Dragon Princes (AB)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN908.jpg)

5 Dragon Princes (U)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN911.jpg)

5 Ellyrian Reavers (I)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN913.jpg)

5 Ellyrian Reavers (AO)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN918.jpg)

6 Shadow Warriors (AL)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN922.jpg)

2 Tiranoc Chariots (D, AK)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN925.jpg)

2 White Lion Chariots (K, W)

Rare

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN931.jpg)

2 Repeater Bolt Throwers (F, AG)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN936.jpg)

2 Great Eagles (C, AN)

Storm of Magic/Terrain

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN788.jpg)

6 War Lions of Chrace (N)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN944.jpg)

Monolith (E)

That people is the full rundown of all the units in my finished High Elf army. At this point you're probably think "I wonder how many points worth of High Elves this is?" well this is where you come in, because it's competition time!!

COMPETITION TIME ---- COMPETITION TIME ----

Yes I've spent too long playing with the formatting buttons.

You may have already got a theory of how this competition might go, but here's how it works all you need to do is submit your guess for how many points worth of High Elves I have painted. Simple. Closest wins.

But what do you win? What do you win?

Well this is such an important competition, that it deserves an amazing prize, so I've got together with some of our sponsors, many thanks to Ol and Shakeaway. And if your guess is the closest guess to the total you will win an army of your choice... drawn by the resident six-year old artist. Yes that's right no actual models (just for the lawyer's benefit). However the resident six-year old will sign the artwork, and framing – you could frame it if you wanted. And as reminder let's remember that when our six-year was only four they painted this excellent Wood Elf army:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1056.jpg)

So who knows what masterpiece they will produce this time that you could win?!

As this is such an important prize, I should stipulate some terms and conditions to avoid someone complaining. Of course you could religiously go through the Warhammer Armies: High Elves adding up the points of everything, but who's got the time – except me. And to avoid you doing that I'll be counting some of the characters as lords and some as heroes – you don't know what. I will be including a smattering of magic items. I will be using models as seen, where possible. I will be using the Storm of Magic supplement. Hopefully that covers everything, but in case not let me reiterate my decision is final.

To enter simply post your answer in a reply on this thread, I have already worked out the points and sealed it in this envelope so there can be no cheating!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1059.jpg)

Closing date is whenever I get bored; feel I've had enough entries to justify running this competition/my own self-worth.

So get entering.

On that note I can tell you that next week Procrastination by Numbers is going to have a bit of a funky refresh, well it worked for the White Dwarf, so make sure you keep checking it out. It's going to be at least 2.3% more interesting than it is now. See you then!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on October 17, 2012, 08:47:59 am
I'm gonna be lazy and say about 8476 pts. Gutted/Happy to see its all done and over, certainly an impressive acheivement to be devoted to one army for so long. I can barely even get a normal sized army to completion before I get bored and move on...



The important question though is, now that this is done, will you be giving Maddy McCann back to her parents at long last, or is she being kept on for the next project?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on October 17, 2012, 10:02:28 am
Very impressive, puts my current inability to paint a unit of rats to shame!  My favourite bit is probably the BSB's banner, although all the freehand stuff is excellent.    I'm going to say 8787pts, which is based on my in depth knowledge of the Elf book (I've seen it, once, in a shop. Didn't read it). 
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 17, 2012, 11:28:27 am
Thanks for the kind comments! Invariably my favourite thing is whatever I painted most recently, so I guess that will always be Teclis now.

Meant to clarify in the rules for the army I've picked, it will be short on Core - sorry I intended to say and then got distracted!!

Quote from: Meals on October 17, 2012, 08:47:59 am
The important question though is, now that this is done, will you be giving Maddy McCann back to her parents at long last, or is she being kept on for the next project?

Thansks for putting a dark twist on proceedings. The six-year old is not missing, she's here at her own request.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 17, 2012, 11:31:49 am
Stockholm syndrome...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: CraigM on October 17, 2012, 11:53:26 am
That's a really impressive amount of work, Matt. Good effort. I think my favourite is the blue dragon (although looking on my phone so can't see super close).

I have never played wfb or looked in a codex army book so will go with the old favourite: it must be over 9000! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik&sns=em) (9001)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 17, 2012, 12:02:47 pm
oh and I forgot to say 9364pts
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Meals on October 17, 2012, 01:58:44 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 17, 2012, 11:28:27 am

Thansks for putting a dark twist on proceedings. The six-year old is not missing, she's here at her own request.

Always glad to help, Matt  :thumbsup: Given the current state of BBC employees in the news, you should be glad I only went there!  :bash;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 17, 2012, 02:15:39 pm
Quote from: CraigM on October 17, 2012, 11:53:26 am
I have never played wfb or looked in a codex army book so will go with the old favourite: it must be over 9000! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiMHTK15Pik&sns=em) (9001)

You should play me at Warhammer then, no experience surely puts you head it me! Cheers for the comments. I like the Blue Dragon too, shame he's such a bugger to transport!!

Quote from: Meals on October 17, 2012, 01:58:44 pm
Always glad to help, Matt  :thumbsup: Given the current state of BBC employees in the news, you should be glad I only went there!  :bash;m:

The statement I could have been worse is hardly a defence! How many murderers are left off when they say "Well, I could have murdered two people!"  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 18, 2012, 11:44:32 am
Awesome work sir and my guess is 8998  :cool3:
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on October 18, 2012, 12:30:47 pm
Amazing effort young Matthew... Well done indeed!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 18, 2012, 12:36:02 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on October 18, 2012, 11:44:32 am
Awesome work sir and my guess is 8998  :cool3:

Quote from: Steve H on October 18, 2012, 12:30:47 pm
Amazing effort young Matthew... Well done indeed!

Thank you gentlemen! Am hoping that the Ultramarines don't grow into an army this size. Not really sure I have the space!!  :blush:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 22, 2012, 09:22:44 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 87 – The Next Generation  Monday 22nd October 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

87.1 – Brand New Look

Hello and welcome to this the first update of the brand new Procrastination by Numbers, yes look we've had a snazzy looking revamp – I hope you like. We've even got a brand new logo, which as you can see features a mixture of gaming bits and pieces along with a whole host of random non-gaming things. Which I think you'll find accurately represents the proportions of nonsense featured in this blog, and in my mind at the time of writing.

If you are wondering why we've got this brand new look? Well having a revamp worked quite well for the White Dwarf – which is now excellent. Plus with a brand new Tale of Gamers kicking off, I suspect a number of people are jumping on the gaming band wagon in order to propel themselves to blogging super stardom. So this revamp is just to make sure old Procrastination by Numbers doesn't lose its edge. :wink;m:: And of course with myself taking part in the tale and last week's completion of the High Elves now seems like as good time as any for a new(ish) look.

Of course you can expect all the usual level of nonsense, procrastination, poor spelling and the odd bit of painting, plus some of our old favourite updates will be making an appearance. So without further ado, let's get on with it.

87.2 – Meet the Team

Now it's not just me who puts together this blog, oh no, many of multiple personalities are deployed in the creation of this blog. So it's time to meet them and see what they've been up to this week.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been mainly deciding whether Teal or Lime Green would make the best colour scheme for the new blog. Currently he's thinking Teal, he also been putting off spending his time doing anything worthwhile.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has mainly been hoping that whoever wins the High Elf army competition doesn't want a Lord of the Rings army drawn, as she's too young to have seen the films.

Mr Shakey Shakey

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Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has been celebrating coming 51st in this series of The Great British Bake-Off.

Sandra the Tactical Plant

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Sandra the Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

This week in addition to getting thrown out of first class compartment on a train for travelling on a standard class ticket, Sandra has been finalising the plans for her Ogre army consisting of Ogre Bull Deathstar and four Ironblaster cannons. Filthy Sandra.

87.3 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 1

Unless you've been living under a rock, or a fold in Ann Widdicombe's flab, you can't failed to have noticed the start of a brand new Tale of Gamers thread. If you are currently pealing yourself out of the sweaty overhanging flesh of a former Conservative MP and Strictly Come Dancing contestant you'll need to check out here...:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3241.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3241.0)

...and here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3253.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3253.0)

...for more details. Obviously I'm not going to comment on how hurtful it is to be relegated to "Matt C", whist another lesser Matt has been given the name "Matt" in the signup thread. No obviously I shan't comment about all the amazing work I do for this forum and how much, like Kylie, Madonna or Sting, that I should be known simply by my first name.

As the undisputed champion of the last Tale of OG Gamers, I thank you, it would be remiss of me not to get involved. The astute amongst you will note that I haven't yet got involved. Simply this is because technically today is Day 1, everyone else has been cheating and getting in early!!! Secondly I'm not posting in the designated Mission Debrief section of the forum, I'm in fact posting in the General Fantasy Chat part of the forum. When this isn't even Fantasy stuff it's 40K – well I'm just that kind of a rebel aren't I?!

Previously on this very blog I've revealed my interest in starting an Ultramarines army, as I've always had a soft spot for the blue-clad marines. And so I'd already bought myself The Assault on Black Reach box set.

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The main problem is I have no idea what I am doing with Warhammer 40,000, I barely understand the background and don't have a clue with the rules. Anyone who has seen me play Warhammer will probably think that's an advantage, but it means I may need to bombard you with questions. So feel free to get involved and help a poor old lost High Elf painter like myself.

First up is what to select for my first 275 points - 275 points! There's points inflation for you, back in my day you only needed 200 points a month. Having not read the rule book (plus only having the last edition rulebook) and only flicked through the Space Marine Codex (still awkward with that word), I believe I need to select at least one HQ choice (a character?) and two Troop choices (core – essentially). Looking through my goodies I've got a Space Marine Captain – who I will save for later, no point trying out a new paint scheme on a character. There's also a Dreadnought and a Terminator Squad, both of which are Elites and a Tactical Squad which is a Troop choice. So looks like the Tactical Squad is my first option which works out as:

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Looking at the models I seem to have a flamer, missile launcher and the Sergeant already has a Chainsword (does this sound right people? Help?!). All of these seem to be free upgrades, so I need to find another 100(ish) points. With only The Assault on Black Reach models available and me not wanting to try out my new scheme on the Captain, and for similar reasons the Dreadnought I'm left with the Terminator Squad. At 200 points for the unit, I can only afford half of them so 2.5 Terminators it is (which may get rounded up or down)!

According to the rules I need to take a before photo. Ok fair enough...

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And by the 26th of November I will need to have finished these models to keep up with Month 1. So I best get snipping those sprues and gluing.

I'd be interested in hearing people's thoughts on how I should go about basing my Ultramarines army. I am tempted to add some detailing to every model's base. I am also tempted not to do this!!!

My main thought is I want to avoid using a more Earth-based base (if you'll forgive the pun), as I have enough Warhammer grass based armies. Consider maybe desert or ice world, as the colours would complement the blue army, or perhaps a Martian world to give it a nice alien feel. Thoughts please? Has anyone used the new Citadel Texture Paints, are they any good?

Maybe I'll have got further by next week both in thoughts and construction!

87.4 – The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord: Part 4

I'm sure you're just itching to know what was happening with Rashnrak the Beastlord and his herd's exploits stomping across the Badlands. I am choosing to ignore those of you saying no. You can see the previous exploits in Updates 79, 80 and 84.

Rashnrak's army was basking in the summer sunshine, as the warm rays basked down on the Badlands. They may have not destroyed the mythic city themselves but the forces of evil had won the day and Rashnrak's empire continued to grow.

Much to Rashnrak's dismay Malagor continued to have dealings with the treacherous Skaven vermin, who had revealed to him a hidden set of tunnels and worded him of a new mystic monument discovered to the south – the Ogham Stones. Weary of fighting the Dwarfs himself, Rashnrak deployed Delithor to deal with the threat. Meanwhile Rashnrak continued to expand his territory as Malagor's army constructed a second mine discovering a hidden Relic – finally the Beastmen had discovered one, that was the whole point of trekking to the wretched Badlands in the first place.

Delithor's army began the long march through the tunnels, Delithor was an expert Bray Shaman able to contort the Winds of Magic to his every whim. The power of Chaos was certainly strong with him, and he was regularly seen communing with the Chaos Gods, and had been tutoring a number of the lesser Bray Shamans in the herd. The Ungor of the herd also flocked to Delithor, the mighty Bray-Shaman offered them a modicum of protection that the other Beastmen leaders did not. They were still an underclass, but Delithor knew they had a valuable role on the battlefield and was less willing to allow their lives to be wasted in pointless tribal bullying. Not that he wasn't happy to let them die in droves on the battlefield if it became necessary.

The Beastmen army continued their march through the tunnels, the Razorgor were getting restless spending so long away from the forests, and the Ungor's hooves were clogged with mud. Boredom had been staved off when a few Squigs turned up but the herd was getting restless, infighting was going to begin. Then they saw a light, Delithor felt the power coursing through his veins, the Ogham Stones were ahead, and the smell of Dwarfs was in the air...


For this battle all I knew was that I would be contesting the magically charged Ogham Stones versus a Dwarf army. So I had no idea what the scenario would be during my army selection. Given my general tactical ineptitude, this probably wouldn't be a problem! For my army I had 2,000 points of Beastmen plus a Bonus of 100 points from my mine in Turn 3 and a free magic item worth up to 50 points from my mine in Turn 4. You'll note for my army selection for some reason I madly picked a Dispel Scroll despite facing Dwarfs!!!:

Great Bray-Shaman, Delithor (Lore of Beasts, Level 4) – armed with the Brass Cleaver (+1 Attack for each enemy in base-to-base contact taken as free magic item), the Talisman of Preservation (4+ Ward Save), Hagtree Fetish (nominate one enemy unit within 24" each magic phase, all failed rolls to wound may be rerolled in that phase), Crown of Command (stubborn), Chaos gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Armour Save). 350 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The War Banner (+1 Combat Resolution). 153 points

Bray Shaman, (Lore of Shadows, Level 2) – armed with extra hand weapon, Dispel Scroll, Other Trickster's Shard (all models in base-to-base reroll successful ward saves). 152 points

20 Ungor with spears, shields and full command. 135 points

16 Ungor with shields and full command. 95 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

3 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 240 points

17 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full command and the Banner of Outrage (unit always passes it's Primal Fury tests). 254 points

20 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full. 270 points

3 Razorgors. 165 points

6 Harpies, with scouting ability. 84 points

Chaos Spawn. 55 points

TOTAL: 2,100 points

It was only after the army selection had taken place, and I arrived at the club that I discovered what the mission was to be. The Beastmen were to fight the Dwarfs for the possession of the Ogham Stones (where do they come up with the names for these things?!) In the centre of the table there was a large circle of standing stones, from the end of Turn 4 onwards if either player ended up with no models within the circle they would lose. Otherwise at the end of Turn 6 the player with the most number of "wounds" within the circle would be the winner. Any spellcaster within the Ogham Stones can roll four dice to channel. If a miscast occurs within the Ogham Stones then in addition to the normal effects, a random character within the circle becomes the target from a randomly generated spell from one of the random eight lores.

With the mission revealed I felt reasonably confident, my large number of units gave me a massive numbers advantage over the Dwarfs, meaning I had a good chance of simply having more stuff left by Turn 6. Upon seeing the Dwarf army – a large block of Rangers, 2 blocks of Miners and 2 blocks of Quarrellers, my plan became simply to pick off individual units of the Dwarf army, and redirect others away from the stones using my flack. Would it work, who knows? Well I do I've already played the game, but hey-ho!

Deployment

The Beastmen army deployed widely with the majority of the infantry in the centre as close as possible to the Ogham stones, and their faster units on the wide flank – and two units of Ungor hiding in ambush. With two units of Dwarf Miners left to arrive, the Dwarfs were relatively thin on the ground, the two units of Quarrellers positioned with the largest field of fire possible and the Longbeard Rangers deployed on the outskirts of the stone circle.

Turn 1

The Dwarfs won the roll for their first turn, and with the Miners unable to arrive until Turn 2, there was little to do. The Rangers used their move, to enter the Ogham Stones, whilst the Quarrellers let rip felling 4 Bestigor and taking 2 Wounds off a Tuskgor Chariot.

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The Beastmen responded by advancing the bulk of their army into the stones. Both the ambushing units appeared on the table with the Ungor Raiders appearing on the extreme left flank by the Temple of the Skulls away from the Dwarf line. The Ungor Herd simply appeared at the rear of the Beastmen army.

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The Harpies flew into the woods to threaten the flank of the Dwarf Quarrellers, one of their number crashing into a tree.

In the magic phase despite channelling a load of dice the Dwarf Runesmith's use of a Rune of Spellbreaking stopped the Beastmen casting any spells.

Turn 2

One unit of Dwarf Miners arrives at the rear of the Beastmen army threatening the only recently arrived ambushing Ungor.

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Meanwhile the Dwarf Rangers charge into the Ungor with spears.

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The first unit of Quarrellers opens fire on the already wounded Tuskgor Chariot, but in a poor shooting attempt they fail to do any wounds. The second unit consider responding to the Harpy threat on their flank, but instead attempt to destroy the same chariot, again another poor roll only causes two wounds. One wound is saved leaving the Tuskgor Chariot still alive on its final wound!

In combat the block of Ungor Spears manages to wound 4 Dwarf Rangers, though one blow is saved by the Dwarfen armour. However 9 Ungor are slain and they promptly flee. The Rangers attempt to restrain to avoid overrunning and exposing their flanks. However the Dwarfs fail their leadership check and to add insult to injury fail to catch the Ungor.

The Beastmen seize the initiative, sending the Bestigor and the Razorgor into the flank of the Rangers. The Spawn also ambles in as well.

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The Harpies charge the Quarrellers, electing to charge on foot to avoid any danger from the forest.

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The rest of the Beastmen head directly into the Ogham Stones, whilst the fleeing Ungor rally and with their comrades position themselves to divert the newly arrived Miners away from the centre of the battlefield.

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Again despite the power of the Ogham Stones another Rune of Spellbreaking effectively shuts down the magic phase. The Ungor Raiders remain too far away to shoot so we proceed straight to the combat phase.

The Harpies manage to fell a single Dwarf Quarreller, the Quarrellers manage to score a single wound in return, but the Harpies win the combat by two for their flank charge and the Dwarfs fail their break test. The Harpies elect to pursue by flight, losing another of their number to a dangerous terrain test, but it's worth it as they catch and rip apart the crossbow armed Dwarfs.

The main combat starts in the centre of the battlefield, with most of the combatants armed with Great Weapons the Spawn and Razorgor hit first – well they would except the Spawn only rolls a 1 for its random attacks, and both the monstrous creatures fail to score a single hit!! Delithor, the Great Bray Shaman fares little better causing a single wound which is saved. The unit champions kill each other in a challenge, and the Bestigor kill 5 Rangers for 3 loses themselves. However the Dwarf Thane makes way through his unit to inflict three wounds on Delithor, sadly his Talisman of Preservation deserts him as he fails to roll a single 4+ and is slain. Critically this brings the Bestigor unit down below ten models so they no longer disrupt the Dwarf's rank bonus. Despite two successful stomps from the monsters, the Beastmen lose the combat by two, and though the Bestigor hold, the Razorgor flees from the fight.

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Turn 3

The Dwarf Miners charge into the Ungor unit armed with hand weapons and shields. Meanwhile the second unit of Miners arrive at the rear of the battlefield to reinforce the remaining unit of Quarrellers who reform into ranks should the Harpies or one of the Razorgor charge them.

With no shooting it's straight onto the combat phase. The Ungors manage to kill 2 Miners, but unsurprisingly lose 4 of their number and flee. The Miners pursue but fail to catch the Ungor or reach their spear armed counterparts.

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In the main combat the Spawn again rolls a 1 for its attacks and again fails to hit the Dwarfs. The Bestigor do three wounds in return for a similar number of casualties and with the death of the Spawn it's just too much for them, as they flee escaping the pursuing Rangers.

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In a hopeful bid to thin down the Rangers' numbers all three Tuskgor Chariots crash into the Ranger unit.

The remaining Bray Shaman is vexed by the Runesmith who pulls out a third Rune of Spellbreaking to stop Withering being cast on the Rangers. The Shaman then responds by casting Penumbral Pendulum with Irresistible Force down the flank of the Quarrellers taking out 4 Dwarfs and the Runesmith who'd frustrated him so much!

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The miscast wounds the Shaman and kills a couple of Bestigor. And due to the power of the Ogham spells the random spell Caress of Linph is randomly cast on one of the Dwarf Thanes killing him.

In shooting the Ungor Raiders are finally in range of the Quarrellers but are unable to wound them.

In the combat phase the three chariots roll 12 impact hits, but then when rolling to wound score enough 2s to convincing win a game of Yahtzee, meaning only 3 wounds are done on the Dwarfs. The crew add another 4 wounds to the tally but the Rangers make short work of all three chariots. The Ungor Raiders who've recently made it into range are panicked by this and flee!

Turn 4

Turn 4 begins with a raft of Dwarf charges, the first unit of Dwarf Miners that has arrived charged the remaining Ungor with spears. The second unit of Miners charge the Harpies who had positioned themselves to draw the Miners away from the Ogham Stones. The Quarrellers charge the Razorgor threatening them. However the Rangers are unable to reach the Bestigor denying them an important flank charge.

The Miners make mincemeat of the Ungor Spearmen killing all bar the champion, who flees panicking the other unit of nearby Ungor.

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The second unit of Miners killed the remaining Harpies for no loss. And the Razorgor kills 3 Quarrellers in return for 2 wounds. Despite the combat resolution from the ranks, the Razorgor holds.

The Bestigor charge the Quarrellers unit to help out the Razorgor. Despite having 6 fleeing units, only the few remaining Ungor with hand weapons rally!

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Despite the loss of their Runesmith, the Beastmen are unable to get any spells off. In the combat phase the Quarrellers fail to cause a single wound and break under the onslaught of the Bestigor and Razorgor. The Razorgor pursues running them down, whilst the Bestigor successfully restrain and reform to face the Rangers.

Turn 5

The Miners charge the Razorgor who just ran down the Quarrellers, despite the potential risk of a rear charge on the Bestigor, the Razorgor flees in the hope to leave the Miners stranded away from the Ogham Stones. The gamble pays off as the Miners fail their redirected charge on the Bestigor. The Rangers however successfully charge the front of the Bestigor.

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The Bestigor inflict four wounds including one on the Dwarf General. In return the Dwarfs kill both the Wargor Battle Standard Bearer and the Bray Shaman, but they lose the combat by 1. Rolling a 12 for their break test the Rangers flee and are rundown by the jubilant Bestigor.

The Beastmen's fifth turn is dominated by movement as all units that aren't fleeing enter the Ogham Stones in the hope of outnumbering the surviving Dwarfs. The only other action is the Ungor Raiders finally do something, shooting a single Miner.

Turn 6

One of the Miners unit charges the Bestigor, whilst the other one enters the Ogham Stones

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With no shooting, it was straight to the combat phase where the Bestigor and Miners drew the combat.

The Beastmen turn sees the Ungor Raiders and normal unit hit the rear and flank of the engaged Miners. Again the fleeing Beastmen units are reluctant to return all continuing to flee the battle with the Razorgor leaving the Ogham Stones.

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In the final combat the Ungors roll poorly and only inflict a single wound, the Bestigor manage to cut down four Miners as well. But the Dwarfs resolutely bring down seven beasts in return. However it's not enough as the Miners break and are rundown by the Beastmen.

With both sides having units in the Ogham Stones at the end of the final turn, it comes down to remaining wounds. The Dwarfs have their only remaining unit of Miners – relatively untouched, whilst the Beastmen have a number of straggling Bestigor and Ungor units. But totally up the remaining wounds that are not fleeing within the stones. It comes to 24 remaining wounds to the Dwarfs, and 23 remaining Beastmen!! Viciously close.

The battlefield was quiet finally, there were many dead Dwarfs lying across the battlefield, comparatively the Beastmen's casualties were lighter – most of them had fled the battlefield. But in the centre of the Ogham Stones lay the shattered dead body of Delithor the Great Bray-Shaman.

But at the stroke of midnight as Morrslieb was fullest in the night sky, power flowed through the Ogham Stones. And then a bright energetic burst surged into Delithor's body. With a mighty roar the Shaman's life blood returned. His wounds reknit themselves and he strode to his hooves again, more powerful than ever before. The Gods of Chaos still had use for Delithor...


Sandra's Tactical Advice

Musings on the outcome of the battle from our resident tactical genius.

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This battle showed interesting tactical choices with less than optimum forces – the Dwarfs had gone without their much needed war machines, and Matt had chosen Beastmen. The idiot. Both sides showed a surprising amount of poor fortune, with the Beastmen virtually unable to hit, especially when it came to their monsters who don't benefit from primal fury rerolls.  Whilst the Beastmen had a favourable tactic of using small units to try and divert and tie up the relatively small number of Dwarf units, they then suffered as they simply couldn't rally the large number of fleeing troops. On the other hand the Dwarfs simply couldn't pass any break tests, a surprisingly large number of high rolls let their units be rundown by the Beastmen.

Had I taken control I would have used the Beastmen's fast skirmishing units to hold up the Miners better and stop them entering the Ogham Stones. Or failing that I'd have used my trusty Ogres and smashed the opposition with Mournfang Cavalry and Ironblasters.

87.5 – Cygor Painting Guide

Those of you following the Tales of Rashnrak will remember that the bad-tempered Beastlord took a Cygor into battle in Month 3, see Update 84. Now I'm not one for the scandalous behaviour of taking non-painted models onto the table top, but I have to confess I didn't quite get this one finished. Pleasingly I've sorted out those details now, so here's a quick guide for you painting guide fans.

I would like to say I do think the Cygor/Ghorgon kit is amazing, it completely dwarfs the Giant kit

Cygor Painting Guide – Stage 1

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Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Chardonite Granite, then Adeptus Battlegrey, then Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Straps: Scorched Brown
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Skaven Bell: Dwarf Bronze
Masonry: Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Mouth: Liche Purple


Cygor Painting Guide – Stage 2

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Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh:  Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Red Fabric: Wash Devlan Mud
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey
Straps: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: NONE
Skaven Bell: Wash Devlan Mud
Masonry: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tin Metal: NONE
Mouth: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 3:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink


Cygor Painting Guide – Stage 3

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Base: NONE
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Dheneb Stone
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh:  Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1(1:1 Blood Red/Mechrite Red)/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Rocks: Drybrush Codex Grey
Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: NONE
Skaven Bell: Drybrush Dwarf Bronze, then drybrush 1:1 Dwarf Bronze/Chainmail
Masonry: Drybrush Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Mouth: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White


Cygor Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1157.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1160.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1164.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1168.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1172.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock Scorched Grass, then cover in Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh:  Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Highlight 3:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown, then highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Highlight Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey, then wash Nuln Oil, then selectively drybrush Camo Green
Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Wood: NONE
Skaven Bell: Wash 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Hawk Turquoise, then wash 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Hawk Turquoise/Rotting Flesh
Masonry: Drybrush Fortress Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White, then selectively drybrush Camo Green
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Mouth: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Devlan Mud/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Vines: Paint Catachan Green, then layer Dark Angels Green, then drybrush Camo Green


87.6 – Competition Update

Just a quick reminder of last week's competition, where you need to guess the point's value of fully painted High Elf army. I'm thinking of catchily calling it "Guess the Weight of the High Elf Army"? Hmmm....

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN567.jpg)

If you guess the closest points value you win your very own Games Workshop army, as drawn by the resident six-year old artist.

Full terms and conditions (which probably won't stand up to full legal scrutiny), can be found in Update 86. But remember it's going to be totalled up as an army as modelled, with too few core to be legal – I'm not painting any more Spearmen ok!

Once you have you decided upon your answer simply post it on the forum, closing date will be announced in due course. In the event of a tie the two competitors will be forced to have a dance-off and Len Goodman will decide upon the winner. But don't let that put you off, get answering.

87.7 – Get In Touch

This may seem like a random section at the end of the blog, however I realise that sometimes I ramble for so long you may have forgotten some of the earlier questions I've posed during the hours of writing. So this new section is just a little summary of things I'm confused by, ideas I've had and where feedback is needed. This week, here's what I'd like your thoughts upon:


Well I hope you've enjoyed the new look Procrastination by Numbers, I'm off for a lie down. See you next week!
Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on October 22, 2012, 09:49:04 am
I said on twitter that I hated this... That was only to look cool in public and I actually enjoyed it... A bit!

Hmmm - I really like Ultramarines with snow bases... I like the contrast. I'm going to go for 7845 points for the high elf contest - although I fear I'm a little under!

Keep up the good work!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on October 22, 2012, 12:39:11 pm
Ok lets go with 8,000 point bang on (how unlikely is that?)

As for tips with the marines it depends very much how you want to use them. The marines are a jack of all trades, master of none. They can be aggressive using lots of bikes and deep striking termies or can form a gunline - not unlike my double vindi crutch which has a tendancy to snap if any weight is applied.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 22, 2012, 01:34:55 pm
For your 270pts I'd have gone tacticals plus captain, but 2.5 termies is equally valid.

Basing is an interesting one, I somewhat cheated with my marines, if you look at their bases it's made to look a bit icy but achieved through multiple layers of drybrushing on the existing surface of the base.  If I could be bothered I should really go back and cover the whole lot with a layer of water effect or the likes but with 100+ models I can't really be bothered.

For my Eldar my decision was made by what I'd purchased, a heap of the second hand models I'd got had a really course sand/gravel finish on it so rocky rubble became the obvious choice.

Overall what you want to have in a marine army is:
captain & command squad x 3
Chaplain, librarian, tech marine x 2 inc thunderfire cannon
6 tactical squads, 2 dev squads, 2 assault squads, 8 rhinos
100 scouts (10 squads), or you could mount some of these on bikes if you wanted for maybe a 60/40 split, landspeeder storms for all the unmounted squads
60 terminators (30 shooty, 30 assault), 20 Stormguard, 20 Vanguard, 6 x land raiders for the termies (2 of each type), 4 x razorbacks for the stormguard)
Mounted company of marines, maybe 100 bikes is overkill so possibly replace a couple of the squads with 3 x land speeders.
Support vehicles 6 dreadnaughts, 3 predators, 3 vindicators.
2-3 aeroplane thingies.

Overall I think that's about 4 companies worth of space marines.  If you want to be really fluffy then there is a lot of guidance as to what the actual composition of the various ultramarine companies should be which you could follow if you really wanted to be a completist but somehow I doubt you want to paint 1000 space marines.

There you go I think that covers every entry in the space marine codex with more than you could ever hope to use! So a suitable equivalent for your high elf army.

p.s. that was tongue in cheek, please don't buy all that!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 22, 2012, 02:25:51 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 22, 2012, 01:34:55 pm
p.s. that was tongue in cheek, please don't buy all that!

S**t I've alreadt placed the order!  :endit:

Quote from: Dave on October 22, 2012, 01:34:55 pm
p.s. that was tongue in cheek, please don't buy all that!

Yeah mainly avoided the captain, just to give me the chance to get the hang of a painting scheme before I get jiggy with a character.

Quote from: roland murat on October 22, 2012, 12:39:11 pm
As for tips with the marines it depends very much how you want to use them. The marines are a jack of all trades, master of none. They can be aggressive using lots of bikes and deep striking termies or can form a gunline - not unlike my double vindi crutch which has a tendancy to snap if any weight is applied.

I'm definitely trying to avoid my High Elf/Beastmen approach and buying one of everything. Fun once, but not again (for a while). I'm sure I'll discuss this more as we progress but think I'm going to be choosing my army mainly based around the models I like - In with the Whirlwind and Razorback out with the Land Raider and Drop Pod (not that those models are wrong per se, just my preferences!).

Quote from: Steve H on October 22, 2012, 09:49:04 am
I said on twitter that I hated this... That was only to look cool in public and I actually enjoyed it... A bit!

Hmmm - I really like Ultramarines with snow bases... I like the contrast.

I totally understand the constant pressure to look cool, it's hard work.

Yeah tempted by snow - they wouldn't mind an army that doesn't require flocking - and did a sort of meltsnow/permafrost on the Beastmen and Warriors though.

Today I'm leaning towards Martian terrain, though that does prevent the use of the Basing Paints - which may or may not be any good?



Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on October 24, 2012, 11:04:45 pm
Quote from: roland murat on October 22, 2012, 12:39:11 pm
Ok lets go with 8,000 point bang on (how unlikely is that?)

Well better get my entry in...  I'll take 8990
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Blotthrower on October 25, 2012, 10:58:47 am
I'll weigh in with a conservative guess of 6994pts
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 29, 2012, 07:46:17 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 88 – October Blues  Monday 29th October 2012

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Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

88.1 – Meet the Team

There's a whole array of people who make up this illustrious guide to the gaming world revered by no one. So let's meet them and see what they're up to this week!

Matty the Painter

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Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has sent his face trick or treating, winning himself approximately 200lbs of chocolate and giving several elderly neighbours a heart attack. Annoyingly he also starts a new job so will have no time to paint any more!

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

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For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been crying as she's lost her orange felt tip pen and can't draw any Halloween pumpkins. On the plus side she's got through to the interview stage of the Newsnight editor job.

Mr Shakey Shakey

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Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey hasn't finished painting any Wood Elves. What a surprise?

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

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Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

This week it's been impossible to get Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant's nose out of the new Warriors of Chaos supplement. Battlefields around the greenhouse have been trembling at the thought of her Skullcrusher Cavalry.

88.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 8

So for those of you who missed last week, I'm partaking in the Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines whereby I paint up an Ultramarine army month by month until I've painted an entire Chapter and spent a billion pounds – no naughty, that must not happen!! Last week I told you what I'd decided to paint for my first month, and already we've reached the first error as I thought I had to paint 275 points a month, but actually I only need to paint 250 points a month. This administrative error technically means I can claim to have painted 10% of my army already. No? Well it was a worth a try.

Anyway that adjustment means that this month's painting tasks can be summarised as (dropping that annoying half a Terminator):

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad (2 of 5) 80 points (of 200 points – full squad)
80 points

TOTAL: 250 points

So that's one full squad of Tactical Marines and a start at the Terminator Squad (I believe the kit from Assault on Black Reach have no special weapons?!?!?), which I'll then finish in Month 2.

With that sorted it was time to get all my clippers and glue together and get assembling.

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Given that I needed to assemble 12 of the 17 models in the Assault on Black Reach kit I decided I may as well build and clean up the parts for all of them together. Sadly it was at this point I discovered there were great evils in this world that I needed my Ultramarines to protect me from:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1251.jpg)


Quickly moving on... soon all the parts of the Ultramarines were cleaned up (sadly some of the Assault on Black Reach sprues have quite chunky mould lines. The kits are all snap-fit anyway so I was able to do a test run without any glue.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1252.jpg)

So here's the Tactical Sqaud:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1253.jpg)

And my Terminators, who seem to have quite a lot of space on their bases – is that normal? I'm guessing the bits of decoration I found on their sprues are for the holes?!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1254.jpg)

I made a decision (I know!) on basing and decided to not go for the frozen landscape, as being my only Warhammer 40,000 army I wanted to take the opportunity to go for an alien landscape. A bit of Googling turned up some pictures of the surface of Mars which fitted the bill nicely:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1261.jpg)

This looked like a good non-Earth landscape, but what I like about the Martian surface is it still looks natural even though not Earth like. I think it's the use of natural colours in greater quantity rather than saying using lime green or sky blue with pink spots. Plus I also liked the idea of my Space Marines fighting over a barren wasteland. Any Star Trek fans may remember the brilliant Deep Space Nine episode "The Siege of ARR-558", where Sisko and co are locked in a bloody ground combat battle with the Dominion for this worthless barren rock that isn't even worth a proper name. There was something quite grim and pointless about that, and I felt that background suited the dark reality of the 41st Millennium.

To achieve this effect I super glued some bits of slate in a scattered pattern to each base to represent the larger stones (for my Warhammer basing I'm more likely to do clusters of stones), then used PVA to glue sand to the rest of the base.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1262.jpg)

Once this had dried I washed the sand with a mix of water and PVA to seal it, I added a small amount of Fairy liquid to this mix to break the surface tension of the water so it runs more easily through the sand. And leaves your Space Marines smelling lemony-flesh. They then got put in the airing cupboard (known as the Cupboard of Doom due to the large quantities of c**p in it) to dry.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1263.jpg)

This will need several hours to dry thoroughly, but here's some I made earlier (sorry gone all Blue Peter – actually I just waited a few hours):

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The Terminators had extra bits of terrain to go into the spare foot hole on the base, and I added a piece or resin decoration from the Warhammer 40,000 Basing Kit to each of the Squad leaders' bases.

With assembly done it was time for spraying! Logic dictates it would be easier to paint the Ultramarines without their bolt guns in place, so I separated them from the Marines. I then used White-Tac (the pure and noble version of the foul-mouthed blue adhesive putty) to cover the holes and the tabs on the bolt gun. These simple push-assembly models fit quite snuggly so an extra layer of paint can give you trouble reassembling.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1267.jpg)

At this point I should say whilst White-Tac isn't very expensive this putty will be sacrificed during spraying, so bare that in mind if it is the pack the wife uses to hold up all the Christmas cards or if to get the White-Tac in the first place all the children's posters are now in a heap on the floor. Unless of course said posters are Justin Beiber, in which case you should probably burn the posters and the White-Tac and to be safe probably the children.

With that done it's time to head to an outside area for spraying, undercoating is relatively weather tolerant provided it's dry and there's no real extremes of conditions you'll probably be alright. Varnishing on the other hand requires it to be dry, not too gusty, not too sunny, not too cold and preferably with the planets in alignment. Generally this only leaves two days in the year that the British climate accommodates varnishing.

To protect your spraying area, use a cardboard box and plenty of newspaper to cover the surface.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1268.jpg)

I attached each model to a thin strip of cardboard (cut down cereal box) with White-Tac, allowing me to freely rotate the models in the spray getting the best possible coverage.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1270.jpg)

I would at this point recommend using a plastic glove, or even a plastic bag to protect the hand holding the card.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1269.jpg)

With all that advice all the models were swiftly undercoated.

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Now I don't know about you, but when starting a new army like this I always like to have a basic guide to work from. Often I don't end up sticking to it, changing some colours or adding refinements in as I go, but it is helpful to have a starting point. So I "borrowed" my flatmates iPad and downloaded the Ultramarines painting guide from the Book Store:

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I have to say I was pretty impressed with the guide. There's a load of different bits and details covered, crossing the whole range from your basic Tactical Squad, to embellishments for more elite troops, characters, Scouts, armour for tanks and Dreadnoughts and a guide to the Stormtalon Gunship. You get loads of photos of each stage, and the simple key using the brushes and basic steps from the How to Paint Citadel Miniatures book makes it really easy to follow.

Initially I had considered using the Citadel Spray Gun to undercoat my marines blue, a quick opinion check on Twitter told me that the Spray Gun was about as useful as using cauliflower cheese as a contraceptive. So I panicked at the potential options, and just decided to undercoat using a brush.

Given we've got a brand new (well new in April paint range), I made the perhaps foolish decision to switch over for this new army. Yes I've got most of the old range, but I'm starting to run out some of the colours plus I'd rather start a fresh project with a consistent colour scheme than having to switch part way through. The old colours would still be put to good work finishing and expanding my existing armies (Beastmen, High Elves, Warriors), and would work for smaller one off projects (Dreadfleet, terrain etc.). With that in mind I made a list of the colours I needed, now I was going to put the whole order in with Ol. But I was worried that if I didn't get some paints in straight away I was going to fall behind whilst I waited for my delivery. So I made a little trip to an Italian sounding place on Oxford Street:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1256.jpg)

Which contains one of my favourite childhood sights:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1257.jpg)

And I picked up the basic blue paints to get me started.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1273.jpg)

Sorry Ol, please don't hit me, I know it was a bitter rival. I am a bad person for doing this, it was just this once. Don't hit me, don't hit me, not my beautiful face. It will never happen again. I promise to be loyal!

With me able to make some progress with the blue paints, I purchased the rest of the colours I would need from my preferred supplier:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1258.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1259.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1260.jpg)

Those paints will be with me this week. But in the meantime I started with the blue and painted a test model up to spec:

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I'll talk more about the paints and techniques used this week. Personally I'm not quite sure I'm happy with it. Not sure if I feel the blue should be brighter or not? May do some more tests this week. I will keep you informed. But any thoughts would be welcome. Just in my end Ultramarines are a brighter, more vibrant, but not lighter shade of blue.

88.3 – Warriors of Chaos Releases

The brand new White Dwarf – November 2012 (395) was poked through my letterbox this weekend – rude!

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And with a plethora of new Warriors releases for a veteran Warriors of Chaos player like myself, let's see what we've got. Obviously I would go through the ins and outs of the new units but Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant got her branches on the guide and wouldn't let go – especially as it was in handy pot plant sized form.

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The Warshrine of Chaos looks great – nothing like what I suspected, but then even in the designer's notes in Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos pretty much says the designer doesn't know what it looks like. Think I'll be adding one of these to my army soon, they look fun to paint.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1276.jpg)

I love the new Skullcrushers of Khorne, they are everything that a Warriors of Chaos army should be: Armour-clad Unsubtleness.

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The Hellstriders of Slaanesh are alright, but I've always been less of a fan of the Marauder element. They're good models don't get me wrong, but not my favourite of the Warriors range.

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The special characters are great, big fan of Valkia and Festus. Not sure Scyla needed a new model personally, but in fairness I like the way it looks more like it's erupting out of its own skin. If that makes sense?!

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(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1279.jpg)

The only problem with all this, from my point of view, is that my Warriors of Chaos army is a Tzeentch only army! The only army I've ever given a proper theme to. So pretty much all I can add is the Warshrine. I think it might get dangerous if I open up the gates to the other gods!! Insert sad face. But I suppose I can now add a Finecast Galrauch...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1281.jpg)

...maybe!!

No Matty, don't get distracted by another army box set just before Christmas!!

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Of course there are some non-Warriors releases, yet more colours of paints – how many shades of pink do we need! And a mega, mega, mega paint set.

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I have to say I really like the box all the paints live in, in the mega set, not enough to shell out £280. But I do like it!

Something that definitely is tempting me is the new basing kits; the current ones are great so personally I'm all up for more resin pieces. Think I may start with the Northern Wastes kit, and may finish with all 4!! Naughty!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1284.jpg)

To be honest given how bad a Warriors of Chaos month should be for my wallet, a Warshrine and a handful of Basing Kits is probably surprising good. Can't quite work out whether Tzeentch is rewarding me or not?!!

88.4 – Rant of the Week

It's been a while since I've had a good rant. Some people think I've mellowed, they are wrong...

There's a menace to society, its activities hidden in plain sight, for some reason it remains utterly unchallenged despite its dark consequences. You may not think you've been a victim, yet you almost certainly have, unaware that it has struck you.

Picture the scene; you are confidently striding down the road, something you do every day, happy that you are in a safe environment. You cross the street looking both ways, the traffic has stopped and you make it across the road without any problems. You then go to enter a building something you do every day, it's a double door and you push the door on the left, only to go slamming into the door, because someone has decided to only open the door on the right.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1243.jpg)

How the hell is this ridiculous blight on modern society allowed? I mean why is not illegal to randomly leave one door of a set of two locked without any warning? You put down a sign warning of a wet floor, for health & safety reasons, but it's perfectly alright to send people crashing into essentially booby trapped doors for no reason at all. There's no sign indicating that randomly this door is locked but the identical one next to it isn't. There's no convention on which of the two doors "traditionally" should be left open, so you always know to default to the one on the right. No there's just you being felt to look like a right pillock in public for no discernible reason at all. You look like the idiot, the clutz, the douche, yet it isn't your fault – how the hell are you supposed to know?

Why does this happen anyway? How f**king long does it to take to unlock the second door that means that you don't have time to do it anyway? What kind of security system do you have in place that makes opening the second door so bloody time consuming given you've already gone to the effort of the first? How can your time be so precious that you don't have time for the second door? What else are you busy doing? Taking the batteries out of half the smoke detectors? Removing 50% of the manhole covers in the street outside? If you really want to have a section of wall that is partly see-through but doesn't actually open try fitting a sodding window!

Who hasn't got the time or inclination to open both doors? You don't go to eat an egg but only have time to eat the yolk. You don't go to put a DVD on but only have time to turn on the DVD player but not the telly. You don't let your girlfriend just fondle one of your testicles. But instead because you're too busy/lazy to open the other door, a series of poor unsuspecting individuals are forced to walk head long into a door that looks like it's open when it's not because they took the wrong guess in a 50:50 gamble. Why not toss a coin and punch people in the face if tails comes up?

And if you're the kind of unscrupulous individual who deliberately leaves one door locked in the hope that you can send into your security camera footage to You've Been Framed just so you can pocket £750, then why don't you go the full hog, erect a brick wall behind the open door, electrocute the door handle and drop a 1 tonne anvil on my head as I walk through the door. No of course you're not going to do that, because that would be stupid... so next time open both of the bloody doors.

I'm done. Rant over. As you were people.

88.5 – Dreadfleet – Swordfish Painting Guide

Whilst I've been putting off procrastinating about how to paint my Ultramarines I've made some effort to get some other painting done, finishing off some more of the Dreadfleet ships that I promised myself I'd paint before the end of the year. I only have two months to paint the rest of the set. Gulp!!

Anyway here is the guide to painting the Swordfish, a pirate ship captained by a Mermaid. The theme of the ship is sea monsters and I've painted the masts etc., as if they were the bones of giant sea creatures.

Swordfish Painting Guide – Stage 1

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Sea: Regal Blue
Deck: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Chaos Black, then Drybrush Codex Grey
Bone: Dheneb Stone
Gold: 1:1 Shining Gold/Scorched Brown
Silver: Boltgun Metal
Hull: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Chaos Black
Sails: Layer 1:1 Codex Grey/Chaos Black
Sail (Bone): Astronomacian Grey
Sail (Green): 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue
Sea Creatures: Adeptus Battlegrey


Swordfish Painting Guide – Stage 2

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Sea: Heavily Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Deck: DONE
Bone: Wash Devlan Mud
Gold: Shining Gold
Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Hull: Edge highlight Adeptus Battlegrey
Sails: Edge highlight Codex Grey
Sail (Bone): Wash watered down Shadow Grey
Sail (Green): Wash Nuln Oil
Sea Creatures: Layer Codex Grey


Swordfish Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1246.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush Ice Blue
Deck: DONE
Bone: Highlighted Bleached Bone
Gold: Wash Devlan Mud
Silver: Highlight Chainmail
Hull: Edge Codex Grey
Sails: NONE
Sail (Bone): Highlight Astronomacian Grey
Sail (Green): Highlight 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue
Sea Creatures: Wash Nuln Oil


Swordfish Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1206.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1211.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1212.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1202.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Thraka Green/Nuln Oil, then paint crests watered down Skull White
Deck: DONE
Bone: Highlight Skull White
Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Silver: DONE
Hull: DONE
Sails: Wash Nuln Oil
Sail (Bone): Highlight Bleached Bone
Sail (Green): Highlight 1:1:1 Enchanted Blue/Dark Angels Green/Skull White
Sea Creatures: Highlight Fortress Grey
Sail Rings: Highlight Chainmail


88.6 – Dreadfleet – Curse of Zandri Painting Guide

And the second ship I've painted is the Curse of Zandri, a Tomb Kings warship built to retrieve some stolen artefacts.

The Curse of Zandri Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1247.jpg)

Sea: Regal Blue
Deck and Oars: Steel Legion Drab
Wicker: Steel Legion Drab
Bones (and Deck based Weapons): Dheneb Stone
Marble Ushabti: Highlight Dark Angels Green
Gold: 1:1 Shining Gold/Scorched Brown
Black Hull: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Chaos Black
Red Detail: Mechrite Red
Blue Detail: Regal Blue
Gem: Dark Angels Green


The Curse of Zandri Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1248.jpg)

Sea: Heavily Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Deck and Oars: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Wicker: Wash Devlan Mud
Bones (and Deck based Weapons): Wash Devlan Mud
Marble Ushabti: Highlight Hawk Turquoise
Gold: Shining Gold
Black Hull: Edge highlight Adeptus Battlegrey
Red Detail: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Blue Detail: Layer Enchanted Blue
Gem: Highlight Snot Green


The Curse of Zandri Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1249.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush wave crests Ice Blue
Deck and Oars: Wash Devlan Mud
Wicker: Drybrush Desert Yellow
Bones (and Deck based Weapons): Highlight Bleached Bone
Marble Ushabti: Edge highlight Ice Blue
Gold: Wash Devlan Mud
Black Hull: Edge Highlight Codex Grey
Red Detail: Highlight Blood Red
Blue Detail: Highlight 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey
Gem: Highlight Scorpion Green


The Curse of Zandri Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1178.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1193.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1187.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1185.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Thraka Green/Nuln Oil, then paint crests watered down Skull White
Deck and Oars: Drybrush Graveyard Earth
Wicker: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Bones (and Deck based Weapons): Highlight Skull White
Marble Ushabti: DONE
Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Black Hull: DONE
Red Detail: Fine highlight Vomit Brown
Blue Detail: Fine highlight Space Wolves Grey
Gem: Highlight Golden Yellow


88.7 – Competition Update

We've had loads of entries for the "Guess the Weight of the High Elf Army".

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN567.jpg)

If you haven't yet had a guess at the points value of the above High Elf army, then this is the last week to have a guess. Entries closes on Friday 2nd of November, so get posting. Results will be announced in Update 89.

Full details can be found in Update 86.

88.8 – Get In Touch

As always here's a summary of the week's key talking points. So please get your thinking caps on:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where you can see such exciting things as me getting told off by the Deputy Editor of the White Dwarf.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1285.png)

Oops naughty Matty!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 29, 2012, 10:58:22 am
awesome, I'd not noticed that it was WD staff that were telling you off, you warhammer celebrity you...

Great work on keeping on going with dreadfleet, mine continues to sit unloved in it's box.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 29, 2012, 11:56:52 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 29, 2012, 10:58:22 am
awesome, I'd not noticed that it was WD staff that were telling you off, you warhammer celebrity you...

Great work on keeping on going with dreadfleet, mine continues to sit unloved in it's box.

Clearly it takes very little to become a Warhammer celebrity. Maybe I could go on I'm a Warhammer Celebrity Get Me Out of Here... where presumably I'd be forced to lie in a pit of Nurglings and eat Ogre testicles?

Cheers, actually I always put off painting Dreadfleet thinking I should be doing something more useful, but once I get going really enjoy it. The best way to do something you've been putting off is to take only that round to a friends/parents/etc and your paints - have to paint it then. Or make polite conversation, but that will never happen! Will I finish it before 2013 though as promised?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on October 30, 2012, 01:12:49 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 29, 2012, 07:46:17 am
Annoyingly he also starts a new job so will have no time to paint any more!

hey, congratulations on that one.

I'm sure the painting time lost will be well spent gathering material to rant over in coming blog entries.... -Just when you think the irritations of commuting and forced interaction with the general public has thrown all it has at you, a highly inventive new low will be just around the corner :p
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 30, 2012, 11:23:22 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on October 30, 2012, 01:12:49 pm
hey, congratulations on that one.

I'm sure the painting time lost will be well spent gathering material to rant over in coming blog entries.... -Just when you think the irritations of commuting and forced interaction with the general public has thrown all it has at you, a highly inventive new low will be just around the corner :p

Many thanks! Yeah I am annoyed already!! Quelle surprise!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 31, 2012, 09:14:14 am
What is your new job, still in TV or have you found a new outlet for your creative skills (other than blogging)?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: jackhoneysett on October 31, 2012, 09:32:14 am
Good luck with the new job Matt!

I must confess I haven't really kept up with you're blog since my warhammer rage quit...
But I liked it! You're painting space people now!

I also welcome Sandra to your team. I'd watch out for her, I reckon she'll be asking for more money soon or have her eye on your job. Gamey bitch.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on October 31, 2012, 11:48:48 am
Nice update, loving the new look  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 31, 2012, 08:07:50 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 31, 2012, 09:14:14 am
What is your new job, still in TV or have you found a new outlet for your creative skills (other than blogging)?

Thanks bizarrely it's the same job as before. The wonderful wold of TV means only get employed when there's a project to work on - fortunately there is one now! However in the meantime the company has moved office, so it feels new! Hehe.

Quote from: jackhoneysett on October 31, 2012, 09:32:14 am
I must confess I haven't really kept up with you're blog since my warhammer rage quit...
But I liked it! You're painting space people now!

Rage quitting my blog! How could you? Well glad you like the new look and the 40K - may get some painted one day!

Quote from: jackhoneysett on October 31, 2012, 09:32:14 am
I also welcome Sandra to your team. I'd watch out for her, I reckon she'll be asking for more money soon or have her eye on your job. Gamey bitch.

Yeah she is a gamey bitch, fortunately her lack of legs mean it's quite easy to get the better off her. Unless she develops a new tactic.... uh oh!

Quote from: fatolaf on October 31, 2012, 11:48:48 am
Nice update, loving the new look  :thumbsup:

Cheers dude glad you like it!! Hoping I can keep it up! (No smut intended!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 31, 2012, 09:14:28 pm
Oh and a quick reminder, if you haven't yet entered the Guess the Weight of the High Elf competition... you've only got two more days! Guesses in by Friday please.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 05, 2012, 08:28:41 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 89 – Why does it always Terrain on me?  Monday 5th November 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

89.1 – Meet the Team

And you thought it was just me?! Nope there's a whole team of misguided fools taking part in this madness. Here's what they've been up to this week.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty got lucky, seeing fireworks in the bedroom... the local council display was visible from his window!

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has had to be packed away in a box and placed under the bed so she isn't scared of the fireworks, and coincidentally so that the social services inspection goes better.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week we learnt that Mr Shakey Shakey shouldn't be allowed to hold sparklers, shakey hands plus fireworks equals £2,700 worth of damage to the neighbour's shed.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

This week Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant was revealed as the mastermind orchestrator of Disney's purchase of the Star Wars franchise. Her share options alone netted her a cool $4.2bn, which she's spent entirely on Dark Elf Crossbowmen.

89.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 15

My quest to paint 250 points worth of Ultramarines a month continues, albeit rather slowly, last month I'd painted a test Ultramarine's blue power armour. Using the Games Workshop guide, and I didn't like it:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1559.jpg)

I quite liked the look I'd got in terms of layers and washes, but I wasn't thrilled with the actual shade of blue I had achieved. It just wasn't what, in my mind, an Ultramarine should be.

Last week when I popped into Games Workshop to buy my blue paints, I had a chat with one of the members of staff (they like to chat, who knew?) talking about how he'd painted his Ultramarines. As I was passing by Games Workshop I thought I'd check in, with my model in hand, and ask for advice, as luck would have it the same guy was in there and remembered our conversation (or pretended to, to be polite – I get that a lot). After discussions he suggested I try either the same colours over a white undercoat, or change the shades of blue up one set.

Best option to try next seemed to be the white undercoat, though I realised I was hoping that didn't work as foolishly I'd applied a blue basecoat to all the squad, so would be annoyed if I'd had to strip that!! In my bits box I found an old Ultramarine I think had been free with the White Dwarf or something, so I decided to try it on him.

Now many have you have asked where I get all this newspaper from to do my spraying and undercoating. Actually no one has asked that, but it's a good opportunity to go off on a tangent. This week actually there's been an amazing special offer in WHSmith (of all places), where you buy a 40p LEGO set every day. Sadly in return for this amazing deal you are expected to take a copy of The Sun with you.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1629.jpg)

On the plus side, I have now large quantities of newspapers, and short of burning, what's the best thing you can do with The Sun other than spray it with Skull White or Chaos Black?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1563.jpg)


The other advantage of this offer is I've now started a Lord of the Rings army – so far I have an Uruk Hai and Ballista, and Frodo with camp fire perhaps someone with the relevant books would be kind enough to cost that up please?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1565.jpg)

In addition my army also contains a Police launch boat, construction truck with dynamite, Ninja snake catapult and Zombie in a coffin car. I really must keep up with these new units they keep releasing rules for in the White Dwarf.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1566.jpg)

I sprayed my test Ultramarine with Skull White; I have no intention of using him. so I didn't even bother cleaning up mould lines etc.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1630.jpg)

I then repeated my initial blue paint scheme over the white undercoat. Last week I didn't really speak about colours, so here's what I used:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1273.jpg)

I basecoated Macragge Blue, then washed it with Drakenhoff Nightshade. Once that had dried I layered the armour with Altdorf Blue, then highlighted the edges of the armour with Calgar Blue. I then drybrushed the model with Etherium Blue, before giving it two glazes of Gulliman Blue.

I'll talk more about the different types of paints another time, but I did find Gulliman Blue excellent, it really draws together the different blues nicely.

With that done my model looked like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1570.jpg)

To be honest it didn't seem that much different to the first model.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1576.jpg)

So it was back to Games Workshop for Plan C. Again the same guy was in and we had another conversation about Ultramarines (to be honest I've had shorter relationships with people I've been actively dating). The decision was to swap out the darker base blues, and use lighter tones.

So Macragge Blue, Altdorf Blue and Calgar Blue were out, and in went Caledor Sky, Alaitoc Blu and Teclis Blue in their place, otherwise it was exactly the same technique. Which produced this result:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1579.jpg)

I should point out this was painted over a Macragge Blue basecoat with Drakenhoff Nightshade wash (I'd been stupid enough to do this to the whole squad), but to be honest Caledor Sky provided such a good coverage I wasn't too worried about mixing this with later models I hadn't undercoated with colours I didn't want!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1583.jpg)

Comparing this to the older model, above, I think I've nailed the blue. It has the same style and effect as the previous wash but it is a brighter, more what-I-believe-an-Ultramarine-should-be blue. I was also slightly softer on the Etherium Blue drybrush as I felt I maybe over did it in the first model. I admit in the photo above the difference is marginal, it's a bit less marginal in the flesh, but not huge. However the shade of blue was bugging me, and for an Ultramarine army you've got to get it right!

So touch wood, I think the blue is sorted, the Glaze does leave it with a rather glossy/wet finish but after a conversation with another member of Games Workshop staff – different store this time! I believe that a Matt varnish should cover this.

In another news the remainder of my colours arrived from Ol.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1592.jpg)

So I can start painting the detailing, don't worry I've learnt my lesson and will finish the test model first. This will also help see if the blue works in conjunction with the detailing, there's a danger I may have to change it and go for Plan D. I hope not!! Still not fully decided on the basing, though I may have a plan for colours – all to be revealed next week! Who knows we might see some non-blues.

89.3 – Organic Terrain

Mr Shakey Shakey has been my regular painting companion since back in 2006, during all this time I've painted Dwarfs, High Elves, Warriors of Chaos, Beastmen and High Elves again. And Mr Shakey Shakey has nearly finished a Wood Elf army, the one thing we however haven't done is play a battle! We've meant to, we've even planned to. But living quite far away, the fact Mr Shakey Shakey is luckier in love than me (well a genital wart is luckier in love than me), lethargy and that we were hoping to have fully painted armies meant it hadn't actually happened... until now.

It all started when Mr Shakey Shakey agreed to come to my Clapham manor house for our first game. Given he hadn't played with the 8th edition rules (or for that matter the 7th edition ones). Rather than playing a proper game we agreed to play a number of smaller battles using my High Elves and Beastmen so we could get used to the rules (the irony of me teaching someone to play Warhammer is not lost on me!). Armies weren't a problem, however terrain and battlefield were. I have been spoiled by the amazing selection of terrain and tables (they even come in purple) at OG Games. In fact some genius has even made a Shakeaway themed fountain, not sure who that was. Either way, my home battlefield wasn't so good.

I used to have the very old roll up Games Workshop battle mat, this was sort of a green flocked surface backed on what looked like brown paper. It was a bit of a nightmare to store and regularly shed its flocking. I stored it in my wardrobe and found at a wedding that it had flocked my left suit trouser leg, making it look to guests like I'd been smuggling Class B drugs in my trouser pockets. Annoyed with this I threw it away last time I moved house.

So instead I had no battlefield, unless you count the carpet. I was tempted to think about getting the Realm of Battlefield game board – but storage, painting and the £170 price tag are a bit of an issue! Instead I plumped for the smaller, cheaper and significantly smaller painting challenge of the Citadel Battlemat. It's only £20 and can be easily screwed up and stored, plus it doesn't malt everywhere!

With the playing surface sorted I rummaged in the very dusty box of terrain under the bed, and was able to throw together this battlefield:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1609.jpg)

There's my High Elf Monolith and Arcane Ruins which I've actually painted up, a pre-flocked hill with rocks on Games Workshop made a while back. I've added two self-flocked hills, with a receding hairline, and a selection of very old Citadel trees that fall over should a car pass in the street outside.

And whilst this will suffice for our purposes, this is hardly the most cluttered, amazing looking battlefield in the world. I think it's high time I thought about adding a few bits and pieces of terrain to my collection. In fairness I have the collection of pre-made bits Games Workshop did ages ago – Ruined Tower, Orc Village, Dwarf Mountain Stronghold and Graveyard. These are great, but I do feel it's a bit odd to have a huge selection of buildings on the same battlefield, certainly those of obviously different races. I could understand a selection of Empire buildings representing a town, or a number of Chaos Shrines representing a magical way point. But Dwarf, Empire, Orc, High Elf and Chaos buildings on the same mat seemed a bit much. What I could do with is some more generic terrain to help bulk that out – hills, rocks, rivers, roads and some decent trees!!

So with that decided I'm hoping you will see a selection of new terrain pieces gracing my battlefield over the next few months. Watch this space.

For those of interested in what happened in my battles with Mr Shakey Shakey. Well first I let him use the camera:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1596.jpg)

And then I took the camera and let him deploy the units:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1597.jpg)

But in the end we actually got some games in, and the terrain served us reasonably well:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1610.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1611.jpg)

In fact Mr Shakey Shakey returned the invite a few weeks later and we played at this with my Beastmen and his Wood Elves. Sadly the terrain wasn't even up to my standards:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1619.jpg)

Yep the battlemat is mine, the unpainted Citadel Wood is one I bought him for Christmas about three years ago, and the church is made from a box of cuppa soups and a tin of beans! There's work to do.

Still for those of you who doubted the existence of Mr Shakey Shakey, here's his Wood Elves, before they tabled my Beastmen:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1620.jpg)

Still don't believe me, well here's an arty picture of his right arm behind my Chariot:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1621.jpg)

That's all you're seeing, his identity must remain a closely guarded secret.

89.4 – Dreadfleet – Terrain Painting Guide

What with my recent spurts of interests in painting both Dreadfleet and Terrain, I decided to kill two birds with one stone, and paint the Dreadfleet Terrain. In fairness this had been sitting undercoated on my shelves for months and months as I kept thinking of better things to do. So I came up with a genius plan, the weekend I went to stay with Mr Shakey Shakey I only took this islands that way in our painting sessions that's all I could get distracted with (well that and pinning together Mr Shakey Shakey's Treekin).

Dreadfleet Terrain Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1612.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1614.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1613.jpg)

Rocks: Charadonite Granite
Sea: Regal Blue
Lava: Mechrite Red
Dwarf Wreck: Beastial Brown
Shipwrecks: Calthan Brown OR Codex Grey OR Steel Legion Drab OR 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Bone: Dheneb Stone
Temple: Dheneb Stone
Castle Walls: Chaos Black, then Drybrush Dark Angels Green
Castle Roof: Mechrite Red
Wrecked Sails: Mechrite Red OR Knarloc Green OR Liche Purple OR Moridan Blue OR Vomit Brown
Shipwreck Metal: Boltgun Metal OR Tin Bitz
Shipwreck Crow's Nest Roof: Fenris Grey


Dreadfleet Terrain Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1615.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1618.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1616.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1617.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre, then selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then wash lower recesses Tharka Green
Sea: Heavy Drybrush Enchanted Blue
Lava: Drybrush Blazing Orabge
Dwarf Wreck: Drybrush Blazing Orange
Shipwrecks: (Calthan Brown) wash Devlan Mud, (Codex Grey) wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/Devlan Mud, (Steel Legion Drab) drybrush Kommando Khaki, (1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red) wash Devlan Mud
Bone: Wash Devlan Mud
Temple: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Castle Walls: Drybrush Hawk Turquoise
Castle Roof: Layer Red Gore
Wrecked Sails: (Mechrite Red) wash Devlan Mud (Knarloc Green) wash Devlan Mud (Liche Purple) layer Warlock Purple (Moridan Blue) wash Devlan Mud (Vomit Brown) layer 1:1 Vomit Brown/Bleached Bone
Shipwreck Metal: (Boltgun Metal) wash Nuln Oil, (Tin Bitz) wash Devlan Mud
Shipwreck Crow's Nest Roof: Wash Nuln Oil


Dreadfleet Terrain Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1622.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1625.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1624.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1623.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Sea: Drybrush crests Ice Blue
Lava: Layered pools with Iyanden Darksun
Dwarf Wreck: Wash Devlan Mud
Shipwrecks: (Calthan Brown) Drybrush Graveyard Earth, then Drybrush Bleached Bone (Codex Grey) Drybrush Codex Grey, then Drybrush Fortress Grey, (Steel Legion Drab) drybrush Bleached Bone, (1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red) highlight Kommando Khaki
Bone: Layer Bleached Bone
Temple: Drybrush Skull White
Castle Walls: Lightly Drybrush crenulations Skull White
Castle Roof: Washed Badab Black
Wrecked Sails: (Mechrite Red) layer Red Gore (Knarloc Green) layer Camo Green (Liche Purple) wash Leviathan Purple (Moridan Blue) layer Moridan Blue (Vomit Brown) highlight Bleached Bone
Shipwreck Metal: (Boltgun Metal) highlight Chainmail, (Tin Bitz) highlight Chainmail
Shipwreck Crow's Nest Roof: Highlight Shadow Grey


Dreadfleet Terrain Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1218.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1222.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1226.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1230.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1236.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Sea: Wash 1:1 Tharka Green/Nuln Oil, then highlight wave crests lightly with watered down Skull White
Lava: Highlight pools watered down Skull White
Dwarf Wreck: Roughly Highlight Mithril Silver
Shipwrecks: DONE
Bone: Highlight Skull White, then wash flesh tatters 1:1 Ogyrn Flesh/Leviathan Purple
Temple: DONE
Castle Walls: DONE
Castle Roof: Highlight Mithril Silver
Wrecked Sails: (Mechrite Red) highlight Kommando Khaki (Knarloc Green) highlight 1:1 Camo Green/Skull White (Liche Purple) highlight Warlock Purple (Moridan Blue) highlight Space Wolves Grey (Vomit Brown) highlight Skull White
Shipwreck Metal: DONE
Shipwreck Crow's Nest Roof: DONE


89.5 – Temple of Skulls Painting Guide

I was really pleased with how well, and relatively quickly, the Dreadfleet Terrain had come out. In fact I was particularly pleased with how successful the castle had come out using a simple drybrushing technique – the castle walls drybrushed an unearthly green and the rocks standard greys. In fact I thought it looked so good, I decide to rush out and do a Temple of Skulls in the same style for my Warhammer battlefield. Ok admittedly it wasn't the rocks and forests I'd talked about, but it certainly has a rocky feel, plus it could be used with Arcane Ruins for an area of Chaos worship. But more importantly I actually felt inspired to do something terrain wise, so felt I should act whilst the mood took me.

This is exactly the same as for the castle and rocks above, with the exception that I'd pretty much exhausted my Charadonite Granite – certainly to the point where I wouldn't be able to do so large piece of terrain! So I swapped for the new Stormvermin Fur, which is an excellent match. Sadly it is a Layer colour (not a Base/Foundation) so I needed a couple of coats to get good coverage.

One further note, for storage reasons I didn't actually glue the two upright pillars to the bases, meaning that the Temple could go back in its original box or tuck under the bed a lot easier! They sit in place quite well so they shouldn't be too annoying during gameplay.

Temple of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1626.jpg)

Rocks: Stormvermin FurCharadonite Granite
Temple Skulls: Chaos Black, then Drybrush Dark Angels Green


Temple of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1627.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre, then selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green
Temple Skulls: Drybrush Hawk Turquoise


Temple of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1628.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Temple Skulls: Lightly Drybrush uppermost parts Skull White


Temple of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1440.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1437.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1447.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1449.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1456.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1458.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1461.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1467.jpg)

Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Temple Skulls: DONE


To finish off I added a little bit of flock to some of the rocky surfaces, don't make it completely random – only flock the horizontal surfaces, not the vertical ones! I took special care to flock the gaps in the broken temple floor stones, to make it look like grass was poking through the ruined structure.

I have to say it looks pretty decent, and even for me the slowest painter in the world (seriously stuff only gets done because I have no life!) it only took a few hours. Also the model pretty much comes assembled so even that's quick. I think I may even get myself some of the Citadel hills in the near future to add to my collection as I think they'd be easily swift to paint.

89.6 – Competition Results

The last couple of weeks have seen the exciting Guess the Weight of the High Elf Army Competition, where I've been asking you to guess how much my High Elf army is actually worth on the tabletop.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN567.jpg)

Well results are in, and Sandra has approved the final army list, in case anyone accuses me of cheating you can see that the army was constructed on the Northern line, so I had no opportunity to go online and check it against anyone's point values:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1632.jpg)

For those of you interested, here's the army I picked. Remember everything was selected on what-you-see-is-what-you-get basis. And I'd included a smattering of Lords and Heroes, even though the army wasn't going to be legal:

LORDS

Tyrion - 400 points
Teclis - 475 points
Alith Anar - 245 points
Prince armed with Star Lance, Armour of Caledor and Talisman of Saphery riding Moon Dragon - 550 points
Prince armed with lance, Ring of Fury and Armour of Heroes riding Griffon - 426 points
Archmage with Folraith's Robe and Annulian Crystal - 310 points

Lords Total: 2,406 points

HEROES

Caradryan - 175 points
Korhil - 140 points
Battle Standard Bearer armed with Great Weapon, Dragon Armour and Longbow. Bearing Battle Banner - 214 points
Noble armed with Reaver Bow and Dragon Armour - 131 points
Noble armed with Blade of Sea Gold, Dragon Armour and shield - 133 points
Mage with Level 2 Upgrade with Guardian Phoenix and Dispel Magic Scroll riding Barded Elven Steed - 201 points
Mage with Level 2 Upgrade with Silver Wand - 145 points
Mage with Sacred Incense – 130 points
Mage with Jewel of Dusk – 115 points
Dragon Mage with Level 2 Upgrade and The Gem of Sunfire – 410 points

Heroes Total: 1,794 points

CORE

20x Archers, with Hawkeye, Musician and Standard Bearer - 245 points
20x Archers, with Hawkeye, Musician and Standard Bearer - 245 points
50x Spearmen, with Sentinel, Musician and Standard Bearer bearing Banner of Arcane Protection - 500 points
35x Spearmen, with Sentinel, Musician and Standard Bearer - 340 points
30x Lothern Sea Guard, with shields, Sea Master, Musician and Standard Bearer - 415 points

Total Core: 1,745 points

SPECIAL:

24x Swordmasters of Hoeth, with Bladelord, Musician and Standard Bearer bearing Lion Standard - 415 points
20x Phoenix Guard, with Keeper of the Flame, bearing Foe Bane, Musician and Standard Bearer bearing Banner of Sorcery - 405 points
20x White Lions, with Guardian, Musician and Standard Bearer - 330 points
12x Silver Helms with shields, High Helm, Musician and Standard Bearer - 324 points
10x Dragon Princes with Drakemaster, bearing Dragon Horn, Musician and Standard Bearer bearing Standard of Balance - 420 points
5x Dragon Princes with Drakemaster, Musician and Standard Bearer with Banner of Ellyrion - 215 points
5x Ellyrian Reavers with bows, Harbinger, Musician and Standard Bearer - 133 points
5x Ellyrian Reavers with bows, Harbinger, Musician and Standard Bearer - 133 points
6x Shadow Warriors with Shadow-walker - 108 points
Tiranoc Chariot - 85 points
Tiranoc Chariot - 85 points
White Lion Chariot - 140 points
White Lion Chariot - 140 points

Total Special: 2,933 points

RARE:

Repeater Bolt Thrower - 100 points
Repeater Bolt Thrower - 100 points
Great Eagle - 50 points
Great Eagle - 50 points

Total Rare: 300 points

MAGIC & MONSTERS:

6x War Lions – 96 points

Total Magic & Monsters: 96 points


So you can see the final total, as revealed by Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1608.jpg)

9,274 points

Which breaks down as:

LORDS: 26.2%
HEROES: 19.5%
CORE: 19.0%
SPECIAL: 32.0%
RARE: 3.3%
MAGIC & MONSTERS: Additional 1.0%

Comparing that to the results reveals that the winner is:

Blotthrower – 6,994 points (2,280 under)
Craig M – 9,001 points (273 under)
DarkStalker – 8,990 points (284 under)
Dave – 9,364 points (90 over)
Fatolaf – 8,998 points (276 under)
Meals – 8,476 points (798 under)
Roland Murat – 8,000 points (1,274 under)
Steve H – 7,845 points (1,429 under)
TkaiC – 8,787 points (577 under)

Some excellent guesses there in the first place, but the winner is clearly Dave!

Congratulations Dave, you win a drawing of an army of your choice courtesy of our resident six-year old artist so please post on this thread what your choice is.

For those of you interested, I explored a couple of army selections with the High Elves and found maxing out all the magic items gives me a total army size of 10,247 points. Sadly due to the small number of units in the High Elf Core section, and my large collection of expensive characters I can't actually select a legal army using every one of my models. Guess I need a couple more hundred Spearmen?

89.7 – Get In Touch

Of course this blog isn't just about me and the team prattling away, we need your input to:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where after last week's White Dwarf fun, this week I've managed to get a retweet from another member of the White Dwarf team.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1631.png)

In fact my amusing comment to Ol: "As the old Chinese proverb says 'Never judge a model by it's poorly photographed leaked White Dwarf photo'." managed to get an amazing 10 retweets – slowly but surely becoming a Twitter celebrity. Annoyingly I added a rogue apostrophe in "its" during my moment of fame. My mother would strongly disapprove.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 05, 2012, 09:59:48 am
1. You're amazing
2. They're blue, sounds like ultramarines to me!
3. Army - I considered skaven so would get my money's worth with 300 odd rats but decided that was cruel. Instead I'll go for some nightmare inducing undead in the form of tomb kings. Lets see those big monsters!
4. The garden of morr kit is awesome value and gives loads of bits to play with.

Thankee, top notch stuff but still dubious about the existence of mr shakey shakey. Plays with awfully Matt like lists with 2x big glade rider units and unformed skirmishers!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Toast on November 05, 2012, 10:20:28 pm
Wow.  That high elf army is amazing.  Gives you that (brief) moment of insanity when you think, yeah, why don't I have a fully painted army pushing 10,000 points?  Everyone should have one!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 06, 2012, 10:38:15 am
Quote from: Dave on November 05, 2012, 09:59:48 am
1. You're amazing
2. They're blue, sounds like ultramarines to me!
3. Army - I considered skaven so would get my money's worth with 300 odd rats but decided that was cruel. Instead I'll go for some nightmare inducing undead in the form of tomb kings. Lets see those big monsters!
4. The garden of morr kit is awesome value and gives loads of bits to play with.

1: Thanks
2: You have synesthesia
3: I will lay down a tray of Rolos and hopefully it will happen.
4: I do like that kit, but I worry it will take ages to paint, plus I do have the old fully painted/flocked Graveyard GW did years ago. But it is tempting, think Dreadstone Blight might be my first choice though.

Quote from: Dave on November 05, 2012, 09:59:48 am
Thankee, top notch stuff but still dubious about the existence of mr shakey shakey. Plays with awfully Matt like lists with 2x big glade rider units and unformed skirmishers!

Are you accusing me of writing anything but the truth?

Quote from: Toast on November 05, 2012, 10:20:28 pm
Wow.  That high elf army is amazing.  Gives you that (brief) moment of insanity when you think, yeah, why don't I have a fully painted army pushing 10,000 points?  Everyone should have one!

Cheers. Problem with a 10,000 point army is you soon realise no one else has a 10,000 point army to play against you, plus it's a pain in the behind to transport anywhere!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on November 06, 2012, 11:21:30 am
Dreadstone blight lovely model, warning however, the mould lines are horrific , be warned
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 07, 2012, 09:23:08 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on November 06, 2012, 11:21:30 am
Dreadstone blight lovely model, warning however, the mould lines are horrific , be warned

Oh bugger. Have to take it off my Christmas list now!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 14, 2012, 10:15:38 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 90 – Gun Muzzles and Bullet Holes Wednesday 14th November 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

90.1 – Meet the Team

They've still not been locked up for crimes against the Warhammer community, here's the Procrastination by Numbers team.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has again been pissing about with blue paints, his hands look like they could perform in the Blue Man group.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has had trouble drawing a Tomb Kings army for the winning prize of The Guess the Weight of the High Elf army. In fact the request to draw a mummy resulted in a horrible retaliation against her indoctrination.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey resigned from his role as Mitt Romeny's campaign manager – turns out he wasn't a safe pair of hands!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant was named in a Newsnight investigation into seedling abuse at Kew Gardens. As a precautionary measure she's been separated from the Resident Six Year Old Artist, and will strangle Philip Schofield with a vine if her name goes anywhere near one of his cards.

90.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 24

The Tale of OG Gamers continues to rumble on, other people's blogs have finished models on. Here you will find a barren wasteland without a single finished model on. Oh well we press on.

Last week I finalised my blue colour scheme, and the good news is I haven't changed my mind since then! Horray!!

Here's where we got to:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1579.jpg)

Which was achieved with the following paints: Caledor Sky was used as a base, before washing with Drakenhof Nightshade. Once this was dry I layered the armour with Alaitoc Blue, then highlighted with Teclis Blue. Finally I gave the raised areas a light drybrush of Etherium Blue and then a couple of layers of Gulliman Blue glaze finished the effect.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1644.jpg)

Admittedly this is quite a complex procedure for just a standard trooper, but as this was the majority of the model I felt it was worth the effort.

The next test was of course how the blue looked when I combined it with other colours, so using the Ultramarine Painting Guide:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1255.jpg)

I painted up the Gold Trim, Boltgun, Metal Vents, Eye Lenses, Purity Seal (and Parchment), White Arrow and the Crux Terminatus (I don't know if that's what it is called on a standard Marine, but I used the bit for Terminators listed as Crux Terminatus – answers on postcard if you do know!!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1651.jpg)

I'll talk more about the colours used at a later date, but pleasingly unlike the blue I was happy with the result on each so didn't need to tinker with the scheme!! The other good news is I'm really pleased with how the colours work with the blue – yes no more changing of blue colour schemes.

This just leaves a few bits to do to finish this test model, the grenade – which I've decided to paint silver metal like on the Boltgun. I'd initially considered going for red as another bright colour, however this does a feel a bit Ultramarine circa 1997, so I went against it – I'll save red for some of the characters and more important units. The other bits were the leather pouches – which weren't in the Ultramarine guide, but they are featured in the How To Paint Citadel Miniatures Book

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1633.jpg)

Under the Aurora Chapter guide (why they couldn't have done Ultramarines in that book and save me buying the app I don't know?!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1638.jpg)


So more colours I need to purchase, I'll add them to the colours I need for the base (and the flesh colours for the sergeant who annoying has his helmet off – stupid reckless prick) – which I'm not totally sure on – ahhh decisions I hate them, I can't even decide how to finish this sentence. I was going for a joke, but I don't think it's going to work. Or maybe I should?!

So all I have to do in the remaining 11 days of the "first month period" (woman's things) is decide on the basing colours, paint the grenade and leather pouch add transfers and varnish the model. Oh and then replicate that across another 11 models! You're right I don't even know what I'm moaning about.

Fortunately the scheme paints over the foolish base coat and wash I did on the other models that then went wrong. Not sure if the model I fully painted and glazed using a different blue will be that lucky. Do I need to strip him down? How do I even do that? Answers on a postcard. How many postcards do you have?!

I appreciate the picture below...., here again, because... well... why not?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1651.jpg)

As I was saying this picture possibly isn't the best example, so I took the model along to OG Games (premier gaming spot in the world), to show some people. Thankfully it being winter and the appalling lighting in the games' room meant that everyone thought it was good. Hahaha fooled them! Ol even suggested I show it to "Space Marine Master Painter" Seb of Blood Angels fame – who liked it, except apparently I shouldn't be painting Ultramarines – racist! No it's not that apparently their background isn't good. Meh I like blue I'm going for it!

Now seems like a good time to go on an aside about gun muzzles on my Ultramarines. This is in fact the perfect time to talk about this, and absolutely not because I forgot to mention in it a previous blog.

I haven't done this with Warhammer though there aren't so many guns, but I have drilled muzzles into the Ultramarines, which actually is a lot simpler than I thought. For the Tactical Squad the boltguns were separate so easily fitted in a vice:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1653.jpg)

And then I bored holes in with the Pin Drill:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1654.jpg)

Easy, sadly I hadn't been so lucky with the Terminators and had already glued their guns on sigh! So it was a bit more tricky but I bored two holes in their double-bolters (that may not be exactly what they are called). So as you've all suspected I've been very boring, very boring get it? Oh sod you then, I'll head back to painting.

90.3 – Competition Results

Last week saw the gripping conclusion to the epic blockbuster Guess the Weight of the High Elf Army Competition, where we saw Dave win the prize of a picture painted by the Resident Six Year Old Artist, he chose a Tomb Kings army. And here's the picture...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1641.jpg)

...in fairness I've seen worse painted Undead. Hope you approve Dave!

90.4  – Get In Touch

That's it for today, apologies it's a bit of a short update (you lot probably prefer it that way, less to skim and pretend you've read it), but this weekend is Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do and as he has no friends other than me so I'm, by process of elimination, the Best Man. Problem is Mr Shakey Shakey can't hold his drink, not because he's a lightweight, it's his shakey hands which throws the liquid all over the floor.

Anyway if you want to get in touch and fill up the pages of the blog, please do here's some topics you could help with – or just pick your own:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where after the last two week's Twitter excitement I've failed to capitalise on my celebrity status and have said nothing of note. But don't let that put you off following me, I may tweet something amazing at any time, you cannot be sure!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Not only do I approve the TK pic I think it has some genuine artistic talent, the Carrion in particular tickled my fancy.  I was slightly confused by the mummy guy with the crown and then I realised it was a Tomb King, having never used one myself I somewhat forgot about them...

Ultramarine, looks pretty decent, I like the scratched up bronze on the trims in particular gives a nice battleworn feel.

As to stripping your marines I'd say don't bother, just paint over it, unlikely to be so thick that it really hides any details and blue on blue shouldn't struggle to badly to get a decent coverage whilst keeping it thin.

Drilling out bolters is dull, but ultimately it's usually worth the effort, looks so much better.  Other option I've seen is getting some think & hollow plastic tubing and cutting off the front of the barrels and replacing with the tubing for 'pre bored' muzzles.

Do you have any spare space marine heads?  If so you might consider chopping the sarge's head off and replacing it with a helmet to improve his safety!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 15, 2012, 01:29:57 pm
Quote from: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Not only do I approve the TK pic I think it has some genuine artistic talent, the Carrion in particular tickled my fancy.  I was slightly confused by the mummy guy with the crown and then I realised it was a Tomb King, having never used one myself I somewhat forgot about them...

Thanks I..., I mean the Six Year Old Artist, is very pleased to hear you liked the Carrion - she spent a lot of time on it.

Quote from: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Ultramarine, looks pretty decent, I like the scratched up bronze on the trims in particular gives a nice battleworn feel.

That was actually supposed to be highlighting, trying not to go for a battle-worn effect. Awkward!  :thumbsup:

Quote from: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
As to stripping your marines I'd say don't bother, just paint over it, unlikely to be so thick that it really hides any details and blue on blue shouldn't struggle to badly to get a decent coverage whilst keeping it thin.

That is the right answer - fantastic!!

Quote from: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Drilling out bolters is dull, but ultimately it's usually worth the effort, looks so much better.  Other option I've seen is getting some think & hollow plastic tubing and cutting off the front of the barrels and replacing with the tubing for 'pre bored' muzzles.

To be honest that seems more effort than the drilling, I guess the trick is to remember to do it prior to gluing the model together!  :bash;m:

Quote from: Dave on November 15, 2012, 12:04:21 pm
Do you have any spare space marine heads?  If so you might consider chopping the sarge's head off and replacing it with a helmet to improve his safety!

Sadly as I only have the Assault on Black Reach kit I have no spare bits, to be honest I can see why for a modelling point of view it works, it's just a health and safety nightmare!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 06:13:51 pm
I like the scheme, and I think painting over the other models should be fine rather than stripping them.

And, model related rather than painting - The sling on the gun looks odd to me, I wonder why Mr Marine hasn't got it round at least one shoulder.

Finally, I'll raise your 11 further models with 9 further models, 2 jetbikes and a flying space boat to paint before the end of the month! Stupid DE and their cheap(er than marines) points cost.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 15, 2012, 08:55:02 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 06:13:51 pm
I like the scheme, and I think painting over the other models should be fine rather than stripping them.

Thanks I am glad this is the consensus I cannot face stripping again!

Quote from: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 06:13:51 pm
And, model related rather than painting - The sling on the gun looks odd to me, I wonder why Mr Marine hasn't got it round at least one shoulder.

I know what you mean, I'm going to paint it a leather colour which hopefully will make it look less odd. I'm guessing that modelling a strap round a shoulder would be awkward to make it snap fit - though if it's anything like my luggage the strap has probably slipped of his shoulder for the upteenth time and he's just sworn in that helmet.

Quote from: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 06:13:51 pm
Finally, I'll raise your 11 further models with 9 further models, 2 jetbikes and a flying space boat to paint before the end of the month! Stupid DE and their cheap(er than marines) points cost.

Why do you think I didn't paint the Orks from The Assault on Black Reach box?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 09:07:19 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 15, 2012, 08:55:02 pm
the strap has probably slipped of his shoulder for the upteenth time and he's just sworn in that helmet.

Whilst searching his pockets desperately for his passport before remembering power armour doesn't have pockets.  Space Marines on holiday...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 15, 2012, 09:14:05 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on November 15, 2012, 09:07:19 pm
Whilst searching his pockets desperately for his passport before remembering power armour doesn't have pockets.  Space Marines on holiday...

He's going to have had an awful time at the metal detector!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 15, 2012, 11:17:18 pm
I can have a look for a spare SM head if you want Matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 15, 2012, 11:58:00 pm
Quote from: roland murat on November 15, 2012, 11:17:18 pm
I can have a look for a spare SM head if you want Matt

Cheers that's very kind - but in fairness I think I'm moaning for the sake of moaning and will paint his fleshy head!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 16, 2012, 08:56:43 am
No worries
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2012, 08:51:52 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 91 – A Litany of Apologies Thursday 29th November 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

91.1 – Meet the Team

Banned from the Santa's Grotto in Reading Town Centre for crimes against people with beards, it's the guys who make up the Procrastination by Numbers team:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been coming up with a series of excuses for not doing anything, however he's even managed to put that off. Hence he now needs a series of excuses for putting off making up a series of excuses.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been writing her Dear Santa letter, top of her wish list is "Freedom", closely followed by a new jumbo orange felt tip pen.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has been recovering from his Stag Do, organised by Matty the Painter. Ironically Mr Shakey Shakey's hands seem to be steadier under the influence of alchohol!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has already mastered The Hobbit Strategy Board Game three days before it's actually released. Her Goblin King is currently terrorising The Resident Six-Year Old Artist.

91.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 1, Day 38 oops!

The title of this section probably says it all, but suffice us to say I haven't yet completed month one's Ultramarines. Here's a multiple choice style selection of potential excuses which I'll let you rank in order of importance.

A)   I've been organising Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do, planning various overly complicated scenarios which result in drinking, whereas actually everyone would be happy just drinking.
B)   I've been attending Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do partaking in various overly complicated scenarios which resulted in drinking, whereas actually everyone would have been happy just drinking.
C)   I've been recovering from Mr Shakey Shakey's stag do partaking in various overly complicated scenarios where the last thing I want to do is drink.
D)   I've been working on a top secret project, that you all probably know about which starts in December. More later. But it took a lot of work.
E)   I've been queuing in the Post Office.
F)   My bottom was itchy.
G)   There was something good on telly.
H)   I've been busy engaged in some low-medium level Facebook stalking.
I)   I desperately needed to alphabetise my CD collection.
J)   I needed a wee.

There you go, I hope one of those will do you. Incidentally the above reasons also cover me having not done any blogging last week. Apologies again.

Currently the situation is shown here:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1656.jpg)

A variety of blue things on a desk with lots of paints and the odd bit of Beastmen cluttering the table. I promise I will do better probably. Maybe. Terms and conditions of course apply.

91.3 – The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord, Part 5

Beastmen fans do not despair, I haven't forgotten about Rashnrak the Beastlord and his rampages across the Badlands. You probably have, but I haven't! In the unlikely event you want to find out how they've got on so far check out Updates 79, 80, 84 and 87 – you won't but as I've gone to the effort of listing the updates that's now become your laziness not mine. I hope you can sleep at night.

This week we fought Month 5, technically that's a lie, we fought Month 6, but I've fallen behind in my reporting duties. Feel free to pick one of the excuses from above to cover that!

In case you've forgotten we're using the Mighty Empires set to represent the Badlands. Shown artistically here:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1660.jpg)

My movement around the board this month was largely uneventful, though annoyingly my mine collapsed and JD invaded my territory with his Lizardmen. Scum!

An Ungor scampered across the clearing towards Rashnrak, if his beady red eyes could show emotion they'd show fear, knowing the news he'd have to impart. In an unintelligible roar, with the slightest hint of wimper, he communicated to Rashnrak the news that the Beastmen's mine had collapsed. A murderous rage glowed in Rashnrak's face before he ripped off the Ungor's head and tossed it aside, defecating on the remnants of the Ungor's shattered frame. The news was all Rashnrak needed, he cursed the stupid Ungor their appalling construction was almost certainly to blame. It didn't take much for Rashnrak to get annoyed at the Ungor. The mine would limit the Ungor's ability to construct chariots and weapons for the tribe and with the recent assault by the scaly ones, he would need all the weapons he could get. Rashnrak's lungs inflated before he let out a deep guttural roar that carried through the treetops. It was a message to Delithor the Great Bray-Shaman. He must not fail in his bid to banish the primeval ones.

The Ungor Raiders moved through the undergrowth tracking their pray, it wasn't hard the massive tracks of three Stegadons could hardly be disguised. They were grateful to be here, it was well known that Delithor was far more tolerant of the Ungor presence than the tribal lord. Soon they came upon the lizards; they'd already passed the herdstone covered in excrement. A clear violation of Beastmen territory. The Ungor knew the plan they would attack from the North while the main army would attack from the East, or was it that they would attack from the East while the main army would attack from the North? Ambushes were always tricky business. All the Ungor knew was that the tribe would have crocodile skin toilet paper for months to come.


So I was to fight the Lizardmen with Delithor's army who fought back in Month 4. Now I'd like to say I came up with a really cunning army list based upon my deep analysis of the strengths and weaknesses of the respective armies. But I was a bit pressed for time and so I just took the army I had packed from last time. See excuses above. Sorry. So here's what we had:

Great Bray-Shaman, Delithor (Lore of Beasts, Level 4) – armed with the Brass Cleaver (+1 Attack for each enemy in base-to-base contact taken as free magic item), the Talisman of Preservation (4+ Ward Save), Hagtree Fetish (nominate one enemy unit within 24" each magic phase, all failed rolls to wound may be rerolled in that phase), Crown of Command (stubborn), Chaos gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Armour Save). 350 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The War Banner (+1 Combat Resolution). 153 points
Bray Shaman, (Lore of Shadows, Level 2) – armed with extra hand weapon, Dispel Scroll, Other Trickster's Shard (all models in base-to-base reroll successful ward saves). 152 points

20 Ungor with spears, shields and full command. 135 points

16 Ungor with shields and full command. 95 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

10 Ungor Raiders with short bows, musician and Halfhorn. 69 points

3 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 240 points

17 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full command and the Banner of Outrage (unit always passes it's Primal Fury tests). 254 points

20 Bestigors armed with Great Weapons and Heavy Armour with full. 270 points

3 Razorgors. 165 points

6 Harpies, with scouting ability. 84 points

Chaos Spawn. 55 points

TOTAL: 2,100 points

The plan, which worked reasonably well against the Dwarfs, would remain the same use the large amount of chaff to divide the Beastmen army, and then pounce on it with my hard core units. What could possibly go wrong, I thought as JD deployed 3 Stegadons on the table.

Deployment

The Beastmen deployed with the two Bestigor units either side of the centre. Ungor on the far left and Spawn, Razorgor and Tuskgor Chariots to support them. One unit of Ungors and a unit of Raiders went into Ambush and the Harpies scouted ahead of the army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1661.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1662.jpg)

The Lizardmen army consisted of three Stegadons, an Old Blood on Carnosaur, a large block of Saurses, three blocks of Skinks one with a mage and a cheeky Salamander. And with that battle commenced...

Turn 1

The Lizardmen began their advance heading towards the Beastmen lines, the Skink Shaman attempted to cast Urannion's Thunderbolt but Delithor easily ground the magic. All 3 Stegadons loosed their mighty bolts at the nearest Tuskgor Chariot but they all fell wide of target.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1663.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1664.jpg)

Both of the Ungor units arrived on opposite flanks and headed towards the Lizardmen flanks, the Harpies joined the Raiders to threaten the Salamander.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1666.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1667.jpg)

The rest of the Beastmen army advanced supporting one another. Delithor couldn't take advantage of his magical dominance unable to cast any spells.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1665.jpg)

Turn 2

The Lizardmen halt their advance, not willing to fall into the Beastmen trap. Though one unit of Skinks occupies the large tower. Delithor again stops Urannion's Thunderbolt, but one of the Tuskgor Chariots is engulfed by an Iceshard Blizzard. The shooting phase provides some action as the Stegadon's Bolt Throwers rip apart the Chaos Spawn providing the mutated beast some final peace. Between the three units of Skinks they take down 8 Ungor across the units. Meanwhile the Salamander turns on the Harpies engulfing them in flame, two of the beasts die and they flee.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1669.jpg)

Worried they will meet the same fate as the Harpies, the Ungor Raiders charge into the Salamander.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1668.jpg)

Otherwise the Harpies continue to flee and the Beastmen units move to set up their favourable charges. The Ungor units working to threaten the Saurses block.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1670.jpg)

The Winds of Magic drop to a poultry two dice, Delithor reinforces the Bestigor in case the Stegadons charge, rolling an 11. With only one dispel dice the Skink Shaman is powerless to stop it.

In combat neither the Salamander nor Ungor wound, but with the bonuses for flank charging the Salamander flees and is run down by the Ungor!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1672.jpg)

Turn 3

Both the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen flee the Saruses hoping to leave them vulnerable to the Bestigor and Ungor next turn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1671.jpg)

One of the Stegadon charges a Razorgor who flees in terror, the Stegadon redirects at another Razorgor who also flees.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1673.jpg)

The Carnosaur charges one of the Tuskgor Chariots. Meanwhile the Skinks move to block the Bestigor charge on the Saurses, though the Mage bails the unit!

In the magic phase the Mage finally cast Urannion's Thunderbolt with Irresistible Force zapping 5 Bestigor dead. The Stegadons again miss the Tuskgor Chariot with their Bolt Throwers. However the Skinks do better one block kills three Ungor Raiders who panic and flee the table, avenging the Salamander. Meanwhile the other two blocks unleash their volleys on the Bestigor felling an impressive 7. Leaving a much reduced Bestigor unit now unable to charge the Saurus.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1674.jpg)

The Old Blood does two wounds on the Tuskgor Chariot, in return the Tuskgors manage a single wound on the Carnosaur. Enraged it shatters the Chariot frame.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1675.jpg)

The Bestigor charge the Skinks who blocked them, who flee, but an impressive roll of 11 for the Bestigor means the Skinks are run down and the Bestigor move way out of the charge arc of the Saurus. One of the remaining Tuskgor Chariots charges the other Skinks who also flee, but another high charge roll of 12 sees them also run down. The remaining Ungor units charge the flank of the Saurus in the off chance they can have a lucky combat phase.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1677.jpg)

Meanwhile the second Bestigor block and the one Tuskgor who was not fleeing charge the Stegadon who moved out of position last turn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1676.jpg)

In an impressive set of rolls the Harpies, both the Razorgor, the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen rally.

Delithor throws all his magic dice on to recast Wyssan's Wildform on his own unit now that it was toe-to-toe with a Stegadon!!

In combat the Ungor do as expected only killing 2 Saurus in return for 8 wounds, they both flee but the Saurus restrain. Delithor and the Razorgor both manage a wound on the Stegadon before the Bestigor finish him off. However the Razorgor's position blocks the Bestigor from overrunning out of the path of the remaining Stegadons, so they reform to face them.

Turn 4

The two Stegadons plough into the Bestigor, the Carnosaur unable to charge this turn moves up to threaten their flank.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1679.jpg)

Whilst the Tuskgor Chariot and Ungor Spearmen again flee the Saurus block.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1678.jpg)

Delithor again thwarts the Skink Shaman's casting attempts. The remaining Skinks shoot down five of the fleeing Ungor.

In combat five Bestigor are smashed down by the Stegadons charge, the Bestigor fail both the fear and primal fury tests. Whilst the Bestigor do inflict two wounds, the sheer number of casualties are too much and they flee escaping it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1680.jpg)

The Ungor Raiders flee the table, but both Ungor units, the Tuskgor Chariot and the Bestigor unit rally. With the remaining Beastmen moving out of the Lizardmen charge arcs. In the magic phase Delithor miscasts Amber Spear wounding one of the remaining Stegadons, though a Bestigor is killed in the resultant explosion.

Turn 5

The Stegadons charge Delithor and the recent rallied Bestigor who flee again.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1681.jpg)

The Razorgor flees the Carnosaur, and for the third time the Tuskgor Chariot and the Ungor Spearmen flee the Saruses.

In the magic phase the Skink Mage wounds itself casting Ice Shard Blizzard with Irresistible Force, it then miscasts again as Urannion's Thunderbolt strikes down two Bestigor the Skink forgets all of his spells.

The Skinks shoot down three remaining Ungor.

The Razorgors try to charge the Carnosaur on mass but they all fail their Terror test. Again the Ungor Spearmen, Tuskgor Chariot and Bestigor rally.

Delithor's apprentice casts Pit of Shades on the Stegadons who are positioned very close together.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1682.jpg)

One of the Stegadon's athletically jumps clear, the other plunges down the pit.

Turn 6

In the final turn the Tuskgor Chariot flees the Carnosaur, as does the Razorgor. The other long charges by the Lizardmen fail. The Skinks opening fire on the remaining six Ungor, killing five, but the Champion stubbornly refuses to panic denying the Lizardmen the victory points.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1683.jpg)

In the final turn all the Beastmen units rally bar the Tuskgor Chariot which finally flees the board. In the magic phase the Lizardmen successfully dispel the attempt to cast Pit of Shades on the remaining Stegadon. With no combat the game ends.

Conclusion

All that remained was to total up the victory points, the Lizardmen scored 403, whereas the Beastmen scored 685! YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I obviously took my first victory with the Beastmen calmly and in a professional manner.

In fairness I felt a bit bad, as for a large part of the battle I avoided JD's Lizardmen, but with most of their chaff destroyed, and my Bestigor units depleted there just weren't any battles I stood even a vague chance of winning. So discretion proved the better part of valour. In fairness I was very lucky as my Beastmen managed to make an inordinate large number of successfully rallies and I was lucky to lose so few off the table edge.

Rashnrak waited impatiently in the camp for news, the Ungor were nowhere to be seen, wary off the fate of the last messenger. His body was currently being devoured by a ravenous Minotaur. After what seemed like an eternity Delithor strode into the camp surrounded by his Ungor. Rashnrak barked a warning at them and they scattered, expecting bad news. "What are you doing?" roared Delithor, Rashnrak knew better than to confront one of the sacred Shamans, "these are the victors of Lizard Gorge.". "What?!" replied Rashnrak. "The Lizardmen are gone, they will not threaten us again. We won." Hissed Delithor. Rashnrak was confused, it sounded like the Beastmen had been victorious, but it had been so very long since he'd heard this words he couldn't be sure. Whatever this feeling was it felt deeply unfamiliar, in fact it was making him uncomfortable. All he knew was he had an urge to mark some territory and for some reason there seemed to be lots of scaly loo roll around.

As I said Month 6 is still to be written up (see excuses, Section 91.2), but I promise(ish) to get it written up for next week, probably. Actually I tell you what I promise to get it written up for Update 92, that's better. They'll never suspect that I simply won't write Update 92 if I haven't written the battle up. Bugger I wasn't supposed to write down that last sentence.

91.4  – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Coming Soon

I had tried to keep it a secret, but as all of you already suspect many know and only newbies aren't aware of. I can excitingly confirm that Saturday will see the start of the 3rd (yes third!!! Seriously have I not tired yet?) annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Everyday across the Advent Calendar I'll be delving into the archive to find a Warhammer Special Character that has either drifted out of the Army Books over time, is without model or appeared someone very strange.

Here's the level of research that went into it:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1655.jpg)

In case that's just not enough, I've updated last year's Advent Calendar and given it a shuffle, so you'll also get to see all last year's characters again with a note on how they fared over the last 12 months!!

Make sure you're back here on Saturday!! And make sure you tweet it #warhammeradvent global trending and world domination could be within our grasp!

91.5  – Get In Touch

That's it for this week, but hopefully you've enjoyed this truncated blog and aren't too annoyed with my lack of Ultramarine painting. I would be very much grateful if you could join us on Saturday for the first day of the Advent Calendar, remember #warhammeradvent – we could do with more Twitter followers/some Twitter followers!

I'd very much love your thoughts on all, some or none of the below topics:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where I've been tweeting more pictures of my bedroom floor, how can you resist?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 29, 2012, 12:28:11 pm
Ooooooh advent calendar. Does the excitiment never end - apparently not.

On a more sensible note - I am actually looking forward to it.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2012, 01:43:58 pm
Quote from: roland murat on November 29, 2012, 12:28:11 pm
Ooooooh advent calendar. Does the excitiment never end - apparently not.

On a more sensible note - I am actually looking forward to it.

There literally is no end to the excitement I can generate... literally none.................

Glad you are looking forward to it, some real obscure guys this year alongside some classics!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 30, 2012, 02:10:08 pm
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)


Starts tomorrow...

:thumbsup:

Title: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on November 30, 2012, 02:16:56 pm
I literally can't wait to receive my copy in the post! :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 30, 2012, 02:20:41 pm
Quote from: Steve H on November 30, 2012, 02:16:56 pm
I literally can't wait to receive my copy in the post! :)

If you sign up to the £10 month Direct Debit subscription scheme, you'll get a free limited edition drawing from the Resident Six-Year Old Artist sent to.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 01, 2012, 09:53:03 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 1st December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Yes it's back!! It's the run up to Christmas which can only mean one thing, well actually it means lots, but surely the most exciting of these is the return of the Procrastination by Numbers – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Yes I've managed to eek this feature out for a third year!!

For virgin readers here's how it works, every day between now and the big family bust up, there'll be a brand new forgotten special character concealed in the spoiler on this very blog for you to reminisce over. A forgotten special character is a named character (with their own special rules) that either no longer has a current set of rules, or has rules but no models. So across the next 24 days you'll see a range of classic special characters from years gone by, modern characters missing a model, all the way through to odd characters from White Dwarfs you never knew you never knew.

So without further ado here's today's Special Character:

[spoiler]
1st December: Durthu, the Treeman

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV186.jpg)

Name: Durthu, the Treeman

Original Points Cost: 360 points – 4th Edition, 450 points – 6th Edition

Background: Durthu the Treeman literally has no background! He is described as a Treeman who wanders Athel Loren roused to action when invaders arrive. In other words a Treeman.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 197 (May 1996).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV192.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV189.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 310 (October 2005), Durthu is given as a special character in a three part scenario entitled "Return of the Lichemaster".

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV202.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV205.jpg)

Special Rules: Durthu is surrounded by a Swarm of Sprites they inflict D6 S3 hits and can be used in the shooting phase (12" range) or close combat phase. In addition he has the Treeman special rules, causes Fear, 4+ armour save, flammable, hates Orcs, Goblins and Dwarfs, can move in Woods without penalty and will fall over if killed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV197.jpg)

In the White Dwarf update his special rules grew incorporating all the current Treeman rules plus a 3+ armour save (that reduces enemy armour modifier by 1), his Sprites now steal magic items as well as their missile and combat attacks and he can swap all his attacks for a single Strength 10 attack doing D6 wounds.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV207.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I do remember this character, but only just I didn't really know any Wood Elf players at the time.

Person most Reminds me of: Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot, she hopes to become a Treeman when she grows up.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Given the Wood Elf army book hasn't been updated since the rules for Durthu were published in White Dwarf 311 the rules translate across perfectly, though good luck remembering them all in the heat of battle! Model wise you could use the standard Treeman, and as Games Workshop seem to have done stick a chopped up scouring pad to him!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV210.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Make sure you head back tomorrow for another special character, and if you just can't wait until then the exciting news is that I have compiled a classic calendar from some of the previous entrants you can check out right now!!:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49563;topicseen#msg49563 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49563;topicseen#msg49563)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on December 01, 2012, 12:48:10 pm
Hey, I own one of these guys...  -the one at the top with his hand in the air. He's earmarked as the treeman for my, currently partially assembled, wood elf bloodbowl team

-Now if only I'd managed a little more painting during 2012 I might have been able to post a picture...

(I think I'll skip the scouring pad customisations when I come to do him tho -and as a 6 piece metal model he'll take some pinning)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 02, 2012, 07:19:37 am
I think he looks like a baskeball player who's going for a dunk.

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/Wood%20Elfs/9115251d.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 02, 2012, 08:56:30 am
Quote from: DarkStalker on December 01, 2012, 12:48:10 pm
(I think I'll skip the scouring pad customisations when I come to do him tho -and as a 6 piece metal model he'll take some pinning)

I probably wouldn't go that way either!! Would look good in a Blood Bowl team with that throwing arm!
Quote from: Dave on December 02, 2012, 07:19:37 am
I think he looks like a baskeball player who's going for a dunk.

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/Wood%20Elfs/9115251d.jpg)

Agreed though my inital thoughts were he was going for a massive happy slap, has the other hand got a mobile phone in - I can't quite see? Or alternatively he's launching a giant custard pie - I blame children's television for that.

Dave - did you paint up Durthu in the last 24 hours in response to the Advent Calendar? Wouldn't surprise me!! Can we set you the challenge of painiing each character in the Advent Calendar before I upload the next one?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 02, 2012, 09:23:12 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 2nd December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Missed it yesterday? What have you been doing?!! Well this is Day 2 of the third annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Each day the spoiler-shaped door below will contain a special character that is lost from the Warhammer battlefields. Perhaps they disappeared from an old Army book, perhaps they're in a new one with no model, or perhaps they were released somewhere even more vague!

Hope you enjoy this, if you can't get enough I am rerunning an updated calendar of last year's advent calendar on The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 – I am literally that nice to you.

Love to hear your comments, abuse, marriage proposals, suggestions and as usual with these calendars, corrections. So please get involved:

[spoiler]
2nd December: Klawmunkast

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV013.jpg)

Name: Klawmunkast

Original Points Cost: 250 points

Background: Klawmunkast is leader of the Warlock's Warplocks leading Clan Skryre's armies in a civil war (is there any other kind for Skaven) against Clan Pestilens Plague Priests. He's insane even by Conservative MP levels and is responsible for many crazy inventions including the deadly Rat Tank – which is not a box for keeping rats in. His left eye was lost in an explosion and is replaced by a shard of Warpstone – should have gone to Specsavers.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 244 (April 2000) Klawunkast appeared in a scenario  on Civil Wars in the Skaven under-Empire entitled "Warpstone!"

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV018.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV021.jpg)

Last Appearance: Perhaps unsurprisingly White Dwarf 244 (April 2000)

Special Rules: Klawmunkast is a genius and can re-roll a misfire for any war machine in his army (except the Rat Tank), if he still rolls a misfire, he may add 1 to the result on the table. Klawmunkast make an enhanced unit of Skavenslaves to represent those that have survived his hideous experimentation. His Warpstone eyepiece is the magic item Eye of Skraw it allows him to cast him the Warp Lightning spell without any power cards each turn. The Rat Tank has a double page spread of special rules, which even I have too much going on in my life to recount.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV117.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Essentially just during the writing of this article.

Person most Reminds me of: Robert Llewellyn from Scrapheap Challenge – look at that tank!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Klawmunkast's rules probably translate across reasonably well, though not sure how many opponents would like to face a Skaven army re-rolling all its misfire dice. The Eye of Skraw should clearly become a bound spell with say Power Level (3) as they all seem to have that level. Even the enhanced Skavenslaves probably aren't too crazy an extra point for an extra pip of strength? Modelling wise Klawmunkast could probably be represented by a Skaven Warlock Engineer with a piece of Warpstone modelled in the eye socket – though note even the original White Dwarf didn't go to this trouble. If you fancied you could even model the Skavenslaves with additional claws, arms and tentacles. The Rat Tank – you are on you own you mad fool.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV104.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Tomorrow there will of course be another special character, in the meantime check out the updated version of last year's Advent Calendar over on The Official OG Games 2012 Advent Calendar:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49578;topicseen#msg49578 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49578;topicseen#msg49578)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 03, 2012, 08:00:14 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 3rd December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

In case you've not been on the forum this weekend, because you are mad? You will has so far missed this the third annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Every day between now and Christmas Eve we will look back at a special character that is lost from the Warhammer battlefields. Perhaps they disappeared from an old Army book, perhaps they're in a new one with no model, or perhaps the truth is even more disturbing!

Make sure you get in touch, but without further ado here's Day 3:

[spoiler]
3rd December: Dieter Helsnicht

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV025.jpg)

Name: Dieter Helsnicht, Doom Lord of Middenheim

Original Points Cost: 725 points – 4th Edition, 690 points – 5th Edition

Background: Dieter Helsnicht was a much feared wizard, eventually forced to flee the City of Middenheim when it was found out he was a member of UKIP, and was also Necromancer. He plotted his revenge in the Forest of Shadows – the notoriously bad sunbathing spot, before descending on the city. He was eventually defeated at the Battle of Beeckerhoven though his body was never discovered DUR DUR DURRRRHHHH!!!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Undead – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 172 (April 1994)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV031.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV028.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV037.jpg)

Special Rules: In 4th Edition Dieter didn't have any special rules, just the magic items The Chaos Runesword +1 Weapon Skill, Strength and Attacks and The Staff of Flaming Death casts a spell 24" striking first target in path inflicting D3 S4 hits, any unit wounded must take a panic test.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV035.jpg)

In 5th Edition Dieter gained the rule that he could choose freely between Necromantic and Dark magic spells, and his Manticore didn't have to take an enraged test. He also gained a Power Scroll casts a spell at no power cost once per game.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV039.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Dieter Helsnicht was going to lead the vast Undead army I was planning on buying when I was at secondary schools spending double French dreaming of Warhammer. As opposed to now when I spend days at work dreaming of Warhammer.

Person most Reminds me of: Thrown out of the home city for abhorrent acts – any of the cast of The Only Way Is Essex – TOWIE for the cool kids.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The main problem with copying over Dieter is the fact that technically Vampire Counts characters aren't allowed to ride Manticores. However if you overlook this then the rest is simple obviously he should now pick spells from Lore of Death or Lore of Vampires, his Manticore rule copies across and the Staff of Flaming Death has clearly been shortened as the Rod of Flaming Death is now available in Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 8th Edition. As for The Chaos Runesword he shouldn't even have it, it's got Chaos in the name! Give it back Dieter. I reckon a cool and relatively simple model could be made using the plastic Chaos Lord on Manticore kit with rider of your choice. Initially I thought the one on the Zombie Dragon, but he may a bit too Blood Knighty for Deiter. As long as you paint the Manticore in more necrotic tones you should do fine!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV105.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Remember if you want to check out last year's Advent Calendar you can do over on The Official OG Games 2012 Advent Calendar:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49602;topicseen#msg49602 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49602;topicseen#msg49602)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 04, 2012, 09:19:13 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 4th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

How's the Christmas Shopping gone, done any yet? Maybe you've been too distracted opening the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar? If so let's put off that shopping further. Here's Day 4:

[spoiler]
4th December: Ungrol Four-Horn

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV048.jpg)

Name: Ungrol Four-Horn

Original Points Cost: 75 points

Background: Known as specky four-horn and jam-jar horns, Ungrol was thrown out of both human society and Beastmen society for having two heads and exceptionally small horns. After abortive dating attempts on My Single Friend, he finally snapped killing his tribe's chieftain and Bray Shaman and mounting their horns upon his own.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Beastmen - 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV045.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A.

Special Rules: Ungrol Four-Horn is taken as a unit upgrade for a basic Ungor unit rather than as a character. As such he's the only character who can Ambush with a Beastmen unit. Despite being the "most hateful creature in the Old World" he doesn't suffer from hatred, but may re-roll failed Primal Fury Test against Empire, Bretonnia and Beastmen units. His unit may not use the general's leadership. He has The Stolen Horns magic item, which give him either the powers of his Beastlord Horns or the Bray-Shaman depending on whether he passes a leadership test each turn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV051.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Upon first reading Warhammer Armies: Beastmen book I remember thinking he adds some nice character to the Ungor – in some ways the poorer siblings of the Beastmen both in gameplay and background.

Person most Reminds me of: A bitter and hateful person, thrown out of society for their looks sadly feels very much like my own life.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His existing rules obviously work, and I reckon he'd be quite a fun conversion challenge easily done with the Beastmen plastic kits. Giving an Ungor two heads with a bit of modelling putty for a neck shouldn't hurt. Then add some spare horns from the Gor plastic kits – they will look oversized, but that's fine as they should. Then it should be relatively easy to add some straps (like those found on the Beastmen range) using green stuff at the bases of the horns. To be honest it's so simple I may even do it myself.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV106.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Remember there's a classic character from Advent Calendars past over on the OG Gamers 2012 Official Advent Calendar here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49656;topicseen#msg49656 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49656;topicseen#msg49656)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 05, 2012, 08:24:39 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 5th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Day 5 and in a critical twist this is the 5th character in the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar:

[spoiler]
5th December: Azazel, Prince of Damnation

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV059.jpg)

Name: Azazel, Prince of Damnation

Original Points Cost: 570 points

Background: Azazel was leader of the Gerreon tribe at the time of the forming of The Empire. Unhappy with the idea of union after learning the lesson of Greece and the EU, he instead sold his soul to Slaanesh. He then went on to defeat Khorne's champion Arthar earning him Slaanesh's praise. He is now second only in beauty to Slaanesh, all who face him are turned by his powers of temptation.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition (supplement to Warhammer Armies: Realm of Chaos – 5th Edition). Model released in White Dwarf 254 (February 2001)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV054.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV062.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition (supplement to Warhammer Armies: Realm of Chaos – 5th Edition).

Special Rules: Azazel has the Mark of Slaanesh, flies, causes Terror, his claw gives him an extra Strength 8 attack causing D3 Wounds. Additionally he has The Dark Halo of Slaanesh giving him a 4+ Ward Save, and his Striking Tail means one model in base-to-base loses an attack. On top of all this he has the following Daemonic Rewards Temptator at the beginning of each Chaos turn one character in base-to-base contact must take a Leadership test, if they fail they join the Chaos army permanently! Master of Sorcery Level 2 Wizard using Lore of Slaanesh, and Daemonblade No armour saving throws allowed against Azazel's attacks.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV071.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV066.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I very nearly bought Azazel, but I think I got tempted by Gorthor instead – who remains un-built in a box to this very day, so that was a good purchase!

Person most Reminds me of: Tempting beauty I cannot resist even though I know it's wrong – clearly Michael Portillo mmmmmm!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: There's a lot of special rules, too many for me to remember!! Most do translate ok, Temptator is vicious but does rely on characters failing leadership tests which is relatively rare for most armies. His model is no longer available though he'd be relatively painless to convert from the Daemon Prince plastic kit. He's described as having swan-like wings so maybe add some Pegasus wings (available separately in the Bitz section), black hair and white porcelain like skin.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV107.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Today's character not floating your Forgotten boat, then head to The Official OG Games 2012 Advent Calendar right here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49702;topicseen#msg49702 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49702;topicseen#msg49702)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 06, 2012, 08:59:31 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 6th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Write another Christmas card or read about another special character? Write another Christmas card or read about another special character? Write another Christmas card or read about another special character? It's a hard choice, oh wait it isn't!

[spoiler]
6th December: Kadrin Redmane

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV078.jpg)

Name: Kadrin Redmane

Original Points Cost: 215 points

Background: Kadrin Redmane was the Runelord of Karak Varn, after successfully proving himself in the Battle of Three Towers, the unsuccessful sequel to the Lord of the Rings, in the War of the Beard. During the Time of Woe Karak Varn fell, and Kadrin fled to Karaz-a-Karak where he became a supply teacher teaching many young Dwarfs the secrets of forging. Eventually he returned to Karak Varn for long lost treasures discovering a vein of gromril opened up in an earthquake.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 254 (February 2001), he appeared in a special scenario entitled The Battle of Black Water Pass, where he leads a supply of Dwarf wagons away from Karak Varn when they are ambushed by Orcs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV081.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV074.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 254 (February 2001).

Special Rules: Kadrin is a standard Runesmith, though he is also Stubborn. He carries the following runic items The Hammer of Ages models hit with the hammer take a Leadership test for each hit, if they fail the hit wounds automatically with no armour save – otherwise roll as normal. The Shield of Stone confers a 2+ Ward Save against missiles and magic missiles.

My Memories of the Character: I absolutely refuse to believe any person remembers this character. Even Kadrin has probably forgotten.

Person most Reminds me of: The creepy ginger man who sits in the corner of the pub.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Tasty as Kadrin's runes are they transfer reasonably well to 8th edition with no need to change any of the wording. Both the existing Rune Lord models have a staff rather than a Hammer. I'd go for the Finecast one which I reckon you could add a hammer head to easily, the large shield could be taken from King Alrik's Shieldbearers kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV108.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More here...! http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49746;topicseen#msg49746 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49746;topicseen#msg49746)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 07, 2012, 07:45:42 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 7th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's the end of the first week of Forgotten Special Characters, if you've got any suggestions please don't send them in as I've written all 24 in advance. Thanks. Here's Day 7:

[spoiler]
7th December: Magnus the Pios

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV092.jpg)

Name: Magnus the Pious

Original Points Cost: 210 points (+7 points for his Warhorse)

Background: Magnus the Pious was sent to the University of Nuln in the hope he would become a cannon master, he proved a massive disappointment to his parents instead becoming one of The Empire greatest ever generals. In a time of strife as The Great War of Chaos began, and Starbucks ran out Mocha Lattes, Magnus's rousing speeches formed a great army which whilst too late to save Praag destroyed the Chaos army at the Gates of Kislev. Grateful the people made him Emperor condemning him to a live of tedious meetings and appearance on This Morning where he was presented with a card suggesting the Elector Count of Ostoland was a paedophile.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition. No model released.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV085.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition, as a playable character but is listed in many sources of history of The Empire.

Special Rules: Magnus the Pious carries no magic items, just a sword, armour and shield. He is immune to all psychology and is unbreakable. Magnus is protected by Sigmar meaning he can re-roll any failed armour save, any spell directed against him or his unit is dispelled on a 4+, Magnus may swap all his attacks for a single attack, if it hits then it strikes at Strength 10 and does D3 wounds.

My Memories of the Character: He was pretty much the only Empire character without a model, and has been left out presumably as he's the only "historical" Empire character listed.

Person most Reminds me of: I don't know. This is a stupid character, who came up with it?!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Relatively simple rules, as early 4th edition always was. Other than tidying them up to modern equivalents e.g. dispel becoming Magic Resistance (3) etc. should carry across. In fact a lot of these effects seem to be present on other current characters. Model wise the trusty plastic Empire Hero kit should do well, just don't go too fancy at this point in his history he's not a figure of authority and you should choose a normal sword option rather than any fancier weapons. You could even mix in some State Troop bits to make him look appropriately mundane!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV109.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Another character here, enough said: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49769;topicseen#msg49769 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49769;topicseen#msg49769)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 08, 2012, 12:16:09 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 8th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Horray it's the weekend! Boo I'm still up early (I say early!) uploading this, well you best enjoy it's Day 8:

[spoiler]
8th December: Arkhan the Black

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV095.jpg)

Name: Arkhan the Black

Original Points Cost: 525 points

Background: Arkhan the Black was Nagash's most trusted right hand man – having to stand on a large pile of boxes to reach his right hand (joke only works for those who know the old Nagash model!). He was first to get a round of Nagash drinking the Elixir of Life. Eventually he led a suicidal attack on the Army of the Seven Kings to allow Nagash to escape, and was brought down by a spear thrown by Tessa Sanderson. Raised by Nagash's great spell he has fought Arabay, the Empire, Settra and West Germany in the 1970 World Cup Quarter Final. He hopes one day to resurrect Nagash, stand on those boxes and hold his right hand again.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Undead – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 169 (January 1994)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV100.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV097.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – 8th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV124.jpg)

Special Rules: Literally none in the 4th Edition, he had a chariot and some standard magic items. Even the Tome Blade of Arkhan was a standard army supplies in Warhammer Battle Magic – poor Arkhan!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV121.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I loved his four horse chariot and wanted that in my massive Undead army that I never got around to collecting. One day, one day! Mooo hahahahahahaha!

Person most Reminds me of: That poor sod at the London Olympics, you remember he got hit by a javelin and then run over by a scale model of a Mini Cooper. So unlucky.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Arkhan lives on, after getting lost in the split of Undead into Vampires and Tomb Kings he finally returned in Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – 8th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV127.jpg)

Chariot is out and on foot is in fashion. Sadly no model as yet, hence his inclusion here, for now I'd go for this standard Liche King, is it wrong I'm slightly tempted to model a spear sticking out of him?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV362.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Remember if you want to check out last year's Advent Calendar you can do over on The Official OG Games 2012 Advent Calendar: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49808;topicseen#msg49808] (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49808;topicseen#msg49808)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 09, 2012, 09:15:27 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 9th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's Sunday you're probably not reading this but hey ho! It's Forgotten Special Character number 9 you know the rules, a character with no rules or rules and no model or just old and dusty. Here's Day 9:

[spoiler]
9th December: Leonardo Da Miragliano

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV129.jpg)

Sorry this is really dull photography but I can find no images of this elusive character!!

Name: Leonardo Da Miragliano

Original Points Cost: 200 points

Background: Leonardo Da Miragliano is a genius, I know the feeling, he was discovered designing the new city of Miragliano. It was realised he was a genius when it was noticed the proposed underground transport network was designed in such a way that it was impossible for groups of foreign tourists to stand in the way anywhere on the network. He went on to found the Imperial Engineering School, invent the Steam Tank and design those clever resealable pack that cheese come in.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition, no model released (as far as I can tell – I really thought there was one but can't find it anywhere!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV137.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition, though mentioned throughout the history of The Empire as the father of the Steam Tank.

Special Rules: Leonardo may give his genius skills to the general allowing them one of the following special rules: all war machines in a battery may re-roll misfires; a unit of crossbowmen may re-roll missed hits; or one unit may arrive as a flank reinforcement at any time in the battle. He also has three scientific items (not affected by things that don't stop magic items): Sphere of Alchemy thrown as BS weapon with range D6+2" if it hits place the small round template models suffer D3 Strength 3 hits; Prism of Power every magic phase on a 4+ discard one of the opponent's magic cards; Compass of Meteoric Silver opponents must reveal which unit contains his highest value magic item at the beginning of the battle.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV133.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I primarily remember this character from his role in the Empire background, remember those days when an Empire general can only take 8 Steam Tanks?!!!

Person most Reminds me of: My Dyson and his wacky hand dryers!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Oh for god's sake I'm not making up rules for a Dogs of War army, use an Empire Engineer model and then make up a full set of army rules. I can't be arsed!

[/spoiler]

Head over to this link to find another Special Character: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49821;topicseen#msg49821 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49821;topicseen#msg49821)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 10, 2012, 09:02:38 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 10th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

A new week another Monday and you should be going down to play a game at the OG Club tonight. If not why not, organise one immediately! Oh ok it can wait until after you've looked at today's Special Character but then...

[spoiler]
10th December: Baron Odo d'Outremer avec Suliman le Saracen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV142.jpg)

Name: Baron Odo d'Outremer avec Suliman le Saracen

Original Points Cost: 110 points

Background: Baron Odo d'Outremer was one of the most determined fighters in the invasion of Araby to bring and end to Jaffar search for weapons of mass destruction and absolutely not for oil. He battled many of Jaffar's champions including Suliman defeating him. He discovered Suliman was a man of honour and spared his life, at about the same time Suliman discovered pretending to be a man of honour would result in his life being spared.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition. Model released in White Dwarf (October 1997)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV148.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV145.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

Special Rules: Odo and Suliman must fight together and be the unit champion of either a Knights of the Realm or Knights Errant unit. Sulimen has a war cry, any opponent wishing to attack must pass a leadership test or Sulimen strikes first even with his great weapon. Odo is armed with the Morning Star of Fracasse which gives him +2 Strength if he inflicts a wound on any character armed with a magic weapon roll a D6 on a 4+ the weapon is destroyed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV155.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: He came out just as I began my dark period of not playing Warhammer I do remember him being an interesting model adding a different look to the Bretonnians.

Person most Reminds me of: For some reason he reminds me of the shapeshifter on Star Trek Deep Space Nine – why remains a mystery.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The rules as stand seem pretty fair and not broken. The model sadly is not available any more, though I have a strong feeling it was available not that long ago as a collector's model in the Bretonnian range. I suspect eBay or low level theft might be your best bet.

[/spoiler]

Remember another character from The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 is just a click away – this click in fact: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49855;topicseen#msg49855 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49855;topicseen#msg49855)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 10, 2012, 09:35:16 am
[spoiler]You can actually put the new edition of Arkhan on a chariot, give it 2 extra horsies and then give it flying.  Plus his multitude of cool equipment and FAQs clarifying some of it.

Always a lvl 5 death mage and that level can't drop even when he loses levels... (wonderful FAQ). choppy sword that's a bit meh because you ideally don't want him in combat and a funky item for storing even more dice to take into your already crazy magic phase, then cast purple sun and get all those dice back!

I've not gotten round to painting up his cart and ponies yet, so only have the foot version.
Arkhan the black
(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/Tomb%20Kings/0F6A233F-6E94-4722-8C77-24C9756C2378-4335-000007EC2CF55CD7.jpg)[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: anavorn on December 10, 2012, 09:43:36 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on December 09, 2012, 09:15:27 am
Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition, no model released (as far as I can tell – I really thought there was one but can't find it anywhere!).

Don't think they did ever released a model for him, i think people ended up using the model from the old (4th Edition ?) Helblaster.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 10, 2012, 02:12:31 pm
Quote from: anavorn on December 10, 2012, 09:43:36 am
Don't think they did ever released a model for him, i think people ended up using the model from the old (4th Edition ?) Helblaster.

I think that's what I saw when I did some Google Image searches - best way to check the definite existence of a model or not!

Good to know Dave - make him even viler!! Lovely model work as always.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 11, 2012, 09:10:30 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 11th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Who could it be today? Chaos Dwarf, Gnoblar, Wood Elf, Ungor or something else? Only one way to find out. Here's Day 11:

[spoiler]
11th December: Ghoritch

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV162.jpg)

Name: Ghoritch, Castellan of Hell Pit

Original Points Cost: 255 points

Background: Ghoritch was originally a psychotic Marauder who lived in Wolverhampton and fought for Archaon in the Storm of Chaos. He disobeyed his master leading his tribe against an Empire artillery train, it was heavily armoured killing all the tribe bar Ghortich. Had it not been Empire artillery rail replacement bus service Ghoritch would have been killed. As punishment Archaon handed him over to Throt the Unclean who experimented on him, placing his brain in a Rat Ogre. The experiment was so successful that he became leader of the Hell Pit's garrison, and gained Throt an A in GSCE mutilation.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 311 (November 2005). Ghoritch appears as a special character in a special Hell Pit army list.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV170.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV159.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 311 (November 2005).

Special Rules: Ghoritch causes Fear, all Clan Moulder units within 6" may re-roll failed psychology tests, he is subject to frenzy if he loses his frenzy he becomes subject to stupidity, he ignores all armour saves.

My Memories of the Character: No one remember this character, surely?

Person most Reminds me of: Tim my friend from school had his brain placed in the school gerbil, you remember Tim?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Easily done, most rules carry over and even if they are broken it's Skaven – it fits the theme!! Nudge nudge wink wink cheeky fun Skaven players, I'm only joking love you all! Actually his rules seem fine. In the article the conversion suggests adding various Ork power equipment such as Ghazghkull's Power Claw to a Rat Ogre.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV167.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Not a fan of that character? Well head over to The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 and tell all your friends: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49888;topicseen#msg49888 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49888;topicseen#msg49888)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2012, 08:44:17 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 12th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Halfway through also known as s**t you should be ready for Christmas now!! Another character for you perusal though, do you remember this one?

[spoiler]
12th December: Valnir the Reaper

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV176.jpg)

Name: Valnir the Reaper

Original Points Cost: 340 points

Background: Valnir the Reaper was a Champion of Nurgle who fought in the Great War of Chaos, he was eventually cut down by Aleixs, the Tzar of Kislev at the Gates of Kislev after a row about how to spell Kislev. His followers placed his body on a stone throne, and 200 years later Nurgle rose him again, his body skeletal and oozing with maggots and his Chaos armour broken. It was as if he'd been packed by a Ryanair baggage handler. He now rose again to terrorise the Old World.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition (supplement to Warhammer Armies: Realm of Chaos), no model ever released,

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV181.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Champions of Chaos – 5th Edition

Special Rules: Valnir has the Mark of Nurgle, hates all living enemies, immue to fear, terror and panic and causes fear. He can nominate one living enemy unit at the beginning of the game to suffer the Wind of Pestilence – suffering either D6 S3 hits no armour save, Stupidity or -1 Strength. He carries the magic weapon Gatherer of Souls +2S, for every 3 wounds caused he may add 1 to his Attacks, Weapon Skill or Strength (up to a total of 10). And he has the Chaos Reward Regeneration.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV178.jpg)

My Memories of the Character:I wondered if he'd get every model during my massive Chaos phase – I got lots of Chaos, though having now sold my soul to Tzeentch I am less interested.

Person most Reminds me of: Old, decaying and causing fear – Peter Stringfellow!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Most of his rules carry across, the Chaos Gift Regeneration obviously just becoming the rule. Not sure if the Gatherer of Souls seems a bit potent – admittedly he need to cause 39 wounds to become a Strength 10, Weapon Skill 10, Attacks 10 monster, but it's a scary thought. Model wise two options for conversion I can think of – the Nurgle plastic Lord everyone loves, swapped with a flail from the Marauder kit and with his flesh painted as it's actually dead. Or maybe convert Krell, the Undead Chaos character, add some maggots and a little flesh, and a flail and that could look really good.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV363.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Remember another character from The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 is just round the corner: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49915;topicseen#msg49915 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49915;topicseen#msg49915)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2012, 08:51:24 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 92 – The Goose is Getting Fat Wednesday 12th December 2012

If you are looking for today's Advent Calendar entry it is the post above this one!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

92.1 – Meet the Team

With the decorations up and festive cheer definitely in the air it's time to meet the Procrastination by Numbers team:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been mainly hanging mistletoe up every wear, in the vein hope someone, somewhere will kiss him. Even Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot has refused!

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been opening her Advent Calendar wondering why all she can find behind the doors is old models of Morglum Necksnapper rather than any actual chocolate.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has been drooling over the brand new The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey models, before going to pick up some Dark Angels Green paint and spilling it all over the table!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant's tactical acumen has been put to the full test this week as she's been forced to hide from an angry woodcutter who mistook her for a Christmas Tree!

92.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 12

It's time for the regular feature where I explain why I haven't painted my Space Marine army. We are now in Month 2. And keen readers will remember this is what I attempted to paint last month:

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad (2 of 5) 80 points (of 200 points – full squad)
80 points

TOTAL: 250 points

And this is what I actually painted:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1651.jpg)

Not really glittering start I'd hoped for but dictatorship of the Warhammer 40,000 painting world may still be mine!!

Month 2 means I get another 250 points to add to my army. Meaning I'm now 500 points behind. Oh dear. But it does mean I can paint my full Terminator Squad in one go which has some clear time saving advantages. For the rest of my points it seems sensible to go for an HQ choice, as discussions at the club with the Warhammer 40,000 experts reveals I need one. Plus looking in my Assault on Black Reach box set reveals all I have left to paint is a Space Marine Captain and a Dreadnought so that works well.

The Space Marine Captain falls a few points short of what I need to make up the 500 points, but that's alright because I can max him up on Magic Items... what do you mean there aren't Magic Items in 40K? God dam it!!

And as my Space Marine Captain doesn't appear to be modelled with any particularly funky weaponry I'm going to be a bit short this month:

Space Marine Captain 100 points
100 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad 200 points
200 points

TOTAL: 370 points

Whilst I could paint up 26% of my Dreadnought, I've decided I'd be better rolling over my 30 points to Month 3 and instead concentrating on actually getting some F***ING MODELS PAINTED YOU PROCRASTINATING MORON.

Quite.

With that mantra in mind I got the rest of the team in on the Ultramarine painting.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1686.jpg)

Sadly we had a few problems... turns out the Resident Six Year Old Artist is kind of set in her ways.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1701.jpg)

And Mr Shakey Shakey is just a liability to have around:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1697.jpg)

Still despite the team's help, I've made some good progress. All the Tactical Squad and Terminators now have finished blue power armour, and I've made a start on the rest of the details:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1714.jpg)

Bizarrely despite me painting them in exactly the same way as my test model, none of these 14 guys have come out with a glossy sheen, unlike my original model – glossy original on right, matt newbie on left, suspicious hair centre:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1709.jpg)

It's sort of good, as I didn't want them glossy, but I hope the Matt Spray (not a rude euphuism) sorts out the first model. I don't want one of my Space Marines looking like they've lubed up ready for some hot S&M Space Marine action. Well certainly not the ones I display publicly on the forum!

I've started doing the details on some of these guys and presuming that the all time consuming Christmas preparation and party monster allows, I will hopefully have some time in the next few days to get further with these.

92.3 – The Further Adventures of Rashnrak the Beastlord, Part 6

Last week I promised I'd get up to date with my Beastmen, and this week I deliver! Yep it's Month 6 of Rashnrak's adventures – ironically named as that's how long I've spent putting off writing up this fluff.

Anyway it was the end of Summer big all night summer rave in the Badlands as we paid our quarterly mega game – like the gas bill, but more exciting. All our armies now had access to the Marshes, so it was time for Rashnrak to get stuck in:

Delithor looked to the sky before he emitted an almighty roar; the Chaos Gods had been in contact with him again! They instructed him he was head to the marshes, that was the destiny of the Beastmen tribe, that is where they were being willed. Only there would they find out the true purpose of their mission. With a guttural roar he relayed the information to Rashnrak. Rashnrak cursed, he knew better than to ignore the advice of the tribe's main Bray-Shaman, particularly when communications from the Chaos Gods are concerned. However the thought of tramping through the marsh upset him, mud stuck between the cleft in his hooves and bogged down Tuskgor Chariots. Still on the plus side some of the Ungor would drown. At this point Rashnrak considered how to make wellingtons out of skinned Ungor flesh, as the tribe began the march

For the start of our summer bash, each army from Team Evil was randomly drawn to face an army from Team Good, in a different area of the marsh with different bonkers special rules. For the marsh any unit attempting to march, charge, flee or pursue would have to take a Dangerous Terrain test, with the exception of my Regiment of Renown who had the marsh strider special rules and any flyers. Additionally every magic phase D3 random pieces of terrain would move 2D6" random inches across the battlefield. Any unit touched suffered D6+1 hits at Strength D6+1. Told you it was random! Plus the armies were deployed as if it was a Dawn Attack.

I was given 600 points to spend on Rashnrak and his regiment of renown, than a further 2,400 points to spend normally and I selected this (letters of complaint to the usual address about my army selection):

Beastlord, Rashnrak – armed with the Stone Crusher Mace (+3 Strength, Strength 10 against any chariots, war machines, buildings etc.), the Talisman of Endurance (5+ Ward Save), Heavy Armour and the Chaos Gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Scaly Skin save), Special Shield (prize from Month 3 – 6+ Parry Save). 251 points

7 Centigors armed with Spear, Shield and Light Armour with musician, standard bearer with Razor Standard (unit has armour piercing rule, this standard is provided free within campaign rules). Unit is led by Ghorros Warhoof (Centigors in his unit gain +1 Weapon Skill. Should he be killed all Primal Fury tests for remainder of game are taken at +1 Leadership.) armed with the Mansmasher (all unsaved wounds = D3 wounds) and the Skull of the Unicorn Lord (Magic Resistance (2), unit is hated by Wood Elves). 351 points

Malagor the Dark Omen (Lore of the Beasts). 350 points

Great Bray-Shaman, Delithor (Lore of Death, Level 3) – armed with the Brass Cleaver (+1 Attack for each enemy in base-to-base contact taken as free magic item), Hagtree Fetish (nominate one enemy unit within 24" each magic phase, all failed rolls to wound may be rerolled in that phase), Chaos gift Gnarled Hide (5+ Armour Save). 235 points

Wargor Battle Standard Bearer – armed with Great Weapon, Heavy Armour and The Beast Banner (+1 Strength to all models in the unit). 193 points

40 Gor with shields and full command. 345 points

6 Ungor Raider, armed with short bows with Halfhorn and musician. 45 points

3 Tuskgor Chariots, Gor armed with Spear, Bestigor armed with Great Weapon. 240 points

3 Minotaurs, armed with Great Weapons and light armour. 189 points

3 Razorgors. 165 points

6 Harpies with Scouting. 55 points

Cygor. 275 points

Jabberslythe. 275 points

TOTAL: 3,000 points

Rashnrak's army strode through the mists, in front of them stood the marshes. Rashnrak sniffed Dwarf flesh in the air and cursed, he hated those cursed stunties. Rashnrak looked around working out where to defecate in order to mark out his territory, when a hill moved through his field of vision. Today was going to be a difficult day...

Deployment

As you can see from the photo below, using the Dawn Attack scenario rules the bulk of the Beastmen forces were deployed diagonally opposite the bulk of the Dwarf forces, and a whole load of books, templates and drinks were deployed higgly piggly dee all over the battlefield ruining the photo. The Dwarf army consisted of an Anvil of Doom, 2 Gyrocopters, and large blocks of Rangers, Slayer, Hammerers and Warriors

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1717.jpg)

The Scouts then used their Strollaz rune to advance closer to the Beastmen lines:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1718.jpg)

Turn 1

The Rangers advance to within spitting distance of the Beastmen lines, while the Anvil of Doom moved the two Gyrocopters in a position to open their steam tanks. One killed four Harpies with the rest fleeing the board, whilst the other steamed three Ungor Raiders causing the other three to flee.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1719.jpg)

The Beastmen retaliated by throwing caution to the wind and piling every unit they could into the Rangers. All three Tuskgor Chariots, one Razorgor, the Jabberslythe and the Centigor charged the Rangers – well they would have, but one of the Chariots failed it's dangerous terrain and was destroyed in the marsh causing the Razorgor to panic and flee the board. Sigh! In the magic phase a hill moves through the battlefield killing 3 Slayers, 5 Dwarf Warriors and taking 2 wounds of one of the Tuskgor Chariots. The Dwarfs manage to counter the Beastmen magic, and the Cygor misses with his thrown stone.

In the combat phase the Centigors roll a double 1 for their Primal Fury test giving them Frenzy! Which begins an impressive combat phase for the Beastmen: 8 Rangers are run down by Impact Hits, Ghorros kills 4 more Rangers leading his Centigor who do a further 11! The Jabberslythe takes down 1 Warrior and the crew of the Chariots kill another 2. In return the Rangers kill a Centigor and do wounds on the Jabberslythe – whose blood spurts over the unit killing two more Rangers. With 3 Rangers stomped by the Jabberslythe a massive total of 31 wounds is inflicted on the Rangers leaving the whole unit dead and the Thane on a single wound. Unsurprisingly the Thane flees, but the Beastmen restrain worried about giving the Dwarfs the chance to charge and overrun through their lines.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1720.jpg)
   
Turn 2

In the movement phase the Thane rallies, while the Runesmith uses the Anvil of Doom to make the Slayers charge the Tuskgor Chariot. In the shooting phase the Gyrocopter unleash their steam payloads killing the remaining Ungor Raiders and 8 Gors from the large block.

In combat the Slayers destroy the Tuskgor Chariot overrunning into the rear of the Centigors.

The Beastmen are unable to make any charges but the flank force moves towards the centre. Again the terrain goes crazy in the magic phase killing 5 Dwarf Warriors. Malagor and the Beastmen Shaman attempt to help Ghorros and the Centigors casting the Curse of Anraheir and the Withering on the Slayers. It's not enough as Ghorros is struck down by the Dragon Slayer and the Centigors break escaping the ginger Dwarfs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1721.jpg)
   
Turn 3

The Dwarf Turn 3 is rather uneventful with most units moving for position. However in the magic phase the Cygor is wounded by terrain. The Anvil misfires but no damage is done, though the Gyrocopter kills 4 Gors.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1722.jpg)

The Tuskgor Chariot hits the flank of the Slayers, not expecting to do much but it's too good an opportunity to miss. The Dwarf Lord uses his Master Rune of Challenge on the Jabberslythe, but it opts to flee. Whereas the Centigors rally.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1723.jpg)

The terrain again picks on the Dwarfs as a moving hill kills 2 Slayers and 4 Dwarf Warriors. In the magic phase the Bray Shaman miscasts Enfeebling Foe on the Slayers wounding both him and Malagor.

The Tuskgor Chariot runs down 4 Slayers, due to Enfeebling Foe they only manage a wound back, but they turn to face the Chariot.

Turn 4

Seeing that Malagor has been wounded by the recent miscast the Gyrocopter charged in, in the hope of finishing him off.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1724.jpg)

In the terrain phase the hills move again killing a Hammerer and the Tuskgor Chariot engaged to the Slayers, annoying the Dwarfs as it didn't give them a chance to reform after winning the combat.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1725.jpg)

The remaining Gyrocopter steams a single Gor. Malagor does a single wound on the Gyrocopter for none in return.

The Jabberslythe fails to rally, though the Centigors do. A single Slayer is killed when the hill moves again.

Malagor casts Savage Beasts of Horros on himself, and the Cygor kills 4 Warriors with a well-placed rock.

In the combat phase Malagor gets frenzy for his primal fury test, combined with the Savage Beast of Horros he rips the Gyrocopter out of the sky causing 4 wounds!

Turn 5

The Dwarfs move towards the centre of the battlefield, again the battlefield goes against the Dwarfs as four Dwarf Warriors and two Hammerers are flattened under the hill.

The Anvil of Doom charges the Gyrocopter at the Jabberslythe forcing it to flee off the table.

With no combat, the Beastmen continue to advance towards the Dwarfs. In the magic phase the terrain gets revenge for the Jabberslythe, by killing the remaining Gyrocopter!

Turn 6

With the two armies too far away to meet, Turn 6 is completely uneventful!

Conclusion

Totally up the victory points revealed I had scored 750 points and the Dwarfs 789 points! Because we needed a definite winner, that marginal difference meant I'd lost! Curses!!!! In fairness I got a lot of help from the terrain, and a large quantity of our troops were split up so couldn't get into combat. So I probably won't complain... too much.

Rashnrak cursed his luck, just as he'd got ready to smash some stuntie scum, a darkness had fallen across the marshes. The battle had been close, many Dwarfs lay dead, large numbers mown down by the inhospitable landscape. But his Beastmen had fled, Razorgor and Jabberslythe had fled the marshes and his chariots were destroyed. It had been a close fought battle but he could tell that the cursed Dwarfs had defeated him yet again.

Then as he went to converse with Malagor, who was still chewing on the remains of the dead Gryocopter, the darkness intensified. This was no natural darkness, purple shapes danced in the air and incandescent images leapt across the sky. Then Malagor dropped the Dwarf's body his eyes glowed an unnatural red, Rashnrak instantly recognised this, the same side effects as when Delithor communed with the Chaos Gods. But this was more intense the burning red was so bright it was scaring away the scampering Ungor, and enraging the blundering Minotaurs. Then Malagor boomed echoing in a voice, that was not his, but commanded the utmost respect. "PROVE YOUR WORTH!". Then the light in Malagor's eyes extinguished and his body fell to the floor. It was only then that Rashnrak realised they no longer stood in the marshes. A mysterious alien landscape had coalesced around him and his army. As he looked further afield he saw the armies of the traitorous Ratman and the loathsome man-things. Just as he was about to shout a war cry. Malagor joined him at his side. "No we must work with the rats and the humans.", Rashnrak couldn't believe what he was hearing, but he knew better than to question the will of the Chaos Gods. Malagor continued, "This is the Realm of Chaos. You, the man-ruler and the Greater Skaven must escape." Malagor pointed his arm across at a shimmering portal that had militarised at the top of a nearby rockface. Around shimmering Daemons were winking into existence. Malagor boomed,"Rashnrak escape, and your destiny will become clear. And what a great destiny it will be." Rashnrak looked to either side, emissaries of the men and the Skaven were heading towards him. Whatever game the Chaos Gods had decided he would play, they had clearly chosen his allies, though Rashnrak wished they'd chosen someone else to be his allies... anyone else.


Next up the three loser of the last game, myself, Tom's Skaven and Mike's Empire had to forge and unlikely alliance with our 9,000 points the same armies we used in the last game. Tom and Gareth then deployed 6,000 points of Daemons. All we had to was get our generals through a central portal, I've never ever played Daemons so what could possibly go wrong? Oh it turns Daemons have a 5+ Ward Save, don't break and are bloody nuts!!

Sadly time and sanity prevented making detailed notes of the battle and to be honest you probably wouldn't read it anyway! So instead here's a couple of quick snaps and a summary of what happened.

The Allied forces lined up to face wave after wave of Daemons:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1726.jpg)

Winning the first turn the army advances with the Gutter Runners getting ready to sacrifice themselves to slow down the Daemons.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1727.jpg)

The Bloodcrushers charge headlong into the large block of Empire Knights, while the Bloodletters plough into the Gutter Runners.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1728.jpg)

The Knights are massacred, and the Bloodcrushers overrun into the Gor block containing Rashnrak. The Gutter Runners do an impressive amount of damage to the Bloodletters before they succumb.

The Jabberslythe and Razorgor launch an impressive counter attack on the Bloodletters, as across the flanks the Daemons are destroyed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1729.jpg)

But the Bloodcrushers and Gors remain locked in a bloody stalemate.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1730.jpg)

A flank charge on the rest of the Bloodletters seals their fate, clearing their path for the Skaven Warlord to advance towards the portal.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1731.jpg)

Tom is particularly annoyed when the Cygor scores a direct hit on the Bloodthirster doing 4 wounds!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1734.jpg)

The Empire General on the Griffon fights his way through a Juggernaut to make it through the portal.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1732.jpg)

Rashnrak remains locked in combat with the Bloodcrushers towards the end of the battle, in the end the Grey Wizard uses his spell lore to swap places and Rashnrak escapes.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1733.jpg)

With that all three generals make it through the portal... just.

Rashnrak cursed loudly, no matter how much he and his Gors slashed at the Khronate beasts in front of him they refused to die. To make matters worse ahead he could see the Skaven warlord scampering up the rock face towards the portal. The rat-thing was going to escape. At least the human would die with him he thought, just then the unmistakable shadow of a Griffon passed over him as the human leader flew straight through the portal. Rashnrak let out a roar of rage. Then suddenly grey tendrils of smoke rose from the ground engulfing him, when they dissipated he found himself with the human soldiers. Fighting every one of his primal instincts to slaughter the men where he stood, he turned back to see the human Wizard standing where he once had been. "The fools kept up their end of the bargain" he thought, he was no Skaven but couldn't see the sense of the human wizard sacrificing himself to save Rashnrak. But he wasted no time, more Daemons were on his way, with a loud roar he leapt through the portal.

Sometime later the bloody and battered body of the Grey Wizard clambered the rock face, reaching out for the portal. Behind him lay the shattered bodies of the Gor, who had finally banished the Khornate beasts. He was conflicted by the logic of saving the Beastlord, but his General had made the wishes quite clear. He was just about to step into the portal, when a dark chill fell across his heart. The flapping of wings caught his attention as he turned to see Malagor standing right behind him. He'd just landed. "I saved your master. Let us escape to.", he said offering a hand of friendship to Malagor. But before he could regret his decision, Malagor's claw plunged through the human's ribcage pulling out his beating heart. "Destiny has no further use for you.", Malagor spoke the words in a cold dark tongue, not quite his. Before he disappeared through the portal, the last thing the Grey Wizard saw before the pain became unbearable was the Daemonic portal seal...


Victorious as my Beastmen may have seen karma came back and bit on my bum when both my Cygor and Jabberslythe were injured on the way home. That combined with my work in progress Ghorgon with a death wish left me with a Paralympic Beastmen Monster team:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1659.jpg)

Time to get the glue out I fear.

92.4  – Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Update

As you can't possibly have failed to notice, the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar rumbles on, we're halfway through so I hope you are enjoying it. Remember the amount of work that went into it...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1655.jpg)

...so you better be enjoying it! Remember to leave your comments and tweet your thoughts: #warhammeradvent

92.5  – Get In Touch

Remember as always I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of the following:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where I've been tweeting a link to the Advent Calendar every day! Surprised I haven't lost more followers.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 13, 2012, 09:05:51 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 13th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Day 13 innit?! Yes it is. Here you go:

[spoiler]
13th December: Tetto'Eko

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV114.jpg)

Name: Tetto' Eko

Original Points Cost: 255 points

Background: Born during an Eclipse of the Sun, Tetto'Eko was concerned special – his parents even got an interview in The Daily Mirror and an appearance on The One Show. He is old by Skink standards and remembers a time when everything was better, but still can keenly predict astrological events.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen - 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV009.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A.

Special Rules: Tetto'Eko is a level 2 Skink Wizard, and may attempt to predict a cosmic event at the beginning of any magic phase, roll 2D6 on a 3+ all Lore of Heavens spells rolling any double or cast with Irresistible Force, on a 2 the effect applies to the enemy in the following magic phase. He has Eye of the Old Ones the Lizardmen player may redeploy D3 units after everyone has deployed. The Stellar Staff allows Tetto'eko to re-roll the arrival dice for any Comet of Cassandora he casts. The Palanquin of Constellations works as a Mage Priest palanquin except in a unit of Skinks.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV007.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Just found him in the book now, sorry not up on my Lizards!

Person most Reminds me of: Chief Astrologer, surprisingly old man – it must be Russel Grant, let's hope his Viennese Waltz is as good.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Rules are fine, we just need a model. There aren't really any defining characteristics in Tetto'Eko's background that define him from other Skink Shamans. Though you may want to try and give him older skin compared to your other Skinks. He'll need a Palanquin which you could either model yourself, or use the Dwarf Oath Stone, modelling you own runes, or failing that a Lizardman Plaque. Mount on a standard flying base and there you go.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV103.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Did you know I'm doing another Advent Calendar? Really have I not mentioned it enough? Well head here to see more: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49964;topicseen#msg49964 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49964;topicseen#msg49964)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on December 13, 2012, 09:49:08 am
That's a rather horrible looking broken pile for the beasts, always nasty to get some damage on the big stuff, still I'm sure the festive period. I played a game against beatment last night with my Orcs, I nicely diced him off the table with some real skillz, but it was generally a quite enjoyable game, lots of carnage and tactical little charges here and there between all our vast number of chariots and random guff units.

Yours seemed to do impressively well against the daemons, going toe to toe with all his big units and winning the grind.

Ultras are looking good, some real progress on them, white termies heads have come out well from what I can see of those pictures.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 13, 2012, 10:54:02 am
Yeah start to get the hang of using the chaff better for the Beastmen - rather than relying on their rather mediocre infantry units! Lots of glue required, my new unit of Minotaurs plunged off the desk too, so I'm going to need a large bottle of glue!

You say we did well against the Daemons, but it felt like a real struggle particularly given we had a 50% points advantage! Would dread to face them on even terms.

Thanks for the compliments on the Ultramarines, didn't show them up too close as most of the details are just a basecoat at present - including the Terminator's heads! So hopefully your early praise bodes well, I really like the way the details actually bring the blue to life. The little touches of red and white are making a quite simple painting scheme looking more detailed than they are!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 14, 2012, 09:08:34 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 14th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's Day 14. Who could it be? Who could it be? You didn't read this you just clicked on the spoiler didn't you?

Hmm. Here's Day 14:

[spoiler]
14th December: Grotfang

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV407.jpg)

Name: Grotfang

Original Points Cost: 121 points

Background: Grotfang is warlord of the Ironclaw tribe, he was a powerful Orc tribe until his power was weakened when he lost a by-election and his ancient burial site fell into Empire hands. His tribe demanded that he retake the area or forever lose face and be consigned to history as no better than Ken Livingstone.

Original Appearance: Idol of Gork Campaign Pack, model released White Dwarf 208 (April 1996)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV411.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV387.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV394.jpg)

Last Appearance: Idol of Gork Campaign Pack

Special Rules: Grotfang inspire his troops with his Yell, available on yell.com, he may shout at any fleeing troops that fail to rally (except Trolls) if they lie with 4D6" they automatically rally. Depending on the outcomes of battles in the campaign, Grotfang will either have The Crown of Gork – all units immune to animosity or the The Sword of Dork – the bearer and unit are immune to their first animosity fail.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV412.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: He was one of the first of the new look Orcs & Goblins that had the less cartoony expression. At the time I remember being very resistant though you have to admit this style looks a lot better now I look back.

Person most Reminds me of: Deposed ruler of all they surveyed, poor Carol Vorderman. And I do think Grotfang would make an excellent host of Loose Women.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules are pretty straight forward so I think it's a straight Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V job into the current Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins book. The current model is even still available, though you don't have to paint the base Goblin Green if you don't want to.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV413.jpg)

Many thanks to Ol for allowing me kind access to his copies of the Campaign Packs for this update.

[/spoiler]

You know the drill... http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49992;topicseen#msg49992 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg49992;topicseen#msg49992)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 15, 2012, 09:36:03 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 15th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

A new week another Monday and you should be going down to play a game at the OG Club tonight. If not why not, organise one immediately! Oh ok it can wait until after you've looked at today's Special Character but then...

[spoiler]
15th December: Boris Todbringer, Elector Count of Middenland

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV234.jpg)

Name: Boris Todbringer, Elector Count of Middenland

Original Points Cost: 145 points (including magic items) in Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition, 278 points in Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos.

Background: Boris Todbringer has been Elector Count of Middenland for many years, fighting the naughty Beastmen who live in the Drakweld forest. He lost his eye to Khazrak the Beastlord, also taking one of his in a fight sponsored by Monocle-Savers the one-eyed Opticians. He also killed Khazrak's beloved hound Redmaw. He originally opposed Karl Franz's election as Emperor but has proved himself to be a trusted lieutenant though still hasn't made Karl's Christmas card list.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition. Model released in White Dwarf 184 (April 1995)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV228.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV214.jpg)

Being cool back in 1995 White Dwarf didn't actually bother with a photo of the finished model in this issue! You had to make do with flicking to the very back for this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV219.jpg)

How times have changed. For the better!

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV230.jpg)

Special Rules: No specific special rules originally, he has a Runefang like all Elector Counts and the special item Talisman of Ulric originally this restored a single lost wound to him every turn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV225.jpg)

In Storm of Chaos the Talisman of Ulric restored all lost wounds every turn (as long as he wasn't dead) and gave him Magic Resistance (1) and Immunity to Psychology. Additionally in Storm of Chaos he allowed one core unit to take a magic banner.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV235.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: One of the seemingly billion Empire Elector Count special characters that were all available when half my Orc special characters didn't have a model. Empire favouritism!

Person most Reminds me of: The one and only Boris Johnson, a Boris in power who is just about tolerated by the ruler of the country. Though that does make Khazrak Ken Livingstone – which I think could work.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules seem reasonably fair, the Talisman is a little nasty for a general but seems appropriately expensive. Modelling wise sadly he's not available, though there's enough kits for making Empire characters you should be fine. A simple eye patch made of green stuff should finish him off.

[/spoiler]

Remember another character from The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 is just a click away – this click in fact: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50010;topicseen#msg50010 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50010;topicseen#msg50010)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2012, 09:57:54 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 16th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

I've run out of things to say in these stupid introductions. Here's a character:

[spoiler]
16th December: Ungrim Ironfist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV247.jpg)

Name: Ungrim Ironfist, Slayer King of Kadrin

Original Points Cost: 425 points

Background: Ungrim Ironfist is the current Slayer King inheriting both ruler ship of Karak Kadrin and his Slayer Oath plus a haircut that would even make Pat Sharp feel embarrassed. He also runs the Shrine of Slayers – which meets on Thursday to play Bridge. After destroying the Orcs at the Battle of Broken Leg Gulley, Thorgrim Grudgebearer presented him with a Dwarf Armoury gift voucher which Ungrim exchanged for the Dragon Cloak. He fathered Garagrim Ironfist who decided to save his kin by completing the Slayer Oath before Ungrim died and passed his ruler ship to him.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 4th Edition. Model released in White Dwarf 165 (September 1993)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV249.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV237.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV260.jpg)

Special Rules: Ungrim has a mix of Slayer rules his is immune to psychology, except hatred of Orcs & Goblins, he cannot be broken in hand-to-hand combat (though he will if with a breakable unit), his Strength is increased to be at least equal to his target's toughness. He has a selection of runic items which are all made with standard runes giving him the following: Causes D6 Wounds; enemy lose 1 Attack; +1 Toughness; 4+ Armour Save; rebounds wounds on a 4+; immune to fire; may re-roll one roll a game – phew!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV257.jpg)

In Storm of Magic his wounds are retweaked to give him +1 Wound instead of Toughness, but otherwise they are unchanged.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV263.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I love this character, sadly I seem to have lost my model of him – he needs to come back. He lead my Dwarfs in many ferocious attacks where they all died – but he's a Slayer so technically I won!

Person most Reminds me of: Me at university – go who let me near hair dye!!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Easy peasy! The rules in Storm of Chaos still use rules/runes from the current Dwarf book (I say current, I certainly don't mean new), and the model is still available. I may have nearly clicked on the Buy button!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV364.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Remember another character from The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 is just a click away – this click in fact: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50018;topicseen#msg50018 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50018;topicseen#msg50018)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 17, 2012, 09:06:07 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 17th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

A new week an old character such is the disparity of life, here's Day 17:

[spoiler]
17th December: Harry the Hammer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV272.jpg)

Name: Harry the Hammer

Original Points Cost: 365 points

Background: Harry the Hammer or Harald Hammerstorm, was friends with Sandy Screwdriver, Percy Pliers and Daisy Drill. Together they lead their warband across the Chaos Wastes until they played a game of Warhammer Quest and found a buried Undead city. Harry spent all day and night smashing apart Skeletons and enjoyed it!

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 340 (April 2008), though he also appeared on the cover of Warhammer – 1st Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV269.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV276.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 340 (April 2008)

Special Rules: Harry is Unbreakable and has Hatred and Killing Blow against Undead (traits he passes onto any unit he joins). Harry causes Terror in Undead, and his unit causes Fear in Undead (even though they are immune to psychology!). The Undead need to pass terror test, leadership tests to charge Harry, and if outnumbered and lose the combat will break and flee from Harry (they automatically rally next turn). In addition Harry has The Hammer of Harry – inflicts D6 wounds with no armour save, against Undead, Daemons and Forest Spirits Harry can re-roll all failed to wound rolls.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV265.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Mainly buying him on Warhammer's 25th Birthday only to find my kit had no head. Though Games Workshop replaced my model and gave me 10 White Lions as compensation – excellent customer service, so there!

Person most Reminds me of: Isn't he a character from Bob the Builder.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: To be honest he's only useful against Undead, as you may have guessed!!! But as long as you use the 8th toned down rules for Fear and Terror it should work, though it does mean you don't get fleeing Skeletons any more. Insert sad face. Model wise I've got Harry the Hammer (and 10 White Lions) so I'm fine!!

[/spoiler]

Another Special Character this way: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50031;topicseen#msg50031 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50031;topicseen#msg50031)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 18, 2012, 08:27:00 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 18th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

If you haven't got the idea by now what have you been doing? Here's another Special Character forgotten about, lost to the annals of time. Do you remember them?:

[spoiler]
18th December: Liandra Athinol

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV284.jpg)

Name: Liandra Athinol

Original Points Cost: 575 points

Background: Liandra Athinol was the last daughter of the Athinol line who was roused to anger when her father and brother were killed in The War of the Beard, the terrible battle over sponsorship money for Movember. Filled with anger she mounted (not in a rude way) the noble dragon Borgash and went to battle defending the Phoenix King. Like all flying models in 8th edition Borgash was killed by a Dwarf Bolt Thrower leaving Athinol to be cut apart by Dwarfen infantry.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 267 (March 2002), she appeared as a special character in a three part set of rules allowing players to recreate the War of the Beard with scenarios, special characters and army lists.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV280.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV282.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 267 (March 2002).

Special Rules: Liandra is a level 1 mage who always uses Fire Magic, she carries two magic items The Shield of Ithinar enemy models suffer a -1 to hit Liandra, and she gains a 5+ Save. The Signet of Athinol all magic, missile and hand-to-hand attacks against Liandra have a -2 Strength penalty.

My Memories of the Character: Anyone who remembers this character deserves a medal, not a clue!!

Person most Reminds me of: Bambi, her family were slain – though she didn't ride a dragon and fight Dwarfs, she befriended a skunk.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Liandra's rules are relatively simple (ignoring the fact she's a magic user with armour!), the -2 Strength penalty is pretty tasty. Model-wise the conversion shown is Dragon Prince legs, Dark Elf crossbowman torso (for a more feminine body), right arm and lance Dragon Prince, left arm Silver Helm and head Shadow Warrior. Green stuff has been used to make a scarf to cover her face. She rides Imrik's Dragon. Most of these parts are still available, bar the Dragon Princes which don't provide such good legs now (as they are moulded on the horse) so you may want to use either Silver Helms or the High Elf Prince plastic kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV365.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Roll up, roll up for another special character. Click here! http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50054;topicseen#msg50054 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50054;topicseen#msg50054)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2012, 09:16:44 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 19th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Who will it be today? Who will you open up in the Special Character Calendar? Will it be a much loved character? A often fought against rival character? Or someone you don't remember at all.

Time to find out!

[spoiler]
19th December: Oglok the 'Orrible

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV292.jpg)

Name: Oglok the 'Orrible

Original Points Cost: 90 points (+8 points if mounted on a war boar)

Background: Oglok the 'Orrible lived with his tribe in that wild place twinned with Croydon – the Badlands. His tribe was defeated by Morglum Necksnapper in a brutal game of paper, scissors, stone. Impressed by Morglum's ability to make the scissor symbol despite having typical dysfunctional Orcy hands Oglok joined Morglum leading his fierce pack of Boar Boyz against the Dwarfs of Karak Azul and a group of Bretonnians stupid enough to fight at the Battle of Death Pass – I mean the clues in the name guys, engage them at the Battle of Lovely Custard or the Battle of Long Life and Good Health!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins - 4th Edition, no model ever made.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV287.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins - 4th Edition

Special Rules: None, though Oglok had an improved set of statistics with increased Weapon Skill, Attacks and Leadership over a standard Orc Big Boss.

My Memories of the Character: Whenever I designed classic Orc & Goblin armies I'd flick through the back pages of this book wondering when Oglok (and Gorbad Ironclaw) would get a model. Gorbad clearly slept with one of the Citadel designers, Oglok did not.

Person most Reminds me of: The Stig, I always wondered what he looked like too!.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Pretty straight forward really looking at magic item costs the bonuses for his improved statistics cost about 30 points(ish), so just add that to the basic cost of an Orc Big Boss. I think in the spirit of the new rules, he'd represent an upgrade to an Orc Boar Boyz unit rather than an independent character. Given the limited description in his background, any mounted Orc from the plastic Boss kit would work well. Though I'd want to mount him on one of the newer Boars from the Boar Boyz kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV366.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More special characters tomorrow, until then there's a classic over here: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50086;topicseen#msg50086 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50086;topicseen#msg50086)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 20, 2012, 09:20:22 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 20th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Tomorrow could be your last day at work before Christmas? If so horray!! Or if you were inappropriate at the Christmas party it could be your last day at work! Either way Day 20 will improve your mood:

[spoiler]
20thDecember: Ardrath

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV414.jpg)

Name: Ardath

Original Points Cost: 199 points

Background: Ardath lived in the former High Elf colonies on the Old World, before holidaying at home became cool for High Elves. His own colony was destroyed in The War of the Beard when the Dwarfs besieged it, he has now settled in Tor Eldroth and will defend it against the Dwarfs at all costs, unless they interrupt his After Eight Mint supply (yes I know I am writing rubbish, I can't be stopped!)

Original Appearance: The Grudge of Drong Campaign Pack, no model released.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV415.jpg)

Whilst there was a wave of High Elf character models released in White Dwarf 205 (January 1996), to support the Grudge of Drong campaign pack Ardath was sadly not amongst them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV385.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV381.jpg)

Trust me to pick the character with no model!!

Last Appearance: Grudge of Drong Campaign Pack

Special Rules: Ardath hates all Dwarfs, additionally he has the Talisman of Hoeth which makes him a Level 2 Wizard using Battle Magic – seriously did anyone like that deck?!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV416.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: High Elves were one of the first armies to get a revamp in 5th edition, and at the time I remember being annoyed that existing models I had were being replaced by new ones – such as the Silver Helms at the time. I soon calmed down and embraced the new painting opportunities and ways to spend money.

Person most Reminds me of: The Borrowers nemesis, I don't know who that was, I never read it, but they probably hated small people to.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules are so pathetic they require no work from me. In fact The Talisman of Hoeth currently exists though you'll have to nick it off Eltharion But if you suggest bringing back Battle Magic I will slap you. Model wise the plastic High Elf kit is your friend, as it is so many cases. Though I have limited friends so you may wish to set your judgements higher.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV417.jpg)

Many thanks to Ol for allowing me kind access to his copies of the Campaign Packs for this update.

[/spoiler]

There's no other characters today. None. Haha fooled you, there is. Head over to The Official OG Games Advent Calendar 2012 edition:
http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50112;topicseen#msg50112 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50112;topicseen#msg50112)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 21, 2012, 08:06:30 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 21st December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

With only one weekend to go until Christmas you probably have better things to do, but just in case here's the 21st door on our Advent Calendar:

[spoiler]
21st December: Sir Amalric of Gaudaron

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV309.jpg)

Name: Sir Amalric of Gaudaron

Original Points Cost: 160 points

Background: Amalric grew up in Carcassone and at early age demonstrated a spectacular ability to kill the Undead, winning the fifth series of Bretonnia's Got Talent with his abilities. After being awarded status of Knight of the Realm, he went on a Grail quest defeating many evils including Beastlord Shadeflench, Goblin raiders and a stealthy pack of Parking Wardens. Eventually he would return to fight the Undead once more.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 310 (October 2005), Sir Amalric of Gaudaron is featured as a special character in a three part scenario entitled "Return of the Lichemaster".

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV296.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV299.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 310 (October 2005)

Special Rules: Amalric has the Grail Virtue and the Virtue of Stoicism from Warhammer Armies:  Bretonnia. He has the Icon of the Lady special rule giving him a 5+ Ward Save and Magic Resistance (1), he also Bane of the Undead – at the start of any combat phase all Undead units suffer D6 wounds with no armour save distributed as shooting and counting towards combat resolution.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV312.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Like you I had no idea he existed until I wrote this!

Person most Reminds me of: The only person who destroys the bones of the Undead this fast is Bonebreaker Kevin who shattered every bone in my body at primary school in a brutal and entirely fictional campaign of violence.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: With no update to Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia since this article was written he transfers across well, though he is a complete waste of points fighting against non-Undead armies. He has no distinguishing characteristics in terms of modelling so any Bretonnian Knight would do, the one shown in the White Dwarf is a combination of parts from the Knights of the Realm and Men-at-Arms sprues.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV367.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More here. You knew that didn't you?: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50144;topicseen#msg50144 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50144;topicseen#msg50144)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 22, 2012, 09:54:50 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 22nd December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

The big day is almost upon us your relatives are clawing at the door, the turkey needs stuffing and the dog's just urinated at the foot of the Christmas Tree. Take a moment out and enjoy the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar.

Hmm. Here's Day 22:

[spoiler]
22nd December: The Red Duke

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV401.jpg)

Name: The Red Duke

Original Points Cost: 460 points

Background: The Red Duke is the great, great ancestor of the Red Devil before the plane was invented. He was a formidable Knight of Bretonnia, loyal and dependable. However during the Crusades in Araby he failed to follow the guide book's advice, drinking the water from the hotel. He succumbed to the curse of Vampirism. He now leads his Undead horde against his homeland attacking the Kingdom of Aquitine, because it sounds a bit like Aqua – and after the Vampirism thing he's not a fan of water type things.

Original Appearance: Circle of Blood Campaign Pack, model released White Dwarf 211 (July 1996)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV418.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV405.jpg)

Last Appearance: Circle of Blood Campaign Pack, though I believe his background is mentioned in Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 6th Edition, probably.

Special Rules: The Red Duke follows all the usual rules for a Vampire, in addition he is armed with The Armour of Blood, which gives him a usual 5+ Armour Save for heavy armour, but does not inhibit his ability to cast spells. He wields The Blade of Leaping Gold giving him +3 Attacks.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV419.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: None, never had this Campaign Pack – clearly I had a deprived childhood.

Person most Reminds me of: Who made up this stupid category, I have no idea!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: To be honest this chap doesn't have very many special rules to worry about, I'm pretty sure Vampires can now wear magic armour anyway. The Blade of Leaping Gold lives on in Warhammer Armies: High Elves so that's not a problem. I wonder if it might be worth adding some Knightly Virtues from the Bretonnian army book just to emphasise his Bretonnian character and make him a bit different? Due to the odd order these advent calendar articles are written in, I Initially looked at the Games Workshop website, before researching the old model and selected this Vampire Lord:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV420.jpg)

I was going to say it looks quite a good match for the artwork, plus if you added a Bretonnian shield, and heraldry, maybe even replace his head for a Knight's helmet, you could tie him in nicely to the theme. It's only now as I add all the pictures in that I realise that is the original model intended for The Red Baron. I'm just too keen that's always been my problem.

Many thanks to Ol for allowing me kind access to his copies of the Campaign Packs for this update.

[/spoiler]

In a few days time I will have stopped nagging you about this. In the meantime head here for a classic character: http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50160;topicseen#msg50160 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50160;topicseen#msg50160)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 23, 2012, 08:52:27 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 23rd December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

The Turkey is stuffed, Santa is loading his sleigh and Rudolph is still trying to collect money for Comic Relief – does he never give it a rest pushy reindeer! All that means is there's only 2 doors left!

[spoiler]
December 23rd: Crone Hellebron

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV318.jpg)

Name: Crone Hellebron, The Hag Queen

Original Points Cost: 350 points

Background: Crone Hellebron is the leader of the Cult of Khaine, and rules over the City of Har Garneth. She is the most of all the Hag Queens bar Morathi. She is so old that the rejuvenating powers of bathing in sacrifice's blood has limited effect on her. Like most old women, she spends a long time in the bathroom, and her husband spends a long time in the Cold One Chariot outside waiting for her to finish her blood mascara.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dark Elves - 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV316.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A.

Special Rules: In addition to the basic Witch Elf/Dark Elf rules Crone wields two magic weapons The Deathsword and The Parrying Blade giving her +1 Attack, Strength 10 blows and one enemy model in base-to-base loses a single attack. She also has The Amulet of Fire, the first spell targeted at her unit each magic phase is dispelled on a 4+. All Khainite units in the army treat her as the army general for leadership tests instead of the general (if different). Plus if she is your general Witch Elves may be taken as special choices.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV322.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: None, I just opened the book and found her just now.

Person most Reminds me of: An old women, who make-up doesn't work on, and is jealous of another woman. These characteristics just don't exist in the real world, I can't think of anyone.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Rules clearly aren't a problem, but model might be as there are no other Hag Queen's available. Best bit might be to use the Hag from the Dark Elf Cauldron of Blood. Replace her chalice with another sword from one of the guards, for added effect you could paint her with aged skin – though she usually is most regenerated at the time of battle.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV368.jpg)

[/spoiler]

One more day to go, don't cry there's another Forgotten Character at the Official OG Gamers Advent Calendar 2012 head there now! http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50177;topicseen#msg50177 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50177;topicseen#msg50177)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 24, 2012, 08:29:55 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 24th December 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

This is it, the final Day of the third annual Forgotten Special Advent Calendar – please don't make me do a fourth!! Instead enjoy Day 24:

[spoiler]
24th December: The White Dwarf

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV361.jpg)

Name: Grombrindal, The White Dwarf

Original Points Cost: 390 points

Background: Grombrindal turns up unannounced when least expected, awarding Gotcha trophies to unsuspecting celebrities before gunging them. He appears when Dwarfs are most threatened, many people claim he is Snorri Whitebeard the only Dwarf High King to earn the respect of the High Elves who let him drink from their Shakeaway fountain.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 200 (August 1996)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV330.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV342.jpg)

Last Appearance: He appeared in White Dwarf 300 (though I don't have that!), and finally in White Dwarf 330 born aloft by Bugman and Gotrek famous Dwarfs.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV349.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV351.jpg)

Though since then he appears to have found a sodding fancy dress box turning up every year in a ridiculous costume – this year he's a film director.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV326.jpg)

Special Rules: He is immune to psychology (except hatred of Orcs & Goblins) he cannot be broken in combat, and will hold even if his unit breaks. The White Dwarf starts the game hidden in a unit and can be revealed at any time – if the unit flees The White Dwarf reveals himself and the unit holds, if the unit is wiped out The White Dwarf remains revealing himself. He has the following magic items Rune Crown of Zhufbar, Armour of Grimril Scale, Rune Axe of Grimnir and Rune Cloak of Valaya. Sadly I lost the cards for these items from that White Dwarf so can't tell you what they do.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV346.jpg)

I also can't tell you his rules in White Dwarf 300 as I don't had this magazine. In White Dwarf 330 he costs 1,000 points and has the following ridiculously complicated set of rules: Bugman adds 4 Strength 5 Attacks at Initiative 4 to Grombrindal's profile, Gotrek adds 4 Attacks at Initiative 5 that automatically wound doing D3 wounds – or D6  to Daemons and Dragons; he and any unit he accompanies are Unbreakable; he must roll a D6 at the beginning of each turn (1-2 may not move but recovers all wounds, 3-4 acts normally, 5-6 charges 12" at nearest enemy); any fleeing unit within 12" automatically rallies at the start of the turn; has a 1+ Armour Save and a 4+ Ward Save; Magic Resistance (3), Grombrindal's Attacks are Strength 6 he may re-roll all failed rolls to hit and wound and the enemy must re-roll all successful armour saves; all ranged attacks including magic have their Strength halved; no spells or magic items that nullify magic items work on Grombrindal. And I'm off for a lie down.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV354.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Very exciting I got him form White Dwarf 200 and he popped out of every Dwarf unit he could!!

Person most Reminds me of: White bearded man who conceals his identity – it's Father Christmas, I wonder what he will bring me tonight?!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: You could use the above rules from White Dwarf 330 and steal the limited edition model of an 8 year old. However if you field The White Dwarf no one will play against you, especially the 8 year old.

[/spoiler]

That really is it! Of course there is one more character here on the Official OG Games 2012 Advent Calendar:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50182;topicseen#msg50182 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3314.msg50182;topicseen#msg50182)

Thank you so much for reading, commenting and retweeting over the last 24 days. I hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane, and had a little tear in the eye for those abandoned Special Characters. For those of you missing us already, don't worry the regular Procrastination by Numbers blog will return in January – where I promise I will paint something!! If you're new follower, then I hope you will stick with us for 2013!

All that remains is for myself and the entire Procrastination by Numbers team to wish you and your families a Merry Christmas and a Happy Hobby-filled New Year.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1694.jpg)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on December 24, 2012, 03:33:51 pm
Highly appropriate character for the last day there Matt, cheers for putting the effort in and giving us a daily dose of anticipation/amusment in the run up to the big day.

Probably a good opportunity to also wish all OGers a Merry Xmas and catch everyone in the New Year.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 24, 2012, 06:31:28 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on December 24, 2012, 03:33:51 pm
Highly appropriate character for the last day there Matt, cheers for putting the effort in and giving us a daily dose of anticipation/amusment in the run up to the big day.

You are very welcome, glad you've enjoyed! Merry Christmas yourself.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 07, 2013, 08:41:57 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 93 – Resolving to be Better Monday 7th January 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

93.1 – Meet the Team

It's a brand new year, but it's the same old team who make Procrastination by Numbers, let's see how 2013 has treated them:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

Matty has seen in the New Year in style, with a pair of slippers and a cup of Horlicks! He's just about recovered from being Mr Shakey Shakey's Best Man for a Christmas wedding. Always the Best Man never the Groom.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

The resident six-year old has got annoyed with all her Christmas presents already, none of them being a Fisher Price Tunnel Kit to allow her to escape her captivity.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey is on honeymoon after his wedding, apparently he had an amazing Best Man who did a brilliant speech. COUGH COUGH!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is getting ready to flower for 2013 and wishes you a Happy New Year full of good fertiliser and the like.

93.2 – Happy New Year

The Procrastination by Numbers team would like to take this opportunity to officially be the last people to wish you a Happy New Year, and a successful 2013. We'd also like to thank you for all your support and continued readership over 2012. We've just broken through the colossal 30,000 views mark so thank you so much for that!

For those of you new to us, who enjoyed The Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar 2012 we hope you will continue to enjoy the madness that is Procrastination by Numbers on a regular basis!

93.3 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 38

In life there are sometimes disappointments, as I constantly remind my parents. And currently my Ultramarines are one of those. Before Christmas they looked like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1714.jpg)

And now after Christmas they looked like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1714.jpg)

Spot the difference!!

Found it?

No you're right there isn't one.

But... on the plus side because of the jam-packed festive season (well some of you may have had social lives and been busy), we've all been given a free month to get up to speed. So I have until the end of January to finish Months 1 & 2. Which I am sure we can do... insert concerned face here! No I will, have faith people!

93.4 – 2012 New Year Resolutions Updated

With the annual advancing of the digits in the calendar it means it's time to look at what we've achieved in the past 12 months. No, not on social and work based level that would be deeply depressing, but of course on a hobby level – hobby might not be important but we can cling on to it to give our lives false meaning!

So back in Update 34 (yes Update 34 – practically prehistoric!), way back in January 2012 – I set myself 10 hobby based challenges to complete by now January 2013. I know what you're thinking, what a brilliant idea, that can't be yours? Well you'd be right, you can see everyone else's 2012 resolutions and how they got on here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2751.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=2751.0)

Mine aren't on that thread because... well frankly I'm special, and I need to hold onto any crap I come up with to fill up the mindless pages of this blog.

Enough of the prattle time to find out how I got on with my resolutions, brace yourself for disappointment:

Resolution 1: To Paint all the Contents of Dreadfleet

Back in January 2012 I said: "By the end of 2012 I want a full finished set of warships and accessories. With any further supplement to the game looking less likely than the national press being happy with the organisation of the 2012 Olympics, I can finish Dreadfleet and finish it good."

Well god dam it people I've only gone and done it!! It took until Boxing Day but the entire contents of the box is finished, even the ruler! Yes I was the person who did that.

Here's a quick snap of the last bits and pieces:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1736_zps231c4b29.jpg)

I'll talk fully about Dreadfleet and all the bits I've done at a later date, save waffling on too much here. But let's just say big tick for me!!

Resolution 2: To Paint at Least Five Pieces of Terrain

Back in January 2012 I said: "Come on Matty get your own personal terrain collection topped up. Five pieces isn't much, so fingers cross a nice Skullvane Manse may be gracing my own battlefield by 2013 (technically I don't have a battlefield either, so need to work on that)."

Well it turns out five pieces is too much! I could count the eleven pieces of Dreadfleet terrain I've painted up:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1218.jpg)

But that seems a little bit cheating, as that wasn't my intention.

I did get two pieces of terrain painted up, the Temple of Skulls:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1437.jpg)

And I painted up the Shakeaway Fountain for the club:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN222.jpg)

And I did sort myself out with one of those screw up Games Workshop mats which I think are excellent.

So sadly this is a fail, but not an utter fail 40% complete is something.

Resolution 3: To Enter a Non-Doubles Waaagh!

Back in January 2012 I said: "I enjoy doubles a lot, my favourite type of Warhammer campaign and have done a couple of doubles Waaagh's this year, but I reckon it's about time I went single player at least to see if I can win that wooden spoon. Also apparently a lot of tournaments give away prizes for last place, so I could have a future, or even a collection of spoons!"

Yeah... well... err... yeah. I failed, utterly failed. Sorry. I kept meaning too, but always seemed to be busy when they were scheduled. My intention had been to enter 2013's first Waaagh! to at least offset this. But sadly I am working that weekend!! And so it begins...

Resolution 4: To Win at least Five Games of Warhammer this Year

Back in January 2012 I said: "I'm not setting my aims high, I realise last year's five games in a row was complete fluke but we'll see what 2012 brings. Currently this year I've played two and lost two."

Hands up I didn't keep track of my gaming record, however I'm pretty sure I played enough games to win five. In fact I can think of four off the top of my head I have won, without engaging my neural matter. Note to self: If you make this resolution again, record your progress.

Resolution 5: To Carry on Blogging

Back in January 2012 I said: "Sorry there's going to be more of this tosh to come, please read it, else my purpose in life will be gone."

Well I'm still writing this, so I guess I passed. Ok there was a wibble around the summer, but hopefully you still love me and my procrastination!

Resolution 6: To Finish the High Elves

Back in January 2012 I said: "This really is achievable this year, I now have one of every unit bar Silver Helms, White Lions and a Tiranoc Chariot painted up, so those a few character and special character options and ok finish that massive army box set and we'll be there."

And tickety-f***ing-tick! This is done! Wooo Hooo Hooo Hooo!! Whoop!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN567.jpg)

Yep the best part of 10,000 points of High Elves all done and dusted, well dusty now they sit on my shelves! There's at least one of every unit, most characters (bar a few obscure combinations), and all the special characters except Eltharion (though I do have a Prince on Griffon for such eventualities). I may at some point return to the High Elves for new releases, character models etc. Hoping that one day Imirk and Eltharion may come out in Finecast making them a lot easier to assemble! But other than that I am Elfed out for now!

Resolution 7: To Finish the Beastmen

Back in January 2012 I said: " This is probably even more achievable than the High Elves only need to add a Ghorgon and Cygor – the new kit will do just fine for those, plus a Doombull and make up my Razagor Chariot (if I can face it). No units just monsters, and they will be done."

Despite promises this would be easier than the High Elves, this wasn't quite so convincing though I think I can award myself a partial tick if nothing else. Despite a Christmas painting session I didn't quite make these. However I did finish everything listed above this weekend (so only 6 days late), the one details is I need to base and assemble my Razorgor Chariot. So not bad, plus I did add a few extra bits to that above list including some Minotaurs and a Bray-Shaman.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1735_zpscecb3c0e.jpg)

Generally the Beastmen do need a bit of a tidy and repair. My Tuskgor Chariots need some serious MOTs and quite a few metal Gor lay chipped and without shields. But I am hoping I can give these a tidy and do a final army shot soon. But bar tidying and basing the Chariot these are done. Though of course I may revisit for new releases and those special characters I've missed.

Don't worry Beastmen fans I do intend to show off some nicer pictures of these new Beastmen soon (don't want to bore you with this update!!).

Resolution 8: To Buy No More than I Paint

Back in January 2012 I said: "This is likely to be trickier for the simple reason, bar the High Elf army and Dreadfleet I've painted up most of my backlog of miniatures this year. But in fairness just painting what I will buy will sort this plan out."

This actually went really well I didn't buy a great deal other than Warhammer 40,000 and the High Elves and Beastmen needed to finish their respective armies. And as I painted all the High Elves, Beastmen and Dreadfleet I won!! Broadly speaking I painted twice as much as I bought. I usually count how much I've painted/bought using the old 7th edition Unit Strength works quite well to weight cavalry and monsters appropriately compared to infantry. Obviously I had to use a bit of artistic licence to assign values to things like terrain and Dreadfleet models, but it comes out that I painted 304 unit strength worth of models compared to 157 bought. It's a little down on 2011 when I painted 315 unit strength worth – but I bought a hell a lot more in 2011 – 389 unit strength worth! Gulp!!!!

Resolution 9: To Battle Mr Shakey Shakey

Back in January 2012 I said: "Veteran readers may remember Mr Shakey Shakey my non-imaginary friend who I often mention on this blog, well we both rejoined Warhammer at the same time but are yet to play a single battle. In fairness to me, Mr Shakey Shakey's poor painting speed hasn't helped but this year we must have a battle."

To be honest when I suggested this, I thought it might be unlikely. But no, I have managed to battle Mr Shakey Shakey a number of times now:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1610.jpg)

And hopefully when he comes back from honeymoon his wife will still let me come round and play!

Resolution 10: To Sort Out My Life

Back in January 2012 I said: "Yeah this might be more complex, finding myself a loved one, learning to drive, making sure I have a career and a purpose in life all need to be done. In fairness if I do achieve this I may not have time for the previous nine resolutions but there you go."

You are actually asking about this?! Really?! Hush yourself and leave the room.

Conclusion

Well overall I don't think I did too bad. I completed 6 of these fully, and the Beastmen probably could be counted as a 7th complete if we were felling generous. The only complete fails were terrain – which I did do some of, turning up to a Waaagh! (I know, I know, that would have been easy!), and the sorting my life out – but that was never going to happen. So I think I can claim a reasonable successful 2012.

93.5 – 2013 New Year Resolutions Setting

So with 2012 dealt with, we need to start looking at 2013, and what my hobby resolutions are going to be. You probably shouldn't read anything into the smaller number of resolutions this year, just less things springing to mind!

And I should say as before, other less annoying people have posted their resolutions here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3340.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3340.0)

2013 Resolution 1: To Paint at Least Five Pieces of Terrain

Yeah this one is lifted from last year, but I am determined to do it. I enjoyed painting the Temple of the Skulls and actually it was quite quick with drybrushing. So this year we will do it! I've got myself some forests kicking around and was lucky enough to pick up Dreadstone Blight for Christmas plus I have some enthusiasm for it, which always helps. Don't want to go too building crazy as a good Warhammer battlefield shouldn't be too built up. We need forests and rocks and hills too! But with Dreadfleet done, this should be easy to get done. He says!

2013 Resolution 2: To Enter a Non-Doubles Waaagh!

Again lifted from last year, but surely I can do this. I will, I promise!!

2013 Resolution 3: To Carry on Blogging

Haha there's no escape people, you will have to keep reading for ever. Mooo hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

2013 Resolution 4: To Buy No More than I Paint

Another 2012 Resolution mercilessly lifted, but in fairness I achieved this one! I am more confident about this, I have quite a few bits kicking around that need doing. And to add to this I need to make sure that the odd bits and pieces I pick up get painted – Chaos Lord on Manticore I am looking at you. No more odd things hogging the "To be painted shelf".

2013 Resolution 5: Complete The Tale of Gamers – Ultramarines

Whilst it may not seem it due to me not completing anything yet, I am really enjoying painting my Ultramarines and with the High Elves, Beastmen and Dreadfleet out of the way momentum should gather.

2013 Resolution 6: Learn to Play Warhammer 40,000

Yeah, yeah, I should learn to play Warhammer first. Shut up! I will master this game. Probably should buy the rules at some point.

2013 Resolution 7: Revisit my Warriors of Chaos

My Warriors of Chaos are a little unloved of recent years, but are pretty much done. My Tzeentch only horde has a few gaps I'd like to fill – including my lovely new Warshrine and Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount. The Tzeentch only restriction is just about weathering the temptation of the Skullcrushers of Khorne – we will see how that goes with the rumoured new Warhammer Army book. Unlike with the High Elves and Beastmen I probably won't go for every entry in the army book, due to my loyal deviation to Tzeentch. But some new bits would be nice.

2013 Resolution 8: Finish my 6th Edition Dwarfs

My Dwarf army hasn't popped out of its storage boxes for a very long time, but I did love it. At the time it got packed away I was very close to having a model for every entry in the current Dwarf army book, so I think I can set that as a task. I only need: A Gyrocopter, Anvil of Doom and a Lord/Thane on Shieldbearers. Plus I might add some Special Characters – I do enjoy painting the odd Special Character. So that's not too bad, I think I can do it.

There's my 8 Resolutions, I've left the one about winning games and sorting my life out as both seem deeply unachievable!! I'll rely on you dear reader to harass me into completing these tasks!!

93.6 – Getting In Touch

Remember as always I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of the following:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where I can bore you 24-7, what more could you want.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 15, 2013, 08:49:34 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 94 – High Seas and Hats Tuesday 15th January 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

94.1 – Meet the Team

With New Year's Resolutions already crumbling around them, let's meet the team:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been asked to take part in the ITV show "Splash!" becoming the show's third most recognisable celebrity. He is busy ironing his Speedos as we speak.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been mainly upset that her business plan has failed to impress the Department for Transport: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20959906 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-20959906)

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week still no word from Mr Shakey Shakey from his honeymoon. Dam him and his happiness!

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has been hoping that Matty the Painter doesn't forget his New Year's Resolution to regularly water her.

94.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 45

Before you chastise me for the fact that it's Day 45 of this batch, I would like you to please remember that we were given January as a catch-up extension month to December to give us (I mean "me") a chance to get back on track. So I'm not quite the liability you think I am!

And Praise the Lord; open up your offerings to the Heavens because in shock miracle news, I have made progress on the Ultramarines! Ta daaahhhh! I feel that this statement really should be accompanied by glittery confetti falling from the sky and the detonation of some high-grade indoor fireworks. Sadly it's difficult to get that across in print so I'll just have to settle for "Woo".

So before Christmas I managed to get my test Ultramarine pretty much sorted, here he is for reference:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1651.jpg)

The only thing this chap was missing (bar some serious de-glossing, long/weird story – don't ask) was the leather on his bolter strap, and pouch (just out of shot behind his right arm), and his basing. This was mainly due to me not having the right paints.

Since then I've bought the rest of the Tactical Squad and the Terminators up to the same standard.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1795.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1791.jpg)

I'm pretty pleased with how they're looking, and despite my tardiness, how quick they are to paint too. Particularly liking the Terminators' helmets, which I think have come out really well.

I've put in my order with the excellent OG Games (Heard of them? They're very good. Very friendly chap, so long as you don't pass all your armour saves against him – that makes him a bit narky!) for the remaining colours I need to finish the leather, and a few other details like little bits of wreath and cloth.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1804.jpg)

I also think I've worked out what I'm going to do with my basing, veteran readers of this blog with too little time on the hands (to be distinguished from veteran writers of this blog with too little time on the hands), will probably remember that I said I wanted my basing to look like an alien landscape, using this picture of the Martian landscape as reference:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1261.jpg)

However I wasn't sure how to achieve it. I started off by browsing the shelves of Games Workshop comparing my photo with their paints to decide what colour looked a good match for what I was trying to achieve. This is really best done in the shop, it's quite difficult to get a good match browsing the web, as it's very much dependent on your computer screen settings.

After a healthy browse I realised that Skrag Brown was the colour I was looking for...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1807.jpg)

As luck would have it Skrag Brown was a colour I needed for my leather anyway - £2.30 saved! But how would be best to base and highlight this main colour? Well luck was in abandon, as I was flicking through November 2012's White Dwarf:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1811.jpg)

When I discovered this guide in Paint Splatter used to paint the ground for one of their display battlefields:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1814.jpg)

Whilst this wasn't exactly the colour scheme I was going for, it was pretty close, so I'm going to use it as a starting point for my basing. Certainly Mournfang Brown looks like the perfect base colour to use:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1818.jpg)

So that's been added to my OG Games shopping basket.

Some people may question the wisdom of using Painting Guides, and whether it takes the imagination and creativity out of painting and coming up with your colour schemes. Well I don't think so. Most of my armies have started with some reference guides to help out, and whilst you may easily be able to match the main layer colour you want a piece of your model to be (as in the Skrag Brown case above), it can be tricky working out which base, highlight or wash would accompany it. Additionally I find it very helpful to use guides for 'natural' objects you want to replicate – horses, rocks, skin, ocean, feathers etc. As whilst the colour of Power Armour is up to your preference, painting horses in Changeling Pink will probably look a bit odd.

For the Ultramarines I've used a selection of painting guides, I used the Ultramarine Painting Guide from the Games Workshop section of the iBook Store:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1255.jpg)

That said I've felt free to use it as a starting point, rather than a doctrine, replacing the blues with brighter shades for my own personal happiness and well-being, as you will have seen in Update 89.

As mentioned above I'm using a section of Paint Splatter from White Dwarf November 2012 as a starting point. The leather and flesh for the skin started from the guide in The How To Paint Citadel Miniatures Guide for the Aurora Chapter Space Marines:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1633.jpg)

And I also found flicking through White Dwarf January 2013's Paint Splatter a guide for cloth for Dark Angels, that I think may work for some of the cloth on the Ultramarines, particularly the lower level characters – which don't justify having too much red fabric.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1821.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1823.jpg)

I have to say I think Paint Splatter is brilliant in White Dwarf, as regardless of the armies being featured there's a good chance there may be something useful you can take away. Even if you then go on to adapt it yourself. Personally I think I'm going to add a little more orange into my Skrag Brown Ultramarine basing just as I'm trying to emphasis the alien landscape, and not go for a more common Warhammer terrestrial environment.

Also it can be worth having a look through guides anyway, in case you find a better way of doing something you already do. For example in the Dreadfleet painting guide that I used for the ships later on in this blog entry, their guide suggested added some green and brown drybrushing into rocks – rather than just drybrushing various shades of grey, as I'd done on my High Elves and Beastmen's rocky bases. I found it looked really nice, so has now become my standard way of doing rocks throughout my armies.

All of this is leading onto the fact that I think Painting Guides are very useful, even if you're confident with your colour schemes already. It's one of the reason I print the guides to what I paint, in the hope that you will find something useful for your projects as either inspiration for a starting paint or just for plain old copy and paste job. The other key reason being that it is really helpful for me, as I can never remember what colours I use. So this blog becomes a reference guide for my aging brain, and an exercise in spelling some of the more elaborate paint names!

With that done, all that remains to be said for the Ultramarines is that this week, fingers crossed I'll get my hands on those new paints. Plus I need to start assembling the Space Marine Captain that I also need to get painted this month.

94.3 – Space Marines and Helmets

Moving on from painting guides a glance at my progress so far will have probably revealed use of some new colours in my Ultramarines in the shape of some fleshy tones. Yep both my Tactical Squad Sergeant and his Terminator counter part have chosen not to wear their helmets.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1830.jpg)

This is quite a common thing across the worlds of Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 where characters in armies that have access to helmets choose not to wear them (obviously armies like Beastmen don't have helmets – have you tried getting a hat on over those horns, it's a nightmare you have to go to specialist shops or order them online or something). From a modelling perspective, I totally understand why you want your champions to look more heroic and I have no problem with that, or painting them. But don't you think it kind of says something about the personalities of the characters who choose to go helmetless – namely that they are t***s.

I mean look at this Swordmaster Champion...,

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1836.jpg)

...without his helmet in the ranks of helmeted Elves all sticking to the Lothern Health & Safety guidelines (or Elf & Safety Guidelines as I like to call them – sorry I couldn't resist). The rest of the unit all wearing their shiny pointy helmets, whereas front and centre of their ranks is a cocky a**ehole who thinks he won't get hit with an arrow. And he probably won't because when a stone hurled at the unit heads his way, some poor sod who has chosen to wear a helmet will push him out the way and take the hit instead.

Or take this Silver Helm...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1840.jpg)

Not only does he not wear a helmet (even when the Champion does), he sits around blowing that trumpet – he's the kind of person who'd be really bloody annoying in real life isn't he. He's both a cocky non-helmet wearer and the kind of person you'd find busking on the Underground playing Jazz and being all happy. I'd ram the horn down his throat (and that's not a euphemism).

Or how about Caradryan...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1850.jpg)

...he not only isn't wearing a helmet, he is blasé enough to carry it in his hand. I bet he's the kind of k**bstick who goes around bragging about how he has a 4+ Ward Save and so doesn't need to wear his ridiculously oversized helmet. Although in fairness he had to take a vow of silence to enter the Shrine of Asuryan, so his braggy nature is probably confined to arrogant Post-It notes left around Ulthuan.

So with that rant over, I can safely say while I like painting up these Space Marine Sergeants, they won't be on my Christmas Card list:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1830.jpg)

94.4 – Painting the Dreadfleet

Those of you who ploughed through last week's blog (Update 93) will remember that last year I just about ticked my resolution to paint the contents of the Dreadfleet box. Like all good targets, the ideal situation is to limp over the finish line just in time, which I did by finishing on Boxing Day!

Here's a selection of the new ships I've painted up most recently:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1856.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1862.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1886.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1908.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1927.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1948.jpg)

And here's the full Dreadfleet fleet (and islands and templates) in all it's glory:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2067.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1961.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1964.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1974.jpg)

For those of you excited by the old ships/terrain you can see them in Updates 51, 54, 72, 88, 89, should you be bothered. You won't be. But there we go.

I want to speak up now for much maligned Dreadfleet, now in fairness I haven't played the game yet (I am hoping to work out a way of transporting all the ships first). But I have really enjoyed painting up the ships and templates, the models are excellent, and the scale makes a really fun variation. I particularly like picking out the much smaller scale versions of Warhammer things, such as the Bolt Throwers on the High Elf ship and the Warp Lightning Cannons on the Skabrus.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2602.jpg)

Like it or loathe it Dreadfleet, it's a shame really that the project wasn't successful, as it will probably stop Games Workshop doing any similar one-off releases. Now I know much of the argument was about making limited edition releases with no further support. But having looked through a load of really old White Dwarfs recently (for the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar), I can see the argument for not wanting multiple games clogging up the release schedules and magazine. Some of the issues are a mess of Talisman, Warhammer Quest and Battlefleet Gothic supplements and supplementary rules and often Warhammer, Warhammer 40,000 and Epic (the then big three) seem completely marginalised. And of course holding lots of stock in stores is something Games Workshop has wanted to move away from. Personally I've really enjoyed the challenge of painting something a bit different, I wish it hadn't always felt like such a fight trying to make time for Dreadfleet in amongst all the High Elf, Beastmen and Ultramarine stuff I felt like a should be painting. If you do have a copy of Dreadfleet you're thinking of getting round to painting, I can thoroughly recommend the enjoyable models – there's loads of great little individual details on all the main ships. And if you're finding it difficult to fight the urge to paint more "important" models, my best tip is, if you have the opportunity to paint away from home – holiday, friends or family for example – just take the ships with you and nothing else. You won't feel guilty then at not painting something else, and you'll really get into them. I painted the Islands at Mr Shakey Shakey's house and the last batch of ships at my family's house over Christmas.

A little part of me which really enjoyed painting models at that scale is looking lustfully over the Epic and Battlefleet Gothic sections of the Games Workshop website – no, I know I mustn't. But maybe..., NO. Stop it!!!

Anyway I hope I've encouraged you to get those ships painted if you have them, and if I ever work out a way to transport them, perhaps you'll fancy a game down a the club some time. Finally today I'll leave you with the Painting Guides for those final ships. You probably won't read them, but as I said earlier you never know what gems you may find!!

All of them are based on the guide produced in White Dwarf 382...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2956.jpg)

...please note I'd accidentally left some of my old Washes and Foundation Paints at home – so I have indicated here where I mixed up a suitable replacement and what I used. Enjoy.

94.5 – Dreadfleet – Grimnir's Thunder Painting Guide

Grimnir's Thunder is a Dwarf armour plated Ironclad, armed with Cannons, Flame Cannons and Organ Guns. It also doubles as an aircraft carrier with a Drigible (air balloon) in the skies and one being prepared inside the ship. Plus there's a cool little submarine accompanying the ship – it does nothing in the game, but looks cool! I have painted the armour plating blue rather than the suggested green to match the colour scheme of my existing Dwarf army.

Grimnir's Thunder Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1771.jpg)

Sea: Regal Blue
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: 1:1 Scorched Brown/Shining Gold
Chimneys: Tin Bitz
Blue Plating: Regal Blue
Drigible: 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)


Grimnir's Thunder Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1772.jpg)

Sea: Heavily drybrush Enchanted Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Chimneys: Layer 1:1 Tin Bitz/Dwarf Bronze
Blue Plating: Wash Nuln Oil
Drigible: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)


Grimnir's Thunder Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1773.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush crests Ice Blue
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Chimneys: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Blue Plating: Layer Regal Blue
Drigible: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)


Grimnir's Thunder Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1865.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1867.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1881.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/watered down Dark Angels Green (in lieu of Tharaka Green), then paint crests watered down Skull White
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Chimneys: Highlight Mithril Silver
Blue Plating: Highlight Ultramarines Blues
Drigible: Layer 1:1 Highlight Skull White


94.6 – Dreadfleet – The Black Kraken Painting Guide

The Black Kraken is a Chaos Dwarf submarine crossed with robotic leviathan, it is armed with a drill and flailing tentacles. And accompanied by cog like the majority of the Dreadfleet.

The Black Kraken Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1774.jpg)

Sea: Regal Blue
Hull/Cog Sail: Chaos Black
Metal: Boltgun Metal
Trimming: Tin Bitz
Kraken Eye/Cog Flag: Caliban Green


The Black Kraken Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1775.jpg)

Sea: Heavily drybrush Enchanted Blue
Hull/Cog Sail: Mechanicus Standard Grey (in lieu of Adeptus Battlegrey)
Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Trimming: Highlight 1:1 Tin Bitz/Dwarf Bronze
Kraken Eye/Cog Flag: Layer Snot Green


The Black Kraken Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1776.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush crests Ice Blue
Hull/Cog Sail: Highlight Codex Grey
Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Trimming: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Kraken Eye/Cog Flag: Highlight Scorpion Green


The Black Kraken Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1892.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1897.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1899.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/ watered down Dark Angels Green (in lieu of Tharaka Green), then paint crests watered down Skull White
Hull/Cog Sail: Design added to cell – as Cog Flag Stages 1-3
Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Trimming: Highlight Mithril Silver
Kraken Eye/Cog Flag: Highlight Skull White (Eye only)


94.7 – Dreadfleet – The Sea Drake Painting Guide

The Sea Drake is a High Elf warship, accompanied by Dragons rather than smaller craft. I've painted in light blue and yellow to match my Shakeaway Elven army!

The Sea Drake Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1777.jpg)

Sea: Regal Blue
Deck: Baneblade Brown
Hull: Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astronomacian Grey)
Towers and Bolt Throwers: 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)
Roofs: The Fang (in lieu of Fenris Grey)
Sea Creatures: Mechanicus Standard Grey (in lieu of Adeptus Battlegrey)
Gold Trim: 1:1 Shining Gold/Scorched Brown
Sails: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Flags: Golden Yellow
Red Dragon: Khorne Red
White Dragon: Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astronomacian Grey)


The Sea Drake Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1778.jpg)

Sea: Heavily drybrush Enchanted Blue
Deck: Drybrush Graveyard Earth
Hull: Wash recesses watered down Shadow Grey
Towers and Bolt Throwers: Wash watered down Graveyard Earth (in lieu of Gryphonne Sepia)
Roofs: Wash Nuln Oil
Sea Creatures: Layer Codex Grey
Gold Trim: Shining Gold
Sails: Layer Ice Blue
Flags: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Red Dragon: Wash Carroburg Crimson (in lieu of Baal Red)
White Dragon: Wash watered down Shadow Grey


The Sea Drake Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1779.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush crests Ice Blue
Deck: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Hull: Layer 1:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Towers and Bolt Throwers: Layer Bleached Bone
Roofs: Layer Shadow Grey
Sea Creatures: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Trim: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Sails: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, highlight detail in Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astonomacian Grey)
Flags: Wash Reikland Fleshshade (in lieu of Ogryn Flesh)
Red Dragon: Layer Mephiston Red
White Dragon: Layer 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White


The Sea Drake Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1914.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1912.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1918.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/ watered down Dark Angels Green (in lieu of Tharaka Green), then paint crests watered down Skull White
Deck: DONE
Hull: Highlight Skull White
Towers and Bolt Throwers: Highlight Skull White
Roofs: Highlight Space Wolves Grey
Sea Creatures: Highlight Fortress Grey
Gold Trim: Highlight Mithril Silver
Sails: Highlight detail Skull White
Flags: Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Red Dragon: Highlight Blazing Orange, highlight claws and horns Bleached Bone
White Dragon: Highlight Skull White, highlight claws and horns Bleached Bone


94.8 – Dreadfleet – Skabrus Painting Guide

The Skabrus has a complicated background, so listen up, I will be asking questions later. A fleet of Skaven warships mistook the orb of the Leviathan for Warpstone, the Leviathan promptly ate the Skaven fleet. However many of the Skaven survived and started consuming the beast from the inside out. The Leviathan died, but not before the Skaven suffocated from it's rotting fumes. Later the Vampire Count Noctulus leading the Dreadfleet resurrected the Leviathan inadvertently resurrecting the Skaven crew who maintained their sentience. The Skaven converted the Leviathan into a rotting warship.

Skabrus Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1780.jpg)
Sea: Regal Blue
Internal Organs: Mephiston Red (in lieu of Mechrite Red)
Wood: Scorched Brown
Brass: 1:1 Tin Bitz/Dwarf Bronze
Flesh: 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)
Bones: 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)
Bell: Dark Angels Green
Flags and Sail: Mephiston Red (in lieu of Mechrite Red)


Skabrus Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1781.jpg)

Sea: Heavily drybrush Enchanted Blue
Internal Organs: Wash 1:1 Carribourg Crimson/Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Baal Red/Devlan Mud)
Wood: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Brass: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Flesh: Wash 1:1 watered down Leviathan Purple/Reikland Fleshshade (in lieu of Leviathan Purple/Ogyrn Flesh)
Bones: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Bell: Highlight Snot Green
Flags and Sail: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)


Skabrus Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1782.jpg)

Sea: Drybrush crests Ice Blue
Internal Organs: Layer 1:1 Mephiston Red/Blood Red (in lieu of Mechrite Red)
Wood: Layer Scorched Brown
Brass: Wash 1:1 Hawk Turquoise/Dark Angels Green
Flesh: Layer watered down Fortress Grey
Bones: Layer Bleached Bone
Bell: Highlight Scorpion Green
Flags and Sail: Highlight 1:1 Mephiston Red/Blood Red (in lieu of Mechrite Red)


Skabrus Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1940.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1936.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1931.jpg)

Sea: Wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/watered down Snot Green (in lieu of Tharaka Green), then paint crests watered down Skull White – except wash trails Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud), then watered down Liche Purple (in lieu of Leviathan Purple)
Internal Organs: Highlight Kommando Khaki, then wash Carroburg Crimson (in lieu of Baal Red)
Wood: Highlight Kommando Khaki
Brass: Highlight Chainmail
Flesh: Highlight Skull White
Bones: Highlight Skull White
Bell: Highlight Skull White
Flags and Sail: Highlight Blood Red, followed by Vomit Brown. Paint detail Kommando Khaki, then highlight Bleached Bone


94.9 – Dreadfleet – Templates and Markers Painting Guide

The templates and rulers are probably the least exciting part of the Dreadfleet kit, but I refused to fail my objectives because of this!! The circular template is double-sided featuring the Wind Gauge on one side and the Vortex Marker on the other, in case you wonder why it keeps changing look!

Templates Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1783.jpg)

Bone: 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Bleached Bone (in lieu of Dheneb Stone)
Gold Metal: 1:1 Shining Gold/Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Sea: Regal Blue
Wind Pieces: Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astronomacian Grey)
White Checks: Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astronomacian Grey)


Templates Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1784.jpg)

Bone: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Sea: Heavily drybrush Enchanted Blue
Wind Pieces: Wash watered down Shadow Grey
White Checks: Layer 1:1 Celestra Grey/Skull White


Templates Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1785.jpg)

Bone: Layer Bleached Bone
Gold Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade (in lieu of Devlan Mud)
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Sea: Drybrush Crests Ice Blue
Wind Pieces: Layer Celestra Grey (in lieu of Astronomacian Grey)
White Checks: Layer Skull White


Templates Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1948.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1953.jpg)

Bone: Highlight Skull White
Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Sea: Wash 1:1 Nuln Oil/ watered down Dark Angels Green (in lieu of Tharaka Green), then paint crests watered down Skull White
Wind Pieces: Highlight 1:1 Skull White/Mithril Silver
White Checks: Tidy up Black checks, with Chaos Black


94.10  – Get In Touch

Wow! What a long old blog, can't help it. I've been busy painting stuff. What's your excuse?!

Remember as always we'd love to hear your thoughts and comments on any, none or all of the following:


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers where I literally tweet every time I pick up a paintbrush, thereby stopping myself getting any painting done.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 15, 2013, 10:07:25 am
Ultramarine basing:

Mournfang brown is an awesome colour, it was the first of the new range of paints I bought, I use it all over the place for leather, fur and the likes.  My recommendation for your basing would be to sand your bases and before you start painting the blue get a layer of mournfang brown down, probably a wash of agrax too, then drybrush consecutive layers of mournfang, skrag, skrag & averland sunset or possibly a bone colour if that's too yellow and then a final drybrush with a little white in it.  That should give a fantastic transition and still only take a couple of minutes to do a whole squad when using a big flat drybrush.

Doing it before you do the armour means you don't have to worry about the feet when drybrushing and can just do the blue afterwards with some care not to hit the base.  I find it quicker that way as drybrushing is a tad messy where highlighting power armour should be a fairly neat process anyway. (I say this from the position of doing a few marines myself at the moment for my 2 tone army as I found 4 guys sat in a box that I'd done the initial bone basecoat and then left so thought I'd better finish off all my marines before moving back to my Eldar.

Irational helmet thoughts, you'll notice when you look at my marine army (should you ever get the chance) that apart from the AoBR sergeants which were 1 piece models that I haven't used a single unhelmeted marine in the entire company.  This was for a few reasons; 1. It was quicker to paint helmets. 2. It's bloody stupid to wear a boatload of really thick armour and then forget to put your helmet on so you can get shot in the face... 3. Marines are meant to go fight in all sorts of atmospheres, when raiding a space hulk are you really going to be certain there is a decent air supply available, maybe you should have kept the helmet on mr stupid choking to death when the doors opened sarge, thought you were meant to be the brains of the squad...

Dreadfleet - Nice, certainly beats my set (grey plastic still sat in the box, but I did take them off the sprues).
One comment would be on the choice of blue on the dwarf ship, blends into the sea colour a bit too closely so looks like it's half covered in water on first glance.  A bit odd, but still painted better than mine!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 15, 2013, 01:10:55 pm
Cheers for getting through the whole blog!!  :wink;m::

Quote from: Dave on January 15, 2013, 10:07:25 am
Ultramarine basing:

Mournfang brown is an awesome colour....

Yeah I think it's perfect for what I need and looks like a great colour. Is it slightly sad that I'm excited about my delivery of paints coming soon? Probably! Sounds like a good idea for the basing, wondering about adding a tad of orange in somewhere to make it a bit alien or whether that will take it too far. I have a dummy model ready to test on. Hear what you're saying about basing first, however my blue requires lots of washing and glazes - and having tried this on a Skull White based test model I've found this runs all over the base and stains that blue. Possibly my own fault, but I do like slopping a wash on!  :thumbsup: So I think whichever way round I do it will need some tidying at the final stage, and the blue already needs a tidy where it's got caught as other colours have been used on trim etc.

Quote from: Dave on January 15, 2013, 10:07:25 am
Irational helmet thoughts,...

Hahaha, totally agree with you here. Don't get me wrong I'm pleased at how the models have come out paint-wise, but yeah it's not practical in a battle setting. I almost always avoid non-helmeted Chaos Warriors characters, though I think part of that might be down to the fact that is how I think a Chaos Warrior should look, rather than any health and safety concerns.

Quote from: Dave on January 15, 2013, 10:07:25 am
Dreadfleet - Nice, certainly beats my set (grey plastic still sat in the box, but I did take them off the sprues).
One comment would be on the choice of blue on the dwarf ship, blends into the sea colour a bit too closely so looks like it's half covered in water on first glance.  A bit odd, but still painted better than mine!

They're a lot of fun to paint if you do get the time, and probably will only take you 5 mins! In my opinion at least. I know what you're saying about the Ironclad and did consider that at the time of painting. Problem is I wanted it to match my old Warhammer Dwarf army which used Regal Blue as it's base accent colour - exactly the same base colour as got used for the Ocean. You see my problem..., but on balance I think I made the right choice, would have annoyed me more if I varied the blue or just went green or something to avoid clashing with the sea!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 21, 2013, 12:38:21 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 95 – Back to Base-ics Monday 21st January 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

95.1 – Meet the Team

Procrastination by Numbers isn't just written by one moronic, but deeply attractive, gamer it's created by an entire team trapped in by the wintery conditions. Let's meet them:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been enjoying the beauty of the snow falling across the country, the bleak, empty, cold landscape bereft of love and joy makes him feel strangely at home.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been drawing pictures of the snow:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2150.jpg)

Admittedly it's not some of her best work.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

Still no word from honeymoon bound Mr Shakey Shakey maybe he has disowned Matty. Wouldn't be the first time friends have deserted Matty.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has started flowering, probably all the excitement about the new Warriors of Chaos stuff.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2147.jpg)

95.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 51

Yeah before you pour scorn at the "Day 51" caption, remember it's a double length month until the end of January! So I haven't fallen too far behind, yet!

Unbelievably for the second week in a row there has been progress!! No you are not dreaming, I have been that proactive! First up my Ultramarine Captain, from The Assault on Black Reach box has been assembled – on a snazzy resin base too.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1739.jpg)

He's now sitting ready to be painted.

Last week I talked about how this Paint Splatter guide looked like the kind of basing I wanted:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1814.jpg)

Well with my order of new exciting paints having arrived from Ol. I was ready to begin:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2182.jpg)

To test out the basing we needed a test model, and for that I selected the old Space Marine I'd used for my abortive Skull White basing test back in Month 1. At the time I hadn't based him so first task was to glue the rocks and sand on:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1758.jpg)

As my Ultramarines had all been built on a Chaos Black undercoat for a proper test we were going to have the spray the base Chaos Black. Sadly our test model was going to take a pasting! As you can see his power armour now looks a bit grubby:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2167.jpg)

Last week Dave put forward a suggestion for a basing which combined with the Paint Splatter, worked out as basecoat of Mournfang Brown, then washed with Agrax Earthshade, followed by drybrushing Mournfang Brown, then Skrag Brown, then 1:1 Skrag Brown/Averland Sunset, then 1:1:1 Skrag Brown/Averland Sunset/Rakarth Flesh.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2169.jpg)

Which I think you can agree has come out pretty darn close to the aim of looking something like this Martian surface shot:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1261.jpg)

So many thanks Dave!

This colour scheme has been replicated across all the squads:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2153.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2157.jpg)

And I've started work on the Captain, power armour and the base is done, so now we're working on the other colours.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2178.jpg)

All this gives me 10 days of January left to finish the Captain, tidy up the Squads which do look a little messy. And then add the traditional U-shaped transfers to the shoulder pads. Easy? Hopefully!!

95.3  – Ultramarine Shopping, Part 1

With January's Space Marines nearly done, it's time to put a little thought ahead towards February. And this is where I need some help friends. I've got 280 points to paint up in February (250 from February's allowance and a roll over 30 excess points from the last two months). I have the Dreadnought left from Assault on Black Reach, but at only 115 points I need to start shopping for some additions to my force. But what to get?! Hmmmm.

Given I am still yet to have a game of Warhammer 40,000, my suggestions of choices is rather uneducated. So people, what do I need?

I know I need a second Troop, which implies either some Scouts or a second Tactical Squad. I'm only allowed two characters normally, so I probably shouldn't go here just yet. But that's pretty much my knowledge at its maximum.

One of the things I am considering is plumping for a Space Marine Battle Force:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2185.jpg)

I find these kits a good way of getting both some useful basic troops in, and making sure your army at least has an appropriate core of non-gamey basic fluff units. Plus this ticks another Troop choice, and provides me with a tank – which excites me lots.

Failing that having a look at the models I like (by that I mean tanks), the Predator and the Whirlwind look fun:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2186.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2187.jpg)

But I am open to suggestions, so people what do I buy? Help me please!

95.4  – Get In Touch

This week's no different; I am tragic individual and need your constant praise and comments to not feel worthless. Here's some useful things I'd like to hear about if you really can't think of anything, the integrity of the blood flow to my wrists is dependent on you:


As always the plague of my rantings has infected Twitter, you can expose yourself at @ProByNumbers and be bored 24-7. See ya next week.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 21, 2013, 12:45:53 pm
To some extent it looks like your choice of what to get next depends on how you want the army to play. I would strongly consider a drop pod for the dreadnought though - equipped with MM and a flamer they are a good way to try and nick first blood.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 01:26:47 pm
Looks good Matt, army progression wise my suggestions would be,

If you're planning on using the black reach dreadnought then definately get a drop pod for it.

After playing a few games with a dreadnought with an assault cannon (same range of 24" as the dread's mutli--melta) 24" is just too short a range in 40K. Even moving six you'll still find yoursel fout of range often or not of things you want to blast with it, especially as they'll have greater movement than you and will stay out of range. The drop pod (cheap at 35points) allows you to land pretty much next to what you want to shoot.

It's also slightly smaller than a normal dread so I think trying to swap the weapon the new one would look a little oversized. I think the best weapon for the dreadnought is two twin linked autocannons (one on each arm), since this gives you a whooping 48" range.

Whirlwinds are not very good apparantely, I've not used one myself but my 40K friends at Spiky told me to steer clear of it, however, the Predator is very good. I've been using mine with the autocannon and with heavy bolters makes a very good anti-personnel tank capable of shooting light tanks and skimmers. I used two the other day and had them moving in front of my Rhino's providing a very good shield.

Don't bother getting the battleforce, unless you're really dead keen on getting the assault marines and scouts. Scouts are largelly here nor there. These are the ones with bolters which hit on 4's not 3's which is a big difference in 40K. You could stick them in a landspeeder storm to fly onto objectives but this is a fragile unit. Assault marines are no better than normal marines in combat, the only thing is the extra attack which after fighting a few combats in 40K isn't much cop unless they're a tonne of you. I think assautl marines would only be good in a squad of ten with chaplin and that's a lot of points that are not scoring.

Also you get 15 marines and you only need another 10 to make up your second tactical squad (you only need 2 squads, anymore is a waste.)

If you did get the batltleforce order some heavy weapons off ebay bits sellers seperately and turn the 5 man combat squad into a devastor squad.

Suggestions I would make for next purchase would be Rhino, Predator & devestator squad. After that Rhino and another tactical squad. For your tactical squads you should put power fists on your sergeants.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 21, 2013, 05:27:31 pm
I quite like the unit of scouts as a cheap unit to drop in your deployment zone and capture objectives.

Remember with space marines you have 2 (3) scoring units:
Tac Squad
Scouts
Marine bikes (when captain is mounted on a bike)

So for objectives you'll either need multiple tac squads or some scouts.  The scout kit is quite nice too, I chopped up my shotguns and bolt guns to make them have extended guns with a sight on them to use as sniper rifles rather than buying the metal (finecast) snipers.  That said they all rather stupidly have forgotten their helmets... One might also question giving the guys with the lowest balistic skill in the army the sniper rifles, surely they should go to the crack shots... Oh well!

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/3_NonWarhammer/Marines/Scouts1.jpg)

(http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c264/dafruk/3_NonWarhammer/Marines/Scouts2.jpg)

For VFM AoBR marines were good and cheap, but dunno now it's not in production if that's still the case.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 06:27:59 pm
You can split tactical squads into two units, both are still scoring units so 2 squads can become 4 scoring units.

However, scouts are good to sit on an objective in your deployment holding it. With camo cloaks in cover soemthing silly like a 2 or 3 up cover save.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 21, 2013, 09:02:16 pm
The bits from AOBR dread and the normal one aren't interchangeable as the connections are different sizes.

I'm intending to use scouts to sit on a home objective (possibly behind an aegis defence line with the sarge manning a quad gun or lascannon depending on what I go with)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 21, 2013, 10:24:40 pm
Cheers for all the comments, rather than replying to them all I'm going to try and talk more about it in next week's blog.

As a further couple of questions though, what is the difference between a Tactical Squad and a Combat Squad - is it just the number of Marines, can't really see in the Space Marines book?

My initial thought had been getting the Battle Force to allow me to build rather bog-standard neutral items to fill up army while I play games and work out how Warhammer 40,000 works, and then choose more exciting things for the rest of my points. I know the Assault Marines have had some flack in the replies  :wink;m:: - is there any merit in my plan, or is it simply foolish?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: lagar312 on January 22, 2013, 07:51:10 am
Quotewhat is the difference between a Tactical Squad and a Combat Squad - is it just the number of Marines, can't really see in the Space Marines book?

Certain units (from memory it's vets,tactical,assualt, Devastator, bike and scout squads) in the Space marine Codex are able to split into two 'combat units' so long as they have a minimum number of models in the unit (10 i believe) believe it's mentioned under the chapter rules at the from of the book!


Quoteis there any merit in my plan, or is it simply foolish?

Foolish!!  :bash;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 22, 2013, 09:24:58 am
Given how your HE ended up I wouldn't be overly worried about owning one or two less than optimal choices, unless you're trying to just build a tournament army.

Also despite everyone saying Assault marines aren't that good the few games I did play of 5th Ed I found them to be one of my favourite and most useful units.  They always seemed to do a job for me in clearing opponents off an objective when they didn't expect me to get to them in time. 12" move plus run/charge covers a lot of board.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 11:06:37 am
A Combat Squad is 5 Space Marines, a Tactical Squad is 10 Space Marines.

A combat Squad of 5 can't buy any special or heavy weapons, I think the sergeant can buy wargear but that's it. You start off with one of these and need to buy the additional 5 Space Marines to make the Tactical Squad. When you do you get access to special weapons and heavy weapons (certain ones being free for the squad.) GW sells both, a combat squad of 5 models which has no command sprue, so no sergeant, special weapons or missile launcher options. Then the tactical squad of 10 models which does have the command sprue.

Combat Tactics is the special Rule where a Tactical Squad (10 marines), ten man squad of Devestators, Sternguard and Scouts (off the top of my memory) can split into two units. With the tactical marines this means you can turn 1 scoring unit into 2, very handy if you have multiple objectives on the board. Or you cna keep one half (with the heavy weapon) stationary in your deployment to stop against line-breaker, whilst send the other half with sergeant and special weapon) in a Rhino off to an objective or to get you linebreaker.

Dave how many assault marines were you using. I've not played 5th but my 40k friend said that there is a lot more shooting in the game now, combat units do not have much free reign as they used to. I think also what puts me off them is the points investment for the unit, space marines are expensive and there are other units I think would be a better investment.

Matt, I don't think buying the battleforce is a foolish idea especially if you want to play around with the units and find out which ones you prefer. However, you'll have 5 space marines left over doing nothing (after buying two tactical squads and scouts in your army you don't need a combat squad in your army). With the assault marines if you play anyone with marines, grey knights, necrons, or eldar (if they have a lot of apect warriors) then they'll bounce off most units since they can't penetrate armour. I think you'll have two units you just won't use after a while, perhaps three if you get bored of the scouts.

I'd recommend buying a drop pod for your dreadnought, a predator tank and a rhino for your first tactical squad.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 22, 2013, 11:40:14 am
Ahhh this is what confused me, seeing the Combat Squad kit I presumed it was a unit type and couldn't find it in the army list! Thanks guys. Really should play this game probably make things a whole lot more clear.

Quote from: Dave on January 22, 2013, 09:24:58 am
Given how your HE ended up I wouldn't be overly worried about owning one or two less than optimal choices, unless you're trying to just build a tournament army.

This is a very good point, though I probably should aim for something slightly smaller than my High Elves!!  :thumbsup: Worryingly I'm quite enjoying painting them, which could lead to disaster!!

For now I will keep wistfully looking at the Games Workshop website - though any other suggestions, hints and tips are very much welcome.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 22, 2013, 12:13:22 pm
Quote from: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 11:06:37 am
Dave how many assault marines were you using. I've not played 5th but my 40k friend said that there is a lot more shooting in the game now, combat units do not have much free reign as they used to. I think also what puts me off them is the points investment for the unit, space marines are expensive and there are other units I think would be a better investment.

Was a full squad of 10 with powerfist and a couple of flamers if memory serves. Not saying they're a great choice but they always did a job.  Suspect your mates advice is pretty accurate, but I like the way jump pack troops look, so would like to have some in any army I ran!

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 11:06:37 am
Matt, I don't think buying the battleforce is a foolish idea especially if you want to play around with the units and find out which ones you prefer. However, you'll have 5 space marines left over doing nothing.
Again if you run larger dev squads for ablative wounds then these guys have a use (dev box contains sarge & 4 heavy weapon guys).  That said devestators are pt for pt a rubbish investmetn for marines, most expensive way of getting heavy weapons into the army.

Matt, a slight tangent but if you're going to be buying a lot of tanks do you have a space in which you could use an airbrush?  If so for <£100 you can get a decent compressor and airbrush which makes doing tanks a doddle.



Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 12:35:16 pm
Apart from the heavy bolters and missile launchers the heavy weapons are very expensive on a devastaror squad. You're better buying lascannons in your tactical squads as it's a far cheaper way of getting them in the army (and neccessary for tank busting.) I'm planning on running  missile launchers in my devastator squad, good long range, high strength (I default to firing krak grenades rather than flak).

I managed to shoot down a flyer with one of them a couple of games ago, I was most pleased, I rolled the neccessary 6 to hit, 5 to penetrate and then a 6 to blow it up! :thumbsup:

When I eventually return to my Crimson Fists I plan on running a unit of devastators with 4 heavy bolters for some anti-infatry firepower. My Fists will be more anti-personnel (as in to take on Orks.) However, that's just one of many projects.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 22, 2013, 06:08:37 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 22, 2013, 12:13:22 pm
Suspect your mates advice is pretty accurate, but I like the way jump pack troops look, so would like to have some in any army I ran!

Indeed Jump Packs look cool, in my pathetic opinion,

Quote from: Dave on January 22, 2013, 12:13:22 pm
Matt, a slight tangent but if you're going to be buying a lot of tanks do you have a space in which you could use an airbrush?  If so for <£100 you can get a decent compressor and airbrush which makes doing tanks a doddle.

Not really only have the balcony which is exceptionally weather dependent. Plus at least you can slop on copious quantities of Caledor Blue on a tank in front of Dancing on Ice or Splash!  :endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 06:42:31 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on January 22, 2013, 06:08:37 pm
Indeed Jump Packs look cool, in my pathetic opinion,

They do look cool and so do the chainswords and bolt pistols. I've got 10 that I will try and paint up towards the end of the blog to use in larger games (against lightly armoured armies) for fun. For the moment while I'm learning the game I'll leave them on the painting table.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 24, 2013, 05:44:38 pm
I've given some thought as to what you may want to get for your SM. Rather than waffle about individual units I've knocked up a quick list based on AOBR and using assault marines

Captain - power weapon

10 Tactical marines - Missile launcher, flamer, melta bombs
Rhino
10 Tactical marines - Plasma cannon, plasma gun
Drop pod

5 Termies
Dread - Multi melta
drop pod
10 Sternguard 2x combi-melta
drop pod

10 assault marines - sarge w/ fist and plasma pistol, 2x plasma pistol
8 bikes - 2x melta, fist attack bike w/multi melta

This comes to 1,750.

The idea is the dread and sternguard come down T1 and tie up chunks of the other army buying time for the FA options to close in and choose their target. The army will struggle to deal with enemy air but the lack of vehicles and the quick attack options should limit the potential for sky based death. The third pod can come down empty - its just included to ensure the two with the good stuff in land T1
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 29, 2013, 10:32:53 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 96 – The Transfer Window Tuesday 22nd January 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

96.1 – Meet the Team

With Matty the Painter busy having rows with his own warped psyche, other people have to help him write the blog. Let's meet them:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been struggling to contain the little bit of wee that keeps coming up when he thinks about the new Warriors of Chaos.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist is upset that all the snow has gone, that or she's been crying about missing her family again. Typical!

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

Still nothing...

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has already put her order in with OG Games for all the new Warriors stuff!

96.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 59

There's literally two days left of Month 2 (which has been extended to include all of December and January), and the exciting news I can confirm is that... insert drumroll... I've finished my first two months' worth of models. Whoop-to-the-whoop-to-the-whoopedy-whoop!

Before I get too excited and blow my thunder early on showing you the photos, there's the small matter of how I finished the models off. First on the list of chores to do was give a quick tidy up to the two squads, mainly this was tidying up the blue power armour where it had been caught with other colours during the detailing process. I was worried this would be tricky given how my armour had come out, but a spot of Alaitoc Blue, and then a dab of
Guilliman Blue over the top hid the spots remarkably well.

Next up I worked on the Captain, as he was awaiting some extra colours. I basically painted him the same as the other Marines in the army, but between each colour layer used on the original Marines, I added in a 1:1 mix of the two layers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2216.jpg)

Once the Captain was bought up to finished, it was time to add some details to the whole squad. Personally I'm not a massive fan of adding loads of scripture and markings all over the power armour. I want my Marines to look clean and tidy.

I did however add some "text" to the Purity Seal Parchment – this after all is effectively the 90-Day Money Back Warranty for Space Marine armour, so I think it's worth filling out. This was actually a lot easier than I first expected, and was simply some lines of Rhinox Hide painted with a Fine Detail Brush, which looked pretty effective.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2221.jpg)

I then added some text to the scrolls on the Captain's gun and banner, and the Terminator Sergeant's chest plate. I wanted to come up with something different to what the 'Eavy Metal version had on the models but I couldn't think of anything better than "ULTRA" for the longer scrolls, and for the gun I couldn't think of any useful small words other than copying "REX" – I thought about "POO" but that had the potential to be awkward. I promise to do better next time!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2231.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2240.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2246.jpg)

To paint the text, I did a rough outline in Dawnstone, before painting over with Abaddon Black – the best tip I can give you here is start with the middle letter of the word and then work outwards, it will give you much better spacing and avoid the unfortunate situation of your word getting scrunched up at the end of the scroll.

Like all good Space Marines, chapter markings are important. By choosing Ultramarines, one of the standard chapters, I had the advantage of being able to use the transfers supplied in the box.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2192.jpg)

I say advantage, I didn't get on brilliantly with the transfers – it was a bit of a frustrating process. That said I think I managed to get them to come out all right in the end, though any hints and tips you have would be welcome!

There's a handy guide to applying transfers in the How to Paint Citadel Miniatures book, so I used this as a starting point. N.B. Blame them not me if I've done something terrible!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1633.jpg)

First up I covered the shoulder pads – the area where the transfer was to be applied, with 'Ardcoat to prepare it for the application of the transfer (don't ask why, am just doing what I've been told!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2197.jpg)

Next I snipped out the transfers from the sheet, the guide suggested using a craft knife. However I don't have one of these – I've always found a scraper, file and clippers more than sufficient for tidying up my models and significantly less likely to cut my fingers off! I am after all a klutz. But scissors proved more than useful here.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2199.jpg)

I then placed the transfer on some wet kitchen roll, allowing the transfer to absorb water and then separate from the backing paper.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2201.jpg)

Using a wet paintbrush I then slid the transfer into place. This sentence sounds a hell of a lot simpler than it actually was! In practice I found the transfers had trouble lying flat on the curved surface of the shoulder pad, this I helped by snipping the top of the transfer (in between the prongs of the 'U') so that the transfer could slightly overlap itself. I knew there was a very good reason I chose Ultramarines, not sure how I'd have done this with another chapter!!! Also a lot of the transfers broke up slightly, which wasn't helpful. Though with a lot of patience I got each transfer (or parts) lined up in the right places.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2203.jpg)

I then dabbed the water away with another piece of kitchen roll, trying to smooth out any wrinkles – which again was a lot simpler to say, in practice this left some wrinkles behind. And you had to be really careful not to dislodge the transfer.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2207.jpg)

After leaving them to dry I then covered the whole shoulder pad with Lahmian Medium, which sealed the transfer down. This did seem to do a good job of stopping the transfer moving.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2209.jpg)

With that done I tidied up the transfers using White Scar on the "U" symbol and Alaitoc Blue, with a dab of Guilliman Blue for the background. Painting over the wrinkles in the "U" symbol actually did a really good job of disguising them. And in the end, despite a lot of swearing, I was pleased with how they came out.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2247.jpg)

The Tactical Squad Sergeant came with an additional challenge due to the Purity Seal on his pad, to get round this I cut a section out of the transfer bigger than the Purity Seal. Applied it on in the appropriate place and then used White Scar to fill the gap.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2258.jpg)

The Captain had his own set of problems; firstly there weren't enough transfers in the pack for him. Secondly his cloak covers half of his shoulder pad, I painted on my own "U" symbol freehand using White Scar. It took quite a lot of tidying up to get it right, but in the end I was pleased with the result. The cloak's position gives me a certain level of freedom from it being perfect.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2266.jpg)

And whilst the results on the Captain are good, it has convinced me I don't want to go freehand on all the shoulder pads in my army!!

With that done all that remains to add is the finished pictures of the Captain, Tactical Squad and Terminators. Thoughts please, as long as they are positive – negative ones will make me cry!!

So first up, here's the Tactical Squad:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2291.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2300.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2304.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2272.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2289.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2286.jpg)

The Terminators:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2322.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2332.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2327.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2309.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2312.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2318.jpg)

The Space Marine Captain:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2333.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2343.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2338.jpg)

And here's the obligatory, army shot for so far...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2345.jpg)

96.3  – Ultramarine Shopping, Part 2

So last week I asked your thoughts on how to progress with my Ultramarines army, and I was deluged with a raft of responses. So many, many thanks for that, I will now examine them all and explain why I have ignored them all and made a completely different decision! Haha, no that's not quite true!

I should at this point, make it quite clear that all my comments are entirely based on thoughts on what models I like and want to paint. I have NO idea how to play Warhammer 40,000 and therefore what is worth taking, I haven't even read the rulebook! I know, I know, my intention is to take my newly painted Ultramarines to OG for some introductory games to get me knowing what to do so I can at least be more informed!

Any-who, here are some of the additions that you suggested, and my thoughts:

Drop Pod

Quote from: roland murat on January 21, 2013, 12:45:53 pm
I would strongly consider a drop pod for the dreadnought though - equipped with MM and a flamer they are a good way to try and nick first blood.

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 01:26:47 pm
If you're planning on using the black reach dreadnought then definately get a drop pod for it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2355.jpg)

I have to be honest, I'm not sure about the Drop Pod. It's not the model, I think it's the imagery – I want my futuristic war to involve tanks and craft that fly and take off and hover (don't worry I'm not getting a Forgeworld Thunderhawk Gunship - £399.99 madness!), Drop Pods don't quite have the right sci-fi imagery for me. The model is ok, but for only 35 points basic it's a lot of painting – I've got to do 250 points a month!!! Maybe,... but I think I want some tanks first.

Whirlwind

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 01:26:47 pm
Whirlwinds are not very good apparantely, I've not used one myself but my 40K friends at Spiky told me to steer clear of it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2187.jpg)

God dam it!!! I really wanted a Whirlwind, I might still get one hahaha! But I will definitely hold off for the time being.

Predator

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 01:26:47 pm
...the Predator is very good. I've been using mine with the autocannon and with heavy bolters makes a very good anti-personnel tank capable of shooting light tanks and skimmers. I used two the other day and had them moving in front of my Rhino's providing a very good shield.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2186.jpg)

The Predator has survived your comments; currently this is my favourite of the Space Marine tanks. And is definitely high up the wish list. Hmmm...

Battleforce

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 01:26:47 pm
Don't bother getting the battleforce, unless you're really dead keen on getting the assault marines and scouts. Scouts are largelly here nor there... Assault marines are no better than normal marines in combat, the only thing is the extra attack which after fighting a few combats in 40K isn't much cop unless they're a tonne of you...

Also you get 15 marines and you only need another 10 to make up your second tactical squad (you only need 2 squads, anymore is a waste.)

Quote from: Dave on January 21, 2013, 05:27:31 pm
I quite like the unit of scouts as a cheap unit to drop in your deployment zone and capture objectives.

The scout kit is quite nice too.  That said they all rather stupidly have forgotten their helmets... One might also question giving the guys with the lowest balistic skill in the army the sniper rifles, surely they should go to the crack shots... Oh well!

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 21, 2013, 06:27:59 pm
However, scouts are good to sit on an objective in your deployment holding it. With camo cloaks in cover soemthing silly like a 2 or 3 up cover save.

Quote from: roland murat on January 21, 2013, 09:02:16 pm
I'm intending to use scouts to sit on a home objective (possibly behind an aegis defence line with the sarge manning a quad gun or lascannon depending on what I go with)

Quote from: lagar312 on January 22, 2013, 07:51:10 am
Foolish!!  :bash;m:

Quote from: Dave on January 22, 2013, 09:24:58 am
Also despite everyone saying Assault marines aren't that good the few games I did play of 5th Ed I found them to be one of my favourite and most useful units.

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 22, 2013, 11:06:37 am
Matt, I don't think buying the battleforce is a foolish idea especially if you want to play around with the units and find out which ones you prefer. However, you'll have 5 space marines left over doing nothing (after buying two tactical squads and scouts in your army you don't need a combat squad in your army).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2185.jpg)

Lots of thoughts here on the Battleforce, mainly the Scouts and Assault Marines. The consensus I'm getting is it's not optimal, but not a bad building block to get us started. I did enjoy Dave's comment about the lack of helmets on the Scouts – though I get the impression with Scouts they aren't allowed them. Yes it's ridiculous, but it seems less ridiculous than having a helmet and choosing not to wear it! At least it's because of an equipment shortage, stupid or otherwise. True the Combat Marines potentially would be spare, but in fairness the cost saving of buying the Battleforce over the constituent parts is more than the cost of the Combat Marines. So I'd be better off buying the Battleforce, even if I just threw the Combat Marines in the bin.

Some people kindly went even further with an entire army list:

Quote from: roland murat on January 24, 2013, 05:44:38 pm
I've given some thought as to what you may want to get for your SM. Rather than waffle about individual units I've knocked up a quick list based on AOBR and using assault marines

Captain - power weapon

10 Tactical marines - Missile launcher, flamer, melta bombs
Rhino
10 Tactical marines - Plasma cannon, plasma gun
Drop pod

5 Termies
Dread - Multi melta
drop pod
10 Sternguard 2x combi-melta
drop pod

10 assault marines - sarge w/ fist and plasma pistol, 2x plasma pistol
8 bikes - 2x melta, fist attack bike w/multi melta

This comes to 1,750.

The idea is the dread and sternguard come down T1 and tie up chunks of the other army buying time for the FA options to close in and choose their target. The army will struggle to deal with enemy air but the lack of vehicles and the quick attack options should limit the potential for sky based death. The third pod can come down empty - its just included to ensure the two with the good stuff in land T1

Thanks, I have no idea if this is any good or not! Hahaha. My only initial thought is not many tanks, and lots of drop pods, which is a bit sad. But I do like the Sternguard, and am warming to the Bikes so parts of it certainly could make an appearance.

I'm sure you're itching to know what I choose..., well... I spent a long time considering getting a Predator and the Space Marines with Sniper Rifles (which I prefer the look of to the normal Scouts). But decided I'm going to go with the Battleforce – the Tactical Squad and Rhino seem to be a must, the Scouts will be useful and being a basic Troop choice, I don't think it matters if I also get the Sniper Rifle Scouts at a later date as I'm sure they will all get use filling that compulsory slot choice. The Assault Marines just look fun to paint, and hopefully will be good to include. Admittedly the Combat Squad might not be that useful, but as I said above its essentially free models. Additionally I'm sure I could use them as something simple to help me learn the rules before replacing it with something more exotic later.

I think the Battleforce will give me a couple more months' worth of troops to practice my basic paint job on – they seem pretty similar to the models I've already painted. Plus they'll be simple choices to get me going, before I then add all the exotic stuff towards the end of the project, oh and of course there's a tank! And don't worry Drop Pod fans, I'm sure one will appear one day!

96.4 – Great Bray Shaman Painting Guide

Back in Update 93, I mentioned I'd pretty much finished my Beastmen army. So I thought it was about time I showed you them. Rather than bore you by putting up a load of painting guides in one go (ala Dreadfleet – Update 94), I thought I'd drip feed you them. Which also gives me a chance to repair all the other Beastmen so I can dhow you a finished army shot at some stage!

This week I'm showing off the new plastic Great Bray-Shaman, well it came out within the last 12 months, which given my painting speed is new. Plus given the only other Beastmen Shaman models were released in 1997 I think we can still use the word new. Main thing of note is the cloak made of stitched together flesh, where I basically raided my paints box for every flesh colour I could find.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2016.jpg)

Great Bray Shaman Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2188.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then Beastial Brown, then Snakebite Leather
Inside of Cloak: Drybrush 1:1 Chardonite Grantie, then Adeptus Battlegrey, then Codex Grey
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Straps: Scorched Brown
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Flesh Cloak: Patches Painted Tallarn Flesh, Dwarf Flesh, Dark Flesh, Ratskin Flesh or Bugman's Glow


Great Bray Shaman Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1505.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Badab Black
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Badab Black
Flesh:  Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Fur: Wash Badab Black
Inside of Cloak: Wash Nuln Oil
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Straps: Wash Badab Black
Gold Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Flesh Cloak: Wash Ogryn Flesh


Great Bray Shaman Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2189.jpg)

Base: NONE
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Dheneb Stone
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh:  Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Fur: NONE
Inside of Cloak: NONE
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh Cloak: Highlight with appropriate basecoat mixed with Bleached Bone


Great Bray Shaman Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2016.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2023.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2033.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock Scorched Grass, followed by Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh:  Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Fur: NONE
Inside of Cloak: NONE
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Highlight Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh Cloak: Highlight Bleached Bone


96.5  – Get In Touch

This week I'm still clawing for attention, so please fulfil it!! Here's some useful things I'd like to know!


As always I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers so please find me! Thanks for the kind comments there about the Ultramarines!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on January 29, 2013, 12:16:02 pm
Transfers - One tip I'd heard is to cut a slit in the middle of the U, it allows any air bubbles to be pushed out of the middle rather than faffing around getting it all the way to the edges and reduces wrinkles, as long as you use a sharp enough knife then it shouldn't show up once the transfer has been put in place.

Buying next... God knows, I did a stupid number of marines.  For army legality you'll need a second core choice which means either another tactical squad or a scout squad, so on that basis one of them would seem sensible but then again if you find you're getting bored of painting troops a nice tank might be the way to go.  In other words, I've no idea make your own mind up!

Thoughts on marines, you might want to check out another painting forum I'm on, they're definitly into their space marines over there, in particular I'll link you Jetfire's space marine blog, all sorts of marines from different chapters but loads of good stuff going on.

2011 - sadly all links now broken so no pictures (ie don't bother)
http://www.thepainteddragon.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=87
2012
http://www.thepainteddragon.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=961
2013
http://www.thepainteddragon.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=1842

He'd definitely be happy to give any pointers and I seem to remember he had a really quick guide to painting the U symbol but I can't see it so guess it was in 2011, but sure he'd help out if you asked.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 29, 2013, 12:45:08 pm
If you want tanks I'm a big fan of the vindi (need to double these guys up though or they die too fast) and the redeemer.

The crusader varient of the LR is possibly more effective but I like the big flame throwers. I have also been assured 'chicks dig it' but I think my source may be a tad unreliable.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 29, 2013, 01:37:06 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 29, 2013, 12:16:02 pm
Buying next... God knows, I did a stupid number of marines.  For army legality you'll need a second core choice which means either another tactical squad or a scout squad, so on that basis one of them would seem sensible but then again if you find you're getting bored of painting troops a nice tank might be the way to go.

Matt said he was going to buy the battleforce so he'll have two more troop choices with the second tactical squad (in addition to his black reach one) and a scout squad.

Some suggestions Matt

For the tactical squad you'll get in the battleforce get hold of a powerfist and a lascannon. All my 40K friends say powerfists are a must on a space marine tactical squad sergeant. The Strength 8 and AP2 means you can threaten high toughness, Armour 2 troops and walkers, skimmers and even some tanks. Without it these units can walk all over your tactical squads which is very bad since these are your main scoring units. The lascannon is cheaper to buy in the tactical squad than in a devastator squad as well, and the strength 9 and AP2 is very handy for taking pot shots at tanks and Armour 2 or Armour 3 units. Also for the sergeant give him a bolter rather than a pistol, he does not get the benefit of the extra attack for it whilst using the power first and the bolter offers two shots and range.

Stick a power fist on your assault squad sergeant, again for the same reasons as above. Also a flamer on the unit would be pretty good since you can try and flame roast a large squad you're about to assault to reduce the number of them in combat.

With the combat squad you get in the battleforce you could perhaps turn them into a devastator squad. There are plenty of people on ebay or with bits shops selling the heavy weapons, or you could ask the other guys. Only suggestion would be to take 4 missile launchers since you can use the squad to threaten vehicles from range. A mix of weapons seems a bit rubbish, and plasma cannons cannot move and fire so don't waste your time with them. If you go for multi-melters you'll need a tank to move the unit close to enemy targets since 24" range is painfully short in 40k. The sergeant here doesn't need a powerfist since the enemy will most likely shoot this unit from a far to get rid of them. Make sure you pick up his special signum backpack.

In regards to moving forward and what to buy after, a predator tank, a landspeeder (they're hard to use but look awesome!, or a landspeeder storm to use as a transport for your scouts. Hold them back then fly onto an objective with them in later turns. Also I suggest a chaplin with jumpback to join the assault squad to give them re-rolls to hit in combat.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 30, 2013, 10:18:35 pm
Quote from: Dave on January 29, 2013, 12:16:02 pm
Transfers - One tip I'd heard is to cut a slit in the middle of the U, it allows any air bubbles to be pushed out of the middle rather than faffing around getting it all the way to the edges and reduces wrinkles, as long as you use a sharp enough knife then it shouldn't show up once the transfer has been put in place.

Thanks that sounds good, though it does put me in charge of a sharp knife - scary!!

Quote from: Dave on January 29, 2013, 12:16:02 pm
Buying next... God knows,...

Fair enough.  :wink;m::

Quote from: Dave on January 29, 2013, 12:16:02 pm
Thoughts on marines, you might want to check out another painting forum I'm on, they're definitly into their space marines over there, in particular I'll link you Jetfire's space marine blog, all sorts of marines from different chapters but loads of good stuff going on.

Cheers thanks for the tip, though obviously not as good as this very blog!
Quote from: roland murat on January 29, 2013, 12:45:08 pm
If you want tanks I'm a big fan of the vindi (need to double these guys up though or they die too fast) and the redeemer.

The crusader varient of the LR is possibly more effective but I like the big flame throwers. I have also been assured 'chicks dig it' but I think my source may be a tad unreliable.

Well it sounds like there's absolutely no point in me getting a Land Raider then!

Quote from: The Trampoline on January 29, 2013, 01:37:06 pm
For the tactical squad you'll get in the battleforce get hold of a powerfist and a lascannon. All my 40K friends say powerfists are a must on a space marine tactical squad sergeant.

Do I not get a powerfist on the Tactical Squad sprue?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 30, 2013, 11:13:04 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on January 30, 2013, 10:18:35 pm
Do I not get a powerfist on the Tactical Squad sprue?

Nope. Try and get one off the OG guys, or ebay it. The bolt pistol and chainswords are not much cop compared to a powerfist.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 31, 2013, 08:06:32 am
I used a terminator arm for a powerfist (it was a lightning claw with the blades chopped off). Although a bit to big I have given the sarge a bare held that has a metal plate so it make it look like he has been re-built after extensive injuries. He still hasn't got a helmet so clearly hasn't learnt his lesson.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 31, 2013, 10:47:04 am
Quote from: The Trampoline on January 30, 2013, 11:13:04 pm
Nope.

Boooooo!

Quote from: roland murat on January 31, 2013, 08:06:32 am
He still hasn't got a helmet so clearly hasn't learnt his lesson.

What a pillock?! Hehehe. Once I get my mits on some multi-part kits I will be able to judge for myself, how to do these things and what I get.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on January 31, 2013, 10:59:06 am
You can pick one up from ebay for about £2-£3 inc. postage, you could probably find someone selling both a lascannon and a power fist together.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 06, 2013, 02:50:33 pm
So I haven't written this week's blog yet - lazy, I know! But as I'm going to be talking about how my Warriors Army has changed in response to the new book, here's a little game to play.

I costed up my Warriors of Chaos army in the 7th Edition, giving a mixture of Heroes and Lords and a healthy dose of magic items and banners. It's not legal (percentage wise), but comes to 5,399 points. How much do you reckon the same army will be worth under 8th edition? Good game? I think so!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on February 06, 2013, 03:00:44 pm
2,400pts exactly, and fits with most comps.  Warriors are broken.

My actual guess is...4,986.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 06, 2013, 05:52:49 pm
5,512
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 11, 2013, 08:27:46 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 97 – The Worrier of Chaos Monday 11th February 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

97.1 – Meet the Team

Matty has devoted his life to the great god Tzeentch. In return the Changer of Ways has gifted him some followers to help him write the blog. Let's see what they've been up to this week:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty's performance at the Super Bowl would have been the highlight of the event, had it not occurred at the same time as the power failure.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist is trying to work out what all the fuss was about seeing Jimmy Saville on the Tweenies. She still got to practice her ABCs!

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

He's back, he's really, really back. I've got my friend again. Still not returning my calls, but his phone probably fell out of his shaking hands.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has been treating herself at the salon, having her roots done!

97.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 3, Day 11

Last week saw me complete Month 2, yes it seems unlikely, but that's what having no social life does for you. Here's where I got up to in my cold, cold, lonely bedroom:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2345.jpg)

Which convert to this:

Space Marine Captain 100 points
100 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad 200 points
200 points

TOTAL:  470 points

Which means I have a rollover 30 points to spend this month, meaning I need 280 points worth of blue-clad goodness to paint up this month. The only model I currently have to paint up is the Dreadnought, which is 115 points.

Currently I've started slapping on the blue, and am approximately "this" far ahead with his walki-ness, as the Dreadnought prefers to be addressed. I'm talking rubbish again aren't I, shut up Matty, shut up you fool!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2409.jpg)

The remaining 165 points will be worked out exactly soon enough, but the good news is I will be picking up a selection of Space Marine based goodies from the excellent Mr Ol, he of OG Games fame. In fact so popular is his retail emporium that it's rumoured that the sequel to ITV's "Mr Selfridge" will be "Mr Ol".

97.3  – New Warriors of Chaos Amry Book

Unless you are David Blunkett you can't possibly have failed to have spotted that the brand new Warriors of Chaos book has hit the shelves recently:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2413.jpg)

There's deep excitement in the Procrastination by Numbers bunker at the rise of the Warriors. It's well known that I've been obsessed with the god Tzeentch for a while, but the other members of the team are getting excited too. The resident six-year old artist has been drawing some quite disturbing imagery in her worship of the god Khorne:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2414.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey having returned from his honeymoon has started worshipping the god of Nurgle. Well he's dropped a pile of medication, which sort of counts:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2419.jpg)

And Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot, has converted to Slaanesh, luring Lego man to her embrace of death with her new flowers:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2424.jpg)

Despite having returned to Warhammer in 2006 when The Battle of Skull Pass was released, this is the first time in all these years that I've had a painted army I already own gain a new army book. Obviously Dwarfs are about as likely to get a new army book as the Squats are to get a new Codex, and my High Elves, Beastmen and Warriors armies I all started as their 7th edition books came out.

It's with both excitement and trepidation that I approach converting my army to a new book. Will my freshly painted models still be useable, will that massive unit of Spearmen I painted still be a viable choice? It's all made me rather nervous, in fact you could say I've become a Worrier of Chaos – see what I've done there! Perhaps you're laughing, clearly not at that joke, but at my worrying. But let's be honest over the years, the armies of Chaos have had more line-up changes than the Sugababes. Back in 5th Edition the dysfunctional family of Chaos had an almighty bust-up splitting up into separate armies, but sharing joint custody of the monstrous creatures like Dragon Ogres, Chaos Trolls and Harpies. Then in 6th edition after much counselling Daemons and Warriors made peace and got back together, whilst the Beastmen left the country absconding with all the monsters. But then in 7th things the relationship soured as the Daemons jumped ship and the Warriors nicked half the monsters back off the Beastmen leaving them to invent their own ridiculous pig-based Lion King half-bred creatures to fill the gaps. And if that wasn't bad enough you should see the Daemonic Command Groups, they been back and forth to the job centre more often than a HMV store manager.

It's been a little while since my Warriors of Chaos appeared on the hallowed pages of this blog, so for newer readers (I'm reasonably confident I'd driven away the older ones by now), I should give you a little recap. My Warriors army is a Tzeentch based army, in that all the models that can have the Mark of Tzeentch do, there's a few non-aligned monsters and the like, but barring that it's Tzeentch all the way! Here, to please Dave as he's a big army shot fan, is the army arrayed in all its glory:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2389.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2430.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2437.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2443.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2456.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2459.jpg)

Not a bad selection of Warriors if I do say so myself.

Army list wise, here's how that worked out in 7th edition, with an exciting little key for you!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2425.jpg)

LORDS

A - Chaos Lord with Mark of Tzeentch, Great Weapon, Shield, riding Disc of Tzeentch – 412 points
B - Sorcerer Lord (Level 4) with Mark of Tzeentch – 440 points
C - Daemon Prince (Level 4) with Mark of Tzeentch – 575 points

HEROES

D - Chaos Sorcerer (Level 2) with Mark of Tzeentch – 215 points
E - Chaos Sorcerer (Level 2) with Mark of Tzeentch – 215 points
F - Exalted Hero with Mark of Tzeentch and Great Weapon – 203 points
G - Exalted Hero with Mark of Tzeentch, additional hand weapon and shield – 204 points
H - Exalted Hero Battle Standard Bearer with Mark of Tzeentch, Great Weapon and Magic Weapon – 278 points

CORE

I - 15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch, hand weapons, shields, full command and Magic Banner – 340 points
J - 20 Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch, flails, light armour and full command – 160 points
K - 40 Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch, hand weapons, shields and full command – 280 points
L - 5 Chaos Hounds with poisoned attacks and scaly skin (6+) – 50 points
M - 5 Chaos Hounds with poisoned attacks and scaly skin (6+) – 50 points
N - 5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch, light armour, spears, throwing axes and full command – 140 points
O - 5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch, light armour, flails and full command – 135 points

SPECIAL

P - 10 Chosen with Mark of Tzeentch, great weapons, full command and Magic Banner – 345 points
Q - 3 Dragon Ogres with great weapons and Champion – 251 points
R - 3 Dragon Ogres with great weapons – 231 points
S - 4 Chaos Trolls – 180 points
T - 5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch, full command and Magic Banner – 320 points

RARE

U - Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch – 55 points
V - Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch – 55 points
W - Chaos Giant with Mark of Tzeentch – 245 points

TOTAL: 5,399 points

Which breaks down as:
Lords: 1,427 points (26.43%)
Heroes: 1,115 points (20.65%)
Core: 1,055 points (19.54%) + 100 points for Warhounds, don't count as core (1.85%)
Special: 1,327 points (24.58%)
Rare: 375 points (6.95%)


Ok so it's no exactly legal, but under 7th edition it is at least an army. Would the new 8th edition book still allow the Mark of Tzeentch, would I have to repaint my entire army or scoop it into the bin? Would Daemons be back and Chaos Trolls out? Would Marauders with shields be illegal despite me painting 40 of the little poos?

The good news is, no. Everything I currently own still exists in the new book! Wooohoo! Happiness personified!

I also set a little competition on the blog for people to guess how much my army would be worth. I was inundated with answers, in much the same way I shall be inundated with Valentine's cards on Thursday. Fortunately there were two answers which allows for a modicum of competition. Would Tom's guess of 4,986 be closest or would Mike's guess of 5,512 win.

So here's the same army recalculated under the new points values, with some note about the changes as we see who has won!

LORDS

A - Chaos Lord with Mark of Tzeentch, Great Weapon, Shield, riding Disc of Tzeentch – 413 points  +1 point, as the reduction in the cost of his basic weaponry is almost equalled out by the 10 point rise in the cost of a Disc. The Disc does now gain +1 S, + 1 T and +2 A for that, making it a bit less poo in combat.
B - Sorcerer Lord (Level 4) with Mark of Tzeentch – 435 points  -5 points, reduction in the cost of the Mark of Tzeentch for Sorcerers. Rules wise he can now use the Lore of Metal, and rather than +1 to cast from Mark of Tzeentch he can reroll channelling results of 1
C - Daemon Prince (Level 4) with Mark of Tzeentch – 575 points  +/-0 point, despite the apparent no change in cost, there's a lot of changes the Daemon Prince dropped 65 points in value, though fly is now a separate bonus at 40 points, the wizard levels have dropped 5 points each, though he can now take Chaos Armour and magic items which equal out the cost. His rules change to with Magical Attacks, goes from Stubborn to Unbreakable, his Mark is improved as above, his stats are bumped up too with +1 WS, + 5 BS (it was 0), +1S, +1 I and +1 Ld

HEROES

D - Chaos Sorcerer (Level 2) with Mark of Tzeentch – 235 points  +20 points, the basic cost of the Sorcerer goes up 25 points though the Mark of Tzeentch drops 5 points. Rules changes as above.
E - Chaos Sorcerer (Level 2) with Mark of Tzeentch – 235 points  +20 points, the basic cost of the Sorcerer goes up 25 points though the Mark of Tzeentch drops 5 points. Rules changes as above.
F - Exalted Hero with Mark of Tzeentch and Great Weapon – 201 points  -2 points, reduction in the cost of his basic weaponry.
G - Exalted Hero with Mark of Tzeentch, additional hand weapon and shield – 201 points   -3 points, reduction in the cost of his basic weaponry.
H - Exalted Hero Battle Standard Bearer with Mark of Tzeentch, Great Weapon and Magic Weapon – 276 points  -2 points, reduction in the cost of his basic weaponry.

CORE

I - 15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch, hand weapons, shields, full command and Magic Banner – 310 points  -30 points, each basic Warrior has dropped in cost from 15 to 14 points. Mark of Tzeentch goes from 20 points per unit, to 2 points per model (increasing the cost by 10 points), the maximum cost of magic banner drops from 50 to 25 points.
J - 20 Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch, flails, light armour and full command – 250 points  +90 points, each basic Marauder has increased from 4 to 6 points. Mark of Tzeentch goes from 20 points per unit, to 2 points per model (increasing the cost by 20 points), Flails go up by a point, and command models are standardised to 10 points an upgrade adding another 10 points to the unit cost.
K - 40 Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch, hand weapons, shields and full command – 280 points  +150 points, each basic Marauder has increased from 4 to 6 points. Mark of Tzeentch goes from 20 points per unit, to 2 points per model (increasing the cost by 60 points), and command models are standardised to 10 points an upgrade adding another 10 points to the unit cost.
L - 5 Chaos Hounds with poisoned attacks and scaly skin (6+) – 50 points  +/- 0 points, -2 points to the cost of Scaly Skin, but Chaos Hounds can now buy the Vanguard rule for +2 points.
M - 5 Chaos Hounds with poisoned attacks and scaly skin (6+) – 50 points  +/- 0 points, -2 points to the cost of Scaly Skin, but Chaos Hounds can now buy the Vanguard rule for +2 points.
N - 5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch, spears, throwing axes and full command – 125 points  -15 points, each basic Marauder Horseman has increased from 13 to 14 points. Mark of Tzeentch goes from 20 points per unit, to 2 points per model (decreasing the cost by 10 points), Horseman now can't take Light Armour without losing their Fast Cavalry rule – dropping this saves 10 points.
O - 5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch, flails and full command – 120 points  -15 points, each basic Marauder Horseman has increased from 13 to 14 points. Mark of Tzeentch goes from 20 points per unit, to 2 points per model (decreasing the cost by 10 points), Horseman now can't take Light Armour without losing their Fast Cavalry rule – dropping this saves 10 points.

SPECIAL

P - 10 Chosen with Mark of Tzeentch, great weapons, full command and Magic Banner – 310 points  -35 points, the change to the Mark of Tzeentch makes no change to the cost, but the cost of Great Weapons goes up 1 point, the command models drop 20 points and the Champion loses his magic item.
Q - 3 Dragon Ogres with great weapons and Champion – 214 points  -37 points, each basic Dragon Ogre has decreased 5 points, and the Great Weapons have decreased 4 points each. The Champion upgrade falls by 10 points.
R - 3 Dragon Ogres with great weapons – 204 points  -27 points, each basic Dragon Ogre has decreased 5 points, and the Great Weapons have decreased 4 points each.
S - 4 Chaos Trolls – 140 points  -40 points, each Troll has fallen by 10 points in value, though there Mutant Regeneration has been replaced by standard Regeneration, so they don't roll on the Eye of the Gods table any more.
T - 5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch, full command and Magic Banner – 305 points  -15 points, change to the Mark of Tzeentch drops 10 points for the unit, command models drop 20 points in total, however Ensorcelled Weapons are no longer standard and cost 3 points a model.

RARE

U - Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch – 70 points  +15 points, basic Chaos Spawn drops 5 points, but the Mark of Tzeentch goes up 10 replacing the 6+ Ward with a breath weapon.
V - Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch – 70 points +15 points, basic Chaos Spawn drops 5 points, but the Mark of Tzeentch goes up 10 replacing the 6+ Ward with a breath weapon.
W - Chaos Giant with Mark of Tzeentch – 215 points -25 points, the Giant falls 20 points in value and the Mark of Tzeentch drops another 5 points.

TOTAL: 5,434 points  +35 points.

Which breaks down as:

Lords: 1,427 points (26.19%)  -4 points (-0.24%)
Heroes: 1,148 points (21.13%)  +33 points (+0.48%)
Core: 1,335 points (24.57%)  +280 points (+5.03%) – note Warhounds now count as Core
Special: 1,173 points (21.59%)  -154 points (-2.99%)
Rare: 335 points (6.53%)  -20 points (-0.42%)

So the army climbs by only a few points, with increases in the Marauders balanced by falls elsewhere. Pleasingly the army creeps towards being legal as the Core section rockets from the Marauders and the fact the Chaos Warhounds now count as core.

So congratulations to Mike who had the closest guess, you win all the love in my heart – which has both a real and cash value of nothing. Sorry!

The next question is of course, what do I add to my Warriors army next?

Characters

There's a handful of juicy new character models, I'm not totally sure on the new plastic Chaos Lord on foot, and to be honest I have a lot of Chaos Hero on foot models already painted up. However Vilitch looks perfect my Tzeentch army, and a lovely model to boot. Throgg can also climb onboard, I have Chaos Trolls and non-marked people who can't have a mark are welcome! Would be fun to add some special characters. Other than that I already own a Chaos Lord on Manticore that I must finally assemble and paint, and recently have picked up the amazing Chaos Lord on Daemonic Steed model. It's brilliant and I can't believe it's taken me so long to get.

Core

With the Foresaken and Chaos Chariot models both gaining brand new models and jumping from Special allowance to the Core there's lots of choices here. I have to say I like both of these models – for me the Foresaken look great, not too cartoony, and with the mutations looking like they've burst out of the Chaos Armour. My favourite model in the set though is the new Chaos Chariot which I absolutely love.

All that said my first stop will be another unit of Chaos Warriors, for me a Warriors army has to have Warriors in and it would be nice to have an alternative to my Warriors with hand weapons and shields. The questions is what shall I arm them with, of course they will have the Mark of Tzeentch, but is it extra hand weapons, halberds or great weapons? The main advantage is that extra hand weapons come on the sprue, the other options have to be bought separately as Finecast. Also how big should the unit be, a hoard seems too many? I already have one box of 12, should I add another 12 or 24? Thoughts please on what weapons and unit size to go for please?!!

Special

The Special section gets a handful of new bits and pieces here, the Gorebeast Chariot – which uses that wonderful Chariot kit again, and leaves you two spare horses in case you happen to need filling for a Findus Beef Lasagne. The Chimera kit, from Storm of Magic, which I'm not a huge fan of now joins the fray. Of course there's the new Dragon Ogres, which are amazing, but I already have six of the old ones – who do look a little pathetic now. Sad face. Getting the new models is probably not a priority. Oh and by the way I'm not rebasing my existing Dragon Ogres to the new size, tough, don't care, don't like it don't play me! There said it – can't be bothered.

Other options for my Special choices are the Hellstriders – really Slaanesh, I don't think so. More Chaos Knights tempt me, lances are a lot cheaper now so maybe an alternate unit option? Chaos Ogres – yeah seen the models, probably a no... maybe I could convert some nice ones from an Ogre kit? I have a Chaos Warshrine awaiting construction so think that will be up next.

Rare

Quite a few options for the Rare section. Had already been tempted by the Hellcannon now it's Finecast and easier to construct. Never seem to see a Shaggoth on the table, but I do quite like the model and having looked in the White Dwarf he doesn't seem out of place with the new or old Dragon Ogres. The Slaughterbrute and Mutalith Vortex Beast, not totally sure about, the model is growing on me though. Think the Slaughterbrute is my favourite – main problem is how do you get the big models to the club?! Lastly there's the Skullcrushers of Khorne – I love these models, love them. But they are not Tzeentch. Booo. And before you start, no I am not one of those people who is going to paint them as if they had a Mark of Tzeentch. Skullcrushers much like my jokes really should be Khorney. Get it? Get it? And if that joke doesn't get at least 50 replies telling me how clever I am, I'm stopping writing the blog. This is a peak – appreciate it people.

Many choices, hopefully you'll be seeing some of them on the blog very soon!

97.4  – Get In Touch

You know the drill, here's some stuff you can comment on if you want.


As always I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers so please find me and love me!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 11, 2013, 12:39:05 pm
I thin k the warriors should have halberds, even if you cant give them the angry banner anymore. Im thinking of using 2 such units (Khorne though) I with movement banner and one with flaming.

As I'm all about the heavy infantry being what warriors is all about I'd go for 15-20 in each block.

With regard to what to add I suppose it comes down to how you want the army to play - chariots look likley to be pretty good and I'll be giveing a (proxy) gorebeast chariot or 2 a run out tonight against G. Actually it will be 2 normal chariots and 2 gorebeats ones.

I will probably stick an overview of the battle on my own blog, 'The Art of Rolling 1's', so you can see how they do.

I should possible also issue a statement of regret for the cheeky plug. So...I regret any inconvenience it may have caused.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2013, 11:10:50 am
Quote from: roland murat on February 11, 2013, 12:39:05 pm
I thin k the warriors should have halberds, even if you cant give them the angry banner anymore. Im thinking of using 2 such units (Khorne though) I with movement banner and one with flaming.

As I'm all about the heavy infantry being what warriors is all about I'd go for 15-20 in each block.

Halberds really? I was hoping you were going to say extra hand weapons - they come on the sprue! No purchasing of extra bits, no converting. It's so simple! No? Agree on size think I'll go for 24 - two sets of 12. Going to order the nice Tzeentch banner bits for them though!

Quote from: roland murat on February 11, 2013, 12:39:05 pm
With regard to what to add I suppose it comes down to how you want the army to play - chariots look likley to be pretty good and I'll be giveing a (proxy) gorebeast chariot or 2 a run out tonight against G. Actually it will be 2 normal chariots and 2 gorebeats ones.

I will probably stick an overview of the battle on my own blog, 'The Art of Rolling 1's', so you can see how they do.

I should possible also issue a statement of regret for the cheeky plug. So...I regret any inconvenience it may have caused.

Cheeky plugs are allowed, given how much plugging I do it would be remiss of me to say no! What did you think of the chariots, really want to add a normal horsey one and probably more!

Any other thoughts peeps?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 12, 2013, 12:57:02 pm
If you've got a few of the knight sprues the lances on those models work well as halberds on the warriors saving on any additional purchases being required.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2013, 01:25:41 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 12, 2013, 12:57:02 pm
If you've got a few of the knight sprues the lances on those models work well as halberds on the warriors saving on any additional purchases being required.

Good tip. Sadly only have 5 lances at present - unit of 5 Warriors anyone?  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 12, 2013, 05:28:49 pm
Use them for the front rank and the rest dont matter so much
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2013, 05:44:03 pm
Quote from: roland murat on February 12, 2013, 05:28:49 pm
Use them for the front rank and the rest dont matter so much

Dispicable! I can't do that, everything must be properly modelled exactly as it is at great expense to myself in order to accommodate my outrageous OCD.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on February 12, 2013, 05:54:56 pm
CDO! It does annoy me when people don't put it in alphabetical order.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 12, 2013, 06:02:25 pm
COD! I like fish. This has got random.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 13, 2013, 10:47:43 am
That might be a bit of a red herring matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 13, 2013, 01:25:16 pm
Quote from: roland murat on February 13, 2013, 10:47:43 am
That might be a bit of a red herring matt

When threads go bad!

So if I was to go halberds, realised I could use combination of the Games Workshop ones and spares from the Knight Sprue to do my 24, would you recommend going for shields to help whether the storm of crossbow fire they will attract?

If not any thought on what to model in the other hand?! As far as I'm aware the Warriors sprue doesn't come with empty second hands - just shields or extra weapons.

Thoughts? As always as I am my usually indecisive self!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 13, 2013, 05:49:56 pm
Andrew (Toast) used great weapons as halberds as they take both hands up.

As for whether to use shields it depends on how many missile weaons/magic missiles you expect to face. Also, I think the choice comes down to the rest of the build - are the warriors going to attract the firepower? If so, go for it otherwise the points are best spent elsewhere.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on February 13, 2013, 06:01:37 pm
Aren't you planning on buying another box of Knights anyway? Might be able to get one or two from each Chariot you make, too. Then you have command taking three spaces in the unit... Then you'll have loads of spare halberds! I'd add shields too, definitely.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 13, 2013, 07:29:02 pm
Much like this yogurt tomorrow I turn bad.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2473.jpg)

Stupid Valentine's Day.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 14, 2013, 01:20:47 pm
Just 5 knights matt, surely you need at least 2 units of 10, you know for symmetry...  Start of another 10,000pts army?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2013, 02:38:02 pm
Quote from: Dave on February 14, 2013, 01:20:47 pm
Just 5 knights matt, surely you need at least 2 units of 10, you know for symmetry...  Start of another 10,000pts army?

Hush now. Stop it. Maybe. To be honest lances are a lot cheaper now so maybe worth it. Maybe. But how many do I need 40? A Horde of Knights too many? Stop.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Undead Dan on February 14, 2013, 04:03:46 pm
Remember this is a Tzeentch army so you ought to be sticking to the chosen number i.e. 9!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2013, 04:41:32 pm
Quote from: Undead Dan on February 14, 2013, 04:03:46 pm
Remember this is a Tzeentch army so you ought to be sticking to the chosen number i.e. 9!

But they come in packs of 5?!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 14, 2013, 05:32:55 pm
Two packs and convert 1 into an exalted. Job done
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 14, 2013, 08:12:10 pm
An odd shaped unit, I can't do it. They have to be rectangles. I just can't cope!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 98 – Look Who Is Dropping In Monday 18th February 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

98.1 – Meet the Team

With Valentine's Day just passed Matty still needs a lot of counselling, fortunately there's many members of the Procrastination by Numbers team available to help him out:

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty's had his wrist sewn back together by a specialist 24-hour carer, as he rocks back and forth in the corner of his room singing "All By Myself" in floods of tears – apparently Valentine's Day didn't go well.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been crying after someone explained to her she may have eaten a horse.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey actually got his paint brushes out for the first time in many months.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has spent the week perfecting drawing the question mark symbol with her branches. The dirty flirt!

98.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 3, Day 18

Last week I said...

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 11, 2013, 08:27:46 am
Skullcrushers much like my jokes really should be Khorney. Get it? Get it? And if that joke doesn't get at least 50 replies telling me how clever I am, I'm stopping writing the blog. This is a peak – appreciate it people.

And what happened? Not a single reply telling me how clever I am. Not one. Philistines. So that's it I'm going on strike. No blog. Enjoy internet silence instead.
































































Oh ok fair enough I'll write something, you probably meant to tell me how clever I was but were busy receiving Valentine's Cards.

Sodding, stupid, ruddy Valentine's Day. Even Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant has been cosying up to her new boyfriend.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2482.jpg)

It's alright though I've doubled my Beta Blockers and can move on, it's fine. IT'S FINE!

Sorry where was I?...

With February half-gone it's about bloody time I got a wriggle on and got some painting done. Good news the Dreadnought which is making up a big chunk of this month's tasks is coming along nicely.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2487.jpg)

For some reason my Dreadnought seems to have a special filter on it like Thunderbird 1 which prevents me from taking any in focus photos of it!

Last week I finished the blue using my proscribed method from Months 1 &2 so this week I've mainly been picking out the detail and desperately trying to avoid just slapping a simple silver coat over all the mechanical gubbines! Given the simplicity of the blue I think it's important I pick out a few details in some other colours so the model doesn't appear too simple. So some black casing, gold plating and coloured wires will hopefully add a little character to my Dreadnought friend.

With the Dreadnought nearing completion it was time to turn my attention to the other chunk of models for this month. The technical problem here, which happens very infrequently is that I literally had run out of models to paint – the entire contents of The Assault on Black Reach boxed set have been done. Bar the Orks. Not sure if I can have Ork allies at this early stage?

So it was time to pop along to OG Games and purchase myself the much talked about Space Marine Battle Force. I also did a little shopping from Olbay, it's much like eBay but friendlier as I purchased various second hand bits and bobs from our illustrious leader at a very good rate. Ol sold me a pre-assembled, non flat-pack, Drop Pod – which everyone said I needed. Plus there was a box of unassembled Assault Marines, and an old Tactical Squad sprue full of leftover bits and pieces which will be useful for kitting out my Squads. And if you were about to comment Ol has "seen me coming" and "ripped me off", please kindly keep those comments to yourself. After all he only charged £845 for the Drop Pod, seems perfectly reasonable.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2474.jpg)

With new purchase happily unwrapped, I decided that this month I fancied painting up the Assault Marines as something new but different. Yes technically the other bits and pieces in the box would provide the other Troops choice I need to make my army legal, but technically I've still not played Warhammer 40,000 so can do what I like blissfully unaware of the rights and wrongs of my actions. So there 40k police!

In attempting to work out my points this month I've come up against a slight quandary, according to the Assault on Black Reach manual my Dreadnought comes armed with a Multi-Melta, Storm Bolter and a Dreadnought Close Combat Weapon and costs 115 points.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2492.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2495.jpg)

However in Codex Space Marines, same Dreadnought comes will all this kit as basic and costs 105 points. Am I missing something, or have points changed for the new Codex?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2497.jpg)

I'm presuming the 105 points is the correct one to go with. In which case Month 3's purchases will be:

Dreadnought 105 points
105 points

Assault Squad 100 points
+ 3 Additional Space Marines (54 points – 3x 18 points)
+ Plasma Pistol (15 points)
169 points

TOTAL:  274 points

I intend to add 2 more Assault Marines, including the Sergeant model (and probably a guy with a Flamer), to the Squad as part of Month 4's purchases.

Combining this with the existing army gives me:

Space Marine Captain 100 points
100 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad 200 points
200 points

Dreadnought 105 points
105 points

Assault Squad 100 points
+ 3 Additional Space Marines (54 points – 3x 18 points)
+ Plasma Pistol (15 points)
169 points

TOTAL:  744 points

Which puts me 6 points short of my requisite 750 points, so I've made my little short fall over the previous months.

So far the Assault Marines have been assembled, well it's one way to spend Valentine's Day I suppose:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2475.jpg)

I moped up the tears of loneliness for this photo.

Assembly wasn't too bad, though I'm wary of the fact they have limited contact with the base so will probably fall to pieces instantly! Obviously I used the Jump Packs, seriously what is the point in either the unit or the kit if I don't do that:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2476.jpg)

Currently they're being subject to my trademark Matty-copyrighted blue recipe before we start detailing the exhausts and the Plasma Pistol and the like!

Slightly scarily there's only 10 days (including only one weekend hobby opportunity) left of February so I best start getting a wiggle on with these people!!

98.3  – Minotaurs and Doombull Painting Guide

Back in Update 96 I promised you I'd showcase some of the final bits and pieces of my Beastmen army, that I'd recently painted up, over the next few weeks. As you can see I clearly lied because none of them appeared in Update 97. So to make up for it here are some Minotaurs – my second unit of this fabulous kit which I've enjoyed painting just as much this time round. And also finally after several years I've got round to doing a Doombull!

My first unit had great weapons, so this unit I equipped with extra hand weapons. I could have gone for the hand weapon shield option, but frankly even I am not that stupid. Sorry talk about sub-optimal but that combo really is, I loved the shields as modelled though so I've added one to the bases of the Minotaurs, and they'll also pop up on some of the other stuff I show you over the next few weeks! The Minotaur musician struggles to look scary, so I cut his drum off his hand – hollowed out the place where the hand and drum connect, and attached it to his belt. I then chose the appropriate weapon so he looks like he's both going to beat his drum and beat you. Obviously in reality he'll be shot to pieces before he's even left my army case but hey ho!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2048.jpg)

The Doombull is the Finecast kit, which regardless of what you think of Finecast is amazing. A really crisp sculpt which fits together very well, I used a tiny bit of green stuff here and there but no more than on anything else. And it's so lightweight and stable; I imagine the metal version of this would have driven me to desperation! I've added him a little tree stump on the base, which was a real-life wooden twig sawn flat on the underside using the Razor Saw. I then moulded on the roots using green stuff.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2480.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1995.jpg)

So here's some finished pictures:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2038.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1986.jpg)

And here's that all important painting guide!! You know you love it.

Minotaurs and Doombull Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1104.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1121.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then Beastial Brown, then Snakebite Leather OR Drybrush 1:1 Chardonite Grantie, then Adeptus Battlegrey, then Codex Grey OR Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Straps: Scorched Brown
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Tree Bark: Chardonite Granite
Chainmail: Drybrush Boltgun Metal, then wash Devlan Mud


Minotaurs and Doombull Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1542.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1529.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Badab Black
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Badab Black
Flesh:  Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Fur: Wash Badab Black
Red Fabric: Wash Devlan Mud
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Straps: Wash Badab Black
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tin Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Gold Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tree Bark: Wash Nuln Oil
Chainmail: NONE


Minotaurs and Doombull Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2478.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2479.jpg)

Base: NONE
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Dheneb Stone
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh:  Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1(1:1 Blood Red/Mechrite Red)/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Rocks: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Tree Bark: Selectively drybrush Camo Green
Chainmail: NONE


Minotaurs and Doombull Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2038.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2045.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2057.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2065.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1986.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1999.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2005.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2008.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock Scorched Grass and Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh:  Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Highlight 3:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown, then highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Highlight Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then Highlight Mithril Silver
Tree Bark: NONE
Chainmail: NONE


98.4  – Get In Touch

That is it for this week, hopefully next week I will have some completed February Ultramarines to show you, plus some more Beastmen and very much hopefully I won't have accidentally bought a Stormraven kit and painted it blue!

The numerically literate amongst you can't fail to have noticed the fact that we are rapidly approaching the 100th update! So I shall hopefully be working on preparing something appropriate for such a tragically depressing milestone.

In the meantime why not get in touch, here's some things you could talk about:


As always I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers so please find me and love me, retweet all my tweets and make me feel special!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 18, 2013, 12:37:05 pm
* Use the cost in the Codex
* I like them
* Me (if only they would drop the requirement of being Roman Catholic - as technically I'm part of the more universal type of catholic)
* Using an SM army is a silly chioce, and I should no, so on that basis all the selections are valid.
* How about a whole army giveaway. Too much?? Oh well!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 02:32:00 pm
Quote from: roland murat on February 18, 2013, 12:37:05 pm
* Use the cost in the Codex
* I like them

Thanking you!

Quote from: roland murat on February 18, 2013, 12:37:05 pm
* Using an SM army is a silly chioce, and I should no, so on that basis all the selections are valid.

Fair enough, a good point to remember as I buy exactly what I fancy!  :cool3:

Quote from: roland murat on February 18, 2013, 12:37:05 pm
* How about a whole army giveaway. Too much?? Oh well!

Nice try,... no.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 19, 2013, 08:59:53 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 02:32:00 pm
What points cost should my Dreadnought actually be?
What do you think of the Beastmen models?
Who should be the next Pope?
Were Assault Marines a stupid choice?
What should I be doing for the 100th update, other than giving up?
105 looks right, AoBR being an out of print boxset is usually a pretty good guide to ignore it.
Like the beasts, unlike the GW ones the skin tone actually seems to work with the big hulking brutes.
What's a pope?
Look at the models, now imagine them all boosted up on bits of wire flying through the sky, cut them off the bases and enjoy doing silly poses of models on the end of paperclips, then realise they're far too top heavy and glue a bunch of 2ps to the bottom of their bases so they don't always fall over... Err I mean, yeah they are quite cool.
100th update should be a load of tosh with a bit of rambling and possible a smidge of relevance... Same as usual then.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 19, 2013, 11:33:26 am
Quote from: Dave on February 19, 2013, 08:59:53 am
105 looks right, AoBR being an out of print boxset is usually a pretty good guide to ignore it.

Yeah I thought so, for some reason I seem to remember looking at it once before and working out why it was right that it was 115 points. But now I can't see that logic again. So thought I best check with the community.

Quote from: Dave on February 19, 2013, 08:59:53 am
Like the beasts, unlike the GW ones the skin tone actually seems to work with the big hulking brutes.

Thanks very much. I see what Games Workshop were trying to do in emphasising the human heritage of the Beastmen by painting them in lighter flesh tones, but for me it just doesn't work. I like my Beasties brown like a Chocolate Labrador... ooo a chocolate minotaur - delicious!

Quote from: Dave on February 19, 2013, 08:59:53 am
Look at the models, now imagine them all boosted up on bits of wire flying through the sky, cut them off the bases and enjoy doing silly poses of models on the end of paperclips, then realise they're far too top heavy and glue a bunch of 2ps to the bottom of their bases so they don't always fall over... Err I mean, yeah they are quite cool.

I absolutely have not been flying them around my room imagining they are real. Honest.  :blush:

Quote from: Dave on February 19, 2013, 08:59:53 am
100th update should be a load of tosh with a bit of rambling and possible a smidge of relevance... Same as usual then.

Same as usual, but probably longer I'm imagining. If that's even possible!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
In the meantime why not get in touch, here's some things you could talk about:

A bit late to the party but here goes.

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
  • What points cost should my Dreadnought actually be?

105, go with the codex over the black reach booklet.

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
  • What do you think of the Beastmen models?

They look good, very angry (HULK SMASH!)

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
  • Who should be the next Pope?

Someone from the Catholic Church.

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
  • Were Assault Marines a stupid choice?

No, they're not optimal but not stupid either. They do look good and I imagine will probably be fun to use in a laid back/non tourney game.

Quote from: cunningmatt on February 18, 2013, 08:21:04 am
  • What should I be doing for the 100th update, other than giving up?

Well you painted all that dreadfleet stuff last year, why don't you do a battle report of it going through all the scenarios and talking about it on here.

Regarding your Space Marines, when you build the assault marine sergeant give him a powerfist, and since you have two assault marine kits you shouls have two powerfists, give the spare one to your next tactical squad sergeant from the battleforce when you build it.

Also since you're going to have 10 assault marines a Chaplin with jumpback might be a good idea. The Chaplin allows a unit he joins to re-roll failed rolls to hit in combat so useful for a large assault unit.


Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 19, 2013, 03:11:56 pm
Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
A bit late to the party but here goes.

Comments late or otherwise are always very much appreciated. So feel free comment ahead!

Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
They look good, very angry (HULK SMASH!)

Many thanks they were real fun to paint!

Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
No, they're not optimal but not stupid either. They do look good and I imagine will probably be fun to use in a laid back/non tourney game.

Phew, I only play laid back games - I cannot be serious. I own a plant called Sandra, I just can't be!

Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
Well you painted all that dreadfleet stuff last year, why don't you do a battle report of it going through all the scenarios and talking about it on here.

With maps and everything?... No!  :wink;m::

Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
Regarding your Space Marines, when you build the assault marine sergeant give him a powerfist, and since you have two assault marine kits you shouls have two powerfists, give the spare one to your next tactical squad sergeant from the battleforce when you build it.

Also since you're going to have 10 assault marines a Chaplin with jumpback might be a good idea. The Chaplin allows a unit he joins to re-roll failed rolls to hit in combat so useful for a large assault unit.

Hoping to have a game on Thursday so I can work out how the basic game works!! Deliberately left the Sergeant out for this month so I could have the experience of a couple of games to decide what I fancy equipping him with. Wasn't too worried about the plasma pistol as could always take them as a squad of 5 without if he proved to be foolish!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2013, 10:37:46 am
Can't work out if this is bad news about some of you at the club, or means we may get new members soon!! Either way it amused me:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/terrorism-appealing-to-nerds-2013022260640 (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/terrorism-appealing-to-nerds-2013022260640)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 22, 2013, 12:19:44 pm
I thought that article was the bomb.

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 22, 2013, 05:18:40 pm
Quote from: The Trampoline on February 19, 2013, 01:08:57 pm
Also since you're going to have 10 assault marines a Chaplin with jumpback might be a good idea. The Chaplin allows a unit he joins to re-roll failed rolls to hit in combat so useful for a large assault unit.

Very good idea, I used him to great effect when I was pushing codex marines around, only downside is the Chaplain is only Ap4 in CC, so avoid challenges against characters with AP3 weapons or fists...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 25, 2013, 11:53:55 am
Quote from: fatolaf on February 22, 2013, 05:18:40 pm
Very good idea, I used him to great effect when I was pushing codex marines around, only downside is the Chaplain is only Ap4 in CC, so avoid challenges against characters with AP3 weapons or fists...

Sounds like a good idea, need to work out who or what my other character will be!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 25, 2013, 12:35:36 pm
Given the points cost of stuff I think nmarine armies only really need 1 HQ option.

For the cost of a second character you can get a dred, a handful of transports or a tank
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on February 25, 2013, 04:43:37 pm
But librarians are so cool. Plus because the fluff you get to paint their armour blue regardless of chapter so they'd stand out nicely from the ultramarines... Oh.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 27, 2013, 12:02:11 am
Quote from: Dave on February 25, 2013, 04:43:37 pm
But librarians are so cool. Plus because the fluff you get to paint their armour blue regardless of chapter so they'd stand out nicely from the ultramarines... Oh.

I was worried I might not be able to paint them blue. Phew!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 27, 2013, 08:45:35 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 99 – This One's Got A Flake In It Wednesday 27th February 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

99.1 – Meet the Team

Procrastination by Numbers isn't just a one horse lasagne, there's a team of people working to bring you the bestest most up to date hobby content. They largely fail, but that doesn't seem like a reason not to introduce them.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

Matty has spent today wondering why he didn't win the Oscar for best blog.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been wondering which Daemons are her favourite colour; currently the purple of Slaanesh is winning through.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

Mr Shakey Shakey has spent the week drybrushing his Treekin, he meant to paint them regularly but his shakey hands are ideal for drybrushing.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is pleased to see that the brand new PS4 will feature a special plant control pad allowing her to destroy all comers at Grand Theft Auto.

99.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 2, Day 27

With February disappearing faster than a shipment of diamonds at Brussels airport, the good news is that I have finished this month's Ultramarine offerings to the god Ultramar – god of blue plastic coatings.

But before I show you the fruits of my endeavour, I have something deeply controversial to say about my Ultramarine painting efforts. Brace yourself.

Are you braced?

Really?

Sure?

Ok. I don't like weathering on my tanks. There I've said it. I don't. Don't get me wrong some of the models I've seen on this forum, at the club and in the wider Games Workshop community look amazing. Beautifully distressed tanks, with chipped and weathered paintwork, dirty exhaust tracks and oily pipework. They look amazing, and I absolutely encourage people to do this. But it's not for me.

I know it's slightly against the ethics and background of the Warhammer 40,000 galaxy, but I like my tanks to look pristine, I want them to look factory fresh and nice and neat. So that said I have not done any weathering on my Dreadnought. If it makes you feel better I'm imagining my Ultramarines force has been recently been deployed after a period on Ultramar where I'm sure one of the Techmarine's many arms has been holding a paint brush and neatening up all those inevitable scuffs that the hardware would have received over the years.

So there I've said it, I'm sure people will disagree – but they're my Ultramarines so tough. I am actually considering at some point making wrecked versions of my tanks, dreadnoughts etc, to use should they get destroyed in battle. It would be quite fun to blow massive chunks out of the chassis and framework and go crazy with the distressing. So there before you think I'm lazy, I'm more considering going for two extremes – pristine and wrecked. Perhaps if I ever decide to paint the Orks from my Assault on Black Reach box they'd be chipped and smashed to buggery.

As regards the Dreadnought, I've left his arms as separate as there seems no point on fixing them when they sit so snugly and can be adjusted for fun poses during the game! Also I intend to drill out the gun holes in the Multi Melta – it's just I don't have an appropriate sized drill with me, but my parents do. So that will be something nice to do on Mothering Sunday. I know logic would be to do the drilling first, but otherwise either the Dreadnought wouldn't get finished on time, or I'd have to make an unscheduled and unnecessary visit to the family – ewww!

Without further ado here's said un-battle damaged Dreadnought.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2511.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2515.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2518.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2520.jpg)

Next up it's the 8 Assault Marines, really pleased at how quick I got through these. A couple of evenings assembling and gluing, last weekend spent painting the blue at Mr Shakey Shakey's house and then a couple of evenings this week and this weekend spent finishing the details.

Remember I plan to add a Sergeant and a 10th Marine as part of next month's tasks as I ran out of points so far!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2524.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2528.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2535.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2539.jpg)

Which gives "my army so far" photo:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2574.jpg)

This week I took my 744 points to fight Tom and his Chaos Space Marines in an introductory game of Warhammer 40,000. Tom hasn't really played that much, and this was my first ever Warhammer 40,000 battle so as you can imagine confusion ensued. Thankfully there were a number of clever spectators around to give us a hand and some encouragement, and explain what the hell was going on.

I actually won the game, as unlikely as it sounds. I say won to be honest I was just rolling dice as and when I was told so I don't think my tactical deviousness was a factor. Still I'm strongly considering quitting Warhammer 40,000 now so that I can claim an unbeatable 100% performance record!

Here's a list of the useful things I found out, in my inaugural game:

I need a Warhammer 40,000 rulebook... Yeah, my thoughts that I could absorb the basic rules through osmosis and having held a copy of the previous edition book turned out to be unfounded. Think I'm going to need to actually read the book..., shocking. Given I can't be arsed to lug around the giant version of the rule book that you could conceivably use to beat a Blue Whale to death with, I need to pick up a copy of the small book. Or end up buying the Dark Vengeance box set..., but then what would I do with all those new beautiful figures... uh-oh this could end badly.

My basing is genius... Turns out by complete fluke/coincidence my chosen basing matches perfectly with one of the tables at the OG Games club.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2499.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2500.jpg)

So from now on this will be declared my regular table, I will not be allowed to play Warhammer 40,000 anywhere else. And anyone on this table when I wish to use it will be thrown off the table. So there you go.

Terrain is important... Not only can you take arty photos through it...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2501.jpg)

But it's also useful for hiding your hiding models so they don't get blown up.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2503.jpg)

As Tom found out (slash already knew) when his Hellbrute got blown up by my Dreadnought's Multi-Melta. Still he took it well. Eeekkk...

Dice... These work in the same way in Warhammer 40,000 as in Warhammer. Good to know.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2502.jpg)

Though apparently the one that always makes your war machines blow up isn't used. Good news all round.

Models can Deep Strike... Surprisingly this has nothing to do with London Underground Drivers regular method of working, but instead refers to how models arrive on the battlefield later in the game.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2504.jpg)

And Deep Striking is clearly such a nice experience, look at these Chaos ermm... thing-a-me..., blipity things... cuddling as they arrive on the battlefield.

No matter what... ...saying the word "Penetration" during a game of Warhammer 40,000 is absolutely not funny at all. No, no, not all. Far better to spend the evening discussing Su Pollard's career and not paying any attention to the rules. Yeah sorry about that everyone involved.

Anyway fingers crossed the next game will see me actually understand the game well enough to tell you what happened! Who knows?

99.3 – Matt's Great Bitz Take Off

I started this thread over on the Bitz section of the forum, but given the popularity of this very blog (cough, cough, don't all rush to agree) I've reposted here. Basically I'm on the hunt for stuff for a number of projects, so anything you can do to help would be greatly appreciated.

Like Mary Berry I'm on the hunt for the perfect ingredients for a home made hobby masterpiece, and I'm quite partial to discussing a soggy bottom (but that's not helpful here).

So if anyone can provide me with any of the following bits and pieces on Dale's Supermarket Sweep shopping list, I am happy to offer repayment in bits, currency, alcohol beverages, cake or giant inflatable burgers I've stolen from the supermarket isle. (The latter probably won't be available). So here goes:

1. Warhammer 40,000 Small Edition Rule Book

This is such a ridiculously long shot, that I've got more chance of finding a lifelong partner here. But hey, much like my uni friends described Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter films, it's worth a go. Anyone got one of these kicking around that aren't needed any more? Generous repayment available, else I have to buy the boxed set and inevitable start a Dark Angels and Chaos Space Marines army, please save me from that!

2. Moonscape Crater

Anyone got a singular crater from the Moonscape pack I could pilfer, think one with some subtle conversions could look good on my home Fantasy battlefield - but I reckon five might look a bit odd!! Ideally after one of the one that is not a double crater.

3. Chaos Knight Lance Arms

Going to use these to make halberds for my Chaos Warriors (as discussed on everyone's favourite blog!  :wink;m::), given in the last edition Chaos Knights were best equipped with Ensorcelled Weapons, and that Chaos Knights are apparently now completely sub-optimal in this edition I should imagine there's a fare few kicking around. So before you chuck your Chaos Knights in the bin could you see if you can prize off any lance arms and send them my way?

4. Ultramarines Transfers

Wondering if anyone has any Ultramarine (or generic Space Marine - e.g. crosses/arrows etc.) transfers kicking around of various shapes and sizes. Have quite a few now from the Space Marine battle force, but there don't seem to be many spares for my inevitable cock ups, plus different sizes would be good. If anyone has the ones for the Drop Pod kit that would be amazing as I have acquired a second hand Pod? Potentially I can swap these for transfers from the other Chapters provided on my existing sheet for anyone as stupid as me who is also doing Space Marines!

Many thanks for reading you're help is appreciated! I hope I can offer you favourable trades.

99.4 – Razorgor Chariot Painting Guide

As mention in Updates 96 and 98 I've finished my Beastmen Army and have been showing off the last few bits and pieces in preparation for assembling the army for a big photo shoot! Whoop!

So this week, I'm showing my last two models to make up the army. First up we have the Razorgor Chariot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2109.jpg)

There's no model for the Razorgor Chariot, but Razorgors and Tuskgor Chariots are available as separate kits so I planned to combine these.

I've built both these kits before as metal kits, and they both (especially the Razorgor) were absolute pigs (ironic) to construct and tried my patience way beyond breaking point. Pleasingly these models have since been released in Finecast and are a hell of a lot easier to put together. Anyone who has put together the metal Razorgor will surely agree with me that any price rise would be welcome so as to avoid having to build the fecking metal Razorgor ever again! Rant over.

Whilst this looks like a relatively simple conversion, it's a little more complicated than first appearance. Despite Games Workshop's insistence to the contrary Finecast's problem is that it doesn't actually reshape as easily as they suggest. Yes you can bend it under hot water, but it tends to return to it's original shape as cooled, this memory would be an excellent property in something like optician's glasses say, but not so helpful in conversions. Also the frame of the chariot whilst able to reach over a pair of Tuskgor easily, struggles to cover the ample frame of a fully powered Razorgor.

What I ended up doing, rather than trying to reshape the frame, was cutting up the yoke and struts. And then pinning them back together using excess rod to lengthen the appropriate bits of frame.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1768.jpg)

I then used green stuff to cover these, modelling the wood was relatively easy, just squaring the green stuff to match the original frame dimensions. I then easily marked in the grooves of the grain really easily.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2069.jpg)

At the large bends where the frame wraps around the Razorgor, I moulded on some binding to match the existing detail on the chariot. Again relatively easy to green stuff, squaring off again, but this time wider than the chariot frame and adding in grooves to mark out the binding.

Anyway enough waffling, I know you've just wanted to get to the Painting Guide so you can scroll through it really quickly ignoring it.

Razorgor Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1324.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Razorgor Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then Beastial Brown, then Snakebite Leather OR Drybrush 1:1 Chardonite Grantie, then Adeptus Battlegrey, then Codex Grey OR Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Straps: Scorched Brown
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Chainmail: Drybrush Boltgun Metal, then wash Devlan Mud
Elf Flesh: Dwarf Flesh
Elf Hair: Vomit Brown
Mouth: Liche Purple


Razorgor Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1534.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Razorgor Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Hooves and Horns: Wash Badab Black
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Badab Black
Flesh:  Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Fur: Wash Badab Black
Red Fabric: Wash Devlan Mud
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Straps: Wash Badab Black
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tin Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Gold Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Chainmail: NONE
Elf Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Elf Hair: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Mouth: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink


Razorgor Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2505.jpg)

Base: NONE
Razorgor Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Dheneb Stone
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh:  Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1(1:1 Blood Red/Mechrite Red)/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Chainmail: NONE
Elf Flesh: Wash watered down Ogyrn Flesh
Elf Hair: Drybrush Vomit Brown
Mouth: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White


Razorgor Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2128.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2115.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2117.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock Scorched Grass and Citadel Snow
Razorgor Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then Elf Flesh
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh:  Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Highlight 3:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown, then highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Highlight Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Chainmail: NONE
Elf Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then Bleached Bone
Elf Hair: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Mouth: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Devlan Mud/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green


99.5 – Ghorgon Painting Guide

The Ghorgon represents the final missing unit choice for my Beastmen army! Yes that's right, final choice! Whoop!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2087.jpg)

The Ghorgon was pretty much built as seen in the box, I was however careful to ensure I chose the parts to try and give the Ghorgon as different an "outline" as my existing Cygor. By which I mean to try and make them look like different models on brief inspection, it's clearly obvious they are the same kit, but hopefully they look a little different on first look. The arms really help as they have very different positions, but I made sure the head I used was very different to the one used on the Cygor. All the various bits and pieces hanging from the belts and frames were selected to be different. I predominately went for extra skulls on the Ghorgon, there were lots to start with!! Whereas the Cygor had the various bits of magical rocks and masonry! I also added one of the Minotaur shields to the Ghorgon's back, they're so good they needed to be used, and swapped the spear head at the top of the back for a different one. In fairness this was mainly as the original broke off when I knocked it on the floor and I subsequently couldn't find it!!

I know you can't wait. Here's the guide:

Ghorgon Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1098.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then Beastial Brown, then Snakebite Leather
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Chardonite Granite
Straps: Scorched Brown
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Mouth: Liche Purple
Tree Bark: Chardonite Granite


Ghorgon Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1488.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Badab Black
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Badab Black
Flesh:  Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Fur: Wash Badab Black
Red Fabric: Wash Devlan Mud
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Straps: Wash Badab Black
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Tin Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Gold Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Mouth: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink
Tree Bark: Wash Nuln Oil


Ghorgon Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2506.jpg)

Base: NONE
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Dheneb Stone
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Flesh:  Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1(1:1 Blood Red/Mechrite Red)/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Mouth: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White
Tree Bark: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green


Ghorgon Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2079.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2092.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2094.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2097.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2100.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2105.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone, then flock Scorched Grass and Citadel Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Layer Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh:  Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Highlight 3:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown, then highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Highlight Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Straps: Highlight Beastial Brown
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Mouth: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Devlan Mud/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Tree Bark: NONE


99.6  – Get In Touch

That's it for this week's Procrastination by Numbers, Update 99! Yep join us next week for a bumper edition (who knew it could be longer?!) 100th edition of Procrastination by Numbers.

We'll be looking back at the last 100 editions of Procrastination by Numbers, looking forward to Month 3's Ultramarine purchases, seeing the full army shot of the finished Beastmen army! Finally! Plus there'll be a new competition and the return of the Procrastination by Numbers awards. Yeah with Oscars season, it's time to choose your favourite models of 2012! So make sure you get yourself involved.

In the meantime, why not get in touch and tell us what you think about the following list of exciting details and any other bits and pieces you can think of?


Remember you can follow me on Twitter @ProByNumbers if you do you get to see exciting things like this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2507.png)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on February 27, 2013, 10:13:27 pm
In my defence it was also my first game of 40K.  I'd just had a leaf through the rule book.

Things I learned -

...why people looked at me funny when I said, well, I think two Helbrutes in a list will be effective.

...why troops armed only with assault weapons should *never* Deepstrike.

...that Penetration rolls are non-stop comedy gold.

And Matt, the Dread looks ace.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 28, 2013, 10:19:47 am
Quote from: TkaiC on February 27, 2013, 10:13:27 pm
In my defence it was also my first game of 40K.  I'd just had a leaf through the rule book.

Sorry wasn't sure how much experience you'd had - didn't mean to accuses you of being more knowledgable than you actually are!

Quote from: TkaiC on February 27, 2013, 10:13:27 pm
Things I learned -

...that Penetration rolls are non-stop comedy gold.

Smirk!!

Quote from: TkaiC on February 27, 2013, 10:13:27 pm
And Matt, the Dread looks ace.

Many thanks dude, usually my photos betray me but these ones seemed to make the model appear a lot better than it actually is!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 11, 2013, 08:51:42 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 100 – A Century of Procrastinating Monday 11th March 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGO100.jpg)

Coming up on this week's Procrastination by Numbers:

100.1 – Meet the Team

To celebrate the 100th update of Procrastination by Numbers all the team have got their glad rags on and are ready to party!

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matty has been trying to avoid being invited to the 100th edition party, he hates parties, happy people and social situations. 100 updates and still the same old Matty.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has got excited about Party Rings, pass the parcel and the potential of a 100th Update present. Matty's got her some sweets, like all kids of today, she's hoping for an iPad Mini.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

Tragedy struck the 100th Update party this week when Mr Shakey Shakey was tasked with carrying the cake in to the party room. But in a stunningly quick ploy the cake has been rebranded Upside Down Cake, and can now be served off the carpet.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant organised the flowers for the 100th Update party, well she turned up. Saved on the budget. Until disaster happened when Matty got confused thinking it was a wedding and threw Sandra like a bunch of flowers.

100.2 – 100 Updates: The History of Procrastination

Finally Procrastination by Numbers has reached its 100th Update. I know what you're thinking... it feels like longer. It certainly does. Back on Tuesday 9th of August 2011 Procrastination by Numbers was born, which was also the last day of the London Riots. Coincidence, I think not. I gave London what it wanted, and it replied. Perhaps.

Since that time we've had approximately 38,000 page views, 1,500 tweets, 65 pages featuring 964 posts. There's been two Advent Calendars, numerous battle reports, more painting guides than you could possibly ignore. And I've painted 456 models, worth over 8,731 points. God I need to get out more.

To mark this momentous occasion, it's time to look back at 100 Updates of Procrastination by Numbers, and see where it all went wrong.

Updates 1-10: 9th August 2011 to 2nd September 2011, pages 1-5

Procrastination by Numbers launched to a fanfare of silence back in the summer of 2011. Taking over from the much loved Tale of OG Gamers – High Elves, we talked about a range of exciting topics including how the London Riots lead to the breaking of my High Elf Griffon. I boasted about how I'd snapped up the Chaos Lord on Manticore and how that would be painted really soon.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers014.jpg)

And yep you've guessed it, it's still sitting unpainted on my desk. In fact there was so little painting in the early days that readers actually asked if this was still a painting blog. In order to prove it was, I was forced to paint up a horde of 40 Marauders, who have now been rendered totally useless by the new Warriors of Chaos book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/France2011173.jpg)

I also discussed how much I hate football, how to make your own face out of Angel Delight and I launched the exciting Guess the Number of Chairs competition. Where you got to guess the number of chairs in my holiday villa.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers050.jpg)

Yes the early days of Procrastination by Numbers were literally THAT exciting.

Updates 11-20: 8th September 2011 to 2nd November 2011, pages 6-10

As Autumn drew in, Procrastination by Numbers returned to its roots with the rebirth of the Shakeaway milkshake. Including a guide on how to order your own milkshake:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers054.jpg)

I also talked about how I chat to pot plants at weddings, as I met one of Sandra's long lost relatives:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers052.jpg)

In other non-hobby news I discussed how annoying WHSmith's is, it's still annoying nothing has changed, and how I was forced to paint on a Mediterranean Cruise Ship – my life sucks. No it doesn't hahaha!

Gaming wise we saw our first battle report of Procrastination by Numbers, as I wasted a large chunk of my life faithfully recreating the club's lava board. Seriously did I have nothing better to do? Oh yeah I still don't.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%204/DarkElfTurn2.jpg)

And painting wise it was time for the big guns as I painted up a pile of Warriors of Chaos characters and the vicious Swordmasters of Hoeth, meaning I finally finished my Island of Blood box set.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers478.jpg)

Updates 21-30: 9th November 2011 to 23rd December 2011, pages 11-17

The run up to Christmas saw the start of Matty's Top Tip, a new section where I provided top hobby tips which were then refuted by the readers. We also began the construction of the 50 High Elf Spearmen in 50 days project.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers842.jpg)

We discussed how socks are evil, which they are, how annoying it is when Games Workshop release lots of new models you want to buy when you have other hobby priorities and lack of funds. I accidentally purchased a massive High Elf box set, there was the second annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers965.jpg)

Plus I moaned about Christmas and voting opened for the 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards.

Updates 31-40: 24th December 2011 to 25th January 2012, pages 17-22

Early 2012 saw me purchase my first ever Finecast model – Tyrion for those interested. And I just about completed my 50 Spearmen in 50 Days challenge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1555.jpg)

I also secretly painted a unit of Silver Helms, which I sometimes even use. January saw my review of 2011 as I looked at the world of hobby and the real world with eye of a smug self-satisfied b**tard. I revealed my 2012 Hobby Resolutions, some of which I actually completed. Plus it saw the results of your votes for the 2011 Procrastination by Numbers Awards:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1848.jpg)

For those of you wondering what happened to the 2012 Awards, well read below because the good news is they may be late but they are definitely happening and you WILL be harassed for your votes. So surrender now, before I catch you!

Updates 41-50: 26th January 2012 to 23rd February 2012, pages 23-36

The cold lonely months of winter saw me moan about how much I hate clubbing. Plus I reviewed Annie's photography guide:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2249.jpg)

Which lead to fridge bombing taking off.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2088.jpg)

Don't ask it didn't make any sense then, so it certainly doesn't now.

I told you how I told my parents a big secret whilst playing Scrabble, teddies died for Valentine's Day, and I told the best High Elf jokes ever such as:

What is a High Elf's favourite type of tree?

A Silver Elm

Genius, genius!

And to celebrate 50 Updates of Procrastination by Numbers I wrote my first ever blog entry on Warhammer 40,000:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2572.jpg)

Updates 51-60: 29th February 2012 to 26th April 2012, pages 38-44

The Leap Year saw me leap into my box of Dreadfleet as I assembled the first ships of the fleet:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2640.jpg)

I moaned about ITV Play, fashionable shopping, The Apprentice and swimming whilst I painted up my first ever Dragon, which I was really pleased with:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers2840.jpg)

I also used a frozen bag of sweetcorn to assemble my first ever Finecast models, and spilt new types of glue everywhere. And in other news I turned 30, kill me now, and Games Workshop launched their brand new paint range.

Updates 61-70: 30th April 2012 to 8th June 2012, pages 44-48

April ended with me showing off my ace birthday cake:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3360.jpg)

I moaned about Eamonn Holmes (nothing new there), showed off this disturbing picture as I explained how to paint startled eyeballs:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers3369.jpg)

See your eyeballs are startled now. We discussed whether a fascist dictatorship would be that bad – conclusion: no. We talked children's television and the Beastmen returned from the dark. I moaned about the Jubilee and had to go painting in Hollywood – my life still really sucks!

Updates 71-80: 11th June 2012 to 29th August 2012, pages 49-52

2012's summer was spent moaning about football... again, sorry about that. I also showed off the disgusting food I'd been eating on the Dukan, and stripped to my pants and not my paints in an unfortunate mix up.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers4033.jpg)

Sorry for showing that photo again.

In gaming news I played my final ever game against Lee, before he vanished forever.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Battle%20Report%205/3HighElfTurn2.jpg)

There was some self-cratering, get it, get? As the Shakeaway fountain was created:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN222.jpg)

The Beastmen began their campaign and I picked up my first copy of Warhammer 40,000 which was instantly rendered obsolete by the launch of the next version.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN439.jpg)

Updates 81-90: 12th September 2012 to 14th November 2012, pages 52-57
Late summer saw Procrastination by Numbers turn into a less tedious version of Newsnight Review as we looked at Great British institutions including the Proms and the Olympics:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/DM42-8_zpsefd03c3e.jpg)

And we reviewed the new look White Dwarf which didn't include this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1020_zps2f6ecee4.jpg)

I finished painting up Teclis and a second High Elf Dragon to give myself a finished High Elf army!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN591.jpg)

I finally battled Mr Shakey Shakey, Procrastination by Numbers got a new look with our smart teal writing. Plus we delved into the world of Warhammer 40,000.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN441.jpg)

And introduced Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot to the world...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1136.jpg)

Updates 91-100: 29th November 2012 to 11th March 2013, pages 57-65

Winter 2012 saw the third version of the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar as yet more classics appeared for your memory.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV025.jpg)

The Paralympic Beastmen monster team got formed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1659.jpg)

I set myself some 2013 Hobby Resolutions and found out I didn't do that bad in 2012, plus I moaned about Helmets and went hobby crazy when I finished Dreadfleet:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2067.jpg)

I finally painted some Ultramarines after umming and ahhhing about what to buy:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2345.jpg)

I also updated my Warriors of Chaos army to fit the new army book and finally finished the Beastmen army. More on that later lucky people. And that's where we find ourselves today at Update 100!!

Here's to the next 100.

God I want to shoot myself.

100.3 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 4, Day 11

Yep I'm joining Month 4 of the Tale of OG Gamers about as late as Justin Beiber turns up for his own concert, but there we go.

As of last month my blossoming Ultramarine army reached the following position:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2574.jpg)

Which numerically breaks down as:

Space Marine Captain 100 points
100 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad 200 points
200 points

Dreadnought 105 points
105 points

Assault Squad 100 points
+ 3 Additional Space Marines (54 points – 3x 18 points)
+ Plasma Pistol (15 points)
169 points

TOTAL:  744 points

Leaving me with 256 points to spend this month. Rummaging in my Ultramarines Battle Force I've got two more Assault Marines to paint up, one of which I'll give a flamer to, as that seems fun. I'm not really sure what's best to do with the Sergeant (who is also needed this month) and have had a lot of advice and counter advice! But I've decided to go with a Power Fist for the simple reason that it looks cool. Sod it if it's no good, let's face it I am never going to build an optimum army.

Next on the needed list is a second Troop choice to make the army legal. For painting variety I've decided to go for the Scouts as a priority. Equipment wise the Heavy Bolter looks fun, and is free so let's go with that. For my Sergeant I've gone for all things Melta – as that sounds fun, not sure if that's a good idea, may change my mind.

My left over points leave enough to paint up the basic core of my remaining Tactical Squad, yes I know I've now gone Troop crazy! But once all these bits from the Battle Force are done the fun can really start with the more exotic choices!

So here's how Month 4 currently breaks down:

Assault Squad CONTINUED
+ 2 Additional Space Marines (36 points – 2x 18 points)
+ Flamer (10 points)
+ Power Fist (25 points)
71 points

Scout Squad 75 points
+ Heavy Bolter (Free)
+ Combi-Melta(10 points)
+ Melta Bombs (5 points)
90 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
90 points

TOTAL:  251 points

Sadly that's pretty much all there is to report so far, fingers crossed I will get off my bottom and do some painting and assembling this week!! Don't want to fall behind at this crucial stage.

In other news I have been busy online, in the hopes that one day I will understand this game!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2894.jpg)

Fingers crossed some 8-year old s**t doesn't outbid me at the last moment.

100.4  – Completed Beastmen Army

Finally after about 27 million years I have completed my Beastmen army wooo hooo! I've since realised its utter pants on the table top but that's not the point is it? (He says crying into his army book). Still I am sure you are as excited as a school child in double maths, to see what the full army looks like? Not even that excited. Pah suit yourself. I'll carry on anyway.

My army now features at least one of every unit choice, there's a few weapons choices I don't have. Minotaurs with hand weapons and shields, I ask you? And who can be bothered to convert Centigors? Other than that its main deficiency is Special Characters (oh and a couple of character options – such as Chariot mounted characters and Minotaur Battle Standard Bearers) but that's at least as much Games Workshop's fault as mine.

So with all that said and done, here's some sexy photos of the full army. I say sexy, sadly my digital camera is really struggling with army photos – I think it's time for an upgrade. So some of these photos are from my iPhone – a little grainy but at least they are in focus!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2577.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2668.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2895.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2896.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2897.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2898.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2899.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2900.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2901.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2902.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2903.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2904.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2905.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2906.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2603.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2609.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2621.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2633.jpg)

And in case those out of focus poorly framed photos weren't enough for you. Why not check out the first ever Procrastination by Numbers video!! Over two minutes of out of focus poorly framed video of my Beastmen army and my foot. Come on let's face it you have nothing better to do:



Competition Time

Yes it's time for a competition, what better way to celebrate 100 years of Procrastination by Numbers! Same game as we played with the High Elves. I want you to guess the value of my completed Beastmen army. How much is that army you see in several blurry photos above actually worth?

As it's the 100th update it is surely time to bring back a classic Procrastination by Numbers prize, so if you are closest to the correct answer you can with this Make Your Own Face Out of Angel Delight Kit, as featured way back in when, in Procrastination by Numbers Update 9:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers261.jpg)

There's no reason this prize should make sense, so don't worry if you don't understand. To enter simply reply to this thread with your guess for the value in points of the above Beastmen army. For the rules fascists among you, I can say that I've assigned a roughly even mix of characters to Heroes and Lords, a healthy smattering of magic items has been thrown in and the army is not legal in terms of percentage allocation.

As a clue I can tell you that the army is worth more than my Warriors of Chaos army featured in Update 97, but less than my High Elf army featured in Update 89.

As this blog is already bursting at the seams with photos, I'll save the unit by unit photos until we reveal the results in a few weeks' time. Get entering!!

100.5  – The Procrastination by Numbers Awards 2012

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNAWARDS2012LOGO.jpg)

Yeah alright it's another feature that's late. But tough titty! Back in January 2012 we ran The Procrastination by Numbers 2011 Awards where you got to vote on the best things hobby and Games Workshop related. And as it's nearly January 2013 it's about time we did exactly the same thing!

For those of you new to the glittering delights of these awards, here's how it works. Below you will see ten categories covering pretty much all the kinds of things that we've discussed on the forum, and a series of suggested nominees. However for each category you can propose something I've missed, and if you think it needs publicity reply on this thread and tell the voting public why. The suggestions are just that - suggestions feel free to suggest other things as much as you see fit.

Once you've decided on who you want to win each category simply PM me with your votes, all you need to do is list the category number and next to it who you want to win (leave off any category you don't want to vote for), what could be simpler? It's so simple that all the billions of people who read this blog, whether you usually post or not should vote – I'd love to see my inbox burst with votes. Failing that you can Direct Message me on Twitter with your results – but do remember to keep them secret.

Over the next few Updates we'll look a little more detail at the categories and any other suggestions people have had, before we announce the results. So you've got plenty of time to make your important decision.

It couldn't be more fun, so without further ado, let's get stuck into the categories:

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2012

Whether you're a painter, a gamer, a collector, or someone in between you've probably got excited about the release of a new model in 2012, and maybe even bought it. So what's the model that's excited you the most? It can be any model or kit that was released in 2012 (though we won't except Citadel Finecast re-releases of existing models, brand new Finecasts are fine). Remember it's 2012, not 2013 so cast your minds back before the latest Dark Angels, Warriors of Chaos and Daemons releases (as much as I know you wanted to vote for the Skull Cannon of Khorne):

Here a reminder of each months to get you started but remember feel free to vote for whatever you want as long as it makes the criteria:


Category 2: Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2012

A catch all category that contains everything that isn't a model that popped out of the GW forges this year. So games, rule books, accessories, tools, paints and even the trusty dice cube... and anything else you can think of fit in here. Here's some suggestions that popped into my head:


Category 3: Best Games System of 2012

What was your favourite game system this year? You can leave the world of Games Workshop here if you so choose. Last year's nominees included:


Category 4: Best Tournament of 2012

As my ASBO prevents me attending the Tournament scene can't really advise here. I played no tournaments last year!! But you did, and which was the best? Here's last year's suggestions:


Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2012

Obviously there's no choice here, I am clearly going to be your choice for Best Forum Contributor who else comes close (please read this with a healthy dose of sarcasm, else I will sound like a turd)? Seriously you can choose anyone from the forum you want, though the only rule is don't vote for yourself. To avoid getting a slap from anyone I forget I am not going to make any suggestions here you are on your own!

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2012

Who had the Best Painting Blog on the forum this year? Maybe they had the best models, the best painting advice or just some witty charm. In the interests of not wanting to be a knob, you can't vote for this here blog. Sorry but I am not willing to find out the hard way that you don't love me! Again I don't want to list my favourites, but why not got to the Da Gallery board and choose your favourites here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

You can't vote for yourself though!!

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2012

Who posted up the best painted model this year? Which photograph of a scary monster, magic wizard or mighty tank made you go oooooooooooooo! Again you can vote for whomever you like, but not anything I've painted. That would be wrong (plus I have my own category to come! He he!!) Again you are on your own. Get looking on that Gallery!!

Category 8: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2012

Yeah alright I want an award all to myself, but hey I'm organising them so it's my rules! You may have missed it in amongst all the procrastination but I did do some painting in 2012, which was your favourite model? For this category any model or unit I've painted from this here blog. Here's some of my highlights:


Category 9: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2012

2012 may have had winners, but we need to remember the losers too, which was your Model Horriblus of 2012, did it look hideous, did it's curves make you vomit, or did you hate everything about it? As with Category 1 any Games Workshop model released in 2012 is eligible, bar Finecast rereleases. Get those thinking caps on.

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model To Assemble 2012

A brand new category this year, what was your worst Games Workshop model to assemble this year? Any model from 2012 that you had trouble putting together. It may have looked beautiful but did you end up with fingers covered with glue and bits of plastic stuck to the desk? Looking forward to your suggestions.

VOTE NOW

Those are your ten categories, you are welcome to champion any of your own nominees on this thread but please DO NOT cast your votes by replying on the thread – they need to be secret. Instead wack me a PM with the numbers 1-10 and your choices simple as that.

100.6  – Get In Touch

You will be very much relieved to note that is finally the end of this bumper 100th edition of Procrastination by Numbers. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you have read, commented on and enjoyed this here blog. If you've sent me a message, retweeted me on the Twitter, commented on the blog at the club or on this thread it is so very much appreciated. Particular thanks to those who reply on here, it's really nice to see what you liked and didn't like and great to get you talking.

In that very spirit here's what we'd like you to comment on this week.


As always I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers so please abuse me there!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: maelzch on March 12, 2013, 11:39:13 pm
I haven't vanished entirely! Just been busy elsewhys!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 19, 2013, 11:24:40 am
Quote from: maelzch on March 12, 2013, 11:39:13 pm
I haven't vanished entirely! Just been busy elsewhys!

Hehehe! Well nice to see you pop up to wish us a Happy 100th Birthday!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on April 11, 2013, 09:23:02 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 101 – Orwellian Hell Thursday 11th April 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up this time on Procrastination by Numbers:

101.1 – Meet the Team

Procrastination by Numbers is really therapy for Matt, and his carers have taken on the personalities of inanimate objects! Let's meet them, if you dare.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week Matt we'll be spending the entire blog trying to not make inappropriate Margaret Thatcher jokes.

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week even the resident six-year old artist has been made to sit in the naughty step after parking her tri-cycle in a spot clearly marked for disabled tri-cyclists.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has not been allowed anywhere near North Korea's big red button just in case he should slip.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

This week Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot has been re-elected as chief tactical plant pot after white smoke could be seen emanating from the greenhouse.

101.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 4, Day 42

Apparently the last blog update was 'too long', well sorry for being a big celebrationist of all things amazing!! To make it up for though real life has got in the way and limited my writing and painting ability for a little while so you've not had an update for a few weeks. Maybe you could have a read a third of last time's blog each week between then and now for a reasonable sized update.

Anyway with the 100th Procrastination by Numbers celebrations well and truly over, it gives me a quick chance to catch up with this month's Ultramarine painting tasks. Here's what we had attempted to paint up, as decided last month:

Assault Squad CONTINUED
+ 2 Additional Space Marines (36 points – 2x 18 points)
+ Flamer (10 points)
+ Power Fist (25 points)
71 points

Scout Squad 75 points
+ Heavy Bolter (Free)
+ Combi-Melta(10 points)
+ Melta Bombs (5 points)
90 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
90 points

TOTAL: 251 points

Now I had to make a little swapsie as I couldn't find a Combi-Melta on any of my sprues for my Scout Sergeant, so instead he's got a Plasma Pistol – don't judge it was a free part and required minimal conversion so is there. So a quick exercise in sticking my fingers together resulted in this:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2907.jpg)

Thanks to a bumper Bank Holiday weekend for Easter of painting away on the parent's dining table...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2908.jpg)

I am now obese and have pretty much finished this little gaggle of blue clad Marines:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2909.jpg)

At the time of writing (god knows when you'll get round to reading it), these chaps are all done bar their transfers – which will be a world of pain I'll endure before Update 102. During which update I'll try and give you more detail on my painting exploits, bet you can't wait!

In other Warhammer 40,000 news my bid to learn the rules of the game was de-railed for a long time by the bloody 8-year old children outbidding me at the last minute. I lost a lot, the poos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2910.jpg)

Fortunately I have now fought them off, and have a Warhammer 40,000 mini-edition rulebook on my way. Unless I've been tricked by some bastard child and sent my money to a fraudulent account. The scum.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2911.jpg)

Those paying attention will have course realised that I have slightly fallen behind in my painting seen as this is now April and Month 4 is of course March (in our challenge – don't worry we've not renumbered the months of the year). Sorry about that, but at least I haven't had to stage an elaborate motorcycle accident or something like that in order to gain sympathy. Whilst I could give you some yarn about having a boyfriend and being in a happy and loving relationship that has taken all my time up, you wouldn't believe me. So I won't.

101.3  – The Procrastination by Numbers Awards 2012 Update

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNAWARDS2012LOGO.jpg)

Ok, ok so 2012's been and gone and I should have done this ages ago, but hey there's still a good chance it will be completed before spring starts – provided of course we all survive nuclear Armageddon at the hands of North Korea, the real world equivalent of the Dark Elves! Mind you to be honest even a nuclear explosion will probably have trouble getting through the tedious length of my updates so there's still hope for us.

So for those of you who couldn't penetrate the impenetrable mist that was Update 100, we need you to vote on your top choice in a number of categories, as listed below:


There's some more guidelines for each category in Update 100, but this Update we'll take a closer look those the categories.

Category 1: Best Games Workshop Model Released 2012

This category is pretty much the Ronseal category, in that the category description says it all. Remember you can vote for any model Games Workshop released in 2012 and pick your favourite

For 2011, this category was won by the Ogre Firebelly...:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1963.jpg)

...beating off competition from the Archanork Spider, Cockatrice, Garden of Moor, Razorwing and Stonehorn / Thundertusk Kit.

Here's a reminder of 2012 release schedule to give you some inspiration! Plus a photo montage of some other choices!


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2912.jpg)

Category 2: Games Workshop Army Book/Supplement/Game Released 2012

This category is basically anything that doesn't fit into the above category of model so we're looking at games, rule books, accessories, tools, paints, the brand new White Dwarf and even the trusty dice cube... and anything else you can think of fit in here.

In 2011, this was won by Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings, just beating Storm of Magic and then Liquid Green Stuff.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1965.jpg)

Here's some suggestions from 2012's release schedule that might get your vote.


(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2913.jpg)

Category 3: Best Games System of 2012

What was your favourite game system of 2012, is the simple question? And you don't even have to go Games Workshop here if you so choose. 2011's nominees included:


But Warhammer snuck in by one vote to steal the title from Bloodbowl:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1967.jpg)

...will it win this year? Only you can decide – and everyone else who votes.

Category 4: Best Tournament of 2012

Tournament play isn't really my thing, but was your favourite of 2012? Here's last year's suggestions:


2011's clear winner was Valhalla, but can it claim the title twice in a row. And will this photo get used again?:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1969.jpg)

Category 5: Best Forum Contributor of 2012

Yep who was your favourite contributor to this here forum over the dark days of 2012? Awkwardly I won that in 2011:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1971.jpg)

Best I move on or I'll have to awkwardly curl up in a ball and cry in the praise.

Category 6: Best Forum Painting Blog of 2012

Who had the Best Painting Blog on the forum of 2012? You can pick whoever you like, bar me, and bar your own stuff. Last year's winner was the 9th Legion Adventures in Paint

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1973.jpg)

Will this be our winner again, or will you pick one of the other blogs, most of which can be found here?:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?board=16.0)

Category 7: Best Forum Painted Model of 2012

In 2011 the winner of this category was Eiryss, Angel of Retribution as painted by Meals.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1990.jpg)

But who will you be picking from 2012? Get rummaging on those painting forums and get picking!!

Category 8: Best Painted model from the Procrastinator of 2012

Yep for the second year in a row this is an award only I can win, wooo hhhooooo!

You said my best painted model of 2011 was my Jabberslythe:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1996.jpg)

But what will you choose for 2012? Here's some suggestions from me!


Category 9: Worst Games Workshop Model Released 2012

Just as Category 1, but the reverse, which was the worst model of 2012 for you?

In 2011 the "winner" of this category was the poor old Mangler Squigs:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers1998.jpg)

Category 10: Worst Games Workshop Model To Assemble 2012

This category's brand new for this year, so I can't give you any guidance, just pick the model that in 2012 gave you the most grief and sticky fingers as you assembled.

VOTE NOW

Those are your ten categories, remember my suggestions are just guidance you've probably got some much better thoughts of your own.

Thank you so much for the votes we've had already but we need more, get voting – remember PM's only, it's a secret ballet!! And in just in case you didn't read that DO NOT cast your votes by replying on the thread!!! Keep voting peeps!!

101.4  – Get In Touch

Those of you who read this month's 400th edition of the White Dwarf will have seen this Beastmen army:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2914.jpg)

Call that a Beastmen army? This is a Beastmen army!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2577.jpg)

As featured in Update 100 – yeah it's not just White Dwarf having a birthday!! Remember we're looking for you to guess the points' value of this army to win a fabulous prize. As no one has entered the competition yet you have every chance of winning just by guessing any number you like so go ahead!!

In fact just get in touch with any of the below:


Remember I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers so please abuse me there!!! Until I next can be bothered to put finger to keyboard, see ya!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on April 12, 2013, 12:06:12 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on April 11, 2013, 09:23:02 amWhilst I could give you some yarn about having a boyfriend and being in a happy and loving relationship that has taken all my time up, you wouldn't believe me. So I won't.
Please spin your web of lies and deceipt, I'd love to hear your yarn.  Or is it true?

[oops this is not a DM]!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on April 13, 2013, 09:51:54 am
I have absolutely no frame of reference for beastman cost...I've heard you say the monsters are expensive though and you have one of each...so...7,523 points.

And having seen the models in the flesh (although sadly lacking transfers  :wink;m::), I'd say you've got the hang of blue paint.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on April 25, 2013, 08:36:54 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 102 – If You Go Down To The Woods Today... Thursday 25th April 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Coming up this time on Procrastination by Numbers:

102.1 – Meet the Team

Procrastination by Numbers isn't just put together by one crazed socially awkward person... well actually it is, but don't tell him.

Matty the Painter

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1144.jpg)

Matty the Painter is the main writer on Procrastination by Numbers, and his brain represents the place where the other writers live. He is a prolific Shakeaway drinker, and he can be followed on Twitter at @ProByNumbers – go on he might follow you back.

This week due to the lifting of planning laws Matt has extended this blog by approximately 24 pages. I am sure you are all pleased!

The Resident Six-Year Old Artist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1153.jpg)

For all those things that can't be photographed, the resident six-year old artist has joined (read "been imprisoned by") the team. Bribed with Smarties and the promise of seeing daylight again, she draws all the pictures this blog needs. Her recent work includes the iOS6 maps.

This week the resident six-year old artist has been using her ability to count to two, to count all the Procrastination by Numbers Awards 2012 votes.

Mr Shakey Shakey

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1242.jpg)

Mr Shakey Shakey is Matty the Painter's Wood Elf painting friend. He's been painting a Wood Elf army for about 24 years now. His name is nothing to do with the popular milkshake, but instead refers to his inability to hold a paintbrush steadily in his hands.

This week Mr Shakey Shakey has been spilling the brand new Citadel Edge Paints.

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1131.jpg)

Sandra the Tactical Pot Plant is a brand new member of the Procrastination by Numbers team, not only is she's the independent adjudicator for all Procrastination by Numbers competitions. But she is a Warhammer tactical genius and can often be found revising the rules and coming up with the filthiest armies known to man.

This week Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot has been throwing a photosynthesis party in honour of the return of non-winter weather.

102.2 – Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Month 4, Day 54

Ok so it's all gone a bit to pot in the world of the Ultramarine painting. In fact, I've gone slower than a South West Trains service to Waterloo. And so I've fallen about a month behind. Annoyingly my contract at work got extended so instead of becoming unemployed and getting all my painting done, I am back at work earning money! Bloody hell!!

Anyway, here's the exciting developments in the world in Matty's 40K world. My Warhammer 40,000 mini rulebook has arrived in the post...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2915.jpg)

And I've started reading it, and have even learnt the odd rule. At present my brain's a little bit in rule overload, so I need to get more practice games in I feel. Managed another game against Tom's Chaos Space Marines, in which I had more of an idea of what I was doing than last time, but was comprehensively thrashed. My army does seem to lack real killer units to smash apart heavily armoured stuff. But then to some extent that would be expected as I've concentrated on painting basic troops up while I get the hang of the rules. So fingers crossed we can start to rectify this soon.

Painting-wise the good news is I have finally finish March's models (put away your judgemental comments about it nearly being May right now!). So here's some shots of the remaining two Assault Marines:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2920.jpg)

Giving a finished unit of:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2928.jpg)

I also finished off the Scouts, whilst I am left under no illusion that these are anything but crap, they were fun to paint. Really nice to vary up the colours, having painted an awful lot of blue, it was nice to use a bit of blue armour in amongst some other colours. So anyway here they are:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2944.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2948.jpg)

You may notice that the Scouts are without decorations on their shoulder pads. Not sure what to do here, the general consensus from Twitter/Google is they don't need any symbol other than an Ultramarine symbol. Games Workshop's boxes and website are very clever to conceal the right shoulder pad, so I am not sure what to do. Also the Ultramarine symbols provided on the Space Marine Transfer Sheet (the only one that came in my Battle Force box) are way too big to fit on the shoulder pads of the Scouts. Boo. Any suggestions, or knowledge of whether a Scout transfer sheet exists appreciated here!

A bit of a comparative non-event but, I've also painted up half a second Tactical Squad, blah, blah, blah, boring. Here's some photos:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2935.jpg)

Which brings my current army list up to:

Space Marine Captain 100 points
100 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (80 points – 5x 16 points)
+ Flamer (free)
+ Missile Launcher (free)
+ Chainsword (free)
170 points

Terminator Squad 200 points
200 points

Dreadnought 105 points
105 points

Assault Squad 100 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (90 points – 5x 18 points)
+ Plasma Pistol (15 points)
+ Flamer (10 points)
+ Power Fist (25 points)
240 points

Scout Squad 75 points
+ Heavy Bolter (Free)
+ Combi-Melta(10 points)
+ Melta Bombs (5 points)
90 points

Tactical Squad 90 points
90 points

TOTAL:  995 points

Or in photographic form as you may prefer:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2965.jpg)

Finally with that done, I can now look at Month 5's Ultramarines, yeah, yeah, shhhhh it's nearly Month 6. Despite mentioning that I need some hard hitting stuff, I am going to use this as an opportunity instead to finish of my unpainted models and add some transport capacity. Then I can head back to OlBay and pick up some tasty tanks (read Predator tank – bang bang!!). So adding the other half of the Tactical Squad, my Rhino and a Drop Pod, pretty much covers my 250 points for April.

Rhino 35 points
+ Storm Bolter (10 points)
+ Hunter-Killer Missile (10 points)
+ Extra Armour (15 points)
70 points

Drop Pod 35 points
+ Locator Beacon (10 points)
45 points

Tactical Squad UPDATE
+ 5 Additional Space Marines (90 points – 5x 18 points)
+ Plasma Gun (10 points)
+ Missile Launcher (FREE)
+ Power Fist (25 points)
125 points

TOTAL: 235 points


On that note still looking to get my hands on the Ultramarine transfer sheet for the Drop Pod, if anyone happens to have one, I would very much like to get one please!

102.3 – Terraining Course: Tree Building

So if I haven't been painting Ultramarines what have I've been doing? Well, I finally got round to sorting out some terrain for my home Warhammer battlefield. Been meaning to do this for years and years and years, so given I had the inspiration I thought it best to act on it.

Obviously the good news is that now that this is done there aren't any upcoming scheduled releases of models I really want, that will distract me from my Ultramarines. Cough, cough, errr...

Enough excuses, let's look at the forests. I wanted some trees to use with my High Elf army that could be used to represent the lush areas of Ulthuan. Given Ulthuan has excellent gardeners this meant I couldn't just cheat and use the forests with bare trees. We would need the leaves. The leaves are a bit of pain, because the join between leaf canopy and branch is pretty slim, and whenever a tree topples over (all the time, because they are tall and I am a klutz), the leaves will inevitably take the impact.

What I ended up doing, which to be honest was a faff, but probably worth it in the long run, was pinning all the leaf sections on. This gave them a lot more strength, though I did still end up with the odd casualty particularly when vigorously drybrushing the leaf canopy – and incidentally when I dropped a book on one of the trees. Which I can confirm is a bad idea, and isn't rendered fun even if you shout "Timber" in a loud voice, whilst wearing a checked shirt.

To make the pinning as simple, and strong as possible. I drilled and mounted long lengths of paperclip into each of the branches. This is particularly fiddly at the best of times, due to the thin nature of the branches, and wasn't helped by the appalling state of my Hobby Drill which really needs to be replaced!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3060.jpg)

Rather than drilling a small hollow in the leaf canopy, I drilled all the way through the canopy

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3061.jpg)

This is both easier to do and results in a stronger join, obviously superglue was used here.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3062.jpg)

I then simply snipped off the exposed paperclip. Due to the highly textured nature of the leaf pieces, the join with the paper clip is lost and doesn't require any covering or disguising with green stuff. Whilst this method is tedious, and isn't 100% guaranteed to hold your leaves on, it reduces the chance of Autumn descending upon your forests at the drop of a hat or even a book.

I ended up constructing and painting up three forests in this way, which hopefully will be enough to add a decent amount of foliage to a normal sized battlefield. Below I've added one of my usual trademark painting guides in case you fancy ignoring it, or maybe even having a go yourself!! However I thought before that I'd show off some of the details I added to add a bit of character to my forests.

As mentioned above, I wanted my forests to be able to represent Ulthuan, and so wanted to add some appropriate details to them. That said I didn't want to go too crazy with the theming so I couldn't use them for other armies and locations. In the end I decided to add some details to each tree, a mixture of High Elf details, and more generic details so I could arrange the trees to emphasis, or not, the High Elf details dependant on the background of the game. The other essential point is that I only want to add details to the trees themselves, not the bases. The main advantage of the tree kit is that the trees can be removed for storage and to allow units to pass through, so adding details on the base would ruin this!!

So here's a quick photo gallery of the details added and what parts I used in the hope it will inspire you to do the same!

First up I used the accessories in the Citadel Wood kit to make some generic forests, that had multiple uses.

This forest has a flaming brazier:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3010.jpg)

Here I added some of the hanging candles, and paraphernalia – everyone loves a tea light after all:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3020.jpg)

And then I added a wanted poster, note not a poster of The Wanted – I am more of a One Direction kind of guy, which hopefully looks ok even with my pathetic scrawlish attempt at free hand!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3030.jpg)

Then it was my own creativity as I added the classic discarded cart-wheel and shield, which were just kicking around in my bits box. For some reason I felt the need to add a large leaf from the Warhammer Basing Kit. Not really sure why, just seemed like a good idea!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3024.jpg)

Next tree was a surprisingly nice scene that even Bill Oddie would have appreciated, as I added a couple of birds. The one in the branches comes with the Giant kit, whilst the one on the ground comes with the High Elf Dragon kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3051.jpg)

Then I added a dead High Elf, thought he'd be a great objective for Elves looking to avenge their fallen kin or recover a lost artefact. His body and legs are taken from a High Elf Spearmen, I removed the cloth and shoes as if they'd rotted away over time. I added a left over skull from one of the Beastmen kits, a discarded helmet from the Repeater Bolt Thrower kit, and the shield (placed to cover the open part of the mail skirt) was from the Silver Helm box. And the Dark Elf bolt was from the bitz bonanza that is the Giant kit. I stippled on some Scorched Brown followed by Blazing Orange to slightly rust up the armour – as this body had clearly been there some time.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3034.jpg)

Next up was a fresh massacre of Dark Elves, which I wanted to look like they'd been caught by some Shadow Warriors whilst up to no good, and their heads were left as a warning to others. These parts were spares I looted off a Dark Elf warrior sprue, with weapons cut up, the heads had extra entrails moulded out of green stuff (nice), and I even added a bloodied shoe which was left over from the High Elf Spearmen I cut up above. As above I stippled some Scab Red around for patches of blood, normally I think it a bit cartoonish to go for loads of blood dripping off weapons and mouths – but thought this exception fitted the modelling.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3038.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3042.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3047.jpg)

I added in a simple Elven ruin, which is the ruined Lion head you get from the White Lions kit (I have 20 White Lions – so 4 Lion Heads, excellent masonry value), with some ivy from the Warhammer Basing Kit for good measure.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3014.jpg)

Lastly I added a mysterious floating Elven book on a magical pile of rocks, some Arcane artefact that could represent a hidden magical item or a mystic location deep in the forests of Ulthuan. This was made from the rock pile from the High Elf plastic Mage kit, with the feet cut off, and a book from the Dragon kit – I added a small piece of slate from the Warhammer basing kit to rest the book against.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3055.jpg)

Put of all that together and here are the finished forests:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2972.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2982.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2987.jpg)

The good news is that Sandra the Tactical Plant Pot definitely supports all this new terrain; in fact it's sort of turned into her own personal army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3005.jpg)

Although I've had to ask for her advice on deployment now with all these terrain around I've had some tactical issues.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3000.jpg)

Bollocks.

If only I had some kind of chariot that could fly. Hmmm...

For painting guide fans, i.e. me, here's a guide to how I painted those wonderful trees.

102.4 – Citadel Wood Painting Guide

Citadel Wood Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3056.jpg)

MAIN TREES
Base: Steel Legion Drab or Khemri Brown
Bark and Branches: Charadon Granite or Stormvermin Fur
Leaves: Catachan Green
Rocks: Charadon Granite or Stormvermin Fur


DETAILS
Wood (not tree): Steel Legion Drab
Parchment: Steel Legion Drab
Rope: Calthan Brown
Candle: Dheneb Stone
Chain: Boltgun Metal
Pole: Tin Bitz
Flame: Skull White
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab
Grass: Catachan Green
Elven Ruins: Calthan Brown
Birds: Scorched Brown or Beastial Brown
High Elf Silver: Chainmail
Dark Elf Silver: Boltgun Metal
High Elf Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Elf Gold: Tin Bitz
High Elf Shield: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Bookmark: Iyanden Darksun
Shield: Fortress Grey or Scab Red
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Dark Elf Trim: Liche Purple
Dark Elf Wood: Chaos Black
Dark Elf Leather: Chaos Black
High Elf Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue / Ice Blue
High Elf Rune: Scab Red
Book Cover: Scab Red
Dark Elf Gore: Scab Red


Citadel Wood Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3057.jpg)

MAIN TREES
Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Bark and Branches: Wash Nuln Oil
Leaves: Highlight individual leaves Dark Angels Green, Snot Green or Goblin Green
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre


DETAILS
Wood (not tree): Drybrush Graveyard Earth
Parchment: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rope: Wash Nuln Oil
Candle: Layer Bleached Bone
Chain: Wash Nuln Oil
Pole: Wash Nuln Oil
Flame: Highlight Bad Moon Yellow, then Sunburst Yellow
Skulls: Wash Nuln Oil
Grass: Highlight Dark Angels Green
Elven Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil
Birds: Drybrush Snakebite Leather
High Elf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Elf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
High Elf Gold: Shining Gold
Dark Elf Gold: Burnished Gold
High Elf Shield: Layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomacian Grey
Bookmark: Layer Golden Yellow
Shield: Layer 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White or Red Gore
Flesh: Highlight Elf Flesh
Dark Elf Trim: Highlight Liche Purple
Dark Elf Wood: Highlight Codex Grey
Dark Elf Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
High Elf Trim: Layer Ice Blue
High Elf Rune: Layer Red Gore
Book Cover: Layer Red Gore
Dark Elf Gore: Layer Red Gore


Citadel Wood Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3058.jpg)

MAIN TREES
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Bark and Branches: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green
Leaves: Drybrush Camo Green
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey


DETAILS
Wood (not tree): Highlight/Drybrush Bubonic Brown
Parchment: Highlight Bleached Bone
Rope: Highlight Calthan Brown
Candle: Highlight Skull White
Chain: Highlight Chainmail
Pole: Highlight Chainmail
Flame: Highlight Fiery Orange
Skulls: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Grass: Highlight Goblin Green
Elven Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Birds: Drybrush Bubonic Brown
High Elf Silver: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Elf Silver: Highlight Chainmail
High Elf Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Dark Elf Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
High Elf Shield: Layer Watered Down Skull White
Bookmark: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Shield: Layer Skull White or Blood Red
Flesh: Wash Watered Down Ogryn Flesh
Dark Elf Trim: Done
Dark Elf Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Dark Elf Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
High Elf Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue / Skull White
High Elf Rune: Highlight Blood Red
Book Cover: Highlight Blood Red
Dark Elf Gore: Highlight Blood Red


Citadel Wood Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3059.jpg)

MAIN TREES
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Bark and Branches: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Graveyard Earth
Leaves: DONE
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses


DETAILS
Wood (not tree): Wash Devlan Mud
Parchment: Detail with Scorched Brown then highlight Snakebite Leather
Rope: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Candle: Paint Wick Chaos Black
Chain: DONE
Pole: DONE
Flame: Highlight Blazing Orange
Skulls: Highlight Bleached Bone
Grass: Highlight Camo Green
Elven Ruins: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Birds: DONE
High Elf Silver: DONE
Dark Elf Silver: DONE
High Elf Gold: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold / Mithril Silver
Dark Elf Gold: Highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold / Mithril Silver
High Elf Shield: Layer Skull White
Bookmark: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Shield: DONE
Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Dark Elf Trim: DONE
Dark Elf Wood: DONE
Dark Elf Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
High Elf Trim: DONE
High Elf Rune: Highlight Blazing Orange, then Fiery Orange
Book Cover: DONE
Dark Elf Gore: DONE


102.5 – The Procrastination by Numbers Awards 2012 Update

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNAWARDS2012LOGO.jpg)

Now come on peeps you're not doing that well with the votes for the Procrastination by Numbers Awards 2012. Come on people, or I'll send the plant round!

Reminder you are voting in the categories below, please simply PM each Category number and your choice. Full details, and categories in Update 101.


102.6 – Get In Touch

Now we have had two guesses for the guess the value of the Beastmen army competition, which technically is enough to select a winner. But we'd like to get some more, I personally can't believe people don't want to win a "Make Your Own Face in Angel Delight" prize. Literally you don't need to know anything about Beastmen points' values – just literally pick a number which you think represents the value of the army below. Simples!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2577.jpg)

Your replies really do make all of this worthwhile, and I like Comic Relief they don't cost a penny! Here's some key things I'd like your feedback on if you're stuck:


Remember I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers bothering people all the time!!! Until you next can be bothered to read this, see ya!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 28, 2013, 07:03:59 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 103 – Like a Milkshake Rising from the Flames Tuesday 28th May 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Ok, so I haven't really updated for a while. But let's be honest neither of us have been trying in this relationship you haven't been commenting, I haven't been writing or painting. So we'll let each other off and I'll give you a whistle stop tour of what I've been up to. Hobby wise at least, not giving you a diary of all my day to day medical woes or anything like that. So here goes:

103.1 – Tale of OG Gamers – Month 5, Day 28

Well... Yes. It went well, I got this far:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2965.jpg)

But I'll admit it's all gone a bit to pot recently, but let's be honest I got further than most, and like a woman faking an orgasm I still intend to finish at some point.

I can however confirm that at least I have managed to assemble the next batch of Ultramarines. There's the rest of the Tactical Squad, Rhino and a Drop Pod.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3063.jpg)

As you will see my Ultramarines have been somewhat delayed by a variety of other projects and temptations.

103.2 – The Shakeaway Elves March Again

Yep chief of chief distractions to my Ultramarines are the spanking brand new High Elf models and army book.

I may have already swept a load up and begun assembling them! Whoops

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3064.jpg)

So far the army list looks great, though various real life distractions have prevented me trying them out. But new Core options in the form of Silver Helms and Reavers is good. Who would have been stupid enough to paint them up for the old book?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3065.jpg)

Yeah alright me, but now who can be smug! Plus a boost to the rather sparse Rare section is helpful too.

So far I've built a Flamespyre Phoenix - let's face it, it's how a Phoenix should look. Some Sisters of Avelorn who are such a nice kit I will clearly have to build some more up as Shadow Warriors. And finally assembled is a Lothern Sky Cutter which whilst beautiful looking, looks like it will be impossible to ever fit in a box to take down to the club and use. Still I'll probably get another 5!

Looking forward to adding the new character models to my army, especially the Loremaster of Hoeth who looks pretty cool.

103.3 – Terraining Course: Hills

Last time I was looking at trees, see Update 102. This time I've added some more terrain to my battlefield with some hills.

Whilst hills are relatively easy to make yourself, I am lazy and knew I would never get around to making them myself. So decided to buy some pre-made Games Workshop ones for ease. I'd totally understand if you wanted to be cheaper and make them yourself, but I'd never find the time.

I managed to pick up one standard Citadel Hill and two of the Modular ones.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3066.jpg)

Interestingly Games Workshop has stopped making the Modular Hill, presumably because they have discovered it doesn't have a single skull on it and therefore deemed it must be faulty.

So far I've done a bit of undercoating and put the base colours. If they're anything like the Temple of Skulls they should be really quick to paint.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3067.jpg)

Hopefully next time I will be able to give you a full update. Or perhaps better still I will have painted some Ultramarines! But I suspect neither of these will have happened!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 28, 2013, 08:40:08 am
Loads of distractions and a ton of half done projects - standard practice for most of us I think.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on May 28, 2013, 02:11:58 pm
Looking forward to seeing it all progress.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on May 29, 2013, 08:05:34 pm
I know it's a bit late, but that is the best painted GW wood i've seen!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 29, 2013, 09:07:29 pm
Quote from: roland murat on May 28, 2013, 08:40:08 am
Loads of distractions and a ton of half done projects - standard practice for most of us I think.

Hahaha yes, that's a pretty good summary of all of us.

Quote from: Dave on May 28, 2013, 02:11:58 pm
Looking forward to seeing it all progress.

Ta!

Quote from: Garzini on May 29, 2013, 08:05:34 pm
I know it's a bit late, but that is the best painted GW wood i've seen!

It is never too late for a compliment - thank you very much! Think it's the only one I've ever seen wth the leaves on!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on June 05, 2013, 01:25:45 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on May 28, 2013, 07:03:59 am
......neither of us have been trying in this relationship you haven't been commenting....

Lies! I've PM'd you since the last entry and there was definitely a blog related comment in one of em... ;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 05, 2013, 02:59:14 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on June 05, 2013, 01:25:45 pm
Lies! I've PM'd you since the last entry and there was definitely a blog related comment in one of em... ;)

PM's don't count. Love me in public or don't love me at all!  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 07, 2013, 08:36:28 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 104 – The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Procrastination Friday 7th June 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

104.1 – Tale of OG Gamers – Month 5, Day 35 or Something Like That!

If you were expecting a lot, you will be disappointed. If you were expecting something you might be mildly satisfied. And if you were expecting nothing at all, there's a vague chance you might be vaguely impressed. But I doubt it. We are of course talking progress, and generally speaking I've made about as much as the Isle of Wight has in the last fifty years.

Basically I've undercoated everything with Chaos Black. Exciting. And thrown a pot of Caledor Sky in its general direction. More to follow. Probably.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3073.jpg)

Interestingly I have noticed the Drop Pod doors are a little bit less obliging when it comes to staying shut now they've got a few layers of paint on them. Don't know if anyone else has noticed this, or had any thoughts remedies bar leaving them open all the time. Think of the draft.

104.2 – High Elf Painting

Excitingly I've been able to dust off the Bad Moon Yellow and the Ice Blue (technically not, as I haven't got to that stage yet), as amongst painting Marines I've also started my new High Elves.

First up I've been wrestling with the Sisters of Avelorn. Not in a sexy way, in a pit of jelly or anything. I'm not into that kind of thing you understand. But I have put a few colours on them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3074.jpg)

I've also started work on the Sea Helm, which is a brilliant model I love. In fact I probably would wrestle in jelly with this one. Phwooar.

It's especially exciting given it's basically leftovers from the Lothern Sky Cutter. So a free model - sort of.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3075.jpg)

Again more to come probably.

104.3 – Citadel Hills Painting Guide

If you thought this blog was just a load of unfinished half projects. Then think again fools, as I've actually finished some terrain to go with my woods. See Update 102. As I now have three hills painted up. Here's a really quick guide.

Citadel Hill Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3068.jpg)

Earth: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Stormvermin Fur


Citadel Hill Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3069.jpg)

Earth: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ocre


Citadel Hill Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3070.jpg)

Earth: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey


Citadel Hill Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3071.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3072.jpg)

Earth: Re-drybrush Bleached Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
These were then flocked with patches of Citadel Grass, and Citadel Scorched Grass.


Admittedly with a big brush these were a doddle really so I probably don't deserve that much praise. However they look pretty good I think, so more praise please!! I should warn you that these three hills did use up an entire brand new pot of Steel Legion Drab and of Baneblade Brown – you have been warned!

There you go that's you lot for this time. Get lost.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on June 07, 2013, 12:24:08 pm
I'm enjoying checking out your sisters.  Ahh the joke that just keeps on giving.  Terrain is looking nice and natural, like the variety in tone you've got there.  The smurfs are looking blue.  So all good!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 07, 2013, 12:25:46 pm
Love the terrain but what do you mean the blog isnt just a list of incomplete projects?

I thought thats how all projects went in this hobbey?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 07, 2013, 01:08:08 pm
Quote from: Dave on June 07, 2013, 12:24:08 pm
I'm enjoying checking out your sisters.  Ahh the joke that just keeps on giving.  Terrain is looking nice and natural, like the variety in tone you've got there.

Thanks dude, hope you like blondes as I think that's the way my siblings are going. Thanks really pleased with the hills.

Quote from: roland murat on June 07, 2013, 12:25:46 pm
Love the terrain but what do you mean the blog isnt just a list of incomplete projects?

I thought thats how all projects went in this hobbey?

But no my friend! Resolution to paint five pieces of terrain this year - already painted three forests and three hills (five if you count the split ones separately!)! Woo hooo!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 08, 2013, 09:36:33 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on June 07, 2013, 01:08:08 pm
Thanks dude, hope you like blondes as I think that's the way my siblings are going. Thanks really pleased with the hills.

But no my friend! Resolution to paint five pieces of terrain this year - already painted three forests and three hills (five if you count the split ones separately!)! Woo hooo!


A project finished! Is the sky about to fall on our heads?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on June 10, 2013, 11:59:26 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on June 07, 2013, 08:36:28 am
Interestingly I have noticed the Drop Pod doors are a little bit less obliging when it comes to staying shut now they've got a few layers of paint on them. Don't know if anyone else has noticed this, or had any thoughts remedies bar leaving them open all the time. Think of the draft.

Any options for embedding some magnets under the paintwork near the door tip? Should aid keeping them held up and be quite discrete if you can drill/sink them in.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on June 10, 2013, 02:32:41 pm
Have to say I really didn't enjoy putting mine together and its very much back of the queue to get painted - not a great model in my eyes but serves a purpose on the table.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 11, 2013, 02:09:59 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on June 10, 2013, 11:59:26 am
Any options for embedding some magnets under the paintwork near the door tip? Should aid keeping them held up and be quite discrete if you can drill/sink them in.

This sounds like a good idea, though probably 427% more effort than I can muster! Hahaha. Must get around to sorting out a drill and magnet kit. Get motivated Matty!  :bash;m:

Quote from: roland murat on June 10, 2013, 02:32:41 pm
Have to say I really didn't enjoy putting mine together and its very much back of the queue to get painted - not a great model in my eyes but serves a purpose on the table.

I was quite lucky in the sense that I bought one second hand already assembled. I don't mind mine, but it does seem like an awful lot of hassle for 35 points!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 23, 2013, 03:09:04 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 105 – Sweatier than a Sumo Wrestler's Bum Crack Tuesday 23rd July 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's too hot to paint, so instead I've written this. Enjoy...

What's the opposite of freezing your tits off? Heating your bollocks back on again? Whatever it is, it's happening to me.

We've all been praying for this, the glorious sunshine paradise that Britain has now become. And it's here. It's great, except for the annoying piece of grit in the Vaseline, that it turns out we still have to do stuff. Apparently a scorching heat wave is not sufficient enough for your boss to turn round and simply let you have July off.  I mean, all I have to do is turn up in an air conditioned office and look at a computer screen pretending to do something resembling a job, and even I can't be bothered to do that. Some poor sods are actually attempting to do proper energetic work-like things in this heat. Look at Andy Murray he managed to win Wimbledon in the blistering 30-degree heat, and up until the minute he picked up the trophy he was actually Scottish. Let's be honest growing up in Scotland, lovely as it is, is hardly training for how to deal with extreme heat. It's a true fact that there are less air conditioning units in Scotland, than fresh vegetables and that's saying something. And before you accuse me of being xenophobic read that sentence again and you will see that it's true of all nations, not just Scotland, this being due to the relatively abundant nature of vegetables and the lack of regular human consumption of air conditioning units. So there, wind your neck in!

Whether you enjoyed the sunny day or not, by 10pm you're over it. Like an annoying child with a Peppa Pig DVD on loop, it was fun for a while, but we are now ready to slap the child. Similarly we'd be quite content with the temperature dropping a bit now in preparation for bed time.

But no, Mother Nature's thermostat has broken and is jammed on "Constantly Pump out Boiling Hot Air", and sadly she's on British Gas' 24-hour call out plan, so the chances of anyone coming round soon to fix the blazing heat are pretty low. Then when they eventually do come round, Mother Nature will be out because they'd said they'd be round between 8am and 2pm, but they didn't make it until 3pm and Mother Nature really needed to pop to the shops and felt at half two she just couldn't wait any longer to go, in case they never showed up and she wasted the day she took off work. And then Mother's Nature's boiler is not in the best of conditions, it's several billion years old and they probably don't make replacement parts any more. Sorry I think my brain may have been addled by the sun and allowed that metaphor to run on far too long.

Climbing into bed during a heat wave is about as pleasant an experience as climbing into Jimmy Savile's coffin, but without the opportunity for at least a mildly amusing Facebook update. The temperature in your room is hovering someone around the low forties and you are hot, bothered, sweaty and your testicles resemble a matching pair of rather unattractive boil-in-the-bag walnuts. The perfect conditions to sleep in, if you happened to be a volcanic fire spirit summoned from the gates of hell.

In a desperate bid to make the bedroom vaguely habitable every single window in the house is forced open as wide as possible, in fact if you could, you'd have started scrapping out the mortar and removing the bricks from load bearing walls just to gain some sodding ventilation. Yes, you'd be quite prepared to throw all sense of structural safety to the wind, if only there was even the slightest hint of wind. Opening a window generally brings a solid wall of hot air, as if you had opened a 400-degree blast furnace to retrieve a molten lead ingot, without even a cursory oven glove for safety.

Concerns about intruders during the summer months take a back seat, in a desperate bid to form even the remotest of draughts; you consider even leaving the front door open. Virtually laying down a welcome mat for anyone who wants a simple break-in. Quite frankly if they can operate in this scrotum scorching temperature they're quite welcome to take as many of your possessions as they can carry. At least the breeze caused as they make off with your 50" Plasma TV might add a modicum of relief to your sweltering body. To be quite honest you'd happily invite in a genital-wart ridden serial rapist, as long as he had the common decency to pick up two Classic Magnums and a lemon Callipo on the way round to abuse your body.

Disappointingly the only visitors you're likely to get are four billion insects swarming into your room. If only they've counted for benefits purpose, you could get such a large rebate on your bedroom tax bill you'd be able to afford to fully air condition your house. But no the insects are in, despite you taking precautions and turning every bloody light in the building off, they used their laser-guided pinpoint accuracy to home in on the standby light of your HD-ready TV, which the burglars hadn't had the f**king manners to come and steal in the first place. Now the entire insect kingdom is performing a re-enactment of Dirty Dancing on your face, before they start chomping away at any exposed piece of your flesh they can find, like they've paid for the all you can eat buffet at Pizza Hut five minutes before closing time!

Talking of exposed flesh, there's a lot of that on show. It's so hot you've dispensed with pyjamas, bed socks, slippers, hot water bottles, duvets, blankets, fitted sheets, pillows, in fact anything that could possible retain even the smallest fraction of warmth about your body. You're now just lying completely naked on the bare frame of your bed. Sexy time! Except rather than you and your partner taking on the characteristics of a wild, sexual charged stallion, you more closely resemble a dying trout marinating in a pool of your own sweat. And your energy levels are less that of a great Lothario, more that of an asthmatic London Marathon runner at the 25 mile mark - with a skin tone resembling that of a rancid strawberry.

From the back of the loft you manage to find an arcane desk fan, which hasn't been used since the Renaissance period. Could this be your salvation from an eternity of a hot slumber less night? The first attempt simply blasts a thick cloud of dust in your face, such that your body looks like it's been dredged out of the deepest recesses of Pete Doherty's nose. Further refinements bring no joy, for it turns out that moving about four millimetres from the front of the fan renders the breeze completely unnoticeable. Instead you are now being kept awake by the noise of the rotating blades, in addition to the sauna like conditions of your bedroom.

Fans aren't the only the noise keeping you awake, as the open windows now allow a veritable chorus of feathered friends to get revenge for all those chicken burgers and roast turkeys you've ever eaten, as a choir larger than that buggered by even the most prolific Catholic priest keeps you from getting any shut eye. Birds seem to have an odd shift pattern with rather irregular working hours. During the summer they work virtually 24-7. Eating worms, singing about whatever they sing about and shitting all over your car windscreen without rest. Come winter time and everything's different, work's much harder to come by and all of avian kind has to take up short shift work to make ends meet during their sabbatical, barely rising for four hours a day. With of course the exception of the smug Robin who seems to have cornered the market with a cushy side line posing for Christmas cards, cakes and wrapping paper. Bet all the Wood Pigeons are jealous!

Of course nothing is permanent, not even the hell of a hot night. Eventually your brain manages to drown out the noise of the fan, the birds, and even the unfortunate bird who flew into your fan – you knew you should have shut the window! You've scratched at your insect bites so much you're your fingernails have scraped away all your skin, and can no longer feel the pain of the bites. And eventually the temperature relents, your eyes shut and sleep begins. Unfortunately it's now 7am and you have to get up for f**king work! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 04, 2013, 02:54:27 pm
Think we need an update Matt, been a while  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 05, 2013, 12:22:21 am
Quote from: fatolaf on September 04, 2013, 02:54:27 pm
Think we need an update Matt, been a while  :cool3:

I think I may need a campaign to get me back writing again, not a series of linked games, but an actual organised support rally with placards and everything. I jest. Sort of.

Apologies for being "off the grid" for a while, a number of factors have contributed to this:

Any how hoping I will become freer again in the next few weeks, that combined with the prospect of new Ultramarines may persuade me to rob the local bank and purchase some Centurions. Failing that I might get my arse in gear and paint/blog/game again. Fingers crossed!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on September 05, 2013, 11:45:28 am
Quote from: cunningmatt on September 05, 2013, 12:22:21 am
I think I may need a campaign to get me back writing again, not a series of linked games, but an actual organised support rally with placards and everything. I jest. Sort of.

What do we want? Procastination!

When do we want it?  Er, in a bit.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 05, 2013, 12:35:29 pm
very good Tom./ If only I could be bothered to respopnd.....oh.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 10, 2013, 08:00:01 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on September 05, 2013, 11:45:28 am


What do we want? Procastination!

When do we want it?  Er, in a bit.

Love it!

Right good news I have escaped a recent bit of work hell and even started throwing some paint about on Ultramarines, High Elves and Warriors of Chaos. Hoping to bash out some pics and blog this week, if you're lucky!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2013, 09:13:21 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 106 – Hello Stranger Friday 13th September 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

106.1 – Return to Procrastination

Friday 13th, yep it's unlucky for you because that's right I am back. Possibly. Regular readers to this blog will have been even more bored than usual, because this thread has been emptier than Rolf Harris' bookings diary. Despite a brief spurt of activity over the summer I've not really done much over the last few months.

Given we've all had "Hobby Wobbles", which I believe is the correct term, it seemed like a reasonable thing to have a little look at in this here blog.

First up I want to make it clear this wasn't a "Rage Quit" scenario. Rage quit generally involves throwing your hobby toys out of the pram (and presumably rerolling to hit any failed misses on your first turn of throwing), see the jokes haven't got any better? Rage Quitting involves getting annoyed with the game/system and selling all the offending models, and vowing never to play said game (well at least until the next army book/codex release). I am not annoyed with Games Workshop at all, and you've probably noticed that in this blog I very rarely send a bad word in Games Workshop's direction. That's not my style, a hobby is supposed to be relaxing, if you don't like it stop doing it – end off. There's enough s**t in the world to be annoyed about without getting annoyed about the things that are supposed to be relaxing. Yet despite this my Twitter feed seems to be full of so much bile and vitriol aimed in the direction of Games Workshop you'd think they'd deployed chemical weapons in Nottingham. It's probably a reflection on our own moral priorities that I haven't had any moaning about the atrocities in Syria on my Twitter feed. Well that vaguely sensible statement crushed the mood didn't it?

Yes if anything I've been spoiled for choice by Games Workshop, after the last two years (since 8th edition Warhammer), where I've only had a few sporadic releases and no army books for any of my forces. 2013 has seen Warriors of Chaos and High Elves get sparkly new books and a host of impressive models to boot. From Warshrines and Foresaken to Sky Cutters and Phoenix/Phoenixi/Phoenixes/Phini/Phoenixeseses* (*delete as your militant grammatical rules on the pluralisation of non-existent mythical creatures sees fit), my regular armies have been spoilt for choice.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3084.jpg)

Add to that some tasty editions to the proper Space Marines (I mean Ultramarines), this month and I've been more than catered for this year. So new models hasn't been the issue.

The general problem in fact seems to have been some rather low level hobby fatigue for a number of reasons. Which I shall now illustrate the exciting medium of the bullet point:


Anyway there are my reasons, hopefully I have overcome them and will be firing on all cylinders very soon!!

106.2 – Hobby Progress

Despite/because of the above discussion (who knows anymore?), I am pleased to report that some hobby progress has been made over the last few months. Here's a little update as to where I am at, for those who care!

High Elves

My massive High Elf is currently in the progress of being updated with all the newest bits and pieces from May's releases. I've finished off a Sea Helm on foot (from my Lothern Sky Cutter), and my unit of Sisters of Avelorn. I've made good progress on my Flamespyre Phoenix which hopefully you will see soon. Then next on the painting table will be a fleet of Sky Cutters and the awesome Loremaster model.

Warriors of Chaos

Thanks to some very generous birthday presents from family and friends I have a bucket load of Warriors of Chaos models I really wanted to get started on. Been dragging my feet obviously! First up I've started on my Shaggoth, which I think is an absolutely amazing model and a joy to paint – so shove off if you are going to tell me it's rubbish in the game! Haha. With a good head wind Tzeentch should be smiling as I've got various characters, Chaos Ogre conversions, Foresaken, Chariot, Warriors and a Warshrine to assemble and add. Phew!!

Terrain

In shockingly impressive news I've already smashed my Resolution to paint five bits of terrain this year having managed three hills and three forests (see Updates 102 and 104). However I've already got myself some of the basic buildings: Tower, Chapel and Walls and Fences ready and waiting to keep my terrain roll up.

Ultramarines

Despite my lacklustre gaming credentials in the Warhammer 40,000 world, painting has not gone too badly. I am currently finishing off my last troops and transports in the shape of a second Tactical Squad, a Rhino and a Drop Pod. Sadly none of this is really going to sort out my underpowered army, but hopefully soonish I can get my mits on some more exciting kits to add to these.

106.3 – Lothern Sea Helm Painting Guide

As mentioned above here's my Sea Helm on foot, from the Sky Cutter kit – absolutely amazing model and looks great with the Lothern Sea Guard from the Island of Blood box. I might even get myself another one on foot with the battle standard!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3095.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3100.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3103.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3106.jpg)

As is customary below is my guide should you want to copy it/know what to avoid if you hate it.

Lothern Sea Helm Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3076.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Rock: Stormvermin Fur
Leather: Scorched Brown
Wood: Steel Legion Drab
Cloak: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver: Chainmail
Gold: Tin Bitz
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown
Seaweed: Dark Angels Green
Vine: Catachan Green
Dragon: Mechrite Red
Sea: 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Chaos Black/Enchanted Blue


Lothern Sea Helm Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3078.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Rock: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Layer Baneblade Brown
Cloak: Layer 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White// 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White, then Layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue//Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold: Layer Shining Gold
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Seaweed: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue
Vine: Pick out leaves in Dark Angels Green
Dragon: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Sea: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue at top of Shield


Lothern Sea Helm Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3080.jpg)

Base: Dryrbush Bleached Bone
Rock: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth
Cloak: Layer 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White// 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White, then Layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Highlight Vomit Brown
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Dragon: Highlight Blazing Orange, then highlight Vomit Brown
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests


Lothern Sea Helm Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3095.jpg)

Base: Flock with Citadel Grass
Rock: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Beastial Brown, then highlight Beastial Brown
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone, then layer watered down Bleached Bone
Cloak: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Silver: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Highlight 1:1 Vomit Brown/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:3 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: DONE
Dragon: Wash Baal Red
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests


106.4 – Sisters of Avelorn Painting Guide

Finally the famed archers of Ulthuan can add a little bit of punch with the Sisters of Avelorn, mine have already given a Hell Pit Abomination a run for its money on the field of battle. Lovely kit, though I did find it rather tricky gluing the two-armed bow pieces on. In fairness I've had a lot worse kits!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3109.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3113.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3117.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3120.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3124.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3127.jpg)

Sisters of Avelorn Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3077.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab
Ruins: Calthan Brown
Dark Elf Silver: Boltgun Metal
Dark Elf Gold: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Cloaks: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
High Elf Silver: Chainmail
High Elf Gold: Tin Bitz
Bows: Necron Abyss
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hair: Vomit Brown or Dheneb Stone


Sisters of Avelorn Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3079.jpg)

Base: Layer Baneblade Brown
Skulls: Wash Nuln Oil
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Elf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Elf Gold: Layer Burnished Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Cloaks: Layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer Ice Blue
High Elf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
High Elf Gold: Layer Shining Gold
Bows: Layer Mordian Blue
Flesh: Layer Elf Flesh
Hair: (Vomit Brown) Wash Ogryn Flesh or (Dheneb Stone) Wash Nuln Oil or Devlan Mud


Sisters of Avelorn Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3081.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Skulls: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Dheneb Stone
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Dark Elf Silver: Highlight Chainmail
Dark Elf Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Cloaks: Layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
High Elf Silver: Highlight Mithril Silver
High Elf Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Bows: Highlight Enchanted Blue, then highlight Ice Blue
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: (Vomit Brown) Highlight Vomit Brown or (Dheneb Stone/Nuln Oil or Dheneb Stone/Devlan Mud) Highlight Bleached Bone


Sisters of Avelorn Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3109.jpg)

Base: Flock Citadel Grass
Skulls: Highlight Bleached Bone
Ruins: Drybrush Dheneb Stone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Dark Elf Silver: DONE
Dark Elf Gold: Highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: DONE
Cloaks: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
High Elf Silver: DONE
High Elf Gold: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Bows: Highlight Skull White, then wash Asurmen Blue
Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: (Vomit Brown) Highlight Bleached Bone or (Dheneb Stone/Nuln Oil or Dheneb Stone/Devlan Mud) Highlight Skull White


106.5  – Get In Touch

As I mentioned above it would be great to hear your comments, feedback and even random unconnected thoughts on the above or indeed anything else. I'd love this thread to be a discussion rather than a diatribe!

And in case you've forgotten I am on Twitter @ProByNumbers where there's a panic button you can push if you feel the men in white coats need to step in and save me!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 13, 2013, 07:14:07 pm
Welcome back to Geekville Matt.

It seems my general musings (sadly without pictures as I never quite get round to buying a camera) have got competition once more. I would love to say this will encourage me to lift my game but we all know the truth - it will remain an occasional round up of my latest crushing defeat with some wondering as to where it all went wrong.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on September 13, 2013, 10:59:56 pm
Right, first up, good to see you back.  That Sea Helm alone is worth the entry price, lovely sculpt and a top notch paint job.

More importantly, Tom U is thinking of running a Warhammer Fantasy Campaign. 

Ulthuan needs you Matt.  It really does.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on September 14, 2013, 07:58:13 pm
Good to see some well painted Shakeaway elves again  :thumbsup:

I really should finish up my Dark Angels and post on my blog thing agan, but i've been sidetracked by Genestealers (I will put pics up somewhere).

Take note everyone, we all need to be putting more content up, not just Matt's rather lengthy, but brilliant blog!

otherwise the forum will wither and die  :bash;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 16, 2013, 12:38:12 pm
Too true - we don't want the forum to get like CWG's used to be with a mad rush to book games and nothing else.

The 'tales of..' type thing are normally good for getting people posting its just a shame virtually everyone drops out. Prehaps we need some kind of campaign that people will stick with?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 16, 2013, 01:41:48 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on September 13, 2013, 10:59:56 pm
More importantly, Tom U is thinking of running a Warhammer Fantasy Campaign. 

Ulthuan needs you Matt.  It really does.

Jesus Christ Ulthuan is desperate.

Thanks for all the kind comments regarding my return and the Sea Helm much appreciated.

Quote from: Garzini on September 14, 2013, 07:58:13 pm
Take note everyone, we all need to be putting more content up, not just Matt's rather lengthy, but brilliant blog!

Otherwise the forum will wither and die  :bash;m:

Yeah I think most people would prefer shorter posts definitely, anything they can read in say a day or so.

Quote from: roland murat on September 16, 2013, 12:38:12 pm
The 'tales of..' type thing are normally good for getting people posting its just a shame virtually everyone drops out. Prehaps we need some kind of campaign that people will stick with?

Yes it's the thorny problem of maintaining excitement in any project, and making sure it balances with everyone's work/life commitments. Dam the real world!!

Good news (or bad depending on your view), is that I've finished off some Ultramarines this weekend, so will have something to show soon... hopefully!!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on September 17, 2013, 10:45:17 am
I think Twitter has alot to do with the death of all forums sadly, so any attempt to keep this filled with great Plogs like this is most appreciated...
Gals to see you back Matt, and don't give up 40k, you just need to add a few more units and keep playing..

My top tips..

A unit of centurions, 2 with grav cannons, one with Las cannons
And a storm talon

Then come play my demons.... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on September 17, 2013, 02:51:49 pm
I'll admit I'd let my painting blog fall off a bit because it didn't seem to draw any responses, obviously not the quality of text that Matt brings, but as noone was commenting it just didn't seem worth the effort.  That and work got crazy busy so my usual time for updating it got taken away!

I've also moved house for the second time this  year which has basically pushed me to the absolute limit on top of the work stress so I basically wanted everything to just go away for a while and having no internet for a week helped nicely!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 17, 2013, 04:32:37 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on September 17, 2013, 10:45:17 am
I think Twitter has alot to do with the death of all forums sadly, so any attempt to keep this filled with great Plogs like this is most appreciated...

Yeah I have to confess even I have been tempted by the urge to shove my finish model pics up on Twitter for simplicity - though the 140 character limit is proving tricky!

Quote from: fatolaf on September 17, 2013, 10:45:17 am
My top tips..

A unit of centurions, 2 with grav cannons, one with Las cannons
And a storm talon

Then come play my demons.... :thumbsup:

So I should build the Assault Centurions right?  :wink;m:: Ok I will add these to my Ultramarine purchase list, tough I may get distracted by the Predator Tank... big tank with big gun - what's there not to love?!

Quote from: Dave on September 17, 2013, 02:51:49 pm
I'll admit I'd let my painting blog fall off a bit because it didn't seem to draw any responses, obviously not the quality of text that Matt brings, but as noone was commenting it just didn't seem worth the effort.

Shame dude was good to see your pics - I tried to comment as and when!! Though I do see them now and again on Twitter.

And a mark of excitement this very post is the 1,000th post on this thread - and the forum's not imploded yet! Wooooo!!

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 17, 2013, 04:33:15 pm
And this is the 1,000th reply!

Got both! Yeah!! Go me!!!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2013, 07:50:06 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 107 – Getting Back in the Hobby Grove Friday 20th September 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

107.1 Bringing Back the Love

Last week I talked, at length (standard) about hobby wobbles and my recent lethargy for all things nerdy. That does make it sound like I was positively cool for the mid part of this year, that probably isn't true. Anyway as part of my Imperium Rehabilitation Programme I thought I'd look at my hobby and what my favourite bits are, and what my least favourite bits are. So starting off with the most important thing in my hobby:

1. Playing Warhammer Online

My favourite bit of the hobby has got to be playing Warhammer Online. I mean I don't know about you, but it's hard to know what I would do if the ability to spend my weekend playing as my Level 150 Chaos Sorcerer, called Gloria, was ever taken away.

What's that?...

What do you mean?

No it can't be.

Ahhhh bo**ocks.

I guess here's my new number one then:

1. Collecting

Being the kind of emotional void and damaged individual that enjoys watching ITV's The Chase (I draw the line at Tipping Point) there isn't much love in my life (ignoring my boyfriend - it ruins my comedy persona) and so I have to surround myself by stuff in order to give me life some semblance of meaning. I've collected all kinds of shit over the course of my life: An entire run of The X-Files on VHS, even though I don't like The X-Files, enough LEGO bricks to build a 1:1 scale model of the whole Universe, every Now That's What I Call Music CD from Now 37 to Now 85 which includes an eclectic range of timeless hits from Chumbawamba to Daphne & Celeste.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3130.jpg)

As you can imagine my bedroom is jammed full of utter crap, in fact I'm only one part work magazine set away from appearing on a Channel 4 programme about hoarding. And my miniature cabinet is no different; let's not forget I have an 8,000 point Beastmen army - utter junk that's about as useful as a six month subscription to Warhammer Online.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2897.jpg)

Collecting is definitely my thing, why have a compact net-list guaranteed winning 2,000 point army when I can have one of every option in the Army Book?

On that note nobody mention the deal to order an entire Chapter on the Games Workshop website.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3199.jpg)

2. Painting

Thank god for painting, painting is the one thing that keeps my collecting in check. By keeping a reasonably strict policy of buying at approximately the same rate as I paint I don't end up insolvent surrounded by five different Warriors of Chaos army one dedicated to each of the ruinous powers and the fifth dedicated to Michael Aspel.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3190.jpg)

For the most part I enjoy painting. Like everyone I have wobbles, moods of what models I want to paint - usually a completely different army to the one I've just spent £200 on. But there we go. Generally speaking my favourite bit is once we get onto the highlight and layering stage as the model starts to come to life. I find the base coating part tedious generally it involves constantly finding bits of the model you've missed, working out what the feck the various sculpted details are supposed to be and thinking the model is going to turn out crap. Fortunately for me they always seem to come together to a vaguely reasonable standard but I do spend most of the base coating stage thinking this is utter dog dirt.

Of course it's harder here to rein in the collecting gene I appear to have Hoovered up (other brands of vacuum cleaner are available) one of every painting guide ever produced and every single Citadel Paint made. I mean seriously when am I going to use Changeling Pink.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3134.jpg)

3. Gaming

Coming in at number three is gaming. Probably not a surprise to the regular club members who know I only make a handful of fleeting visits. Though this in part due to the restrictions on my ASBO.

A well matched game with an opponent who is as much interested as in having a chat as playing the game is my cup of tea. Obviously given my tactical skill to get a well matched game I usually have to play the Ebola virus - who is a surprisingly dab hand with his Wood Elf army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN1727.jpg)

I've mentioned this before but a good way to check if an opponent is right for me is right at the beginning of the game when I ask the innocuous question "How was your day?". If they reply with a brief comment on their day before enquiring about mine, they are worth playing. If they simply reply "Fine. Let's roll for spells." the game will be about as enjoyable as lowering your testicles into an office shredder without the thrill of at least getting £250 from You've Been Framed. Sadly I have not found a similarly fool proof method for Warhammer 40,000.

4. Assembly, Conversion etc.

Assembly, Conversion and anything involving super glue comes in at number four. Generally for me assembly is a means to an end, to get stuff on the painting table. For some reason constantly regluing the same f**king piece onto a model again and again until your fingers are wielded together and the model still lies in pieces isn't my idea of fun. Not that I've had any bad experiences you understand. Not at all.

That said when assembly is going well and I can see models coming together and they're looking good I can be inspired. But seriously who likes removing mould lines or pinning pieces? Exactly no one.

Conversions don't tend to grab me that much, the collector in me wants one of what's featured on the box so finds it hard to modify the original. Plus the idea of mass conversion seems to imply buying far more kits than you need to make less models. That said I have dabbled with some minor conversions for my Warriors of Chaos army:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3193.jpg)

My biggest conversion to date is my Beastmen Jabberslythe, though in fairness I reckon I probably would have bought the Games Workshop model had that existed at the time.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3196.jpg)

Chaos generally speaking is the easiest of armies to convert, as broadly anything goes, High Elves tend not to benefit from a second head or a tentacles bursting from their chest. But I think the most I am ever likely to stretch to conversion wise is the odd character and/or monster - something that would get noticed on the tabletop. The idea of converting fifty Spearmen, or scratch building a weapon option that doesn't exist on a kit fills me with dread.

5. Army Selection, Tactics and Rules

Number five the bottom of the list uggghhh putting together an army and coming up with tactics. All of which requires a basic understanding of the rules.

The 12 year old Matty that played Warhammer 4th edition (with the billion razor-tipped Goblin Spearmen)  seemed to know all the rules, spells and magic items. I would spend ages writing out army lists for all my armies - usually in a felt tip pen appropriate for the army (Green - Orcs & Goblins, Blue - Dwarfs...) yes I was odd then too. Admittedly back then I didn't paint so maybe my hobby time was less conflicted. But now army lists feel like a massive chore, I just can't be arsed, I can barely find the will to choose the troops and as for magic items. Puhhh. Just seems to become an exercise in choosing things to fill up the points gap in my army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3139.jpg)

Then when the army is finally picked it's got to be packed into an army case. Which is a bit like trying to pack your first born into an overhead compartment on a Boeing 747. Technically there's enough room, but you know when you get to your final destination they'll have lost a limb or two.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3145.jpg)

I mean seriously how am I going to get my Flamespyre Phoenix or Lothern Sky Cutter to the club without hiring a Luton van and a driver?

Whilst I like choice, I think what I actually require is someone to choose my army list for me, and preferably pack it and bring it to the club for me. Any volunteers?

6. Blogging

I hate this free me now. Seriously if it wasn't for that contract I signed I could leave this blog and have a life.

Conclusion

So there you go I've decided more painting and collecting for me, and I intend to outsource assembly, choosing army lists and packing armies.

107.2 – Hobby Progress

Good news is despite all my list making I have managed to get some hobby done. First up here's my finished Ultramarine Tactical Squad. It's the old kit I'm afraid, that I started about 70 weeks ago.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3169.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3173.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3183.jpg)

Accompanying them is a Rhino for them to ride in, I even painted the inside like the loser I am.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3148.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3151.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3157.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3160.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3163.jpg)

And I have started work on a Drop Pod, should I wish to drop the Squad in. I don't!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3200.jpg)

And if that wasn't enough I scrapped together a few pennies, bought a van and ram-raided the local Games Workshop – which resulted in me picking up the new Space Marine Codex and a Predator tank. Don't laugh, I like it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3201.jpg)

107.3 – Get In Touch

Next time I'll try and talk about all the transfers and icons added to the above Ultramarines. I bet you can't wait. Really you can't can you. Told you. If you really can't you can see more by following me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers – until next time have a nice life.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on September 20, 2013, 10:37:58 am
Good to see you put the power-fist on the sergeant.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 20, 2013, 11:33:10 am
Annoyingly good paint job on those marines Matt- I look forward to seeing them in use.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2013, 11:22:08 pm
Quote from: roland murat on September 20, 2013, 11:33:10 am
Annoyingly good paint job on those marines Matt- I look forward to seeing them in use.

Haha thanks very much glad you liked, well technically you didn't but I don't like to say glad I annoyed you.

Quote from: The Trampoline on September 20, 2013, 10:37:58 am
Good to see you put the power-fist on the sergeant.  :thumbsup:

Yes though I am upset as the new Power Fist on the new Tactical Squad kit is much better looking. Now I want that.  :bash;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 26, 2013, 01:36:37 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 108 – Transferring to U Now Thursday 26th September 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

108.1 Detailing the Marines

This week I'll be talking about how you should grow up, stop playing with childish plastic toys, and get a fecking life and some real friends. No of course not, I'll instead be talking about how I detailed my Ultramarine painting from last week, plus my finished Shaggoth.

Tactical Marines

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3169.jpg)

I've talked before about adding transfers to Tactical Marines back in Update 96 (that long ago, really?). I mentioned that transfers were great on flat surfaces but a bugger on curved surfaces, which is fine because it's not like Games Workshop's fluff insists that pretty much every Space Marine model requires transfers on their highly curved shoulder pads or anything like that. Sigh!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2203.jpg)

After discussions on Twitter (thanks @NinjaNathUK) I was relieved to discover I'm not the only one having this problem! But pleasingly my trick of snipping the transfer between the two uprights of the 'U'-symbol for the Ultramarines not only works quite well, but isn't very useful for other chapters. Haha, should have gone with the true Space Marines shouldn't you?!

For my Tactical Squad I added the usual 'U' symbols on the left shoulder pad, and the traditional arrow symbol on the right shoulder pad. Having painted up the Assault on Black Reach models for my first Tactical Squad this was my first time using the arrow symbols (which are moulded on the Assault on Black Reach marines). Pleasingly my technique of snipping the transfer worked ok. I cut the Arrow vertically downwards through the point. This allowed the top quarters of the transfer to slightly overlap one another, the arrow was slightly distorted by this, but was an easy tidy up with some White Scar.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3243.jpg)

For the Sergeant I added this funky looking transfer:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3245.jpg)

Which is probably wrong, as I am sure you will all clamour to tell me.

Rhino

The Rhino is a whole different kettle of fish, well tank of marines technically, but you get the idea. The beautiful flat panels make adding transfers a portion of urine (think about it... not for too long). These go on very easily and no need for any snipping anywhere.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3239.jpg)

Though I am concerned I have put the wrong number on my Rhino:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3214.jpg)

I used the number 'I' as it was my first tank and seemed like a reasonable suggestion, as I couldn't really see any guidance anywhere else. However since doing that I found this section of the new Space Marine Codex:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3218.jpg)

Which suggests I should have used the yellow 'II' for my traditionally Second Company Marines. Bollocks.

What I don't get is why that transfer has been included in the kit (along with all the numbers on yellow backgrounds), when it seems like you can't sodding use them anyway? Anyone? Anyone?!?! The 'I' needs to be on white doesn't it? Makes no sense!

The large Tactical Squad arrow painted on the roof doors of the Rhino is not a transfer; instead I marked out the arrow shape using masking tape. Which is ideal as it doesn't take off any of the paint when you remove it.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3202.jpg)

And then painted the arrow design in my usual white colours (Ulthuan Grey base, then layered with White Scar), before peeling away the tape and then touching up the blue.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3203.jpg)

I'd highly recommend the masking tape method here as you'll find it hard painting straight lines this long with freehand!

While I am on the subject of my Rhino, many thanks to @NinjaNathUK (second mention this blog, could be the start of a relationship), for providing me a guide to painting the control screens on the Rhino. Ta.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3163.jpg)

Scout Squad

Observant types, with not much else going on in their life, may have noticed I finished my Scout Squad a while back, see Update 102. However I struggled with their shoulder pads, as annoyingly the Chapter symbols supplied in the Space Marine Battleforce set are only the right size for the Tactical Squad shoulder pads and completely swamp the smaller Scout ones.

Add to that the fact that I have no idea what to put on their right shoulder pad, because every single picture I can find of the 'Eavy Metal painted versions has their right shoulder turned away from camera. Look...

On the Battleforce Box:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3223.jpg)

On the Games Workshop website:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3235.jpg)

In last month's Space Marine fuelled White Dwarf:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3232.jpg)

In the brand new Space Marine Codex:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3221.jpg)

In the old Space Marine Codex:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3226.jpg)

See no shots anywhere. For all we know it could be a picture of a cock and balls on their right shoulder pad, or something completely ridiculous like a Shakeaway Milkshake *blushes*.

So defeated on all sides I decided it was time for some free hand work!!

First up I went to paint the classic Ultramarine symbol on the left shoulder pads. By no means am I claiming to be an expert, but despite that I am still going to pass on some tips. First up when painting symbols based on characters from the Roman alphabet, it's very tempting to simply paint on the shape in the same way that you'd hand draw it. To get a good looking symbol it's important to consider the font and look at the features worth replicating in your version. For the Ultramarine 'U' the 'U' is much squatter than a written 'U' (as it's really based on an upside down Greek Omega Ω), I also took note that the horizontal pieces at the top of the uprights are pretty short, and that the 'U' is much wider at the base that the top. Baring these points in mind allowed me to replicate the font much better.

It almost goes without saying, but keep a reference picture to hand at all times as you do the drawing, so you know what you are trying to do (better than doing it from memory) and can see the key points you worked out above.

First up I painted a very rough symbol using a neutral colour of Nurgling Green (that would be completely covered), as you can see this was the very basic shape – almost a pencil outline.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3204.jpg)

I then tidied up the symbol by covering it over with Ulthuan Grey (my usual White base colour), and Alaitoc Blue to touch up the shoulder pad, before finally painting the finished symbol in White Scar.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3205.jpg)

By layering the symbol in this way, rather than trying to just paint it on straight away, it gives me many opportunities to tidy up the symbol as I go. And I'm reasonably pleased with the finished result.

For the other shoulder pad, I solicited the masses on Twitter for suggestions and got one reply from @paternova (many thanks) who suggested the company number in a circle. An excellent idea.

Not sure how this would come out I practised the symbol on a Strepsils box, because I was ill. Send sympathy now please.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3206.jpg)

First up I painted the circle, in much the same way as the above Chapter symbol, using Nurgling Green, the Ulthuan Grey and White Scar.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3207.jpg)

I don't know much about the Space Marine organisation, but I have just about worked out 'X' is the company number for Scouts. I knew the Ladybird Book of Ultramarines would come in handy.

For my reference I used this handy snap from the £7,000 Ultramarine Chapter deal.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3208.jpg)

In fairness if anything was going to put you off purchasing this, it's the thought of repeating these hand-painted designs on the 140 Scout shoulder pads provided!!

I copied the 'X' from the Scout Company, as with the Chapter symbol above I looked for details in the 'X' to copy. Firstly I noted the two diagonal strokes of the 'X' don't pass through each other at right angles, (otherwise you'll have a squat 'X'). I also noted the four smaller horizontal strokes, and the fact that the diagonal stroke going top left to bottom right is thicker than the other one. Baring these details in mind I replicated the symbol firstly in Dawnstone:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3209.jpg)

And then repainting the final design in Abaddon Black:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3210.jpg)

Phew all done! Never buying another scout again.

Probably.

108.2 – Hobby Progress

The main news this week is that I finished painting up my Shaggoth, and I dare say I'm mightily impressed with the results.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3261.jpg)

More photos and a full painting guide below. Just wanted to take some time to note a few things about the model and paint job. Firstly this is a gorgeous model, absolutely brilliant with a whole host of great textures to paint from the Dragon skin to the scales, cloth, wood, metal, hair, horns, Ogre skin and rock. And it's beautifully rendered in Finecast – whatever you think of Finecast, this model was undeniably great – so smooth, and simple to assemble (the metal version would have killed me by now).

I added in the snow to match my Chaos basing, and then some icicles, both to detail the model's base and to add another texture to the rich model. I wasn't quite sure what to do with the little creatures in the Shaggoth's hair, I think they were supposed to be Ungor when the model was initially made, but as it's now moved to Warriors of Chaos army this didn't feel right. In the end I painted them as baby Shaggoth, not really sure if this is how Dragon Ogres have babies – if they even do, they are an old race. But it seemed to look ok, so there done. Discussion over.

Finally of note, my Warriors of Chaos army is a Tzeentch army, however the Shaggoth (like the Chaos Trolls and Dragon Ogres before), can't have a Mark of Chaos. So rather than painting the metals the bright golds and blues of my Tzeentch colour scheme, I've matched them to my subdued dirtier Beastmen look, which seems to work well. I also had to try and replicate the Dragon Ogre colour scheme; I painted years and years ago before this blog even existed and certainly before I noted my colours down. Still I think it worked out ok:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3253.jpg)

108.3 – Dragon Ogre Shaggoth Painting Guide

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3273.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3268.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3270.jpg)

Dragon Ogre Shaggoth Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3211.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Rock: Stormvermin Fur
Claws: Steel Legion Drab
Dragon Flesh: Orkhide Shade
Cloth: Steel Legion Drab
Scales: Chaos Black
Ogre Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hair: Chaos Black
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Brass Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Wood: Chaos Black


Dragon Ogre Shaggoth Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3212.jpg)

Base: Recoat Baneblade Brown
Rock: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Claws: Wash Nuln Oil
Dragon Flesh: Layer 1:1 Orkhide Shade / Dark Angels Green, then layer Dark Angels Green
Cloth: Layer Baneblade Brown
Scales: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Codex Grey
Ogre Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Hair: Drybrush Scorched Brown
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal:  Wash Devlan Mud
Brass Metal: Wash Devlan Mud
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Wood: Drybrush 1:1 Chaos Black/Codex Grey


Dragon Ogre Shaggoth Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3213.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Rock: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Claws: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Rakarth Flesh
Dragon Flesh: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green, then layer Snot Green
Cloth: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown /Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Scales: Highlight Codex Grey
Ogre Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Drybrush Beastial Brown
Leather: Layer Scorched Brown, then layer 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown
Silver Metal:  Highlight 1:1 Boltgun Metal/Chainmail
Brass Metal: Highlight 4:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey


Dragon Ogre Shaggoth Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3265.jpg)

Base: Flock with Scorched Grass, then Citadel Snow
Rock: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Claws: Layer Bleached Bone, then layer 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Dragon Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Snot Green/Bleached Bone, then wash Thraka Green
Cloth: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then Bleached Bone
Scales: Highlight Fortress Grey, then wash Nuln Oil
Ogre Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Hair: Drybrush Snakebite Leather, then wash Nuln Oil
Leather:  Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal:  Highlight Chainmail
Brass Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey, then wash Nuln Oil


108.4 – Get In Touch

That's you lot for this time, hope you enjoyed. Your comments are welcomed, in fact desperately needed. I am locked in a blog writing dungeon, and food is only distributed when I get a comment. So please reply as I'm currently thinner than Posh Spice.

You can also find me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers, thank you for all my new followers and kind comments over the last week, didn't result in any food distribution but it warms my cold heart.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on September 26, 2013, 03:03:23 pm
Nice work as always - what did you use for the snow on the bases, out of interest?

Yes, I'm too lazy to open a new tab and Google for answers. :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 26, 2013, 03:26:42 pm
Quote from: underscore on September 26, 2013, 03:03:23 pm
Nice work as always - what did you use for the snow on the bases, out of interest?

Yes, I'm too lazy to open a new tab and Google for answers. :)

Many thanks.

The snow is the Games Workshop Citadel Snow:

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat470007a&prodId=prod1390183a (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat470007a&prodId=prod1390183a)

For the patchy look, I glue patches of Snow on with PVA glue, this dries slightly grey. So I then add another layer once this has dried, glued with a mixture of PVA glue and white paint. This results in a slightly melting look, with the clear white surrounded with grey slush. If you just do the white paint/glue straight off it looks a bit like a bird poo!! (Though would probably be fine if you were doing a full snow covered base with a white undercoat).

The icicles are from the Northern Wastes basing kit:

http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat470007a&prodId=prod1760014a (http://www.games-workshop.com/gws/catalog/productDetail.jsp?catId=cat470007a&prodId=prod1760014a)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 27, 2013, 11:55:05 am
I like what you did with the bases Matt. Good bases always add a lot to a model I think
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 27, 2013, 05:50:30 pm
Quote from: roland murat on September 27, 2013, 11:55:05 am
I like what you did with the bases Matt. Good bases always add a lot to a model I think


Cheers, to be honest I had a great starting point with that large lump of slate for him to stand on.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on October 03, 2013, 04:27:02 pm

+1 on the impressive basing.

One thing I am curious about, where do you get your small rocks from that these guys invariably end up perching on? did you get one of the basing kits full of bags of small stones or do you just pick them up whilst you're out an about?

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 06, 2013, 11:05:03 pm
Quote from: DarkStalker on October 03, 2013, 04:27:02 pm
+1 on the impressive basing.

One thing I am curious about, where do you get your small rocks from that these guys invariably end up perching on? did you get one of the basing kits full of bags of small stones or do you just pick them up whilst you're out an about?


Many thanks glad you like. I am pretty pleased with the basing myself. Supposed to look Martian-esque and seems to have come out well. The stones are from the basing kits, I'm pretty sure it's the Warhammer 40,000 one that I get those size rocks from (Warhammer basing kit had smaller more angular pieces). There seem to be different grades in each kit, but I can't say whether that is intentional or just what they have in Games Workshop's garden at the time, I know my latest pot of GW sand is a lot fine than my previous batch. That's probably no help at all!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on October 07, 2013, 10:18:49 am
Cheers matt, I'd noticed 'rocks' appearing on a few of your models and only just found out a couple of weeks back you get things like that in a special basing kit (I dunno, I'd always assumed you had a well stocked mini quarry/gravel area in your back garden or something ;p)

They do look quite snazzy so I might have to invest in some now.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 07, 2013, 11:29:50 am
Quote from: DarkStalker on October 07, 2013, 10:18:49 am
Cheers matt, I'd noticed 'rocks' appearing on a few of your models and only just found out a couple of weeks back you get things like that in a special basing kit (I dunno, I'd always assumed you had a well stocked mini quarry/gravel area in your back garden or something ;p)

They do look quite snazzy so I might have to invest in some now.

The resin pieces are what make them worth it, in my opinion, there's a good set in each of the Warhammer/Warhammer 40,000 Basing Kits. And themed ones in SOME (but not all) of the limited edition ones still on the GW website. If you don't want the resin bits, you're probably better off cost wise rummaging in the garden!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: DarkStalker on October 08, 2013, 02:09:47 pm
Yeah the resin stuff I probably wouldn't be using so I might go explore a little further in my usual basing supplies areas:

-> I find model railway scenery stuff usually sells grass in packs much larger and cheaper than the GW stuff £1-£2 for a big bag...  I'll bet either they or eBay also do big cheap bags of stones, snow, random rocky debris etc etc to build my basing efforts up a little

That and I probably need to eBay one of these £8 'huge pile of scrap unsorted GW plastic bits' for some random basing debris too...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 10, 2013, 08:37:48 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 109 – Ménage à Teclis Tuesday 8th October 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

109.1 Wandsworth WAAAGH!!!

Apologies for the shouty subheading, hope you weren't defended. But this week I will mainly be talking about my recent battlefield successes and failures (not necessarily distributed in a 50:50 manner), at a recent mini Wandsworth WAAAGH! Or wandsworth waaagh if you prefer. Get it?! Don't know why I bother.

I decided to take my trusty High Elves, which due to extreme lethargy on my part have only had one previous outing under their new book. The only restriction under the 'comp' was no duplicates of units, and given I had never taken him before, despite painting. I felt this would be the perfect chance to give Teclis a whirl. Who, I am reliably informed, isn't quite as filthy as he used to be. Building an army around him, with the main consideration being I didn't want to take any fragile models resulted in the following army list:

Teclis (450 points)
450 points

Noble (70 points)
+ Battle Standard Bearer (25 points)
+ Dragon Armour (10 points)
+ Great Weapon (4 points)
+ Longbow (5 points)
+ Banner of the World Dragon (50 points)
164 points

Mage (85 points)
+ Level 2 Upgrade (25 points)
+ Khanie's Ring of Fury (25 points)
+ Opal Amulet (15 points)
150 points

30 Lothern Sea Guard (330 points)
+ Standard Bearer (10 points)
+ Musician (10 points)
+ Sea Master (10 points)
360 points

22 Archers (220 points)
+ Standard Bearer (10 points)
+ Musician (10 points)
+ Hawk Eye (10 points)
200 points

5 Dragon Princes of Caledor (145 points)
+ Standard Bearer (10 points)
+ Musician (10 points)
+ Drakemaster (10 points)
175 points

15 Swordmasters of Hoeth (195 points)
+ Standard Bearer (10 points)
+ Musician (10 points)
+ Bladelord (10 points)
225 points

10 Sisters of Avelorn (140 points)
+ High Sister (10 points)
150 points

Eagle Claw Bolt Thrower (70 points)
70 points

TOTAL:  1,994 points

A top tip here when using new models/books is to always read the rules properly. I read Teclis as being able to choose High Magic or any of the eight main lores and know all the spells. Whereas in fact he can either take all of the High Magic deck or choose one spell from each of the eight lores. Tasty. I took High Magic, but bear in mind I do generate a tasty stackable ward save, which came in use as you shall now see.

109.2 Battle 1: Gareth's Daemons of Chaos

Turns out Nurgle is the new black as far as Daemons are concerned, as Gareth's list proved. His army was led by a Daemon Prince of Nurgle, accompanied by a block of Beasts of Nurgle and a large unit of Plaguebearers led by a Herald of Nurgle. There were some Furies too, a contingent of Tzeentch in the shape of some Horrors and the Blue Scribes of Tzeentch. And in a completely fluffy move Khorne had sent along a Skull Cannon. Slaanesh meanwhile could go and get f**ed.

This was my first time facing the new Daemons of Chaos army book and as such I carefully considered a battle plan, before plonking my High Elves on the table and hoping for the best.

Turn 1

Turn 1 pretty much consisted of the Daemons advancing on the High Elf battle lines. The Elves at long range were able to strike down a few Plaguebearers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3284.jpg)
It's not the photo, you need your eyes tested.

The main moment of note was that the Skull Cannon destroyed the Repeater Bolt Thrower causing Teclis and the large block of Lothern Sea Guard to panic (despite leadership 10). They rolled sufficient to flee the board, but Gareth generously said I could position them just short of the board edge to keep the game vaguely enjoyable!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3286.jpg)
The Sea Guard cling on to the table edge for dear life.

Turn 2

The Dragon Princes took the bait of Gareth's Blue Scribes and charged them wiping them out, but positioning them away from the main battle.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3285.jpg)
The Dragon Princes trundle off for a picnic on the board edge.

The Sisters of Avelorn and Archers poured arrow fire into the Beasts doing a handful of wounds. Hoping to move the Swordmasters out of position, Gareth made an uncharacteristic mistake positioning the Furies so the Swordmasters would charge them next turn and exposing their flank to the Plaguebearers but forgetting the Swordmasters might have an opportunity to reform.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3287.jpg)
The Mage points at the next target for the Swordmasters with his impressive pointy stick.

Turn 3

As expected the Swordmasters butchered the Furies before they could respond. While the rain of arrows continued on the Beasts.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3290.jpg)
They're coming, keep firing!

In response Gareth declared a number of charges, the Daemon Prince charged the Dragon Princes to find out who was the better Prince under the D-section of the alphabet. The Beasts charge Teclis and the Sea Guard, whilst the Plaguebearers charge the Swordmasters.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3291.jpg)
F**K they're here!

The Dragon Princes lose the combat but don't break. Teclis and the Sea Guard dish out a surprising number of wounds to the Beasts and remain in combat. The Banner of the World Dragon saves all the Swordmasters as they start hacking at the Plaguebearers.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3292.jpg)
Of course we haven't got The Banner of the World Dragon. Oh ok we do! Hahahaha.

Turn 4

With most Daemon units locked in combat the Archers and Sisters of Avelorn attempt to shoot the Skull Cannon but cannot penetrate it's armoured exterior. The Celestial Mage casts Comet of Cassandora at the rear of the Plaguebearer unit, confident the Banner of the World Dragon will save the Swordmasters. Teclis casts a number of essentially pointless High Magic spells to give the Sea Guard a 4+ Ward Save, however it is not enough to save him as the Beasts kill him in combat. Though the Sea Guard hold.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3296.jpg)
Those Sea Guard aren't dead honest, they're just going on holiday.

Meanwhile the Dragon Princes are wiped out by the Daemon Prince.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3293.jpg)
Dragons are better than Daemons. No Daemons are better than Dragons. Ok you win.

Turn 5

After much combat the Swordmasters finally hack down the last of the Plaguebearers and their Herald. Only for the Comet to come down and engulf their unit, however the Banner of the World Dragon allows them to emerge unscathed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3297.jpg)
Plague? What Plague? We've got Tamiflu.

Again the High Elf shooting fails to wound the Skull Cannon, which guns down half the Sisters of Avelorn with grapeshot. The Beasts of Nurgle finally break the Lothern Sea Guard who flee the board.

Turn 6

Again the might of High Elf archery can't scratch the Skull Cannon. In return it charges the Sisters of Avelorn. The Beasts and Daemon Prince flank charge the Archers who flee to avoid giving up points. The chargers redirect to join the Skull Cannon and crush the remaining Sisters of Avelorn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3303.jpg)
Charge!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3300.jpg)
Flee!

Result

The final score was a 13-7 loss for the High Elves. And yes I did feel dirty for having used the Banner of the World Dragon in such a way. But hey it was Daemons!

109.3 Battle 2: Pete's Skaven

As is the case with school life losers often congregate. And so I was pitted against fellow first round loser Pete and his Skaven army, which broadly consisted of the following, I may have lost track there's a lot of Skaven in an army. A Grey Seer and Warlock Engineer leading a block of Clanrats, a large block of Plague Monks, a large block of Slaves, and a Hell Pit Abomination - predictable! Throt who lead a block of Rat Ogres (I'd been warned how filthy Rat Ogres with regeneration are by Pete's previous opponent, so predictably watched as Pete rolled regeneration for their ability this game). The army was rounded of by Skweel leading a large Giant Rat Pack.

My vague semblance of a plan was to put my large infantry units around a forest in my deployment zone, and thus face the Skaven where they would no longer be steadfast. Genius. If I could pull it off.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3305.jpg)
Come fight us in this forest, you know you want to.

Turn 1

As predicted Turn 1 saw the chittering Skaven horde advance upon the High Elf battle line.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3306.jpg)
No not that forest, the other one!!

The only real attack was from Vermintide, but Pete failed to roll the range required to reach any of the Elves. In response the Archers and Sea Guard shot six Plague Monks and the Sisters of Avelorn put their flaming arrows to good use killing off a Rat Ogre.

Turn 2

The Skaven suddenly remember they packed a Storm Banner and deploy it blocking out the Sun* with raging storm clouds (*sadly the celestial body not the newspaper). The Rat Ogres charge the Sisters of Avelorn who flee and escape. The Plague Monks charge the Swordmasters who, as part of the engage the Skaven in the forest plan, fall back through the forest.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3307.jpg)
We're not running, it is strategic.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3308.jpg)
We are running, S**T they are great big filthy Rat Ogres. RUN!!

Though the Swordmasters are hit by a Doom Rocket killing six of their number. In their turn the Sisters fail to rally, but stay on the board.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3309.jpg)
Keep running! They're still filthy!

Annoyed Teclis casts Fiery Convocation on the Plague Monks wiping out 17 of their number. The Moonstaff of Lieath draining away the dangerous miscast. With the Storm Banner in play the High Elf archery fails to do anything of note.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3310.jpg)
Rentokill have been called. Bye bye Plague Monks.

Turn 3

The Skaven turn is largely ineffective as the Rat Pack fails to charge the Dragon Princes and Teclis ensures that Plague is dispelled. Fearing Teclis recasting Fiery Convocation, the Grey Seer passes the opportunity to dispel it, figuring the Plague Monks strength has been so badly reduced that they won't be much use, as he hopes Teclis will keep the spell going but will struggle to burn every last rat.

In return Teclis miscasts Soul Quench on the Hell Pit Abomination doing 5 wounds, as it's regenerative powers briefly dessert it. Teclis and the Celestial Mage both emerge unscathed from the resultant Strength 6 hit. The Sisters of Avelorn rally at the back of the edge of the board. And despite the Storm Banner the Archers manage to kill a Rat Ogre bearing down on them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3311.jpg)
Any chance this storm could end soon please, we haven't bought umbrellas?

Turn 4

The Skaven respond aggressively as the Rat Ogres charge the Archers, who must stay and fight rather than flee the board. The Grey Seer dabbles with too much power miscasting Plague which wipes out 9 Lothern Sea Guard and wounds Teclis. However the Grey Seer survives the effects.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3314.jpg)
Nearly in the forest, just a little bit further.
In an impressive display of martial prowess the Archers kill Throt and 2 Rat Ogres in hand to hand. However it's not enough to stop the rest of the Rat Ogres wiping the Archers out to a man. The Rat Ogres then overrun into the Sisters of Avelorn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3313.jpg)
I knew we should have run further.

The High Elves retake the initiative with the Swordmasters and Lothern Sea Guard charging the Slaves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3317.jpg)
Oh it's near enough the forest! CHARGE!!.

The Dragon Princes lower the lances and plough into the Giant Rats.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3316.jpg)
We were promised first charge, that's the only reason we turned up.

The Celestial Mage weakens the Slaves with Curse of the Midnight Wind in an effort to reduce Elven casualties. The Warlock Engineer, who abandoned his Clan Rats to get a better shot, is gunned down at virtually point blank range by the Repeater Bolt Thrower.

Skweel refuses a challenge by the Dragon Prince champion in the hope of waiting until they've used their lances. The Elven knights kill six rats for no loss, despite being steadfast on leadership 10, Skweel's nerve breaks and the Giant Rats flee flee and are rundown by the victorious Dragon Princes. Despite horrendous losses the Slaves refuse to turn tail and carry on fighting.

Turn 5

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3315.jpg)
Let's eat more Elves! It's only a Bolt Thrower. Sod it, we need a good tooth pick.

The Rat Ogres charge the Bolt Thrower in the flank, threatening to overrun into the Swordmasters' flank. The Grey Seer casts Bless with Filth on the Rat Ogres, unable to control the power a massive explosion engulfs the tightly packed Skaven ranks. The Grey Seer emerges unscathed, but nine Clan Rats and eight Slaves are less fortunate.

The Bolt Thrower crew valiantly attempt to defend the machine inflicting the maximum two wounds on the Rat Ogres they can do. However it's no use as the Rat Ogres butcher them and plough into the Swordmasters' flank. But limited frontage, curtails the Rat Ogres to causing only four wounds on the Swordmasters. In return the Elves kill 14 Slaves. The Slaves scatter in all directions and the Rat Ogres run only to be chased down by Teclis and the Lothern Sea Guard.

Turn 6

With very few Skaven left it becomes a mopping up job for the Elves. Soul Quench firstly from Teclis and then from the Celestial Mage's Ring of Fury reduce the Clanrats and Grey Seer to a pile of smouldering fur. The final act of the game was for the one remaining Plague Monk to be consumed by Fiery Convocation.

Result

Despite the Skaven wiping out all my missile troops, it was still a 20-0 defeat. In fairness I was as surprised as anyone and demanded a recount myself, but it was still 20-0!

109.4 Battle 3: Ed's High Elves

It was civil war for the final game as High Elf fought High Elf in a battle to win the Daz Doorstep Challenge and lay claim to the whitest of the white cloth. Ed's army was built around a horde of White Lions armed with the Banner of the World Dragon and accompanied by Teclis. I mean who would be that filthy? Yeah ok fair point I deserved it. They were accompanied by a Battle Standard Bearer and a Mage. In other unit news, there was a small unit of Silver Helms, a Frostheart Phoenix (I still consider that new-fangled!), a block of Archers and some Reavers.

So I didn't really know what to do at all in terms of plan here. The White Lions were clearly going to Muller Light anything in my army. Based on the sort of success, of my battle plan against the Skaven, I decided my cunning plan would be to engage the White Lions in the forest where they would lose their steadfast and I'd stand a chance of breaking them. This would be a good plan bar two minor details I later remembered: White Lions have the Woodstrider rule so are unaffected by the forest. And White Lions are stubborn anyway so it wouldn't matter anyway. Other than those small problems, it's a fool proof plan.

For the purposes of making this report easier I will refer to Ed's army as the "evil" army, and mine as the "good" one. Just random words I've chosen, no meaning or bitterness should be inferred.

Turn 1

The game begins with Evil Teclis failingmto cast Dwellers Bellow on the Lothern Sea Guard unit. The evil Archers launch a volley of arrows at the good Sisters of Avelorn killing seven of them. The remainder flee for safety, but rally in their own turn.

Good Teclis is unable to get any spells past Bad Teclis as the two vie for magical superiority. Despite the evil Frost Phoenix gaining a 4+ Ward Save from the Winds of Magic, the good Archers manage to shoot three wounds off the icy beast.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3318.jpg)
See that pile of blue feathers over there? Shoot it.

Turn 2

The Elven standoff continues. Again evil Teclis fails to roll the casting value for Dwellers Bellow. However his assistant mage does manage to cast Flaming Sword on the evil Archers. With their increased power the evil Archers are able to shoot the crew of the good Bolt Thrower dead.

Good Teclis responds by killing two evil Silver Helms with the ever handy Soul Quench. The good Archers and Sisters of Avelorn are unable to repeat their success last turn as they fail to penetrate the tough ice encrusted hide of the evil Phoenix.

Turn 3

Annoyed by the pattering of arrows against its frozen hide the evil Frostheart Phoenix charges the good Archers. They take five wounds though do manage to get a single wound against the frosty beast.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3319.jpg)
Hang on a minute, how can he be beating us? He only has one wing!

Evil Teclis finally manages to cast Dwellers Below, only for Good Teclis to destroy the spell.

In response the good Dragon Princes charge the evil Silver Helms, but in a perfect television commercial for the Elven Chainmail Association not a single wound could penetrate either side's armour. Meanwhile the good Celestial Mage summoned a Comet above the ranks of the evil Archers.

Turn 4

The evil White Lions charge into good Teclis and the Lothern Sea Guard. While the evil Reavers charged the remaining good Sisters of Avelorn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3320.jpg)
It's battle of the periphery units, kind of like Xtra Factor to the X Factor of the White Lions.

The good Swordmasters come under fire from the evil Archers and despite trying to slice the arrows out of the sky with their swords, four of their number fall. In combat the evil Ellyrian Reavers and the good Sisters of Avelorn each kill two a piece just leaving the unit champions locked in combat. The evil Frostheart Phoenix stomps over the remaining good Archers. The good Dragon Princes and the evil Silver Helms kill one of their rivals each.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3321.jpg)
They're Elves too, why are we fighting them? Ssshhh you are ruining it for everyone.

In the main combat the good Lothern Sea Guard strike first taking down the evil Mage and eight of the evil White Lions, however the White Lions strike back killing good Teclis, the Battle Standard Bearer and eight of the Lothern Sea Guard. The Lothern Sea Guard remain one model short of being steadfast, and break, only to be rundown by the victorious evil White Lions.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3322.jpg)
Hang on if this is Teclis, who's that?!.

Turn 5

The good Swordmasters attempt to get revenge and strip the last two wounds from the evil Phoenix, but they fail to reach the beast. The Comet of Cassadora comes down killing eleven evil Archers and causing them to panic and flee, but they rally before reaching the table edge. The remaining good Mage casts Iceshard Blizzard on the sole Reaver hoping to tip the tables in combat for the Sisters of Averlon champion. He also casts the Comet of Cassandora again on the evil Archers, but he miscasts and he loses all spells. The good Dragon Princes and the evil Silver Helms fail to wound each other again, but the Dragon Princes break Silver Helms due to their standard, despite a reroll for the presence of the Battle Standard Bearer. The Dragon Princes run down the Silver Helms. The Reaver manages to kill the final good Sister of Avelorn.

Turn 6

The Comet of Cassandora to come down killing eight evil Archers, however they hold their nerve and don't flee.

With the good Dragon Princes out of the reach of the evil High Elf army, all that remains is for the rest of the evil army to charge in and butcher the good Swordmasters.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3325.jpg)
So we'll call it a draw, what do you reckon?

Results

Despite my hopes that maybe mathematics would have changed and I might still be triumphant, adding up the victory points resulted in a 20-0 loss for my High Elves. Which to be fair was entirely deserved due to my inability to come up with even the vaguest semblance of a battle plan, and the appalling jokes I subject my competitors too. Apologies.

109.5 – Final Results

Overall I finished 4th or 5th (can't quite remember), a very impressive tournament placing I'll think you'll agree. I won't mention the fact there were only six competitors, no one need know that. Thanks as always to all my competitors for putting up with me taking notes and photos, but mostly for putting up with me, and for being good sports. And to Ol for all his excellent organising skills, much appreciated.

109.6 – Get In Touch

As always you can get in touch and tell me what a useless tactical moron I am (like a Tactical Marine but with less snazzy shoulder pads),  or if you're more pleasant you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers. Welcome to all my new followers over the last couple of weeks. There is no escape.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Dave on October 10, 2013, 11:46:34 am
Umm only thing I spotted that wasn't tactical morondom but possibly a rules error was the skaven doomrocket killing 6 of your swordmasters.  If memory serves from game 1 they had the banner of the world dragon, and the doom rocket is a magic item, therefore makes magical attacks, so you'd have had a 2+ ward against them.  But if the BotWD was on the BSB and not in the unit then ignore me.

Great reports, really enjoyed reading them and nice looking armies on show. 

On the daemons report you mentioned that slannesh can go f*** itself, more than likely that was why they never turned up for the fight.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on October 10, 2013, 12:23:51 pm
Good point. I'm sure there must be some way out of counting them as magical though. I mean, we're Skaven, we always have a get out! :P

I'm still bitter that the last Plague Monk couldn't man up for one last round though - he had one job to do and burning to death alone in a dank, dark tower was not it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 12, 2013, 12:03:52 pm
Quote from: Dave on October 10, 2013, 11:46:34 am
Umm only thing I spotted that wasn't tactical morondom but possibly a rules error was the skaven doomrocket killing 6 of your swordmasters.  If memory serves from game 1 they had the banner of the world dragon, and the doom rocket is a magic item, therefore makes magical attacks, so you'd have had a 2+ ward against them.

Typical fecking Skaven filth!  :wink;m::

Quote from: Dave on October 10, 2013, 11:46:34 am
Great reports, really enjoyed reading them and nice looking armies on show. 

On the daemons report you mentioned that slannesh can go f*** itself, more than likely that was why they never turned up for the fight.

Many thanks. In fairness if I had the dexterity to f*** myself, I probably wouldn't have turned up until at least Game 2

Quote from: underscore on October 10, 2013, 12:23:51 pm
I'm still bitter that the last Plague Monk couldn't man up for one last round though - he had one job to do and burning to death alone in a dank, dark tower was not it!

Yes turns out rats burn nicely! Mooo hahahahahahahaha!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 11, 2013, 12:17:37 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 110 – Clearing out the Hobby Shed Monday 11th November 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

110.1 Hobby Avoidance

We've all got things we've put of doing for months, clearing out the shed, descaling the kettle, going to the sexual health clinic, writing this blog. The list is virtually endless. And of course the avoided chores don't just dominate real life, they dominate hobby life too. Who hasn't put off finishing painting some important model, because they've been distracted by doing another far more fun model? I know I certainly have. I have a whole shelf littered with part built and part assembled models, all bought with the best intentions that they will get painted up straight away.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3332.jpg)

As you can see the shelf also includes various casualties of battle that I haven't got round to fixing, pretty much always including White Lions!

There are a number of reasons why models get moved onto the damned realm of the "I'll get back to this at some point" shelf. Perhaps army fatigue, this often happened with Beastmen, after playing a particularly depressing game in which my entire army was removed from the table after only inflicting one wound in return (usually on my own army after taking a particularly inappropriate magic item). The resulting post mortem sadness would relegate any part painted Beasty models up to the shelf only to return to the normal painting zone when sufficient time had passed since the Beastmen had last been trounced.

Failing the periodic oscillations in enthusiasm for my various armies, the main thing that puts me off finishing off a key model is if there's some kind of tricky construction task. Something I've maybe never faced before, requires me to buy a new hobby supply, or simply seems fiddly and off putting. In my mind the required technical skill and effort increases in direct proportion to the amount time I've spent avoiding the task, until in my mind it's become so complicated that even Gordon Burns, host of The Krypton Factor would struggle to be able to achieve it.

Typical things that can be put off forever include:

I'm sure there's more reasons and things you end up putting off, why not let me know? I can think of a thousand reasons not to bother, but why not waste your life and tell me?

110.2 Magnetising

Following the theme of new construction techniques I've been putting off. I have for several years now been putting off the concept of magnetising models.

Back in Update 3, yes Update number three – a hundred thousand years ago. I bought the, then, new Chaos Lord on Manticore kit convinced I would build and assemble it within a few weeks of purchase. So far so good.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/ProcrastinationbyNumbers014.jpg)

Warhammer aficionados, by which I mean geeks, will remember that the Chaos Lord on Manticore kit came out at the same time as the Storm of Magic expansion. And that additionally the Manticore can be built with or without rider for use in said games. This is achieved through two heads being supplied, one with chair and one without. Examining the model during the construction process, I realised it would be rather simple, in theory, to magnetise the two heads and make them interchangeable.
However the thought of dealing with this filled me with dread. It was like I had inhaled from a party balloon filled with doom instead of helium, and instead of voice going high and squeaky it had instead become full of dark foreboding undertones. I don't know why, there's no logic. But I didn't know what kit to buy, how to start, what to do. I was convinced it was all going to go wrong. It was all a disaster in the making. I may be exaggerating here. This combined with the fact that my attempts to construct the Chaos Lord had resulted in him not being able to sit properly upset me so greatly that Manticore and rider were both banished to the never to be finished shelf to gather dust.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3331.jpg)

Now over two years later, I've decided enough is enough the Manticore must be dusted and built. And so I've had a go at the magnetising.

Two points to note, normally I do produce excellent (well they are, don't deny it) guides to my techniques. However this time I ashamed to say I have failed you. Too much of this project involved shoddy gouging and hacking and far too few technical achievements. The shame.

Secondly I essentially copied the guide supplied by Dave here:
http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3512.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3512.0)

See the 6th reply on this link, which is both excellent and better than anything I could write.

First up I purchased a new hobby drill, in this case the Army Painter one, and also a bag of magnets.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3327.jpg)

I'm not a big Games Workshop basher (or "Games Workshop badger" as autocorrect prefers), but I have to admit the Army Painter Hobby Drill is much better than the Citadel one. It just is. Sturdier, bigger range of drill bits, better.

Measuring up all the bits and pieces I hit my first snag. The Hobby Drill didn't have a drill bit big enough to drill a hole for the magnets. Boo. So a quick trip to the DIY store saw me get a 4mm drill bit. However sadly they didn't have a hand drill, and I really didn't have the testosterone to attack my models with an electric drill.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3333.jpg)

So annoyed at the potential of having to delay the Manticore again. I'm ashamed to say that after drilling a pilot hole with a smaller drill bit, I then gouged out an appropriate size hole with the drill bit. Shameful I know. Anyway it did the trick. And despite having to green stuff a few holes back together after drilling right through the inner plastic, oops, my holes were drilled.

So after years of being on the side-lines my Manticore is magnetised.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3334.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3335.jpg)

And whilst all the glue was drying I went about disassembling and rebuilding the Chaos Lord so now he can actually sit on the Manticore! The riders are a pretty snug fit on the chair, meaning they almost certainly won't fit it on it after a couple of layers of paint!! But also meaning I didn't feel a need to magnetise them to the chair. I can simply swap between Lord and Sorcerer as I see fit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3336.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3337.jpg)

In Dave's original notes he commented how you must make sure you get the polarity of the magnets correct. My initial thoughts were "Who could possibly be that stupid?". Turns out the answer to that question was me. As my next magnetising job was on my Phoenix, so that he could either be used with or without rider. Sadly I got the polarity of magnets the wrong way round meaning rather than being magnetised onto his mount my Anointed of Asuryan is repelled off the Phoenix like he's activated an ejector seat! Fortunately a bit of gouging and digging meant I could retrieve the well glued magnet and reverse its polarity. Hence a happy Phoenix and rider.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3338.jpg)

Whilst on the Phoenix topic I should point out that I had a cunning plan for my making my model as multipurpose as possible. I covered the small amount of flames around the Anointed of Asuryan's chair with green stuff and tried to make them an extension of the throne.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3326.jpg)

The plan being that when I get round to adding a Frostheart Phoenix to my army I could use this Anointed of Asuryan on either Phoenix. Allowing me to build Caradryan and the Anointed of Asuryan on foot with the second kit. This would give me all the options from just two kits. I say 'just' two. You know what I mean!! I thought it was reasonably cunning.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3339.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3340.jpg)

Fingers crossed I will get the Phoenix finished soon, so you can see it in all its glory.

110.3 Warhammer Bake Off

On a completely unrelated note those of you poor souls who follow me on Twitter: @ProbyNumbers, will know that I have decided to bake my next Warhammer army. Well if Annie can make her army out of farmyard animals it seems only fair!

First up was this Spirit Host made out of meringue:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3330.jpg)

Then for some scenery to accompany it I made this Garden of Morr:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3328.jpg)

And finally I made an attempt an Arachnarok Spider. Though my webbing icing went a bit runny, still meets three colour minimum required for tournaments though:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3329.jpg)

I'd like to say that you'll be seeing these models on the table top soon...but sadly I ate about 600 points worth of models over the weekend. Oh well, extra flab for the winter I guess.

Until next time friends, or more likely enemies...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on November 11, 2013, 12:33:27 pm
Having magnetised the weapons on all my big tau and Eldar robots, I too know the pain of realising you have the poles what wrong way round despite repeated double checks...
Well worth it though once you have finished..

Having gone through a complete GW rage quit, not sure I will be painting my 40k daemons any more any time soon, but your work is always a pleasure to see buddy, so I hope you get your mojo back soon...

Nice garden of morr  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 11, 2013, 02:19:45 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on November 11, 2013, 12:33:27 pm
Having magnetised the weapons on all my big tau and Eldar robots, I too know the pain of realising you have the poles what wrong way round despite repeated double checks...

I swear I checked a thousand times, it makes no sense!!

Quote from: fatolaf on November 11, 2013, 12:33:27 pm
Having gone through a complete GW rage quit, not sure I will be painting my 40k daemons any more any time soon, but your work is always a pleasure to see buddy, so I hope you get your mojo back soon...

Sorry to hear about your GW quit, hope it lifts soon. My mojo is slowly coming back, after a good few months of "meh" - not just restricted to hobby I'm afraid. Hoping the campaign kicks starts my enthusiasm. I have just assembled a load of cool models this week so I think they my inspire the brushes to come out more regularly!

Quote from: fatolaf on November 11, 2013, 12:33:27 pm
Nice garden of morr  :thumbsup:

Thanks. It was delicious!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Garzini on November 11, 2013, 07:18:13 pm
nice one Matt, this has inspired me to have a go at making a (Dark) Angel Cake.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 11, 2013, 07:43:50 pm
Quote from: Garzini on November 11, 2013, 07:18:13 pm
nice one Matt, this has inspired me to have a go at making a (Dark) Angel Cake.

Delicious! Do save me a slice!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 12, 2013, 12:05:19 pm
Quote from: Garzini on November 11, 2013, 07:18:13 pm
nice one Matt, this has inspired me to have a go at making a (Dark) Angel Cake.

Just be careful with any sharp objects or it might become a (Blood) Angel Cake
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 12, 2013, 01:41:13 pm
How about making my favourite Black Ark Forest Gateaux?!

(I'm really pleased with that one, made myself chuckle!)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on November 12, 2013, 02:28:37 pm
If a Dark Angel Cake is fallen, does it become an Upside-Down cake?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 16, 2013, 02:08:01 pm
Quote from: underscore on November 12, 2013, 02:28:37 pm
If a Dark Angel Cake is fallen, does it become an Upside-Down cake?

Doesn't it depend if it is in a forest and there's anyone around to hear it, or am I thinking of something else?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 18, 2013, 10:47:36 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 111 – The March of Tzeentch Monday 18th November 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

111.1 Campaigning for Ogfort

Getting over all the excitement of the sheer number of '1's in the above sub heading, this edition I am primarily talking about the new campaign I am joining at the marvellous OG Games club – you should see their new Christmas advert it blows the socks off the John Lewis one.

For those of you haven't seen the campaign being organised by Pip – many thanks to you sir, then I have shamelessly plagiarised the opening fluff here to get you in the mood.

King Ogbert is dead.

His people disagree on what killed him. Some say old age, some say a dish of spoiled meat at his birthday banquet. One thing on which the king's five closest advisers all agree is that the five stab-wounds in his back had nothing to do with his death. "He was like that when we got here," said the Grand Vizier.

Now the border princedom of Ogfort awaits the coronation of Ogbert's son, Ogfried the Simple. A feeble-witted boy of six years, Ogfried's reign is anticipated to be long and prosperous - after all, his father's privy council stand ready to assist and advise the young king.

However, from over the Worlds' Edge Mountains a new threat arises. Ogbert's illegitimate daughter, Oggalyn the Dread, has returned from exile to claim her father's throne. She marches at the head of a mercenary army, stitched together from the bloodiest warlords of the Dark Lands. By the laws of Ogfort, the domain belongs to her half-brother - but law has never meant much in the Border Princes.

Now mercenaries of all stripes flock to the region, in anticipation of the war to come. Unknown to many of them, Ogfort castle is built on the site of a ring of elven waystones. Whoever controls it controls the flow of magic in the region - and so the stage is set for war on a scale the inhabitants of Ogfort have never yet seen.

Who will claim the crown of Ogfort? The answer is up to you.


Certainly more gripping than the plot line to tonight's Coronation Street, which I've included below for reference:

Leanne's hopes for normality start to fade. Will Brian let a nervous and hopeful Julie down? Mary becomes a source of amusement for Grace and Faye.

See told you.

You can read more about the background to our campaign, including the other competitors' takes on it here:

http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3653.0

And you can read more about tonight's episode of Coronation Street in a series of trashy magazines that mean you don't need to actually watch the episode.

Anyway after much negotiating and fighting within the ranks I managed to secure a place on Team Ogfried, and using my preferred army choice of Warriors of Chaos. Nothing to do with the bandwagon of throwing hundreds of chariots and Bloodcrushers at the enemy – I have none of either of these model in my army! But simply because I am in a Warriors mood, the Beastmen are licking their wounds from the last campaign where they got chopped up more finely than braver men than me have alleged documents at the News of the World have been. The High Elves are an obvious choice but just aren't really floating my floating-sky-chariotshaped boat at the moment. I am sure they will return shortly!

So I've dusted down the Warriors of Chaos, literally, just ask Tom C! For those of you unfamiliar with my Warriors army it's an entirely Tzeentch affair, as he's my favourite Chaos god by far, tactically it's an appalling decision, but thematically I approve. I love Tzeentch master of change, deceit and magic. In some ways his personality reminds me of my favourite Star Trek aliens the Romulans (If you're playing the geek drinking game – you've probably had liver failure at this point), there's a brilliant line from Star Trek: The Next Generation where Captain Picard says "It's always a game of chess with the Romulans" referring to their strategy, bluffing and counter bluffing. I imagine that the same is true of Tzeentch, though obviously none of this subtlety will be evident in my game playing as instead I will charge in foolhardily and die. But still I can imagine in my head its all part of a greater plan.

Anywho part of the joy of the campaign is the opportunity to come up with some bonkers fluff, which I have finally got round to doing. So without further ado here's Tzeentch's reasoning for throwing his lot in with team Ogfried, though being Tzeentch you can never be sure...

Sorcerer Lord Barlow was pleased with himself; his recent trickery had confused the Old World. His reputation as the Terror of the Erengrad was lost; he had bought the Empire music, magical music of a kind never seen before. And the fools thought he had done it as a gift for their children, little did they know it would cost them. As they matured they would mutate into bears and lose their right eye. But in the meantime Sorcerer Lord Barlow had been hailed a hero, his mutation of well-chauffeured hair had been overlooked, and one of the Empire's foremost guides had shown him the passage through the World's Edge Mountain's to Ogfort. Sorcerer Lord Barlow was unsure why Tzeentch required this information, but he was sure his master would be pleased that he had achieved it, and spread deception throughout the "so-called civilized" realms of man.

However Sorcerer Lord Barlow would not have to ponder the meaning of his master's plans for long, for that night, whilst camped amongst his men he was consumed by a vision. Instantly he recognised who mighty Tzeentch had sent to communicate with him, one of the most powerful Lords of Change, the Lord of Cowell. His familiar avian face, high-wasted feathered trousers and the swirling clouds of smoke, which would choke his unborn children, were unmistakable.

The Lord of Cowell spoke, his razor-sharp tongue coming dangerously close to slicing through Barlow's face. He bought important news, their bitter rival King Bruce Ogbert was finally dead, his unnaturally long life span finally bought to an end. Apparently the King was telling his maid that it was nice to see her, when he waited so long for a reply that he finally shuffled off his mortal coil. The Lord of Cowell was insistent that Sorcerer Lord Barlow take advantage of this good fortune and lead his army to Ogfort. Many other powers were gathering to take the fabled magic artefact of King Bruce's Joke Book, truly the oldest artefact in the entire world it was said to contain the humour of the Old Ones. The Lord of Cowell insisted that Barlow used his forces to support Ogfried. Barlow stood confused, asking the Lord of Cowell why he should support King Bruce Ogbert's own son. But the Lord of Cowell explained, Ogfried was known as Ogfried the Simple, and for good reason. Ogfried was a fool, and the Lord of Cowell needed as many fools in places of power as possible to use his Premium Rate Summoning Line, and give him the power he needed to control the Old World. However he explained to Barlow he must act quickly for King Bruce Ogbert's Daughter, Oggalyn Daley also marched to take the throne accompanied by her pixie-like maid Claudia Winkleelf. Should Oggalyn Daley take the throne the inhabitants of Ogfort would be transfixed by her mesmerising tournaments of dance and they would no longer have need of his Premium Rate Summoning Line. 

Sorcerer Lord Barlow pleaded for the Lord of Cowell to accompany him on his mission, but the fickle Lord of Change refused. He had battles to win in foreign lands, it was up to Barlow alone to complete this mission. And at the moment the vision ended, Barlow knew exactly what he had to do. He yelled his battle cry and jumped aboard his trusty pet Disc of Tzeentch, Robbie. They both flew off towards Ogfort at the head of a mighty army of Tzeentch. Barlow knew he could not afford to fail the Lord of Cowell. His troops would seize Ogfort, or die trying, or perhaps go to Deadlock and get the people of Ogfort to decide their own fate. He couldn't be sure.[/color=teal]


111.2 Sorcerer Lord Barlow's Army List

Well with Sorcerer Lord Barlow's plan clear (ish). He's going to need an army, so here goes. In this campaign we've selected a 3,600 point master army (still not enough points, there's never enough points), from which in each battle I'll select a smaller force. Until one final epic master battle, where I'll need to cram all my models into a case far too small and break half of them. Anyway here we go.

Lords

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3394.jpg)

Sorcerer Lord Barlow

Sorcerer Lord Barlow, known as the Terror of Erengrad, largely due to his solo wizard career. Known to shout "take that" at his enemies as they are engulfed by the flickering flames of Tzeentch. He is sworn to his master Tzeentch, and his chief general The Lord of Cowell. His skin has become thick and gnarly from the abuse he suffered from those recruits he would not allow into his army. But he is resolutely stubborn, refusing to change his mind on which recruits to send home. He rides Robbie his "Disc of Tzeentch" often it was said that Robbie carried Sorcerer Lord Barlow into battle, but wise scholars have said that now it is the other way round and it's Barlow who carries Robbie.

Chaos Sorcerer Lord (Lore of Tzeentch) Level 4 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch, riding Disc of Tzeentch. He has the Talisman of Preservation, Crown of Command and Scaled Skin, and wears Chaos Armour. (405 points) Yes I realised it was really stupid to give the Crown of Command to an independent character and not use its effects on a unit, but where were you telling me this when I was writing the army? Hmmmm Hmmmm Hmmm.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3397.jpg)

Daemon Prince Scherzinger

The shrieking form of the Daemon Prince of Scherzinger, is the most powerful of the evil cabal of !@%$#%@ Cat Daemon Princes that Tzeentch launched upon the world. Assailants are often fooled by the charm of her shield, before she drains their soul into her own body. She is said to possess a third eye which sheds tears when she's pretending to care for those in her charge.

Daemon Prince (Lore of Tzeentch) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch and Daemonic Flight. He has Daemon Blade, Soul Feeder, Chaos Armour, Third Eye of Tzeentch and Charmed Shield. (455 points)

Heroes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3405.jpg)

Louis the Sorcerous Imp

Louis the Sorcerous Imp, is part Sorcerer part familiar. He scampers around the army, mainly speaking gibberish interspersed with his infamous incantation "Westlife" which is known to distract enemy wizards mid-spell cast. No one really understands why the Lord of Cowell allows him to serve the almighty Tzeentch. Many suspect, though none would say publically, that the Lord of Cowell keeps him around in order that Louis's mistakes make the Lord look good in comparison.

Chaos Sorcerer (Lore of Metal) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch. He has a Dispel Scroll and wears Chaos Armour. (185 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3402.jpg)

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer or Dermot O'BSB to his friends, carries Barlow's army standard into battle. He uses his authority to try to bring order to the meetings between Barlow and his subordinates. He is known to amuse Barlow with his amateur attempts at dancing, and can often be heard uttering his warning "Do not use the Summoning Line until it has opened or you may still be charged".

Exalted Hero bearing the Battle Standard, with Mark of Tzeentch and wearing Chaos Armour. He has a Great Weapon, Helm of Many Eyes and the Dawnstone. (201 points)

Core

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3421.jpg)

Marauder Auditionees

Every year thousands flock to Barlow's banner in the hope of joining his army. This veritable hoard of screaming wannabes literally follow the Sorcerer Lord everywhere he goes. They live in the hope that they will get just a moment of Barlow's attention, in order to prove their worth. Completely unaware that should they get selected to be in Barlow's army they will almost certainly meet a more horrible fate than mere failure.

40 Chaos Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields. (390 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3416.jpg)

Bootcamp Warriors

Those Marauder Auditionees that manage to win the affections of Sorcerer Lord Barlow, are immediately rewarded and given a glistening suit of Chaos Armour that blinds them to the reality of their situation. They are enrolled in Barlow's very own boot camp where they are tested further, in the hope to join Barlow's most elite Warriors. Many of them will not succeed, but as a patron of the cruel Tzeentch, Barlow enjoys telling them of their failure in comically soul destroying reasons.

15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields, and wear Chaos Armour. (285 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3426.jpg)

The Dogs of Tulisa

The Dogs of Tulisa were once favoured and allowed to sit at the table of Barlow. However the hideous smell, said to be of volcanic ash, and the dirty and bestial acts the dogs of Tulisa were seen to get up to, disgusted Barlow. He had them removed from his table, but the Dogs of Tulisa follow the army around howling in pain, in the hope that one day they may re-join Barlow again.

5 Chaos Warhounds. (30 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3435.jpg)

John's Marauder Horsemen

Every year there are those who flock to Sorcerer Lord Barlow's banner who are eccentric, untalented outsiders. One would expect them to be ostracised from the camp, but Louis the Sorcerous Imp takes pity upon them, and gives them a place within the army. Known for their outlandish hairstyles and exhausting stupidity John's Marauder Horsemen are always asked to ride at the head of the army in the vein hope they may killed by the enemy.

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with spears and ride warhorses. (115 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3431.jpg)

Edward's Marauder Horsemen

Edward's Marauder Horsemen are the twins of John's Marauder Horsemen. Equally foolish and with identical mental hair, it is said even Louis the Sorcerous Imp cannot tell them apart.

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with flails and ride warhorses. (120 points)

Special

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3441.jpg)

The Knights of One Direction

The Knights of One Direction are known as such, because it is said that they only ever advance upon their enemies, never falling back, never retreating. They are known around the world, and all look upon them scream. Sorcerer Lord Barlow demanded they wear helmets so their foppish and every so trendy hairstyles didn't overshadow his own. They bear a mighty magic banner with them, which is said to deflect the vast amount of women's underwear, which for unknown reasons, is thrown at them wherever they appear.

5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with Ensorcelled Weapons, wear Chaos Armour and ride barded Chaos Steeds. They bear the Blasted Standard. (280 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3444.jpg)

Audience Trolls

The Audience Trolls are the most stupid beasts in all the land. Sorcerer Lord Barlow has managed to bind them to his will by showing them a simple contest every week. The stupid Audience Trolls stare obediently at the contest unaware that every week they are shown the same contest and that most of it is staged.

4 Chaos Trolls with extra hand weapons. (152 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3450.jpg)

Chosen of the Judge's Houses

Amongst the Bootcamp Warriors only the strongest fighters, or those with an emotionally troubled upbringing, are elevated to the hallowed status of the Chosen of the Judge's Houses. They and they alone have been allowed into Sorcerer Lord Barlow's personal domain. There it is said that the Chosen weep all over Barlow's furniture as he selects his favoured few to follow him to the hallowed land, known only by its strange and unfamiliar name of "The Live Shows".

10 Chosen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with halberds and wear Chaos Armour. (260 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3478.jpg)

The Unnecessarily Over-staged Chaos Warshrine

Atop the Unnecessarily Over-staged Chaos Warshrine, stands the Slaughtermaster, a servant personally chosen by Sorcerer Lord Barlow to kill any enemy that his army captures and dedicate his soul to Tzeentch. Barlow has often wondered why the slaughter needs to be done on such an over the top shrine surrounded by flames and pyrotechnic devices when it could just as easily be done on foot at the back of the army.

Chaos Warshrine with Mark of Tzeentch. (135 points)

Rare

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3456.jpg)

Shaggoth Osbourne

Shaggoth Osbourne is said to be a fearsome beast of almost immeasurable age. Though due to a pact with the dark gods her skin shows no wrinkles. She is as rage-ridden as she is mad, and her locks of fiery red hair match her temper. She has a fond spot for Louis the Sorcerous Imp though has been to known to throw him in the river when she tires of him. It is said that as mad as Shaggoth Osbourne is, she is only half as violent as her mate. And that should Shaggoth Osbourne be exposed to the blinding lightning of the fabled Minogue she will descend into an uncontrollable frenzy and kill all before her.

Dragon Ogre Shaggoth with Great Weapon. (227 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3460.jpg)

Spawn Brookstein

Brookstein was once one of Sorcerer Lord Barlow's most trusted lieutenants, claiming the title of Champion of Tzeentch against all other rivals. However despite his aptitude the Lord of Cowell despised him and cursed him into being a spawn. He now lumbers around alongside Barlow's army and occasionally appearing in panto. It is said if you look into his eyes you can see his sorrow at ever having dealings with the Lord of Cowell.

Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch. (70 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3464.jpg)

Spawn Cardle

The Lord of Cowell's fickle disposition means that many of his lieutenants have met his wrath, cursed to have the prizes, once heaped upon them, taken away. Spawn Cardle was another such an example of the Lord of Cowell's reputation, despite being reasonably successful the Lord of Cowell randomly chose to have him banished. A warning to others that he can turn at any moment.

Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch. (70 points)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3472.jpg)

Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant

Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant was invited into the army by none other than Louis the Sorcerous Imp for reasons unknown. None know why he continues to accompany the army or what talent he brings, but he seems to amuse the Audience Trolls, so he is allowed to stay despite murdering whatever he touches.

Chaos Giant with Mark of Tzeentch. (215 points)

111.3 Preparing for Battle

So there we go there's my Warriors of Tzeentch army ready to do battle, and probably die. But what can you do. The astute amongst you (actually probably not even just the astute), will have noticed my Chaos Warshrine currently looks decidedly box-shaped and unbuilt (after of course noticing I have the mind of a deranged man). Yes, I have noticed this too. I am hoping to use this campaign as incentive to get it painted up. Whilst I have quite a few Warriors to paint up, I felt it would be best to choose something that wasn't likely to be completely integral to my battle plan – just in case I didn't manage to paint it up that quickly. It probably wouldn't be a brilliant idea if I had built my army around a large number of unpainted core models for example!!

Hopefully in my next edition of this exciting blog I can show you my progress on the Warshrine,... hopefully.

Tonight, this very night, sees my first battle as the Warriors take on Ed's Empire forces. So think of me whilst you are watching Coronation Street. And I'll let you know how I get on next time.

111.4 Get in Touch

Remember as always I'd love to hear your thoughts so do get in touch. And as always you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've mainly been moaning about losing bits from my Warshrine kit. It literally is gripping stuff.

Until Edition 112...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 18, 2013, 12:32:41 pm
Great work Matt -gave me a good reason for a chuckle (other than looking like some kind of loon)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 18, 2013, 12:40:41 pm
Quote from: roland murat on November 18, 2013, 12:32:41 pm
Great work Matt -gave me a good reason for a chuckle (other than looking like some kind of loon)

Glad you liked it and hope you weren't judged a loon by those surrounding you! Hehe

If you are wondering what the bleeped work in the entry for Daemon Prince Scherzinger, it was the P-word for cat, as in the former pop band The "P-word for cat" Cat Dolls!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on November 18, 2013, 12:41:27 pm
Just for the record: Lord Ti'Kal has always thought the Lord of Cowell to be a talentless hack. If he's forced to sit in front of the Box of Change for a warp-evening then he's much happier with the Lord Hollywood and Dutchess Berry.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 18, 2013, 04:19:32 pm
Quote from: underscore on November 18, 2013, 12:41:27 pm
Just for the record: Lord Ti'Kal has always thought the Lord of Cowell to be a talentless hack. If he's forced to sit in front of the Box of Change for a warp-evening then he's much happier with the Lord Hollywood and Dutchess Berry.

Lord Hollywood and Dutchess Berry, her of the soggy bottom, are another bitter rival of the Lord of Cowell. He may send the Blue Scribes of Ant and Dec to deal with them once they have finished their current southern campaign.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Pip on November 18, 2013, 05:20:13 pm
Loving it  :thumbsup:

Naturally Lord Xlapec will be auditioning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFLZ-MzIhM#t=1m01s).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 18, 2013, 11:35:05 pm
Quote from: Pip on November 18, 2013, 05:20:13 pm
Loving it  :thumbsup:

Naturally Lord Xlapec will be auditioning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFLZ-MzIhM#t=1m01s).

It's a "yes" from Louis the Sorcerous Imp. Though I am not sure he is the best arbiter of quality!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 25, 2013, 09:08:12 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 112 – Warriors of Construction Monday 25th November 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

112.1 Ogfort Battle 1

So way back in Update 111, last week, I introduced you to Sorcerer Lord Barlow and his army of Tzeentchian warriors as they attempted to stomp all the way across Ogfort in a bid to do the Lord of Cowell's bidding, siding with Ogfried's forces. If that doesn't make sense you may need to catch up before reading further ahead.

Well back on Monday was my first battle as I faced off against Edd's Empire forces. The battle we ended up playing was entitled Stop the Scouts, and I was given the following fluff by Pip:

Hoping to steal a march on her half-brother's defenders, Oggalyn the Dread crosses the World's Edge Mountains through the perilous route of Death Pass. Not expecting to meet Oggalyn's forces already so close to their homeland, Ogfried's sentries have become encircled by her vanguard while they were sleeping. They must break out to bring word to the defenders before Oggalyn can attack!

For this battle both myself and Edd would each get to take 1,000 points. The only victory condition was that I had to get 333 points of my army in Edd's deployment zone by the end of Turn 6 in order to breakthrough his defences.

Army selection wise, even someone of my limited tactical intellect concluded it was probably best to have a fast moving cavalry based army, rather than loads of slow marching infantry. Thank god I hadn't picked Dwarfs as my army! When I selected my initial 3,600 point master list (see Update 111), I figured I'd been very clever by selecting a range of point sizes of units in order to build any-sized army that I would be presented with. I was however wrong, as I found out when trying to select an appropriate-sized army. Firstly having made some heavily kitted out lords, and devoting one of my two heroes to being a Battle Standard Bearer, I had only one choice to be my general. And that was Louis the Sorcerous Imp, things were looking bad.

I opted to take as many fast moving mounted troops as possible, taking both John and Edward's Marauder Horseman and the Dogs of Tulisa to fill up my Core requirement. Next up I took The Knights of One Direction figuring their Blasted Standard would protect them from the worst of the Empire's artillery I was sure to be facing. I rounded my army out with the Audience Trolls, thinking I needed somewhere for Louis to be concealed, and they hopefully would be resilient to shooting attacks. I'd hoped to have enough points for some monsters, but sadly I couldn't make the numbers work. I couldn't even squeeze in both Chaos Spawn, due to me taking the expensive Mark of Tzeentch upgrade so I settled for Spawn Cardle (for the simple reason he was closer to the front of the display cabinet than Spawn Brokstein). With my whole army clocking in at 952 points, I was simply unable to use the other 48 points.

As my ramblings are quite difficult to follow here's a pictorial version of said army list which I am sure is significantly easier to follow:

Louis the Sorcerous Imp

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3405.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer (Lore of Metal) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch. He has a Dispel Scroll and wears Chaos Armour. (185 points)

The Dogs of Tulisa

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3426.jpg)

5 Chaos Warhounds. (30 points)

John's Marauder Horsemen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3435.jpg)

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with spears and ride warhorses. (115 points)

Edward's Marauder Horsemen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3431.jpg)

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with flails and ride warhorses. (120 points)

The Knights of One Direction

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3441.jpg)

5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with Ensorcelled Weapons, wear Chaos Armour and ride barded Chaos Steeds. They bear the Blasted Standard. (280 points)

Audience Trolls

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3444.jpg)

4 Chaos Trolls with extra hand weapons. (152 points)

Spawn Cardle

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3464.jpg)

Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch. (70 points)

Louis the Sorcerous Imp cursed his luck, somehow he'd become separated from Sorcerer Lord Barlow. Some had suggested that this was a deliberate ploy from the Sorcerer Lord, but that couldn't be right? Could it? He dismissed that thought from his mind, he had more important things to think about. Tzeentchian Giant Wagner had to perform at the camp show later, and Louis still hadn't worked out the staging. Not that it mattered, Wagner would probably eat the stage whatever it was.

Louis led the small collection of troops he'd been stranded with through the rough terrain. Their route was known as Sudden Death Pass for the way that boulders could easily come crashing down on you without even an audience vote or a boulder-off between you and a rival traveller. These were troubling times indeed. Mind you the Audience Trolls seemed happy enough, they were just busy rambling about how amazing Barlow was. John and Edward's Marauder Horsemen forged a path ahead examining rocks like they'd never seen them before in their lives. In fact were it not for the noise of The Knights of One Direction's fans screaming their heads off, the advance could almost be described as ordered.

Louis called camp, The Dogs of Tulisa were getting horny and humping anything that moved, before getting John & Edward's Marauder Horseman to draw pictures of it and place them on Ye Olde Tube. The army set up for a night's rest, Louis was confident that they would re-join the main force tomorrow, and was so used to waiting for the next day for the results that it had become habit.

As the crisp morning air whipped across Louis's face he came to, his night time dream of being treated with some respect by anyone cruelly cut short. Instantly his attention was drawn to John and Edward the Marauder Champions. They were bouncing up and down pointing at the valley ahead. He followed their gaze to see an army from the human realm of The Empire ahead, flying the unmistakable flag of the forces of Oggalyn Daley. Louis needed to raise the alarm, they'd been outmanoeuvred and he needed to inform Sorcerer Lord Barlow. Yes Louis would need to break free from the Empire's trap, "break free" Louis thought. What an excellent name for a song that his minstrels that live to the west could sing. He pondered on the lyrics as the battle lines were joined.


Deployment

The Chaos army split into two flanks, with John's Marauder Horsemen, The Knights of One Direction and Spawn Cardle taking up the left flank around the Temple of Skulls facing off against a large unit of Knights with Warrior Priest and Hero accompanying.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3496.jpg)

On the right hand flank Louis the Sorcerous Imp joined the Audience Trolls, accompanied by The Dogs of Tulisa and Edward's Marauder Horsemen. They were facing a Luminark of Hysh, two units of 10 Handgunners and a Hellblaster Volley Gun. Louis rolled for his spells from the Lore of Metal gaining Searing Doom and Glittering Robe.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3497.jpg)

The Warriors of Chaos won the roll to see who went first, but not before both units of Marauder Horsemen used their vanguard move to get closer to the destination of the Empire deployment zone.

Turn 1

Louis led his army towards the Empire deployment zone, with Spawn Cardle ambling 7" towards the Hellblaster Volley Gun, even the Audience Trolls passed their stupidity test. Louis was mainly thwarted by the Light Wizard, as Searing Doom was dispelled though he did manage to cast Glittering Robe on The Dogs of Tulisa who looked particularly vulnerable to the ranks of Empire artillery.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3498.jpg)

The Empire respond with the Knights reforming to face The Knights of One Direction, while the Luminark of Hysh repositions to the hill to get a better shot. The Warrior Priest buffs the Knights giving them a 5+ Ward Save. Louis the Sorcerous Imp is unable to stop the Luminark firing down the flank of Edward's Marauder Horsemen. However Tzeentch is clearly smiling on the battlefield as the first Horseman makes his 6+ Ward Save protecting the unit from any damage at all. In the shooting phase both units of Handgunners open fire on Spawn Cardle and The Dogs of Tulisa, but cannot score a hit between them.

Turn 2

The Chaos second turn is dominated by the Audience Trolls failing their stupidity test, meaning the Trolls stumbled forward 3" and Louis the Sorcerous Imp was unable to even try and use his magic. Spawn Cardle makes up for it by rampaging forward a full 11" towards the Hellblaster Volley Gun. John and Edward's Marauder Horsemen head straight into the Empire deployment zone surrounding the Handgunners.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3499.jpg)

Battle is joined when the Empire Knights thunderously charge into The Knights of One Direction.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3500.jpg)

The Luminark of Hysh again targets the flank of Edward's Marauder Horseman, but they are clearly blessed by Tzeentch as yet again the first model hit makes his 6+ Ward Save stopping the beam from doing any damage.

The Empire shooting phase is more destructive with three Dogs of Tulisa being shot dead by the Handgunners, though they pass their panic test. The second unit is less impressive scoring two hits on Spawn Cardle, none of which wound the rampaging beast.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3501.jpg)

The Engineer and Handgunners turn their attention on Edward's Marauder Horsemen, hoping to do what the Luminark could not. They open fire with 14 shots and doing 7 wounds, Tzeentch manages to block two of them with the ward save, but it isn't enough as the unit is wiped out to a man.

In combat Harry Styles, the Champion of The Knights of One Direction, challenges the Empire Hero, who instantly steals his strength with Van Horstmann's Speculum, resulting in Harry being struck down. The rest of the Chaos Knights kill two Empire Knights but also suffer two wounds themselves. The Knights of One Direction, discover a new direction, as they break and flee only to be run down by the valiant Empire Knights.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3502.jpg)

Turn 3

Angered by their brother's demise, or perhaps confused, John's Marauder Horsemen charge the flank of the Empire Handgunners who chose to flee rather than face the wild blond hair. However their flight panics the Engineer who flees the table and the Hellblaster Volley Gun crew who hide beneath their machine unable to shoot.

The excitement of these events clearly distracted Louis the Sorcerous Imp, as he miscast Searing Doom on the Luminark of Hysh. Whilst the Arcane device took two wounds, a massive explosion engulfed Louis and he is cast into the realm of Chaos. The Audience Trolls stared vacantly at the explosion, one lost an arm, but it grew back almost immediately.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3503.jpg)

The Luminark of Hysh charges the remaining Dogs of Tulisa who decide discretion is the better part of valour. But Tulisa is too busy explaining to Dappy the Warhound what discretion means and they only flee 3" being crushed by the mighty Luminark.

The Audience Trolls manage to dispel the effects of the Luminark's weaponry. While the fleeing Handgunners fail to rally and the second unit are unable to wound the tough bodies of the Audience Trolls.

Turn 4

In a shocking display the Audience Trolls pass their stupidity test on their own leadership of 4, and declare a charge on the Luminark. However they fail to make the charge distance and head forward 3", much like as if they'd failed their stupidity test! In hindsight I should have just marched the Trolls straight at the deployment zone – I lost sight of the battle objective, though in fairness the distance really wasn't that far!

John's Marauder Horsemen charge the Hellblaster Volley Gun and butcher the crew avenging their fallen brothers, while Spawn Cardle closes in on the Empire Deployment zone.

The Empire try their best to respond but the reformed Knights are too far away to get back into the action, and the Handgunners fall to rally yet again. Another poor missile attack sees the Audience Trolls emerge unscathed despite being hit by both the Luminark's weapon and the remaining Handgunners.

Turn 5

The Trolls return to form stumbling forward stupidly, but they are now tantalising close to the Empire deployment zone. Spawn Cardle ploughs into the flank of the remaining Handgunner unit, and after blasting them with his flame weapon a single Handgunner flees the carnage escaping the pursuing Spawn.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3504.jpg)

The original fleeing unit of Handgunners finally rally just on the edge of the board (just next to the dead pile of Hellblaster Volley Gun).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3505.jpg)

The Luminark of Hysh's weapon finally does some damage inflicting two wounds on the Audience Trolls, which they are unable to regenerate as it burns their skin.

Turn 6

The Audience Trolls fail their stupidity test but manage to stumble forward 6", putting them smack bang in the Empire deployment zone. The only other action of the Chaos forces is to move Spawn Cardle and John's Marauder Horsemen back fractionally to put the newly reformed Handgunner unit at long range. Be impressed as I demonstrate some tactical acumen!

At the end of my final turn I somehow managed to get 337 points of my army in the deployment zone, and needing 333 points to win, I was staring at victory. But Edd still had one more turn to go.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3506.jpg)

The Luminark of Hysh charges the rear of the Audience Trolls inflicted 4 wounds from impact hits, though the Trolls regenerate 2 of these. The crew add a further wound but that is also regenerated. The Trolls however can only manage one wound in return, charged in the rear they lose the combat badly, break and are rundown.

Conclusion

Victory nabbed away at the last moment, curses! In fairness I was very lucky to survive the Empire's shooting, the Luminark of Hysh presumably being a dud. Thankfully Tzeentch was smiling today and saved me a lot of potential damage. The Knights of One Direction did pretty poorly, which was really my fault for letting them get charged, though in fairness it did put the large unit of Empire Knights out the way for the rest of the game which was perhaps worth the sacrifice. In hindsight I shouldn't have risked the miscast with Louis, but I was desperate to do some damage to the Luminark. As it was I was lucky the Audience Trolls made it as far as they did! Oh well I guess victory was too much to hope for. Onto Round 2!

Louis the Sorcerous Imp starred in amazement, his disembodied spirit drifting through the unbelievable sight of the Realm of Chaos. Everywhere he looked were swirling multi-coloured clouds of magical forces, unimaginable vast constructs of materials beyond the comprehension of mortal man, and billboards advertising the amazing festive treats at the John Lewis emporium in Nuln. Suddenly he felt a mighty presence The Lord of Cowell was present. "You have failed me" he boomed. In an impish voice Louis replied "Yes but I have come up with some lyrics for a new song". The Lord of Cowell lashed out with his avian claw, slapping the Sorcerer around the face.

Sorcerer Lord Barlow continued the forced march through Sudden Death Valley, it had taken many hard days of relentless movement, but they'd finally lost Louis the Sorcerous Imp and his idiotic Marauder Horseman. He was just about to breathe a sigh of relief and let Robbie rest, when a bright a blast of light erupted across the sky ahead. The unmistakeable flash of a portal to the Realm of Chaos. Just as Barlow took in what was going on, the scrawny body of Louis the Sorcerous Imp was hurled out of the portal by a feathered claw. Louis thudded into the ground a few feet away from the Sorcerer, his body a mangled heap. Looking up the impish form gasped "I am alive, but the enemy are here". Sorcerer Lord Barlow looked on in despair, unsure which piece of news disgusted him the most.


112.2 Assembling the Warriors of Chaos

Driven by the excitement of the above campaign, and the fact that I'm in a real Warriors of Chaos mood – my High Elves turn to be left getting dusty. I've assembled a whole batch of Warriors of Chaos as reinforcements for my army. Which with a miracle I might actually paint! Exciting.

Chaos Lord on Manticore

Back in Update 110, I magnetised my Manticore kit (after two years of ignoring it), now in a shocking display of enthusiasm I've finished its assembly and modelled a scenic base.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3479.jpg)

I've tried to model a small stream, which my Manticore will be bouncing through. And hopefully with my semi-snow bases will really capture the feel of the frozen tundra. I roughly marked out the path of the stream with rocks, with a few gaps where just sand is showing through. I then added a thin layer of green stuff to the base of the stream, which I roughed up, to make the uneven bed of the stream. The idea being once it is finished I can build up a trickling stream with water effects. An idea I will almost certainly regret the minute I open up the water effects tub.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3480.jpg)

Vilitch, the Curseling

I love painting a special character model, whenever I am painting normal characters I am trying to paint a generic hero who could represent any champion or wizard in whatever army list or scenario I put together. So when I get the opportunity to paint a special character, it's great to be able to paint the specific detail and description listed in the background. Unfortunately, unlike my Beastmen and High Elf armies, my all-Tzeentch army has been rather bereft of special characters. Well there's not been too much to choose for a long time, what with Galrauch being a kind of meh model, and such an expensive character that he'd probably never get used anyway. Up until now all I've managed to paint up was the old model for Aekold Helbrass, which I haven't used anywhere near enough.

So for me I got quite excited when earlier this year, the Vilitch the Curseling model came out. And while it's hardly new now, by my time scale of painting it is new. So I'm excited to be painting him. I'm not a hundred percent sure he's sculpt is benefited that much by Finecast, but at least his staff won't fall off as it were if it were metallic.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3481.jpg)

I haven't really done anything to this model, there's so much going on with it already what with Vilitch whispering in his brother's ear. However to add a bit more story to him, I've mounted him on a resin base from the Warhammer Basing Kit, which features a Chaos shield. I'm going to paint it up as Khorne shield, representing some other Chaos Lord he's betrayed in his plotting. Inspired by the story of Archaon in the current Warriors of Chaos army book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3482.jpg)

Chaos Warriors

Obviously if I'm building the ultimate build Warriors of Chaos army I shouldn't be including Chaos Warriors. But I hate that logic, Chaos Warriors are what make Warriors of Chaos. And for me that's what appealed to me about the Chaos army back in fourth edition when I succumbed to collecting a massive Chaos army. It wasn't the Beastmen or the Daemons that sold me to Chaos, it was the Chaos Warriors and the Chaos Knights that I loved.

And despite painting billions of Beastmen in recent years, I've only painted up one paltry unit of 15 Chaos Warriors with hand weapons and shields. I feel it's time to change that, so I've built this new unit of 24 Chaos Warriors, with halberds. I really like the current Chaos Warrior kit, I know it's quite a basic kit (and I don't like the fact most of the weapon options are sold separately) but they look like the implacable marching ironclad Warriors I always imagined!

Anyway enough waffle, here's the unit:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3483.jpg)

The unit is equipped with the resin Halberd upgrade kit, which was a little expensive, but to be honest whilst I don't mind converting characters and monsters the idea of making up 24 halberds seemed too frustrating to contemplate. I did consider using the Chaos Knight lances but to be honest they were so hard to find on eBay, it worked out cheaper to buy the Halberds. And due to mix up with my original order, which Games Workshop quickly fixed, I got my third pack free anyway.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3484.jpg)

Whilst I wasn't prepared to convert each of the individual Warriors, I did make an effort to make the command group stand out. The Standard Bearer has a Chaos Knight spare head, as they're a bit fancier. Plus one of the resin Tzeentch banners, I think distinctive banners are so important as they stand out so much when the unit's on the table, that they are worth the pennies. I had to do a little bit of splicing to put the halberd in the left hand as well!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3485.jpg)

Rather than have the musician unarmed, with horn in one hand and shield in the other, I did some converting. Armed with horn doesn't look scary, so I cut the hand of the horn, and using a green stuff 'strap' strapped it onto the Warrior. The shield and head are both from the Chaos Knight kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3487.jpg)

The Champion, again, had a Chaos Knight head and shield, and I combined the original Champion's arm with one of the halberd arms to give him the dynamic pose. I also had to green stuff a bit of extra fur around his neck, as the Chaos Warriors were second hand and I had previously cut another head of the model which I couldn't quite snip off.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3486.jpg)

Chaos Lord on Daemonic Steed

If this wasn't enough I finally got around to putting together one of my all-time favourite Warriors of Chaos models, the Chaos Lord on Daemonic Steed. I don't care if I never use this model on the battlefield, it's absolutely brilliant.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3488.jpg)

I didn't want to do anything to this model to take away from it, as I think it's so amazing. Though I did add a little Chaos Icon buried in the mud to the base, from the Warhammer Basing kit, which you can see in this lovely arse-cam shot of the Daemonic Steed:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3489.jpg)

Warshrine of Chaos

Ok finally, the most important Warriors model that I need to get painted is the Warshrine of Chaos. Primarily as it features in my army list for the above campaign. The Warshrine is an imposing model but I wanted to make a few tweaks to it. First up this is of course a Tzeentch army so the Warshrine is no different, so I added the Tzeentch symbol supplied to the top of the main statue:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3490.jpg)

Unfortunately the kit contains the heathen symbols of the other three lesser Chaos gods on the flaming lanterns on the rear:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3491.jpg)

In a foolhardy manoeuvre I covered them up with green stuff:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3492.jpg)

And then glued on the metal Tzeentch symbols I picked up ages ago, given the extra weight I pinned the lanterns onto the back of the Warshrine. I don't think it looks too bad (in this dodgy photo) and hopefully once painted will look even less like a conversion. Fingers crossed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3493.jpg)

And carried away with magnets as I am, I even mounted a magnet in the Slaughtermaster's foot, so I could potentially swap him for a character if the mood takes me. I haven't got a character in mind but it's forward planning in case.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3494.jpg)

Rather than gouging out the deck of the Warshrine I've simply glued a magnet under the base of the platform, concealed by the sides to mount the Slaughtermaster on.

I've got a few more ideas to Tzeentch-up the Warshrine which I will show you as it nears completion. Currently it's a number of subassemblies which I've sprayed black. Fingers crossed I'll have a bit more to show you soon.

Others

Ok, I lied when I said finally earlier. Technically these aren't Warriors, but as I was having a building session a few other models jumped in.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3495.jpg)

To prove I haven't completely forgotten about the Ultramarines, there's a sixth Terminator to add to my unit. I think this must have been a White Dwarf freebie from when Assault on Black Reach was released. I found out in a bits box under the bed while looking for something else. Plus even if I'm not in a High Elf mood there's no way I couldn't build the gorgeous Loremaster of Hoeth. I may even one day paint it.

112.3 Get in Touch

Well done for getting through that long old journey. Hope you like the building work I've been doing, do shout with any thoughts/comments/suggestions. And as always you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've mainly been saying random rubbish.

Oh and before I go, can I give a quick shout out for this amazing Lord of Change conversion I found on the flickr window on the Games Workshop website, which I think is absolutely amazing even in my dodgy iPhone snap of the screen.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3507.jpg)

Fingers crossed Update 113 follows speedily!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 25, 2013, 12:16:44 pm
What did the tactical plant pot makeof your game Matt?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 25, 2013, 09:26:56 pm
Quote from: roland murat on November 25, 2013, 12:16:44 pm
What did the tactical plant pot makeof your game Matt?

Sandra's main comment was "Where are the Skullcrushers you fool?", followed by "water please"
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 29, 2013, 12:25:32 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Special Announcement Friday 29th November 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Launches on Sunday...

On Sunday the Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Character Advent Calendar will be returning with 24 new forgotten characters never before featured in the calendar. The length and breadth of the Warhammer world will be covered and you're sure to get a nostalgic glow.

So make sure you return to the Procrastination by Numbers thread every day from the 1st to the 24th of December. To whet your appetite and get you practised in opening those Advent Calendar spoiler buttons. Here's a classic character that we featured in 2012's calendar.

Remember to join us on Sunday!

[spoiler]
Special Preview: Dieter Helsnicht

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV025.jpg)

Name: Dieter Helsnicht, Doom Lord of Middenheim

Original Points Cost: 725 points – 4th Edition, 690 points – 5th Edition

Background: Dieter Helsnicht was a much fear wizard, eventually forced to flee the City of Middenheim when it was found out he was a member of UKIP, and was also Necromancer. He plotted his revenge in the Forest of Shadows – the notoriously bad sunbathing spot, before descending on the city. He was eventually defeated at the Battle of Beeckerhoven though his body was never discovered DUR DUR DURRRRHHHH!!!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Undead – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 172 (April 1994)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV031.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV028.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV037.jpg)

Special Rules: In 4th Edition Dieter didn't have any special rules, just the magic items The Chaos Runesword +1 Weapon Skill, Strength and Attacks and The Staff of Flaming Death casts a spell 24" striking first target in path inflicting D3 S4 hits, any unit wounded must take a panic test.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV035.jpg)

In 5th Edition Dieter gained the rule that he could choose freely between Necromantic and Dark magic spells, and his Manticore didn't have to take an enraged test. He also gained a Power Scroll casts a spell at no power cost once per game.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV039.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Dieter Helsnicht was going to lead the vast Undead army I was planning on buying when I was at secondary schools spending double French dreaming of Warhammer. As opposed to now when I spend days at work dreaming of Warhammer.

Person most Reminds me of: Thrown out of the home city for abhorrent acts – any of the cast of The Only Way Is Essex – TOWIE for the cool kids.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The main problem with copying over Dieter is the fact that technically Vampire Counts characters aren't allowed to ride Manticores. However if you overlook this then the rest is simple obviously he show now pick spells from Lore of Death or Lore of Vampires, his Manticore rule copies across and the Staff of Flaming Death has clearly been shortened as the Rod of Flaming Death is now available in Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 8th Edition. As for The Chaos Runesword he shouldn't even have it, it's got Chaos in the name! Give it back Dieter. I reckon a cool and relatively simple model could be made using the plastic Chaos Lord on Manticore kit with rider of your choice. Initially I thought the one on the Zombie Dragon, but he may a bit too Blood Knighty for Deiter. As long as you paint the Manticore in more necrotic tones you should do fine!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV105.jpg)

[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 01, 2013, 09:41:35 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 1st December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Yes fans be excited, because today sees the arrival of the 4th official OG Games Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Just as in previous years we celebrate those Special Characters that the Warhammer world has never shone love on. And this year I have 24 brand new Forgotten characters.

For those of new to this tradition, every day for the next 24 I'll upload a post to this thread containing a Spoiler which when opened reveals a new Forgotten Warhammer Special Character. To count the model must have, had at some point, its own special rules (not just a named character) and currently be missing either a model, current army book entry or both. So expect a range of really old characters, current characters without model and odder ones from the depths of the White Dwarf and beyond.

As a new feature this year, I'm going to give a little clue before the spoiler, see if you can guess the occupant of Door Number 1 correctly. Today's classic character hasn't seen the light of day since the 4th Edition of Warhammer, but they might be due a re-release soon if it is written in the runes. Any thoughts?

[spoiler]
1st December: Rune Lord Kragg the Grim

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV523.jpg)

Name: Rune Lord Kragg the Grim

Original Points Cost: 669 points – 4th Edition

Background: Rune Lord Kragg the Grim, is the rune lord of Karaz-a-Karak. He is the oldest and wisest Dwarf Runesmith. And unlike in the real world, Dwarfs actually listen to their old people. He and he alone know the Master Rune of Kragg the Grim, which stops him tripping over his massive beard. Maybe he'll get round to telling someone someday, maybe Games Workshop will get round to writing a new Dwarf book someday.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 166 (October 1993)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV527.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV517.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 315 (March 2006)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV532.jpg)

Special Rules: Back in the 4th edition Kragg the Grim was armed with a veritable bucket load of runic magic items that did the following: Kragg's Hammer (Strength 10, Multiple Wounds (D6), +1 Attack); Kragg's Armour (+2 Armour Save, any spell targeted at bearer is automatically dispelled – exhausted on a D6 roll of 1, re-roll failed Armour Save on 4+); Runestaff (immune to fire, one use only dispel any spell, move through difficult terrain).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV528.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I was a massive 4th Edition Dwarf character and this model stands out for being the only character of the era I didn't purchase. Which makes me very sad. I think my 11 year old mind couldn't understand why you would want a Runesmith without an Anvil of Doom to blast people with lightning bolts. It makes no sense!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The update in White Dwarf 315 gave you a way of recreating Kragg from the current runes, at slightly more modest 290 points. Given how old the current Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs book is, these are still valid.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV536.jpg)

Sadly the model was discontinued this year, as Games Workshop as dropped a number of the old classic hero models from their websites. Though any current edition Runesmith would fill the role.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV541.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Hope you enjoyed today's special character, there's another 23 to come! Please feel free to tweet about us on Twitter (you will get extra love if you do). And I'd love to hear your comments and memories about each character, so please do reply to this post and share with the group!

P.S. I'll be in a different time zone from tomorrow so apologies if posting times are erratic, we will do our very best!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 02, 2013, 06:46:27 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 2nd December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Welcome back to Day 2 of the fourth annual OG Games Forgotten Special Character's Advent Calendar. Where each day hidden in my spoiler advent door is a special character from the Warhammer world missing either rules or model or both in the game's current incarnation. More details back on Day 1. But here's your clue for Day 2's character.

Any guesses for today's special character, you're more likely to remember the model than the character. It's a classic army and a classic type of character, and maybe a Rudolph-esque nose?

[spoiler]
2nd December: Oddgit, Night Goblin Shaman

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV627.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV724.jpg)

Name: Oddgit, Night Goblin Shaman

Original Points Cost: 184 points

Background: Oddgit is leader of the Night Goblin tribes that associate with the Iron Claw Orcs (who don't have Iron Claws), he is quite adapt at manipulating Grotfang leader of the Tribe. He wishes to avenge the Empire troops which desecrated the Idol of Gork.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Idol of Gork, model released White Dwarf 209 (May 1997)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV722.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV623.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Idol of Gork.

Special Rules:
Oddgit has the magic item Mad Cap Mushrooms which gives one unit's Fanatics an extra D6 hits on the first unit they collide with. As a result of the special scenario conditions, Oddgit cannot use any spells with Gork's name in it, and always adds +1 to any result on the 'Eadbanger chart.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV723.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I actually owned this campaign pack and remember constructing armies involving Oddgit, it was always annoyed me that he wasn't Level 4. I mean why would you take Level 3 – said my 11 year old-self who played the game as Herohammer.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: He'd be an easy inclusion in 8th edition, but I am not sure given most of his special rules are handicaps why you would. Oddgit's model is no longer available from Games Workshop, but there are some classic Night Goblin Shamans you could easily use instead.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV630.jpg)

With thanks to Ol for providing access to The Idol of Gork campaign book

[/spoiler]

Remember we'd love a tweet and we'd also love your comments on the character – just use the buttons below!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 03, 2013, 01:06:08 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 3rd December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Who could be in our Forgotten Special Character hall of fame today? Well he's got a massive grudge against the Dwarfs and likes to chuck things around. I've said too much haven't I?

[spoiler]
3rd December: Ku'Gath Plaguefather

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV479.jpg)

Name: Ku'Gath Plaguefather

Original Points Cost: 650 points – 7th Edition, 625 points – 8th Edition

Background: Ku'Gath Plaguefather is the Heston Blumenthal of the Daemons of Nurgle concocting his own plagues and testing them on the battlefield by hurling infected Nurglings at the enemy. Only mildly less unhygienic than a stay in the care of the NHS. Ku'Gath hates Snow White and all her allies, as the stunties are resistant to virulent diseases and looks forward to making them all Grumpy, then unwell and dead. He rides on a giant Palanquin of Nurgle carried on a bed of Nurglings.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Daemons of Chaos – 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV476.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

Special Rules: In 7th Edition: Ku'Gath acts as a Level 1 Wizard and a pretty nasty stone thrower, wounding on a 2+ with no Armour Saves! In addition to the usual Greater Daemon rules he hates Dwarfs, the feeling is probably mutual.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV483.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Despite their reputation I've had very few dealings with the Daemons of Chaos on the battlefield and only a few flicks through their special characters. Plus I've not even seen the 8th edition Daemons book. Sorry to admit my failings as the special character oracle!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: We have rules, but a model is going to be a beast to convert. A Greater Daemon of Nurgle on a palanquin carried by Nurglings. Two options, I think, wait for Games Workshop to remember this character or use the Greasus Goldtooth model and hope no one notices. I mean it's a similar principal just different creatures.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV485.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Tweet, retweet, comment and generally make us feel loved. Pretty please!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 04, 2013, 12:26:14 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 4th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Day 4 on the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Remember it's a character either missing a model or rules in the current 8th edition game. Here's your clue...

Now if you don't remember this character I don't suspect you've ever played Warhammer. It's a classic character who could do with some Gaviscon Double Action. You've got it now haven't you?

[spoiler]
4th December: Grom the Paunch of Misty Mountain

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV661.jpg)

Name: Grom the Paunch of Misty Mountain

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV650.jpg)

Original Points Cost: 257 points – 4th Edition; 255 points – 7th Edition; 285 points – 8th Edition

Background: Grom the Paunch is an immense Goblin after eating Troll flesh at the all-you-can-eat-buffet, he writhes around in agony as his stomach desperately tries to digest the regenerating Troll flesh. After smashing the Empire, Grom took his chariot on a drive on car ferry to Ulthuan before laying waste to Eltharion's land making him really grumpy!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV645.jpg)

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 165 (September 1993)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV648.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV653.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

Special Rules:
Grom's original special rules were simply regeneration and the Axe of Grom. After disappearing in 6th Edition Warhammer he returned in 7th Edition with some new special rules.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV640.jpg)

All Goblins in Grom's army are immune to the fear caused by Elves. The Axe of Grom causes killing blow on 5+ and Niblit's Banner gives Grom a 5+ Ward Save. The main change in 8th edition was that Niblit rebranded himself as Niblet.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV635.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Grom is one of my first special character memories having got a cardboard version included in my first every edition of Warhammer. I then went onto purchase the model to lead my Orc & Goblins, eventually replacing the model much letter after wrecking the original.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: You may think Grom isn't a forgotten Special Character, but despite being listed in the current Warhammer Armies: Orcs & Goblins book, and having a model that has seemingly been out forever. That model has recently disappeared off the Games Workshop website.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV634.jpg)

Perhaps the old Goblin model is finally going to get updated? In the meantime anyone got some Green stuff and multiple Goblin Chariots?

[/spoiler]

Hope you loved it! Please feel free to shout all about us over the social media.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 05, 2013, 01:33:19 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 5th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

The Forgotten Special Character in today's Advent Calendar is a tricky one to guess, he's never been in a Warhammer Army book of his own race, but the colour orange can be associated with him. Any guesses?

[spoiler]
5th December: Garagrim Ironfist

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV548.jpg)

Name: Garagrim Ironfist

Original Points Cost: 305 points

Background: Garagrim Ironfist was the son on Ungrim Ironfist, next in the long line of Slayer Kings of Karak Kadrin. Realising his destiny to save his family from the curse of ginger could be filled, Garagrim vowed to die before his father thus honouring the Slayer grudge and preventing it passing down the family line.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV545.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos

Special Rules: Garagrim has the Axes of Kadrin; two runic axes both inscribed with the Grudge Rune and Master Rune of Skalf Blackhammer. He may attack in a whirlwind of death like Doomseekers also featured in Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos. Any Giant Slayers in an army led by him may take magic runic weapons worth up to 25 points.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV551.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I was absent from the Warhammer scene during the Storm of Chaos. So my only memory on return to Warhammer, was seeing his model on the Games Workshop website, but not in Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs and wondering who the hell he was?!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The runes used by Garagrim still feature in Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs, so he's pretty easy to build. I probably wouldn't add Doomseekers back into the mix, no one is ready for that (except maybe the writers of Warhammer Armies: Dwarfs? If such people exist?).

The classic model recently disappeared from the Games Workshop website, but to be honest there's countless better Slayer models to choose from.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV539.jpg)

[/spoiler]

If you enjoyed this, why not tell us here or on Twitter or on both. Share, it's Christmas time!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 06, 2013, 09:47:06 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 6th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Today's Forgotten Special Character, I reckon, is the only one ever with a cat. Worked it out yet?

[spoiler]
6th December: Neferata

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV733.jpg)

Name: Neferata

Original Points Cost: 700 points

Background: Neferata, known as The Queen of Mysteries, is believed to be the same Vampire that fled the sacking of Lahmia over three thousand years ago. She however has been using lots of Boots No. 7 and still looks like the youngest most beautiful woman alive. Her favourite delicacy is Bretonnian Knight as they come packed in their own foil cases. She has made her home in the Silver Pinnacle, the highest peak of the World's Edge Mountains, from where she offers a viewing platform for a quite reasonable price.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV758.jpg)

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition, model released White Dwarf 237 (September 1999)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV755.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV728.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Vampire Counts – 5th Edition

Special Rules:
Neferata has an additional spell which is cast using her wounds rather than magic cards, with range 24" the first unit in its path suffers D6+2 S5 hits for each wound expended. Additionally she has the Blood Kiss, once per game any character killed by Neferata is turned into a Vampire Thrall (using basic statistics) armed with whatever magic items the character had. She has the following magic items: Dagger of Jet (any model wounded by the dagger also loses one point from either Strength, Toughness or Attacks chosen by Neferata), The Ruby of Lahmia (Neferata automatically regains the first wound suffered each phase, every time used roll a D6 adding the number of wounds already saved, exhausted on a 7+), Bastet (Neferata's cat joins an enemy unit each turn, must be different to previous turn, that unit suffers -1 Ld and rerolls all successful armour saves).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV760.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I was confused by what was happening to Undead at this point in the games' history. Though the cat is familiar.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: A monster character from Herohammer was at its worst! Probably none of her individual rules are that broken (with the possible exception of the The Ruby of Lahmia). But I think any more than half of them would be filth, and impossible to remember.

Isabella Von Carstein is the only female Vampire model around at present so I guess she's your best starting point. You just need a cat, younger sister's doll houses might be your best bet!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV771.jpg)

[/spoiler]

There's a metaphorical chocolate in it for you, if you Tweet and/or comment about us!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 07, 2013, 09:09:04 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 7th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

You've got the jist of it by now haven't you? Here's today's clue...

Who would you employ to announce the rival of the darkest of the darkest lords? Well they're in today's Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. Do you know who it is?

[spoiler]
7th December: Vardek Crom, Hearld of Archaon

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV708.jpg)

Name: Vardek Crom

Original Points Cost: 230 points

Background: Crom was chieftain of the Kul tribe, he travelled a long and hard journey to challenge Archaon. However upon seeing Archaon he realised he was the Everchosen, and decided it was probably best not to fight, in an absolutely non cowardly move. Vardek Crom went to lead his army through the Dark Lands to draw the armies of Men and Dwarfs away from the main battle.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV545.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Storm of Chaos

Special Rules:
Vardek Crom primarily leads an army of Chaos Undivided, with selection rules restricting Chaos units of specific marks. Crom must always accept a challenge, in a challenge Crom gains additional attack for each wound he causes if he elects to fight with two hand weapons, or he can use his hand weapon and shield to nullify a challengers weapon to a hand weapon.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV706.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Sadly I missed the Storm of Chaos, though sadly not the Storm of Magic, had I been part of it I'd loved the massed Warriors and armies and been all over Vardek Crom. In a non-sexual way of course.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules are too bloody complicated, they need to be simpler!!

Vardek Crom's model no longer exists on the Games Workshop website, I'd recommend this model. Just remember to paint him as Chaos Undivided!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV711.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Go on give us a RT or I'll send the boys round, possibly the Backstreet Boys, which will be less scary!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 08, 2013, 10:00:48 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 8th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

We're one week in. The excitement is literally non-existent. So I'll shut up and get on with it.

Today's clue is this character is very much long lost, they are female and they'd be handy with a Y-shaped rod. Any thoughts?

Click below to find out:

[spoiler]
8th December: Naieth the Prophetess

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV746.jpg)

Name: Naieth the Prophetess

Original Points Cost: 104 points

Background: Naieth is not a very good mage, so instead she's invented the art of divination, in order to justify her position in Wood Elf society. Earning her keep from foolish people who believe in Astrology and the like, Naieth is able to detect the flow of the Winds of Magic, or so she says.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV743.jpg)

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV735.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition

Special Rules:
Naieth is a Level 1 mage. She is accompanied by Othu the Owl who grants his good luck to one shooting unit every shooting phase allowing them to reroll their rolls to hit, Othu must choose a different unit each turn and characters may not benefit from his ability. Naieth carries the magic item The Rod of Divination which allows her to draw one additional magic card (old school) each magic phase.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV740.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Sorry who?! Apparently she's the mage printed on the front of Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition if the accompanying picture is anything to go by, and I remember that.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Am I the only one thinking that Othu the Owl is far scarier than Naieth? Updated the magic card for a power/dispel dice I think Naieth is fine for 8th edition – the jury's out on Othu!

Never been a model, but there's a few Wood Elf Spellsinger models you could pick from. Good luck modelling Othu, though the Rod of Divination would be easy enough.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV764.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Did you know that people who comment on this blog and mention us on Twitter go to heaven? It's true. Really is!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 09, 2013, 08:46:29 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 9th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's Monday again, terribly sorry, but on the plus it's Forgotten Special Advent Calendar time.

A certain vintage of special character today, he fought a war against an old enemy and there was lots of beer involved.

[spoiler]
9th December: Eldroth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV584.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV715.jpg)

Name: Eldroth

Original Points Cost: 220 points

Background: Eldroth was the founder of the Elven Colony of Tal Eldroth – modest fellow. And began trading with the Dwarven Queen Helgar, much to the annoyance of her rival Drong. Dwarfs being Dwarfs this lead to bitter war. Typical.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Grudge of Drong, model released White Dwarf 205 (January 1997)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV716.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV588.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Grudge of Drong

Special Rules: Eldroth carries The Sword of Tol Eldroth (there was a limit on names for this particular character), which allows him to reroll all failed to hit rolls in combat.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV714.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I really liked the idea of the Campaign Packs, though sadly I only ever got one (which I lost) as I was far more excited by the concept of buying models. I do remember this new range of High Elf characters, and being annoyed they were replacing my existing old models! I'm pretty sure this model is in my collection and got a really lame painting job done on it. So lame I cannot photograph it.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Given his only special rule is a magic item that gives him a rule all High Elves have as standard now, he's pretty easy to put rules together for.

The brilliant High Elf plastic Hero kit is a good place to start here, just remember to use the sword arm. And probably paint the word Eldroth on his base. He'd be annoyed if you didn't make it The Base of Eldroth!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV592.jpg)

With thanks to Ol for providing access to The Grudge of Drong campaign book

[/spoiler]

Go on feel free to write something.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on December 09, 2013, 01:01:07 pm
something - well you did ask nicely.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 09, 2013, 11:13:42 pm
Very good
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 10, 2013, 06:46:12 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 10th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Who could be in today's door? The excitement is brewing.

Today's Forgotten Special Character conjures up image of Nurgle himself, yet their army book entry doesn't mention the father of the plague even once. They are also known as the Lord of the Black Harvest. Any guesses?

[spoiler]
10th December: Slugtongue

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV444.jpg)

Name: Slugtongue

Original Points Cost: 190 points

Background: Slugtongue walks the land bringing plague and famine wherever he walks as good food is turned to bad, much like a visit to the Little Chef. His body looks like an I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here... trial, as his body is writhing in maggots and creepy crawlies. As he walks the land of the Empire causing starvation wherever he goes, armies form in desperation and Bono launches an aid concert.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Beastmen – 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV447.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available

Special Rules: Slugtongue is a Level 2 Wizard with Regeneration and Poisoned Attacks, his most intriguing special rule is his ability to cause wounds on the enemy in the deployment phase with his Plague special rule.

My Memories of the Character: As a champion of all things Beastmen I think I find him one of the most intriguing special characters in the book. With special rules that mean he completely stands out from the rest of the characters in the book.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The rules are ready, we just need an appropriate model. Judging by the army book drawing, I've always thought the following Nurgle Sorcerer with his head replaced with an appropriately ram like skull would look pretty good.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV463.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More tomorrow, that's how Advent Calendars work. Yes it is.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 11, 2013, 06:59:28 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 11th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's time to cast our minds back for another Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar, cue wibbly wobbly effect and harp music.

Good luck remembering this character, he's classic 4th edition with no model, and not even a proper Warhammer Armies book. Any thoughts?

[spoiler]
11th December: Zhatan the Black, Commander of the Tower of Zharr

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV720.jpg)

Name: Zhatan the Black

Original Points Cost: 172 points

Background: Zhatan the Black won the competition to be the special character listed last on the alphabetical list of special characters in the Warhammer World. Zhatan the Black works for the Sorcerer Ghorth the Cruel, ruler of Zharr Naggrund and leader of all Traffic Wardens. Ghorth keeps Zhatan relentless busy capturing fresh slaves for the mines, a job Zhatan loves more than any imaginable task. His laugh is said to echo the slave halls like Chris Akabusi.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV717.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition.

Special Rules: Zhatan the Black can ride either a Great Taurus or Lammasu (younger readers should ask your parents), and gain has four magic item slots rather than the usual three for a lord character. Additionally he hates all enemies.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV718.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Mr Shakey Shakey was my regular opponent back in 4th edition times and I regularly suffered at the hands of his Chaos Dwarfs. We always presumed one day I would face the wrath of Zhatan the Black when he was released, but no. Never.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: There was never a model, or even a drawing of Zhatan, so you will have to go by your own imagination. Of course you could always journey to the far off realm of the Forgeworld website to visit their wears, but be wary for that land is ruled by the God of expensive postage & packaging.

With thanks to Mr Shakey Shakey for providing access to the White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition book

[/spoiler]

There's more tomorrow, but if you've forgotten who you've forgotten, remember to catch up on the previous characters above!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on December 11, 2013, 12:42:11 pm
Nice work Matt - I had indeed forgotten about this chap, although I had (have?) a copy of the CD book from 4th ed.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2013, 08:02:58 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 12th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's the highlight of your day, the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar! Seriously you need to get out more. Yesterday we reminded at least one person about a character, thanks for the comment!!

This Forgotten character has only recently been forgotten, you might not have even realised he'd be forgotten. I'd approach him with a sponge and a gas mask.

[spoiler]
12th December: Throt the Unclean

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV670.jpg)

Name: Throt the Unclean

Original Points Cost: 80 points – 4th Edition; 285 points – 6th Edition; 225 points – 7th Edition

Background: Throt the Unclean is a packmaster from Clan Moulder, the strongest in the Hell Pit. The Hell Pit being based primarily on the city of Swindon. Throt has gained a third arm, but lost an eye in a body organ balancing system. His eye has been replaced with a glowing Warpstone charm. All the fashion in the Hell Pit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV681.jpg)

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Skaven – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 269 (May 2002)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV672.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV666.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

Special Rules:
In the 4th Edition Throt was simply a unit champion, one of his attacks is with the Man-Catcher, if he hits then Throt rolls a D6 if he exceeds his opponent's Toughness the target is killed. He carries a Warpstone Charm which allows him to reroll any single dice throw in the game and add or subtract 1 to the roll.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV677.jpg)

Surviving the 6th edition cull Throt became a Lord his Man-Catcher gained the Killing Blow rule against models up to monstrous infantry size. All Clan Moulder units within 6" may reroll failed Psychology tests, Throt never pursues his enemy, Throt can regenerate.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV679.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV686.jpg)

Throt's gained the Whip of Domination in the current 7th edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV688.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: I have never faced Throt to my memory, despite him having survived all the iterations of Warhammer Armies: Skaven. However he's failed to survive the current Games Workshop cull on models and is no longer on their website.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules stand. Perhaps a new model is due, perhaps you'll have to hunt on eBay in the meantime.

[/spoiler]

More tomorrow! Contain yourselves people.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on December 12, 2013, 10:24:54 am
I'll have you know that you've not only faced but defeated Throt at the last Waagh. Some scummy Dragon Princes overran him after I lost combat with his unit of Giant Rats by 1.

I have not forgotten, even if you have.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 12, 2013, 10:29:40 am
Quote from: underscore on December 12, 2013, 10:24:54 am
I'll have you know that you've not only faced but defeated Throt at the last Waagh. Some scummy Dragon Princes overran him after I lost combat with his unit of Giant Rats by 1.

I have not forgotten, even if you have.

Hahaha oops yes you are quite correct, my apologies! I wrote all 24 special characters in one day back in November and must have drifted into a coma during this one!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 13, 2013, 09:13:36 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 13th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Today's Forgotten Special Character is a classic Medieval archetype, who never really made an impression on the Warhammer scene. They are featured in probably the best source of Forgotten Special Characters ever printed. Click to see if you got it right...

[spoiler]
13th December: Jasperre le Beau, Dragonslayer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV464.jpg)

Name: Jasperre le Beau

Original Points Cost: 234 points

Background: Jasperre le Beau, was the Rent-o-kill of modern Bretonnia slaying beasts and Dragon's far and wide in a seemingly never ending quest for the Grail. Despite slaying the Dragon Malgrimace the Lady of the Lake couldn't be bothered to get out of her relaxing bath and offer him a cup of anything. Lazy cow.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV470.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Bretonnia – 5th Edition

Special Rules: Jasperre is a Questing Knight riding a Pegasus. He has three magic items; The Virtuous Lance which gives +4 Strength on the charge against monsters, each wound causing D3 Wounds, at the end of the combat roll a D6 and add the wounds caused if the total is greater than 6 the model is slain! The Claw of Malgrimace reduces the attacks of any monster in base-to-base contact by D6. Helm of the Dragon Slayer protects Jasperre from the breath weapons of all Dragons.

My Memories of the Character: To be honest buried in the 5th edition Bretonnia books 400 characters, and with such a small description it's hard for Jasperre to stand out at all. Poor love!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The rules have the potential to be filthy against monsters, particularly in modern Warhammer where facing a monster or two isn't that unlikely. But it all depends on the charge I guess! Probably you'd maybe tone down The Virtuous Lance and give him Heroic Killing Blow instead.

The recent cull in available models for Bretonnian players limits your choices for model, so you'd probably have to convert a Pegasus Knight (or maybe go hunting online!)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV473.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Go on give us a tweet, give us a mention, post me a letter. I'd love to hear from you!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 14, 2013, 10:10:36 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 14th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's Saturday!!! So you've probably got better things to do and aren't reading this blog. So how about "It's Monday, and I've got all this weekend's Special Characters to look at before getting on with work?"

Today's inductee in the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar has appeared in two editions of his respective army book. And has the honour of being the only choice in the current army book without an in production model. Any guesses...?

[spoiler]
14th December: Kholek Suneater

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV423.jpg)

Name: Kholek Suneater

Original Points Cost: 605 points – 7th Edition, 545 points – 8th Edition

Background: Kholek Suneater is a titanic Dragon Ogre Shaggoth of Eric Pickles proportions. Said to be one of the children of the father of the Dragon Ogres, he is destined to return to the world, sparking a festival where we all spend lots of money at John Lewis in years to come. Unfortunately, despite his name, he's never eaten any of Rupert Murdoch's publications. Kholek has never once needed to buy sun cream as his body has never seen the rays of the sun, always blocked out by storm clouds where he moves.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos – 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV427.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV429.jpg)

Special Rules: Kholek is able to summon a lightning bolt to hit an enemy, or possibly himself. His Starcrusher does Multiple Wounds (D3). Kholek's Armour of the Storm drew any nearby lightning based spells to affect himself instead of the target. Kholek was not allowed to join units.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV435.jpg)

In 8th Edition Kholek lost the Armour of the Storm, but now isn't restricted to joining units.

My Memories of the Character: Kholek Suneater always looks intriguing on the pages of both Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos editions. And I imagine a titanic Dragon Ogre, but lack of model has pretty much meant he's always been glossed over.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: The rules exist as is, the model less so. Of course the obvious but boring choice is to just use the existing Shaggoth model.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV438.jpg)

The more exciting choice is to maybe get some green stuff, a Giant Kit and some Dragon Ogres!! Have fun!

[/spoiler]

More tomorrow, but only if you give us a mention on Twitter or the like. Otherwise nothing.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 15, 2013, 12:59:14 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 15th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's the day of rest, but not for the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar as there's another relic of the past today!

Ok today you need to cast your minds back to the 4th edition of Warhammer, it's quite a bland character with a horse. I think that's enough clues for now!!

[spoiler]
15th December: Valmir Von Raukov, Elector Count of Ostland

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV559.jpg)

Name: Valmir Von Raukov, Elector Count of Ostland

Original Points Cost: 160 points

Background: Valmir is the Elector Count of Ostland who lives in the wide and untamed northern lands of the North. Here he fights off Chaos incursion, Norse bandits, Orc raids and Wolverhampton Wanderers supporters. He is a brave man armed with so many weapons he needs a special Batman utility belt, unless they are all joined together on an Ostland Swiss Army Knife.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 184 (April 1995)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV573.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV563.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: The Empire – 4th Edition

Special Rules: Like all the Elector Counts, Valmir carries a Runefang (no armour save, even magic armour, all wounds against Undead models count as two wounds). He also carries the Dragon Bow which is a magic bow, range 36" firing 3 shots at the same target.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV570.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: An identifiable Elector Count, weren't there 12 of these, it felt like there were about 400 Empire Special Characters. My Orcs & Goblins were very jealous!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Giving an Empire a Hero a Runefang is easy enough, if you are prepared to overlook the rules on having more than one magic weapon, you could give him a bow using the High Elf rules for The Reaver Bow which is pretty similar. Yes it's bent, but the original character was too.

The Empire plastic hero kit is your best bet to start here, though you need to give him a bow, the one from Markus Wulfheart would be my choice.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV578.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More next week, and in fact tomorrow too!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2013, 10:40:00 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 16th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's Special Character time! But who could it be?

My only clue today is grumpy Kevin McCloud. If you don't get it from that, you won't ever get it!

[spoiler]
16th December: Ramhotep the Visionary

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV700.jpg)

Name: Ramhotep the Visionary

Original Points Cost: 110 points

Background: Ramhotep the Visionary was a famous architect of Nehekhara who built the grandest buildings in under 48 hours for a cheap television makeover programme. He was so proud of his buildings that he escaped the ritual embalmment required of all architects upon completion of their grand projects. Sadly a fate Laurence Llewelyn Bowen also managed to escape. Upon resurrection he was disgusted to see his works had fallen into disrepair and started an angry campaign to punish the living races while getting those on Community Service to clean them up.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Tomb Kings – 8th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV698.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

Special Rules:
Ramhotep is so angry that any unit he accompanies is subject to frenzy, he also brings a special hardened unit that he has sculpted himself.

My Memories of the Character: None, I just looked through this book now to get some ideas for this feature.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: There is no specific model for Ramhotep, though as he's a Necrotect you could just use a Necrotect model. I hope I haven't blinded you with silence there.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV703.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Go on give us a RT! Please.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 16, 2013, 11:06:46 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 113 – More than a Chocolate Today Monday 16th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

113.1 Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar

Hopefully you have been enjoying the two weeks and a bit of the annual Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar. The fourth year (Really? God I feel old!) of Warhammer reminiscing .

If you haven't seen it, then where have you been? Reading a better blog have we? You slut! Any way each day features a Warhammer Special Character that has been forgotten. Either they have no rules in their current army book, or maybe they have rules but no character. Or perhaps they are so old they've disappeared altogether. To qualify as a Special Character all you need is at least one special rule. So they'll be a range of characters from army books in the midst of time, forgotten characters in current books, or even those featured solely in the White Dwarf, and a whole lot more besides.

Today's update you should find above this post, and as always we'd love to hear your comments and thoughts upon the calendar. Oh and remember to keep checking back for the remaining 8 days. S**t it's 8 days to Christmas!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!

113.2 Ogfort Battle 2

Back in Updates 111 & 112 you will have seen how Sorcerer Lord Barlow's Tzeentchian army got on in the Battle for Ogfort (representing Team Ogfried). Well it was time for Battle 2, here is Pip's briefing.

With Ogfried's sentries mercilessly despatched, Oggalyn's main force advances on the sleepy town of Ogford. Known only for an exile from the Empire's ill-fated attempt to found a university there, Ogford has never been important to anyone until now.

Crossing the river in the dead of night, Oggalyn's army catches the garrison of Ogford unawares. Waking from their sleep to the sound of warhorns, they must scramble to defend themselves before it is too late.


All was going well, but sadly this week I have been in Washington, the American one (not the one in Sunderland). It's a tough life, but someone has to do it. Which combined with my opponent Glenn being insanely busy at work, has meant that we weren't able to get our game in. As a result it was declared a draw, I am not complaining it's my best result so far in the campaign!!!

Sorcerer Lord Barlow smacked Louis the Sorcerous Imp around the back of the head. They were supposed to be in the town of Ogford. They were supposed to be defending the town from rampaging Orcs & Goblins. Instead Louis had, had the map upside down and God knows where they were. Barlow cursed. Next time he would make sure to lead the forces personally. Blood would be spilled.

I have actually played Battle 3, but haven't got round to typing that up just yet. Fingers crossed I'll get it done shortly.

113.3 Assembling the Warriors of Chaos

Last edition I showed you the vast wealth of Warriors models I assembled in a flurry of activity. Sadly painting work has progressed a teeny bit more slowly. Stupid real life. But I can confirm there is paint on the Warhshrine, I repeat "paint on the Warshrine!" And not just Chaos Black undercoat either, there's some colours!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3541.jpg)

More excitement to follow soon. Hopefully.

113.4 Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines – Day 14,256

Even the most able doctor had proclaimed my entry to the Tale of Gamers: Ultramarines long dead. But no against the odds it still clings vainly to life, like that old relative whose house you really want to inherit.

After a mammoth painting session I've finally finished an amazing centre piece model which is really going to pump up the points cost of the army and get me back on track. What do you mean a Drop Pod is only worth 35 points? Seriously? I spent fecking ages painting that bloody thing.

Well anyway here's the finished model:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3510.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3518.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3523.jpg)

There's a number of little details I'd like to take this opportunity to draw your attention to, and waste your timee even further. No not the frankly ridiculous amount of glowing red lights I painted on the main supports. Seriously it was a lot! No I'm not sure why I bothered.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3535.jpg)

Ultramarine Transfers

Secondly the Ultramarine transfers, which were kindly donated by Gary from the club.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3542.jpg)

I managed to pick up the Drop Pod pre-built, second hand from someone who had dropped it from their list (dropped it, get it? Dropped it? No ok). Anyway the point was it didn't come with any transfers. However after my Thundercats style light in the sky beacon on this very forum. Gary kindly presented me with these Letraset transfers which he had created himself.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3543.jpg)

These are reasonably straight forward to apply. I clean the target area with some 'Ardcoat, and then cut out the chosen transfer.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3544.jpg)

I then position the transfer, a bit of masking tape can be helpful here (not as helpful as someone to do it for you, but there we go). Be careful as the transfer will reasonably easily stick to the base surface.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3545.jpg)

With that done the next step is to carefully rub across the surface of the transfer to push the design onto the hull. I used a coffee stirrer for this particular task. It's much like rubbing off a scratch card though without the excitement.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3546.jpg)

Occasionally  there's a little bit of damage to the transfers but that's easily touched up with some White Scar. Not that I have OCD (ok I do) but the horizontal strokes on the Ultramarine transfers were a little long, I felt, compared to my existing Ultramarine detailing. So I used a little White Scar and Alatoic Blue to tidy them up.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3547.jpg)

Thanks again to Gary for taking the time to make the transfers, really, really appreciated.

Hazard Stripes

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3528.jpg)

The final specialist task for the Drop Pod was painting the hazard stripes on the sides of the doors. There's something that really amuses about the concept of the hazard stripes. As if the Space Marine health & safety executive has no qualms with blasting it's men from orbit deep into the heart of a pitched battle with unnatural weapons and evil aliens. But while disembarking do mind the slip or trip hazard posed by the doors. That could kill someone.

The only problem with the doors was how would I paint them so the stripes were the same width and angle across all ten door sides? My own neuroses would not allow anything other than perfection. After what seemed like a hundred failed attempts to try marking out the doors with masking tape I hit on a better idea.

From a cereal box I cut out a section of card that would represent each section of stripe - a parallelogram for those playing the mathematical terminology drinking game. I used this as template to cut a load more out.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3548.jpg)

I then attached these along the edge of each door panel with some white-tac, being sure to make sure they started at the same point along the door each time.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3549.jpg)

I then removed alternate card pieces

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3550.jpg)

And painted the resulting gaps yellow.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3551.jpg)

And hey presto when all the pieces are removed the yellow stripes are marked out.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3552.jpg)

I then tidying up the stripes and highlighted the black and yellow sections as appropriate. The only thing to note here is to remember to reverse the card templates when painting the opposite of the doors. It was actually surprisingly easy, so feel free to give it a go!

113.5 Get in Touch

Just because this isn't an Advent Calendar posting, don't think I am not going to harass you about getting in touch and essentially giving me some affection in my sad and lonely life. Am I selling it?

Feel free to give us your comments, no matter how bad, here. And of course you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've mainly been staring at a blank wall.

Remember to check in tomorrow for Day 17 of the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 17, 2013, 10:26:13 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 17th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Tick, tock, tick, tock, it's Forgotten Special Character o'clock!

Oh but first do remember there's a proper blog entry above with all the usual trimmings enjoy!

Ok so this is a current character with no model, but what a model it would be, a stonking model of all proportions? Any guesses?

[spoiler]
17th December: Lord Mazdamundi

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV612.jpg)

Name: Lord Mazdamundi

Original Points Cost: 620 points – 7th Edition; 780 points – 8th Edition

Background: Everyone hates being made to feel lazy by someone who gets up early at the weekends and gets stuff done. Well Lord Mazdamundi is the Lizardman equivalent. A Slann who believes there is no point diving the Old Ones plan until all the lesser races have been forced back to the original instructions. Whether they agree or not. And what better way to encourage them than by trampling them under a giant dinosaur!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 5th Edition, and after missing the 6th Edition book returned in 7th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV607.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

Special Rules: 7th Edition - Lord Mazadumndi rides a Stegadon! He is a Level 4 mage, he knows the special spell Ruination of Cities. Additionally he carries the Cobra Mace of Mazdamundi (always strikes first, Strength 5, poisoned attack, any hits destroy enemy magic weapons), Sun Standard of Hexoatl (army battle standard).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV616.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Everytime I flick through the Lizardmen book I think how amazing the model would look!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: He still features in Warhammer Armies: Lizardmen – 8th Edition, but there's no model.

Stegadon plus Slann Mage Priest minus Howdah and Skinks. Simple?!?!?!?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV620.jpg)

[/spoiler]

More madness tomorrow!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on December 17, 2013, 12:50:04 pm
I look forward to it
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Pip on December 17, 2013, 02:39:02 pm
Mazdamundi's first appearance wasn't in the 7th Ed book - it was in the 5th Ed book! He's been around for as long as Lizardmen have been an army of their own, he just missed an edition with 6th.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 17, 2013, 02:45:34 pm
Quote from: Pip on December 17, 2013, 02:39:02 pm
Mazdamundi's first appearance wasn't in the 7th Ed book - it was in the 5th Ed book! He's been around for as long as Lizardmen have been an army of their own, he just missed an edition with 6th.

You have made a very good point. Oops! I shall make the appropriate adjustments!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 18, 2013, 10:15:54 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Wednesday 18th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

One week to go until the big day! S**T, F**K, B******S there's so much today. Oh well just carry on Procrastinating and read about today's Forgotten Special Character. And hopefully I've got today's character correct!

Deep in the midst of the Warhammer World I've dredged today's Special Character. You'd imagine they'd have an angelic glow, and be surprised to find they don't have a steed. Any ideas?

[spoiler]
18th December: The Holy Knight

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV694.jpg)

Name: The Holy Knight

Original Points Cost: 140 points

Background: The Holy Knight has no friends and lives alone defending the chapel Seriene, from the Undead. As no other army would descend upon the Chapel for fear of making friends with The Holy Knight. It is his duty to protect the graves from the Undead and the local council who want to exhume it and put in a car park.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Circle of Blood, model released White Dwarf 211 (July 1997)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV725.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV691.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Campaign Pack: The Circle of Blood

Special Rules:
The Holy Knight bears the Righteous Hammer, any Undead model struck by the hammer is automatically wounded. Additionally no Undead spell can be targeted anywhere within 6" of The Holy Knight.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV726.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Was he in Monty Python? Otherwise no.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: If you take this character and are playing Undead you are cheating, if you take this character and you are not playing Undead you are a moron.

There are so few Bretonnian Character models you cannot make a model for The Holy Knight. It is not possible.

[/spoiler]

More of this tomorrow. Which is more of a threat than a reminder.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Pip on December 18, 2013, 02:48:26 pm
QuoteThere are so few Bretonnian Character models you cannot make a model for The Holy Knight. It is not possible.

Sez you - think I have the original at home! Although my younger self clipped off the hammer and replaced it with a morning star, because morning stars were obviously cool.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 18, 2013, 08:55:12 pm
Quote from: Pip on December 18, 2013, 02:48:26 pm
Sez you - think I have the original at home! Although my younger self clipped off the hammer and replaced it with a morning star, because morning stars were obviously cool.

True obviously if you have him or some Bretonnian bits you can. It was more a reference to the fact there are only 4 Bretonnian. Character models currently in production. Three of which are special characters and the other is a set of Damsels, so you'd have a hard time starting from scratch!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Pip on December 18, 2013, 11:37:01 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on December 18, 2013, 08:55:12 pmand the other is a set of Damsels

Hey, maybe the Holy Knight likes pretty dresses. It's not for us to judge.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 19, 2013, 10:47:38 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Thursday 19th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Bring out the Special Character they cried! So I respond here is your character, enjoy!

Today's Forgotten Special Character lives somewhere hot, they walk on foot, and come from what could be described as a Forgotten Army. What you thinking?

[spoiler]
19th December: Lorenzo Lupo

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV511.jpg)

Name: Lorenzo Lupo

Original Points Cost: 225 points – 5th Edition; 300 points – 6th Edition

Background: Lorenzo Lupo is a collector of antiquities, a normal coloured David Dickenson, and a powerful general. Having accidentally eaten a Tesco Lasagne, he prefers to shun the horse and fights on foot with his men.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dogs of War – 5th Edition.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV506.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 266 – 6th Edition Rules Update.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV503.jpg)

Special Rules: Dogs of War 5th Edition: Any unit he fights with gain +1 combat resolution, rolls of to determine whether he gains +1 Strength, Toughness or Attack at the beginning of the game. He has three magic items: Sword of Lucan (ignore non-magical armour saves), Ring of Luccina (Bound Spell, one use only, all fleeing friendly units within 8" rally), Shield of Myrmidia (one close combat opponent loses D3 attacks).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV509.jpg)

In the 6th edition these were marginally modified mainly to fit the new Warhammer rules.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV515.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Dogs of War were weird.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: No. No. No. Dogs of War are dead, I am afraid.

[/spoiler]

Another character tomorrow if you're lucky, and probably if you're unlucky too!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 20, 2013, 09:07:23 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Friday 20th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's F... F... F... freezing, and incidentally Friday too. But before you head out in the cold read this!

Today's Forgotten Special Character is an impish character that those with a long memory for characters without models might remember them prancing around!

[spoiler]
20th December: Wychwethyl The Wild, Wardancer Champion

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV748.jpg)

Name: Wychwethyl The Wild, Wardancer Champion

Original Points Cost: 100 points

Background: Wychwethyl the Wild, baffled enemies with his dancing skills and unpronounceable name. His dancing is so noisy and energetic that it is he who wakes Orion and Ariel after their long winter sleep, with a cup of tea and a biscuit. If the two gods continue to slumber Wychwethyl wakes them with his drum.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV735.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Wood Elves – 4th Edition

Special Rules:
Wychwethyl the Wild, Wardancer Champion can choose any opponent to fight in the unit regardless of whether they are in base-to-base contact. Once per battle he can use a dance where he attacks every model in the front rank of the unit. He carries the magic item The Drum of Orcskin (one use only, the unit adds D6 inches to its charge).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV752.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: No one in my gaming group at the time had the Wood Elves, so any Wood Elf character without a model was never going to get found out about!

Inclusion in 8th Edition: His rules and magic item don't seem that horrendous (unlike a lot of 4th edition characters) so I'd reckon they could be used as presented. Though he'd be pretty good using his dance against a horde unit.

There never has been a model, but there are Wardancer Champion models so that's a good place to start. I'd add a drum to the model to at least show some effort and represent The Drum of Orcskin.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV767.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Love us and comment on us now, because like the Snowman and the unwanted Christmas puppy in the New Year we will be dead.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 21, 2013, 09:03:18 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Saturday 21st December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Forgotten another Special Character, god your memory must be terrible, you are getting old. I suppose I better remind you of yet another one.

I'd happily offer £100 to anyone who claims to remember this character, but I suspect you're a lying cheat so I won't pay. This is a White Dwarf only character gifted with sword and magic.

[spoiler]
21st December: Lord Salendor of Tor Achare

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV602.jpg)

Name: Lord Salendor of Tor Achare

Original Points Cost: 345 points

Background: Lord Salendor was a High Elven noble who was a bit of a show off, being versed in both the magical arts and in sword play too. He was a tactical genius able to match his Dwarfen rivals in the War of the Beard, plus he was pretty good at Draughts too.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf 267 (March 2002)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV595.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf 267 (March 2002)

Special Rules: Lord Salendor was armed with two hand weapons and was a Level 2 Wizard. He had the following special rules: one unit could redeploy in the High Elf deployment zone after all deployment complete; he always strikes first and has a 4+ Ward save; all of Salenodr's hits have an additional -1 armour save modifier.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV599.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Salendor appears in three part White Dwarf article which gives special rules for The War of the Beard, listing army lists, special characters and magic items used in this epic conflict. I don't really remember too much about it.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Most of the rules simply transfer across to modern day Warhammer, particularly the always strikes first one!!

There are tips in the White Dwarf about converting Lord Salendor, which suggest using a Shadow Warrior and covering the armour up, as he's a spellcaster. Something we seem to have forgotten about with the Loremaster of Hoeth! Cough cough!!

The Shadow Warrior kit sounds like a good place to start though for this tactical genius, maybe arming him with a second sword. As that sets him apart from modern day Elves.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV603.jpg)

[/spoiler]

There's more tomorrow, make sure you join us, or I will come round and slap you!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 22, 2013, 10:30:42 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Sunday 22nd December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Started the Christmas shopping yet? No, no, you probably haven't have you. Oops!

Today's Forgotten Special Character is a bloody frenzied killer, which literally rules out no one in the Warhammer World. As a further clue he dates back to the 4th edition Warhammer Army books. Any guesses?

[spoiler]
22nd December: Tullaris of Har Ganeth

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV489.jpg)

Name: Tullaris of Har Ganeth

Original Points Cost: 223 points – 4th Edition, 95 points – 7th Edition, 107 points – 8th Edition

Background: Tullaris of Har Ganeth, is the leader of the Dark Elf executioners with a fearsome reputation. He once famously killed the entire population of a town simply as he didn't like the name. Residents of Slough fear he may one day visit them. His vicious tendency for bloodshed, once meant he slew five prisoners in one swipe of his blade, beginning the famous five a day policy of the Executioners. Even the Witch Elves fear that one day he may attack them and cut their long flowing hair!

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Dark Elves – 4th Edition, no model currently available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV490.jpg)

Last Appearance: N/A – Currently Available.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV493.jpg)

Special Rules: Originally Tullaris had no special rules, just bearing the magic items The Black Amulet (rebounds wounds on a 4+) and the Executioner's Axe (effectively killing blow). Upon his return in 7th edition he became a unit upgrade to the Excutioners making the unit cause Fear. He added +D3 to combat resolution if he killed a character in a challenge and had The Blade of Har Ganeth meaning he could re-rolled failed rolls to wound. In 8th edition he now becomes a Hero.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV494.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Of the many Dark Elf characters I remember he is not one, lack of model despite appearing in three army books being the main cause. Though I do remember The Black Amulet as the must have magic item way back when.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV497.jpg)

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Quite an easy inclusion as we have rules, and the new Dark Elf plastic Executioners kit give an easy option to build a bespoke unit leader to represent him.

[/spoiler]

More tomorrow. Probably. Unless I die, or the world ends, or the internet dies, or I find something better to do.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 23, 2013, 08:52:18 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 23rd December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Well if you haven't got how this works by now, there really is no help for you.

Ok so this special character belongs to a race for which Games Workshop (and Forgeworld) make no models for any more. Any guesses?

[spoiler]
23rd December: Gorduz Backstabber, Hobgoblin Chieftain

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV721.jpg)

Name: Gorduz Backstabber

Original Points Cost: 93 points

Background: Gorduz Backstabber was an exceptionally long-lived Hobgoblin, thanks primarily due to him not trusting any other hobgoblins and his exceptionally luck. No one could understand why he had not been killed off long before, much like Piers Morgan.

Original Appearance: White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV717.jpg)

Last Appearance: White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition.

Special Rules:
Gorduz Backstabber has a 4+ ward save when he is on his last wound.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV718.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Apparently my memories are rubbish as I really thought a model existed for this character, but apparently it does not. Maybe Mr Shakey Shakey my previous regular Chaos Dwarf opponent used a random Hobgoblin character model for him?

Inclusion in 8th Edition: Good luck making Hobgoblins from scratch!

With thanks to Mr Shakey Shakey for providing access to the White Dwarf Presents: Warhammer Chaos Dwarfs – 4th Edition book

[/spoiler]

Join us tomorrow for the final day of our Forgotten Character fun!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 24, 2013, 11:01:05 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Tuesday 24th December 2013

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

This is it the final day of the Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar, shed a tear, then go get pissed!

The Forgotten Special Character will be virtually unheard of. If you are old enough to be alive when this model was around, you will be too old to have a sufficiently working memory to remember this one!

[spoiler]
24th December: Aldebrand Ludenhof, Elector Count of Hochland

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV555.jpg)

Name: Aldebrand Ludenhof, Elector Count of Hochland

Original Points Cost: 120 points

Background: Aldebrand is the Elector Count of Hochland a small and rather unimportant realm, much like Wales. He is a massive fan of hunting, and every room in his palace stinks of dead animals that have been stuffed. Aldebrand even carries a Hawk into battle with him, in a way that implies that bringing pets to battle is even vaguely practical.

Original Appearance: Warhammer Armies: Empire – 4th Edition, model released White Dwarf 184 (April 1995)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV573.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV563.jpg)

Last Appearance: Warhammer Armies: The Empire – 4th Edition

Special Rules: Like all the Elector Counts, Aldebrand carries a Runefang (no armour save, even magic armour, all wounds against Undead models count as two wounds). Aldebrand's hawk gives him an additional Strength 3 attack that strikes before all other models.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV567.jpg)

My Memories of the Character: Aldebrand was part of the vast wealth of Special Characters that the Empire had, which always seemed unfair at the time. If that didn't make him obscure enough he was one of the four virtually identical Elector Count characters. It was the 1990s equivalent of trying to identify and individual member of Union J.

Inclusion in 8th Edition: It's pretty easy to make your own Elector Count in the current Warhammer Armies: The Empire though the Runefang is a hell of a lot better than it used to be. To be honest adding in the existing rules for the hawk is unlikely to break the game, so I reckon value the hawk at 10 points?

The Empire plastic hero kit would be a great place to start here, ideally you'd want to find a Hawk to include which might be quite hard. I know a lot of the High Elf kits have birds such as the Seagull included in the Lothern Sky Chariot kit. You might be able to do better than that!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/Advent%20Calendar/ADV581.jpg)

[/spoiler]

Nope this isn't a modern Advent Calendar there's no chocolate on Christmas Day you greedy pig. In fact there's been no chocolate on any day, but there we go.

Thanks for all those of you have read, enjoyed and commented upon this calendar. I will see both of you in the New Year. In the meantime Merry Christmas!!!!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: The Trampoline on December 25, 2013, 10:43:09 am
My first proper Empire army was Hochland, so I was very aware of this character. However, my main memory of him from when I was getting into the hobby in the mid 90's was that his wayward newphew was sent to Thurkinson's Island to set up an imperial coloney in part of the Return to Thurkinson's Island campaign the studio played and featured in White Dwarf.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 06, 2014, 01:21:15 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 114 Happy Same Old, Same Old Year Monday 6th January 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

114.1 Happy New Year

Given that the vast majority of people on this forum don't care about Warhammer any more (sad fact), and this is a Warhammer related blog I thought I'd give something for everyone. So here presented for you is a post direct from another non-Warhammer blog I write, this week all about New Year's Resolutions. Don't worry the two of you who still like hobby fun, because afterwards I will talk about my hobby resolutions from 2013 and those going into 2014. So enjoy...

Happy New Year, welcome to 2014!

The year is barely a few days old and already you've cast off your New Year's Resolutions faster than that four-sizes-too-big Christmas jumper that Nan knitted you!

You had good intentions. You started well. You didn't mean to fail within the first week. But the Resolutions were made in a happier time. You were still enjoying the Christmas feasting. You had that weird free time between Christmas and New Year which is sort of like guilt free slobbing time. Plus you were basking in the warm glow of having escaped being with the family. And as an extra bonus, you'd got through Christmas Day without having killed any of your relatives, not even one. Despite them clearly deserving it on multiple occasions, you'd reserved the carving knife solely for the turkey and did not garrotte anyone with a string of fairy lights. So no wonder that when you were in that virtually post-Olympic Gold winning euphoria, you'd made some rather rash promises about how you were going to change your life. Now in the cold light of January you've come to terms with the fact that you are a poor, obese recovering alcoholic. And you've re-joined the drudgery of day to day life, without even the comfort of a little tinsel around your office PC and the knowledge that the nearest Bank Holiday is so far away that it might as well be in orbit of Jupiter. Given these circumstances the idea of shedding a few pounds, or going to the gym more often than you renew your TV licence, seem like Herculean endeavours. And it's virtually impossible for you to have succeeded.

My advice, which is almost certainly unwelcome, annoyingly far too late, and will be forgotten by the time you set your 2015 resolutions, would be to make your goals quantifiable. Give yourself a barometer of success that you can actually measure your achievements or otherwise against, rather than some abstract wishy-washy goal that is about as easy to evaluate as a University Challenge question. For example, the goal of "going to the gym more" is so open to interpretation that it almost becomes meaningless. If you didn't go to the gym at all in 2013, then simply turning up once in your sweat bands to sign up will have achieved your goal; even though your body still retains the dimensions of the average Zorbing sphere. It's too easy to argue your way out of going to the gym with such flimsy a target, so you stay in bed rather than hitting the treadmill. Guilt-free in the realisation that yes you are shit at going to the gym this year, but you were really shit at going last year so you still pass the New Year's test. Had you set yourself a less vague target of say "going to the gym once a week", it would be a bit easier to measure success or failure. Of course you could still cheat and simply turn up every week to get a packet of Pickled Onion Monster Munch out of the leisure centre vending machine before sodding off home. But if you are able to rationalise that to be an exercise success, then there's no hope for you and you might as well give up and roll around in a swimming pool sized tub of lard. Obviously a quantifiable target must also be an obtainable target, if you set yourself the target of "going to the gym five days a week from 9am to 5pm" you will almost certainly fail - or you're a gym instructor using your New Year's Resolutions as an opportunity to address an appalling attendance record. But we'll discount that as a possibility.

You almost certainly couldn't care what New Year's Resolutions I've set myself this year. But despite that I will continue on unperturbed to tell you that I've set two New Year's Resolutions this year. The first one of these is to try and stop procrastinating so much which, judging by the length of this rambling blog, you'll have already concluded I have spectacularly failed. You may have also noticed this goes against my rule about New Year's resolution setting – in that it's not a measurable target. To be honest I wasn't really sure how to turn "not procrastinating" into a quantifiable target, and I was worried if I spent too long thinking about it, I would end up failing the resolution very early on. I'm not sure how well it's going to work out, but I'm hoping that rather than spending the day unsure what to do with myself, which paralyses me into doing nothing, I'll actually get on and do something, regardless of whether it's the optimum use of my time. Well I say that but I'll probably just look at Twitter a bit then scratch my bum and play Candy Crush, but hey ho.

My second New Year's Resolution, which is one which myself and my flatmate have made in a joint house resolution, is to stop watching Dave. I'm referring to the television channel, not an attention seeking mutual friend called David we may have (just in case we have any attention seeking friends called David who infer this from my ramblings). There's nothing wrong with Dave the channel, in itself, the problem is that generally speaking in our flat the phrase "there's nothing on the telly" means that it's neither 'Qi' or 'Have I Got News For You' on Dave, which seems to be all we ever watch of an evening now. I mean 'Mock the Week' is ok, but who needs to see a repeat of it? And as for 'Man vs Food', in my current obese post-Christmas state there's the very real and present danger that I might mistake the television for a mirror and that will be depressing for everyone. I should of course say there is nothing wrong watching 'Have I Got News For You' and 'Qi'. It's just that it's all I ever seem to watch, I score 500 points on each edition of 'Qi' because I've heard the answer to every question at least a dozen times. At social occasions I can't comment on the latest film releases, television programmes or DVDs I've watched but I can recite verbatim the wisdom of Stephen Fry. For example did you know that the word Trivia comes from the Latin words Tri meaning three, and Via meaning roads? And refers to locations in Ancient Rome where three roads met and people came to discuss gossip, hence Trivia. It's interesting, but after about three minutes of facts like that, people tend to find me a bit weird and wander off. And I end up spending the rest of the party wondering if there's time to get home and catch 'Qi' on Dave. 'Have I Got News For You' is also great but having seen the same episodes week in week out my sense of the timing of current affairs is completely screwed. I think Colonel Gaddafi died every week for the last two years, and the G4S bungling of the Olympic security staffing contract has turned into an ongoing soap opera; albeit one with a rather repetitive plot.

So with a stack of unwatched and unwrapped DVDs going unloved in the flat, we've banished Dave from our viewing schedule so that we can set to work broadening our cultural horizons. Or watch the 'Qi' DVD Series Box Set. No we mustn't, it must be new programmes, new experiences. Well we'll start with the DVDs we've watched before, I mean we don't want to get too adventurous at this early stage in the year.

Best of luck with your New Year's Resolutions, I'll try and get round to keeping you updated with mine. That's if I manage to write another blog this year, there is a new series of 'Have I Got News For You' starting on Dave soon, so I might be busy.

114.2 2013 Resolutions Update

Back in Update 93, a terrifyingly long time ago, well actually this time last year (as you'd expect), I wrote my resolutions for 2013. So now it's time to look over the distressing failure that was 2013 and try and see what we can salvage from the wreckage. So here are the eight resolutions...

2013 Resolution 1: To Paint at Least Five Pieces of Terrain

On the plus side we can start with some good news. Resolution 1 was a simple one to paint five pieces of terrain. And this one I actually managed painting three Citadel Woods and three Citadel Hills, giving me a nice smattering of terrain so my home table top is no longer barer than Harry Hill's head.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2982.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3072.jpg)

You can see more on this in Update 102 and 104, should you so wish.

Status: SUCCESS

2013 Resolution 2: To Enter a Non-Doubles Waaagh!

Given this was a rollover resolution from 2012 I had low expectations for this, but no I actually managed it. You can have a look in Update 109 if you don't believe me. As I played in Wandsworth Waaagh! and lost – to be expected really.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3305.jpg)

Good job I entered it when I did, as that turned out to be the last ever Wandsworth Waaagh! I don't think I was the cause of this decision, but I did get hideously drunk and flash my genitals to everyone there. Oh no wait, that was a deeply disturbing dream I had, no more Brie before bedtime.

Status: SUCCESS

2013 Resolution 3: To Carry on Blogging

This is a bit of a trickier one to judge, I mean on the face of it this blog is still here and I am writing today a year later. But we had a bit of a wibbly patch in the middle, there were often long gaps between posts and you'd be forgiven for thinking this blog had died on several occasions. There's a variety of tedious reasons why, despite what you may suspect nothing to do with Warhammer or Games Workshop fatigue. A pinch of crappy work life, a smattering of busier social life (unlikely I know), half a pound of enthusiasm failure, and some frustration with lack of space for new painted models combined to make 2013 a rocky hobby and blogging year. So we'll go for Partial Success as it's a bit of both.

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

2013 Resolution 4: To Buy No More than I Paint

I had confidence going into this one; sadly it turned out to be rather misplaced, as I did not make this achievement. I tend to count my models using the seventh edition Warhammer rules for unit strength so I can weight models like cavalry, models and chariots that require a bit more effort than an infantry model. It's not perfect, and I have to be creative for Warhammer 40,000 models, but given it's the same counting system for purchases and models painted it all seems fair.

Using the Unit Strength counting system I bought 221 models and painted 162 models, or if you prefer in points terms it's 5,114 against 3,287 points – still not a great comparison. In my defence I was very lucky to be given a lot of models for birthday and Christmas which accounted for over half of what I obtained. The rest was me buying Ultramarines and an excited splurge on High Elves when the new book came out. Sadly I couldn't really maintain the motivation to get them all painted! Oh well. I did manage a smattering of High Elves, a January burst of Beastmen which finished the army and a reasonable quantity of Ultramarines.

Status: FAILED

2013 Resolution 5: Complete The Tale of Gamers – Ultramarines

I know, I know, I failed this. I ran out of steam I couldn't keep up and I didn't have a big reservoir of Ultramarine models to draw from, which with a few cash flow issues meant I just couldn't keep up.

But in fairness the target was 1,750 point painted Warhammer 40,000 army and I currently have a painted army just shy of 1,200 points. I came a lot further than many did and though I didn't finish it I'm going to count this as not too bad given the problems I faced.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2965.jpg)

Actually I've painted a few more bits since then, but this is the most up to date shot my lazy self could find!

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

2013 Resolution 6: Learn to Play Warhammer 40,000

There's nothing to see here, move along please.

Yeah I've had a few introductory games and read through the most basic rules, but the suggestion that I know how to play the game is a blatant lie. The problem I found is that having focused my army solely on the basic core stuff I was obliterated by heavy weapons that I didn't have any models for, nor know how they work. Which rather than inspiring me to paint and play more just annoyed me!!

Status: FAILED

2013 Resolution 7: Revisit my Warriors of Chaos

Well... does painting a Shaggoth count? Don't get me wrong it's a lovely Shaggoth, but that's all I got done.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3261.jpg)

I've got a bigger stockpile of Warriors of Chaos models now to accompany the new book, a lot are built and there's a handful of bits nearly finished so fingers crossed 2014 could be the year of the Warriors.

Status: FAILED

2013 Resolution 8: Finish my 6th Edition Dwarfs

Hahahahaha. Nothing not a single Dwarf has been touched with a paintbrush this year. Probably the biggest fail of the lot.

Status: FAILED

That gives a total of 2 Successes, 2 Partial Success and 4 big Fat Fails. Given 2013 probably saw my biggest hobby wobble since I returned to Warhammer several years ago that probably should have been a lot worse. So I don't feel too bad.

114.3 2014 Resolutions Update

So all that leaves is to assemble a set of resolutions for 2014, these will probably be a little more modest than 2013's just because I don't seem to fancy spreading my wings as wide this year but we will see.

2014 Resolution 1: Sort my Armies into my New Storage Unit

A big success for 2013 is that I got a brand new storage unit for my painted models, which I intend to show off on this very blog in the not too distant future. I'm using the opportunity of moving my armies into it, as a chance to tidy up any damage they've suffered and make up missing movement trays for the units that are without. So although this seems a simple task, it is a little more involved than first implied, but I do hope to finish it soon!

2014 Resolution 2: Club Attendance: Minimum Once a Month

My life is such that I am never going to be popping down to the club twice a week on a long term basis I'm afraid. But I do hope that I won't disappear for months on end. I'm going to set myself the rather modest task of visiting a minimum of once a month – hopefully more on many months. But I think just not forgetting about it totally would be a good start.

2014 Resolution 3: Painting Warriors of Chaos: Complete Wish List

Bar going off on hobby wobbles in response to Games Workshop's release schedule I want 2014 to be the year of the Warriors of Chaos. They're a good army that I enjoy and have neglected for too long. I am going to be a bit ambitious and set myself a full wish list here. Most of the models I already own so it's just about knuckling down and getting on with it. Here's the target I'm setting:


It's a long list, I freely admit that, but with a lot of it at least part tackled I am hoping I can get that all done.

2014 Resolution 4: Painting High Elves: Complete New Army Additions

Anyone who knows me, knows I have a vast High Elf army, I'm not sure why but despite loving the new models I've struggled to get many painted up. The Sisters of Avelorn being the only real success here. So in 2014 I want to see a minimum of one of each of the new kits in my army (not necessarily all the options but hopefully all of the kits).

2014 Resolution 5: Update the Blog: At least twice a month

So the blog sort of survived 2013, I wouldn't mind a little more of a flourish come 2014, so I am going for the modest(ish) task of at least two updates a month for the blog – or 24 this year (in fairness technically just doing another advent calendar would count), but I am hoping to get a little more regularity back into my rants.

2014 Resolution 6: Finish Ultramarine Army to 2,000 points

Despite all the evidence to the contrary I have enjoyed painting up the Ultramarines this year, and I am hoping I can finish the Tale of OG Gamers, admittedly way later than anticipated but better late than never. I have an Assault Squad, Vindicator and Predator tank all ready to assemble, and given they seem exciting on the battle field they may inspire me to paint the remaining 800 points I need to do.

2014 Resolution 7: Learn to play Warhammer 40,000

This one is straight from 2013, and it's a simple one to be confident enough to get through a game of Warhammer 40,000 – which means finishing reading the rule book and getting a lot more practice games in. I know what I must do. I will!

2014 Resolution 8: Paint at least one Dwarf and one Beastmen model

This is a minor one I know, but I want to dip my hand in my old favourite armies, even if just for variety. So as a minimum I want to paint at least one Dwarf and one Beastmen model this year. Just one. While the Beastmen are pretty much all done I have a few odd models kicking around, and an urge just to finish off the few Special Characters I never got round to doing. The Dwarfs may get some new releases this year, but I am not that bothered really about new models, it would just be nice to paint a beard this year!

2014 Resolution 9: Paint at least three items of terrain, including one I have built myself

And finally I can't forget the terrain, I've a couple of ideas for building my own terrain pieces this year. So it would be nice to try one. And while I've enjoyed painting the forests and hills this year, I think 2014 needs to see my battlefield gain some buildings. I'm aiming for three pieces of terrain, one of which being my own creation.

Phew! Perhaps it's too long a list who knows? Hopefully we'll still be here in 2015 to review the nine and see if we made it!!

114.4 Get in Touch

All that leaves is for me to be the last person to wish you a Happy New Year. Why not make it your resolution to keep up to date with my blog and comment more?!

As always I am on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've been shocked by just how much Christmas chocolate I've had. I have a battle report brewing for Update 115 so fingers crossed you'll be reading that soon!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 13, 2014, 08:36:23 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 115 The Further Adventures of Sorcerer Lord Barlow Monday 13th January 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

115.1 Ogfort Battle 3 - Introduction

There's no reason why you should have been keeping up to date with my Warhammer Campaign on-goings, a number of the competitors can't even be bothered to keep up with campaign. I say with an impish grin so no one can hate me!

Anyway back in Update 111 I introduced you to Sorcerer Lord Barlow and my Tzeentch Warriors of Chaos army, as they fought on behalf of The Lord of Cowell for the armies of Ogfield, in our bid to capture Ogfort. Yes, there's too many proper nouns in that sentence, but it's recap – now get out of my head critical reader.

In Update 112 I fought valiantly and lost to the forces of The Empire during Round 1, in Update 113 I explained how I didn't turn up for Round 2 thereby scoring my best result ever in the campaign so far, now in Update 115 I tell you what happened in Round 3. I did turn up for this battle so this blog post will probably be longer than you hoped for. Sorry.

Here's Pip's background fluff to get you in the mood before my madness takes over:

Having recaptured the villages seized by Oggalyn's raiders, Ogfried's forces seek to break the roving bands of marauders entirely. Hunting down the surviving warbands, they are given orders to capture or slay the enemy's leaders and banner-bearers, the better to break their morale and scatter their forces to the winds.

For this battle I had 2,000 points to play with and given my high level tactical acumen I made some important decision when selecting from my full army 'pool', see Update 111. Those decisions being, not to take the Marauder unit as it's really annoying to pack, and not to take the Warshrine as I haven't built it yet. Very important stuff I am sure you will agree. Rather than bore you with the details of what I took and why (because I fought the battle a while ago, and can't remember), here's the army list with some snaps to keep your eyes from getting bored during my drivel:

Sorcerer Lord Barlow

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3394.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer Lord (Lore of Tzeentch) Level 4 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch, riding Disc of Tzeentch. He has the Talisman of Preservation, Crown of Command and Scaled Skin, and wears Chaos Armour. (405 points) Yes I realised it was really stupid to give the Crown of Command to an independent character and not use its effects on a unit, but where were you telling me this when I was writing the army? Hmmmm Hmmmm Hmmm.

Louis the Sorcerous Imp

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3405.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer (Lore of Metal) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch. He has a Dispel Scroll and wears Chaos Armour. (185 points)

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3402.jpg)

Exalted Hero bearing the Battle Standard, with Mark of Tzeentch and wearing Chaos Armour. He has a Great Weapon, Helm of Many Eyes and the Dawnstone. (201 points)

Bootcamp Warriors

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3416.jpg)

15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields, and wear Chaos Armour. (285 points)

The Dogs of Tulisa

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3426.jpg)

5 Chaos Warhounds. (30 points)

John's Marauder Horsemen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3435.jpg)

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with spears and ride warhorses. (115 points)

Edward's Marauder Horsemen

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3431.jpg)

5 Marauder Horsemen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with flails and ride warhorses. (120 points)

The Knights of One Direction

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3441.jpg)

5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with Ensorcelled Weapons, wear Chaos Armour and ride barded Chaos Steeds. They bear the Blasted Standard. (280 points)

Audience Trolls

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3444.jpg)

4 Chaos Trolls with extra hand weapons. (152 points)

Shaggoth Osbourne

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3456.jpg)

Dragon Ogre Shaggoth with Great Weapon. (227 points)

Ok so it's a s**t army, but I choose a s**t starting list so what could I do?! I was drawn to face Glenn and his Orc & Goblin army which broadly consisted of the following: Black Orc Boss on Wyvern, 2 units of 20 Night Goblins, Giant, 2 units of 5 Wolfriders, a unit of 35 Squigs with handlers, a unit of 20 Orcs, a Rock Lobba, Doomdiver, Battle Standard Bearer and a unit of 8 Trolls. However not a single Shaman amongst them.

Spells wise Louis drew Searing Doom and Transmutation of Lead. Barlow got Treason of Tzeentch, Blue Fire of Tzeentch, Bolt of Change and Tzeentch's Firestorm.

So without further waffling let's get into the battle proper. I should point out that it was a simple game of Blood and Glory as we fought for Standards and General:

115.2 Ogfort Battle 3 – Battle Report

Sorcerer Lord Barlow was pleased, despite missing the recent battle due to performing his New Year celebration concert for the citizens of Ogfort, the reports were good. The other forces allied to Ogfried's banner had done well at driving out the dastardly Oggalyn Daley's troops from the villages they recaptured. The allied forces did not know the true purpose of their campaign, to ensure the Lord of Cowell's Premium Rate Summoning Line remained the primary source of entertainment in Ogford. Never the matter, if it came to it Sorcerer Lord Barlow would get Louis the Sorcerous Imp to delay the allied armies while he retreated. And if they killed Louis so be it, he wouldn't care, in fact he'd probably be pleased.

Buoyed by the success of his allies, the forces of Ogfried were to lead their armies in a glorious charge and destroy the marauding enemy forces. Lord Barlow decided to personally lead the charge and he'd informed all the troops, even John and Edward's Marauder Horsemen, that the primary objective was to destroy the banners and placards of Oggalyn Daley's forces. After all the banners were dedicated to the false gods of Abby Clancy, Susana Reid, Sophie Ellis-Bexter and the bird from Corrie and went against The Lord of Cowell's glorious plan.

Seeing a horde of green-skinned fools ahead Barlow deployed his forces. The foolish Orcs would be crushed beneath his feet, were he not standing aloft Robbie his Disc of Tzeentch.


Deployment

The Hands of Gork, (or was it Glenn?), finished deploying the Orcs with the Trolls on the extreme right, next to the Squig Horde. The artillery took up a position on the rear of the table, surrounded by Night Goblins and Wolf Riders in front. While the Orcs and remaining characters filled in the gaps.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3554.jpg)

Sorcerer Lord Barlow deployed himself on the east flank with the Knights of One Direction, despite his better judgement he deployed John & Edward's Marauder Horsemen just next to him – it was a terrible shame he would have to sacrifice them to the Night Goblins and their loonie Fanatics. And just in case they failed, the Dogs of Tulisa were there for a similar role.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3553.jpg)

On the west flank Louis the Sorcering Imp deployed with the Bootcamp Warriors, no longer trusted to help goad the Audience Trolls to battle. They were accompanied by Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer. While Sharon the Shaggoth deployed on the edge of the line in the hopes to do some horrendous damage to the Orc regiments.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3555.jpg)

Deployment ended when John & Edward's Marauder Horsemen vangaurded (not a real word!) forward to face the Night Goblins.

Turn 1

The first turn primarily consisted of Sorcerer Lord Barlow sending his troops forwards, Barlow was particularly pleased when Edward's Marauder Horsemen came close enough to one of the Night Goblin blocks to draw out three whirled madman. Finally he would be rid of the moronic Horsemen thought Barlow, however only one Fanatic made the distance, and then only scored a single hit which failed to wound. Barlow cursed loudly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3556.jpg)

With the Winds of Magic blowing very weakly all Barlow could do was cast Treason of Tzeentch on the Trolls meaning they would have to take leadership tests on their own leadership next turn.

The Orc & Goblin response is tempered when the Trolls (unsurprisingly) failed their stupidity test and one of the blocks of Night Goblins started squabbling. The Squig horde charged Edward's Marauder Horsmen, who decide that even they're not that stupid and flee through the forest, however the collide with the Fanatic they recently encountered. This time Barlow's wish was answered as the Marauders take 5 wounds, however ever mischievous Tzeentch saves Edward himself leaving the Sorcerer Lord deeply frustrated.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3557.jpg)

As the rest of the Orc & Goblin army advances the Wolf Riders use their impressive mobility to get round the rear of the Chaos lines.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3558.jpg)

The Doomdiver and the Rock Lobba both attempt to target Sorcerer Lord Barlow, but the shots scatter away leaving the spell caster unharmed.

Turn 2

The Tzeentch army continued its advance with Barlow's flank surrounding the Trolls, as Barlow recast the Treason of Tzeentch in another weak magic phase.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3559.jpg)

Otherwise the army continued its advance, while Edward continued his flight.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3560.jpg)

The Trolls stumble forward again after failing their stupidity test.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3561.jpg)

While the Wolf Riders charge into the rear of the Dogs of Tulisa.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3562.jpg)

The Doom Diver scores a direct hit on The Knights of One Direction, the Blasted Standard reduces the strength of the attack but they still take a single wound. The Dogs of Tulisa manage to score four hits on the Wolf Riders but can't score a single wound. In return three of them die and they flee, but the Wolves restrain.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3563.jpg)

Turn 3

The Audience Trolls charge the Night Goblins who stand and shoot inflicting two wounds, however they don't feel so brave when Sharon the Shaggoth also charges, fleeing and destroying their Fanatics in the process.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3565.jpg)

The Knights of One Direction and John's Marauder Horsemen charge into the Trolls.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3564.jpg)

Lord Barlow bathed in a rich Winds of Magic this time, as both him and Louis the Sorcerous Imp channel making a total of 12 Power Dice. However Louis's success is short lived when he fails to cast Transmutation of Lead on the Trolls. However Lord Barlow opens up a vast assault on the Squig horde threatening his line casting Bolt of Change and Tzeentch's Firestorm. 16 Squigs and 6 Handlers are incinerated in the carnage. The Knights of One Direction spectacularly miss the Trolls and only manage a single wound. John's Horsemen fair just as bad with only a steed causing a wound. In reply the Trolls vomit wiping out the Knights of One Direction. However the Horsmen do hold.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3566.jpg)

Despite a number of failed animosity tests, the Orcs launch a counter attack, with the Black Orc Big Boss on Wyvern and Giant charging Louis and the Bootcamp Warriors. However in a series of poor rolls the Wyvern fails to make the charge distance, and despite the presence of Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer the Bootcamp Warriors fail their terror test and flee, leaving the Giant unable to reach his foe.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3567.jpg)

The Doomdiver finally manages to make a successful strike scoring a direct hit on Sorcerer Lord Barlow, however the combination of his Tzeentch ward save and the Talisman of Preservation save all but one wound. In combat the Trolls, having recovered from vomiting over the Knights, unsurprisingly destroy John's Marauder Horsemen.

Turn 4

Desperate to kill something, anything, the Warriors of Chaos unleash a few charges with Sharon the Shaggoth charging the unit of Night Goblins that escaped her earlier, and Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer leading the Audience Trolls into one of the units of Wolfriders.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3568.jpg)

The remaining survivors of Edward's Marauder Horsmen and The Dogs of Tulisa finally make it to the safety of the board edge and scarper. However the repeated cursing of Sorcerer Lord Barlow at Louis the Sorcerous Imp for being a coward makes a difference as the Bootcamp Warriors rally.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3569.jpg)

The Winds of Magic blow an exceptionally paltry two dice, which Sorcerer Lord Barlow uses to cast the Blue Fire of Tzeentch on the Orc General in the hope of managing an assassination snipe. The random power of Tzeentch generates a pleasing six hits, but they are only Strength1, though the Wyvern does take a single wound.

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer personally kills a Wolfrider with every one of his four attacks, however this clearly doesn't inspire the Trolls who fail to score a single hit. It's still enough to send the final Wolf Rider fleeing, the Audience Trolls elect to reform and head back to the main battlefield rather than pursue.

Sharon rips apart 8 Night Goblins for no loss, but the green skins remain stubborn and refuse to flee due to the presence of their general.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3570.jpg)

The Orc & Goblin turn is relatively quiet as the Giant, Wyvern and Trolls redeploy to get a better position for later. The Orc & Goblin artillery again opens fire at Barlow, but again the shots scatter widely and miss their intended target. The only other action is that Sharon the Shaggoth kills another six Night Goblins.

Turn 5

The Warriors take an opportunity to reposition with no charges this turn. Another weak magic phase produces only three dice and Barlow is unable to cast Tzeentch's Firestorm on the Orc General. However Sharon the Shaggoth does finish off the remaining Night Goblins.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3571.jpg)

The Orcs unleash a final wave of charges with the Black Orc Big Boss on Wyvern ploughing into the Audience Trolls and the Giant engaging Sharon the Shaggoth. The Wolf Riders attempt a long charge on Sharon, which they fail, but it's simply to get them out the way so that the Trolls can charge Louis and the Bootcamp Warriors.

However before any of that can happen a lone Doom Diver hurtles towards earth from high above the battlefield. A shadow falls across Barlow getting larger and larger until boom, the Sorcerer Lord is blasted clean of his Disc. The Talisman of Preservation fails Barlow and he is slain by the falling Goblin.

Technically at this point the battle was lost as my Fortitude had dropped sufficiently low, however we decided to play out the existing combats to see how they resolved.

In combat Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer has no choice but to challenge the Black Orc Warlord, who saves the only wound Dermot can inflict. The Wyvern kills Dermot and the Audience Trolls flee but are rundown by the terrifying beast.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3572.jpg)

The Bootcamp Warriors perform appallingly only managing three wounds on the Trolls, with Louis scoring a fourth, however all of these are regenerated. The Trolls only manage two wounds in return, but it's enough to send the Warriors fleeing, however they do manage to escape being caught.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3573.jpg)

In the monster fight off, the Giant starts off by thumping the Shaggoth with his club doing an impressive five wounds. Sharon manages three wounds in return with her massive axe, but is then headbutted by the Giant taking her final wound.

Conclusion

Ok so this one was entirely my fault in that I totally messed up with the Trolls, I know they had no banner so weren't an objective and I shouldn't have charged in with the Chaos Knights. But. No don't roll your eyes. But there was a plan, and a logic to what I was doing it was just a bit misplaced. You see the Trolls to me were one of the scariest units in the army and breaking them would have opened up a flank to my attack. So I felt by casting Treason of Tzeentch meaning the Trolls had to use their own leadership, all I would need to do is beat the Trolls in one round of combat and they'd be sure to flee. So in went the Knights and the Horsemen in the flank, all mounted so no stomping. The Knights facing the bulk of the Trolls attacks having a high army save and even a 6+ ward would have reasonable protection. However I forgot about the Trolls' vomit attack and then it was all a disaster. Oops! In fairness I could have hoped for a little more damage from the Chaos Knights, and then later when the Warriors of Chaos faced the Trolls similar disaster. The most feared warriors in the Old World clearly don't like Trolls. Also a bit of magic wouldn't have gone a miss, with no magical opponents I should have dominated the magic phase but of the five phases we had, four of them had winds of only 2 or 3 power dice. Ahhhh! The one chance I did get a big fist of dice I decimated the Squig Horde – again not a points scoring unit, but a big threat to my right flank which was effectively eliminated from that assault. A couple more turns like that would have been mightily helpful!!! Of course Glenn played well, not only on the battlefield but lulling me in with a false sense of security playing the "Oh don't charge my Trolls" card, until revealing his real master plan. I am surprised I didn't see him in last week's BAFTA nominations!!!

Sorcerer Lord Barlow slowly clambered to his feet, wiping the splattered remains of dead Goblin out of his well-coiffured hair. A few feet away embedded in the ground was Robbie. Felled by a falling Goblin it was mortifying, worse even than the time Wagner got through on X Factor. Sharon the Shaggoth smacked a few Marauder Horseman around, she was in a foul mood thanks to her headache and a bump the size of a Squig on her forehead. Sorcerer Lord's anger was enormous, but he managed to contain it, the troops would not benefit from a foulmouthed outburst. Then Louis the Sorcerous Imp bounded over "I'm fine, I ran away whenever I saw danger!". It is recorded that so great was Lord Barlow's rage that his shouting could be heard reverberating in the World's Edge Mountains and all the way to the dark land of Naggaroth.

115.3 Get in Touch

As always you can get in touch and even pour scorn upon my appalling tactical prowess by leaving a comment here. I have already been harassed by a certain Tactical Pot Plant!

And as always I am on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've been getting my hobby mojo back. Hopefully in Update 116 I will have my first painted models of 2014 to show off. Try to contain yourself, no really try.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 30, 2014, 08:16:51 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 116 January Painting Corner Thursday 30th January 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

If you're expecting a humorous account of the wargamming scene, then you've clearly never read this blog before. This update I'm proudly showing off a reasonable haul of painted models that I've completed in January. So more pictures, less waffle, still the same general lack of interest. Off we go:

116.1 Chaos Warriors

Back in Update 112 I assembled a few Warriors of Chaos bits and pieces to expand my army. First up I put together a unit of 24 Chaos Warriors with halberds. As much as you may mock me, I think the Chaos Warriors should be an integral part of a Warriors of Chaos army. And while this unit comes in at a whopping 510 points, I don't always tend to field it at full strength.

Here's some finished pictures for the unit, the command group have a few bits and pieces added from the Chaos Knight kit to make them stand out. And of course I've used the Halberd upgrade pack and the Tzeentch banner pack to add some details to them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3585.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3590.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3600.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3602.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3605.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3609.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3615.jpg)

I'm pretty pleased with them. For those that care (mainly me when I'm trying to remember how I painted something), here's a painting guide!

116.2 Chaos Warriors Painting Guide

Warriors of Chaos Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3574.jpg)

Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Boots, Belts and Straps: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Cloaks: Codex Grey
Gloves: Chaos Black
Flesh (where appropriate): Tallarn Flesh
Flames: Skull White


Warriors of Chaos Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3575.jpg)

Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Base: Baneblade Brown
Skulls/Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Boots, Belts and Straps: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Blue Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Cloaks: Wash Devlan Mud
Gloves: Highlight Scorched Brown
Flesh (where appropriate): Layer Dwarf Flesh
Flames: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow


Warriors of Chaos Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3576.jpg)

Wood: DONE
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Skulls/Horns: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Rakarth Flesh
Boots, Belts and Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: NONE
Blue Trim: Layer 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Cloaks: Drybrush/Layer Codex Grey
Gloves: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh (where appropriate): Wash Ogryn Flesh
Flames: Layer Golden Yellow, then layer Fiery Orange


Warriors of Chaos Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3585.jpg)

Wood: DONE
Base: Flock with Scorched Grass, then Citadel Snow, then Citadel Snow (with Skull White paint)
Skulls/Horns: Layer Bleached Bone
Boots, Belts and Straps: Highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: DONE
Light Gold Metal: DONE
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Cloaks: Drybrush/Layer Fortress Grey
Gloves: Wash Nuln Brown
Flesh (where appropriate): Highlight Elf Flesh
Flames: Highlight Blazing Orange
Eye of Tzeentch (Standard Bearer): Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Chaos Black, then washed with Gulliman Glaze


116.3 Loremaster of Hoeth

When I started my High Elves back in 7th edition I remember being slightly disappointed that the White Lions and the Phoenix Guard both had their own Special Character to lead them, whereas my personal favourite elite infantry, the Swordmasters had none. So fast forward to now and to be honest it's a surprise I left the new (by my standards anyway) Loremaster model unpainted for so long!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3627.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3631.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3632.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3635.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3639.jpg)

It's such a great dynamic model that to be honest I really didn't have to do much to make it look good! And obviously my High Elf colour scheme has been nailed over countless units so there wasn't much to decide upon! I did however paint one side of his cloak in a dark blue pattern covered with stars to illustrate the character's importance – I gave Teclis a similar cloak when I painted him way back in Update 85.

The only other thing of note is the ball of magic which I fancied painting a cool green. For me a bright red fireball felt too violent, and having used blue and yellow on the model, I felt green-turquoise was the next option. I tried to do a little bit of source lighting on his hand – though I suspect that may just look like I was sloppy with the green brush!!! I also washed the ball of energy with a very thinned down wash of Mithril Silver which adds a bit of sparkle to the ball and hopefully makes it look less like a squid – though it may just look like a wet squid now.

As before a painting guide for my reference alone! Stop moaning.

116.4 Loremaster of Hoeth Painting Guide

Loremaster of Hoeth Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3577.jpg)

Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Leather: Scorched Brown
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Ruins: Calthan Brown
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Dark Blue Cloth: Necron Abyss
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Plume:  1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Magic Ball: Knarloc Green


Loremaster of Hoeth Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3578.jpg)

Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Base: Baneblade Brown
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Dark Blue Cloth: Layer Regal Blue
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Plume:  Dryrbush 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then Drybrush Ice Blue
Magic Ball: Hawk Turquoise


Loremaster of Hoeth Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3579.jpg)

Flesh: Wash Ogyrn Flesh
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White
Dark Blue Cloth: Layer 4:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue, then layer 3:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Plume:  Dryrbush 1:1(1:1 Skull White/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then Drybrush 1:1 Skull White/Ice Blue
Magic Ball: Highlight 2:1 Hawk Turquoise/Scorpion Green, then highlight 1:1 Hawk Turquoise/Scorpion Green


Loremaster of Hoeth Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3627.jpg)

Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Base: Flock Glade Grass
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Ruins: Drybrush Rakarth Flesh, then drybrush Bleached Bone
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Dark Blue Cloth: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue, then highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Plume:  DONE
Magic Ball: Highlight 2:1 Scorpion Green/Hawk Turquoise, then highlight 3:1 Scorpion Green/Hawk Turquoise, then highlight Turquoise


Details
Eyes: Paint Chaos Black, then dot Skull White
Gems: Paint Chaos Black, then highlight Scab Red (or Necron Abyss), then highlight Red Gore (or Regal Blue), then highlight Blood Red (or Ultramarines Blue), then highlight Blazing Orange (or Enchanted Blue), the dot Skull White
Cloak (Stars): Outline Shadow Grey, then highlight Ice Blue, then highlight Skull White
Magic Ball: Wash watered down Mithril Silver


116.5 Chaos Warshrine

Fans of my campaign featuring Sorcerer Lord Barlow, last featured in Update 115, will know that I promised myself I'd paint up a Chaos Warshrine in time for the end of the campaign. Well pleasingly thanks to the general lethargy of the other campaign members in getting their games played! (Jokes, hehehehe, don't hit me! Please!) I've had enough time to get it finished off.

Most people know my Warriors of Chaos army is all in Tzeentch affair – a decision made before Gateway and stackable Ward saves for shield armed Warriors, before you judge. And so, given the Warshrine is a centrepiece of model, I really wanted to make sure I added a Tzeentch flair to it.

Fortunately the bestiary section of Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos provides some specific details on what a Warshrine dedicated to each of the Chaos Gods would look like. Quoting directly from page 43:

A Chaos Warshrine's outward appearance often reflects the persona of the deity to which it is dedicated. The Warshrines of Khorne are great constructs of brass and blades that constantly run with rivulets of blood, their every spike adorned with the rune-etched skull of a powerful enemy warrior. Brilliant so a Khorne Warshrine would be easy to make by painting brass with blood splatter and adding spare skulls and spikes. Reading on...

Those dedicated to Slaanesh are gilded carriages of scented silk, wax and human flesh, draped in the still-living skins of those whose organs have been offered to the Dark Prince. A little bit trickier but I reckon adding the various spare body parts with flesh on you can find on a lot of sprues would do that job, plus a few more decadent colours should work. Reading on...

Warshrines of Nurgle are fouler still, heaped high with flyblown offal and stinking waste that is host to unimaginable parasites and plagues. A Nurgle Warshrine would be easy then, rotting flesh colours, adding some piles of green stuff as bits of dung. I said easy, not pleasant. Can't wait to find out how a Tzeentch shrine should look...

The Warshrines consecrated to the Changer of Ways are the strangest of all, their frames adorned with silver bells, caged dragonflies and crystalline bones to tinkle and chime with the music of the stars. Oh. How the sodding hell am I supposed to convert that? Plus doesn't it sound a bit like a baby's mobile that you'd hang over a cot?!

Anyway despite the challenges presented above, here's what I've come up with:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3657.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3655.jpg)

I added a few Tzeentch details to it, as well as my usual colour scheme. I tried to replicate the talk of magical "crystals" by adding these hanging from the chassis of the Warshrine:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3664.jpg)

These are icicles from the Northern Wastes basing kit, which I've washed with either blue, yellow or purple – the colours of Tzeentch. The wash didn't take brilliantly well, but I found a couple of coats and then allowing the icicles to dry upside down (blu-tacking them to the base of a shelf like stalactites) worked well. To be honest they're pretty hard to see what with all the other detail so it probably wasn't worth it, but I know they are there!!!

I've also added some Tzeentch scripture to the book on the altar:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3680.jpg)

And in addition to the large Tzeentch symbol on the column I added smaller symbols on to the flaming lanterns (covering up the symbols of the other heathen Chaos Gods, see Update 112).

The Slaughtermaster gained a tattoo:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3681.jpg)

I painted the brutish creatures holding the shrine in a Tzeentchy purple:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3689.jpg)

The impish character on top of the column has been painted a blue colour. Is he real or is he stone? I'm not quite sure!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3669.jpg)

And finally I added a few Pink Horrors, repeating my occasional army of theme of mischevious Pink Horrors, this time clambering over the Warshrine.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3667.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3675.jpg)

All of this hopefully adds to the Tzeentch madness. And I have to say I really like the way the model has come out, it definitely dwarfs pretty much everything else in my Warriors army (actually it dwarfs every model I've ever built, it's even taller than the Ghorgon/Cygor kit)
and I'm hoping I've captured the spirit of Tzeentch with it?! Kudos to the sculptor, as I thought this kit was going to be a bugger to assemble, particularly all the sub-assemblies, but they go together really well. My only tip being to turn the Warshrine chassis upside down and glue on the brutes first before basing, rather than trying to line them up on the base! Here's a painting guide for you to ignore, I apologise in advance cos it's fecking massive, but there were lots of things to paint!!

116.6 Warshrine Painting Guide

Warshrine Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3580.jpg)

Altar
Stone: Stormvermin Fur
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Book Cover: Necron Abyss
Book Pages: Steel Legion Drab
Bookmark: Liche Purple


Slaughtermaster
Black Cloth: Chaos Black
Leather: Scorched Brown
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Trim: Necron Abyss
Hair: Chaos Black
Bone: Steel Legion Drab


Column
Stone: Stormvermin Fur
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Imp: Necron Abyss
Imp Pattern: Hormagaunt Purple
Imp Tongue: Hormagaunt Purple
Imp Horns: Chaos Black
Tzeentchian Trim: Necron Abyss
Book Pages: Steel Legion Drab
Bookmark: Warlock Purple
Flames: Skull White
Smoke: Skull White
Coal: Chaos Black
Candle: Kommando Khaki
Bone: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh


Column
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Tzeentchian Trim: Necron Abyss
Coal: Black
Flames: Skull White
Bone: Steel Legion Drab


Creatures
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Flesh: Astronomacian Grey
Cloth: Steel Legion Drab


Warshrine Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3581.jpg)

Altar
Stone: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Book Cover: Layer Regal Blue
Book Pages: Layer Baneblade Brown
Bookmark: Highlight Hormagaunt Purple


Slaughtermaster
Black Cloth: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Codex Grey, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Codex Grey
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Hair: Highlight Scorched Brown
Bone: Wash Nuln Oil


Column
Stone: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Imp: Layer Regal Blue
Imp Pattern: Highlight 1:1 Hormagaunt Purple/Warlock Purple, then highlight 1:2 Hormagaunt Purple/Warlock Purple
Imp Tongue: Highlight 1:1 Hormagaunt Purple/Warlock Purple, then highlight 1:2 Hormagaunt Purple/Warlock Purple
Imp Horns: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Tzeentchian Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Flames: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Smoke: Wash 1:1 Drakenhof Nightshade/Leviathan Purple
Coal: Highlight Red Gore
Candle: Layer Bleached Bone
Bone: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh


Shrine
Stone: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Tzeentchian Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Coal: Highlight Red Gore
Flames: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Bone: Wash Nuln Oil


Creatures
Silver Metal: Wash Asurmen Blue
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Wash Leviathan Purple
Cloth: Layer Baneblade Brown


Warshrine Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3582.jpg)

Altar
Stone: Drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Book Cover: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Book Pages: Highlight Bleached Bone
Bookmark: Wash Leviathan Purple


Slaughtermaster
Black Cloth: Highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Codex Grey
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Hair: Highlight Bestial Brown
Bone: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh


Column
Stone: Drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Imp: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Imp Pattern: Highlight Warlock Purple
Imp Tongue: Highlight Warlock Purple
Imp Horns: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Tzeentchian Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Flames: Layer Golden Yellow, then layer Fiery Orange
Smoke: Highlight 1:1 Skull White/Fortress Grey
Coal: Highlight Blazing Orange, then highlight Fiery Orange
Candle: Highlight Skull White
Bone: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then highlight Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh


Shrine
Stone: Drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Tzeentchian Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Coal: Highlight Blazing Orange, then highlight Fiery Orange
Flames: Layer Golden Yellow, then layer Fiery Orange
Bone: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then highlight Rakarth Flesh


Creatures
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Flesh: Layer watered down Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Cloth: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki


Warshrine Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3657.jpg)

Altar
Stone: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Book Cover: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Book Pages: Detail Scorched Brown, then Highlight Snakebite Leather
Bookmark: Highlight Warlock Purple


Slaughtermaster
Black Cloth: Highlight Codex Grey, then wash Nuln Oil
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Bone: Highlight Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White


Column
Stone: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Imp: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue, then highlight Enchanted Blue
Imp Pattern: Highlight 1:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink
Imp Tongue: Highlight 1:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink
Imp Horns: Highlight Bleached Bone
Tzeentchian Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Flames: Highlight Blazing Orange
Smoke: Highlight Skull White
Coal: Highlight Golden Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Skull White, then tidy up coals Chaos Black
Candle: DONE
Bone: Highlight Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh


Shrine
Stone: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Wood: NONE
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Tzeentchian Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Coal: Highlight Golden Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Skull White, then tidy up coals Chaos Black
Flames: Highlight Blazing Orange
Bone: Highlight Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White


Creatures
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White, then glaze 1:1 Leviathan Purple/Gulliman Blue
Cloth: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone


Details

Altar
Metalwork Eyes: Scab Red, then layer Red Gore, then layer Blood Red, then layer Blazing Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then highlighted Chaos Black
Page Header: Regal Blue, then highlight Enchanted Blue, then highlight 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then detail Shining Gold


Slaughtermaster
Eyes: Chaos Black, then dot Skull White
Blood: Scab Red, then layer Red Gore, then Blood Red
Tattoos: Outline Scorched Brown, highlight Chaos Black


Column
Tzeentch Eye: Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Chaos Black, then washed with Gulliman Glaze
Large Creature Eyes: Scab Red, then layer Red Gore, then layer Blood Red, then layer Blazing Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then highlighted Chaos Black
Creature Eye: Blood Red, then Blazing Orange
Head Eye: Chaos Black, then dot Skull White
Candle Flame: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then Sunburst Yellow, then Golden Yellow, then Fiery Orange, then Blazing Orange


Shrine
Tzeentch Eye: Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Chaos Black, then washed with Gulliman Glaze
Metalwork Eyes: Scab Red, then layer Red Gore, then layer Blood Red, then layer Blazing Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then highlighted Chaos Black


Creatures
Eyes: Blood Red, then highlight Blazing Orange, then (large eye only) highlight Fiery Orange, then (large eye only) dot Chaos Black
Warts: 1:1 Dark Flesh/Blood Red, then dot Bubonic Brown


Pink Horrors
Skin: Basecoat: Warlock Purple, then layer 1:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer Tentacle Pink, then wash dilute Carroburg Crimson, then layer Tentacle Pink, then highlight 1:1 Tentacle Pink/Bleached Bone (*relayered some of the darkest recesess 2:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink, as was unhappy with some layering)
Tongue: Liche Purple, then layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Agrax Earthshade/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Silver Metal: Chainmail, then wash Drakenhoff Nightshade, then highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Tin Bitz, then Burnished Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz, then Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flames: Skull White, then layer Bad Moon Yellow, then Sunburst Yellow, then Golden Yellow, then Fiery Orange, then Blazing Orange
Claws & Teeth: Chaos Black, then highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Feather: Iyanden Dark Sun, then layer Golden Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow, then wash Ogryn Flesh, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Stone: Charadon Granite, then drybrush Tau Sept Ochre, then selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey, then drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab, then wash Nuln Oil, then layer Baneblade, then layer Rakarth Flesh, then highlight Bleached Bone
Eyes: Paint Chaos Black, then dot Blood Red
Tzeentch Eye: Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Chaos Black, then washed with Gulliman Glaze


Other Details
Crystals: Wash Gulliman Blue or Leviathan Purple or Lamenters Yellow
Chains: Chainmail, then wash Drakenhoff Nightshade, then highlight Mithril Silver
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab, then wash Nuln Oil, then layer Baneblade, then layer Rakarth Flesh, then highlight Bleached Bone


116.7 Ultramarines

Well done if you made it this far down the blog. Seriously, you've done well!!

Now there's every chance you've forgotten I am painting an Ultramarine army, I know I have. But in a bid to pretend I'm still painting them, I have painted this one Terminator I found in a box (back in Update 112). So there we go, that means as long as I paint one more Space Marine model in the next 6 months, I can still claim to be working on an Ultramarines army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3647.jpg)

Which means January's model total is:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3694.jpg)

Not too shabby for a self-confessed procrastinator!!

116.8 Get in Touch

Remember you can get in touch and tell my painting is sh*t, or my blogs are too long by replying here. And as always I am on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where this week I've had my hand forced into collecting Dark Elves. Hopefully in Update 117 I will have played Round 4 of the current campaign. Until then, goodbye!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on January 30, 2014, 10:00:06 am
Blimey, an actual constructed and painted Warshrine! I never thought I'd see the day...

Next thing you'll be telling me that you're planning on actually using it an actual game or something.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on January 30, 2014, 11:53:04 am
Surely nobody is that mad...there again
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 31, 2014, 11:07:16 am
In fairness there was a very small window between model coming out, and rules being replaced with less good ones! I would never have got it painted by then.

Of course I will be using it!  :1st:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 18, 2014, 08:20:56 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 117 The Traditional Anti-Valentine's Rant, or is it? Tuesday 18th February 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

I don't usually write non-gaming posts on here anymore, but somehow it seemed fitting and traditional to present the annual Valentine's moan...

117.1 Anti-Valentine's

Tradition dictates that at this time of year I unleash some vitriolic rant but how awful Valentine's Day is. How it's a miserable festival that prays on the insecure and the lonely. How it's about as tactful as having Employment Day where we laugh at the jobless. And that single people want Valentine's Day about as much as people in Somerset want a rain dance.

At this time of year I can usually be found garrotting teddy bears holding hearts, and wishing slow and painful deaths upon past love interests which never worked out (as in they weren't interested in me, particularly when I started stalking them). However this year something unbelievable has happened, something that will shock you to your very core, something so mind blowing that bits of your brain will be splattered about across the carpet. I am actually going out with someone. I'll say that again in case you don't believe me, I am going out with someone. Yes a real human being of their own free will is going out with me. I haven't had to resort to imprisoning anyone in my purpose built dungeon. (Shit, that's a point, what am I going to do with that now?).

I probably should have warned you to sit down before springing such an earth-shattering revelation upon you. In fact the universe has recoiled in such horror at the thought of me being in a relationship, that sink holes have opened up across the land and a series of apocalyptic storms have engulfed the country. I literally can only apologise to those whose houses have been flooded. We best hope by the time the vote on Scottish independence arrives I return to being single, lest Hadrin's Wall collapses into a deep crevice and molten magma spews up to engulf the border.

You're probably wondering how I tricked someone into going out with me. I know I certainly am. While all right thinking people see a hideous blob of self-loathing neurosis, they apparently see an attractive sociable person they want to spend time with. And apparently they think I'm funny, I know, and they've read my blog before?! There is literally is no accounting for taste, but we probably should all be grateful for the potential to meet people with exceptionally low standards.

The upshot of this unexpected, nay miraculous success in the dating department is interesting. You see for countless long lonely years I've always hated loved up couples and everything they stand for. Yet know I find myself becoming one of those types of people. And rather than relinquish my hatred of the happy in some epiphany moment, I find I just hate what I have become. Cutesie sweet little pet names between loving partners have always been more revolting than an all-expenses paid holiday to Eric Pickles' toilet bowl. They still are nauseating except now I have a cutsie name for my partner. And I enjoy using it. Except there in the back of my mind is my former self looking at me, judging me, appalled by what I've become - a sell-out.

The thought of couples having a romantic meal for two still brings a taste of vile to my throat and urge to punch them. But now I have romantic meals for two (with my partner not on my own like some pathetic fat slug - like I used to), and I like them. But part of me is fighting an irresistible urge to punch myself in the face. Which I imagine would probably ruin dinner.

I mean the other day I seriously considered kissing him in public. An act, that if I saw anyone else doing, would cause me to convulse with rage before metaphorically bursting into flames. I've found it's generally easier for me and much more convenient for bystanders if I only metaphorically burst into flames, rather than doing the full thing. By the time the fire brigade have been called, various sprinkler systems deployed and my clothes reduced to a smoking chargrilled mess it can turn into a lot of hassle. So now when I am in public, I find myself torn between the romantic urge to give my partner a well-meaning peck on the cheek and wanting to stick my head in a paper shredder for even thinking about committing the cardinal sin of a public display of affection.

I've also become one of those awful people who now never sees any of his friends because he's seeing his other half. In fairness before this is thrown against me as being a loved up person, I think this is less me spending every waking (and sleeping) moment with my other half. More I only have a very limited energy capacity for social interaction with other humans, so by the time I've spent the appropriate quota on my love life I have virtually none left.

Sat on the Tube at the weekend I saw a couple having a blazing row followed by a massive silent sulking session. All the while holding a single red rose - which made the thing all the more funny. I internally chuckled away, but a part of me got sad at the thought I could end up having a blazing row with my partner. What a sick sappy pathetic human I've become. Incidentally we haven't had our first significant row yet, though that may all change when they read this edition of my blog.

Worst and most damning of all, I caught myself looking through a selection of Valentine's cards in a non-ironic way. I actually found some of them cute and picked out one I liked, rather than wanting to set fire to the whole store.

I've entered an undiscovered country, where bitterness is no longer my constant companion. It's weird, part of me misses him, part of me hates what I've become. Quite frankly the whole thing makes me feel quite unwell, the only cure may be to go and murder a teddy.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 18, 2014, 08:26:36 am
Oh how you've changed.

:endit:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 19, 2014, 12:44:16 pm
I know. I am sorry I have let you all down.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on February 19, 2014, 07:53:24 pm
Where's the painting guide for the rose?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on February 20, 2014, 01:10:43 pm
I miss the mutilated bears.....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 22, 2014, 01:51:33 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on February 20, 2014, 01:10:43 pm
I miss the mutilated bears.....

So do I.

Got a blog ready for Monday, I promise no mentions of being happy. Instead lots of Warhammer - oh everyone hates that too  :sad;m:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 24, 2014, 08:23:18 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 118 Sorcerer Lord Barlow the Next Chapter Monday 24th February 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

118.1 Ogfort Battle 4 - Introduction

Last time we chatted battles was Update 115, when Sorcerer Lord Barlow had just been squashed by a Doomdiver in his bid to capture the city of Ogfort for his master the Lord of Cowell. If that means nothing to you, you might need to go back and read some background. Anyway it was time for Round 4, the competition was heating up as we approached the final battle.

Here's Pip's background fluff to get you in the mood before my madness takes over:

North of Ogfort, an ancient network of stone circles marks the nexus of arcane power in the region. Control of the power harnessed by the Ogham stones may well decide the fate of Ogfort - and so Oggalyn dispatches her swiftest forces to seize them with fire and sword.

For this battle I had 2,500 points to play the objective being to get my wizards into a stone circle in the centre of the table. Non wizards couldn't enter, and wizards in the circle gained a 3+ ward save against attacks from outside the stone circle. The winner would be the person with the most magic levels in the stone circle at the end of Turn 6.

As a reminder, lest you need one, my army had to be chosen from my army 'pool', see Update 111. My initial decision was to take both Sorcerer Lord Barlow on Disc, and my Level 2 Daemon Prince who both had the option to fly in and take the circle early on. But sadly my lord allowance wasn't high enough for both. Dam it. Whilst having a tough Daemon Prince in the circle appealed to me, I felt I need my Level 4 wizard to ensure I had sufficient wizard levels on the table to at least offer a challenge! The rest of my army selection was based on the decision to have tough units to hold up the enemy as and where needed if the opportunity came to lock an enemy wizard in combat outside the circle that would be amazing. Otherwise it was all down to the wizards. Here's my army selection taken from my main list. Feel free to skim over, if you've already seen it. But it's a nice excuse for pictures of my army!!

Sorcerer Lord Barlow

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3394.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer Lord (Lore of Tzeentch) Level 4 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch, riding Disc of Tzeentch. He has the Talisman of Preservation, Crown of Command and Scaled Skin, and wears Chaos Armour. (405 points) Yes I realised it was really stupid to give the Crown of Command to an independent character and not use its effects on a unit, but where were you telling me this when I was writing the army? Hmmmm Hmmmm Hmmm.

Louis the Sorcerous Imp

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3405.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer (Lore of Metal) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch. He has a Dispel Scroll and wears Chaos Armour. (185 points)

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3402.jpg)

Exalted Hero bearing the Battle Standard, with Mark of Tzeentch and wearing Chaos Armour. He has a Great Weapon, Helm of Many Eyes and the Dawnstone. (201 points)

Bootcamp Warriors

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3416.jpg)

15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields, and wear Chaos Armour. (285 points)

Marauder Auditionees

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3421.jpg)

40 Chaos Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields. (390 points)

The Knights of One Direction

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3441.jpg)

5 Chaos Knights with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with Ensorcelled Weapons, wear Chaos Armour and ride barded Chaos Steeds. They bear the Blasted Standard. (280 points)

Audience Trolls

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3444.jpg)

4 Chaos Trolls with extra hand weapons. (152 points)

Shaggoth Osbourne

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3456.jpg)

Dragon Ogre Shaggoth with Great Weapon. (227 points)


Spawn Brookstein
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3460.jpg)

Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch. (70 points)

Spawn Cardle

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3464.jpg)

Chaos Spawn with Mark of Tzeentch. (70 points)

Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3472.jpg)

Chaos Giant with Mark of Tzeentch. (215 points)

I ended up drawn against Sam and his Warriors of Chaos army which consisted of a reasonably similar line up: Sorcerer Lord of Tzeentch on Disc, Nurgle Battle Standard Bearer on Daemonic Mount, Level 1 Slaanesh Sorcerer, 15x Nurgle Warriors with Halberd and Shield, 15x Khorne Warriors with extra hand weapon, 15x Slaanesh Warriors with Great Weapon, 5x Khorne Knights with Ensorcelled Weapons, 5x Nurgle Knights with lances, 5 Hounds and a Shaggoth.

Spells wise both the Level 4 Tzeentch wizards got Pink Fire of Tzeentch, Blue Fire of Tzeentch, Bolt of Change and Infernal Gateway. Louis drewSearing Doom and Transmutation of Lead. And Sam's Slaanesh Sorcerer got Slicing Shards and Hysterical Frenzy.

Now to battle!!

118.2 Ogfort Battle 4 – Battle Report

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3698.jpg)

Sorcerer Lord Barlow could feel the power coursing through his body, he couldn't work out if it was the pride he got in remembering to send the Lord of Cowell a "congratulations" card on the birth of his new Lordling or whether it was the presence of the powerful stone circles, that legend had lay to the north of Ogfort. The Lord of Cowell had instructed him to capture these as it would allow him to open a powerful gateway to the Realm of Chaos, allowing magical energy to flow and help the Lord of Cowell withdraw from his disastrous attack on the new frontier. Things had not been going well for him there.

As the Sorcerer's disc crested the hill he could see the powerful stones, there was no doubt – this was the source of the energy. The air around them tinkled and glowed in pyrotechnic swirls of colour. But what foul trickery was this, ahead of him saw a rival Chaos warband aligned to the forces of Oggalyn. Sorcerer Lord Barlow smiled as he saw the similarities in the armies. This would be no bother he thought, he would crush the worshippers of the false gods of Chaos. And if he could not, he would blame Louis the Sorcerous Imp for it – there had to be some use in bringing him along!!


Deployment

Sam deployed both his units of Knights (one containing the Battle Standard Bearer), his Khorne Warriors and his Slaanesh Sorcerer on the eastern flank. On the west was his Sorcerer Lord (played by a very flat disc!), the remaining Warriors, Hounds and the Shaggoth.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3699.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3700.jpg)

Louis the Sorcerous Imp accompanied the Boot Camp Warriors and deployed as close to the stone circle as they could, Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer led the Audience Trolls, with the Knights of One Direction, Sharon the Shaggoth and Spawn Cardle holding the eastern flank. My western flank consisted of the Marauder Auditionees, Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant, Spawn Brookstein and Sorcerer Lord Barlow.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3701.jpg)
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3702.jpg)

We both made a gentlemen's agreement not to snipe of our wizards for the first turn at least, but remember Tzeentch is a tricky one who can't be bargained with!!!

Turn 1

Sam won the first turn and his army advanced forwards, with the Slaanesh Sorcerer taking cover in some ruins, and the Tzeentch wizard lurking about out of sight. The only exception being the Shaggoth which Sam forgot to move!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3703.jpg)

The Winds of Magic blew reasonably strong with 7 power dice to 4. Sam's Tzeentch Lord cast Bolt of Change on Spawn Brokstein, but the power was too strong and he miscast. The Spawn was slain outright, and despite the presence of Sorcerer Lord Barlow and Dermot O' Battle Standard Bearer the horde of Marauders panicked and fled stopping just short of the table edge. Sam's Sorcerer survived the miscast, and tried to cast Infernal Gateway, but Barlow dispelled it.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3704.jpg)

Fortunately the Marauders regained their composure in Barlow's turn, rallying. The rest of the army repositioned to maintain a solid battleline. And Louis bailed out of the Chaos Warriors to move close to the circle.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3705.jpg)

In the magic phase it was 8 dice versus 5. Louis failed to cast Transmutation of Lead on the Khorne Warriors. Sorcerer Lord Barlow's attempt to cast Infernal Gateway was dispelled, but he did cast Blue Fire of Tzeentch on the Hounds. However a low roll for strength meant the Warhounds came out unscathed.

Turn 2

The turn began with Sam's Khorne Warriors failing to restrain and attempting a long charge on the Audience Trolls, but they failed to make it.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3706.jpg)

Sam's Chaos Knights charged Spawn Cardle.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3707.jpg)

The winds of magic yielded 6 dice to 4. The Slaanesh Sorcerer miscast Hysterical Frenzy on the Khorne Warriors and fell through a portal into the Realm of Chaos. Desperate to avoid a similar fate the Tzeentch Sorcerer declined to cast.

The Chaos Knights did appallingly in combat only managing a single wound on Spawn Cardle. He responded with four wounds, including his breath weapon. But the tough Chaos Armour saved them all. Given the Spawn being unbreakable the Chaos Knights were, surprisingly, bogged down in combat.

In response Sharon the Shaggoth and the Knights of One Direction charged in to rescue Spawn Cardle. Meanwhile the Marauder Auditionees charged the Warhounds. Despite dominating the stone circle, the magic phase was relatively weak, only allowing Sorcerer Lord Barlow to dispel Hysterical Frenzy.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3708.jpg)

The Marauder block dispatcheed the Hounds for two loses. Sam's Chaos Knights kill Spawn Cardle, and inflict a single wound on Sharon. One of Sam's Chaos Steeds manages to kill one of the Knights of One Direction. In response Sharon smashes four of Sam's Knights, but the Knights of One Direction fail to do any damage.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3709.jpg)

Sam's remaining Knight flees and escapes.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3710.jpg)

Turn 3

Sam responded by charging the Nurgle Chaos Knights into the Knights of One Direction, and the Nurgle Chaos Warriors into the Bootcamp Warriors.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3711.jpg)

In the magic phase the Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord cast Bolt of Change along the flank of the Trolls, rolling a 6 and two 5s (perilously close to a miscast). The Bolt of Change struck Dermot o'Battle Standard Bearer at Strength 10, but Tzeentch was smiling down and saved him with his 6+ Ward Save.

In the combat between the Knights, Sam's Nurgle Battle Standard Bearer challenged the Champion of the Knights of One Direction. The Battle Standard managed one wound on the Knight Champion, but Tzeentch again saved it with his 6+ Ward Save. In return the Champion did a wound on the Battle Standard Bearer. The Daemonic Mount returned the attack managing two wounds on the Chaos Champion, but one was saved by the Chaos Armour, and one by the Tzeentch Ward Save yet again!!

However the Knights of One Direction didn't follow the Champion's lead, inflicting no wounds on Sam's Nurgle Knights – who respond by killing two of the Knights of One Direction. However the Knights of One Direction roll a 4 for their break test, and refuse to run.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3712.jpg)

In the battle of the Chaos Warriors, the Bootcamp Warriors only manage to cause a single wound on the Nurgle Warriors due to their Mark of Nurgle. Sam's Nurgle Warriors inflict seven wounds on the Bootcamp Warriors but three are armour saved, and three ward saved! Resulting in a draw between the units.

Seizing the opportunity, the Marauder Auditionees charge the flank of the Nurgle Warriors.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3713.jpg)

And Sharon the Shaggoth charges the Nurgle Knights, the Audience Trolls would have joined in but failed their stupidity test despite the presence of Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3714.jpg)

In the magic phase Louis managed to cast Seering Doom on the Khorne Warriors doing a single wound. Barlow targeted the Shaggoth with Blue Fire of Tzeentch which was dispelled, and the Bolt of Change which inflicted two wounds.

Sam's Nurgle Warriors inflicted a combined total of three wounds on The Bootcamp Warriors and the Marauder Auditonees, in return they managed four kills. But what with the massed ranks disrupting the Nurgle Warriors and the flank charge, Sam's Warriors broke. They ran a mighty 10", but it was not enough to outpace the Bootcamp Warriors who pursued a mightier 12" straight into Sam's Shaggoth.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3715.jpg)

In the ongoing challenge between Sam's Nurgle Battle Standard Bearer and the Knights of One Direction Champion, inability was the key word the Standard Bearer inflicted one wound which was absorbed by the Knight's Chaos Armour. The Daemonic Steed and Champion both failed to wound, but the Champion's Chaos Steed rolled a 6 to hit and a 6 to wound, the Battle Standard Bearer failed to save with his armour and tumbled from his mount. All this gave the Knights of One Direction Champion a roll on the Eye of the Gods table (technically the Steed should of got it I guess!) granting him a 5+ Ward Save.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3716.jpg)

The rest of the Nurgle Knights kill the Knights of One Direction Standard, just leaving the victorious Champion. The Shaggoth and the Nurgle Knights exchange a wound each. It's closely fought but Sam's Knights break and escape pursuit.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3717.jpg)

Turn 4

Sam began his turn by charging the Tzeentch Warriors in against Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3718.jpg)

The Khorne Warriors again fail to restrain and charge into the Audience Trolls. And Sam's Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord charges into Louis the Sorcering Imp, within the stone circle. With Sam's only wizard engaged in combat he was unable to cast any of his spells.

In combat Wagner the Tzeentchian Giant does a swing with club move smashing three Chaos Warriors, though one is ward saved (dam Tzeentch supporting Sam as well!). Wagner suffers eight wounds in return without making a single ward save his lifeless body falls away from combat. The Tzeentch Warriors overrun into the Marauder Auditionees.

The Bootcamp Warriors do three wounds on the Shaggoth, though one is deflected by his scaly skin. In return the Shaggoth smashed four Warriors and stomps a further three, the Bootcamp Warriors, largely depleted, just hold.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3719.jpg)

In the combat with Sam's Khorne Warriors versus Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer and the Audience Trolls, Dermot personally slew two Chaos Warriors his Chaos Armour and Dawnstone protecting him from all return attacks. The Khorne Warriors manage two wounds on the Trolls which they fail to regenerate, but in return they kill seven Warriors sending them fleeing away from the Trolls.

In the stone circle Louis the Sorcerous Imp took a single wound from Sam's Tzeentch Lord on Disc and fled the stone circle allowing Sam's Lord to pursue into the flank of Sorcerer Lord Barlow.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3720.jpg)

At this point we were running very short of time to play the game, so with the rest of our armies unable to penetrate the stone circle or attack within it, we decided to just play the remaining turns out for our magic users. (Clearly I would have won with my regular army, after all I am amazing!).

Louis the Sorcerous Imp rallied just outside the Stone Circle and cast Transmutation of Lead on Sam's Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord reducing his combat skill. However it had no effect as neither of the Tzeentch Sorcerer Lords on Discs were able to wound each other.

Turn 5

Louis the Sorcering Imp re-enters the stone circle, but despite two rounds of combat the Sorcerer Lords' dance continues as not a single wound is exchanged!!!

Turn 6

In the first combat phase of Turn 6 no wounds are again struck, however in the second turn Sam's Tzeentch Lord finds a weakness in Sorcerer Lord Barlow's armour and inflicts a single wound, it's all too much for Sorcerer Lord Barlow who flees exiting the stone circle. However Sam's Tzeentch Sorcerer Lord excited by the victory is unable to restrain himself and pursues after Barlow catching him, but leaving Louis the Sorcerous Imp alone and in control of the stone circle!!!!
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3721.jpg)

Conclusion

Well that was a comical result wasn't it?! Once Barlow broke I was sure I had lost it, but no Sam's Sorcerer Lord got carried away and left Louis, of all people, to claim the victory!! Overall I thought I played reasonably well, Sam was punished with the kind of luck I usually bring to the battlefield. But I think good movement on my part allowed me to be able to bring in supporting units when Sam's charges ran aground – particularly breaking his Chaos Knights. I felt reasonably confident that had we had time to play the full battle for the remaining turns I could have ended up dominating the battle of the regular troops.

The most interesting thing about this game was, despite its magical theming, our reluctance to cast spells. Having Sam miscast in the first two turns, on relatively low rolls, and have his Slaanesh Sorcerer disappear to the Realm of Chaos we were both rather worried about losing our wizards to similar events, and so magic was rather tamed.

Anyway first victory for the forces of Team Barlow, though it was his death that bought about the win. Odd that. Onwards to the final battle.

LOUIS, LOUIS, LOUIS!! The chants continued around the camp, the victor at the Battle of the Ogfort Stones had been elevated to a new status within the army. All the Marauder Auditionees wanted to be picked by him and were fawning for his attention. Even the Audience Trolls were cheering Louis' name, though out of time and slowly. Sorcerer Lord Barlow seethed in the corner, already the Lord of Cowell had started sending his communications through Louis rather than Barlow. The final battle for Ogfort was about to begin, and Sorcerer Lord Barlow would have vengeance on all his enemies. No matter which side they were on.

118.3 Get in Touch

Feel free to get in touch, and let me know of any rules' mistakes I've made!! Always helpful.

Remember I can be found on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where you can see my latest painting updates, and poorly worded jokes.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on February 24, 2014, 12:40:11 pm
Well done Matt - glory surely awaits
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 25, 2014, 09:47:30 pm
Thank you sir. Yes I was as shocked as anyone.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 07, 2014, 07:44:25 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 119 February Painting Corner Friday 7th March 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Before you start I know, technically my blog would be topical if I rounded up what I painted in February, in February. But we are not too deep into March so I am hoping you will let me off.  As you saw back in Update 116 with January's Painting Corner this is mainly pictures, painting guides and a tiny bit of text – a lot of which I posted on Twitter early. In many senses it's a lot like Warhammer Visions, except you didn't pay £7.50 for your copy of Procrastination by Numbers and it's less useful if you're trying to learn German.

119.1 Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount

This is one of my all-time favourite Warriors of Chaos characters models, absolutely brilliant sculpt. I imagine this character silently observing the enemy position from a cliff top just before sending regiments of armour clad warriors charging down the slopes into the fight.

My Tzeentch colour scheme is pretty well refined with me painting the Lord himself in my usual blue washed silver and multiple shades of gold. I decided to paint his tentacle in the same colour as the odd Pink Horrors that appear in my army as I thought it would tie him in nicely, and contrast well with the other colours on the model. Additionally it serves as a nice homage to the old Citadel Colour Tentacle Pink.

I kept the base relatively simple with a few bits of slate and a broken Chaos icon, which I painted in Khorne brass colours to tie it in with Vilitch, the Curseling, see below.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3746.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3747.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3752.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3754.jpg)

Painting guides are for losers. But hey this is a gaming blog, so let's painting guide away!

119.2 Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount Painting Guide

Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3756.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Fur: Codex Grey
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Horse Flesh: Abaddon Black
Horse Mane: Abbadon Black
Branding: Abbadon Black
Stones: Stormvermin Fur
Tentacle: 2:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink
Khorne Metal: Tin Bitz


Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3757.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Skulls/Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Chainmail: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Blue Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Fur: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh / Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Horse Flesh: Drybrush 1:1 Abbadon Black/Chaos Grey
Horse Mane: Layer 1:1 Abbadon Black/Chaos Grey
Branding: Highlight Warlock Purple
Stones: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Tentacle: Layer 1:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer Tentacle Pink
Khorne Metal: Dwarf Bronze


Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3758.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Blue Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Fur: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Horse Flesh: Highlight Codex Grey, then highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Horse Mane: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Branding: Highlight 1:1 Liche Purple/Warlock Purple, then highlight Warlock Purple
Stones: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Tentacle: Wash dilute Carroburg Crimson
Khorne Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver


Chaos Lord on Daemonic Mount Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3746.jpg)

Base: DONE
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Fur: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Horse Flesh: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Horse Mane: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Branding: Wash Leviathan Purple
Stones: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Tentacle: Layer Tentacle Pink, then highlight 1:1 Tentacle Pink/Bleached Bone
Khorne Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver


116.3 Vilitch, the Curseling

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I love a Special Character. That said I'm still not buying the hideous Galrauch the Chaos Dragon model. So in Tzeentch terms, that pretty much leaves Vilitch, the Curseling. This is a nice model, and a very characterful sculpt in you can see Vilitch whispering in the ear of his brutish subservient brother. However there are quite a few fiddly bits that don't really enjoy being made in Finecast, if I'm honest, and it's a shame this isn't a plastic sculpt. That said I'm reasonably pleased with how it's come out, and did find that the painted model hides a lot of the casting issues I was concerned with.

Painting wise I was a real fan of the colour scheme used by the 'Eavy Metal team, so decided to try and paint my own version of the bright blue armour. Leaving my traditional Tzeentch silver and gold colours for the trim and weapons, so he remained tied into the rest of the army.  I was really pleased with how the armour came out in the end, and as you can see from the pictures below he stands out in a unit of Chaos Warriors, but doesn't look out of place. Admittedly he doesn't rank up brilliantly!

As mentioned in Update 112 I wanted Vilitch to stand astride a Khorne shield representing a rival Chaos Lord he has tricked and backstabbed – inspired by the background to Archaon in Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos. This was painted using the Khorne guide in November 2012's White Dwarf. The "organic" parts of Vilitch were inspired by the Tyranid painting guides in January 2014's White Dwarf, using the purple in the feathers to tie him into some of the other exotic models in my Warriors army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3725.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3728.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3730.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3742.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3744.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3738.jpg)

Here's the tedious/customary painting guide, during which you may notice his mace and staff broke during various stages. Admittedly this was largely due to me accidentally dropping a box on the model, and deciding it wasn't worth repairing until I finished prodding it with a brush!

119.4 Vilitch, the Curseling Painting Guide

Vilitch, the Curseling Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3759.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab
Dark Gold: Tin Bitz
Light Gold: Tin Bitz
Stone: Charadon Granite
Armour: Mordian Blue
Vilitch Body: Rakarth Flesh
Vilitch Feathers: Hormagaunt Purple
Khorne Shield: Khorne Red
Khorne Metal: Tin Bitz


Vilitch, the Curseling Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3760.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade
Skulls: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Gold: Shining Gold
Light Gold: Burnished Gold
Stone: Drybrush Tau Sept Ochre
Armour: Layer 1:1 Mordian Blue/Enchanted Blue, then layer Enchanted Blue
Vilitch Body: Wash Carroburg Crimson
Vilitch Feathers: Wash Leviathan Purple
Khorne Shield: Layer 1:1 Khorne Red/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Khorne Metal: Dwarf Bronze


Vilitch, the Curseling Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3761.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Skulls: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Dark Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Burnished  Gold/Mithril Silver
Stone: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Armour: Highlight 2:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then highlight 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Vilitch Body: Layer Rakarth Flesh, then layer 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Bleached Bone
Vilitch Feathers: Layer Hormagaunt Purple, then layer 2:1 Hormagaunt Purple/Codex Grey
Khorne Shield: Highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Wild Rider Red, then highlight Wild Rider Red
Khorne Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver


Vilitch, the Curseling Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3728.jpg)

Base: DONE
Leather: Highlight Beastial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Skulls: Highlight Bleached Bone, then 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Dark Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Light Gold: Highlight Mithril Silver
Stone: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Armour: Highlight Ice Blue
Vilitch Body: Highlight Bleached Bone, then wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Vilitch Feathers: Highlight 1:1 Hormagaunt Purple/Codex Grey, then highlight Codex Grey
Khorne Shield: Wash Bloodletter, then highlight Mithril Silver
Khorne Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver


Details
Tzeentch Eye: Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Chaos Black, then washed with Gulliman Glaze
Metalwork Eyes: Scab Red, then layer Red Gore, then layer Blood Red, then layer Blazing Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then highlighted Chaos Black


119.5 Get in Touch

In January I painted 27 models, this month I painted 2 models, fingers crossed this won't be a continuing trend for the rest of the year. If you want to give me words of encouragement or words of abuse feel free to comment on here. Remember you can always find me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where recently I've been moaning about Warhammer Visions and getting excited about The Lego Movie!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on March 07, 2014, 09:10:32 am
Love the mounted Lord Matt.

I may need to think about nicking the blue metal technique when I get around to painting Richard III and his knights.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 07, 2014, 01:22:26 pm
Quote from: roland murat on March 07, 2014, 09:10:32 am
Love the mounted Lord Matt.

I may need to think about nicking the blue metal technique when I get around to painting Richard III and his knights.

Thank you sir! I was very sceptical about Vilitch as I started, but I'm pleased with the result. Hopefully he doesn't look too much like an Ultramarine!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 17, 2014, 08:31:07 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 120 Barlow's Final Stand Monday 17th March 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

120.1 Ogfort Battle 5 - Introduction

Update 118 saw Sorcerer Lord Barlow do something deeply unexpected and shocking. He actually won a game! We'll gloss varnish over the fact that he was only due to him fleeing from the objective that Louis the Sorcering Imp snuck a victory. Say no more of that.

Anyway it was time for the final battle and a mammoth Saturday event it was. The forces of (the noble) Ogfried had been surrounded in their castle by our bitter rivals of Team Oggalyn and it could only be resolved with a mighty siege. Due to a few drop outs/stand ins, Oggalyn's army was an unlikely alliance of Warriors of Chaos, Dwarfs, Beastmen and The Empire. Whilst Sorcerer Lord Barlow was joined by an only marginally less odd alliance with some more Warriors of Chaos, Daemons of Chaos and some Lizardmen.

For this battle I had half the number of points of the besiegers meaning I could pick 1,800 points from my master army list, see Update 111. Deciding that Sorcerer Lord Battle really had to be involved in the final battle, this meant that Daemon Prince Scherzinger would have to remain on the shelf unused in this campaign – to be fair anyone who has heard her sing would probably conclude that's no bad things. Figuring that my army would benefit most from durable infantry to main the castle walls, I plumped for as much infantry as possible – and of course the Chaos Trolls for their ability to absorb a lot of damage. Points-wise this also meant that the Chaos Warshrine, that I'd used this campaign as an excuse to build, would also not see the battlefield. To be fair given the size of the model I wasn't to upset about not having to hire a truck and pack it into a case full of bubble wrap in order to get it to the club.

What that did leave made up the army list that you see below:

Sorcerer Lord Barlow

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3394.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer Lord (Lore of Tzeentch) Level 4 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch, riding Disc of Tzeentch. He has the Talisman of Preservation, Crown of Command and Scaled Skin, and wears Chaos Armour. (405 points) Yes I realised it was really stupid to give the Crown of Command to an independent character and not use its effects on a unit, but where were you telling me this when I was writing the army? Hmmmm Hmmmm Hmmm.

Louis the Sorcerous Imp

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3405.jpg)

Chaos Sorcerer (Lore of Metal) Level 2 Magic, with Mark of Tzeentch. He has a Dispel Scroll and wears Chaos Armour. (185 points)

Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3402.jpg)

Exalted Hero bearing the Battle Standard, with Mark of Tzeentch and wearing Chaos Armour. He has a Great Weapon, Helm of Many Eyes and the Dawnstone. (201 points)

Bootcamp Warriors

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3416.jpg)

15 Chaos Warriors with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields, and wear Chaos Armour. (285 points)

Marauder Auditionees

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3421.jpg)

40 Chaos Marauders with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with hand weapons and shields. (390 points)

Audience Trolls

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3444.jpg)

4 Chaos Trolls with extra hand weapons. (152 points)

Chosen of the Judge's Houses

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3450.jpg)

10 Chosen with Mark of Tzeentch and full command. They are armed with halberds and wear Chaos Armour. (260 points)

Although this in theory was a giant multi-player battle each player deployed their own troops together meaning that we had one primary opponent. And, we each had our own magic phase against our opponent rather than a collective magic phase – which worked very well keeping the game moving along speedily.

I ended up opposite Gareth's Beastmen horde 3,600 points of Beastmen primarily consisting of a massive horde of Gor with a siege tower, a horde of Bestigor with battering ram. And a veritable pile of Wargors, Bray Shamans and assorted Razorgor and Chariots.

Spells wise Barlow drew Blue Fire of Tzeentch, Tzeentch's Firestorm, Bolt of Change and Infernal Gateway. While Louis drewSearing Doom and Transmutation of Lead. The Chosen rolled on the Eye of the Gods table and were gifted with an additional attack each.

For sanity's sake this battle report mainly focuses on the results of the battle between myself and Gareth, I've tried to give a flavour of what was going on around us and the developments of the overall battle, but if I'd written down every detail we'd still be playing now!

120.2 Ogfort Battle 5 – Battle Report

Sorcerer Lord Barlow cursed how his luck had turned out, Louis the Sorcering Imp was still the hero of the camp. And now he was packed within the walls of Ogfort castle with the other stinking armies that had flocked to Ogfried's banner. Lizard creature, Deamons and a rival band of Warriors also graced the castle walls. His army had been badly depleted throughout the campaign, although on the plus side John and Edward and their Marauder Horseman seemed to have been killed. But there was still a chance to impress the Lord of Cowell, if he could hold the castle, the Premium Rate Summoning line would be installed and he would be richly rewarded. He seemed almost pleased with his position until Robbie hovered out onto the battlements and he saw the filthy horde of Beastmen facing him. As he looked down the length of the battlements it dawned on him that amongst his allies there wasn't a single bow to bring to bear. Today was going to be a difficult day.

Deployment

Sorcerer Lord Barlow took to the relative safety of one of the Castle Turrets, too high for the Beastmen to scale but giving him a commanding view of the battlefield. Meanwhile Louis, enjoying his new found popularity, joined the troops on the battlements, while Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer and the Audience Trolls waited in the courtyard in case the Beastmen broke through the defences.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3765.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3762.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3763.jpg)

Elsewhere the uneasy alliance of the Daemons and the Lizardmen controlled the eastern battlements.
(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3764.jpg)

And the Beastmen prepared to assault.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3766.jpg)

Turn 1

With unsurprisingly very little movement on the part of Barlow's army he prepared to unleash a blistering assault upon the advancing Beastmen. Barlow successfully cast Tzeentch's Firestorm onto the large Bestigor unit, however fickly the flames were only Strength 1 and despite striking in the centre of the unit only two Bestigor succumbed. The Bray Shaman read aloud from an ancient Dispel Magic Scroll to suck away the power of Barlow's attempt at Infernal Gateway. And while Barlow successfully cast Bolt of Change against the Bestigor it failed to wound. To make matters worse the fickle flames of Tzeentch rewarded the Bestigor with a 6+ Ward Save.

In response the Beastmen army rumbled forward towards the castle walls as quickly as possible.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3767.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3768.jpg)

The Great Bray Shaman was unable to control the coursing energy of the Winds of Magic, casting Enfeebling Foe on the Marauder Auditionees but having to unleash a small burst of energy that killed two Bestigor and wounded the Battering Ram.

Elsewhere on the battlefield a Level 4 Empire Wizard was sucked into the Realm of Chaos and the Dwarfen war machines took their toll on the walls of the castle guarded by the Lizardmen.

Turn 2

The Beastmen invoked some primeval artefact to summon a storm that lashed the castle limiting the very few firing troops from shooting from the castle walls. The Marauder Auditionees and the Chosen of the Judge's Houses swapped places on the battlements so that the Chosen were facing the siege tower pushed by the Gor unit that was about to meet the battlements.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3769.jpg)

Note the Ghorgon is playing the role of the siege tower.

Sorcerer Lord Barlow, seeing the Gor block were clearly going to be the first unit to reach the walls changed the focus of his attack towards them. First up he invoked an Infernal Gateway on the Gor block, however Tzeentch continued to deny Barlow meaning the Gateway was only Strength 2 and only two Gor were wounded. Blue Fire of Tzeentch killed a further three, but yet again the fates were cruel as the Gor were gifted a 6+ regeneration save.

The Gor block makes the final push to the walls, throwing their ladders up and scrabbling up to the battlements. The Bray Shamans do their best to help the upcoming combat casting Miasma on the Chosen reducing their Weapon Skill by 3. Though Louis uses his Dispel Magic Scroll to stop Wyssan's Wildform being used.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3770.jpg)

On the battlements the Beastlord and a number of Gor step forward to fight, with the Gor Champion accepting the Chosen Champion's challenge. Despite the presence of Miasma the Gor Champion is strike down, and the Chosen Champion receives a free re-roll from the Eye of the Gods. The Chosen manage an impressive two wounds on the Beastlord despite his ward save, suffering two casualties in return. The rest of the Gor are struck down before they even got a chance to fight. The Chosen of the Judge's Houses hold the wall, but the Gor aren't ready to flee yet.

Turn 3

Sorecerer Lord Barlow overlooked the oncoming Beastmen horde as they scrabbled up the wall of Ogfort.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3771.jpg)

Determined to stop their progress he spied the Bestigor unit ahead and drew an enormous amount of power from the Winds of Magic to summon Infernal Gateway, unfortunately the power was too much and Barlow could not control it. The explosion in the Bestigor unit was less than spectacular as it was only a Strength 3, and killed just two Bestigor. But in response a massive explosion engulfed the tower Barlow was standing in and he was thrown through a portal into the Realm of Chaos. Cursing and screaming as he went.

On the battlements the Beastlord accepts the challenge of the Chosen Champion, and using his Eye of the Gods reroll inflicts a single wound, but this time the Beastlord's talisman protects him. In response the Beastlord strikes him dead, but the remaining Chosen again kill all the Gor before they can strike.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3772.jpg)

The Bestigor reach the gatehouse slamming their battering ram into the gate, which cracks but holds.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3773.jpg)

Meanwhile the Empire artillery destroys the tower on the left flank of the Chosen, masonry cascading into the courtyard.

With Sorcerer Lord Barlow gone the Beastmen had the upper hand in their magic phase, Louis simply unable to counter their magic.  As Miasma was again recast on the Chosen of the Judge's Houses reducing their Initiative and Weapon Skill by three.

In combat two Wargors from the Gor unit headed up onto the battlements felling four Chosen, the weight of numbers was telling now, the Chosen did however manage to inflict the last wound on the Beastlord before fleeing the wall and letting it fall to the Gor.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3774.jpg)

Turn 4

The remaining Chosen of the Judge's Houses rally in the courtyard.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3775.jpg)

Whilst the Marauder Auditiones and Audeince Trolls reposition to face the inevitable brech of the castle gate by the Bestigor.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3776.jpg)

The Bestigor again crunch the gate with their battering ram, but it still holds, denying them entry.

The Gor charge down the wall into the remaining Chosen of the Judge's Houses, while a unit of Harpies lands in the courtyard blocking the Marauder Auditonee's charge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3777.jpg)

The Dwarf Cannons heavily damage the wall between the Bootcamp Warriors and the Beastmen horde.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3778.jpg)

Meanwhile the Empire bring down an entire wall section ahead of the other Chaos Warband.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3779.jpg)

The Chosen manage four wounds on the Beastmen, two of which are saved by the ward save Tzeentch gave them. In response two more Chosen of the Judge's House are slaughtered by the Gor. But the Standard Bearer refuses to budge defiantly rolling a double 1 for his break teast and standing his ground.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3780.jpg)

Turn 5

Dermot O' Battle Standard Bearer led the Audience Trolls into the Gor supporting the one remaining Chosen of the Judge's Houses. The Marauder Audtionees charge the Harpies wiping them out. Dermot kills a Wargor in a challenge, upping his armour save to 3+ thanks to the Eye of the Gods. The Audience Trolls kill four Gors but the last Chosen falls victim to the Gors. The combat rumbles on.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3781.jpg)

The gate finally breaks under the pressure of the battering ram allowing the Bestigor to pour through and charge the Marauders.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3782.jpg)

The Dwarven artillery finally completes its work as the wall protecting the Bootcamp Warriors from the rampaging horde collapses.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3784.jpg)

Seeing the danger to the Marauders, Louis dispels Wyssan's Wildform, but the second Shaman successfully casts it on the Bestigor, and then Enfeebling Foe is also cast on the Marauders reducing their Strength by 3.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3783.jpg)

At such a disadvantage the Marauders only inflict a single wound on the Bray Shaman for 15 wounds in return! They break and are rundown by the Bestigor.

Meanwhile Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer and the Audience Trolls inflict four wounds on the Gor for only a single wound in return.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3785.jpg)

Turn 6

Louis casts Transmutation of Lead on the Bestigor reducing their Weapon Skill, and then Searing Doom on one of the approaching Tuskgor Chariots destroying it outright, however all the surrounding Chariots and Razorgor are unpanicked by the destruction. Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer and the Audience Trolls manage to kill an impressive 8 Gor and the few remaining survivors run from the castle.

In response Louis and the Bootcamp Warriors are charged from all sides by Bestigor, Chariots and Razorgor, who pour through the collapsed wall section.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3786.jpg)

Again Louis is unable to stop the deadly combination of Enfeebling Foe and Wyssan's Wildform from being cast

A unit of Empire Archers that has snuck across the walls opens fire on the Audience Trolls causing a wound on both a Troll and Dermot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3787.jpg)

Severely surrounded the Bootcamp Warriors only manage a single wound on the Razorgor and one wound on the Bestigor – which is saved by their 6+ Ward Save they gained from earlier Tzeentch Magic. Twelve Warriors die in response and Louis and they few remainder are slaughtered as they try to run.

Turn 7

With the castle almost overwhelmed Dermot O'Battle Standard Bearer and the Audience Trolls make a stand in the courtyard only to be charged in the flank by another unit of Gor.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3788.jpg)

The Trolls lose and break, leaving Dermot to be ripped apart by the snarling mob of Gor to the end the final turn. While the Lizardmen and Daemons had pockets of resistance left contesting their sections of the castle, both groups of Warriors of Chaos had been wiped out and the western end of the castle lay burning in ruins.

Conclusion

Sadly it was defeat for Team Ogfried, and shame for Sorcerer Lord Barlow. But I really enjoyed the siege game, I think possibly the first of such games I've ever played. At first you see an overwhelming horde of enemy models and think all is lost, then as they start smashing against the walls and you easily repel the first waves you start to think you can hold on. But once the defences crumble and your units to start to fall you have nothing left in reinforcements and it's a real uphill struggle to stop being overwhelmed. I think next siege though I wouldn't mind having a few ranged troops on those battlements – my own fault for never painting a Hellcannon I guess!

I think if I was going to blame anyone for my defeat it was Tzeentch himself, Barlow's magic was appalling with a range the devastating range of Infernal Gateway's and Tzeetnch's Firestorms exploding everywhere Beastmen should have been dying left, right and centre. However when all I could roll was Strengths between 1 and 3 it was comically.  Add that to the fact that all it seemed to do was hand out the Beastmen units a 6+ Ward Save – which they seemed to make far more often than I did, and you can begin to belief Tzeentch had switched sides in his usual fickle way. Then when Barlow was finally blasted into the Realm of Chaos I was overwhelmed as my combats were tipped way in the Beastmen's favour by a combination of spells I just couldn't stop.

I have to say a massive thanks to Pip for organising the campaign and to the various other competitors, and their stand-ins, for making the whole thing very enjoyable. I am hoping to get involved in the next Warhammer campaign soon.

Barlow's near lifeless body was spat into the Chaos Wastes, before the portal to the Realm of Chaos closed. He had lost everything, his armies were destroyed there wasn't a single survivor from the massacre at Ogfort. His powers had gone too, having turned his back on the Lord of Cowell in disgust at the lack of support he was given at Ogfort, Tzeentch had disowned him. His mark had been stripped, even Robbie his Disc had been removed. Rumour had it that the Lord of Cowell had done a deal with a bitter rival, someone he swore he'd never work with again. The Bloodthrister of Cole and the Lord of Cowell were together once again...

120.3 Get in Touch

Sadly that's it from the Adventures of Sorcerer Lord Barlow, I hope you have enjoyed them as much as I have. If so why not get involved in the next Warhammer campaign at the club – you're sure to enjoy it.

As always I'm going to ramble on about the fact that you can find me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers where there really isn't very much to see!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on March 17, 2014, 12:28:56 pm
Great write up Matt - look forward to seeing what you do for the next campaign
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 18, 2014, 11:14:50 pm
Quote from: roland murat on March 17, 2014, 12:28:56 pm
Great write up Matt - look forward to seeing what you do for the next campaign

Thanks very much glad you enjoyed it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 23, 2014, 10:06:40 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 121 Ol Revoir Friday 23rd May 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

Ok your luck has run out. It's been a while since you've had to endure one of my rambling blogs about nothing. But not anymore your fortunes have changed, I'm back with a vengeance, well I'm back with at least one blog entry. Let's not get carried away with ourselves.

My "idiot's sponge" (like "writer's block" but for people who don't write worthwhile things) has finally lifted. Really life changing events often inspire great pieces of literature The Russian Revolution of 1917 and subsequent historical period inspiring Animal Farm, the hunt for Communist spies in America inspiring the Crucible,  a very large pay cheque inspiring the script for Rocky V. And as you may have gathered, from probably the most brilliant pun ever created, (entitling this blog), Ol's departure from the club has resulted in this very blog entry. Had he known this he'd probably thrown himself under a bus instead, but there we go.

Yes much to the dismay of red wine suppliers of South West London, Ol, our illustrious leader has departed us for pastures new. In honour of this I actually made it down to the club yesterday to partake in a game he no longer plays on literally the farthest table in the club away from him. Still it's the thought that counts. I was there for the metaphorical standing ovation and awarding of the carriage clock for long service. These things were so metaphorical they didn't actually happen, but he did get a hug off me, and probably some contagious disease - sorry about that.

It's at this point I must be serious for a moment (as if this is even possible) and thank Ol for his hard work in founding the club, and his continuous efforts to keep it going - in-spite of my lackadaisical attitude to attendance. We've all benefitted from his hard work securing locations, inspiring campaigns, running tournaments and sourcing battlefields, terrain and new games to consume our time. And it is gratefully appreciated and will be missed. Personally it was Ol's forum and organisation of a Tale of OG Gamers that got this blog's predecessor inspired and off the ground (yes you can blame him). And his continued encouragement got it thriving – mainly through spitting out various food and drink substances all over his computer screen in response to my jokes. Mercifully for his laptop I've become significantly less funny and don't write as much anymore. Ol has also personally taken several thousand pounds of hard-earned cash off me, primarily for his supply of important and discounted wargaming materials – the prostitution racket was just a side line. And obviously all the games of Warhammer, never have dice been angrily thrown at me with such good humour. This might be starting to sound like an obituary for Ol, he's not dead, he's just moving up North – anyone thinking the two events are comparable is very naughty!

So what does that mean for the future of the club? Well as the benevolent dictator in waiting that I am, I have swept to power. There won't be any major changes other than the club will be rebranded from OG Games to the "Matt Is Awesome Club" – with Planet Matt is Awesome Warhammer 40,000 campaigns and the like. And all club members will be forced to read all my blog entries five times over and laugh at ALL the jokes. What do you mean that didn't happen? And if I'd turned up to the Club Council meetings I could have raised these points.

No of course not. Ol's baby of six years couldn't be left in my care – otherwise it would almost certainly end up in a young offenders' institution and I'd have been accosted by social services.
Gareth, Mike, Steve and Sam will be taking over the reins and getting annoyed with me for not turning up enough – it comes with the job, you have to.

On that note I will make yet another promise, that I shall fail to keep, to update this blog. I should probably be punished and made to sit in a gunge tank (it was good enough in the 90s) if I fail yet again. But there's two new campaigns lurking in the wings that I am planning to get involved in, so that might get my fingers working. Plus of course the brand new edition of Warhammer 40,000 is out tomorrow. I've nearly learnt the rules to the last edition – so I am sure this won't confuse me!

So thanks once again Ol, hope to see you very soon! Best of luck in York.

Remember I can always be harassed on Twitter @ProbyNumbers being the best place to do it – otherwise you could harass someone else you don't mean to!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on May 24, 2014, 10:34:45 am
We hated this blog... It was truely horrible.

Love,

The New Council.

;)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 24, 2014, 03:47:15 pm
Quote from: Steve H on May 24, 2014, 10:34:45 am
We hated this blog... It was truely horrible.

Love,

The New Council.

;)

Dam I've been ousted in the equivalent of a cabinet reshuffle!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Steve H on May 24, 2014, 03:58:49 pm

Quote from: cunningmatt on May 24, 2014, 03:47:15 pm
Dam I've been ousted in the equivalent of a cabinet reshuffle!
You basically are Jack Straw...

Sad but true!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on May 24, 2014, 07:41:49 pm
Quote from: Steve H on May 24, 2014, 03:58:49 pm
You basically are Jack Straw...

Sad but true!

So I'm partially responsible for the collapse of the British economy? Probably from spending the national gold reserves on High Elf models!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on May 24, 2014, 08:55:12 pm
Which explains alot about defence policy
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 04, 2014, 06:48:59 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 122 Triumph, Treachery and Being a Tit Wednesday 4th June 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

122.1 More Rules To Learn

So the weekend before last I took to the battlefield in the multiplayer madness that is Triumph and Treachery. For those of you who don't know how it works you're in the same boat as me. Not a clue. But whatever was going on I did seem to enjoy it. Bit like sex really.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3804.jpg)

Now we weren't just playing for fun, oh no fun was the last thing on our minds. This was important research (though sadly we weren't paid) for our upcoming Lustria campaign penned by Pip the resident club campaign guru (try saying that after a full sized Ol-tab at the bar - awww his memory lives on).

For those of you who don't how it works basically you have five players on the board at once. Which essentially means that the table is cluttered with 150% more models, dice, army books, pints of beer, tape measures, cards, bags of sweets and templates. Finding a space to deploy in becomes like finding a car parking spot on Oxford Street on a Saturday morning before Christmas, when you are driving a stretch limo with a hen party hanging out the back.

If this wasn't enough clutter you get two more sets of cards and an extra set of tokens just to ensure that any flock-based green belt land is completely covered by your gameplay sprawl. One  set of cards determines the order of play. If your card is drawn it's your go, but rather than a massive bun fight, each phase you must nominate an enemy to face your wrath. So in the Movement phase who are you going to charge? In the Magic phase who are you going to blast to piece with spells? In the Shooting phase who are you going to miss with all your arrows? In the Combat phase who are you going to break from, in what I like to call a strategic retreat? And in the Drinking phase who are you going to plead longingly at in the hope they buy you a pint? It's an important tactical decision as you weigh up which targets are your priorities and who is least likely to require a reciprocal pint.

The second set of cards contain some nefarious cards that you can use to influence the battle at critical moments. Playing the Sabotage card allows you to prevent a war machine firing, playing the Ancient Alliance card allows you to force your opponent to select another target that phase and playing the Immigration card allows you to win the European Parliamentary elections despite all sense of reason. There's nothing that beats the excitement of watching your opponent line up all their units to open fire upon you in the Shooting Phase, only to play the card that forces your opponent to select a different target (sorry Pip). Although it is deeply infuriating when they play it back.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3797.jpg)

Lastly you are presented with a pile of counters, which are used to score up your victory points.
Scoring them as you go is important as you might need to spend them to bribe the enemy, pay to use some of the more useful trickster cards or pay for !@%$#%@ from behind the bar. Strangely the coins, all of different shapes, don't have their value printed on them. So you are forced to fondle through them, asking everyone how much each coin is worth, like your trying to buy lunch in a foreign country using exact change. Still on the plus side no values printed on the coins means you can assign them whatever value you wish. Perhaps unsurprisingly I didn't have much call for the 1,500 Victory Point token though we could have easily done with more 50 Victory Point ones.

122.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 0

As I mentioned our game was a prelude to the upcoming Lustria campaign, as they used to say on Dead Ringers "more on that story later", by later I mean another time. But it gave us an opportunity to try out our forces.

On my table was Pip and his Lizardmen army, Tom C's newly purchased Bretonnians, Tom U's Dark Elves and Sam's Warriors of Chaos. I used this opportunity to deploy some newly painted High Elves that hadn't yet seen battle (in fact many haven't seen this blog - sorry I will rectify this soon). My army consisted of a Loremaster of Hoeth, leading his Swordmaster breathren. A large unit of Lothern Sea Guard, accompanied by my newly painted Lothern Skycutter (with Eagle Claw Bolt Thrower of course), and a Flamespyre Phoenix to finish off. Well why not? Yes it's the flamey one. Yes I know the frosty one is better. But Phoenix should be flamey really, so my first one had to be! Plus I hired a group of mercenaries 11 Troll Slayers led by a Dragon Slayer.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3790.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3791.jpg)

I deployed with Lizardmen to my left and Dark Elves to my right, with the Bretonnians and Warriors of Chaos on the far board edge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3789.jpg)

The Lizardmen immediately took a dislike to my Phoenix and Troll Slayers. The Cold One Knights attempting a long charge on the Phoenix, which they failed. And the Skinks and Stegadons lining up to pepper my army with missile fire. Fortunately I was able to play a Treachery card forcing the Lizardmen to choose another target.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3792.jpg)

My Loremaster and his Swordmasters headed immediately towards the centre of the board. There were bonus victory points available for whoever claimed the centre square at the end of each turn in this scenario. And I made an attempt to claim them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3793.jpg)

My main other move was overflying a unit of Skinks with my Phoenix incinerating half of them.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3794.jpg)

Elsewhere the Warriors of Chaos got off to a bad start with a Khorne chariot being unable to restrain itself, attempting to charge through a wood and being utterly destroyed.

The Skinks managed to get their blow pipes to work this turn, felling a number of Slayers and taking a couple of wounds off the Phoenix. It's 4+ Ward Save preventing it from taking more punishment.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3796.jpg)

Elsewhere the Dark Elves and Bretonnians launch a coordinated attack on the Warriors destroying the majority of their army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3795.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3800.jpg)

Spotting my opportunity my Loremaster used Searing Doom to crush the Bretonnian Lord on Pegasus who came near him. Overconfident he then tried to protect his unit with Earth Blood but miscast killing nearly half the Swordmasters!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3798.jpg)

The Bretonnians then got their revenge by using one of the Lustria based terrain to quicksand the Loremaster and a handful more Swordmasters. In the interest of brevity (something I'm sure you don't think I know about), I'll save a more detailed discussion on Lustrian terrain for another day – suffice us to say my initial thoughts are it is annoying!

Meanwhile in a desperate bid to try and reclaim some troops the Chaos Lord drinks from the Chalice of Chaos in the hopes of attaining Deamonhood – sadly for him he is just killed, with the death of the rest of the army, the Warriors are taken out of the game.

Making an uneasy alliance with the Dark Elves to my left, I concentrate my forces on the Lizardmen. The remaining Dragon Slayer and Giant Slayer throw themselves at the Stegadon in the hopes of finding a worthy opponent. But sadly couldn't score a single wound, and the Giant Slayer was stomped for his trouble. The Phoenix charges into the Cold One Knights, only for a really low Winds of Magic result to reduce his Strength to 4. It was at this point I discover a Flamespyre Phoneix only has 3 Attacks. 3 Attacks!!! For Flipping Nora's bloody sake, a Great Eagle has 2! Unsurprisingly the Phoenix is hacked to bits, though as the last act of the turn I manage to rebirth it immediately on its original set of wounds!! Whatever anyone says about Flamespyre Phoenix being worse than their frozen cousins, the look on Pip's face was definitely worth it!!

In my next turn the Skycutter got a sneaky flank shot off against the Knights Errant panicking them off the board for extra victory points.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3799.jpg)

The Dragon Slayer finally got squashed. And my Phoenix failed a charge against a unit of Skinks allowing it to be charged in the rear by another Stegadon.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3801.jpg)

The Cold Ones charge the Lothern Sea Guard in the rear, the majority are massacred but the rest flee. The Dark Elves then break the alliance, Dark Riders charging the fleeing Lothern Sea Guard forcing them to run to the centre of the board. Meanwhile the Warlocks charge the Skycutter in the flank culling it and overrunning into the Swordmasters flank.

The final turn sees the Swordmasters crushed by the Warlocks, the rallied Sea Guard stomped by a Stegadon and the second Stegadon crushing the Phoenix. My last roll of the game is to revive my Phoenix, but instead it dies for good.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3802.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3803.jpg)

After totting up the victory points the Dark Elves had done the best massacring the Warriors and letting the rest of us fight amongst ourselves before picking off stragglers. Typical Dark Elf strategy.

All in all an enjoyable game, thanks to my many opponents for putting up with me essentially. It's definitely tough knowing how to defend yourself against a number of players, but the Treachery cards do add some fun!! I look forward to getting embroiled in the campaign more.

122.3 Get In Touch

Hopefully more on that next time. Until then be sure to follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers, you can always unfollow me later as I'll never know!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 10, 2014, 08:35:27 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 123 Lustrian Summer Tuesday 10th June 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

123.1 Return to Port Cadavo

As mentioned in the last update, Lustria beckons, well where else would you spend a hot summer other than in the humid foliage of a dense jungle? Beats a week in Benidorm anyhow.

Pip, our campaign host with the most, has put together another wonderful Lustira Campaign, more of which you can see here. http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3850.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3850.0)

To give a little flavour to those who can't be bothered to read the whole thread, here's the introductory story, copied and pasted for your viewing pleasure (all rights rightfully attributed to Pip, please don't sue me – thank you very much).

Tales are still told in the Old World of the legendary El Cadavo - adventurer, pirate, gentleman. For the children of his native Estalia, the favourite stories by far are those of his three voyages to Lustria, and the lost cities full of fabulous treasures he found there. Few parents care to finish the story of the third voyage - how the mighty El Cadavo returned from the jungle a broken man, and poured his last pennies away drinking himself to death in a dockside hovel. How not one of the men who had gone with him returned from the steaming rainforest alive.

Now, however, the name of El Cadavo has gained a new cachet - for a cartographer in Marienburg claimed recently to have unearthed one of the pirate lord's maps. Naturally, within the week there were a hundred "copies" circulating through the port city's back streets. Within a month, the rumours have spread to Erengrad and L'Anguille, and men in those cities who have never been to Marienburg are selling "bonafide originals" for a schilling a go.

Spurred by greed and the glitter of gold, ships set sail from up and down the Old World for the Lustrian shore. They will find the lost gold of El Cadavo, and return as rich as kings - or they will die in the jungle and be forgotten to the world.

Probably the latter.


So to take part in the campaign, I needed two forces: a motley band of skirmishers known as my Regiment of Renown, and a general who would lead larger forces in battle. Feeling the lure of my Elven milkshake blood again, I plumped for this arrogant band of white robbed pointy ears:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3825.jpg)

Of course, me being me, I would need to write some clinically insane fluff, so here goes:

They are the Elves of the Citadel of Dusk, the guardians of the cape of Lustria. Protecting shipping as it passes below the great continent.

The Citadel of Dusk is one of the most remote outposts of the Elven territories. One of the few colonies remaining from a bygone age of the Elven Empire. Distance from Ulthuan has allowed the Citadel to develop its own culture, its own values and its own ways. Whilst these remain broadly in line with the traditions of all Elves, often new developments of Ulthuan are met with suspicion on the Citadel of Dusk. Just as few Elves of the Citadel had a profile on AsurBook, none of the Citadel's members had watched the new series of Game of Thrones on Phoenixflix. So when news from Ulthuan arrived that the courts of Lothern had ordered operation Yew Helm – the Citadel of Dusk was aghast.

The Swordmasters of Hoeth unending hunt for the hidden cult of pleasure and the followers of Slaanesh, would turn its attentions to some of the greatest children's entertainers of the empire days. Operation Yew Helm would leave no stone unturned as it strove to find out if these entertainment performances contained dark rites towards the heathen god of pleasure.

The Citadel of Dusk was known as a retirement home for the children's entertainers of the day, the palaces overlooking Jungle lands providing a colourful reminder of their past lives. The children's entertainers knew their innocence, but how could they prove it? Fearful of the ships that had been undoubtedly dispatched from Ulthuan, they knew they had to act. Forming a council they debated for many days, unsure of how to proceed until one of their number stood forward. Soot ridden, a member of the elite Phoenix Guard step forward. He could not speak due to his vow, but whispered in the ears of all the other members what they must do. They must journey to the Lustrian city of El Cadavo, there they would find the sacred plaques created by the Old Ones that depicted the comic works on which their routines were based. Here they could prove the truth of their innocence. And so a band of High Elves from many disciplines set forth into the Lustrian jungle determined to prove their history, their innocence and their place in Ulthuan culture.

Meanwhile on the churning seas of The Great Ocean a fleet of Elven Dragonships ploughed through their waves. A top the bridge Loremaster Dibble looked out across the rolling water. In the distance he could see a speck of land appear on the horizon, which he knew from experience all too soon would rise up to form the mighty jungle clad coastline of Lustria. He pondered his orders to bring to justic those entertainers who had settled in the Citadel of Dusk. But Loremaster Dibble was not a rash man; he wished to get to the truth behind those he pursued, and so knew the sacred plaques of those the lizard creatures worshipped would be the only way to know for certain. Though Loremaster Dibble found his focus drawn, a number of Troll Slayers were on deck vomiting up the vast quantities of beer they'd consumed over the side of the ship. Ever since they'd come across the wreck of that Ironclad, he'd been unsure whether it had been wise to rescue the Dwarfs or not. He could feel the unease amongst the crew even at the small number of their ancient adversary present on the ship. It wasn't even as if the Dwarfs had been that grateful for being rescued. Mainly complaining that the flimsy wooden ship wasn't up to Dwarf standards - apparently pointing out that it was the Dwarf vessel that had sunk and not Loremaster Dibble's Dragonship, hadn't made matters better. Still the Dwarfs had just about conceded that they hated the sea more than they hated the Elves, and it was just about better to have been rescued than to have drowned. Still Loremaster Dibble reasoned the Dwarfs would be good fighters, even if their manners left much to be desired.

And so it was two Elven commanders rivals due to the courts of Lothern, embarked on the same mission, neither sure of what they would do should they meet the other.


Followed that? No me neither. But in case you did here are the characters you will be forced to read about for the next few months. You must read this blog, you must, it is the law. To keep you in the loop three characters have a bonus special ability picked from a supplied list, and Soot ridden my General gets 20 points of free magic items and an extra wound.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3829.jpg)

Spearmen, with spear, light armour and shield. (bonus rule: Armour Piercing) – 9 points

Spearman Pat and her black and white feline pelt were famed for their delivery important messages around Avelorn Dale in the heart of Ulthuan. Spearmen Pat forced messages through the windows of the recipient on the end of her long spear. Whilst traditionally the spear is only good for regimental fighting Spearmen Pat's ability to post messages through the smallest of openings has given her the ability to penetrate through the slightest weakness in her opponent's armour, exploiting the weak spots in those who refuse to use the postcode system properly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3823.jpg)

Silver Helm with lance, heavy armour, shield and ridding barded Elven steed. – 23 points

The White Knight as he was originally known became renown for using off-white fabrics a brave fashion statement for those on the island of Ulthuan. Forever known as the Whiteish Knight, or sometimes the Creamy-Beigey Knight, he delivered vengeance to his foes, stood up for the weak and generally missed with all his attacks on the charge - well he is a Silver Helm still.

Incidentally if you don't remember The Whitish Knight, you clearly didn't watch enough of the excellent Maid Marian and her Merry Men. Sadly the only part of the relevant episode I can find is in German, so this may not help:



(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3813.jpg)

Lothern Sea Guard with spear, light armour and shield. (but no bow – dropped due to limits on ranged weapons in campaign!) – 11 points

Captain Pugwash was an important member of the Lothern Sea Guard. He sailed the seven seas fighting in relatively low risk, cartoon raids in a family friendly way. Driven to retirement by the constant Seaman jokes made to him by others, he took up residency in the Citadel of Dusk.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3819.jpg)

White Lion with great weapon, heavy armour and lion pelt. (Bonus rule: Stomp) - 13 points

Pat Sharp Knee the White Lion was a ferocious fighter known for his skills with the axe, and appallingly  long hairstyle. His twin White Lions Melanie and Martina always liked coming round to his house because it was such fun. He was equipped with the all-important Spiky Kneepads which allowed him to survive the ridiculously high speed Fun House White Lion Chariot Grand Prix. Plus he could use them to give a swift knee to any misbehaving kids.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3821.jpg)

Shadow Warrior with light armour and longbow. (Bonus Rule: 5+ Regeneration) – 14 points

The Phoenix Flan Flinger - the black cloaked menace of Nagarthye fought an ongoing war against the Dark Elves even in times of relative peace. He would hunt them down ensuring they met a terrible fate. The bodies of the Dark Elves would be smothered in a vile foam, which angered the Druchii by staining their black robes the white colour of the High Elves. No one knows the true identity of the Phoenix Flan Flinger, though some whisper his name is Dave Benson-Phillips and that he is determined to Get Your Own Back on all the Dark Elves. His dashing black cloak is said to protect the Phoenix Flan Flinger from all kinds of wounds and from the thickest of gunges.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3811.jpg)

Phoenix Guard with halberd and heavy armour. Also carries a Potion of Strength. – 15 points

Having taken a vow of silence upon entering the Shrine of Asuryan, Soot ridden (known as Sooty to his friends), the Phoenix Guard communicates by whispering in the ears of his friends. He is rumoured to be able to walk with the Phoenix by using his magic water pistol to control them. Should he drink from the water pistol, he can temporarily boost his own Strength.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3809.jpg)

Sister of Avelorn with Bow of Avelorn and light armour. – 14 points

Yvette Field Ranger guarded the Avelorn woodlands from rampaging monsters with her magical bow made of sticky back plastic. After receiving her Blue Avelorn Badge from the Everqueen she started fighting the Undead. Accompanied by her ally Tyrion Acorah they found dead people wherever they looked, screaming all the way!

Total 99 Points

Lastly I had to select a general for my main army, within the rules that I could not go over 300 points and I couldn't have a magic user greater than Level 2.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3816.jpg)

Loremaster Dibble of Hoeth with Armour of Caledor and a Potion of Toughness. – 300 points

Loremaster Dibble has been an experienced hunter of children's entertainers since long before Operation Yew Helm begun. Famously chasing Top Elf and his gang through the rubbish tip of Lothern. He is determined to discover the truth behind Soot Ridden and his followers.

123.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 1 – Game 1

So there's my army, but what's an army without battles? Peaceful, used for defence purposes? Not it's boring that's what it is. So in the interests of fun I took on Sam's Warriors of Chaos in two skirmishes between our Regiments of Renown (hence no Loremaster).

First up we played the scenario entitled "Where Are We?", where both parties have got lost in the Lustrian jungle, when they stumble across each other on what they believe to be a jungle path. The two must fight each other and escape along their path. A point is scored for each kill, and for each model that leaves the opponent's board edge. Sam's Warriors consisted of a Chosen of Khorne along with a pack of 7 Chaos Hounds.

After days trudging through the jungle the band of warriors from the Citadel of Dusk were yet to find anything in the Lustria undergrowth. Then Soot-ridden whispering in the ear of his men, says he's discovered what he thinks is a path through to the ancient artefacts they had been searching for. Ahead of them they find their route blocked by a Chaos Champion and his pack of Hounds.

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With the Hounds closing in Sister Yvette and Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger fire a volley of shots at the advancing Hounds, but through they are unable to get a clean shot through the dense foliage.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3871.jpg)

Before they know it, it's too late as the Hounds are upon them. Spearmen Pat flees the Hounds shouting something about bad memories from her days in the Post Office. Two Chaos Hounds reach White Lion Pat Sharp Knee, a further two hit Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden and one Hound with Impact Hits collides with Sea Guard Pugwash. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee easily dispatches one of the Hounds sending the other fleeing from the board, with Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden repeating the feat (although his second Hound doesn't reach the table edge. Sea Guard Pugwash and the remaining Hound fail to wound each other.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3872.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3873.jpg)

The Chosen drinks from his Chalice of Chaos, gaining a 5+ Ward Save until the beginning of the next turn. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee charges a third Chaos Hound and Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden charges the Hound who earlier fled from him, sending him scampering further away.
Sister Yvette and Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger open fire on the Chosen but are again unable to hit their targets. The two ongoing combats featuring White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Sea Guard Pugwash each fighting a Hound both ended with no wounds scored. In the Chaos turn the remaining Chaos Hound rallies, and both White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Sea Guard Pugwash kill their respective Chaos Hounds.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3874.jpg)

Phoenix Guard Soot ridden drank his Potion of Strength, him and The Whiteish Silver Helm charge the Chosen each doing a wound and killing the Chaos leader. In an effort to gain revenge, the last remaining Hound charges the Whiteish Silver Helm, the Knight fails to wound but the Elven Steed tramples the Hound. With the entire Chaos army dead or having fled the board, Soot-ridden was able to lead his band off the table.


Well that couldn't really have gone better Sam's entire army dead or routed for not a single loss. No you are not dreaming I have actually achieved that – something about monkeys and typewriters and if you play enough games of Warhammer springs to mind!

123.3 Return to Port Cadavo Round 1 – Game 2

Second game was entitled "Treasure Hunt", also against Sam's same list trying to get hold of three treasure tokens placed in the centre of the board.

After dusting themselves down Soot-ridden's Elves carried on trudging, they reached a spot on the map that indicated ancient relics would be present in the jungle. Perhaps the sacred plaques they required, they couldn't be sure. But then..., perhaps it was the jungle heat..., but the Elves saw another Chosen with a pack of Chaos Hounds opposing them.

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The Chaos side advances with a Chaos Hound claiming the first treasure token. In response the White Lion Pat Sharp Knee and Phoenix Guard Soot ridden claim the remaining treasure tokens. Sister Yvette takes a pot shot at one of the Chaos Hounds but misses.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3876.jpg)

The Chaos skirmishers charge in. One Hound rips apart Spearmen Pat frothing at the mouth it overruns into Sister Yvette. White Lion Pat Sharp Knee misses his Chaos Hound only for it to rip his throat out. Phoenix Guard Soot ridden and the Chosen each exchange a wound.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3877.jpg)

Phoenix Guard Soot ridden drinks from his Potion of Strength, while the Chosen drinks from his Chalice of Chaos – giving him a chance of Daemonhood. However the Chosen fails his leadership test and devolves into a hideous pile of Chaos Spawn. Sea Guard Pugwash charges a Chaos Hound, while a Shadow Warrior Phoenix Flan Flinger shoots at a Chaos Hound but fails to Wound. Sister Yvette manages to kill the Chaos Hound threatening her, while Sea Guard Pugwash kills his Chaos Hound overrunning into another. Phoenix Guard Soot ridden with his mighty strength inflicts a wound on the Chaos Spawn, which due to poor rolling fails to score a wound in return. The remaining Chaos Hounds manage to wound Phoenix Guard Soot ridden, but his ward save protects him. Despite using the Spawn's leadership of 10 the two Chaos Hounds both flee the combat.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3878.jpg)

The fleeing Chaos Hounds now rally, but they are unable to come to the rescue of their now-Spawn master, as despite his now diminished Strength, Phoenix Guard Soot ridden manages to take the final wound of the Chaos Spawn. Sea Guard Pugwash kills a Chaos Hound forcing his fellow to flee. In response two Chaos Hounds charge Phoenix Guard Soot ridden, one is killed and the other flees the board. At this point the two remaining Chaos Hounds are fleeing and all the treasure tokens remain in Elven hands.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3879.jpg)

Phoenix Guard Soot ridden examined the artefacts, wiping the splattered remains of several Chaos Hounds from them. But it was quickly clear these weren't the treasure he needed. Splattering a custard pie over each of them, he continued his long journey deep into the Lustrian jungle.


Unbelievably I find myself in the position of having won two games out of two in this campaign, can I quit now? This means I am joint top of the leader board with the full 450 gold (200 for showing up, 200 for best result being a win, and 50 points for playing a new opponent). Additionally I gained myself +1 Movement for Soot-ridden, after rolling on the attributes table – I think I could have got more useful results but there we go!!

123.4 Get In Touch

On that winning streak I shall say goodbye. I definitely intend to return soon with some photos of newly painted models!! Remember Twitter you can find me @ProbyNumbers, say hello! And as always your comments and opinions are welcomed here. Even if you've not been on the forum before, sign up and say hi. We don't bite, well except Steve but we'll muzzle him first.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 18, 2014, 08:50:45 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 124 Glutton for Punishment Wednesday 18th June 2014

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124.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 1

Lurking around the forum in unheard of places that we never like to go, a new seed has been sewn and from it tiny roots have sprung. Roots that must be nurtured and cared for if they are to grow and flourish into a beautiful flower.

What is this strange and twisted metaphor talking about? It is of course the return of The Tale of OG Gamers. Many years ago, when I was still bitter and single and using so much hair gel that Greenpeace kept protesting around my sink every time I washed my hair I completed a Tale of OG Gamers. In fact indirectly it was this Tale of OG Gamers that caused the birth of this very blog. Yet despite this clear and present warning from history the organisers of this forum have decided to organise another - the fools.

For those of you unaware what the Tale of OG Gamers is, basically where a group of gamers get together and over the coming months agree to paint an army and keep us updated on its progress. And then get bored and give up. No hopefully not, in fact I'd go as far as saying I urge to sign up if you haven't yet by heading to this very link:  http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3899.0 (http://ogforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=3899.0)

I completed my 2,000 point High Elf army back in June 2011 to much (well some) acclaim.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3880.jpg)

To rather less acclaim I failed to complete my second Tale of OG Gamers - Ultramarines last year (June 2013). It turns out that even I, lover of painting all things blue: Dwarfs, High Elves, Tzeentch Warriors got bored when it came to the Ultramarines, see Update 104

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2965.jpg)

That said they are getting there and will be finished one day.

So what are the rules of Tale of OG Gamers? I hear you sigh. Well first up no one mentions Tale of OG Gamers, which I've clearly already broken. Second rule there are no rules to Tale of OG Gamers, you can paint whatever you want from whatever games system you want however you like. I've committed myself to painting one Dark Elf shoe between now and Christmas. It's going to be tough.

Obviously I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to finish my Ultramarines. That would be way too sensible. Instead I'm going to use this as an opportunity to finish off my Warriors of Chaos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2432.jpg)

My one reader, hi mum, may indeed recall this is one of my Gaming New Year's resolutions. See there is method to my madness. Well so the countless psychiatric assessments have told me. So my mission over the remainder of 2014 is to finish off my Warriors of Chaos army and keep you updated every week/fortnight/month/when I feel like it* (delete as applicable). How will I manage to string out enough content to keep you updated every week? Well I managed to use nine paragraphs just to tell you I'm joining and completing a Warriors of Chaos army. Something you could have found out by reading the sign up page. See I'm a master of it!

124.2 High Elf Painting Corner

From one new project to an old one that just won't die. I've been promising you some pictures of my latest additions to the vast High Elf army of the Shakeaway clan! So here's what I've added over the last few months since last blogging.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3914.jpg)

124.3 Flamespyre Phoenix

First up taking centre stage is my much talked about Flamespyre Phoenix. Yes it's the flaming one, but really that's how a Phoenix should look.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3881.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3883.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3885.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3887.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3888.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3892.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3893.jpg)

I previously mentioned in Update 110 how I assembled the Phoenix. Magnetising the Anointed of Asuryan's chair and the non-chair option. Which for my first attempt at magnetising I thought went well.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3915.jpg)

I also mentioned that I removed some of the flames at the base of the rider's seat. The idea being he will be interchangeable with the Frostheart Phoenix I inevitably end up getting. Meaning I can use the parts in that kit to make up Caradryan on Phoenix and the Anointed of Asuryan on foot. If I'd left the flames there I'd obviously have to paint them the colour of the appropriate Phoenix betraying his original owner!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3916.jpg)

I also magnetised the Phoenix to his base. This method proved a bit controversial as I recommended it to someone on Twitter, who copied it. And then they later put out a Tweet for a different method!

I've essentially cut the Phoenix flying stand at the widest part of the ball on the stand. The Citadel Razor Saw (if they still make it) is good for this! Then I've filled the whole on the underside of the Phoenix with green stuff. And glued a magnet to each side.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3895.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3896.jpg)

The underside of the Phoenix shields the magnets from view, from all but the most fastidious of inspections - don't invite your hobby mother-in-law around. Because the Phoenix is intrinsically top heavy, I found two magnets wasn't enough to hold the Phoenix on its stand. However using my Physics knowledge I concluded that sandwiching extra magnets between the two will increase the magnetic field strength. Currently I've got four holding the Phoenix in place, and although it is a little bit wobbly it is usable for my display and occasionally playing purposes. I reckon adding a couple more magnets might help, but I ran out after heavily magnetising my Predator (more on that another time).

Obviously if you do fancy copying this method I should stress it is a little bit wobbly. But for me it is the least-worst option. It can be easily disassembled for transport to the club and whilst occasionally the Phoenix does plunge from his perch, no damage is done, and it's easily reattached. If the Phoenix fell over with a rigid base then I'm quite sure some part of it would break!

Below is of course the obligatory painting guide, if you want to know how I got those flames so orange - lots of layers basically (sorry lazy types). Obviously this is mainly for my benefit when I want to remember how I achieved a particular colour. But do keep scrolling if you're not interested, as there are more Elves to come!!

124.4 Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide

Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 1

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Base: Steel Legion Drab
Ruins: Calthan Brown
Orange Feathers: Macharius Solar Orange
Yellow Feathers: Iyanden Dark Sun
Flames: Skull White
Claws: Chaos Black
Flesh: Iyanden Dark Sun
Beak: Tau Sept Ochre
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Seat Padding: Necron Abyss
Leather: Scorched Brown
Phoenix Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
White Cloth: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White


Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3898.jpg)

Base: Recover Steel Legion Drab
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil
Orange Feathers: Wash Devlan Mud
Yellow Feathers: Wash Devlan Mud
Flames: Layer 1:1 Skull White/Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Bad Moon Yellow
Claws: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Phoenix Flesh: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then Gryphonne Sepia
Beak: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Gold Metal: Cover Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Seat Padding: Layer Regal Blue
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Elf Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layer 1:1 (1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Yellow Trim: Layer Golden Yellow
White Cloth: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/( 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White


Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3899.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Orange Feathers: Layer Macharius Solar Orange, then highlight 1:1 Macharius Solar Orange/Fiery Orange
Yellow Feathers: Layer Iyanden Darksun, then highlight 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Golden Yellow
Flames: Layer 1:1 Bad Moon Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Phoenix Flesh: Layer Iyanden Darksun
Beak: Layer Tausept Ochre
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Seat Padding: Highlight Ultramarine Blue
Leather: Layer Scorched Brown, then highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White)
Yellow Trim: Highlight Sunburst Yellow
White Cloth: Layer watered down Skull White


Flamespyre Phoenix Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3900.jpg)

Base: NONE
Ruins: Drybrush Rakarth Flesh, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Orange Feathers: Highlight Fiery Orange
Yellow Feathers: Highlight Golden Yellow
Flames: Layer 2:1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow/Fiery Orange, then layer 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Fiery Orange, then layer Fiery Orange, then layer 1:1 Fiery Orange/Blazing Orange, then layer Blazing Orange – then wash heavily watered down Mithril Silver
Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone
Phoenix Flesh: Highlight Bleached Bone
Beak: Highlight 1:1 Bleached Bone/Tausept Ochre
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Seat Padding: Highlight Enchanted Blue
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Highlight Bad Moon Yellow
White Cloth: Highlight Skull White
Eye: Regal Blue, then layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Space Wolves Grey


124.5 Lothern Sky Cutter

Next in painting corner is the Lothern Sky Cutter. Given the first unit I painted for this army, way back when, was the Lothern Sea Guard it was really nice to be painting some of the familiar details again. I equipped mine with an Eagle Eye Bolt Thrower, as it seemed sensible.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3851.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3855.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3858.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3860.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3901.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3902.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3903.jpg)

Just as with the Phoenix I magnetised this to the flying bases. Fortunately consisting of much smaller bits this was significantly easier to magnetise and a whole lot more stable. If you were being picky you'd notice the harness for the Roc doesn't quite line up properly. But you're not being picky so I expect to hear nothing from you. The magnets are a bit more visible in this case, but seem to blend in as detail on the metal work. So I keep telling myself.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3917.jpg)

Another painting guide for you to ignore, but will you be able to live with yourself if you don't find out how I achieved the red on the Sea Guard's shield?

124.6 Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide

Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3906.jpg)

Leather: Scorched Brown
Wood: Steel Legion Drab
Sails and White Fabric: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Darksun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Silver: Chainmail
Gold: Tin Bitz
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Hair: Rakarth Flesh
Seaweed: Dark Angels Green
Vine: Catachan Green
Dragon: Mechrite Red
Sea: 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Chaos Black/Enchanted Blue
Dark Feathers: Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Baneblade Brown
Beak and Claws: Chaos Black
Yellow Beak: Tausept Ochre
Feet: Iyanden Darksun
Ruins: Calthan Brown


Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3904.jpg)

Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Baneblade Brown
Sails and White Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Gold: Shining Gold
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Seaweed: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue
Vine: Pick out leaves in Dark Angels Green
Dragon: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Sea: Layer 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue at top of Shield
Dark Feathers: Wash Nuln Oil, then drybrush 2:1 Graveyard Earth/ Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then drybrush 1:1 Baneblade Brown/ Bleached Bone
Beak and Claws: Highlight 2:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Kommando Khaki
Yellow Beak: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Feet: Wash Ogryn Flesh, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Ruins: Wash Nuln Oil


Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3905.jpg)

Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth
Sails and White Fabric: Layer 1:1 (1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/Skull White, then layer watered down Skull White
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Silver: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Gold: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Flesh: Wash watered down Ogryn Flesh
Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Bleached Bone, then drybrush Bleached Bone
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Dragon: Highlight Blazing Orange, then highlight Vomit Brown
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests
Dark Feathers: Drybrush 2:1 Graveyard Earth/ Scorched Brown
Light Feathers: Drybrush Bleached Bone
Beak and Claws: Highlight 1:1 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone, then highlight 1:2 Chaos Black/Bleached Bone
Yellow Beak: Layer Tausept Ochre
Feet: Layer Iyanden Dark Sun
Ruins: Drybrush Baneblade Brown, then drybrush Rakarth Flesh


Lothern Sky Cutter Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3907.jpg)

Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Bleached Bone, then layer watered down Bleached Bone
Sails and White Fabric: Highlight Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Silver: Highlight Mithril Silver
Gold: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White, then lightly drybrush Skull White
Seaweed: Layer 1:1:3 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Bleached Bone
Vine: DONE
Dragon: Wash Baal Red
Sea: Layer 1:1:1 Dark Angels Green/Enchanted Blue/Space Wolves Grey at top of Shield, and Wave Crests
Dark Feathers: Drybrush Graveyard Earth
Light Feathers: Drybrush 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Beak and Claws: Highlight Bleached Bone
Yellow Beak: Highlight 1:1 Tausept Ochre/Bleached Bone, then highlight Bleached Bone
Feet: Highlight Bleached Bone
Ruins: Drybrush Bleached Bone


124.7 Handmaiden of the Everqueen

I also painted up the Handmaiden of the Everqueen. A relatively simple resin model there's not too much to report. Though I did get to paint boobies! Snigger snigger.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3829.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3830.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3835.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3837.jpg)

To acknowledge her attachment to the realm of Avelorn I added some green detailing in the form of the ribbon on her spear, and the flights of her arrows. In addition to my usual blue and yellow accent colours. I really enjoyed painting the green, a colour that I rarely use - perhaps a Wood Elf army beckons?

The base detailing is just some slate, and brass ivy from the Warhammer Basing Kit.

124.8 Handmaiden of the Everqueen Painting Guide

Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3908.jpg)

Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Outside of Cloak: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skull White
Leather: Scorched Brown
Hair: Snakebite Leather
Inside of Cloak: Iyanden Dark Sun
Blue Trim: 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue
Rocks: Charadon Granite
Vine: Catachan Green
Green Trim: Dark Angels Green
Wood: Steel Legion Drab


Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3909.jpg)

Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Base: Baneblade Brown
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Outside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Layer Desert Yellow, then layer 1:1 Desert Yellow/Ushabti Bone
Inside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Vine: Pick out leaves in Dark Angels Green
Green Trim: 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green, then layer Snot Green
Wood: Baneblade Brown


Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3910.jpg)

Flesh: Wash watered down Reikland Fleshshade
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Outside of Cloak: Layer watered down Skull White
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Hair: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then was Agrax Earthshade in recesses
Inside of Cloak: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Rocks: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Green Trim: Highlight 2:1 Snot Green/Skull White, then highlight 1:1 Snot Green/Skull White
Wood: Layer Graveyard Earth


Handmaiden Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3829.jpg)

Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Outside of Cloak: Highlight Skull White
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Hair: Highlight strands with Ushabti Bone, then tips with Skull White
Inside of Cloak: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Vine: DONE
Green Trim: Wash Thraka Green
Wood: Layer watered down 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Ushabti Bone, then layer watered down Ushabti Bone


124.9 Alarielle, the Everqueen

Why paint one set of boobies when you can paint two? So the handmaiden has someone to attend to I painted up Alarielle. A nice Finecast model, although she does suffer from a bendy staff that just won't repose. Still I think she's come out alright.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3839.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3842.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3845.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3849.jpg)

I painted the shattered Chaos Armour to match that of my Tzeentch Warriors army, because it seemed a nice. Touch. As with the Handmaiden she has a piece of green trim to tie her to Averlorn. A subtle detail I added, which I think worked, though you may not notice, is for her dress I used a warmer base coat then for all my other High Elves. Usually I use Astronomacian Grey, but in this case I swapped it for Rakarth Flesh. It seems to make the dress look lighter and silkier and give her warmth. She still has the standard white I have use on everyone else on her pelt. Just to tie her into the High Elves.

124.10 Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide

Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3911.jpg)

Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Chaos Armour: Chainmail
Chaos Armour Trim: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Robes: 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White
Leather: Scorched Brown
Hair: Rakarth Flesh
Yellow Trim: Iyanden Dark Sun
Vine: Catachan Green
Green Trim: Dark Angels Green
Roses: Scab Red
White Tabard: 1:1 Astronomican Grey/Skill White


Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3912.jpg)

Flesh: Layer 1:1 Elf Flesh/Tallarn Flesh, then layer Elf Flesh
Base: Baneblade Brown
Chaos Armour: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Chaos Armour Trim: Aluric Armour Gold
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Robes: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White)/(1:2 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Rakarth Flesh/Skull White
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Iyanden Dark Sun/Golden Yellow, then layer Golden Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1(1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue)/Ice Blue, then layer Ice Blue
Vine: Highlight Dark Angels Green
Green Trim: 1:1 Dark Angels Green/Snot Green, then layer Snot Green
Roses: Highlight Red Gore
White Tabard: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White)/(1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White), then layer 1:2 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White


Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3913.jpg)

Flesh: Wash watered down Reikland Fleshshade
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Chaos Armour: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Chaos Armour Trim: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Robes: Layer watered down Skull White
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Hair: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Yellow Trim: Layer 1:1 Golden Yellow/Sunburst Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Ice Blue/(1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White), then layer 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White
Vine: Dryrbush Camo Green
Green Trim: Highlight 2:1 Snot Green/Skull White, then highlight 1:1 Snot Green/Skull White
Roses: Highlight Blood Red
White Tabard: Layer watered down Skull White


Alarielle, the Everqueen Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3839.jpg)

Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Elf Flesh/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Chaos Armour: Highlight Mithril Silver
Chaos Armour Trim: Highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver, then highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Robes: Highlight Skull White
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Hair: Highlight strands with Ushabti Bone, then tips with Skull White
Yellow Trim: Wash Ogyrn Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Sunburst Yellow/Bad Moon Yellow, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Blue Trim: DONE
Vine: DONE
Green Trim: Wash Thraka Green
Roses: Wash Baal Red, then highlight Blood Red
White Tabard: Highlight Skull White


124.11 Get in Touch

That's your lot! Good news is I managed my Elf pledge of 2014 to paint one of each of the new(ish) kits - Sisters of Averlorn, Sky Cutter, Phoenix, Loremaster, Handmaiden and Alarielle. Quite fancy adding some Shadow Warriors and a Frostheart Phoenix. But they will have to wait.

Remember as always I'd love your comments here, or on Twitter @ProbyNumbers see you next time!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on June 18, 2014, 11:11:47 am
Amazing birdies, the flames on the Phoenix are amazing
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 20, 2014, 12:43:59 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on June 18, 2014, 11:11:47 am
Amazing birdies, the flames on the Phoenix are amazing

Thank you sir! Out of orange and yellow paint now!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 23, 2014, 08:28:33 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 125 Blood, Sweat and Hobby Tears for the Blood God Monday 23rd June 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

It's the return of the blog that's about as popular and enthusiastic as the voice of Phil Neville – I made a football joke, you should be so proud... I can use Google.

125.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 2

So Week 2 into the Tale of OG Gamers and I'm already four weeks behind. How is that even possible? I jest, but only because this is kind of a dummy month that doesn't count before we get into the painting round proper, as soon as we do I will be behind. Fate has determined it.

In fairness I've spent this week immersing myself into Warriors of Chaos goodness. As a large chunk of this project is focussing on finishing my Warriors army with the recent(ish) releases, I have kept myself entertained by going back over those White Dwarfs from the latest two Warriors of Chaos waves; hoping hobby lust will encourage feats of speed and dexterity.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3918.jpg)

And in fairness it's got me excited about constructing Foresaken and Chaos Chariots, we'll see how long that lasts. Probably not up until the point when I have a chance to build them.

Additionally I've carved a rune of the Chaos Gods into my arm using a sacred blade of the Dark Lords.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3919.jpg)

Remember children I am a trained expert and you really shouldn't try this as dabbling with the Dark Gods of Heinz is a dangerous thing – I have a terrible stain on my T-shirt that my regular washing powder just won't shift.

Whereas on my other hand I suffered a nasty paper cut on my index finger which I've dedicated to Slaanesh.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3920.jpg)

Any way given June is sort of a warm up month in preparation for the proper kick off next month, I've decided to set myself a target of finishing my part painted Manticore kit - as a sort of bonus model. In fairness my proposed army list (more on that next week) doesn't really have any characters in, as I'm pretty much covered for those with my existing army. So by awarding this Manticore rider an honorary place in my army it makes it more fun to field against the other people taking part in this Tale of OG Gamers – who are painting armies for other games' systems and giving up after Week 1.

Veteran readers with very, very grey beards might recognise this as the Manticore Kit I bought in Update 4 (yes you read that right Update 4 – 121 updates ago!) After vowing it mustn't be one of those kits that sits on the shelf for years. I started building it in Update 17, toyed with the idea of finishing it Update 93 and actually finished building it in Update 112 and started painting it a few months back. I clearly need help. Plus a boost with the Manticore would be useful too.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3921.jpg)

Here's where I am so far with the Manticore, it's pretty much there, there's just a few last highlights and then assemblies to do. Foolishly I've set myself the challenge of using some water effects on the base, so that will take about 6,000 months to set. So that'll be ready around Update 245.

That's pretty much all I have to say this week. Again I've not said much but I've drawn it out as I'm paid by the word. But unlike England's World Cup Team I will be returning for Week 3. Wow I am on fire with the football jokes, it's almost like I know what I am talking about.

125.2 Get In Touch

Remember encouragement or abuse or chocolate is always welcome. So feel free to either reply here or give me a virtual French kiss on Twitter @ProbyNumbers – you probably won't catch anything.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on June 30, 2014, 08:55:38 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 126 The Waiting Game Monday 30th June 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

126.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 3

Yes it's Week 3 already, although technically next week is Week 1. As June doesn't really count and the Tale of OG Gamers begins in July. But I've started the branding now and I love a good numbering system so I'm not prepared to mess it up now.

What have I achieved? This week I'm referring to, not in my whole life that would be far too depressing to consider. Well avid reader you will remember that last week I showed off my nearly finished Manticore, which is my bonus June model designed to whet my appetite so that by next week I'm salivating all over frames of unassembled Foresaken like a rabid dog who hasn't seen any Pedigree Chum since 2009.

The good news I've finished said Manticore's painting:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3922.jpg)

Woooo! Bad news is I'm waiting for some Water Effects to dry on its base. I've slopped on my Water Effects, which looks worrying like Thrush Cream - don't ask how I know. HS2 is likely to be completed before the Water Effects has dried.

And now it's just waiting for it to dry...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3923.jpg)

Waiting...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3924.jpg)

And waiting...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3925.jpg)

And waiting...

In fact I was so bored I nearly considered watching England play Costa Rica. Nearly.

I even nearly considered assembling my Cockatrice in the intervening time.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3937.jpg)

Nah, no one is ever going to use that!

Then it finally dried yesterday...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3935.jpg)

So I could put the next coat on.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3936.jpg)

And wait some more...

However while waiting for my Manticore's base to dry, I did get a chance to head along to the award winning (should be if it isn't) OG Games club to play the award winning Lustria – Return to Port campaign, with my non-award winning High Elf army.

You may, or may not have realised that excitingly this blog is now being simulcast; you could be reading it on either the OG Games Forum or reading it on the OG Games Meet Up page, or most likely reading it on neither. Simulcasting is a TV word to try and capture the excitement of a single programme being shown on multiple channels at once. Even though in reality all it means is you are getting less choice than you usually get!

If you are reading on our Meet Up page (or possibly even our forum) you might not know all about our club. So let me introduce you. OG Games' nights take part in our Wandsworth based gaming room. Conveniently situated above a naturally occurring red wine spring - though other drinks can be purchased too if you prefer. Every Thursday and a lot of Saturdays (though I being stupid haven't quite figured out their pattern of occurrence) a nice bunch of people (I'm not there most weeks) turn up to play a variety of games in a civilised fashion. These games range from Games Workshop games to Magic to board games to Hide and Seek when it's time to collect the £2 fee. Of course the laws of statistics mean that a small percentage of any group of gamers must include a token number of weirdoes and our group is no exception. If you're not sure who I am referring to, I am also certainly referring to you. Still you quickly get used to the site of seeing so many electronic tagging devices in the same room, and eventually you'll feel confident enough to put down your spray can of mace and take part in the wide range of games we have on offer.

One of the most distinguishing features about the club is the mystical carpet we have, which manages the unnatural trick of being the exactly same colour as whatever dice is dropped upon it. It shouldn't be possible, but somehow it is, and no matter what colour of dice you use, it will be completely impossible to find on the carpet. On first arrival at the club you might think it odd that you need to step up a steep 14 inch step to enter the club room, but in actual fact that 14 inchstep is just a huge sea of lost dice that you have to step onto in order to enter the room.

You might think that it's all just games, but no there's a social aspect too – annoyingly for anti-social people like me that would like to avoid all human contact as much as is physically possible. Conversations on Thursday included one with Steve about whether I could become the OG Games equivalent of Luis Suarez and start biting my opponents. A story which when regaled to Giles (my opponent on Thursday) didn't so much provoke a response of laughter – more backing away like he'd just been spoken to by a predatory stalker. Still at least it's someone else I won't have to talk to next time I turn up.

In other news some women wandered into the club, I know, weird – someone had to explain to me what women were. They didn't seem to be too scared, and politely asked all about the games – perhaps their feet were caught in the undulating carpet of discarded dice and they were making small talk to mask their desperate struggle to reach the fire exit. We'll never know, their bodies have probably now been completely engulfed by the D6 flooring, and they'll never been seen again.

So there you go that's the club, if you want to know how my game went on you'll have to make sure you turn over to the OG Games Forum, as this is where the simulcast on the Meet up forum ends. Unless you're already here, in which case keep reading – it's confusing.

126.2 Return to Port Cadavo Round 2

Back in Update 123 I introduced you to Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden as his motley band of High Elf Children's Entertainers. If that sounds bonkers you may need to flick back and have a read (it will still sound bonkers but at least you may have some context).

Anyway it's Round 2 now and the hunt for the sacred Lizardmen plaques continues as Soot-ridden forces his way through the dense undergrowth.

The scenario was called 'Claim the Ruins' and I faced Giles' Orc & Goblin army consisting of a handful of Goblins, some Savage Orcs, a Black Orc Boss and worryingly a Troll! The idea was simply to be in control of three ruins located in the centre of the table by the end of the game. What could possibly go wrong...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3926.jpg)

Soot-ridden pushed past another exotic plant, he and his team were hot, exhausted and covered in mud. It reminded him of an ill-fated visit to Glaston-Loren when he was a much younger Elf. The scent ahead changed, it was still damp, but the wind bought a different flavour of damp. It was the unmistakable smell of the vile Orcs and the smaller cousins, but this was where Soot-ridden's map indicated the plaques could be.

The Elves advanced towards the ruins, but they could hear the greenskins advancing too – unlike the Lizardmen, they weren't quiet in their advance.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3927.jpg)

Before they knew it a massive Troll thundered through the undergrowth. Shadow Warrior – Phoenix Flan Flinger fled the Troll.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3928.jpg)

But instead the rampaging beast turned his attention on Silver Helm – The Whiteish Knight vomiting all over the noble Elf dissolving him, his armour and his horse.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3929.jpg)

In response to this threat Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden downed his Potion of Strength and along with Spearman Pat and Lothern Sea Guard Pugwash charged into the Troll.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3930.jpg)

Sister of Avelorn Yvette loosed her magic bow against a Savage Orc, but couldn't penetrate the dense foliage. In combat the Elves combined attack failed as Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden couldn't hit the Troll, wasting his Potion of Strength. And neither the Spearmen nor Sea Guard could score a wound on the Troll. Meanwhile the Troll wounded Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden. It was all too much for Sea Guard Pugwash who fled the carnage.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3931.jpg)

In response the Savage Orc charges Sister of Avelorn Yvette who loosed her bow, but yet again couldn't hit. While the Black Orc Boss charges Phoenix Guard Soot-ridden to aid the Troll.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3932.jpg)

While innumerable Goblins swarm over the Lizardmen ruins claiming them. The Savage Orc kills Sister Yvette, the Troll and the Black Orc kill Soot-ridden and Spearmen Pat.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3933.jpg)

Sea Guard Pugwash rallies, whereas Shadow Warrior – Phoenix Flan Flinger's pot shot against the Troll misses. The Troll recharges Sea Guard Pugwash who decides to flee rather than face the beast again. The Goblins and Savage Orcs consolidate their hold on the ruins.

White Lion Pat Sharp Knee charges into the Savage Orc that took Sister Yvette's life killing him in vengeance. In response the Goblins open fire on White Lion Pat Sharp Knee remarkably a Goblin scores an impressive hit through the undergrowth that fails to score a wound. However another Goblin uses the Last Chance Arrow to kill the White Lion.

However with over half the army dead, the remaining Elves decide to flee the ruins leaving the Orcs in control.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3934.jpg)

Several hours later the Elves regrouped, they'd lost the ruins. But fortunately something Soot-ridden had picked up in the Glaston-Loren toilets had protected them from the carnage.


So despite my early victories in Round 1, I'd returned to my usual form in Round 2. I blame the Troll, and Giles, and the weather and the England football team.

Anyway I still scored the following points:

+200 Gold for showing up
+50 Gold for playing a new opponent – Giles
+1,000 Gold for having cool hair

So it wasn't all a loss.

126.3 Get In Touch

That's your lot for this week. Go away. But you can follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers if you are not offended by that last instruction.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 07, 2014, 08:15:50 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 127 And We're Off!! Monday 7th July 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

127.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 4

So after three weeks of prattling around poking a Manticore with a paintbrush it's time for the Tale of OG Gamers to begin. As Dermot O'Leary would say "The Painting Lines are Open" along with "Shut up Louis Walsh".

So after teasing you with hints of what I'm painting over the last three weeks - like a flirtatious little hussy. I can now tell you that this pile of boxes, which I've collected over the last year and thought "I must get round to painting these" (along with "shut up Louis Walsh"), makes up my painting challenge.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3941.jpg)

It's all pretty straight forward - the Ogre Ironguts are going to be Chaos Ogres in a conversion much less original than Annie converting a My Little Pony Princess Castle into a Chaos Dwarf Lord on Bull Centaur. And the plain box isn't actually a shed load of cigarettes, but it's Chaos Dwarf Hellcannon - those things are deeply addictive, can't display them on the packet in case we corrupt any children to them. Their wallet would die should they get addicted to Chaos Dwarfs.

Wow three mentions of Chaos Dwarfs in one paragraph, that's more than the last ten years of White Dwarfs.

Any how this month my target is to paint up my 20 Forsaken to form the bulk of the core of my supplementary army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3938.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3939.jpg)

One of the advantages of the Forsaken is that they have no command models, so my 20 can easily be deployed in units of 10 or 5 or whatever as I see fit.

The corresponding disadvantage is that this is a Tzeentch army, and so I will be assembling and painting them as Tzeentch Forsaken - even though that's a rubbish choice. For Forsaken Mark of Tzeentch gives them Magic Resistance (2) – useful to precisely no one. I am guessing they don't have the usual 6+ Ward save due to their potential to roll a 5+ Ward save as one of their bonuses. Still I wouldn't object to a 4+ Ward save. Besides any one worth playing a game against won't mind if I take them as an alternative mark/unmarked even though they are daubed in Tzeentch colours. Though knowing me I'll just use them as Tzeentch anyway! Who cares about winning, it's the themeing that's important - and the cake, that is very important (I don't know where the cake came from)!

What follows now are a serious of weak comedic photos of the assembly of my Forsaken.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3942.jpg)

These Forsaken cost me an arm and a leg, or should that be a tentacle and a leg! HA HA HA.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3940.jpg)

These Forsaken are taking me Forages to build...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3943.jpg)

...but don't worry I'm building them Formyarmy HA HA HA.

Enough.

So comedy's not working, how about tension? With 20 Forsaken assembled would I have enough sand to base them all? If I didn't it would be a disaster, as I'd have to go to Games Workshop and buy some more. This would delay me completely, any chance of staying on schedule destroyed at the first hurdle - would I be able to do it with such a limited amount of sand?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3946.jpg)

Maybe it would help if you played some tension music while you read the rest of this piece.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3951.jpg)

The first five had been based, incidentally I PVA glued sand onto the base, then once that is dry washed over it with watered down PVA glue to seal it in place. This is no time for tips though, there's models to glue and I'm running low on sand!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3947.jpg)

We've made it up to 10 based.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3952.jpg)

And now 15.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3953.jpg)

But the sand is running very low, will we do it?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3948.jpg)

We're up to 19 Forsaken based now, we're nearly there.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3954.jpg)

But have we got enough sand for the final model? It's touch and go, but yes we have!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3955.jpg)

With just a few grains left...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3949.jpg)

But with one hurdle overcome would another hurdle trip us up straight away. Would there be enough Chaos Black undercoat for the models. If there wasn't then all the work of the basing would be undone, the project would be derailed at this early stage and the models would not be finished in time. This was a critical juncture.

But it was ok. Turns out I even had a spare can of Chaos Black and so they were all undercoated...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3956.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3957.jpg)

Hope the tension wasn't too much to bare. It's like Masterchef. Undercoating doesn't get tougher than this.

The kit comes with a liberal sprinkling of Chaos God symbols. So I added a few Tzeentch ones to choice models in the unit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3944.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3950.jpg)

And all the symbols of the heathen gods were burnt. Scum.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3945.jpg)

Due to all the burning, breathing in of noxious fumes and rushing to the hospital there wasn't any time to slap on a bit of colour. Oh well.

So there's where we are after Week 1 or 4 or 55 depending on how you are counting. I'm off on holidays later this week, but hopefully they'll be chance for some painting and a brief update!

127.2 Get In Touch

I'm on Twitter @ProbyNumbers sometimes I say useful things.

Oh and incidentally if anyone has any of the aforementioned Tzeentch symbols from the Forsaken kit (or any other kits), do let me know I'd be happy to find a home for them. Beer, sexual favours or !@%$#%@ will be offered in return!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 21, 2014, 08:39:18 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 128 Sun, Sea and Slopping on Paint Monday 21st July 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

128.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Weeks 5 & 6

Last week there was no blog update. Did you miss me? Did you notice more like? Come on you need to put more into this relationship. Well fearless reader(s) in case you worried, I was off browning my skin - not through Agrax Earthshade spillages, but through Vitamin D exposure on my holidays!!

Yes a very long weekend on the island of Guernsey was just the trick, though don't worry judgemental painting overlords it was a working holiday.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3959.jpg)

It wasn't just reading material though, as many paints were smuggled into my hold luggage to be liberally applied in a bid to help whittle down the painting mountain.

Of course there was still time to observe the beautiful scenery on a coastal walk.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3960.jpg)

Though I spent most of this walk imagining that this coastline was being assailed by Dark Elf raiding parties and High Elves were valiantly holding them back. I probably need to have a word with myself to be honest.

Still there was real life drama on the island of Guernsey as I survived a magnitude 4.2 earthquake that shook the island to its very knees.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3958.jpg)

There were many stories in the local media of the damage. One woman thought the neighbours had slammed their door; someone else witnessed the perfume bottles on her vanity unit rattle. Whilst a man in the local technology shop thought it was part of a new interactive iPad demonstration he was watching. Genuinely all those stories were reported, none were from my imagination!

I will be holding a survivor's concert though to raise money for those traumatised by the event. Please do give generously it all goes to an important fund (and definitely not my model allowance)!

Despite all this carnage there was still time for some relaxed painting. Seriously who wouldn't enjoy painting in this environment?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3963.jpg)

And the good news is that I've managed to lick off a couple of stage of my Forsaken unit. As is typical for me there's painting guide for no one to read. And before you say it, no I wasn't painting these during the earthquake – rude!!

128.2 Forsaken Painting Guide Stages 1-2

Forsaken Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3961.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3962.jpg)

Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey
Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Boots, Belts and Straps: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Blue Cloth: Necron Abyss
Flesh: Rakarth Flesh
Flames: Skull White
Light Blue Trim: Shadow Grey


Forsaken Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3964.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3965.jpg)

Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Base: Baneblade Brown
Skulls/Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Boots, Belts and Straps: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade
Chainmail: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade
Light Gold Metal: Auric Armour Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Blue Cloth: Layer Regal Blue
Flesh: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade or Carroburg Crimson or Cassandora Yellow or Leviathan Purple
Flames: Layer Bad Moon Yellow, then layer Sunburst Yellow
Light Blue Trim: Layer Space Wolves Grey


128.3 Get In Touch

Ok so I haven't sent you a postcard, sorry get over it. But if you want to tell me how amazing I am you can. Just feel free to comment here, and/or harass me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers I literally can't wait. No literally, I have nothing else to do...

Still waiting...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on July 21, 2014, 05:10:13 pm
I still don't see the point of Forsaken (I mean, they're spawn right?  But not full spawn yet?  Why?) but those are looking suitable lurid.  9 days to get them done, tick tock!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 21, 2014, 08:36:48 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on July 21, 2014, 05:10:13 pm
I still don't see the point of Forsaken (I mean, they're spawn right?  But not full spawn yet?  Why?) but those are looking suitable lurid.  9 days to get them done, tick tock!

Chaos Spawn-lite I like to refer to them as. Yes I need to get painting, I have a bloody wedding to go this weekend as well - wrong to paint in the church during the service?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on July 21, 2014, 08:43:08 pm
Glad to see you put your holiday to good use. Guernsey is a nice place.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 22, 2014, 10:18:20 am
Quote from: roland murat on July 21, 2014, 08:43:08 pm
Glad to see you put your holiday to good use. Guernsey is a nice place.

Yes it's lovely, I could retire there (today if possible)!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on July 29, 2014, 08:40:37 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 129 Oops I Did It Again! Tuesday 29th July 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

129.1 The Next Project

So something bad has happened since we last spoke, no I haven't been questioned under Operation Yew Tree. Nor have I developed a new biogenic weapon. But nearly as bad, I may have decided to start a new army. Oops. How did this happen?

Well firstly it's worth pointing out I've been considering a new army for a little while. My High Elves are pretty much done.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN592.jpg)
*yes I need to do a full army shot with my few new bits – it's a lot of effort!!

I'm thinking of adding a Frostheart Phoenix as I enjoyed painting the flaming one. Maybe some Shadow Warriors as the new kit is cool. And maybe Eltharion the Grim just for completeness - and model nostalgia. Which actually isn't very much!

The Beastmen are even closer to being there.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2668.jpg)

I have a handful of special characters for these on the painting table which I'm planning to sort out for them. And barring new book and a shed load of new models, I'm done for the Beastmen.

The Warriors of Chaos are supposed to be taking up the bulk of my painting time at present.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2432.jpg)
*this is a really old army shot, I really must take a new one!!

Which they are sort of, more on that later in this blog. But supposing I finish my Tale of OG Gamers. Possibly a big suppose. But if so this army will be complete by Christmas.

That leaves my classic Dwarf army which I'm likely to be revisiting with the odd model/unit in response to the new book/releases.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3966.jpg)
*turns out I have no photos of my Dwarf army – something I will rectify soon, in the meantime here are three Dwarf Rangers!!

And lastly there's my Ultramarine army. I'm enjoying painting the Ultramarines. I've even added some bits, which I'll mention in a bit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN2965.jpg)
*ok this is a rubbish army shot, but if you're good I'll take a new one!!

Ok this army isn't quite a finished army, but they're pretty close to decent table top size (currently just short of 1,500 points) - and to be honest there's only so much blue plus a few details I can paint in one sitting!!

So what is the next project going to be? Well I've toyed with a number of Warhammer armies for a while Dark Elves (or possibly Wood Elves) would make a fun counterpoint to my High Elves - painting new versions of designs/styles I'm very familiar with. Bretonnians and Orcs & Goblins are also up there - I have classic 4th/5th edition armies of both these. And then there's always been a temptation to paint The Empire - I seem to remember someone putting it well in a White Dwarf, or similar, that "The Empire are interesting as they are the eyes and ears through which we see the rest of the Warhammer world".  Which I think is very good way of explaining my long standing temptation to dabble with these guys.

However I've not done any of these. The problem with Warhammer armies is that I got interested in Warhammer as a young teen, and generally you have the strongest feelings for the things you enjoyed at that age. What this means is that I have an affinity to each of the units, for example when I painted my High Elves - Shadow Warriors, Phoenix Guard, Dragon Princes, Lothern Sea Guard have all been kicking around in my mind since then - and the collector in me wants to paint them all! And whilst that would be fun to start another Warhammer army, knowing that I would want a unit of 40 Night Goblins with Bows, and with Spears or all the Dark Elf units or the full set of Bretonnians, seems both a daunting expense. Plus it's going to take up a huge amount of room and cost - neither of which are at a great abundance presently. It's not a "no" to a new Warhammer army forever - just now feels like a bad time. Conversely Warhammer 40,000 is new to me, it doesn't have a history. I've enjoyed painting up some new Ultramarines every now and again - but I don't feel a compulsion to complete the book. I paint the models I like or feel like they are missing from the table top and that's it. It's quite refreshing really. In fact a few months ago I undercoated a load of individual models from different armies.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3967.jpg)

And I've been flitting between these models ever since, a few have been finished and made it to this blog, others are still to come. But don't worry I will bore you with then at some point.

Anyway the point of all this waffle is that a new Warhammer 40,000 army would add a new small set of models I can flit between alongside odd bits and pieces for my current armies.m And so I've made a decision... and the new army will be. Drum roll please. Brrrbrbrbrbrbr - how do you write the sound of a drum roll? Sorry I'm distracted. The next army will be... Orks (with a k not a c). Durr durr durrrhhhh!

129.2 New Army Guilt

Cue bit where I justify to you and myself why this isn't such a bad idea, to mitigate the guilt I'm feeling – come on we all know that sensation?!!!!

Ok so after saying I can't collect a massive army, I go for a big horde army? What am I thinking? Well no, it's not that bad, though I was tricked chiefly by a good opportunity. Yes I will be picking up the Storm Claw, in fairness Tom C will be keeping the Space Wolves and I'm going halves for the Orks, plus we'll have shared custody of the new small format rule book.

Given I spent £18 hunting down the 6th edition rule book on eBay, £30 ish for access to the rule book and a decent number of Orks doesn't seem that bad. Plus I already have all the Orks from Assault on Black Reach, that I bought to start my Ultramarines. So my logic is I get a decent sized painting project underway for £30ish, plus the cost of a few new colours and probably the Codex. I get to paint Greenskins, without opening up the Pandora's box of thousands of pounds of Savage Orcs, Forest Goblins and Snotling Pump Wagons. If I like painting the Orks I could add a few more, some of the new kits look good. But no great loss if I don't, I only spent £30 on models!

Obviously this is the plan, cut to four years later when I have painted an entire Goff clan and defaulted on the rent!

Another advantage of this is both me and Tom like the idea of trying out some themed linked battles to help hone our Warhammer 40,000 rules knowledge (in my case learn). So the box set will hopefully do that!

129.3 Ultramarine Painting Corner

Above I mentioned I'd made a few additions to my Ultramarines. After recent games I've realised my army is primarily full of Troop choices. Good for the basics, but it really lacks the killer punch of some Heavy Support. So I've added a Vindicator – after borrowing one of these in a game and seeing how everyone backed away from it, it seems impressive. And a Devastator Squad to bring some extra Heavy Weapons – yes I know I shouldn't have painted a mix of heavy weapons, they should have four the same for maximum efficiency. But that looks dull. After some advice I've tried to choose weapons that all have similar range so at least they should all manage to shoot when picking off a target.

So here's the new units...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3968.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3971.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3975.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3981.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3982.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3985.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4006.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4007.jpg)

And as a treat here's the army as it currently stands...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4001.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4008.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4009.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4010.jpg)

A perfect counter point to the Orks I'm about to start. In fact if this was 5th edition you could say my painting was topical!

129.4 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 7

Oh and finally onto the thing I am supposed to be doing...

We've got a handful of days of July left, the good news I have to report is that I'm broadly on track to finish the Forsaken by then. The good news is this is by far the biggest unit for this army. So in terms of effort I think this is the hardest month under control. Obviously I'm always insanely busy towards the end of the year, but who knows this could actually happen!

Do I have anything to add about my army progress this week? Any exciting anecdotes?

Errr.... No. But I've at least painted Stage 3!

129.5 Forsaken Painting Guide Stage 3

Forsaken Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4011.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4012.jpg)

Wood: DONE
Base: Baneblade Brown
Skulls/Horns: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Rakarth Flesh
Boots, Belts and Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Chainmail: Drybrush Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: NONE
Blue Trim: Layer 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Flesh: Layer Rakarth Flesh
Flames: Layer Golden Yellow, then layer Fiery Orange
Light Blue Cloak: Wash Drakenhof Nightshade


129.6 Get In Touch

That's your lot this week, hopefully next week I'll be telling you about how I've finished my first month's models for the Tale of OG Gamers, or failing that I won't write anything. In the meantime do get in contact on here, or on Twitter @ProbyNumbers

Until Update 130...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on August 03, 2014, 06:00:19 pm
Man I don't know how you have the motivation to paint all this, great work.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 03, 2014, 08:52:18 pm
Quote from: Berimbolo on August 03, 2014, 06:00:19 pm
Man I don't know how you have the motivation to paint all this, great work.

I don't get out much! :thumbsup: Cheers much appreciated.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 05, 2014, 08:44:12 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 130 A Brief Gasp of Success! Tuesday 5th August 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

130.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 8

So the time of reckoning is upon us (technically it passed last week but you're ruining the mood by bringing that up). This is the time that will make or break heroes, this is the time that will see cities fall and civilizations tumble. Have I painted my 20 Forsaken by the end of July (cough cough I know it's the 5th of August)? (I have also realised finally it is spelt "Forsaken", not "Foresaken" apologies to all of you grinding your teeth in British anger at my spelling)

Well the good news is yes I have. 20 Forsaken done, yes it is a couple of days late, but in fairness this is probably the biggest quantity of models I'll be doing of any month so I am sure none of you will complain. Failure to comply will result in me smacking you with a wet flip flop.

Here's some juicy photos to whet your appetite. Of course there is a full photo guide to come!! I know you don't care, but I don't care you don't care even if you don't care that I don't care that you don't care. I still don't care.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4015.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4021.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4028.jpg)

I have to be honest I wasn't sure whether I'd like the Forsaken models. There's a tendency with Chaos Mutations for the models and conversions to go over the top and look a bit too comical in my opinion. Things like the old Chaos Mutations frame spring to mind, plus sometimes I see Chaos conversions on Twitter/Games Workshop magazines that look downright daft. There's clearly a huge potential for the Forsaken to cross that line, and while a couple of the parts probably do, what has won me over is the fact that these models take a lot of cues from the Chaos Warrior kit - even though it's far older. Whilst some of the heads are a bit crazy, I like the fact that the armour they are bursting through is very much like the Chaos Armour of the Chaos Warriors, they even share the same boots - those that wear boots! So while the Forsaken probably are never going to replace Chaos Warriors, Chosen and Chaos Knights in terms of what I think a Chaos Warrior should be. I have enjoyed painting them and adding them to my collection.

Painting wise it's my usual Tzeentch painting colour scheme. I added an extra glaze of Guilliman Blue to the silver armour and really liked it - so may have to go back and add that to all my army. Fortunately I suspect you can't glaze over a varnish coat so I might be saved from that chore. Otherwise it was the skin that was unique to these models. I didn't want to paint them just solely bright blues/pinks/purples as that richness of tone I think is reserved for Daemons and Chaos Spawn, so instead I painted them a neutral colour (Rakarth Flesh) before washing them with the colours of Tzeentch (blue, pink, purple or yellow) then highlighting them up with neutral colours (Rakarth Flesh then Ushabti Bone). This seemed to do a good job of giving them an unnatural skin colour, but not quite taking them all the way up to the full on mutated level of Spawn.

Anyway enough of this waffle and onto the painting guide (contain yourselves). Here's Stage 4:

130.2 Forsaken Painting Guide Stage 4

Forsaken Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4018.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4025.jpg)

Wood: DONE
Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone, then flock with Scorched Grass, then Citadel Snow, then Citadel Snow (with Skull White paint)
Skulls/Horns: Layer Ushabti Bone
Boots, Belts and Straps: Highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: Wash Gulliman Blue
Chainmail: Wash Gulliman Blue
Light Gold Metal: DONE
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Flesh: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Flames: Highlight Blazing Orange
Light Blue Cloak: Highlight Space Wolves Grey


130.3 Get In Touch

Time for a lie down and a rest. What do you mean I've got to now start painting August's models? Aggghhh!!!! Well in the meantime you can get in touch as usual, comments or Twitter: @ProbyNumbers - all welcome all appreciated!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 11, 2014, 10:20:44 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 131 That Shrinking Feeling Monday 11th August 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

131.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 9

Last update you saw the first completed models in my Tale as I finally finished July's target (only 5 days late). And completed my 20 Forsaken, bringing (and forming) my army so far to:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4015.jpg)

CORE
20x Foresaken         380 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      20 points
400 points

TOTAL: 400 points

So what's this month's painting task, I vaguely hear you mumble in complete disinterest. Well despite complete mocking from all corners, my Warriors of Chaos army doesn't feature a single chariot. Yes I know they are the optimum gaming choice for ultimate hobby ruining - but chariots scare me - the sub-assemblies never go together and you end up with a finished model that has one horse floating in the air and has been so forcefully pinned together that the base has warped in response. But the time is near I intend to step up to this phobia and face the chariots. I won't be painting 19 you understand that wouldn't be fun in any shape or form - to buy, to paint, to assemble, to transport to the club, to play with, to play against - all of it would be about as much fun as a convention on dentistry. So instead I am aiming for the much more modest target of 2 Chariots - a standard Chaos Chariot and a Gorebeast Chariot. I am tempted to add a second standard chariot but I don't have the models at present and besides three chariots in a month might kill me.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4039.jpg)

Time has been a bit pressing this week, but the good news is that I have managed to take the Chariots out of their shrink wrap. New hobbyists might be wondering how I achieved such a Herculean feet, well wonder no more as I present this stage by stage guide for removing shrink wrap.

131.2 Shrink Wrap Removing Guide

First up take your shrink wrap sealed box.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4029.jpg)

There are a number of ways of opening the shrink wrap. The best technique is to locate the seam in the shrink wrap.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4030.jpg)

Then you can use a sharp fingernail to rip along the seam.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4032.jpg)

Or failing that a sharp object, such as a Citadel Modelling Tool. Remember to always cut away from yourself. You may need to get an adult to help you here.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4031.jpg)

If that technique doesn't work for you the other options is to find a large flat section of the box.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4033.jpg)

Then use your two fingers to push hard apart in opposite directions to try and form a tear in the shrink wrap.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4034.jpg)

It is not recommended you use a sharp object to puncture the shrink wrap here as you may damage the box.

Once you have formed an initial tear grab one end of the exposed shrink wrap and pull away, widening the hole as you go.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4035.jpg)

With that done you can now remove the box from the shrink wrap

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4036.jpg)

And then discard the shrink wrap.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4037.jpg)

You are now free to open the box and remove the contents.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4038.jpg)

Ok I'll come clean I've done nothing this week. I've wasted your time and mine. I am truly sorry.

131.3 Get In Touch

If you wish to complain further then please contact me by relying below or contacting me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers - I will go away now and think about what I've done.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 11, 2014, 12:11:33 pm
All that time spent taking photos of the shrink wrap, you could have built one    :spank: :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 11, 2014, 03:29:25 pm
Quote from: fatolaf on August 11, 2014, 12:11:33 pm
All that time spent taking photos of the shrink wrap, you could have built one    :spank: :wink;m::

If we extend that logic too far this blog wouldn't exist and I would have painted up about 20 more armies by now!!  :wink;m:: I will let you decide whether that would be a good thing or not!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 18, 2014, 10:41:55 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 132 Pimp My Chariot Monday 18th August 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

132.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 10

So after last week's disappointing performance, I have taken the hobbiest's equivalent of Viagra and have pumped out a load of gluing action. I disgusted myself during that metaphor.

Basically I've built my two Chaos Chariots.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4040.jpg)
Sorry about the focus issues – the picture not m writing!

There are a lot of sub-assemblies (sarcastic yay), and quite a lot of fiddly bits of reigns that even the thought of assembling is giving me palpitations. But fingers crossed.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4041.jpg)

As is my way the Chariots are mainly built straight from the box (though that phrase does imply a whole lot less procrastination than actually occurred) though I did find a few choice bits and pieces from my Warriors bits box to add. I shall now detail these, in the absence of any better content and in the foolish believe that someone reading this might be wondering where that bit came from. They aren't.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4042.jpg)

I added these small Tzeentch symbols, left over from the Forsaken kit, as extra detailing on the chassis.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4043.jpg)

These chains I added from the Marauder Horseman kit, alongside the tassels from the actual Chariot kit itself. I added these at a jaunty angle to give the impression of speed!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4044.jpg)

And lastly I added this Tzeentch symbol from the old metal Bitz pack of symbols Games Workshop used to make. The main point of note here is, this is the only time I used superglue on this model, which I then proceeded to get all over my favourite shorts. Which is my own fault, because literally moments before I thought how neat I am and never spill superglue. Grrr.

I did consider adding one of the Finecast Tzeentch banners to either of the Chariots but both had fabric elements that were hanging straight down and would have betrayed the look of speed - no amount of jaunty angle was going to fix that!

I do quite like the chariot kit, it definitely has the heavy chunk of metal look that a Chaos Warrior chariot should have. And is a thousand times easier to assemble than its old metal counterpart! My only criticism might be there's not really many options for the crew (bar heads and axe).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4045.jpg)

If you were building 19 of these, let's face it some people are, they'd look very similar! There aren't any options for the horses, though the Gorebeast can be made with or without his helmet - which is good because I don't really like the helmet!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4046.jpg)

So I think maybe less fiddly reins components and another breastplate of two would be nice!! Though after painting an extensive number of Beastmen and High Elf chariots for my armies, it's nice to finally paint one with scythes on (stupid Elves and Beastmen)! Finally I get a +1 for my impact hits, which I've been suffering against all my rivals, bringing my average impact hits score up to a mighty 2. Don't laugh you know I'm right.

132.2 Get In Touch

That's it, no I know still no painting, do feel free to shout abuse at me for all the usual things plus not coming down the club - I know, I know, though I do have a litany of passable excuses!! Comments on here or at Twitter @ProbyNumbers always welcome!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on August 18, 2014, 09:19:33 pm
As good as the Chariot box is, you are bang on about them all looking the same, I think you'd have to do some serious work to make them look different. This blog does give me some motivation to do my own and crack on with the HE. What are you working on next?

Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 19, 2014, 11:11:08 pm
Quote from: Berimbolo on August 18, 2014, 09:19:33 pm
As good as the Chariot box is, you are bang on about them all looking the same, I think you'd have to do some serious work to make them look different.

Yeah don't get me wrong lovely model compared to it's predecessor, but other than choosing my type of chariot I wasn't really presented with any options. In fairness the same can probably be said of the High Elf Chariot (though think there are more crew choices), but back when that came out the option for two chariots from one kit was new and exciting! Now that's old hat and my expectations have risen!!

Quote from: Berimbolo on August 18, 2014, 09:19:33 pm
This blog does give me some motivation to do my own and crack on with the HE. What are you working on next?

Cheers that's really nice to hear! Next for the Warriors will probably be either Chaos Ogres, or maybe Throgg, hmmm... beyond the Warriors if time allows hoping to get some Terrain, Beastmen Characters and Ultramarines painted up. Though something else may have stolen my interest before that choice happens!!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 27, 2014, 12:48:30 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 133 Going Back into the Closet Wednesday 27th August 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

133.1 Storage Solutions – The Joy of Middle Age

So what's been my most exciting hobby purchase of 2014? Is it my Flamespyre Phoenix? Is it the Stormclaw starter box set? How about the Wood Elf army book? Warhammer: Nagash? Nope, none of these. It has in fact been my new model cupboard!!!!

Yes I've started getting excited about cupboards - there's no hope for me! But look it is such an exciting cupboard.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4049.jpg)

I've added a Warhammer Army book for scale, it's a pretty tall cupboard. And admittedly doesn't look too much at present. But just wait until I open it up...

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4050.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4052.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4053.jpg)

It's a veritable treasure trove full of painted models.

This cupboard is almost purpose built for storing Games Workshop models. The doors are as deep as the back of the cupboard for maximising storage. Each shelf is a little deeper than a unit with four ranks on 25mmx25mm bases. And the shelves even accommodate the tallest model - my Ghorgon. In fact the only models that won't fit in fully assembled are the Phoenix and the Skycutter Chariot - but fortunately I magnetised them for easy disassembly.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4054.jpg)

So this cupboard is brilliant, not only does it keep all my models - but it's safe storage, the models are dust free. And it's broken my lethargy of not wanting to paint models as I have nowhere to store them anymore. We'll gloss over the fact it's nearly full already :S - though in fairness that's about 7 years' worth of painting, and I'm a much slower hobbyist than I used to be. So hopefully I won't have another full cupboard by 2021!

I picked up the cupboard for £65 (or one Nagash) from a second hand furniture store - the main difficulty was getting it home!!

It's currently home for:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4051.jpg)

My blossoming Ultramarine task force (many of them are out the cupboard on battle duty!).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4056.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4057.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4058.jpg)

My vast High Elf horde which refuses to stay politely on one level.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4061.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4062.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4063.jpg)

A giant Beastmen warband who's Latin motto is 'God Knows Why I Painted Them'.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4059.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4060.jpg)

My current hobby focus - the Tzeentch Warriors of Chaos.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4065.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4066.jpg)

My oldest and classic-est (should be a word) army the Dwarfs on classic 4th edition Goblin Green bases.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4064.jpg)

Various bits of Warhammer terrain, including some deeply fragile trees that I'm scared to touch.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4055.jpg)

And the much unloved, but quite fun to paint Dreadfleet!

And that's it the full guided tour of my cupboard - please visit the gift shop on your way out.

133.2 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 11

In a desperate effort to fill up the aforementioned cupboard I've actually made some progress on the Chariots. Wooooooo-bloody-hooooo. Here's where I've got to so far. And yes I know there's only a week to go!!!! Ahhh!!

133.3 Chaos Chariot Painting Guide Stages 1-2

Chaos Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4047.jpg)

Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Fur: Codex Grey
Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Mutated Flesh: Rakarth Flesh
Horse Flesh: Abaddon Black
Horse Mane: Abbadon Black
Gorebeast Flesh: Charadon Granite
Marauder Cloth: Abaddon Black or 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey
Hair: Abaddon Black


Chaos Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4048.jpg)

Skulls/Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Chainmail: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhoff Nightshade
Light Gold Metal: Burnished Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Blue Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Fur: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh / Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Mutated Flesh: Wash Leviathan Purple
Horse Flesh: Layer 1:1 Abbadon Black/Chaos Grey
Horse Mane: Drybrush 1:1 Abbadon Black/Chaos Grey
Gorebeast Flesh: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Marauder Cloth: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Drybrush 1:1 Abbadon Black/Codex Grey


133.4 Get in Touch

Go on you know you're madly jealous of my cupboard - reply below of let me know @ProbyNumbers on Twitter! Now be gone with you I have painting to do.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: fatolaf on August 27, 2014, 01:27:51 pm
Nice Wood dude  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on August 27, 2014, 01:56:19 pm
Love the cupboard - everyone should have one
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on August 29, 2014, 10:30:03 am
Cheers guys glad you like it!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 02, 2014, 07:55:18 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 134 Paint Bucket Challenge Tuesday 2nd September 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

134.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 12

It's crunch time for Month 2 of the painting, though I don't know how any one has found any time to paint what with the Ice Bucket Challenge going on - even my Cygor has got in on the action.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4093.jpg)

He assures me he has donated. Sadly I have to report I have been nominated for such a challenge – not by the Cygor, but in the deepest darkest depths of treachery I have been challenged by Mr Shakey Shakey's wife! Disgusting!

The good news is that so for I haven't done it, so I have found time to finish this month's painting challenge the Chaos Chariot and Gorebeast Chariot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4070.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4072.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4076.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4081.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4082.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4087.jpg)

I enjoyed painting these though not sure how any one stands painting 24 of these, or however many you cool kids are using in your Warriors of Chaos builds these days? But two was pleasant. Most of my Tzeentch Warriors colour scheme is pretty standard fair. The "Tzeentch" head (well I presume its Tzeentch kit says it comes with a head for each god, and while the other three are obvious this was the only one left) has been painted with a purple wash to match last month's Forsaken.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4092.jpg)

The other main area of painting note was the Gorebeast, I tried to match this to rhino skin (adding the scars from whipping).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4091.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4088.jpg)

I decided on this colour scheme after seeing a wildlife programme with Claire Balding directly after Bake Off. Jesus Christ when did I become so old?

The only main problem I had, as you may of heard if you were on Twitter last night (or within 5 miles of my house), was getting all the reins to attach together when I put the sub-assemblies together. I ended up with one rein too short to reach the horse, but managed to fix this with some tricky green stuff (modelling something on the end of waving piece of long plastic is hard):

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4090.jpg)

Quick time for a painting guide before my rage comes back!

134.2 Chaos Chariot Painting Guide Stages 3-4

Chaos Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4089.jpg)

Skulls/Horns: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Blue Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Fur: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Flesh: Wash Reikland Fleshshade
Mutated Flesh: Layer Rakarth Flesh
Horse Flesh: Highlight Codex Grey, then highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Horse Mane: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Gorebeast Flesh: Highlight Charadon Granite, then 2:1 Charadon Granite/Ushabti Bone
Marauder Cloth: (Black Base) Highlight 1:1 Abaddon Black/Scorched Brown, then highlight Scorched Brown or (Grey Base) highlight 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey, then Codex Grey
Hair: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey


Chaos Chariot Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4087.jpg)

Skulls/Horns: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then 1:1 Ushbati Bone/Skull White
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush Mithril Silver, then wash Gulliman Blue
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver, then wash Gulliman Blue
Light Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Fur: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Mutated Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Rakarth Flesh/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Horse Flesh: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Horse Mane: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Gorebeast Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Charadon Granite/Ushabti Bone, then drybrush Ushabti Bone
Marauder Cloth: (Black Base) Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown or (Grey Base) highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Hair: Wash watered down Nuln Oil
Scars: Layer Scab Red, then Red Gore


134.3 Get In Touch

Hurl abuse here or on Twitter @ProbyNumbers - though remember it was the Cygor not me that did the Ice Bucket Challenge.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on September 02, 2014, 08:36:29 pm
Those are some nice chariots.  Without reading the text and solely going from the pictures...do the reins look wonky?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 02, 2014, 09:18:02 pm
Quote from: TkaiC on September 02, 2014, 08:36:29 pm
Without reading the text and solely going from the pictures...do the reins look wonky?

How very dare you... not read the text!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 09, 2014, 07:16:58 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 135 50 Shades of Bray Tuesday 9th September 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

135.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 13

Number 13, unlucky for some, you in this case because more rubbish to read.

Last week I finished my Chariots which takes the so far completed army to:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4100.jpg)

CORE
20x Foresaken         380 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      20 points
400 points

Chaos Chariot         110 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
120 points

CORE: 520 points

SPECIAL
Gorebeast Chariot      130 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
140 points

SPECIAL: 140 points

TOTAL: 640 points

So this month I have decided to paint up a Chimera. Thankfully there's no bastard sub-assembles to piss me off like with the Chariots - many of those words may be bleeped!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4139.jpg)

So far I've assembled it, which was pretty straight forward actually - despite being a relatively modern kit, there's very few parts to the kit and no spares or options - everything was used! Sometimes I like a straight forward construction! Although these locator pins are a bit of a bugger.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4095.jpg)

My main query now is what colour to paint it, suggestions welcome - perhaps I should paint it an appropriate colour to match it's slightly effeminate pose?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4094.jpg)

As part of my occasional theming that I've added throughout the army, I've added some discarded Chaos weaponry, which I will paint in the colours of Khorne to represent a rival warband that has been utterly crushed by my Tzeentchian warhost! Mooo hahahahah!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4138.jpg)

135.2 Beastmen Painting Corner

In amongst assembling my Chimera, I managed to finish off a handful of special characters models I'd been working on for my Beastmen army - yes I know, I'm still bothering to paint them! But having done everything else for the Beastmen this seemed reasonable!

135.3 Morghur, the Master of Skulls

Virtually all the Beastmen special characters have disappeared off the Games Workshop website - with the exception of Malagor. Still the Beastmen situation is not as grim as the Bretonnian web store! Fortunately I managed to pick up Morghur just before he disappeared. And pleasingly he makes quite a lot of appearances in the new Wood Elves book, so hopefully he's not completely forgotten.

Whilst I like the Games Workshop model, I'm not so keen on the paint job which seems to make him look like a large brown blob, it's quite hard to distinguish what's going on in the model.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4142.jpg)

So I decided to paint the Aura of Change around him quite differently to Morghur himself. I used a selection of natural colours (yellows, browns and greens) to wash him so hopefully the Aura looks neither ethereal (aka Nagash and co.) and more like a mutation than say just a magic spell. I am reasonably please with the results. I also added in some tentacles from the ever trusty Chaos Spawn kit to make it look like change was erupting forth from the ground (well that was the aim).

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4111.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4108.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4140.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4141.jpg)

135.4 Morghur, Master of Skulls Painting Guide

Morghur, Master of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4096.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Straps/Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Aura of Change: Rakarth Flesh
Fur: Drybrush Chardonite Grantie, then drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey, then dryrbush Codex Grey
Rocks: Chardon Granite
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab


Morghur, Master of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4097.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Straps/Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Tin Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Wood:  NONE
Aura of Change: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, Thraka Green or Casandora Yellow
Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown


Morghur, Master of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4098.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Straps/Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Wood:  NONE
Aura of Change: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Fur: NONE
Rocks: Drybrush Astronomican Grey
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki


Morghur, Master of Skulls Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4111.jpg)

Base: Wash around tentacle eruptions Agrax Earthshade, then flock with Scorched Grass and Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Straps/Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Wood:  NONE
Aura of Change: Highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Fur: NONE
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Ushabti Bone, then Highlight Ushabti Bone


135.5 Khazrak One-Eye

Next up is Khazrak One-Eye who actually appears to have a decent set of magic items under his rules - surely a misprint!

Eagle-eyed readers may recall that Khazrak had been recast, though just his head and whip. I had intended to purchase the newer him, but he disappeared off the Games Workshop website before I had a chance. So instead I painted up my classic goat-head version. For fun I also painted up the old Redmaw model his Chaos Hound who has now been killed off in the fluff - dam you Boris Todbringer!

Speaking of which the shield I added to his base, which comes from the Giant kit, I painted in the colours of Middenheim to make it look like a battered trophy from one of his many duels with the Count. Which at least finally provides a justification as to why I bought this book.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4143.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4144.jpg)

So here's Khazrak and Red Maw.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4123.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4129.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4131.jpg)

135.6 Khazrak One-Eye Painting Guide

Khazrak One-Eye Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4146.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Straps/Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Chainmail: Drybrush Boltgun Metal, then wash Devlan Mud
Khazrak Fur: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Shield White: Astronomacian Grey
Shield Red: Mechrite Red
Shield Blue: Regal Blue
Shield Scroll: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Charadon Granite

Red-Maw Fur: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then drybrush Beastial Brown, then drybrush Snakebite Leather
Red-Maw Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Red-Maw Scales: Abaddon Black
Red-Maw Veins: Scab Red
Red-Maw Horns: Steel Legion Drab


Khazrak One-Eye Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4147.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Hooves and Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Straps/Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Tin Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Gold Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Khazrak Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Shield White: 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Skull White
Shield Red: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Shield Blue: 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Shield Scroll: Highlight Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre

Red-Maw Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Red-Maw Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Red-Maw Scales: Layer 1:1 Scab Red/Blood Red
Red-Maw Veins: Highlight Codex Grey
Red-Maw Horns: Wash Nuln Oil


Khazrak One-Eye Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4148.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Straps/Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Chainmail: NONE
Khazrak Fur: NONE
Shield White: Layer 2:1 Skull White/Astronomican Grey
Shield Red: Layer Blood Red
Shield Blue: Layer Enchanted Blue
Shield Scroll: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomican Grey

Red-Maw Fur: NONE
Red-Maw Flesh: Wash Reikland Fleshshade
Red-Maw Scales: Highlight Fortress Grey
Red-Maw Veins: NONE
Red-Maw Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh


Khazrak One-Eye Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4123.jpg)

Base: Flock with Scorched Grass and Snow
Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Straps/Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Chainmail: NONE
Khazrak Fur: NONE
Shield White: Highlight Skull White
Shield Red: Highlight Vomit Brown
Shield Blue: Highlight Ice Blue
Shield Scroll: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil

Red-Maw Fur: NONE
Red-Maw Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Red-Maw Scales: Highlight largest scales Astronomican Grey
Red-Maw Veins: NONE
Red-Maw Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White


135.7 Gorthor, the Beastlord

Finally, completing my trio Beastmen characters I've painted Gorthor, the Beastlord. There's not too much to discuss with him. His chariot is pretty similar to the standard Tuskgor Chariot - though the sides are daubed with flesh and the Tuskgors have extra scaly heads. Painting wise the main detail of note is that I painted his own cloak as Beastmen flesh, rather than human flesh as it's supposed to represent slain Bray Shaman - the only Beastmen who would dare do so.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4113.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4120.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4163.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4164.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4166.jpg)

There's a passage in Warhammer Armies: Beastmen that talks about how the Beastmen get enraged about the armour the Chaos Gods gift to their human worshippers that they don't get (as they do not need gifts to be bribed to worship Chaos), and this rage makes them hate humans more. I guess then they must get pretty pissed off at the state of their Chariots.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4165.jpg)

135.8 Gorthor, the Beastlord Painting Guide

Gorthor, the Beastlord Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4160.jpg)

Hooves and Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Skeletons and Bones: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh
Straps/Leather: Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Chainmail: Drybrush Boltgun Metal, then wash Devlan Mud
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Cloak: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then dryrbush Bestial Brown, then drybrush Snakebite Leather
Gorthor Fur: Drybrush Chardon Grantie, then drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey, then drybrush Codex Grey
Gor Fur: Drybrush Codex Grey, then dryrbush Fortress Grey
Tuskgor Fur: Drybrush Chardon Grantie, then drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey, then drybrush Codex Grey OR Drybrush Codex Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1 Mechrite Red/Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Steel Legion Drab
Tuskgor Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Tuskgor Scales: Abaddon Black
Tuskgor Tongue: Liche Purple
Chariot Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Chariot Fur: Drybrush Chardon Grantie, then drybrush Adeptus Battlegrey, then drybrush Codex Grey


Gorthor, the Beastlord Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4161.jpg)

Hooves and Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Skeletons and Bones: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:1 (1:1 Scab Red/Dark Flesh)/Vermin Brown, then layer Vermin Brown
Straps/Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Tin Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Gold Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Wood: NONE
Cloak: Wash Nuln OIl
Gorthor Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Gor Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Tuskgor Fur: Wash Nuln Oil
Red Fabric: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Cream Fabric: Layer Baneblade Brown
Tuskgor Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Tuskgor Scales: Highlight Codex Grey
Tuskgor Tongue: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink
Chariot Flesh: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Chariot Fur: Wash Nuln Oil


Gorthor, the Beastlord Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4162.jpg)

Hooves and Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Baneblade Brown, then feather Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Straps/Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Shining Gold, then wash Gryphonne Sepia
Chainmail: NONE
Wood: NONE
Cloak: NONE
Gorthor Fur: NONE
Gor Fur: NONE
Tuskgor Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Layer 1:1(1:1 Blood Red/Mechrite Red)/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Cream Fabric: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Tuskgor Flesh: Wash Reikland Fleshshade
Tuskgor Scales: Highlight Fortress Grey
Tuskgor Tongue: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White
Chariot Flesh: Wash Reikland Fleshshade
Chariot Fur: NONE


Gorthor, the Beastlord Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4113.jpg)

Hooves and Horns: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Skeletons and Bones: Feather Bleached Bone, then highlight larger areas 1:1 Bleached Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight 3:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh, then highlight 1:1 Vermin Brown/Elf Flesh
Straps/Leather: Highlight Bestial Brown
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Tin Metal: Highlight 3:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Chainmail: NONE
Wood: NONE
Cloak: NONE
Gorthor Fur: NONE
Gor Fur: NONE
Tuskgor Fur: NONE
Red Fabric: Highlight 3:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown, then highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Vomit Brown
Cream Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Ushabti Bone, then Highlight Ushabti Bone
Tuskgor Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Tuskgor Scales: Highlight largest scales Astronomican Grey
Tuskgor Tongue: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Agrax Earthshade/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Chariot Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Chariot Fur: NONE


135.9 Get In Touch

So here's my trio of Beastmen characters.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4136.jpg)

That now is literally every Beastmen model available, painted!!! The only options in the book I don't have are the other special characters that I'd need to convert from scratch! Shudder!

Please do get in touch and let me know what you think, and what colour to paint the Chimera! Remember you can comment here or follow me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers until next time!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on September 09, 2014, 07:36:14 pm
Good stuff as always.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 13, 2014, 10:08:26 pm
Quote from: roland murat on September 09, 2014, 07:36:14 pm
Good stuff as always.

Thank you sir!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 15, 2014, 04:07:19 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 136 Chucking Some Paint at a Model Monday 15th September 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

136.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 14

Ok so thanks for the thousands of suggestions I got of what colour to paint my Chimera – there were none. So if you don't like the colour scheme I've chosen for my Chimera you only have yourself to blame.

I have decided to go for a sickly light green colour for the main body and stick to relatively natural colours for the creature. Mainly as I haven't really painted these colours before, but also because there's something quite disturbing about seeing the Chimera as a fusion of natural parts rather than just outrageous fantastic purple or blue colours. My main concern is I don't want the Chimera to look too Nurgle-y so I need to avoid that.

Anyway enough rambling, here is where I have got to.

136.2 Chimera Painting Guide - Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4167.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Rocks: Charadon Granite
Horns and Teeth: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: Camo Green
Wing Undersides: Iyanden Darksun
Feline Fur: Dark Flesh
Avian Feathers: Scorched Brown
Tongue: Liche Purple
Feline Flesh: Tallarn Flesh
Beak: Iyanden Darksun
Khorne Shield: Khorne Red
Khorne Metal: Tin Bitz


136.3 Get In Touch

That's it for this week! What do you mean you expected more? Well tough I've been busy, you never normally read everything I write so stop complaining!

Remember if you want to fill the content gap I've left you with, you can follow me on twitter @ProbyNumbers or comment below! Go on you know you want to, and even if you don't just do it!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on September 18, 2014, 02:38:05 pm
Nice stuff, though it is Beastmen....almost as useless as my 30 High Elf Spearmen. Sigh.  :wink;m::

I think a large game with all your armies is needed, with the Nagash rules coming in, should be great fun.

BTW Here's my HE I'm working on:

http://warhammer.org.uk/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=125412
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 20, 2014, 01:51:36 pm
Quote from: Berimbolo on September 18, 2014, 02:38:05 pm
Nice stuff, though it is Beastmen....almost as useless as my 30 High Elf Spearmen. Sigh.  :wink;m::

30 pffft, I painted 85! Haha.

Quote from: Berimbolo on September 18, 2014, 02:38:05 pm
I think a large game with all your armies is needed, with the Nagash rules coming in, should be great fun.

BTW Here's my HE I'm working on:

http://warhammer.org.uk/phpBB/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=125412


Yeah that would be fun, though not sure I could ever get them down to the club - I'd need to hire a truck!

Nice High Elves (wrong forum though!), look forward to seeing how they get on.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on September 20, 2014, 11:14:14 pm
You're just a painting machine... excellent stuff :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 21, 2014, 02:32:05 pm
Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on September 20, 2014, 11:14:14 pm
You're just a painting machine... excellent stuff :cool3:

Cheers I don't feel like a painting machine - always seems to take me forever, certainly compared to people who buy something on day of release and paint it that day!! Think my main strength is sticking with a project though!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 22, 2014, 07:10:38 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 137 Sorry For Any O-Fence Monday 22nd September 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

137.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 15

Last time on Procrastination by Numbers... <INSERT TENSE MUSIC>. I painted Stage 1 of my Chimera... and that literally was it. <END TENSE MUSIC>.

This week I've painted Stage 2. The excitement is literally non-existent. Although one of my Chimera's heads did try and gain independence from the other two. The avian head felt that the tail head, that is in control, is located so far away from it as to be irrelevant. The avian head threatened that should it gain independence it would ask the tail head to remove its poison storage sacks located in the avian region. But the tail head repeatedly asked the avian head what it would use for teeth as the rest of the Chimera would no longer let it use its teeth if there was independence. After a lot of squabbling amongst the heads the avian head decided not to go independent provided if could have extra powers from the tail head and no longer had to be next to the lizard head!

Despite all that I managed to get Stage 2 painted, the main detail of note being I added some stripes which don't (yet) look s**t. Give it time.

137.2 Chimera Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4168.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Horns and Teeth: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Wash Agrax Earthshade, then add Scorched Brown stripes
Wing Undersides: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Feline Fur: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Avian Feathers: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Tongue: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink
Feline Flesh: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Beak: Wash Reikland Fleshshade, then Gryphonne Sepia
Khorne Shield: Layer 1:1 Khorne Red/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
Khorne Metal: Dwarf Bronze


137.3 Matty's Terraining Guide

In order to help the Chimera heads get their own personal space I also managed to paint up this set of Citadel Walls and Fences as part of my personal battlefield terrain project. One of my Hobby New Year's Resolutions this year was to paint up three pieces of terrain - I'm currently counting the walls as one, but if things go tits up later in the year I may count all the fences individually!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4151.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4154.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4156.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4157.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4158.jpg)

My favourite detail of these is the Goblin head hidden under the log - though think I need to get better at painting Greenskins. Sadly these are no longer available from GW, but if you have a kit kicking around I'd really recommend getting them painted up. I'm the slowest painter in the world but found these really quick to get good looking results on. Once I'd got the basecoat on even my rather laborious painting style gave way to multiple washes and drybrushes. Just in case you feel inspired (you won't) here's the painting guide.

137.4 Walls and Fences Guide

Walls and Fences Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4169.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Wicker Fence: Steel Legion Drab
Stone Wall: Charadon Granite
Wooden Fence: 1:1 Bestial Brown/Fortress Grey
Trees: Charadon Granite
Rocks: Charadon Granite
Skulls: Steel Legion Drab
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Vines and Grass: Catachan Green
Lantern Strap: Scorched Brown
Goblin: Knarloc Green, then wash Thraka Green
Bird: Bestial Brown


Walls and Fences Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4170.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Wicker Fence: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Stone Wall: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Wooden Fence: Drybrush 1:2 Bestial Brown/Fortress Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Trees: Wash Nuln Oil
Rocks: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Skulls: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Vines and Grass: Highlight Goblin Green
Lantern Strap: Wash Nuln Oil
Goblin: Layer Goblin Green
Bird: Drybrush Snakebite Leather


Walls and Fences Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4171.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Wicker Fence: Drybrush Baneblade Brown
Stone Wall: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green (towards base), then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Wooden Fence: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Trees: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green
Rocks: Selectively drybrush Gretchin Green (towards base), then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Skulls: Layer Baneblade Brown, then layer Rakarth Flesh
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Vines and Grass: Drybrush Camo Green
Lantern Strap: Highlight Scorched Brown
Goblin: Highlight 1:1:1 Goblin Green/Golden Yellow/Ushabti Bone
Bird: Drybrush Bubonic Brown


Walls and Fences Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4151.jpg)

Base: Flock with Scorched Grass and Glade Grass
Wicker Fence: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Stone Wall: Wash odd Stones Gryphonne Sepia or Agrax Earthshade or Reikland Fleshade, then drybush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Wooden Fence: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Trees: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Graveyard Earth
Rocks: Drybush Skull White, then wash recesses Nuln Oil
Skulls: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Silver Metal: DONE
Gold Metal: Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold / Mithril Silver
Vines and Grass: DONE
Lantern Strap: Highlight Bestial Brown
Goblin: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Bird: DONE


137.5 Get In Touch

If this week's blog caused you offence, get it o-fence - sometimes I think I'm just too funny! Then do get in touch and let me know either here by replying or on Twitter @ProbyNumbers - hopefully more Chimera to follow next week!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on September 23, 2014, 11:11:07 am
Excellent scenery, I like (need a Borat smiley on this forum).
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 23, 2014, 09:16:31 pm
Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on September 23, 2014, 11:11:07 am
Excellent scenery, I like (need a Borat smiley on this forum).

Thank you kindly! Touch plastic fence, more to follow!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on September 29, 2014, 07:17:13 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 138 Finishing Flapping About Monday 29th September 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

138.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 16

Welcome back dear reader, this week is probably the most exciting week there has ever been. For I, mere mortal Matty the Painter, have finished my September painting before the month has ended. Whoop de whoop!!

And even more exciting than that, as if that were even possible, I have finally completed my Manticore - the one I bought in 2011? And last mentioned in Update 126!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4178.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4174.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4181.jpg)

Last time we saw the Manticore he was awaiting some water effects on the base. These are now done and dry!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4203.jpg)

The base is supposed to represent a babbling stream travelling through the semi frozen wasteland that my Warriors army is based in. The stream is made up of two layers of water effects, then I've used a tiny amount of watered down Skull White to pick out the wave crests to give the impression of some spray.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4187.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4190.jpg)

The Manticore is magnetised, my new favourite technique. So in the unlikely event that I ever play a Storm of Magic game (does that still exist?), or the more likely event that the rider dies - I can have a riderless mount. Alternatively either the Chaos Lord or Sorcerer Lord can ride the Manticore - not magnetised in this case, just a good fit in the kit!

Of course the Manticore was just a bonus model. This month was really all about the Chimera.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4192.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4196.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4198.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4204.jpg)

I'm really pleased with the markings and skin tone which came out a lot better than expected. And of course the multiple mouths which is all down to a brilliant wash tip I picked up (see Stage 4 of the painting guide). And as previously alluded to the wreckage of a rival Khorne war band is strewn across his base, which ties him into the rest of my army - despite the lack of overt Tzeentchynessness (it is a word).

138.2 Chimera Painting Guide – Stages 3-4

Chimera Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4202.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Rocks: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomican Grey
Horns and Teeth: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Layer watered down Camo Green, then layer 1:1 Camo Green/Rotting Flesh. Layer stripes 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then layer Bestial Brown
Wing Undersides: Layer Iyanden Darksun, then drybrush 1:1 Iyanden Darksun/Bubonic Brown
Feline Fur: Drybrush Dark Flesh, then drybrush 1:1 Dark Flesh/Bestial Brown
Avian Feathers: Drybrush Scorched Brown, then drybrush 1:1 Scorched Brown/Graveyard Earth
Tongue: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White
Feline Flesh: Layer Tallarn Flesh, then layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Kommando Khaki
Beak: Layer Balor Brown
Khorne Shield: Highlight 1:1 Blood Red/Wild Rider Red, then highlight Wild Rider Red
Khorne Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver


Chimera Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4192.jpg)

Base: Flock with Scorched Grass and Citadel Snow
Rocks: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Horns and Teeth: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then 1:1 Ushabti Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight Rotting Flesh, then wash Seraphim Sepia. Layer stripes Snakebite Leather, then wash Seraphim Sepia
Wing Undersides: Wash Gryphonne Sepia
Feline Fur: Drybrush Bestial Brown, then wash Seraphim Sepia
Avian Feathers: Dryrbrush Graveyard Earth, then wash Seraphim Sepia
Tongue: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Agrax Earthshade/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Feline Flesh: Highlight Kommando Khaki, then wash Seraphim Sepia
Beak: Highlight 1:1 Ushabti Bone/Balor Brown
Khorne Shield: Wash Bloodletter, then highlight Mithril Silver
Khorne Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver


138.3 Get in Touch

So with my monsters painted what does next month hold? Well you'll just have to come back next week. Until then Twitter @ProbyNumbers is the place to be largely ignored by me! Until next week...
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on October 01, 2014, 09:24:37 pm
Really nice stuff, very varied in colours as well. Quick Question, what varnish are you using to keep them from getting chipped? I'm not exactly sure what to go for, so many different types and people opinions.

Thanks.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 09, 2014, 07:42:21 pm
Quote from: Berimbolo on October 01, 2014, 09:24:37 pm
Really nice stuff, very varied in colours as well. Quick Question, what varnish are you using to keep them from getting chipped? I'm not exactly sure what to go for, so many different types and people opinions.

Thanks.

Sorry forgot to reply to your question! I tend to use Citadel Matt Varnish (not just as it has my name on it), but it works for me. I use a light dusting and am careful about applying it - unless you can spray in a sheltered area, you don't want too much heat, cold or wind (and obviously no rain). Which basically means I can't varnish again until April!!! Worth having a ruler to hand to make sure you keep the can 30cm away (without you don't realise how much you move about), and then just a light dusting from all four directions and the top. Pretty resistant for plastic and Finecast models though I do get the odd metal chip. Others may have better advice, but that's what I do!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on October 09, 2014, 08:20:46 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on October 09, 2014, 07:42:21 pm
Worth having a ruler to hand to make sure you keep the can 30cm away

There's being careful...and there's being a bit too careful.  Having said that, most of my metal minis get chipped so I may break out the ruler for the next batch!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 13, 2014, 07:21:28 am
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 139 Ogre Conversions Monday 13th October 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

139.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Weeks 17-18

Sorry there was no blog last week, but hey I'm busy, give me a break!

Regular readers will know that back in September I finished off the next month's worth of models for my Warriors of Chaos army. It was the Chimera and the Manticore, which makes my army look textually like this:

LORDS
Chaos Sorcerer    Lord      235 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      15 points
+Manticore         150 points
+Magic Items         50 points
450 points

LORDS: 450 points

CORE
20x Foresaken         380 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      20 points
400 points

Chaos Chariot         110 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
120 points

CORE: 520 points

SPECIAL
Gorebeast Chariot      130 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
140 points

Chimera         230 points
+ Flaming Breath      30 points
+ Regenerating Flesh      15 points
275 points

SPECIAL: 415 points

TOTAL: 1,385 points

So what is happening this month? Well this month I have decided to add a band of Chaos Ogres to my Tzeentchian war band. The Chaos Ogres don't actually have current models, the old metal ones have A) been discontinued and B) were so awful even I didn't buy them (bare in mind I have four Razogor and the Chaos Troll models). So safe in the knowledge there weren't going to be any new Chaos releases for a while (dam and double dam), I started converting knowing I wouldn't get tempted to buy newer Chaos Ogre models (who knows they could come in the next few weeks).

Having read some of the older background to the Chaos Ogres – the current Warhammer Armies: Warriors of Chaos has virtually nothing on them (as if they were squeezed in and the designers really didn't care about them), I read that Chaos Ogres are supposed to be pretty resistant to the mutating power of Chaos. Try telling the bloke who sculpted these models:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4206.jpg)

In fairness the blurb then goes on to say that eventually they do mutate but that made the joke less funny. Anyway with that in mind, and to avoid the potential cheesy over the top nature of having heavily mutated models (whilst it can be fun having tentacles everywhere, when modelled well I think there can be a fine line before things get silly), I decided to make my Chaos Ogres look relatively unmutated but as if they'd equipped themselves to join a Chaos war band. Perhaps in the calamity of the End Times they've seen which way the wind is blowing and thrown their lot in with a Tzeentch tribe. Perhaps I need to spend longer thinking of decent background. The good news is that Chaos Ogres can have a Mark of Chaos, unlike pretty much all the other monsterous infantry (Blightknights notwithstanding) so I could go to town Tzeentching these bad boys up! I started out with the Ogre Kingdoms Ironguts kit, mainly as the fact they already came covered in armour plating leant themselves to a Chaos tinge more than the other kits – which could then be painted in my standard Tzeentch bluey-silver and golds. Of course I have gone for Great Weapons because let's be honest they look cool – sod how they play! Due to the horrendous weather at the tail end of last week I nipped out onto my balcony to undercoat these in a gap between showers and thus forgot to take photographs of them pre-Chaos Black undercoat which almost certainly makes my conversions harder to spot. But here goes:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4207.jpg)

For this Ogre I've added a horn from the Chaos Knight kit to make him a Uni-Ogre, then I added a Chaos Warrior shield to his side arm (instead of the other race's shields supplied in the box), and a chain from the Marauder Horseman kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4208.jpg)

This guy got a pair of horns snipped off a spare Chaos Warrior helmet and a Marauder Horseman spear attached to his belt.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4209.jpg)

Marauder Shields fit really well in place of the Ogre gut plates as I've done on this chap. He's also got some Marauder Horseman chains on the other side.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4210.jpg)

This one has a Marauder shield on his shoulder, and then chains and a set of spears attached to him from the Marauder Horseman kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4211.jpg)

This one has another Marauder Horseman spear attached to his back, he has some horns from a Chaos Warrior which are slightly comically small (but I quite like them) and a Chaos Icon strapped to his belt, again from the Chaos Warrior kit.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4212.jpg)

The Bellower (sadly referred to as a Musician in the Warriors of Chaos Book), has a chain around his neck (from a cheap piece of jewellery I sacrificed for such models) with a skull I've added, and a Marauder shield on his shoulder.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4213.jpg)

The Ogre Mutant has another Marauder shield for a gut plate and I added Tzeentch symbols from the Foresaken kit onto his wrist bands.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4214.jpg)

Finally the Standard Bearer, he has a Tzeentch banner from the Blasted Standards kit and a rather precarious looking Pink Horror taking the role of the lookout Gnoblar.

Sadly no paint as yet, though on the plus side I have made the unit a movement tray.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4205.jpg)

It's a start ok. And with eight monstrous infantry to paint up in the next two weeks I am going to need all the help I can get! If this were the X Factor there would be a montage about how hard this month's performance will be. But it's not, so there isn't.

139.2 Get in Touch

That's it, remember unlike Louis I'm not pleading for your votes but I do need your encouragement on Twitter @ProbyNumbers and on here! Hopefully I will return next week..., maybe!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on October 15, 2014, 12:17:48 pm
That Standard Bearer looks mental, for me it's a bit OOT. One of my best mates works for GWHQ and we were discussing those horrid old Chaos Ogre models giving them a slating then realised that the Designer Trish Morrison was sitting right behind us....
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 18, 2014, 11:36:39 am
Quote from: Berimbolo on October 15, 2014, 12:17:48 pm
That Standard Bearer looks mental, for me it's a bit OOT.

I think on his own in the photo he does look a bit mad, but hoping in the context of the unit and my army he'll fit in - there's a couple of other mad Pink Horrors!

Quote from: Berimbolo on October 15, 2014, 12:17:48 pm
One of my best mates works for GWHQ and we were discussing those horrid old Chaos Ogre models giving them a slating then realised that the Designer Trish Morrison was sitting right behind us....

This is the kind of awkward thing I do on a daily basis!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on October 20, 2014, 04:32:23 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 140 An-ogre Blog Entry Monday 20th October 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

140.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Week 19

With all the excitement of a yet another new range of Nurgle releases, I'm stuck painting old models in my Tzeentch colour scheme.

Something's not right here.

Oh well the good news at least is that my Chaos Ogres are coming along nicely. I've decided to go for a grey skin tone like the old Ogre Kingdoms Games Workshop army featured. It fits the artwork in the current Warriors of Chaos army book better and it feels more interesting to paint than the traditional fleshy colours.

Here's how they are looking so far.

140.2 Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stages 1-2

Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4215.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4216.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Shadow Grey/Graveyard Earth
Wood: Drybrush Codex Grey
Chainmail: Drybrush Chainmail
Silver Metal: Chainmail
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Leather: Scorched Brown
Fabrics: Abaddon Black or Abaddon Black/Codex Grey
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Stones: Charadon Granite
Barrel: 1:1 Bestial Brown/Fortress Grey
Barrel Metal: Boltgun Metal
Hair: Abaddon Black
Pink Horror Flesh: 1:1 Warlock Purple/Tentacle Pink
Pink Horror Tongue: Liche Purple
Pink Horror Horns/Claws: Abbadon Black
Pink Horror Feather: Iyanden Dark Sun
Meat: Tallarn Flesh


Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4217.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4218.jpg)

Base: Baneblade Brown
Skulls/Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Layer 1:2 Shadow Grey/Graveyard Earth, then layer 1:4 Shadow Grey/Graveyard Earth
Wood: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Chainmail: Wash Drakenhof Blue
Silver Metal: Wash Drakenhof Blue
Light Gold Metal: Auric Armour Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Fabrics: Wash Nuln Oil
Blue Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Stones: Drybrush Tausept Ochre
Barrel: Drybrush 1:2 Bestial Brown/Fortress Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Barrel Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Hair: Drybrush Codex Grey
Pink Horror Flesh: Layer Tentacle Pink, then wash dilute Carroburg Crimson
Pink Horror Tongue: Layer 1:1 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink, then layer 1:3 Liche Purple/Tentacle Pink
Pink Horror Horns/Claws: Highlight 2:1 Abaddon Black/Kommando Khaki, then highlight 1:1 Abaddon Black/Kommando Khaki
Pink Horror Feather: Layer Golden Yellow
Meat: Layer 1:1 Tallarn Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh


140.3 Get in Touch

Quite a lot still to do before my Halloween completion date! As always do let me know your thoughts! See you next week!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 04, 2014, 05:20:50 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 141 Big Chaos Things Tuesday 4th November 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

141.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Weeks 20-21

Excitingly I managed to purchase myself a copy of Warhammer: Glottkin, so after a bit of a lapse I am now all over the End Times! Well it would be if it hadn't simply been added to my backlog of Warhammer reading that needs to be done. I now have a pile of both models to paint and books to read – I am drowning in Warhammer admin!

Speaking of which my lack of blogging and appearances at the club may have convinced you that I have reached my own End Times. But no, I seem to just up end surprisingly busy on Thursdays and Saturdays. A situation I must reverse, but not this Thursday as I am already booked. Bloody hell how does this happen!

The good news however is that I have managed to keep up with the Tale of OG Gamers. My Chaos Ogres of Tzeentch are done and dusted and sanded and flocked, but not varnished. Be realistic!

Here they are:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4220.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4222.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4229.jpg)

I think I quite like how their grey skin tone has turned out, there were a few stages when they looked like clay and I was a bit worried! The other details seem to have come out well and I'm definitely getting the desired Tzeentch style. Hopefully the look-out Pink Horror doesn't look too bonkers!

141.2 Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stages 3-4

Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4236.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4237.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Layer 1:4:2 Shadow Grey/Graveyard Earth/Kommando Khaki, then highlight Kommando Khaki
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Mithril Silver
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Fabrics: (Abaddon Black) highlight Scorched Brown (or Abaddon Black/Codex Grey) highlight Codex Grey
Blue Trim: Highlight 2:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Stones: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Barrel: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Barrel Metal: Highlight 1:1 Boltgun Metal/Chainmail
Hair: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Pink Horror Flesh: Layer Tentacle Pink
Pink Horror Tongue: Layer Tentacle Pink, then 3:1 Tentacle Pink/Skull White
Horns/Claws: Highlight 1:1 Abbadon Black/Ushabti Bone, then highlight 1:2 Abaddon Black/Ushabti Bone
Pink Horror Feather: Layer Sunburst Yellow
Meat: Wash Agrax Earthshade, then wash Agrax Earthshade (again)


Chaos Ogres Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4220.jpg)

Base: Flocked with Scorched Grass and Citadel Snow
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then 1:1 Ushabti Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Wood: NONE
Chainmail: Drybrush Mithril Silver, then glaze Gulliman Blue
Silver Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver, then glaze Gulliman Blue
Light Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Fabrics: (Abaddon Black) Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown (or Abaddon Black/Codex Grey) Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey
Blue Trim: Highlight 1:1 Regal Blue/Enchanted Blue
Stones: Drybrush Skull White, then wash Nuln Oil in recesses
Barrel: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Barrel Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Hair: Wash Nuln Oil
Pink Horror Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Tentacle Pink/Ushabti Bone
Pink Horror Tongue: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Agrax Earthshade/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Horns/Claws: Highlight Ushabti Bone
Pink Horror Feather: Wash Reikland Fleshshade, then highlight Bad Moon Yellow
Meat: NONE
Eye of Tzeentch (Standard Bearer): Enchanted Blue, then layered 1:1 Enchanted Blue/Ice Blue, then layered Ice Blue, then layered 1:1 Ice Blue/Skull White, then highlight Skull White, then highlighted Abaddon Black, then washed with Gulliman Blue


141.3 Get in Touch

Of course the big question is what will I paint for November? I'm not sure even I know. But do remember you can let me know your thoughts here and on Twitter @ProbyNumbers
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on November 04, 2014, 06:34:57 pm
Hows the new book Matt?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on November 05, 2014, 02:07:17 pm
Very purty  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: underscore on November 05, 2014, 10:57:39 pm
So can we expect to see some Daemonic gribblies to march alongside your Warriors and Beasties? :)
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 09, 2014, 09:08:52 am
Thanks guys for the kind comments!

Yeah have to say a tiny bit tempted to do a small Tzeentch Daemon army to accompany my Warriors - the idea of starting a massive new army keeps making me feel sick but this seems possible!

Hoping will have some time to paint something for November - seem to be so busy this month!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on November 11, 2014, 02:04:53 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 09, 2014, 09:08:52 am
Yeah have to say a tiny bit tempted to do a small Tzeentch Daemon army to accompany my Warriors - the idea of starting a massive new army keeps making me feel sick but this seems possible!

...but at the rate you paint, you should clearly be able to knock them out in a week or so  :wink;m::
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 17, 2014, 09:13:07 pm
Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on November 11, 2014, 02:04:53 pm
...but at the rate you paint, you should clearly be able to knock them out in a week or so  :wink;m::

Hahaha and just as you say that my painting rate drops to zero!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on November 18, 2014, 04:38:44 pm
Quote from: cunningmatt on November 17, 2014, 09:13:07 pm
Hahaha and just as you say that my painting rate drops to zero!

Dammit!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 24, 2014, 07:53:56 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 142 Remember Me? Monday 24th November 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

142.1 Tale of OG Gamers: Tzeentch Warriors – Weeks 22-23

Who knew The End Times actually referred to my ability to write this blog? Actually I've been consumed by the holy fires of the Gods of Blogination and been reborn as the Patriarch Procastitator - Lord of Time Wasting. You should my special rules they're amazing. Although the book with them in sold out after approximately 1/3 of a nanoseconds and now retails on eBay for about 4 million pounds.

Or more accurately I've been insanely busy, but the previous excuse sounded more exciting.

Anyway project Tale of OG Gamers isn't dead yet - mortally wounded and with blood splatter all over the rest of the forum yes, but not dead... yet!

I did know that November was going to be a busy month when I started this. Though in fairness had I known quite how busy it would be I'd have made sure I informed the club before they issued a Missing Person's Description to the police!

So that said this month I'm only attempting to paint a single model, but what a model - it's Throgg King of Trolls and other Smelly Creatures.

Being such a hive of activity I've pretty much only managed to build him so far.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4238.jpg)

Not done anything too crazy here, the model already looks great - even in Finecast! His left foot wasn't quite flat with the base so I've rested it on a sloped rock. And have also added a skull to his base. But otherwise that is it!

Painting wise I have spray coated it black and base coated his teeth - not deeply impressive, but at least it's a start!

Fingers crossed I'll have something to show you soon.

142.2 Dwarf Painting Corner

In an effort to make it look like I've done something. I'll show off these Dwarfs I painted a while back but forgot to upload!

The Dwarfs are my oldest painted army, mainly comprising of classic 4th edition models and it's been quite a while since I returned to them. But inspired by the new book (when I say new, it was when my inspiration started) I painted two whole models! Wow! In some ways quite a hard task as I never made a note of the colour scheme I used when I painted the original army way back when.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3987.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3991.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3992.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3994.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3998.jpg)

Lots of the old Dwarf characters come with these quirky banner poles! I added two High Elf Spearmen banners (having over 100 of these means lots of spare banners) - snipping off the gems at the base and filing off the Elven runes, and then adding some Runes from the Dwarf Quarrellers/Thunderers kit. Think it works pretty well Ungrim Ironfist may get similar treatment one day!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4239.jpg)

Primarily for my own benefit, in case I ever paint another Dwarf again here are the appropriate Painting Guides:

142.3 Josef Bugman Painting Guide

Josef Bugman Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4240.jpg)

Shoes: Chaos Black
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Dark Leather: Scorched Brown
Light Leather: Calthan Brown
Wood: Calthan Brown
Beard: Astronomacian Grey
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Bronze: Tin Bitz
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Cream Trim: Steel Legion Drab
Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Rope: Calthan Brown
Flesh: Talaran Flesh
Beer: Vomit Brown


Josef Bugman Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4241.jpg)

Shoes: Highlight 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey, then highlight Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Light Leather: Layer 1:1 Calthan Brown/Snakebite Leather, then layer Snakebite Leather
Wood: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Beard: Wash Nuln Oil
Light Gold Metal: Auric Armour Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Bronze: Dwarf Bronze
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Necron Abyss/Regal Blue, then layer Regal Blue
Cream Trim: Baneblade Brown
Horns: Wash Nuln Oil
Rope: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Talaran Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh
Beer: Drybrush Kommando Khaki


Josef Bugman Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4242.jpg)

Shoes: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/ Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Bolt Gun Metal/Chainmail
Dark Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Light Leather: Layer 1:1 Snakebite Leather/Tau Sept Ochre, then layer Tau Sept Ochre
Wood: Highlight Bubonic Brown
Beard: Drybrush 1:1 Astronomacian Grey/Fortress Grey, then drybrush Fortress Grey
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Bronze: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 4:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Ultramarine Blue, then highlight Ultramarine Blue
Cream Trim: Highlight 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Desert Yellow, then layer Desert Yellow
Horns: Feather Baneblade Brown then feather Rakarth Flesh
Rope: Wash Nuln Oil
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh
Beer: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then wash Gryphonne Sepia


Josef Bugman Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3987.jpg)

Shoes: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dark Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Light Leather: DONE
Wood: DONE
Beard: Drybrush 1:1 Fortress Grey/Skull White, then lightly drybrush Skull White
Light Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Bronze: Highlight Mithril Silver
Blue Trim: DONE
Cream Trim: Highlight 1:1 Desert Yellow/Ushabti Bone, then highlight Ushabti Bone
Horns: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then 1:1 Ushabti Bone/Skull White
Rope: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh
Beer: Highlight Skull White


142.4 Dwarf Master Engineer Painting Guide

Master Engineer Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4243.jpg)

Shoes: Adeptus Battlegrey
Sleeves: Charadon Granite
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Dark Leather: Scorched Brown
Light Leather: Calthan Brown
Beard: Abaddon Black
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Brass: Tin Bitz
Tin: Tin Bitz
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Wood: Calthan Brown
Flesh: Talaran Flesh


Master Engineer Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4244.jpg)

Shoes: Highlight 1:1 Adeptus Battlegrey/Codex Grey, then highlight Codex Grey
Sleeves: Highlight 1:1 Charadon Granite/Codex Grey, then highlight Codex Grey
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Dark Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Light Leather: Layer 1:1 Calthan Brown/Snakebite Leather, then layer Snakebite Leather
Beard: Drybrush 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey, then drybrush Codex Grey
Light Gold Metal: Auric Armour Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Bronze: Dwarf Bronze
Tin: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Necron Abyss/Regal Blue, then layer Regal Blue
Wood: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Talaran Flesh/Dwarf Flesh, then layer Dwarf Flesh


Master Engineer Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4245.jpg)

Shoes: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Sleeves: Highlight 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Bolt Gun Metal/Chainmail
Dark Leather: Highlight Scorched Brown
Light Leather: Layer 1:1 Snakebite Leather/Tau Sept Ochre, then layer Tau Sept Ochre
Beard: Drybrush 1:1 Codex Grey/Fortress Grey, then highlight Fortress Grey
Light Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Auric Armour Gold/Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Bronze: Wash Gryphonne Sepia, then highlight 4:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver
Tin: Highlight 4:1 Tin Bitz/Mithril Silver   
Blue Trim: Layer 1:1 Regal Blue/Ultramarine Blue, then highlight Ultramarine Blue
Wood: Highlight Bubonic Brown
Flesh: Wash Ogryn Flesh


Master Engineer Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3994.jpg)

Shoes: Wash Nuln Oil
Sleeves: Wash Agrax Earthshade, then highlight Fortress Grey
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dark Leather: Highlight 1:1 Scorched Brown/Bestial Brown, then highlight Bestial Brown
Light Leather: DONE
Beard: Wash Nuln Oil, then lightly drybrush Fortress Grey
Light Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Dark Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Bronze: Highlight Mithril Silver
Tin: Highlight Chainmail   
Blue Trim: DONE
Wood: DONE
Flesh: Highlight 1:1 Dwarf Flesh/Elf Flesh, then highlight Elf Flesh


142.5 Get in Touch

Since painting the Master Engineer I've realised the new Dwarf book doesn't have the standard Engineer upgrade for Dwarf machines in. So presuming my Engineer models have completed their training course I now have four Master Engineers - possibly overkill?!

Anyway do feel free to comment here, on harass me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers – I literally can't wait!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on November 24, 2014, 11:38:03 pm
Mmmmmm... beeeerrrrrr  :cool3:
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Berimbolo on November 25, 2014, 07:47:49 pm
Unfortunately where you've gone wrong is.........your painting Dwarfs!

AHAHAHAHA

Great work man, considering you paint all these models, do you ever actually game with them or would that be sacrilege?
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on November 26, 2014, 07:59:02 pm
Quote from: Berimbolo on November 25, 2014, 07:47:49 pm
Great work man, considering you paint all these models, do you ever actually game with them or would that be sacrilege?

If you ask anyone at the club they'd probably say I never play and they've forgotten what I look like! I do try and come to the club but real life is often restrictive and means I can't guarantee I can make a Thursday - which is hard to pre-organise. Painting tends to be easier to fit in as I can just grab the brush whenever!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on December 14, 2014, 08:02:25 pm
Something has been missing from this thread and I just realised what it is - the advent calendar. Sorely missed
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on December 22, 2014, 03:16:59 pm
Quote from: roland murat on December 14, 2014, 08:02:25 pm
Something has been missing from this thread and I just realised what it is - the advent calendar. Sorely missed

Procrastination by Numbers: Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar Monday 22nd December 2014

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOADVENTSMALLSIZE.jpg)

As you asked so nicely...

[spoiler]

I'm sorry I haven't had chance to do it!

Yes I continue 2014 being the year of the apology. I have had a bit career change and been busier than a Skaven player painting Slaves, so no Forgotten Special Characters Advent Calendar this year. Plus I haven't been able to keep up with The End Times – so I have no idea who is dead, alive, forgotten or having sex with their sister. I am hoping that once the haze of Christmas Day and the sherry hangover have stopped I might get a chance to finish my Warriors tale and update the blog once more, and even come to the club?!?!?!?! Well Christmas is a time for miracles.

Anyway until then Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[/spoiler]
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: TkaiC on December 23, 2014, 06:51:23 pm
Merry Christmas!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 05, 2015, 07:43:54 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 143 Happy New Year Monday 5th January 2015

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

143.1 New Year, Old Problems

Happy New Year! Bored of saying that yet?! Yes I am too.

It may be a New Year but as is customary this blog update begins with an old excuse apologising for my lack of blogging and how long you have had to wait since the last update. Nothing has changed pretty much since 2010 when I started blogging on this forum.

Anyway with that in mind New Year traditionally is the part of the year where we look back on how we failed all our hobby resolutions from the previous year, fail to learn these lessons, and set ourselves a whole new set of resolutions we won't complete this year. In that spirit let us begin by looking back at 2014's failings. I've rated them as either "Success" (unlikely), "Partial Success" (read clutching at straws) and "Failure" (the default setting):

143.2 2014 Resolutions Update

2014 Resolution 1: Sort my Armies into my New Storage Unit

Last year I promised to rehome my models in their new storage unit, making up missing movement trays and repairing chips and damage to the models. And would you believe it (with out-of-focus pictures as my witness) I have only gone and done it!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4052.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4057.jpg)

Status: SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 2: Club Attendance: Minimum Once a Month

Yeah..., oops. I can only apologise, I started off well with campaigns and the like. But the investable truth is real life sucks, and for some reason real like sucks most on a Thursday and Saturday. I need to get better, in fact Tom picked up an army book and basing kit for me in September which I still haven't collected.

It's been a busy one. I must do better.

Status: FAILED

2014 Resolution 3: Painting Warriors of Chaos: Complete Wish List

My target for 2014 was to be the year of the Warriors of Chaos, and as such I joined a Tale of OG Gamers... group (that sounds like some kind of self-help therapy), it's not it is a painting challenge. My list consisted of the following:


Pleasingly I did most things on the list, the only things missing were Throgg (who I have made a start on), and the Hellcannon which I've done nothing with. So not a complete success, but not too bad.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4233.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3589.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3659.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3725.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3747.jpg)

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 4: Painting High Elves: Complete New Army Editions

My aim for my High Elves for 2014 was to paint one of each of the "new" (I can't use "new" any more, let's say most recent wave) releases. One of each kit rather than each variant, so with Sisters of Avelorn done in 2013 that meant a Phoenix, Skycutter, Loremaster, Alarielle and Handmaiden. Any hey-ho buggery-bum, I did it!!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3914.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3627.jpg)

Status: SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 5: Update the Blog: At least twice a month

You might think this was an obvious win given how much I write, but I had some major wibbles in April and December where real life completely consume d me. Otherwise I did manage my two updates a month, and given I managed 29 updates in 2014 if you count by averages it was a win. So to be fair, I will go partial success here.

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 6: Finish Ultramarine Army to 2,000 points

So my target for the best flavour of Space Marines was getting up to 2,000 points. In 2014 I added a Devastator Squad, Vindicator, Predator and two Space Marine Captains (the Predator and Captains are recent additions which I shall add some photos of to the blog soon), taking the army up to 1,850 points. Not quite there, but not bad for an idiot.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4001.jpg)

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 7: Learn to play Warhammer 40,000

To be honest this wasn't fair, they released a surprise new rule book, with very limited rules changes which confused the issue. I think I part own the rulebook.  Anyway this hasn't happened in any shape of form.

Status: FAILED

2014 Resolution 8: Paint at least one Dwarf and one Beastmen model

This was a small objective to paint at least a Dwarf and a Beastmen model, to keep a hand in the old armies. I managed this! Wooo hooo! And really enjoyed a little variation from the other models I had painted.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4136.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3986.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN3993.jpg)

Status: SUCCESS

2014 Resolution 9: Paint at least three items of terrain, including one I have built myself

Well... I painted a set of walls and fences, so technically that's 11 pieces of terrain? No. What do you mean that doesn't count?

Ok so 1 out of 3, and yes I didn't make any terrain. I bought a few bits though. So maybe 2015 is the year?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN4152.jpg)

Status: PARTIAL SUCCESS

So there we go nine resolutions: three Successes, four Partials Success and two Fails. Could have been a lot, lot worse. Some may so not bad, but my own self-loathing won't allow that.

143.3 2015 Resolutions

So onto 2015, what am I going to rashly promise to do? Well here goes, some of these may look like repeats of unsuccessful pledges from earlier, and you would be correct in identifying these as such!

2015 Resolution 1: Club Attendance: Minimum Once a Month

Ok so no imagination here, but one I really intend to manage and must try to do. Sadly I am busy this Thursday and Saturday so early attempt might go slightly wrong, but we will succeed! I give you dear reader person to mock, harass and encourage me to do better.

2015 Resolution 2: Update the Blog: At Least Twice a Month

Ditto, ditto, ditto. Fingers crossed there'll be time ever fortnight even for a mini-update. We shall see! At least I have done one of January's already!

2015 Resolution 3: Finish Ultramarine Army to 2,400 points

This is an increase of another 400 points on last year making a total of 550 points to paint. Unassembled in boxes I have a Centurion squad, Stormtalon and Vanguard Veterean Squad which look fun to do, maybe even fun to play with.

2015 Resolution 4: Learn to play Warhammer 40,000

Jesus Christ I really need to sort this one out, though I reserve the right to abandon this if another edition of Warhammer 40,000 comes out this year!

2015 Resolution 5: Finish my Warriors of Chaos List

Normally I have a vague idea when making these lists what armies are due army books and therefore which of my armies might get a load of new goodies to sway me. But what with End Times and no army books this year (I think). I genuinely have no clue what to expect. Whilst End Times look good, I'm a Tzeentch boy not a Nurgle boy so I won't be adding the new End Times models, good as they are to my painting table, instead I want to finish Throgg and the Hellcannon from 2014 and add in a Slaughterbrute or Mutliath Vortex Beast (not sure which one to go for, but I have a kit) and that will finish my Warriors for now.

2015 Resolution 6: Paint at Least on High Elf

With Warhammer: Khaine sadly seeing no new pointy eared releases I am not expecting to add anything major to my Elves as they are pretty much done. But I'll keep my hand in and promise one High Elf will join their ranks this year. I am suspecting it will be the metal Eltharion model, which is the only Special Character in the current book I don't have painted, and I did pick him up a while back. But I am not promising the exact model, let's leave it to the whims of my mood – maybe it will be Imrik from the End Times book, maybe it won't!

2015 Resolution 7: Update My Dwarf Army

I really enjoyed painting a couple of Dwarf characters this year, so it has inspired me to give the beardies a bit of love this year. Maybe characters, maybe units, maybe war machines. I will add at least four entries to my Dwarf army, I got the four "new" plastic clamp pack Dwarf characters for Christmas, so at a minimum it will be those, but a unit or two would also be fun!.

2015 Resolution 8: Paint at Least Three Items of Terrain, Including One I Have Built Myself

So I failed this last year, this year I will make it! I have to, I've bought some modelling stuff for my own pieces!! Again inspire, encourage and shout at me. You have your orders.

143.4 Get in Touch

So there we go, eight resolutions to no doubt fail by 2016, but god loves a trier. Sadly no Beastmen this year, I literally have painted every Beastmen model there is, so unless something new excites me (which seems unlikely at time of writing), I can't add anything. But who knows, maybe I'll paint another unit of 40 Gor for s**ts and giggles – if I look like I am going to do this, please shoot me.

As always I love to know what you think so throw us some comments, or harass me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers

Happy 2015!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Deathwing_Matt on January 05, 2015, 08:53:55 pm
I'm jealous of your progress with last year's resolutions (I didn't come close to meeting a single one) and wish you good luck with your 2015 ones!

Matt
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on January 11, 2015, 09:19:02 am
Quote from: Deathwing_Matt on January 05, 2015, 08:53:55 pm
I'm jealous of your progress with last year's resolutions (I didn't come close to meeting a single one) and wish you good luck with your 2015 ones!

Matt

Many thanks - fingers crossed I can get at least one done! Sadly my usual intense painting period between Christmas and New Year never materialised this year!

Quote from: Idiotproof Dalek on January 09, 2015, 01:07:51 pm
Lovely painting!!!!!

Is that storage unit bespoke or can anyone get one? And if so, where from??

Ta, I picked up the cupboard in a second hand furniture shop. My understanding is the design isn't that unique, but not sure where you might be a brand new one from.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 01, 2015, 09:20:45 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 144 February Blues Sunday 1st February 2015

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

144.1 The End Times

<INSERT ANOTHER UNFEELING PROMISE ABOUT UPDATING THE BLOG MORE OFTEN AND BEING SORRY AND ALL THAT TOSH>

Usually January sees a flourish of painting activity as I get loads done in that doldrums period between Christmas and New Year, which then inspires me for January. That's just not happened this year, though I have started reading The End Times – finally. I'm part way through Nagash Book 1 (hence not that far). I think I've pretty much stumbled on every spoiler there is on the way, but hush if you know any just in case. My thoughts so far are – it would be nice if the odd thing went the good guys way and it reassures me that Malagor's Beastmen perform about as well in the book as my Malagor and Beastmen do on the battlefield.

Shockingly I have actually done some painting, it's not really that related to End Times, well not the bit I've read – maybe he pops up later. But I've made some progress on my Throgg, that's not a euphemism.

144.2 Throgg Painting Guide

Throgg Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4246.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Shadow Grey/Abaddon Black
Belly Flesh: Baneblade Brown
Rock: Stormvermin Fur
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Dwarf Bronze: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Dwarf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Leather Straps: Scorched Brown
Cream Cloak: Steel Legion Drab
Red Cloak: Scab Red
White Cloak: Astronomican Grey
Brown Cloak: Scorched Brown
Fur: Steel Legion Drab
Grey Beard: Codex Grey
Orange Beard: Macharius Solar Orange


Throgg Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4247.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4248.jpg)

Base: Steel Legion Drab
Skulls/Horns: Steel Legion Drab
Flesh: 1:1 Shadow Grey/Abaddon Black
Belly Flesh: Baneblade Brown
Rock: Stormvermin Fur
Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Tin Metal: Tin Bitz
Dwarf Bronze: Tin Bitz
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Dwarf Silver: Wash Nuln Oil
Leather Straps: Scorched Brown
Cream Cloak: Steel Legion Drab
Red Cloak: Scab Red
White Cloak: Astronomican Grey
Brown Cloak: Scorched Brown
Fur: Steel Legion Drab
Grey Beard: Codex Grey
Orange Beard: Macharius Solar Orange


144.3 Get in Touch

It's a teeny tiny start, but hey at least it's something. Maybe I will finish Throgg by December or maybe I will have a burst of inspiration and finish him by November who knows.

As always I love to know what you think so throw us some comments, or harass me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 16, 2015, 09:29:32 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 145 Some Actual Painting Monday 16th February 2015

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

145.1 Painting Corner

Yes regular readers will be shocked to hear I have actually, unbelievably painted some models - cue gasp!

First up, yes first up implies there's more than one thing, I have completed Throgg, King of the Trolls, for my most recently failed Tale of OG Gamers.

Here he is in all his regenerative glory:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4260.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4264.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4266.jpg)

I'm really pleased with how he turned out,  I wasn't convinced early on in the painting! And yes the scheme is pretty much a blatant rip off of the Games Workshop paint scheme - but I like it so there! 

The one thing I maybe need to work on is my checkerboard painting,  which looks a little ropey - somewhere along the line my squares stopped being quite so square!

Here is positioned alongside his fellow Trolls, he's come out a little bluer than his loyal subjects - largely because I painted them such a very long time ago that I didn't keep an accurate record of what colours I used. But hey Trolls are naturally  chaotic so it doesn't matter. Plus he's about three times taller than his comrades which is probably more odd than the skin shade.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4267.jpg)

Adding him to my Tale of OG Gamers Warriors of Chaos army (last seen in Update 139) produces the following list:

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4294.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4297.jpg)

LORDS
Chaos Sorcerer    Lord      235 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      15 points
+Manticore         150 points
+Magic Items         50 points
450 points

LORDS: 450 points

HEROES
Throgg            195 points
195 points

HEROES: 195 points

CORE
20x Foresaken         380 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      20 points
400 points

Chaos Chariot         110 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
120 points

CORE: 520 points

SPECIAL
Gorebeast Chariot      130 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      10 points
140 points

Chimera         230 points
+ Flaming Breath      30 points
+ Regenerating Flesh      15 points
275 points

8x Chaos Ogres         264 points
+ Ogre Mutant         10 points
+ Musician         10 points
+ Standard Bearer      10 points
+ Mark of Tzeentch      32 points
+ Great Weapons      64 points
390 points

SPECIAL: 805 points

TOTAL: 1,970 points

That leaves for my Warriors Tale Army just a Hellcannon (currently being assembled) and a Hellbrute or Mutilath Vortex Beast (currently untouched in box) to add.

145.2 Throgg Painting Guide Stages 3-4

Throgg Painting Guide – Stage 3

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4298.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4299.jpg)

Base: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Baneblade Brown, then Rakarth Flesh
Flesh: Layer 1:1 Shadow Grey/Space Wolves Grey
Belly Flesh: Layer 2:1 Graveyard Earth/Ushabti Bone, then layer 1:1 Graveyard Earth/Ushabti Bone
Rock: Selectively Drybrush Gretchin Green, then drybrush Astronomacian Grey
Gold Metal: Wash Seraphim Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Shining Gold/Mithril Silver
Tin Metal: Highlight 5:1 Tin Bitz/Boltgun Metal
Dwarf Bronze: Wash Seraphim Sepia, then Highlight 5:1 Dwarf Bronze/Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Dwarf Silver: Highlight 1:1 Chainmail/Boltgun Metal
Leather Straps: Highlight Scorched Brown
Cream Cloak: Layer 1:1 Baneblade Brown/Kommando Khaki, then layer Kommando Khaki
Red Cloak: Layer 1:1 Red Gore/Blood Red, then layer Blood Red
White Cloak: Layer 1:2 Astronomican Grey/Skull White, Highlight squares 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey
Brown Cloak: Drybrush Vermin Brown
Fur: Drybrush Rakarth Flesh
Grey Beard: Drybrush Codex Grey
Orange Beard: Drybrush Fiery Orange
Mouth: Layer Emperor's Children, then 3:1 Emperor's Children/Skull White
Wood: Highlight Bubonic Brown


Throgg Painting Guide – Stage 4

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4260.jpg)

Base: Flocked with Scorched Grass and Citadel Snow
Skulls/Horns: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then 1:1 Ushabti Bone/Skull White
Flesh: Wash recesses Agrax Earthshade, then wash Drakenhof Nightshade
Belly Flesh: Highlight Ushabti Bone, then wash Seraphim Sepia
Rock: Wash recesses Nuln Oil, then drybrush Skull White
Gold Metal: Highlight Mithril Silver
Tin Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dwarf Bronze: Highlight Mithril Silver
Silver Metal: Highlight Chainmail
Dwarf Silver: Highlight Chainmail
Leather Straps: Highlight Bestial Brown
Cream Cloak: Highlight 1:1 Kommando Khaki/Ushabti Bone, then Highlight Ushabti Bone
Red Cloak: Wash recesses Nuln Oil, then wash cloak Carrobourg Crimson
White Cloak: Highlight Skull White
Brown Cloak: Drybrush Vomit Brown
Fur: Drybrush Ushabti Bone
Grey Beard: Drybrush Fortress Grey
Orange Beard: DONE
Mouth: Highlight Skull White, then wash 1:1:1 Devlan Mud/Leviathan Purple/Thraka Green
Wood: DONE


145.3 The Other Tale of OG Gamers

Before I failed the Warriors Tale of OG Gamers, back in Update 129,  I failed an Ultramarines Tale of OG Gamers. As of 2015's resolutions I have vowed to take my army up to 2,400 points. With that in mind I have added a couple of Space Marine Captains (one free with a Web purchase, the other bought in a moment of madness, but I quite like it) and a Predator.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4270.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4274.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4275.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4278.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4279.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4280.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4281.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4285.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4286.jpg)

I've magnetised my Predator so that it can be built with either weapon options for the man turret and the side mounted weapons. The sponsons can also be removed, and the whole model converts into a second Rhino for my army.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4289.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4291.jpg)

I don't think this magnetising has added anything deeply ground-breaking to the hobby world! My one useful tip is if you have two parts that need to be magnetised together at a point where the surfaces aren't in close proximity - the gun turret for example, then adding an offcut piece of plastic frame is a useful way of getting the magnets  closer .

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4292.jpg)

I used a few extra magnets on each stack here, simply to keep the two halves of the turret tight so that the gun stays erect (s!@%$#%@).

That takes my total Ultramarine task force to the following list:

HQ
Space Marine Captain      90 points
90 points

Space Marine Captain      90 points
+ Power Fists         25 points
115 points

Space Marine Captain      90 points
+ Power Fists         25 points
+ Plasma Pistol         15 points
130 points

HQ: 335 points

Troops
Tactical Squad         70 points
+5 Additional Space Marines   70 points
+ Flamer         5 points
+ Missile Launcher      15 points
+ Chainsword (rep. Bolt Gun)   0 points
160 points

Tactical Squad         70 points
+5 Additional Space Marines   70 points
+ Plasma Gun         15 points
+ Missile Launcher      15 points
+ Power Fist         25 points
195 points

Scout Squad         55 points
+ Heavy Bolter         8 points
+ Plasma Pistol         15 points
78 points

Troops: 433 points

Dedicated Transports
Rhino            35 points
+ Storm Bolter         5 points
+ Hunter-Killer Missile      10 points
50 points

Drop Pod         35 points
+ Locator Beacon      10 points
45 points

Dedicated Transports: 95 points

Elites
Terminator Squad      200 points
+ 1 Additional Terminator   40 points
240 points

Dreadnought         100 points
100 points

Elites: 340 points

Fast Attack
Assault Squad         85 points
+ 5 Additional Space Marines   85 points
+ Flamer         10 points
+ Power Fist         25 points
+ Plasma Pistol         15 points
220 points

Fast Attack: 220 points

Heavy Support
Devastator Squad      70 points
+ Chainsword (rep. Bolt Gun)   0 points
+ Heavy Bolter         10 points
+ Missile Launch      15 points
+ Flakk Missiles      10 points
+ Plasma Cannon      15 points
+ Lascannon         20 points
140 points

Predator         75 points
+ Twin-linked Lascannon   25 points
+ 2x Heavy Bolters      40 points
140 points

Vindicator         125 points
+ Extra Armour      10 points
+ Dozer Blade         5 points
140 points

Heavy Support: 420 points

TOTAL: 1,843 points

I'm currently using my new found magnet skills to build some  Centurions with multiple weapons  options as the next addition to the list.

145.4 Get In Touch

With two important projects on the go, I have clearly got distracted painting some classic Dwarf models - such is the way of the hobby butterfly.  Any way do feel free to tell me off for losing focus either on here, or by following me on Twitter @ProbyNumbers.  Until next time. Byeeeeeeeeee.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Angelus Mortifer on February 17, 2015, 12:26:22 am
Nice Limited Edition Captains, and the Pred came out really well. I picked up the Plasma Pistol dude, ready to be painted around 2023  :wink;m::

Good stuff, paint more!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 17, 2015, 12:00:34 pm
Quote from: Angelus Mortifer on February 17, 2015, 12:26:22 am
Nice Limited Edition Captains, and the Pred came out really well. I picked up the Plasma Pistol dude, ready to be painted around 2023  :wink;m::

Good stuff, paint more!

Cheers dude glad you like it - yes I have many things like that, that I will paint one day!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: Crompton on February 17, 2015, 05:03:17 pm
You cannot have all those (lovely) photos and then tease me right at the end with a mention of some Dwarfs that you haven't taken a photo of. Booooooooo
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on February 17, 2015, 10:01:36 pm
Quote from: Crompton on February 17, 2015, 05:03:17 pm
You cannot have all those (lovely) photos and then tease me right at the end with a mention of some Dwarfs that you haven't taken a photo of. Booooooooo

Sorry not meant to be a tease! I have literally only done the base coat will add some Dwarf photos when some progress has been made.
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: cunningmatt on March 08, 2015, 12:37:45 pm
Procrastination by Numbers: Update 146 Building Little Men Sunday 8th March 2015

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbNLOGOSMALLSIZE.jpg)

146.1 The Ranting of  a Mad Man

Again another howl of anguish cried out, reverberating off the walls it echoed into the streets below setting rats scurrying from their hiding places and travellers foolish enough to be out at that dark hour running to their destination even more fleet of foot. The air of dismay could be felt throughout the city, no one rested easy that night as the rain beat down, even the dead could not sleep.

There was another loud shriek, the sound of metal clattering across a wooded floor could be heard. The rituals and enchantments designed to bond the scattered fragments had yet again failed and would have to be performed again from scratch. That night the city would not sleep easy...


That's right I have been gluing more models together for all my sins, bit of an eclectic mix of bits and pieces, but that seems to my preferred style of painting at present – the odd bit for this army, the odd bit for that.

First up on the assembly table is the new, well new by more painting speed, Dwarf Slayer model. Yeah he's not as quaint as some of the older models I am adding to my Dwarf army but you have to admit he does look rather impressive.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4300.jpg)

Then there's Gotrek and Felix (or Go trek and Felixstowe as my autocorrect would prefer), I really love these classic fourth edition models – and let's be honest who when faced with a sprue with a thousand pieces on doesn't look fondly back at the days where you pushed the model in a slotta base and it was done?! I know these are less playing pieces more literary characters but they look fun to paint and surely I can come up with some obscene rules to use them on the table-top that will actually give me a chance of winning.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4301.jpg)

Carrying on my trio of orange-haired midget loonies I've added Ungrim Ironfist to the painting pile. I'm planning to paint him up in his classic guise, rather than as a flaming ball of incarnate rage. Real shame that Games Workshop haven't added any new models for the "goodies" of The End Times – some good opportunities missed there. I considered removing Ungrim's banner pole, but my Dwarf army is a classic army so I left them on. The banners are from the High Elf Silver Helm kit, and I used green stuff to add loops to the flags.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4302.jpg)

Speaking of classic Dwarfs I added, probably the best ever, version of the Dwarf Gyrocopter to my army. Yeah he's throwing bombs which a Gyrocopter can't do now, but he looks cool and he was much easier to build than his metal successor (don't know about the current plastic version)! I've masking taped up his flying base here just for spraying with Chaos Black!

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4303.jpg)

Spoiler Alert, Spoiler Alert! I've only just finished reading Warhammer: Nagash – I'm way behind so this is probably only a spoiler alert for me! However I seem to have now assembled a load of characters who have since died.

King Kazador who should have had some rules in Warhammer: Nagash but was sadly overlooked, was next on my list. His banners are the plastic ones from the High Elf Spearmen kit, I've filed off the Elven runes and cut the gems off. The plastic symbols were from the original plastic Dwarf Warrior kit, designed for the shields.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4304.jpg)

For entirely pointless reasons I have also built Kraggi (the Jar Jar Binks of the Warhammer World) and his furnace, even though I haven't built the Anvil of Doom or the Runesmith to go with it. Yeah I know.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4305.jpg)

I also assembled Eltharion the Grimm, the only Elf character from the current army book I have painted. Imrik being a tempting new option! This was probably one of the first ever models I bought after getting the 4th edition of Warhammer (although you did get a card version to use in the game). This isn't actually that model, it got "manked" together (technical term) with glue, and bits got least in the many years since I got it. But still it's exciting to be painting a model with such personal history. The joy of pining together metal pieces that really don't fit together was very exciting, but it does seem quite stable. I have green stuffed some pieces of stone to make the base, I'm hoping it will look like a ruined Elven street once painted – we will see.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4306.jpg)

Lastly I've assembled a Hellcannon of Chaos, I'm told the metal model is even harder to put together than the resin version I did. I feel sorry for metal Hellcannon owners. This was a bloody pain, in fairness my problems may are quite resin specific with warped parts that can't really be reshaped. I am hoping I can pass it off as being misshapen due to its organic components!

I wasn't really sure what to in terms of building appropriate subassemblies before painting. I have decided to build the main frame leaving off the blast doors to the furnace, the two largest cogs (including leaving the large eight-star Chaos symbol separate) and the chains that tie the cannon to its base. I'll let you know if this was a good idea or not as we progress.

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4307.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4308.jpg)

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4309.jpg)

For those of you wondering if I got round to assembling anything for my Ultramarines army I started work on my Centurions, got phased by the prospect of magnetising all the weapons options and so just built the legs. It's a start. What happened to the classic sets with no different weapons options?

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4310.jpg)

It wouldn't be a Procrastination by Numbers blog if I didn't get distracted by some other project from that I'm not supposed to be doing. This update it was painting my classic Dwarf Thunderers. I have to confess I started painting this models years and years ago, put them in a drawer and never got back to them. As such all their beards have been completed and I have no idea what I did!!

146.2 Dwarf Thunderers Painting Guide Stages 1-2

Thunderers Painting Guide – Stage 1

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4311.jpg)

Flesh: Talaran Flesh
Chainmail: Drybrush Boltgun Metal
Silver Metal: Boltgun Metal
Light Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Dark Gold Metal: Tin Bitz
Bronze: Tin Bitz
Tin: Tin Bitz
Dark Leather: Scorched Brown
Light Leather: Calthan Brown
Wood: Calthan Brown
Black Fabric: Abaddon Black
Dark Grey Fabric: Charadon Granite
Light Grey Fabric: Adeptus Battlegrey
Beard: VARIOUS
Blue Trim: Necron Abyss
Rope: Calthan Brown


Thunderers Painting Guide – Stage 2

(http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/ae119/cunningmatt/PbN%20Album/PbN 4312.jpg)

Flesh: Layer Dwarf Flesh
Chainmail: Wash Nuln Oil
Silver Metal: Wash Nuln Oil
Light Gold Metal: Auric Armour Gold
Dark Gold Metal: Shining Gold
Bronze: Dwarf Bronze
Tin: Wash Agrax Earthshade
Dark Leather: Wash Nuln Oil
Light Leather: Layer Snakebite Leather
Wood: Highlight Snakebite Leather
Black Fabric: Highlight 1:1 Abaddon Black/Codex Grey
Dark Grey Fabric: Highlight Codex Grey
Light Grey Fabric: Layer Codex Grey
Beard: VARIOUS
Blue Trim: Layer Regal Blue
Rope: Highlight Snakebite Leather


146.3 Get In Touch

As always abuse, encouragement, cash gifts all to be sent on Twitter @ProbyNumbers or here.  Pop back soon to see if I finish anything!!
Title: Re: Procrastination by Numbers
Post by: roland murat on March 08, 2015, 12:44:01 pm
Nice to see you rolling with the classics there